Latest / Jess Ask / Navigating Work-Life Harmony and Career Stress | FT Sierra Hillsman | EP55

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Navigating Work-Life Harmony and Career Stress | FT Sierra Hillsman | EP55 · Jess Ask

0:07
Yo, it's your girl Jessica as Smith, and you already know that you've
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entered the safe space for influencers to decompress, have fun, and just as
0:18
you already know what it is, and then you know it's about to get
0:21
real, So be sure to show your girl the love and like come in
0:26
and to scrape God for another day. Hey, hey, I know we
0:32
could be another way, yo, yo, yo, is your girl Jessica
0:39
at Smith and I am super excited about today's episode, but I have to
0:46
tell y'all way, y'all entered. You have entered the safe space where influencers
0:51
get to decompress half on and just as I'm super excited, that's all right,
0:57
y'all might not can hear her, But I'm a singer song because y'all
1:00
like when I sing this song desil Ray, desil Ray, dees Alray,
1:03
that's alrighty, that's already, that's already, that's already alight. Get that
1:07
how yes we love deesil Ray does al Ray is not gonna be on the
1:14
mic today, and y'all already know how I feel about it. But you
1:18
know, the technology one day is gonna technology and we are doing something different
1:23
today. Y'all, if you've been watching us, we have always done in
1:27
person interviews. But listen, the woman of God that is here on today,
1:34
that is Grace in our presence today during our mental health awareness series.
1:41
She she was worth it, she was worth the change, she was worth
1:45
the stretching. And I know that what she's gonna bring us today is gonna
1:49
be amazing. We have none other than the wonderful Sierra Heelsman. Hey,
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y'all, Oh man, that was a beautiful introduction. I'm glory to God
2:04
for im. Glory to God. You ma'am. Let me tell you you
2:07
are it? Okay, you are it. And so if I've been allowing
2:15
the mental health professionals to properly introduce themselves, because you know, we got
2:20
to have a bougie moment in the series or the episode. So this is
2:24
the bougie moment that we have. Yeah, that's hilarious. Hi everyone,
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my name is Sierra Hillsman. I'm a license psychotherapist. I'm licensed in both
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the states of Georgia and Maryland. I am the owner of Legacy Speaks and
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also the owner of one three well It's Collective. My specialties include life transitions,
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work life harmony. My passion is the working professional, So individuals who
2:50
find themselves stressed out at work, trying to figure out how do I navigate
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my personal life as I grow, So helping individuals overcome choristra so that they
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can amplify their success. I do coaching also the training and development, and
3:05
you know ministry. I love God. I'm a woman who loves God.
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And you know, we talked about this before. It doesn't always have to
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be so deep. We appreciate the revelation, but I love equipping people with
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the practical things of God. So yeah, most definitely. And you you're
3:23
very practical, even in like just looking at well, if someone was to
3:29
just look at your platform and just take a moment, those many reels do
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a lot like your many reels hit like it's like hold on, let me,
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let me pause. I gotta rewind it because she didn't. She didn't
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hit me with one or two, and it kind of almost knocked me out.
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So I am super excited to have you here because I got some questions.
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I got questions for me and hoping hopefully the people. But if y'all
3:53
can tell we're twining unapolitically promotion listen. Fun fact, y'all. I've had
4:01
this shirt things. I think it was eighteen, twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen.
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If everybody asked me about this, this sweatshirt, and to have you
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all here for me is very a god full circle moment because I gotta thank
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you for just being so positive and thank you for living this out loud,
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like living Legacy speaks out loud, because in a time where I got this,
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I was not okay, like I got this sweatshirt. I saw it
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all LaToya. I saw it on her and I was like, hey,
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where did you get that from? She sent me the website. Okay,
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she sent me the website and I sow like, I said, you know
4:50
what, I'm I'm gonna get this. And this has been like this is
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one of my favorite you can see the other episodes too, like this is
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one of my favorite shirts. Love this sweatshirt and people say, oh yeah,
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therapy is dope, and it's such a great reminder that we have an
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opportunity to look at therapy differently. What inspired this shirt? And then I
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also want to know what inspired the name Legacy Speaks because that is so beautiful.
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Yeah, absolutely so. The inspiration for the shirt. So a little
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bit about like my background. I moved here in twenty fourteen to work in
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the entertainment industry, So y'all, by the grace of God, it literally
5:34
is a God story. I had no plans on becoming a therapist, really,
5:41
and then when I first moved here, I noticed the importance of mental
5:45
health within the Black community, especially amatch. My family had a family member
5:47
who was dealing with severe depression, dealing with suicidality and homicidality. Had another
5:54
family member who was like mourning the loss of their son and was just like
5:59
really really struggling with depression. And so for me, it's just like it's
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very difficult for individuals to navigate, especially within the Black community, to even
6:06
consider their mental health when they're too busy trying to survive, living from paycheck
6:12
to paycheck, and so wanting to impley amplify the importance of mental health,
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I entered into my clinical metal counseling program in twenty fifteen with the intentions on
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gaining the information so that I can go out into communities and to teach that
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information. I had no plans on becoming a therapist, but by the time
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I finished my program and walked through my program and started therapy for myself.
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I recognize the need of other black clinicians, especially black female therapists as well.
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I know Oftentizer're like we are all the black therapists. We're either booked
6:45
and busy or we're still trying to get our own stuff. And so it's
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important for us to not only gain the information but also train the next generation
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of black therapists as well, because there's such a need within our community.
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So wanting to normalize the stigmatized mental health within our communities, wanting to say
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that it is okay to not be okay, it's okay. You don't have
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to sit up here and feel like you're less than or insignificant or that there's
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an issue because you are literally seeking professional help. Yes you have your family,
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Yes you have your church community, Yes you have your friends, but
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you really want to find somebody who's non biased, non judgmental, somebody who's
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really going to care for you from a clinical perspective and a holistic perspective as
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well. Now, in terms of the name Legacy Speaks, I just really
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always had a passion about legacy, Like what type of legacy are you going
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to leave? What are people going to say about you? What is your
7:41
impact? And I came across this quote by Oprah based on a conversation that
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she had with doctor Maya Angelo and just a paraphrase a quote essentially, doctor
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Maya Angelou is like, you know, legacy is not about you know what
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you do, It's about how you made people feel. Because oftentimes some individuals
8:01
may not fully remember those moments, but they can remember how they felt when
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they encountered you. And so I just want my legacy to be someone who's
8:11
reliable, somebody who helped to transform people. Whether I'm sowing the seed,
8:16
watering it. We understand that God's going to get the harvest, God's going
8:20
to get the glory. But I always just want to make sure that any
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person that I encounter, they know that they are seen and that they are
8:26
heard, and that they are loved. So that is my legacy. And
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I always ask this to even always my podcast. What do you want your
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legacy to say about you? Yes we have achievements, Yes we have accomplishments,
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But at the end of the day, what do you want your legacy
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to say about you? So legacy speaks Girl I promise you. When you
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ask that question, shells went down my leg like literally, because I think
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sometimes we can live so much for what's going on in the now that we
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don't give our opportunity, our future, the opportunity to breathe into our present,
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Like we don't give our future opportunity to say, Hey, this is
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this is where I see you, this is what you want. I want
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to speak into that, I want to be this out of that, And
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so Legacy speaks basically tell me that my future is speaking like I get to
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connect to who I'm becoming. I'm getting to connect to my future future self,
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whether that is a mother, whether that's a wife, whether that and
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am I going to be whold enough to manage those things? That's what I
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hear when you when you just say that, And I appreciate you even saying
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that too, because that's something that I always encourage clients to think about.
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Right I think there is it's very hard for individuals to walk in their purpose,
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especially if you don't have a connection to the future self. What I
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find is, especially with anxiety, this is the fear of the future,
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the fear of the loss of control of the future, like there's a lot
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of stress that comes around the uncertainty of a thing. But when we build
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a healthy connection with our future self, like you also need to have a
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healthy relationship with your present and your past self as well. So challenging that
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regret, challenging that guilt, challenging that shame, being fully present in the
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moment with your gift, talents, capabilities, and understanding that your present circumstances
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these are all temporal. You know, it doesn't compare to the glory that
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is yet to be revealed. But having that future or having that healthy relationship
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with your futures standing on the promises of God, what does the Lord say
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about you? Like, even if you don't see it right now, you
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know, just understand that, like God already has a word over your life.
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He's already spoken into existence. Now are you gonna listen to it,
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standing it, be in agreement with it, and then walk into it so
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that like anytime you counter another person, you're still it's all speaking. Every
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aspect of your life is speaking. And so we just have to remember that.
10:54
That's so, that is so good. You just said something and I
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want you to expound on it. You said to challenge basically the negative thoughts
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slash emotions like regret. What does that look like? How do you encourage
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people to challenge that part? Yeah, so there's so many different ways we
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could take it from a place of from a clinical perspective, and excuse me,
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y'all, I'm really big on the practical, but I also like to
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make sure that people know have language for what it is. So we can
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take it from a cognitive behavioral therapy perspective where we're literally catching the thought,
11:31
checking the validity of that thought, meaning, you know, is this thought
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even relevant, how true is it? Is it coming from within, is
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it coming externally? And then changing that thought to something that's more positive and
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solution focused. So when we're thinking about positivity, not just talk the slapping
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on toxic positivity of like everything's gonna be all right, you know, acknowledge
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it the thing for what it is, and then I'll figure out how can
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we redirect it in a way that's going to get you closer to your goal.
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So we could take it from the CBT perspective now in terms of challenging
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things like guilt and shame and all of those things. Understand that the past
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is the past, we can't go back and change it. Leveraging the gift
12:11
of radical acceptance is going to be so important. When we think about radical
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acceptance, we're not saying that we are in agreement with what happened. We're
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saying that this thing is what it is. Now. How can we find
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meaning in that situation? How can we leverage it so that we can continue
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to move forward, because all it is is just building blocks. All it
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is is just building the next house. If we got to tear some things
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up to create a firm foundation, let's do that. But you didn't go
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through what you went through just so that you can repeat the cycle. You
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went through what you went through so that you can gain something from it and
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learn how to move forward in a way that's going to be pleasing to you,
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pleasing to your community, and also pleasing to God. Listen, I
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really that deserate headline right now because her brain works so beautifully, because you
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got it. Both of us like, man, this is so good.
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So why do you why do you think that people choose the cycle over the
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breaking? Yeah, that's really good. I like that. So we're gonna
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go with choice one. They may be repeating the cycle because they may not
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have the language for what they're experiencing, right, So that's one. Two,
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they may not necessarily have the skills or the resources to be able to
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break the cycle. One thing that I always consider is like exposure, You
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don't know that you're living in a cycle until you're exposed to something different.
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And so you have if this is all that you know and the people that
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are around you are still literally repeating the same cycles. If you have caregivers
13:58
and parents still feeding into the same things, you're going to normalize it until
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it's until you get exposed to something different. Now, for those who are
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exposed to something different and they actively choose to stay in those cycles, then
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we got to think about, Okay, what fears are keeping you from from
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challenging these cycles? Or is it the fear of failure, the fear of
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success, is it the fear of rejection? Is it the fear of uncertainty?
14:28
Because we fall in love with what's familiar, you know, like I
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would rather stick with the devil that I know in comparison to me like betting
14:35
on myself, you know. So we got to like kind of pull back
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the layers because that question is so good. But it's so multi dimensional and
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it's not always cookie cutter. And then also too is individuals will love change.
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I say this all the time. Everybody loves change until it becomes inconvenient,
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right listen. So we will want change, we want something different,
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But how much work has to be put in, how much time and dedication
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and effort. How long can we stay consistent? Because change requires consistency for
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us to go from one place mentally and emotionally, it requires consistency. Even
15:18
with individuals with therapy, as I onboard them, I ask them, you
15:22
know, how committed are you to this process? Because it's not going to
15:24
be overnight. And I often find that individuals come to therapy for one thing
15:30
and then as they literally are working through, they realize something else comes up,
15:33
and so you may not be ready to, you know, go to
15:37
that something else. But we really have to consider, like if we're going
15:41
to break these cycles, and we call ourselves generational curse breakers, there's a
15:45
commitment to that thing that's so good. Seek Sierra lifting you like it as
15:54
this a virtual woman of God because I could throw something edgy right now.
15:58
So you went okay. You basically told us okay. Basically the first group
16:03
two cents of people, it's like, is it we have to really question,
16:07
like is it really a choice for them because the knowledge isn't there,
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So it's like they don't have the resources nor the awareness that there is a
16:15
cycle that's happened. But now for the people that know that there's a cycle,
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now there's a fear that's attached to breaking the cycle because we've become familiar
16:25
and comfortable with what we know and we haven't challenged ourselves to to explore outside
16:34
of those realms. Listen, this, this is so good. Something keeps
16:40
coming up. I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you, ask you this because there
16:44
there's a transition from the individual and your your your your specialty is the workplace,
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right And I really have a heart for people that are like in the
16:55
workplace because you know, I'm still Anne of Fiber currently. I've adjusted some
17:00
things to be able to do a podcast and stuff a little bit more,
17:04
but I'm still not a fire. But when I was like in the grutz
17:07
of it, like selling and stuff like that. Employers, you know,
17:11
they talk about mental health awareness, they say these are a part of the
17:15
benefits, but you know, how are we actively gauging that employees. And
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what are some things that you teach employers because you you do do seminars for
17:27
the employers, right, what are some things that you teach them to be
17:32
able to notify and encourage their employees to live a holistic life. Yeah,
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absolutely, so, first things first, anytime I'm getting ready to start a
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contract with an employer, I ask them what is the current state of the
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company or maybe even the culture of not just the company, or maybe even
17:49
the department, Because the organization is an organism within itself, you know,
17:53
kind of look at it like a house. Yes, you have like the
17:56
overall corporations visions, goals and values and all that jazz. But somewhere along
18:03
the line, if not everybody's bought into it, you got leaders who start
18:06
to do their own and you have to make sure that you're not only speaking
18:11
to the organization, but also the particular department that I was hired for.
18:15
Sometimes I'm not able to speak to the entire organization. Sometimes I get pulled
18:21
to speak to human resources, or maybe I get pulled to speak to like
18:23
the black ergs or whatever the case may be. So one I just ask
18:29
you, hey, what are the current needs of your department organization? What
18:33
is the culture of the company. What is the culture of the department?
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Because work culture is so important. Culture is not just the vision and values
18:42
and the mission, but also like how are you treating one another? Is
18:45
it emotionally psychologically? Say do you guys implement boundaries? Do you respect boundaries?
18:49
Like what are the current needs of the people? And so also when
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we're talking to leadership, hey, where you at personally with your mental journey,
18:59
Because if you're not valuing it, if you don't see the benefits yourself,
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you just see that this is something that's trendy self care blah blah blah
19:06
blah blah, then it's hard for you as a leader to be able to
19:10
teach something that you truly don't believe in with passion and vigor. It's going
19:15
to be difficult for you to make sure or empower somebody to do something that
19:18
you're not doing yourself. So checking to see where they're at and how they
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practically do this, and why do you want this. Is this a one
19:25
off thing just so that you can check it off, or is this something
19:29
that you truly believe in and you want to see actual change? Within your
19:33
people because everything that you talked about engagement, it all, could it all,
19:38
It all impacts a person's a company's retention, It all impacts a person's
19:44
decision to want to stick and stay. We found this even with the great
19:48
resignation that took place within the pandemic, a lot of people were leaving not
19:52
because they didn't enjoy their jobs, but because of the people that they were
19:56
working under. So you have to have healthy leader and not only healthy leadership
20:02
that is going to be like information orders, but healthy leadership that's going to
20:04
help support the team, like healthy leader leadership that have hearts of servant leaders
20:12
you you said on the mouthful, Oh can you can you hear desert rays?
20:17
I think I can listen. Early, I was going to say this
20:19
earlier. You were talking so good, she's looking got her it was working,
20:26
But come be good, because it really makes me think about I've had
20:30
even though I've been a full time entrepreneur since twenty fifteen, but I've worked
20:33
for maybe like three kind of corporations, right, And in my mind even
20:38
back then, I didn't necessarily have language, but I was just like,
20:42
why wouldn't whoever's at the top of this company want to make sure that their
20:48
employees are happy, that their whole Because to me, when you're when you're
20:52
being a when your employees are happy, they come to work happy, and
20:55
they want to stay, they want to continue to do the job. That
20:56
means your money keep flowing, you don't have to keep waste using your resources
21:00
for hiring and things of that nature. And I was just like, that
21:03
don't make sense to be like, it just don't make sense to run a
21:07
company and have people to work for you and you not care about their their
21:11
mental state, You not care about you know, their their full well being.
21:15
Because I'm like, if they're working for me, I want to keep
21:18
them happy, if they making my money. But you know what some people
21:21
when we when we get so caught up in the now. That's why I
21:25
love the whole legacy to speaks thing because if I'm legacy focused, that I
21:29
have balanced enough to understand that what I do now affects my impacts my legacy,
21:33
and therefore the people that are connected to me now that they need to
21:37
be well rounded. And so I think that that there's an opportunity and you
21:42
can speak on this as well here that there's an opportunity for leaders to have
21:48
leader vision, Like I thieve that there is there's something that is maybe I
21:55
was about to say wrong, but the better word is maybe there's an opportunity
22:02
to teach people how to see beyond. Is that something that you you offer?
22:06
How would that look like in a healing a healing scenario for a leader.
22:11
Yeah, absolutely so one on one coaching, making sure that they're professionally
22:15
developed as well. Ultimately, what you talked about is like teaching the leader
22:21
to see beyond. So like the CEO mentality of it all right, I
22:25
think also we have to consider what are the plans and goals of the leaders
22:30
of the organization, because if they're trying to build a business with the goal
22:33
to sell the business, they don't care if they are the try if they
22:41
have whether they're a publicly traded company or maybe even if they're like they're private.
22:45
You often have to consider that what are their stakeholders saying, what are
22:49
their shareholders saying. We have to consider all of those different factors. Does
22:55
the owner of the company actually own the company one hundred percent? That's the
22:59
other thing considered too, because when you got other people taking pieces of the
23:02
pie, they don't make full decisions. Sometimes they're rolled by the almighty dollar.
23:07
So we got to consider that too. But for the middle managers,
23:11
the directors, the vps and stuff like that, that's where we can find
23:17
change happen. Yes, regardless of what's happening at the top, we hear
23:19
that or whatever the case may be. But if you're stuck in the middle,
23:22
you have the opportunity to take what's above translated in a way that helps
23:27
to serve the people that are directly reporting to you. And you can also
23:32
be a listening ear as you're training in developing these people that are under you
23:37
to help push up the needs of the change. Now, is it always
23:40
going to work? It is always going to like jive together, not necessarily,
23:44
but giving yourself the opportunity to live in the boss and as a leader
23:48
rather than feeling like it's have to be black or whiter either or that's so
23:53
good. What I'm thinking about now is even with something Deli Ray just said
23:57
is about the entrepreneur. And so there's one thing of being the employee,
24:03
but then sometimes the employee becomes the employer. What are the stuff that they
24:08
need to make in that transition to make sure they don't become what they have
24:14
they did not like in their corporation that they were before there in before I'm
24:18
sorry absolutely. Now with you being the working professional, make sure that you're
24:26
implementing strong, healthy habits now because we understand as entrepreneurs, we're working more
24:33
than the forty hour week. We're busting like sixty seven eighty hours a week
24:38
because we're dedicated to this vision that God has given us. So one before
24:42
all else, make sure that you are submitting your heart to the plans of
24:47
God. You understand that many other plans of man, but the plans of
24:49
God prevail. If you want to pull out an outcast line, you know,
24:53
you can plan a pretty picnic, but you can't predict the weather.
24:56
So to make sure that you have a good plan, and then like also
25:02
to create a vision for the ideal self. What do you want your entrepreneurship
25:07
journey to look like? What do you want your business to look like?
25:11
And then like practically look at that thing and then be honest with yourself.
25:15
I know we talked about radical acceptance, but we also got to talk about
25:18
relentless honesty because sometimes we can be a little delulu, you know, so
25:25
I appreciate the folk that are optimistic, but we also need to consider all
25:30
the different things that could potentially happen. So as you're creating this plan,
25:34
please be relentlessly honest with yourself. Are you in a place to fully commit
25:40
to entrepreneurship? Do we need to not jump into full time entrepreneurship? Can
25:44
we segue this thing part time? Can we make sure that we know what
25:49
resources are available? Who's within my tribe? Like? Who can I lean
25:55
on when this thing gets rough? Do I have a church community? Do
25:57
I have healthy friends who will pour into me and have reciprocal relationships? If
26:04
I'm a parent, will do I have family who can assist when I can't
26:10
pick up my kids on time? You know who is that? Instrumental and
26:12
emotional support? The reason why I like to go into that too. When
26:17
we're talking about social support, there's two types. Instrumental means these individuals who
26:21
help us from a practical, tangible space. When I can't do something,
26:25
will you be able to step in for me? Or if I say that
26:26
I'm going through something, will you be able to have the emotional intelligence to
26:30
step in so that can look like okay, if I'm having a sick day,
26:36
will somebody like door dash you some chicken noodle soup, Or if you
26:40
are too busy trying to box up product for a client, will somebody be
26:44
able to take the kids out to a park and assist there. You have
26:48
emotional support. These are individuals who will provide a listening ear your presence is
26:52
a gift. They'll give you a hug, all that jazz. So there
26:56
are so many different things to consider as you're transitioning from becoming a our full
27:00
time individual to like entrepreneurship. Don't feel like you got to jump the gun
27:06
overnight. If depending on your lifestyle and the goals that you have, see
27:10
if you can break this thing down and phase this you you're talking so good.
27:15
I got like five questions at the same time, like but Sarah,
27:19
like I'm so s trying to tell us, like, okay, calm your
27:22
brain down. By'm like I got a lot going on. Time your brain
27:27
out. Because when we talk about this topic, like you said, you
27:30
can go so far into it. But something I think that you said that
27:33
was so important. It was about the two the two different supports. So
27:36
you said emotional support and instrumental support. Instrumental support. So when you think
27:44
about emotional support and instrumental support, instrumental support, I'm gonna talk about me
27:48
because I know I got probably a lot of means that listen to this podcast
27:52
that they might help somebody. So with me, I have had to learn
28:00
the reception of support. How do we not think you talked about this before?
28:07
I think I was looking at something you might have something about this about.
28:11
Actually it was on one of your reels about feeling guilty about certain things.
28:15
I think your specific one that he was talking about without saying feeling guilty
28:19
about saying no? What about the guilt about reaching out for help? What
28:22
do I do that's really good? So one dismantled the idea that you're a
28:30
burden. I think a lot of people don't reach out for help because they
28:37
feel like they are a burden. And I hear this a lot. Well,
28:41
everybody got their own stuff going on, They're going through something, and
28:45
it's like we are all going through something collectively. But there are people that
28:49
God has specifically appointed in your life who truly care about you. So they
28:53
may not be able to drop everything within an instant, but if you give
28:56
them enough time, they can make the necessary adjusts to meet your needs.
29:00
And so what's the worst that can happen if you just simply ask for help.
29:06
Yes, granted, you're probably trying to defend yourself from the embarrassment of
29:08
basking for help and not receive it. You're probably trying to protect yourself from
29:12
the rejection of asking for help and not receive it. And so if anybody
29:18
is dealing with that, I definitely encourage you, Like what are you trying
29:21
to protect yourself from by not asking for help? That's it. Take that
29:26
muscle off your mouth and ask for help, you know. So why did
29:30
you just come on my neck? Like I was like, hold up,
29:33
way, this is not a session she did when she especially, she had
29:38
a trigger when she said burden, right, And so my thought was because
29:44
that was my conversation to myself the reason why I went so hard independently,
29:49
It's like, I don't want to, you know, bother anybody, and
29:52
I don't want to be a burden to my mother. Right. But God
29:56
told me one day, he said, who told you that? Like,
30:00
where did that come from? Like my mom's never said you were a burden
30:03
to me? Like that's not never anything that I heard, but in my
30:06
mind, I watched and work so hard, you know, to raise me
30:08
and to make sure I was provided for and that as I got on my
30:11
own, it's like, oh, I don't want to be a burden.
30:14
She never said that, you know what I'm saying, But it's like that
30:17
mindset is. I think that that's the thing that we have to work.
30:21
I speak to myself. I know we all kind of you an't still working
30:26
through and as I'm you know, just learning to receive the help because you
30:30
know, uh, you know, sometimes there's still a little struggle. I'm
30:34
just learning that, like you said, there are people there that God has
30:37
already placed there to be your destiny helpers if we just kind of surrender to
30:42
the receiving of the help. So sore. Now I'm like, now I'm
30:47
coock curious. It's like, okay, so now we identify the hindrance,
30:51
So how do I identify the need for that I need help? Because to
30:56
talk to some independent I saw that you you know, if you special,
31:00
you target black women, and I think it's Latins or Latino as a Latino
31:03
population. Yeaheah, so me as a black woman, right, I I'm
31:11
okay, I'm trying to practice ask for help. But how do I know
31:14
what I need help in when I'm always carrying it? You know what I'm
31:17
saying, Like, how do I know what to be able to hand over
31:21
or say come, come in and get this? Like how do I identify
31:25
it? Yeah? Absolutely, And that's so good because I think oftentimes we
31:29
can talk ourselves out of asking for her, or maybe we're not We're not
31:33
considering that we do actually need help. I remember one of my current leaders,
31:37
he's a executive pastor at our church, and he says that you know
31:42
you've taken on too much in your plate when you things begin to start dropping.
31:48
So I would like to encourage people to start looking at what are some
31:52
areas that aren't one hundred percent? What are you forgetting? What are you
31:56
overlooking? What are some blind spots that you don't necessarily see? I think
32:00
also to asking for wise council, so the people that work around you in
32:06
close proximity, say hey, what are some things that I'm falling up short
32:09
at? Can you be honest with me? And that way I can make
32:13
the necessary changes. Also too, as an entrepreneur, you know, especially
32:17
as a solopreneur, we have a tendency of wearing all these different hats going
32:22
back to that plan that you designed for yourself, and we understand that with
32:27
any plan there needs to also be like metrics, So date timelines. Have
32:32
we met these goals just quite yet? If we haven't, then who do
32:36
we need to start pulling in so that we can be able to make sure
32:38
that we are reaching the goal? So just start their First off, what
32:43
are you overlooking? What are you forgetting about? What are areas that you
32:47
are coming up short in? Secondly, asking for wise counsel because somebody is
32:52
able to see you from the outside, looking in and thoroughly looking at your
32:58
plan that you set for yourself. Have you met the mark quite yet?
33:00
No? Okay, who do we need to start pulling in? Or what
33:04
resources can be automated if necessary? That that is? That is so good?
33:12
I would say I don't care if y'all podcasts people mad, because I
33:15
keep saying it is good. It's hitting me first. Okay, it's hitting
33:22
me first. So you keep talking about a plan and I saw something where
33:25
you offered, Uh, I think a wellness plan is what it is?
33:30
Can you talk about that? And why? What? What is it?
33:34
And why is it important? Yeah, so Reviving Thrive stress mastery program.
33:38
But then I also do Reviving Thrive like one on one wellness plan. So
33:43
essentially, we sit down, we talk about your goals for wellness, and
33:47
then we also talk about one of those particular goals, and then we strategize
33:52
create a strategy plan around that. That can look like looking at your relationship
33:55
with time, that can look like your current relationships, that can look like
34:00
where do you want to be in your career or but also where do you
34:02
want to be within your family. So we're gonna sit down and strategize,
34:07
and then it's your responsibility to walk that thing out. Now. If you're
34:12
like, hey, we create this plan and I still want to work with
34:14
you, then I transition you into our stress Mystery program. I'm sorry if
34:20
you hit my dog, it's okay. I don't here. But you know,
34:22
I was about to say, because she got a little her though she
34:24
hears you heard it. You just okay, So I really I don't.
34:31
I'm scared to ask another question because she's gonna come for me, And I'm
34:36
like, I don't think right like you're asking the question for the audience,
34:40
So I am but it's like it's hitting me first and they can see that's
34:47
funny. You said the relationship with time. Yeah, and I've been amongst
34:59
the some really really powerful people that struggle with the same thing. And I
35:07
think, and you can correct me if I'm wrong. Do you consider procrastination
35:13
evidence of your relationship with time? Yeah, if there's a component to it.
35:17
I think also too, When I think about procrastination, I always ask
35:22
what are the fears that hit right? Are we procrastinating because of the fear
35:27
of failure, so meaning, hey, I'm going to take my sweet time
35:32
because I'm actually afraid that it's not going to turn out the way that I
35:37
think it is. Are we procrastinating because the fear of success of like I
35:42
know I'm thebomb dot com and I know I could get this done instantaneously,
35:45
But if I kill this and somebody notices it, then that means it's going
35:49
to put me in a spotlight that I don't think I'm ready for. So
35:53
because sare that with procrastination, And then also too, like you just can't
36:04
you can't have But she can't listen the knife is here, I don't know
36:09
what she's talking about, Like she's real, sweet, you really you got
36:16
but you're really cutting right now. I'm the guys, and I'm just trying
36:20
to tell you, wait, the fear of success, that's real. She
36:24
said that, So with Okay, the last liabue that you made, would
36:30
that be connected to the idea of imposter syndrome? I was getting it to
36:34
segue into that too. Yeah, okay, I'm ready. It's going to
36:39
take a nick off also too, like considering, like imposter syndrome, what
36:45
is your perspective of self? And I think the interesting thing about imposter syndrome
36:52
is that we're questioning what we know to be true. It's like there's constant
36:55
fear of like being found out that we're actually not that good enough. But
37:00
I think we have to challenge that understanding that like, if you are placed
37:05
in this room, you're placing this room for a reason. And I think
37:08
also to stop putting the pressure on yourself to carry yourself. You know,
37:13
if we're the children of God, you know the Lord is gonna equip you.
37:15
If you are a spirit filled with the Holy Spirit, you know,
37:21
just trust the fact that the end dwelling of the Holy Spirit is just gonna
37:23
come forward, you know. So stop putting the pressure on you. It's
37:28
not by power, not by might, but by your spirit, like trust
37:32
in the spirit of God. You're just a vessel. You know. God
37:36
will position you a place you where you need to be. So if you're
37:39
talking about that I am statement, you know I am that I am.
37:44
We're creating the image of God. So you're trying to say that the God
37:46
that you serve as an impost which what are you doing? A we're doing
37:53
here? What are you doing? So? Was Manchester? Yeah, yeah,
38:06
that's what she said. That's what she said. What am I supposed
38:13
to say after that? Well, I wasn't ready for you just said because
38:20
I identify as an impostive. I think that that's my story that you that
38:28
journeys down to the fact that you said, Okay, we don't serve an
38:31
impostor, so how can you be one? Oh seer who you're getting my
38:37
you're getting my neck to day also saying that he made a mistake. That
38:44
essentially is that the correct word, but it essentially sounds right, It sounded
38:50
cute. I'm with a psychotherapist. I don't do that. Don't do that
38:59
speaking of like therapists, that what for people that are not in that field.
39:05
But I think some of the reason why people may hesitate to go to
39:10
therapy because there's so many options when you really start digging. So, how
39:15
do I know I need a psyco therapist, a counselor all? What are
39:19
all these terms and what do they mean? And what does yours particularly mean?
39:22
Yeah, so psychotherapists, these are individuals because my credential is licensed professional
39:29
counselor. And even within the mental health field, states are going to have
39:32
the different names. So in Georgia, I'm a licensed professional counselor, but
39:36
in the state of Maryland, I'm a licensed clinical professional counselor. In the
39:40
state of Florida, I would be a licensed mental health counselor. So it's
39:45
literally the same thing, but every state has there are different credentials because there's
39:50
no licensed portability a little bit. This is just me nerding out. The
39:54
counseling profession originally was created for white men who were veterans, okay, and
40:02
so yes, we have like the social work field, the social field has
40:06
been here for like years. Our profession as licensed therapists or licensed professional counselors,
40:14
we didn't start arising until like the time of war like World War One,
40:17
maybe World War two, or maybe a little bit earlier than that.
40:21
Please don't quote beyond that, but it was essentially for white men who needed
40:25
career planning and had literally had come home from war. And then over time
40:30
the field began to grow and transform, and then we started not just focusing
40:36
on like the counseling realm. We are our focus more as counselors are like
40:40
increasing functionality. So are you able to do your activities of daily living?
40:45
Can we make sure that you are able to get a job and actually function
40:49
on that job? Who are you holistically? And then what resources can we
40:52
begin to tie in. I know, I love all mental professionals, but
40:58
I remember when I first entered into the field, it was very territorial.
41:01
Social workers are like, no, we got this on lot. Professional councilors
41:05
like, no, we got this on lot of Psychiatrists are like, don't
41:07
you dare come up here? And psychologists were like, we do X,
41:10
Y and Z. But at the end of the day, we do all
41:14
serve from a place of like psychotherapy. Let me take that back. A
41:20
site in psychotherapist is going to make sure that they have like the clinical modalities
41:23
in the school of thoughts, so they're specialties, like those who trained in
41:27
EMDR or those who are trained in like DBT, which is DIRECTLVE behavioral therapy.
41:31
There are some who are specifically trained in IFS, which is like U
41:36
in internal family system. So like making sure that you have like these specific
41:40
modalities and you're skilled in them in comparison to just being a counselor who probably
41:49
might just counsel. That's good. I think that's I think that was the
41:52
word, especially when you go back to the history. I think sometimes we
41:55
can miss the opportunity to know the root of a thing. And what you
42:00
just what you just stated was very u eye opening and almost makes sense to
42:07
your first statement when you said that you saw a lot of black faces in
42:15
the realm of the therapy, uh, the therapeutic realm. And so what
42:21
what do you think hinders our community from moving forward to being able to help
42:27
our community? Heal mm hmm. I think it really just comes down to
42:34
a person's desire or passions for their career. Right. I remember, growing
42:40
up, especially as a little black girl, you either became a lawyer,
42:45
doctor, or I don't know, hairdresser, right, like very service oriented
42:52
type thing, service oriented and you just gonna make a whole lot of money
42:57
on why because we just want to make sure that like we or people of
43:00
wealth, that we were financially stable. Like those are the areas of focus
43:04
for a lot of individuals. I've never I never knew about the counseling profession
43:09
until I started digging and doing my research, like how do I help us
43:15
from a mental health perspective. I've heard about psychiatrists, I've heard about psychologists,
43:20
but in no way did I hear about a licensed professional counselor or a
43:23
licensed social worker. As a matter of fact, I take that back,
43:27
I didn't hear about LPC's until so a little bit before my undergraduate degrees in
43:36
Communication and Sciences and Disorders, I wanted to become a speech language pathologist for
43:40
deaf kids. Now also double majored in psychology. The only reason why I
43:45
took up psychology was as like a like a plan be I remember I took
43:52
a course in psychology. You know, you have like your prerequisites, and
43:55
the lady was just like if just in case you, just in case it
44:00
doesn't work out, make sure that you have a psychology degree because companies and
44:05
organizations will hire you with the psychology degree over a business major. That's what
44:08
she said. So I was like, all right, bet, just in
44:10
case this doesn't work out for me, let me have that. And then
44:14
I started volunteering at the VA, the Veterans Administration in Tampa, and I
44:21
just started learning about how to be able to meet the needs of that population
44:24
from a speech therapy perspective. But then there was a rising industry, which
44:30
is like professional counseling that was supposed to help support the needs of psychologists and
44:37
psychiatrists, and so I had heard about it around that time, but I
44:39
didn't take it seriously because I was like, I ain't trying to do that,
44:44
but the Lord it's all about that Lord. Huh. So I was
44:50
like, all right, the Lord be doing what you like. He said
44:52
for my plans, on my plans and your plans. Your plans, So
44:57
write a plan. Okay, you got bring will, but I'm I'm gonna
45:00
let you feel feel mind that part. But years later, y'all listen.
45:09
So one of the other things I know about you, or I'm aware about
45:15
you, is that I think you it's saying that you're an anger management Yeah,
45:19
professional how does that tie in with your the professional development? How does
45:23
what does that look like? Oh, anger management is so for it and
45:28
so certified Anger Management Level two. How that ties in from an emotional perspective?
45:35
And this is why I like to like to teach clients. So anger
45:42
is an important emotion. Right, Anger can stand by itself. However,
45:46
anger is often looked at as a secondary emotion. We can manifest anger,
45:52
but underneath that thing there are other emotions. We become angry or we showcase
45:58
anger because we may feel like we're just respected, or maybe we may feel
46:00
like we're betrayed, or maybe we feel like we're alone or misunderstood. And
46:07
so a person can exhibit anger as a result of all of the other emotions
46:10
that are underneath this. It's kind of like an iceberg. Like the reason
46:14
why the Titanic sank was because they miscalculated what was on the surface. Well,
46:19
underneath there was all these other emotions. Now how that translated into the
46:23
professional realm. It's like, you know you're going to work, you're constantly
46:28
doing your thing, but you got this micro managing manager that's on your head
46:34
constantly. It seems like no matter what you do, it's not enough,
46:37
or that you are not being heard or seen, or that your efforts aren't
46:42
being validated, and then all of a sudden, you turn around and get
46:45
this one email that just burned your soul and you get to going off.
46:52
And so it's just like a lot of people will be like, oh my
46:53
gosh, I didn't expect that, what did that come from? Oh my
46:57
goodness, Like it's literally these little things that build up over time. And
47:01
so when I do, like my anger management trainings, it's just teaching people
47:06
how to navigate their anger so that it doesn't become this explosive thing. Like,
47:10
yes, we need to have anger, yet you want to have anger
47:13
that moves towards change. You want to have righteous anger, but don't be
47:16
consumed by your anger to the point where you start destroying things, just to
47:20
destroying relationships, getting mad at yourself, self harming, wanting to take your
47:24
life, maybe even wanted to harm other people. So just teaching people the
47:29
skills on how to work through their anger, that's good. So my imagination
47:32
is running right now. So what thought process is like, Okay, so
47:37
you teach somebody how to manage their anger, do they transcribe those same skills
47:42
to or translate those same skills to other emotions, or do they just choose
47:46
another emotion to lean on because they've chosen to negate their anger. Well,
47:54
it really just depends as you're walking through the process and you start to see
47:58
all these other emotions that come up, like, for example, you're feeling
48:01
betrayed or you're in this place of a fence, right, Like, so
48:05
now we understand what's the root cause, let's start to mitigate that. Let's
48:07
kind of dive into what is contributing to this. What I find is usually
48:14
a person might have had an experience in the past, whether it be in
48:16
childhood or maybe even adolescence that has yet to be resolved, which is like
48:22
perpetuating the anchor. And so when that shows up in adulthood because it hasn't
48:25
been resolved, you're kind of like having this kind of transference experience, like
48:30
this is reminding me of something that's happened to me previously before, and so
48:35
helping people to like work through that as well. That's good. That's that's
48:40
good. I'm I'm pausing right, I'm gonna tell you why I'm okay,
48:46
because I'm thinking of something that I probably need to get over and you bring
48:54
it well. Me bringing that question up and your answer to it made me
48:59
think of an opportunity that I did not and it wasn't nothing, but God,
49:05
let's go ahead. I'm not I'm not saying like I'm so upset about
49:08
it that it was detrimental to my life because I am where I am right
49:13
now, Thank God for that. But I think about how employers look at
49:17
your emotional I don't know if it's considered intelligence or management skills to where like,
49:23
how do Okay, So I'm just gonna tell you a little bit of
49:28
what happened and then you'll see where I'm coming from. Okay, So there
49:31
was a I had went out for this position, right I went out for
49:36
this job to get promoted, and I didn't get it. And when I
49:40
got my feet back, one of the first things they said to me was
49:50
one of the first thing they said to me was that they remembered like an
49:55
emotional moment that I had, and I trust then with emotional moment and then
50:02
it almost it's almost like the conversation maybe God there I'm trying to figure out
50:10
like, okay, am I not able to be human at work? Or
50:15
am I? So I think for the people that are like, okay,
50:20
I can manage it. But how long do I manage it before you get
50:24
or before you see that? If you see it, whose responsibility is it
50:29
to like cover me? Because I know I had a moment. I know
50:31
I had a human moment. That's so good, okay, Holy Spirit?
50:37
All right? So first and foremost, I hate the fact that she weaponized
50:42
your emotions against you. I don't like that one. And I also want
50:47
to firm you in this moment. This was a person that you trusted with
50:52
this particular situation, but because of her lack of stewardship and she did not
50:57
know how to handle you in that season, I just declared to cree that
51:01
you will be healed in Jesus name emotionally, because that was not right.
51:06
That was not right. So there we go. But yes, for the
51:10
individual who knows that they are very much in tune with their emotions, I
51:17
definitely encourage you to look at this concept called the wise mind. So the
51:22
wise mind allows us to look at ourselves from these three different fantast points emotional
51:29
mind, the reasonable mind, and the wise mind. So there's individuals who
51:32
have a tendency of being more emotion oriented. So you guys, are fully
51:37
aware of your emotions. You give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Sometimes
51:40
though, because of that, you can at least to impulsivity or make a
51:45
decisions without fully thinking. On the flip side, you have those individuals who
51:50
are more logically minded, so you act on the practical, tangible facts.
51:55
You really just only want to focus on what is the real truth and why
52:00
that's beautiful too. On the flip side, though, that caused you to
52:04
be very cold, very distant, very well calculated. You just completely put
52:08
your feelings in the vaccine. As a matter of fact, your feelings are
52:12
left in the garage and you just kind of keep it moving. But the
52:15
goal is to find a beautiful harmony or a marriage where you allow yourself to
52:19
be human, because that's what our emotions are. Our emotions give us the
52:22
opportunity to be fully human, but our logic insulates those emotions to help us
52:28
to be able to make a sound decisions. And so making sure that you
52:32
are allowing yourself to feel and also taking the data that we have from our
52:38
emotions to make sound decisions. Now, in terms of navigating your emotions within
52:45
the workplace. This is something that we are often struggling with. Remember we
52:50
had that conversation about work culture. You as an individual, as you become
52:53
an employee, you gotta understand the landscape of your work environment. Look at
52:59
the people people that are in there, and who are the people who are
53:01
over it. If you find that they're super calculated, that they are more
53:06
reason minded, then you already know that these individuals may not be able to
53:10
have the capacity to be able to tend to you and in your place of
53:15
need. And so we just there's no fault in that. Hey, it
53:21
is what it is. But maybe we can't utilize resources like your employee sistance
53:25
program, finding a therapist, maybe even aligning yourself with a mentor within the
53:30
department, or maybe a mentor outside of the department, somebody who's a little
53:36
bit higher up and may have some years underneath their belt to help guide you.
53:39
Real we talked about wise counsel. So those are some ways to survive
53:44
the work environment. Looking at the resources that are readily available with your benefits,
53:49
your employee sistance program, seeing if they'll cover any professional development trainings or
53:53
if they'll help cover with therapy also check to see if there's like any other
53:58
mentorship maybe you might want to find yourself like a work buddy, but also
54:02
kind of be careful with that too, because we never know anybody's true intentions,
54:07
or if you want to take a leadership role on serving within your black
54:12
or Latina employee resource groups or your diversity equity inclusion groups as well, because
54:19
anytime we think about diversity, we're always thinking about ethnicity and race, when
54:22
diversity also means diversity in thought to diversity and experience too. So those are
54:29
some ways to navigate your emotions in the workplace. That was I don't know
54:35
about No, I don't know about y good, okay, because I'm still
54:39
in the workplace, Okay, not the same workplace, and I've forgiven that
54:45
person. It just I think it was just like I think it made me
54:47
hypersensitive to my own emotions. So it's like, oh, can't show that,
54:55
can't do that, can't say you know what I'm saying, because it's
54:59
gone. It's gonna come back eight months later to say, hey, you
55:04
were you remember when you did that? You know, you gotta make sure
55:07
that you calm down. And I had no, no, ma'am yeah,
55:12
no, but thank you for bringing up that experience, because it's it goes
55:15
back to the conversation about authenticity, right, Like, we have these like
55:21
leaders that I'll say, show up peers are as your authentic self, be
55:23
you blah blah blah. But it's like, Brad, if I really showed
55:28
up as my authentic self, would you even with the hand and all,
55:31
would you even like me like that? You know, like, or would
55:35
you even respect me like that? Would you still allow me to be fully
55:39
human and still be able to lead you or would you disqualify me based upon
55:44
my authenticity? And so we often with a black and a woman of color,
55:51
we just like, no, I'm just gonna show up, be quiet,
55:53
do what I gotta do, and keep it moving. And that's a
55:57
great disadvantage because they see that as us not being a team player. That
56:00
sees us as like not wanting to be fully engaged. But and no,
56:04
I'm just trying to protect myself from the rest of y'all. I'm kind,
56:07
I'm nice if you come up to me and talk to me, but I'm
56:10
not starting conversations because I don't know how this is going to turn out.
56:15
And so it's this constant place of survival. So thank you so much for
56:17
bringing that up, because that's something that a lot of us deal with in
56:21
the workplace, being scared to show up as our authentic self because you might
56:24
judge us, so you might use that against us. And some people like
56:29
are not in a spaceful to know that be confirmed, are firmed. That's
56:32
a real thing. Yeah, Like it's so many of us not in the
56:37
higher places. Like we see all these people that are like on social media
56:40
and they are doing well, and like oh, the first black woman doing
56:45
this, and the Latina's doing this and da da da, and it's like,
56:49
it's so few of us that are in those spaces. And when it's
56:52
time for us to go to those places, we don't know necessarily have the
56:55
I guess the protocol to say to manage that without being known as the wits
57:05
of the department and angry women of the department. And I think that how
57:13
do we console each other there without making it a competition on where we're navigating
57:17
to? Yeah, I think one honoring the beauty in one another. So
57:27
what I often find too is that like you got to deal with your own
57:30
insecurities before you start to get into connection with other people. I think it's
57:36
important for individuals to be fully aware of their self or at least like have
57:39
a degree of a level of awareness to see what's keeping them from connecting with
57:45
other women from a healthy place. I think also too, just giving people
57:49
the benefit of the doubt first and then also seeing to what degree are you
57:55
willing to invite this person in, like you know, like give them breadcrumbs,
58:00
give them small things to see how that works too. I think also
58:05
to dismantling the idea that black women or like a women of color cannot work
58:10
collaboratively together. I think that's like an age old belief and we have to
58:15
challenge that. And I think also too there's longing to connect from a genuine
58:19
place. You can't be genuine with other people if you're not genuine with yourself.
58:24
So there and there on this on period, dear, I feel like
58:30
I got so many questions, but I don't want to wear you out because
58:34
I like you. You oil in Oh amen, yeah you oilly, and
58:40
you it makes sense for you to be where you are. I normally ask
58:46
my guests if there was a final thought something that we didn't go over and
58:53
that you would like people to know, if they didn't hear anything else out
58:58
of this conversation, what would you want to leave them with. I'll be
59:04
rest with that. I think I would like to go back to like the
59:10
concept of like imposter syndrome. Right. I know we talked about how ultimately
59:19
that that statement, I am, like, I really want people to understand
59:22
that you are literally created in the image of God, and there's no mistake.
59:27
There's no mistake. I know we've done mistakes because we're human, but
59:30
literally we can take things that we've experienced, find meaning in it, and
59:36
then find ways to help other people. Like even with this particular episode,
59:39
right, the fact that you guys, both of you guys were willing to
59:43
remain transparent and vulnerable, Like, people can't heal without transparency and vulnerability,
59:50
and so don't be afraid to show your scars even if it's still healing.
59:54
Right, do it in wisdom because you don't want to trauma bond. Okay,
1:00:00
doing it wisdom because you do not want to build relationships off of hurt
1:00:04
and pain. But we can build communities by telling one another's stories. Like
1:00:08
even as being a part of the African diaspora, there are a lot of
1:00:13
things that have been able to be passed down through this storytelling. Let's get
1:00:20
back to like connecting over the stories that we can tell one another, stories
1:00:23
of pope, stories of joy, stories of peace. We don't always got
1:00:27
to talk about struggle, we don't always got to be talking about how stressed
1:00:30
out we are, but we can bond over those beautiful stories and learn from
1:00:35
one another. So I think those are the things I would like to share.
1:00:38
Yeah, we love it. We gotta say. I gotta tell you
1:00:40
why we got excited because there's an episode before yours. His name is doctor
1:00:47
Philip A. Sullivan, and he said the word diaspora after like literally in
1:00:52
the scenes that it's like diasp what I was gonna go to goo and he
1:01:00
explain it to it. So now we know if you watch the episode,
1:01:04
be this touch with Philip cellivation, you should know where a diaster you.
1:01:14
That's hilarious. They stories of you. We we love learning here on Just
1:01:22
Air for podcasts, and that's why we're so grateful for your presence. And
1:01:28
I just feel like this won't be the last time because you just have your
1:01:30
ball of wisdom, you have your own podcast, So it's it's Legacy Speaks
1:01:37
podcast, right, and so if you want to if you need more mental
1:01:42
health awareness, more dialogue with the woman to God, the one and only
1:01:46
Yea heals me, go over there. And I know we're probably gonna go
1:01:50
ahead and linked that Lincoln now, but go over there and download y'all.
1:01:54
This is this is information being put out for y'all. And she is consistently,
1:01:59
all right, ready doing it, so she already has the platform.
1:02:01
This is just a series, just just asking doing the series for the make,
1:02:06
but she does it consistently. So I want to drive you over there
1:02:08
because this is impactful, Like we can't do it just in this hour that
1:02:14
we're together. So I am super excited. I had my tissue, y'all,
1:02:16
y'all see this, But she when she said, what was that not
1:02:21
the boundaries? What'll she say burden if we feel I felt that word.
1:02:24
And I've been peeling tissues the whole time because I've been nerving after the fact.
1:02:29
But y'all, I want to say, Sierra, thank you so much
1:02:32
for joining us here on just as the podcast desiree. Thank you for going
1:02:38
and getting your mind and acting like you knew how to do something. Thank
1:02:44
you yeah, because she was coming forward Like I was like, let me
1:02:49
wrap it, let me go ahead, repress because I got another question,
1:02:51
but let me go in representation. What I'm not gonna do is be the
1:02:54
hostess on the floor. Okay, we would not be on the Okay.
1:03:01
So I love you guys. Thank you so much for watching. Until next
1:03:06
time. Remember life could be much more simple if you just asked, thank
1:03:17
you for tuning in to this week's episode. Since you've made it this far,
1:03:22
you might as well connect with us on all social media platforms at the
1:03:25
Jessica S. Smith. I know I won't see you back until next week,
1:03:30
but until then, remember to love always yourself and always thank thank God
1:03:37
for one another day. Hey, hey, I know we could be another
1:03:44
way. Hey, pray thank God for another day. Hey hey, I'm
1:03:52
just thankful for another day. Hey Hey another day? Oh, another day
1:04:00
wise, another day to get it right, another day that rise up,
1:04:03
another day living another day. We loved ones. I always remember hold it
1:04:08
down for a ball one yup.