Latest / Shared Light / Ep. 31 - Why We Started: Revisiting Where the Light Begins

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Ep. 31 - Why We Started: Revisiting Where the Light Begins · Shared Light

• speaker-1: Greetings all. Welcome to another episode of Shared Light with Dustie and JR I am obviously JR. So first things speaker-0: and I'm Dustie speaker-1: first, you guys can obviously see if you're watching that we are not in our makeshift studio right now. had a lot going on this weekend, but we did want to put out kind of something really it's gonna be more of a look back. we're going to I think we're gonna be editing this and clipping in our old, probably our first episode. speaker-0: I think probably our first episode. speaker-1: just to get some more exposure, just to look back a little bit. I will apologize because our audio was terrible back then and so was our background. So if you're watching online, sorry. But More than anything, we really just wanted to share this moment with you guys. Let you know that we're still good. We just had a lot going on. School starting. My school's starting. My wife's feeling a little bit under the weather, so please enjoy this upcoming old look at our what was the name of that episode? Where the light begins. speaker-0: I believe so. Where the light begins. speaker-1: So Again, look at where the light begins. You'll understand a little bit of our philosophy. And, keep sharing your light. Enjoy this episode. And we'll get you a new one next week. Stay blessed. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Good evening all. Welcome to the very first episode of Shared Light with JR and Dustie I'm JR. ⁓ This is my beautiful wife Dustie. ⁓ And we've been together for ⁓ two decades, ⁓ married almost 20 years. ⁓ And although we don't have all of the answers when it comes to love and ⁓ marriage, In-person participant 1: Good evening all. Welcome to the very first episode of Shared Light with JR and Dustie. I'm JR. This is my beautiful wife Dustie. ⁓ And we've been together for ⁓ two decades, ⁓ married almost 20 years. And although we don't have all of the answers when it comes to love and ⁓ marriage, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We have learned a lot along the way. So we want to share that with everybody what we have learned. Some of our struggles along the way and how we turn those into light. Right. In-person participant 1: We have learned a lot along the way. So we want to share that with everybody what we have learned. Some of our struggles along the way and how we turn those into light. Right. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: as you will come to find out at some point. In-person participant 1: as you will come to find out at some point. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We've seen a lot of dark in our journey separately and together. There've been some, as with any marriage and anything that you do in life, there are highs and lows to everything. And we've seen some really low lows and we've seen some really high highs. In-person participant 1: We've seen a lot of dark in our journey separately and together. There've been some, as with any marriage and anything that you do in life, there are highs and lows to everything. And we've seen some really low lows and we've seen some really high highs. You know, one of the things that has kept us together and kept us moving forward has been our ability to communicate and talk. Um, and through that communication, we've, like Dustie said, we've learned a lot and been able to achieve a lot together. So, um, we felt it was time to, um, spread our story and JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You know, one of the things that has kept us together and kept us moving forward has been our ability to communicate and talk. Um, and through that communication, we've, like Dustie said, we've learned a lot and been able to achieve a lot together. So, um, we felt it was time to, um, spread our story and, uh, you know, help inspire and, and, and hopefully provide some, help to some people that may be struggling. So, In-person participant 1: you know, help inspire and, and, and hopefully provide some, help to some people that may be struggling. So, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I know that there will be a lot to come in the future. In-person participant 1: I know that there will be a lot to come in the future. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I we've had a long journey, but we've learned. think one of the most important things that we've learned is like even when we do struggle or we have those dark times, like you still see if I'm having a hard time, like you still see my light and vice versa. So like you talk about it a lot when you like when we first met, like you were in a dark place. but I, In-person participant 1: I we've had a long journey, but we've learned. think one of the most important things that we've learned is like even when we do struggle or we have those dark times, like you still see if I'm having a hard time, like you still see my light and vice versa. So like you talk about it a lot when you like when we first met, like you were in a dark place. but I, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I mean I saw who you were, I saw your light. And I think that can and does go a long way in any relationship. Like even marriage, even a friendship, even with your family members, any type of relationship that you have, it's very important to be able to see not just good things about that person, but like their light, who they are. In-person participant 1: I mean I saw who you were, I saw your light. And I think that can and does go a long way in any relationship. Like even marriage, even a friendship, even with your family members, any type of relationship that you have, it's very important to be able to see not just good things about that person, but like their light, who they are. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: even though they're going through something in that moment, there's so much more. Like they're, they have goals, they have things that they've achieved or want to achieve or, so I think that that's probably one of the most important things in our relationship and our marriage and our, we're able to communicate better. Right. Well, and one of the things that I've learned is In-person participant 1: even though they're going through something in that moment, there's so much more. Like they're, they have goals, they have things that they've achieved or want to achieve or, so I think that that's probably one of the most important things in our relationship and our marriage and our, we're able to communicate better. Right. Well, and one of the things that I've learned is JR and Dustie Rodriguez: darkness you'll always gonna find light. As Dustie touched on a little bit I was before we met ⁓ in a really dark place and we'll get into some of that later on. In-person participant 1: darkness you'll always gonna find light. As Dustie touched on a little bit I was before we met ⁓ in a really dark place and we'll get into some of that later on. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: But from the moment I met her, and I tell her, I've told her this story, you know, after the first time that we talked on the phone, I knew she was my light. I knew that she was the one that was going to bring me out of this dark hole I was in. And from that moment forward, she has been an inspiration and a guiding light for me. In-person participant 1: But from the moment I met her, and I tell her, I've told her this story, you know, after the first time that we talked on the phone, I knew she was my light. I knew that she was the one that was going to bring me out of this dark hole I was in. And from that moment forward, she has been an inspiration and a guiding light for me. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: to completely change my my, know, completely turn my life around. I have leaned on her and some of my hardest times she has leaned on me and some of her hardest times. But it's that constant. Appreciation for. In-person participant 1: to completely change my my, know, completely turn my life around. I have leaned on her and some of my hardest times she has leaned on me and some of her hardest times. But it's that constant. Appreciation for. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: the underlying positive that she brings to my life that that never goes away for me. Even when we even when we argue and even when we don't get along, which you've been together for 20 years with anybody and I guarantee you're going to have an argument or two and there's going to be things that you don't agree on and and they're never fun. Those situations can cause a lot of hurt and can cause a lot of In-person participant 1: the underlying positive that she brings to my life that that never goes away for me. Even when we even when we argue and even when we don't get along, which you've been together for 20 years with anybody and I guarantee you're going to have an argument or two and there's going to be things that you don't agree on and and they're never fun. Those situations can cause a lot of hurt and can cause a lot of JR and Dustie Rodriguez: you know, negative feelings and anger and confusion. But at the end of the day, the thing that we both hold on to and In-person participant 1: you know, negative feelings and anger and confusion. But at the end of the day, the thing that we both hold on to and JR and Dustie Rodriguez: are willing to see in each other is that light. It is that one spark that we have for each other. And that's the way it should be to your point with everybody. You know, I see it in my kids. We are proud parents of two beautiful little girls that are also In-person participant 1: are willing to see in each other is that light. It is that one spark that we have for each other. And that's the way it should be to your point with everybody. You know, I see it in my kids. We are proud parents of two beautiful little girls that are also JR and Dustie Rodriguez: the other half of that equation for me, right? That other half of that inspiration, what am I doing to ensure that they can shine their light on other people and that they can build and grow and have somebody that they can look up to with an understanding that, you know, positivity goes a long way. In-person participant 1: the other half of that equation for me, right? That other half of that inspiration, what am I doing to ensure that they can shine their light on other people and that they can build and grow and have somebody that they can look up to with an understanding that, you know, positivity goes a long way. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Used to work with a guy that used to they used to ⁓ Consistently tell me you you kill them with kindness you got to kill them with kindness ⁓ And there's a lot to be said about that ⁓ Just ⁓ being nice to somebody ⁓ Randomly you never know what that's gonna. What kind of impact that's gonna have on somebody In-person participant 1: Used to work with a guy that used to they used to Consistently tell me you you kill him with kindness you got to kill him with kindness And there's a lot to be said about that Just being nice to somebody Randomly you never know what that's gonna. What kind of impact that's gonna have on somebody JR and Dustie Rodriguez: So not to get too far into the weeds on things. We'll obviously touch on a lot of topics. And we've got a long journey, and we've been on a long journey. And again, we're excited to share it with everybody. A little bit about how the podcast came about, I think, would be good to touch on for this first episode. In-person participant 1: So not to get too far into the weeds on things. We'll obviously touch on a lot of topics. And we've got a long journey, and we've been on a long journey. And again, we're excited to share it with everybody. A little bit about how the podcast came about, I think, would be good to touch on for this first episode. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Full disclosure, we are not perfect people. We are flawed in every way imaginable that you can think of. But again, we lean on each other in those times where we may feel our most vulnerable and our most hurt. so for a long time now, In-person participant 1: Full disclosure, we are not perfect people. We are flawed in every way imaginable that you can think of. But again, we lean on each other in those times where we may feel our most vulnerable and our most hurt. so for a long time now, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: My wife has been talking about doing a podcast. In-person participant 1: My wife has been talking about doing a podcast. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I generally a I like to say I'm a realist In-person participant 1: I generally a I like to say I'm a realist JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Let's see here. In-person participant 1: See you. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: and in a lot of ways that... In-person participant 1: and in a lot of ways that... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that keeps me from putting my vulnerabilities out and doing things that I do not necessarily know that are going to add value to our life, right? So. In-person participant 1: that keeps me from putting my vulnerabilities out and doing things that I do not necessarily know that are going to add value to our life, right? So. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And my wife, for the better part of a year, has been in a little bit of a dark place. You can call it a dark place. I mean, it's a dark place. And again, know, highs and lows, struggles and deep topics of conversation between the two of us. And here we are today. In-person participant 1: And my wife, for the better part of a year, has been in a little bit of a dark place. You can call it a dark place. I mean, it's a dark place. And again, know, highs and lows, struggles and deep topics of conversation between the two of us. And here we are today. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: So with that darkness comes again light, right? I am a firm believer that anywhere you will find dark, you will find light. And vice versa, unfortunately, in some instances. In-person participant 1: So with that darkness comes again light, right? I am a firm believer that anywhere you will find dark, you will find light. And vice versa, unfortunately, in some instances. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: So I would say over the past In-person participant 1: So I would say over the past JR and Dustie Rodriguez: What six months, three months? Three to six months, yeah. You're doing, I mean you're on an upward swing a little bit. Yeah, I mean I'm better. I'm not 100%. Right. she started working. We weren't really sure if that was going to be a good fit. Turned out to be not a great fit. So, found herself unemployed. In-person participant 1: What six months, three months? Three to six months, yeah. You're doing, I mean you're on an upward swing a little bit. Yeah, I mean I'm better. I'm not 100%. Right. she started working. We weren't really sure if that was going to be a good fit. Turned out to be not a great fit. So, found herself unemployed. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: and In-person participant 1: and JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Again, for the past, I don't even know how long you've been talking about a podcast. It's been about a year, probably. Well, maybe longer. don't, I don't remember the first time that I. but I just knew something that we could do. So I'm on my way to lot of wisdom. Right. the world. I mean, I don't know about all that, but, uh, so I'm driving to work and. In-person participant 1: Again, for the past, I don't even know how long you've been talking about a podcast. It's been about a year, probably. Well, maybe longer. don't, I don't remember the first time that I. but I just knew something that we could do. So I'm on my way to lot of wisdom. Right. the world. I mean, I don't know about all that, but, uh, so I'm driving to work and. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It was like a bolt of lightning, it just hit me. In-person participant 1: It was like a bolt of lightning, it just hit me. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I think the fundamental thing that I can gravitate to that we both that I have firmly in. In-person participant 1: I think the fundamental thing that I can gravitate to that we both that I have firmly in. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: put my hands in a higher power of understanding to know that the one common thing that the both of us share is an undeniable urge to help others. Yeah. To see them do better, be better, succeed. Right. So. In-person participant 1: put my hands in a higher power of understanding to know that the one common thing that the both of us share is an undeniable urge to help others. Yeah. To see them do better, be better, succeed. Right. So. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: what better way to spread the word and to try and help others. In-person participant 1: what better way to spread the word and to try and help others. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And I would say for the better part of the last decade, my focus has been micro within the organizations and with the people that I've worked with and the relationships I've developed with people I work with, the kids, and seeing them improve, seeing the people I work with improve, striving to make sure that we're moving towards the goals that we have. In-person participant 1: And I would say for the better part of the last decade, my focus has been micro within the organizations and with the people that I've worked with and the relationships I've developed with people I work with, the kids, and seeing them improve, seeing the people I work with improve, striving to make sure that we're moving towards the goals that we have. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: But. In-person participant 1: But. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Sometimes I understand that you feel lost in that equation. In-person participant 1: Sometimes I understand that you feel lost in that equation. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Yeah, I think once the kids went back to school was really around the time that you also kind of dove into and found your groove in your career as far as like, In-person participant 1: Yeah, I think once the kids went back to school was really around the time that you also kind of dove into and found your groove in your career as far as like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I know what I want to do now. I want to mentor people. I want to be that person for people and help them grow and help them... Which is great and which you know I support. But on my end of it, from my view, it was... In-person participant 1: I know what I want to do now. I want to mentor people. I want to be that person for people and help them grow and help them... Which is great and which you know I support. But on my end of it, from my view, it was... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: where do I stand? Like where do I fit now? You know what I mean? Like my kids are in school, they're doing their thing. Like they still need me, but they're not home all day and they need me in that way. In-person participant 1: where do I stand? Like where do I fit now? You know what I mean? Like my kids are in school, they're doing their thing. Like they still need me, but they're not home all day and they need me in that way. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You have an, not that you're not focused on me, but like you have another focus that you're honing into and... In-person participant 1: you have an, not that you're not focused on me, but like you have another focus that you're honing into. And it's like, like I told you, like it's okay. I've supported them, been there. Like it's kind of like when you do raise kids, like, okay, now that they're adults, here you go. Like even though they're not, but like that's kind of how I felt. Like. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's like, like I told you, like it's okay. I've supported them, been there. Like, it's kind of like when you do raise kids, like, okay, now that they're adults, here you go. Like, even though they're not, but like, that's kind of how I felt. Like, now they're doing their thing, all of them. And where am I? What am I doing? Where do I fit? Who am I? I know that I'm... In-person participant 1: Now they're doing their thing, all of them, and where am I? What am I doing? Where do I fit? Who am I? I know that I'm Jer's wife. I know that I'm the kids' mom. But that's not my full-time, 100 % focus anymore because they don't need it to be. And so, yeah. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I know that I'm the kid's mom. But that's not my full time 100 % focus anymore because they don't need it to be. lost. Right. I mean we were happy. We're obviously not like lost in a marriage and and the kids aren't lost. but I myself and where I was supposed to fit in and what I was supposed to be doing is where I felt lost. So it felt like well now I'm not enough. Like now I don't have to do all these other things that I was doing every day all day. So yeah. In-person participant 1: lost. Right. Right. I mean we were happy. We're obviously not like lost in a marriage and and the kids aren't lost. but I myself and where I was supposed to fit in and what I was supposed to be doing is where I felt lost. So it felt like well now I'm not enough. Like now I don't have to do all these other things that I was doing every day all day. So yeah. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Which again full disclosure and you and I have talked about this so you have been For me For the better part of 20 years What I strive to be for people now You have been my rock you have been my support you have been the one who has mentored me You have been I mean and you may not even realize it, but you have right so I take a lot of cues from In-person participant 1: Which again full disclosure and you and I have talked about this so you have been For me For the better part of 20 years What I strive to be for people now You have been my rock you have been my support you have been the one who has mentored me You have been I mean and you may not even realize it, but you have right so I take a lot of cues from JR and Dustie Rodriguez: the good person that you are ⁓ inherently ⁓ and that you were raised to be ⁓ inherently. And not to say that I was not because I had a good upbringing. My parents were great. ⁓ but I In-person participant 1: the good person that you are inherently and that you were raised to be inherently. And not to say that I was not because I had a good upbringing. My parents were great. Bye. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: took a detour. In-person participant 1: took a detour. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And looking back, you know, as of the conversation that we had the other day that prompted this podcast start, is I finally understand it. finally understand. In-person participant 1: And looking back, you know, as of the conversation that we had the other day that prompted this podcast start, is I finally understand it. finally understand. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that our purposes align. Your purpose has been focused on the kids and I. In-person participant 1: that our purposes align. Your purpose has been focused on the kids and I. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: which has In-person participant 1: which has JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We have seen and reaped all the benefits of, but the flip side to that is I could understand why you felt lost now, right? I didn't understand it even three weeks ago, four weeks ago. And some of that may be, you know, the classes that I'm taking and reflections and things that I'm doing. And I'm starting to kind of connect some dots, bigger picture, but, In-person participant 1: We have seen and reaped all the benefits of, but the flip side to that is I could understand why you felt lost now, right? I didn't understand it even three weeks ago, four weeks ago. And some of that may be, you know, the classes that I'm taking and reflections and things that I'm doing. And I'm starting to kind of connect some dots, bigger picture, but, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It brought us to where we are today, which. In-person participant 1: It brought us to where we are today, which. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: are focused now. In-person participant 1: are focused now. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: is aligning our view and aligning our goals and aligning our purpose, which I think that's the bigger impact that we both see, is that we both feel our purpose is to help others. In-person participant 1: is aligning our view and aligning our goals and aligning our purpose, which I think that's the bigger impact that we both see, is that we both feel our purpose is to help others. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Which is what inspired. In-person participant 1: Which is what inspired. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: the podcast and that's, that's what that's, that's why we're here. And that's, that's the whole purpose of, of why we feel we have something to give back. It's not even that, you know, we may not have anybody listen to us, but at least we feel like we're doing our part to spread the message of, of being able to help others in any capacity that we can. Yeah. Just what we've learned. Like, In-person participant 1: the podcast and that's, that's what that's, that's why we're here. And that's, that's the whole purpose of, of why we feel we have something to give back. It's not even that, you know, we may not have anybody listen to us, but at least we feel like we're doing our part to spread the message of, of being able to help others in any capacity that we can. Yeah. Just what we've learned. Like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We are not experts. We are not counselors. We are not perfect by any means possible at all. We have messed up. We have hurt each other. We have said awful things to each other at points. But the most important thing about it is that In-person participant 1: We are not experts. We are not counselors. We are not perfect by any means possible at all. We have messed up. We have hurt each other. We have said awful things to each other at points. But the most important thing about it is that JR and Dustie Rodriguez: how we came out of it, how we turned it around, how we got to where we are 20 years later in our marriage and where we're at. And how we were able to use communication to get here. Right, right. Because you always hear like communication is key and it's very cliche but it's also In-person participant 1: how we came out of it, how we turned it around, how we got to where we are 20 years later in our marriage and where we're at. And how we were able to use communication to get here. Because you always hear like communication is key and it's very cliche but it's also... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's true. Like how you communicate with your partner makes the biggest difference in your marriage. And I think for us, it was finally coming to that understanding of we both want the same thing. We're not, we're not trying. I'm not trying to prove my point anymore. Yes. And you're not trying to prove your point. And that's something that In-person participant 1: It's true. Like how you communicate with your partner makes the biggest difference in your marriage. And I think for us, it was finally coming to that understanding of we both want the same thing. We're not, we're not trying. I'm not trying to prove my point anymore. Yes. And you're not trying to prove your point. And that's something that JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We will also touch on in another episode is. In-person participant 1: We will also touch on in another episode is. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: me versus you and and you know how people usually fight like we're having an argument and it's like me versus you but then you come to through communication and and other things you come to learn that it's us In-person participant 1: me versus you and and you know how people usually fight like we're having an argument and it's like me versus you but then you come to through communication and and other things you come to learn that it's us JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's us versus the problem. It's not ⁓ JR versus Dustie. It's us versus ⁓ whatever the problem is or whatever the issue is. ⁓ And that could be ⁓ whatever you're going through. It could be whatever I'm going through, but it's always us versus that. And I think that is a lot. It's not something that people first go to when they're... ⁓ In-person participant 1: It's us versus the problem. It's not ⁓ JR versus Dustie. It's us versus ⁓ whatever the problem is or whatever the issue is. ⁓ And that could be ⁓ whatever you're going through. It could be whatever I'm going through, but it's always us versus that. And I think that is a lot. It's not something that people first go to when they're... ⁓ JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And a heated argument with their spouse or with even their friend or with anybody. I if you look at. I mean, at least the way I was raised, I can't speak for for what it was in your household, but. That's not. That's not how my parents communicated, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, my mom, she was very fiery and very, yeah, opinionated and. And my dad can be as well. In-person participant 1: And a heated argument with their spouse or with even their friend or with anybody. I if you look at. I mean, at least the way I was raised, I can't speak for for what it was in your household, but. That's not. That's not how my parents communicated, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, my mom, she was very fiery and very, yeah, opinionated and. And my dad can be as well. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: But I think that's pretty common in a lot of relationships in that. In-person participant 1: But I think that's pretty common in a lot of relationships in that. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Because and I you know, ⁓ even when we argue or whatever it's like you I still and I don't know about you But I still kind of have that in me where it's like but I want to get my point across or ⁓ I want you to understand how I feel like ⁓ and so I think a lot of that is like no I want to be right in a lot of relationships like I need to prove my point. I need to be right ⁓ just understand me ⁓ and this is where I go back to In-person participant 1: Because and I you know, even when we argue or whatever it's like you I steal and I don't know about you But I still kind of have that in me where it's like but I want to get my point across or I want you to understand how I feel like and so I think a lot of that is like no I want to be right in a lot of relationships like I need to prove my point. I need to be right just understand me and this is where I go back to JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Like a lot of the stuff that I have been learning over the past. In-person participant 1: like a lot of the stuff that I have been learning over the past. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You know, six, seven years. The. They call that ego, right? So your ego forces you to to get to have that right to have that. In-person participant 1: six, seven years. The, call that ego, right? So your ego forces you to, get, to have that right, to have that. I, I'm going to be right. I, you're going to understand my point of view because it's my point of view. And in this situation, it's the most important point of view, which JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I'm gonna be right. You're going to understand my point of view because it's my point of view and in this situation it's the most important point of view. Yes. Which I it's it's something that you're gonna fight forever right? So I I still have my instance where I feel it well up in my my cheeks. As soon as I get mad that's what happened. They get the flesh cheeks and but I have to check myself. In-person participant 1: It's it's something that you're gonna fight forever, right? So I I still have my instance where I feel it well up in my my cheeks this way soon as I get mad this would happen they get the flesh cheeks and But I have to check myself Real fast of like well, why do I need to be right? Yeah right, so it's It is not easy JR and Dustie Rodriguez: real fast of like, why do I need to be right? Yeah. Right. So it's it is not easy. And that's the one thing that I will will state is that it has not been an easy journey for us to get to 20 years at all. But. In-person participant 1: And that's the one thing that I will will state is that it has not been an easy journey for us to get to 20 years at all. But I would say where we are in our marriage today versus where we were 20 years ago, even five years ago, 10 years ago, I would go through all of it again to be where we are today. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think there's always going to be like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I would say where we are in our marriage today versus where we were 20 years ago, even five years ago, 10 years ago, I would go through all of it again to be where we are today. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think there's always going to be like, In-person participant 1: Oh, I wish we would have figured this out sooner or you know what I mean? But like I also just believe in like you're supposed to go through what You go through there's always a reason for JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Oh, I wish we would have figured this out sooner or you know what I mean? But like, I also just believe in like, you're supposed to go through what you go through. There's always a reason for. In-person participant 1: you know as dark as it can be or as frustrating or as Hard as it can be to learn those lessons It's like once you're on the other side of that, which I feel like we're on the other side of that JR and Dustie Rodriguez: you know, as dark as it can be or as frustrating or as hard as it can be to learn those lessons. It's like, once you're on the other side of that, which I feel like we're on the other side of that. I think it depends on the days. Well, I mean, not like specific topics, specific issues, but overall I feel like In-person participant 1: I think it depends on the days. Well, I mean, not like specific topics, specific issues, but overall, I feel like our communication 100 % we're over that. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think we've gotten to a point where we are extremely good communicators with each other. Yeah. I think we have. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: our communication 100 % we're over that. Yeah. I mean, I think, think we've gotten to a point where we are extremely good communicators with each other. Yeah. think we have managed to logically talk through situations that are highly emotional. Yeah. In-person participant 1: Managed to Logically talk through situations that are highly emotional JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And some of that has been through laying ground rules on the way we communicate in the situations, which we can get into that later. In-person participant 1: And some of that has been through laying ground rules on the way we communicate in the situations, which we can get into that later. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You know, there's a lot, there's a lot of complexities to just living with somebody for 20 years and to being around somebody for 20 years. But for us to have the relationship that we have today, think doesn't happen very. In-person participant 1: You know, there's a lot, there's a lot of complexities to just living with somebody for 20 years and to being around somebody for 20 years. But for us to have the relationship that we have today, think doesn't happen very. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Because I know there's a lot of people that that are together for a really long time, but I almost feel like and we got to that point at one point in our relationship where it's almost like you have a roommate. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're on autopilot. Right. Right. And you're just like, you take it's when you take it for granted that it's like, you can go about your day and do whatever and say whatever, but like, you're just like, yeah, I know. Like we know we love each other and that's it. You know, In-person participant 1: Because I know there's a lot of people that that are together for a really long time, but I almost feel like and we got to that point at one point in our relationship where it's almost like you have a roommate. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're on autopilot. Right. Right. And you're just like, you take it's when you take it for granted that it's like, you can go about your day and do whatever and say whatever, but like, you're just like, yeah, I know. Like we know we love each other and that's it. You know, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: But letting it go on autopilot is where I think it starts to invite. In-person participant 1: But letting it go on autopilot is where I think it starts to invite. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: all of the potential for arguments and you know what mean? It's just like I've always said, it's like a home, like a house. Like you're building the foundation, you're building the walls. If you do not take care of your home in 10 years, In-person participant 1: all of the potential for arguments and you know what mean? It's just like I've always said, it's like a home, like a house. Like you're building the foundation, you're building the walls. If you do not take care of your home in 10 years, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: What is it going to look like? Is it going to be able to provide you a roof over your head? Is it going to, you know what I mean? It's the same logic, I guess, for a marriage. Like you put in... In-person participant 1: What is it going to look like? Is it going to be able to provide you a roof over your head? Is it going to... You know what I mean? It's the same logic, I guess, for a marriage. Like you put in... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: the work every single day. And you have to. And you have to. And it's just like if you want to like, hey, I don't I want a big deck outside in the backyard of my house. I want it to look nice and look pretty. like you have to work at that. You know what I mean? Like what do you want your marriage to be? Do you want it to be on autopilot? Do you want to fight all the time? Do you want to be unsure of how your partner feels about you? Do you know there's so many different aspects In-person participant 1: the work every single day. And you have to. And you have to. And it's just like if you want to like, hey, I don't I want a big deck outside in the backyard of my house. I want it to look nice and look pretty. like you have to work at that. You know what I mean? Like what do you want your marriage to be? Do you want it to be on autopilot? Do you want to fight all the time? Do you want to be unsure of how your partner feels about you? Do you know there's so many different aspects in our marriage that we have had to figure out like What do we want out of it? How do you feel about it? How do I feel about it? What you know, what do you need for me? What do I need from you? There's so many different variables You know, and I think we've been blessed in the sense that a Lot of our goals have aligned for a majority of our relationship. Yeah JR and Dustie Rodriguez: in our marriage that we have had to figure out like What do we want out of it? How do you feel about it? How do I feel about it? What you know, what do you need for me? What do I need from you? There's so many different variables You know, and I think we've been blessed in the sense that a Lot of our goals have aligned for a majority of our relationship. Yeah Which I'm not going to discount that, right? That we were pretty lucky in finding somebody, another half that is along the same mentality and goals that you have. to your point, it's those situations where you don't agree. Those are the ones that get sticky and can get in the weeds and can get. In-person participant 1: Which I'm not going to discount that, right? That we were pretty lucky in finding somebody, another half that is along the same mentality and goals that you have. to your point, it's those situations where you don't agree. Those are the ones that get sticky and can get in the weeds and can get. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I mean, if you're not working at it and being honest and being open and, you know, to your point, having that communication out there. In-person participant 1: I mean, if you're not working at it and being honest and being open and, you know, to your point, having that communication out there. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It does get to a point where it just invites the dark. Regardless of what you're doing. It's really easy to just let that start to creep in to drown out some of the light. Which can be scary. mean, it's scary. And again, that's all stuff that we can talk about later. We've obviously had some some situations in our marriage where it got. In-person participant 1: It does get to a point where it just invites the dark. Regardless of what you're doing. It's really easy to just let that start to creep in to drown out some of the light. Which can be scary. mean, it's scary. And again, that's all stuff that we can talk about later. We've obviously had some some situations in our marriage where it got. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: pretty dark for a little bit. And not just independently, but with each other. So it's not, again, to your point, it's not that we're experts by any means. I don't consider myself an expert in much. In-person participant 1: pretty dark for a little bit. And not just independently, but with each other. So it's not, again, to your point, it's not that we're experts by any means. I don't consider myself an expert in much. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It really is just about sharing our point of view and seeing if anybody finds value and, and, get something out of it that helps them be better tomorrow. So at the end of the day, I mean, that's my goal is, is what did I do today to, to make myself better than I was yesterday? In-person participant 1: It really is just about sharing our point of view and seeing if anybody finds value and, and, get something out of it that helps them be better tomorrow. So at the end of the day, I mean, that's my goal is, is what did I do today to, to make myself better than I was yesterday? JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's those little incremental steps over time that show you the greatest benefit when you look back five years, 10 years, which I think we have done a really good job at is we've worked and worked and worked. And even when we did run into some obstacles, we worked harder and worked and worked and worked. And it's not. In-person participant 1: It's those little incremental steps over time that show you the greatest benefit when you look back five years, 10 years, which I think we have done a really good job at is we've worked and worked and worked. And even when we did run into some obstacles, we worked harder and worked and worked and worked. And it's not. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I mean, that's one of the things that I think it's discounted nowadays. People are real easy to just, I'm done. Yeah. I don't want to deal with this. Right. And yeah. And I mean, that's everybody's and that's, that's the prerogative of, of whoever and everybody has the right to, to feel how they want to feel. But the reality of it is, you know, you can't do it alone. No matter how hard you, you, you think you want to, or, or can, or, or In-person participant 1: I mean, that's one of the things that I think it's discounted nowadays. People are real easy to just, I'm done. Yeah. I don't want to deal with this. Right. And yeah. And I mean, that's everybody's and that's, that's the prerogative of, of whoever and everybody has the right to, to feel how they want to feel. But the reality of it is, you know, you can't do it alone. No matter how hard you, you, you think you want to, or, or can, or, or JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Aspire to to be alone It just doesn't work you have to have somebody and I'm not saying that necessarily has to be you know a partner or significant other but everybody needs somebody I'm just lucky enough to have found my best friend and my wife, right? So She's the one that I laugh with she's the one that I look forward to to telling my terrible day about In-person participant 1: Aspire to to be alone It just doesn't work you have to have somebody and I'm not saying that necessarily has to be you know a partner or significant other but everybody needs somebody I'm just lucky enough to have found my best friend and my wife, right? So She's the one that I laugh with she's the one that I look forward to to telling my terrible day about JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And my good days she is the one that that I look forward to just being with Yeah We just enjoy being right and we can just be and I don't have to be doing anything extravagant I can just be sitting on the couch Listening to whatever my girls are yapping about that day In-person participant 1: And my good days she is the one that that I look forward to just being with Yeah We just enjoy being right and we can just be and I don't have to be doing anything extravagant I can just be sitting on the couch Listening to whatever my girls are yapping about that day JR and Dustie Rodriguez: and be really content with life because I have my best friend with me and I know that she understands what we've been through, number one. In-person participant 1: and be really content with life because I have my best friend with me and I know that she understands what we've been through, number one. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: but knows who I am to my core. And that says a lot. In-person participant 1: but knows who I am to my core. And that says a lot. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And that's what I see in her, right? And we've talked about that too, is that you have your instances where you don't feel enough or worthy or... In-person participant 1: And that's what I see in her, right? And we've talked about that too, is that you have your instances where you don't feel enough or worthy or... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: which is very much where I was. In-person participant 1: which is very much where I was. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And still get, you know, from time to time. You still have your moments too. But I think that's the part where we are, we're carrying that light for each other. Right. In those moments where, like we always say to each other, like, In-person participant 1: And still get, you know, from time to time. You still have your moments too. But I think that's the part where we are, we're carrying that light for each other. Right. In those moments where, like we always say to each other, like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You need to view yourself from my eyes or my perspective. And I think we're always trying to do that for each other, especially when we have our dark moments, but when we're struggling to see, am I doing enough? Am I being enough? Those are the moments where it's like, you are, and this is why you are, and this is how you've been. In-person participant 1: You need to view yourself from my eyes or my perspective. And I think we're always trying to do that for each other, especially when we have our dark moments, but when we're struggling to see, am I doing enough? Am I being enough? Those are the moments where it's like, you are, and this is why you are, and this is how you've been. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: you know, though maybe today you didn't do this, this, this or this, but like, that's okay. That's not an expectation of you and like, you're still who you are and who you've always been. Well, I think that's what gets lost on both of us is that we higher expectations on ourselves. In-person participant 1: you know, even though maybe today you didn't do this, this, this or this, but like, that's okay. That's not an expectation of you and like, you're still who you are and who you've always been. Well, I think that's what gets lost on both of us is that we higher expectations on ourselves. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Like my expectations for you do not align with my expectations that I have of And same with the kids. I don't expect them to push as hard as I do or to work as hard as or any of that. Right. I just want them to be themselves, whatever that may be. In-person participant 1: Like my expectations for you do not align with my expectations that I have of And same with the kids. I don't expect them to push as hard as I do or to work as hard as or any of that. Right. I just want them to be themselves, whatever that may be. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: as long as it is bringing them some joy and light. I mean, the rest of it is all at the end of the day. It's you're not taking any of stuff with you. You're not. You know, I've recently read some some stuff about, know, most of the stuff that people think about right before they pass is not. In-person participant 1: as long as it is bringing them some joy and light. I mean, the rest of it is all at the end of the day. It's you're not taking any of stuff with you. You're not. You know, I've recently read some some stuff about, know, most of the stuff that people think about right before they pass is not. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: any of the things that they have. It's not any of the situations that they've been through. It's the people that they have in their life that, right, that they worry about and that they think about and the regrets that they have with not doing more with those people. Yeah. Time spent. So for me, it's, it's, it's that, right? It's being able to share that light. In-person participant 1: any of the things that they have. It's not any of the situations that they've been through. It's the people that they have in their life that, right, that they worry about and that they think about and the regrets that they have with not doing more with those people. Yeah. Time spent. So for me it's, it's, it's that, right? It's being able to share that light. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: and being a part of that light with you guys. In-person participant 1: and being a part of that light with you guys. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And the rest of it is his way. It's not anything that. In-person participant 1: And the rest of it is his way. It's not anything that. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I mean, I like having nice things and I like that we are where we are in life, but the most important thing to me is, how are you feeling today? How are you doing today? And vice versa. Of course, you know, like I love our house and the things that we've been able to have and do because of your job. like for me, it's like when you get home, it's like, In-person participant 1: I mean, I like having nice things and I like that we are where we are in life, but the most important thing to me is, how are you feeling today? How are you doing today? And vice versa. Of course, you know, like I love our house and the things that we've been able to have and do because of your job. like for me, it's like when you get home, it's like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: how was your day, like truly how was your day and how, you know, like what went on or how are you feeling about how you made an impact today or, cause I know that's important to you on how you impact other people, especially those that, you know, like your team at work and. In-person participant 1: how was your day, like truly how was your day and how, you know, like what went on or how are you feeling about how you made an impact today or, cause I know that's important to you on how you impact other people, especially those that, you know, like your team at work and. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Those are the most important things to me. Is that you're doing what you... Because I know your goals and I know who you are. So for me it's important just to be like, did you try to do that today? Did you accomplish anything regarding that today? And even if not, fine, but it kind of keeps you motivated a little bit. In-person participant 1: Those are the most important things to me. Is that you're doing what you... Because I know your goals and I know who you are. So for me it's important just to be like, did you try to do that today? Did you accomplish anything regarding that today? And even if not, fine, but it kind of keeps you motivated a little bit. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: because you do get frustrated I think at times are like unmotivated. I get discouraged. Yeah discouraged. Then it can be discouraging but I think it's the same thing with the kids like like we tell them all the time like you just do your best. If that's a B for today or C or In-person participant 1: because you do get frustrated I think at times are like unmotivated. I get discouraged. Yeah discouraged. Then it can be discouraging but I think it's the same thing with the kids like like we tell them all the time like you just do your best. If that's a B for today or C or JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You know, because there's so many variables to their day. There's things that they struggle with. There's, you know, so many different factors that kids deal with. think that people aren't aware of that. It's like nowadays they're bombarded with so much information, so much information. They're learning things, not even just in school, but just in, you know, all this media. There's a screen everywhere you go. There's so much. In-person participant 1: You know, because there's so many variables to their day. There's things that they struggle with. There's, you know, so many different factors that kids deal with. think that people aren't aware of that. It's like nowadays they're bombarded with so much information, so much information. They're learning things, not even just in school, but just in, you know, all this media. There's a screen everywhere you go. There's so much. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that they know about that. Like when I was my girls age, I was worried about riding a bike on it, right? You know what mean? Like I thought it was fun to go ride a bike at the cemetery, right? And it's not that I mean, it's just not that world anymore. It's not. And and I think that's what gets a lot. What does get lost a lot, especially when kids struggle is that. In-person participant 1: that they know about that. Like when I was my girls age, I was worried about riding a bike on it, right? You know what mean? Like I thought it was fun to go ride a bike at the cemetery, right? And it's not that I mean, it's just not that world anymore. It's not. And and I think that's what gets a lot. What does get lost a lot, especially when kids struggle is that. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: they do have an awful lot more going on than I think we did as kids. In-person participant 1: they do have an awful lot more going on than I think we did as kids. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that is a two-edged sword, right? There's a lot of positives that go with... In-person participant 1: that is a two-edged sword, right? There's a lot of positives that go with... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: having all the information that they have access to. But there's also a lot of negatives. And there is an awful lot more dark that they are exposed to because of it. Which is scary. I mean, we talk about all the time. It's not something that everyone, my girl's exposed to. In-person participant 1: having all the information that they have access to. But there's also a lot of negatives. And there is an awful lot more dark that they are exposed to because of it. Which is scary. I mean, we talk about all the time. It's not something that everyone, my girl's exposed to. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: At some point, I'm sure something will come along that we'll have to deal with. Yeah. But the most important thing for me is like check in. Yeah. In-person participant 1: At some point, I'm sure something will come along that we'll have to deal with. Yeah. But the most important thing for me is like check in. Yeah. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Like not how did you do at school and how'd you do on your tests? Like yeah, some of that's important, but for me it's more how was your day? Did you struggle at all? Like what was the struggle? Do we have anything we need to work through? And it's the same for you and it's the same for me. Like that's the most important thing in our family and our relationship and our, you know, because. In-person participant 1: Like not how did you do at school and how'd you do on your tests? Like yeah, some of that's important, but for me it's more how was your day? Did you struggle at all? Like what was the struggle? Do we have anything we need to work through? And it's the same for you and it's the same for me. Like that's the most important thing in our family and our relationship and our, you know, because. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: With that, anything that may come, especially the dark times, we know we're able to get through it. And we know that we're able to get our kids through what they need to or what they are struggling with. We hope. I mean, we've made it this far. We don't have teenagers yet. Right. All right. In-person participant 1: With that, anything that may come, especially the dark times, we know we're able to get through it. And we know that we're able to get our kids through what they need to or what they are struggling with. We hope. I mean, we've made it this far. We don't have teenagers yet. Right. All right. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Anyways, been a joy talking to Hopefully this first one was a little insightful and we hope to share more stories along the way and more insight. In-person participant 1: Anyways, it's been a joy talking to Hopefully this first one was a little insightful and we hope to share more stories along the way and more insight. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: just offer whatever we can. In-person participant 1: just offer whatever we can. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: in order to, again, help those that need it and find a way to make people better along the way. And just have conversations together. And that's the big one, I think. Again, I think it's lost that people don't converse the way they used to. It's really easy to just get stuck behind the scrolling monster. And I do. Yeah, it is. In-person participant 1: in order to, again, help those that need it and find a way to make people better along the way. And just have conversations together. And that's the big one, I think. Again, I think it's lost that people don't converse the way they used to. It's really easy to just get stuck behind the scrolling monster. And I do. Yeah, it is. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Although these days I don't have near as much time to do that. So I mean a lot of these may just also be us. I mean most of it's gonna be just us having conversations. That's the intent. There's just talk through some of the challenges we've faced and some of the insights we've gained from it, some of the lessons learned and you know 20 years is a long journey. In-person participant 1: Although these days I don't have near as much time to do that. So I mean a lot of these may just also be us. I mean most of it's gonna be just us having conversations. That's the intent. There's just talk through some of the challenges we've faced and some of the insights we've gained from it, some of the lessons learned and you know 20 years is a long journey. It is. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I don't know that I've done anything for 20 years. You've had me longer than my parents have. So I think we each episode we're going to close out with what we call a weekly reflection. That's going to be how we brought each other light this week. past week. This past week. One thing. In-person participant 1: I don't know that I've done anything for 20 years. You've had me longer than my parents have. So I think we each episode we're going to close out with what we call a weekly reflection. That's going to be how we brought each other light this week. past week. This past week. One thing. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that I've done for you and you've done for me that we have brought each other light. Okay. Let me think. In-person participant 1: that I've done for you and you've done for me that we have brought each other light. Okay. Let me think. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: There's gotta be one thing. So on. In-person participant 1: There's gotta be one thing. So on. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Tuesday or Wednesday morning? I don't remember which. In-person participant 1: Tuesday or Wednesday morning? I don't remember which. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's either Tuesday or Wednesday. That's a different, I guess. In-person participant 1: It's either Tuesday or Wednesday. That's a different, I guess. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I was frustrated. In-person participant 1: I was frustrated. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Sometimes I get into my little... In-person participant 1: Sometimes I get into my little... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: coexist with other people. In-person participant 1: coexist with other people. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I may have been filling you in on what was going on. In-person participant 1: I may have been filling you in on what was going on. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: I'm sure I was filling you in on what was going on Anyways, you. ⁓ In-person participant 1: I'm sure I was filling your animals with or not. Anyways, you. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: We're supposed to go to work that day. Right. So that's the day that your boss reached out to you. You were struggling a little bit, I think that day. In-person participant 1: We're supposed to go to work that day. Right. So that's the day that your boss reached out to you. You were struggling a little bit, I think that day. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: But even in all that turmoil and all that angst and uncertainty. In-person participant 1: But even in all that turmoil and all that angst and uncertainty. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You made the comment to me that... In-person participant 1: You made the comment to me that... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: You were a little bit anxious, but weren't going to let it bother you. In-person participant 1: You were a little bit anxious, but you're running a little pot. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: and In-person participant 1: and JR and Dustie Rodriguez: The reason that brought me light was... In-person participant 1: The reason that brought me light was... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Because for me, it's another example of. In-person participant 1: Because for me, it's another example of. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: how you consistently show up and face your fears. In-person participant 1: how you consistently show up and face your fears. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And even when things get really dark for you, which that may have not been the case in this situation, but, In-person participant 1: And even when things get really dark for you, which that may have not been the case in this situation, but, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It provides me light because it's inspirational for me to see In-person participant 1: It provides me light because it's inspirational for me to see. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: how you don't, you don't succumb to your fear. You face it. In-person participant 1: how you don't succumb to your fear. You face it. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Which that's probably something that I don't tell you very often, but. In-person participant 1: Which that's probably something that I don't tell you very often, but. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: in every one of those instances, particularly, mean, specifically this past week, based on all the circumstances and everything, I thought it was gonna be a rough week. I mean, you took it like a champ. that to me, mean, that to me, again, inspires me, it motivates me, it makes me... In-person participant 1: in every one of those instances, particularly, mean, specifically this past week, based on all the circumstances and everything, I thought it was gonna be a rough week. I mean, you took it like a champ. that to me, mean, that to me, again, it inspires me, it motivates me, it makes me... JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Want to go out there and do the things that are scary for me? Yeah, because you do it daily So that's mine for the week In-person participant 1: Want to go out there and do the things that are scary for me? Yeah, because you do it So that's mine for the week. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that I can really pinpoint as one that. In-person participant 1: that I can really pinpoint as one that. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: that again, I tell you all the time that I don't, think at this point you think I'm just saying it to make you feel good, but you really, you really do inspire me. do believe it. I do. In-person participant 1: that again, tell you all the time that I don't, think at this point you think I'm just saying it to make you feel good, but you really, you really do inspire me. do believe it. I do. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: to be. In-person participant 1: to be. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: a better person daily. So. That's what we should be for each other, Right. In-person participant 1: a better person daily. So. That's what we should be for each other, Right. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Mine was probably, well mine not probably, it was the same day. Because I did wake up pretty anxious that morning. But. In-person participant 1: Mine was probably, well mine not probably, it was the same day. Because I did wake up pretty anxious that morning. But. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: you were out in the gym and then you were like, okay, I'll do it later. And then you just came in and laid with me for that hour instead of doing your workout, which I know your workout is important to you to like get your day started and get motivated. And so that was important to me because you recognize like what I needed in the moment. In-person participant 1: you were out in the gym and then you were like, okay, I'll do it later. And then you just came in and laid with me for that hour instead of doing your workout, which I know your workout is important to you to like get your day started and get motivated. And so that was important to me because you recognize like what I needed in the moment. and JR and Dustie Rodriguez: And In-person participant 1: it makes me emotional because and not like I want to say like in a bad way but like we have not always been there in our marriage no no and then we're you know like JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It makes me emotional because... And not like, I want to say like in a bad way, but like we have not always been there in our marriage. No, no. And then we're, you know, like... That's not something that you would have done ⁓ 10 years ago. ⁓ You know what mean? Well, and not because you maybe you didn't want to, but because ⁓ you didn't know or you weren't. We weren't on that level with each other where it was like, ⁓ I recognize it. I see it. I, this is what she needs or this is what he needs and ⁓ you can act on it, you know? ⁓ So that was probably my light for the week because it's like, In-person participant 1: That's not something that you would have done 10 years ago. You know what mean? Well, and not because you maybe you didn't want to, but because you didn't know or you weren't. We weren't on that level with each other where it was like, I recognize it. I see it. I, this is what she needs or this is what he needs and you can act on it, you know? So that was probably my life for the week because it's like, JR and Dustie Rodriguez: Just some reassurance of like, we're there. You know, like, I can see that in you, you can see it in me, and we can just be that for each other instead of like, doing it alone. Right. Right. Or, you know, like, for me, if I would have had to do that alone all day, I couldn't have been that. In-person participant 1: Just some reassurance of like, we're there. You know, like, I can see that in you, you can see it in me, and we can just be that for each other instead of like, doing it alone. Right. Right. Or, you know, like, for me, if I would have had to do that alone all day, I couldn't have been that. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: for you later on in that same day. Like I would not have been in that head space. So I feel like we're just in that place where it's like we can be that and kind of bounce off each other. And that's what the ultimate goal is, right? At the end of the day, it's being able to marriage. I don't care what anybody tells you. Marriage is not 50 50. No, it's varies by the day. Right, right. Some days I need In-person participant 1: for you later on in that same day. Like I would not have been in that head space. So I feel like we're just in that place where it's like we can be that and kind of bounce off each other. And that's what the ultimate goal is, right? At the end of the day, it's being able to marriage. I don't care what anybody tells you. Marriage is not 50 50. No, it's varies by the day. Right, right. Some days I need JR and Dustie Rodriguez: To be 80 or 90 and that's okay. Yeah, because there's gonna be situations where she's gonna be 80 or 90 And that's just what it is. I mean that's what you need to be for each other. I feel like I mean if you truly If you truly value Your marriage and you truly value the person that you have made that commitment to In-person participant 1: To be 80 or 90 and that's okay. Yeah, because there's gonna be situations where she's gonna be 80 or 90 And that's just what it is. I mean that's what you need to be for each other. I feel like I mean if you truly If you truly value Your marriage and you truly value the person that you have made that commitment to JR and Dustie Rodriguez: then yeah, that's the way it needs to be. And sometimes it may even be a full 100%, and we've had those moments too. We have had those moments. In-person participant 1: then yeah, that's the way it needs to be. And sometimes it may even be a full 100%, and we've had those moments too. We have had those moments. JR and Dustie Rodriguez: It's worth every minute on the other side of it. It is. again, thank you all for listening to the first one. joining us. And we'll see, yeah, we'll see you on the next one. In-person participant 1: It's worth every minute on the other side of it. It is. again, thank you all for listening to the first one. joining us. And we'll see, yeah, we'll see you on the next one.