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Why Do Narcissists Start To Hit Themselves After They Have Done You Wrong? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So why do some narcissists hit themselves when they feel like
• 0:04
  they've done you wrong? Like, why are so many
• 0:06
  narcissistic people toxic people willing to put their hands on
• 0:10
  themselves in order to try to prove that they love you, in
• 0:14
  order to try to prove that they have done you wrong.
• 0:17
  And if they also are feeling pain for their wrongdoings?
• 0:21
  That's what we're talking about today, y'all?
• 0:22
  Of course, if you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
• 0:24
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself here to give you the
• 0:26
  inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
• 0:29
  And we're going to hop right into y'all, no intro.
• 0:31
  I know some people like Lee, we don't like the intro.
• 0:34
  Some people like I love the intro.
• 0:35
  Hey, today I'm recording on my phone.
• 0:37
  We're not doing the intro today, right?
• 0:39
  We're not going, we're not even going to include the intro in
• 0:41
  today and whatnot. But what we are going to do,
• 0:44
  what we are going to work on is why some of these pesky desky
• 0:48
  narcissistic people just decide up out of nowhere to be get to
• 0:54
  get handsy with themselves, right?
• 0:59
  And not I'm not even laughing at the narcissistic person, right?
• 1:02
  Because let me say this right here.
• 1:05
  Just because someone puts their hands on themselves does not
• 1:07
  mean that they're a narcissist, right?
• 1:09
  Not all narcissists will put them hand with put their hands
• 1:11
  on themselves. Not all narcissists will start
• 1:13
  to beat they own asses because they've done you wrong.
• 1:16
  Sometimes it's a, it's something else, right?
• 1:18
  Sometimes I had somebody in my comment section earlier saying
• 1:22
  that an autistic person could do this because they don't
• 1:24
  understand what's going on on how they hurt you or whatever
• 1:26
  the case may be. Yeah, that could be true, right?
• 1:30
  It's to me, it's always the intent that matters the most,
• 1:36
  right? The intention behind the action
• 1:39
  is what matters the most to me. Now, to some people that don't
• 1:43
  matter to some people, I don't care why you beating your own
• 1:46
  ass. They don't care why you beating
• 1:47
  your own ass, why you hitting yourself, why you willing to
• 1:49
  black your own eye. They don't care about that.
• 1:52
  The fact that you're doing it is enough for them to be like, you
• 1:55
  know what I think, I think we're going to call this a wrap.
• 1:58
  I think we're going to wrap this one up pretty soon.
• 2:01
  We're going to wrap this one up early.
• 2:02
  We don't need, we don't need to go back and forth with this one.
• 2:05
  They just leave you immediately, right?
• 2:07
  But some people are just, they are willing to stay through.
• 2:10
  They want to understand why somebody is hitting themselves
• 2:12
  as they diagnose narcissist. Would I hit myself if I've done
• 2:16
  you wrong? No, I'm not going to do that.
• 2:19
  But there are some narcissistic people, abusive people,
• 2:22
  manipulative people, toxic people that absolutely will.
• 2:26
  They will hit themselves because in their minds, let's just let
• 2:29
  me let me put my narcissist hat on, y'all?
• 2:31
  Somebody got to see me a narcissist hat if I put if I
• 2:34
  were to put my narcissist hat on.
• 2:35
  Yeah. And I'm sorry thinking right
• 2:36
  now. I was like, OK, why would I be
• 2:39
  hitting myself right now? It's because I want to show you
• 2:43
  that I know that you're hurting, but I'm also hurting, right?
• 2:50
  I want to show you that I know that you're in pain, but so am
• 2:56
  I. You're not the only one hurting
• 2:58
  here. We're both hurting.
• 3:00
  We're both, we both are in pain right now.
• 3:02
  So you're not the only one hurting.
• 3:04
  You're not the only one feeling this.
• 3:06
  I am feeling it as well. And that to me, that show, that
• 3:10
  should show you that I care. To me, that should show you that
• 3:13
  I'm feeling this. To me, that should show.
• 3:15
  That should be enough, right? Right.
• 3:17
  Me beating my own ass, me willing to hit myself shows you
• 3:21
  that I care and should show you, right, Right.
• 3:25
  Sometimes that's not going to be right.
• 3:26
  Sometimes them beating your own, like sometimes if I'm hitting
• 3:29
  myself and I'm black in my eye, it really is a distraction,
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  right? It really is just a distraction
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  for what I've done. I'm trying to distract you from
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  what I've done to you. I'm trying to distract you from
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  what I've put you through. I'm trying to get the guilt away
• 3:44
  from myself. I don't want to feel this pain.
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  I don't want to feel this hurt. I don't want to feel this guilt.
• 3:49
  So I'm trying to feel. I'm trying to get it away from
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  me. So if I'm beating my own ass, if
• 3:53
  I'm hitting myself consistently in the head or in my face, I
• 3:57
  want you to feel bad. I want you to say, well damn,
• 4:01
  maybe he he does care. Maybe he, maybe he really is
• 4:04
  hurting. And guess what?
• 4:05
  If you don't show me any empathy, guess what?
• 4:09
  I'm now the victim. If you don't show me empathy,
• 4:14
  I'm the victim. Now, isn't that crazy?
• 4:17
  No, I know I'm not the victim, right?
• 4:19
  But I'm trying to be the victim here.
• 4:22
  I know good and damn well that I've done something wrong to
• 4:25
  you. So I know good and damn well
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  that I truly am not the victim. But I want to be.
• 4:30
  I want to betray myself as the victim.
• 4:32
  So sometimes if push comes to shove, this is what I'm going to
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  do. I'm going to put it out there or
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  try to make it seem like I am the victim in some way, shape or
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  form. Like you hurt me by not carrying
• 4:44
  enough to stop trying to hold me accountable.
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  You hurt me by not carrying enough to tell me to stop
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  hitting myself and and like loving me and caring about me
• 4:54
  instead of trying to hold me accountable.
• 4:55
  You hurt me. I'm the victim here.
• 5:01
  It's just victim mode y'all. And I'll say this not just as a
• 5:04
  narcissist, right, but as a man, as a grown human being, as a
• 5:07
  grown adult. If someone starts hitting
• 5:10
  themselves, chances are they'll do the same thing to you.
• 5:14
  Now I know that not everyone that hits themselves will put
• 5:18
  their hands on you, but are you what do you want to take that
• 5:21
  chance? Do you do you want to take that
• 5:25
  chance that this person actually will put their hands on you?
• 5:28
  Do you want to take that chance that this person will actually
• 5:30
  UN alive you? Because like I posted a video
• 5:34
  earlier today, like today of this young man beating on his
• 5:38
  beating on himself and there were so many people in the
• 5:40
  comment section. It's like my ex did something
• 5:43
  similar, except they didn't hit themselves.
• 5:45
  They held a knife to their own throat.
• 5:47
  They held a knife to their own stomach.
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  They actually had a damn gun and put the gun to their head and
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  said that they were going to pull the trigger if I didn't
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  come over there and talk to them.
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  Now y'all, let me be frank when I say this right here.
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  I'm not joking. I'm not bullshitting, I'm not.
• 6:01
  I got a cuss. I need to be real with y'all.
• 6:03
  If someone is threatening to harm themselves or threatening
• 6:07
  to take their own life, let's just say they're being real.
• 6:12
  They will take you with them. You think that?
• 6:16
  Now, are there cases where somebody will UN alive
• 6:18
  themselves in front of you to make you live with the trauma
• 6:21
  and pain? Yeah, but most of these people,
• 6:24
  I think, will take you with them.
• 6:26
  Family are not family annihilators are real.
• 6:29
  You keep hearing these stories about they tried to leave.
• 6:31
  She tried to leave and he showed up and shot everybody, including
• 6:34
  himself. She tried.
• 6:36
  He tried to leave and she showed up and set the house on fire.
• 6:39
  Like, you hear these stories all the time.
• 6:41
  Yeah, more stories about men doing it right, of course.
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  But that's what ends up happening.
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  That's the space that so many people are falling into.
• 6:50
  It really is a true, true to life thing.
• 6:53
  They are going to try to play the victim.
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  They will absolutely hurt or harm you.
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  If they're willing to harm themselves, they are willing to
• 7:00
  harm you. Yes, sometimes it's
• 7:04
  manipulation. Sometimes they don't plan on
• 7:06
  doing anything right. But on the off chance that they
• 7:09
  will, why would they leave you to tell the tale?
• 7:15
  Like don't go over there if they're, if they have their
• 7:17
  phone and they just like, if you don't come over here now, I'm
• 7:20
  going to shoot myself. You need to get over here now.
• 7:22
  Don't take your empathetic ass over there.
• 7:25
  Why the fuck would you do that? Don't go over there to save
• 7:27
  their life. Call the police, call the
• 7:29
  suicide hotline, call an emergency Wellness check or
• 7:32
  something like that. Don't take your ass over there,
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  but they're going to fucking kill you.
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  You want to be a target. You can't save them.
• 7:39
  Your presence will just put you in danger.
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  And if you have kids, they're going to take you out of here.
• 7:44
  You, your kids will no longer have another parent, right?
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  Because you want to go try to save them.
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  You can't save them. They don't want to be saved.
• 7:51
  They want to be the victim. They want to hurt themselves and
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  hurt you and leave you in pain. They want to make everybody
• 7:57
  suffer because they can't be. They can't act right.
• 8:00
  They can't behave correctly. So they want to make everybody
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  suffer because of it. You want to leave your kids
• 8:05
  behind, Nicole, say this narcissistic, toxic, lying
• 8:07
  bastard. Don't do that.
• 8:13
  Sorry. I don't know where that ramp
• 8:15
  bubble came from. Like they, that one, I normally
• 8:17
  can tell when the ramp bubble is coming, but that one just came
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  out of nowhere because I, I know how this manipulation works on
• 8:24
  people. I know the mindset, I know the
• 8:26
  mentality that goes into this. So that's why I tried to tell
• 8:28
  you straight up right now, don't fall for this shit, man.
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  Like if they're harming themselves, they will harm you.
• 8:36
  They are not really out. They don't care what they've
• 8:38
  done to you. I know it and what what goes
• 8:41
  into in the mind of some people because I'm doing my one on ones
• 8:43
  over Zoom. I still do my one on ones right
• 8:45
  or my support group. I know what goes on in your
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  minds. Y'all be like, well, they they
• 8:49
  must really be hurting because they harmed themselves.
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  They must really care because they harmed themselves.
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  That don't mean shit. If they really care, they
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  wouldn't do it. They wouldn't have done whatever
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  they'd done to you to make you want to leave them.
• 9:00
  If they really care, they wouldn't cheat.
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  If they really care, they wouldn't put their hands on you.
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  They really care. They wouldn't do all this
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  horrible ass shit to you, would they?
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  If they really care, they will be there for you and care for
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  you and love you and love you through it.
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  If they really cared. Like beating themselves, harming
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  themselves physically is not the fact that they really care.
• 9:18
  That's just fit. There's a physical rest.
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  That's just prove to you that narcissists don't get to don't
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  get to the emotional depth. They immediately go to the
• 9:27
  physical. They immediately go to the
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  physical. Oh, I, the only way I can show
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  you that I love you is to give you a gift or to sleep with you.
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  The only way I can show you show you that I'm hurting is to beat
• 9:39
  myself up. You see how it's physical?
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  It's never the emotional stuff. It's physical.
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  A physical representation of how much they care.
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  I'm blacking my own eye. What's?
• 9:48
  Go watch My go watch the. What's the Jim Carrey movie?
• 9:53
  Liar. Liar.
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  What are you? What are you doing?
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  What the hell are you doing? I'm kicking my ass.
• 9:58
  What does it look like? Do you mind?
• 10:01
  Right. He was kicking his own ass.
• 10:02
  Who's beating himself up because he knew that he had messed up in
• 10:06
  his own way out of it. I have to physically beat my own
• 10:10
  ass to get out of this drama that I created.
• 10:12
  To get out of this drama that I actually started.
• 10:16
  I have to beat my own ass for that right there.
• 10:23
  I'm sorry y'all, but I, I get passionate about this shit man
• 10:26
  cuz y'all have kids y'all. Our kids deserve to grow up
• 10:29
  better than we did. Our kids deserve a fighting
• 10:32
  chance. Our kids deserve the opportunity
• 10:35
  to live a better, more fulfilling life, and they cannot
• 10:38
  do that if you keep going back to this abusive bastard.
• 10:41
  If them if you go over there and risk your own life to save
• 10:45
  theirs right. Your kids can't grow.
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  Your kids going to have no parents.
• 10:49
  Then you see what I'm saying? That's kind of mean.
• 10:54
  I got I got to wake you the fuck up.
• 10:57
  How's I'm going to wake you up? It's just a matter you hadn't
• 11:00
  seen this video. You have an abusive ex that beat
• 11:03
  your ass and now they put a gun to their head and they
• 11:05
  threatened to harm themselves unless you came over there and
• 11:07
  talked to them. You go over there, talk to them,
• 11:09
  they shoot you, then they shoot themselves.
• 11:11
  And your kids are doing what? You know what I'm saying?
• 11:16
  You might have went over there if I would have made this video
• 11:19
  or Lee. I didn't go over there and they
• 11:21
  still shot themselves. It's my fault.
• 11:23
  No, you just didn't give them another target.
• 11:27
  You can't pull someone out of the depression.
• 11:29
  You can't pull someone out of that.
• 11:32
  You forgiving them for harming you or hurting you and not and
• 11:35
  not holding them accountable doesn't help them here.
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  How? How are they going to get better
• 11:38
  y'all? They have to actively choose to
• 11:41
  get better in these situations. They have to actively choose
• 11:43
  that. So if they're hitting themselves
• 11:45
  or harming themselves, it doesn't mean that they care.
• 11:48
  They just think their own life is about to blow up their care.
• 11:50
  Look, they it means that they care about themselves.
• 11:52
  They are harming themselves right now because they care more
• 11:55
  about themselves and how they're going to look and what the
• 11:57
  representation of this is going to be.
• 12:01
  I want to try to shake my dreads right there, y'all.
• 12:03
  Anyways, y'all think I'll make to the end of this video.
• 12:06
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