Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How narcissists turn other people against you

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How narcissists turn other people against you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how narcissists turn
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  people against you. How like, how does it happen?
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  Like how did they turn your closest associates against you,
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  against you? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back, welcome
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  back, welcome back, folks. Yes, yes, yes.
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  That's the question of the hour, isn't it?
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  How the hell do narcissists manage so efficiently to turn
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  people against you? Like how to hit out?
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  How does this happen? I know a lot of people ask
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  wanted a lot of people wanted this right here because you'll
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  be like in a good relationship. You like you have not not
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  necessarily good intimate relationship like you'll have a
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  good friend circle. You have a beautiful support
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  system like you grew up in a healthy happy household.
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  You have a good friend group. You have a good support system
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  like you like you have a good job and everything like that.
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  You have good Co workers like your life is good.
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  Then you meet this person who, who's typically sweeps you off
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  of your feet. Not everybody gets swept off to
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  their feet in narcissist relationships, but a lot of
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  people get swept up off of their feet, right?
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  This person sweeps you off of your feet, love bombs the, the,
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  the steam off of you and gets embedded into your life.
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  Sometimes they become friends with your friends, right?
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  Sometimes they they get embedded with your friend group, with
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  your family and whatnot, with your coworkers, whoever the
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  closest people to you are, they get embedded in that group
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  because that's how it normally happens in healthy
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  relationships, right? You meet them, they meet your
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  friends, your friends, hopefully like them.
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  Y'all just become a like you just have a plus one to your
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  support system, right? But the way it goes,
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  narcissistic people, once the love bombing ends and they start
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  to devalue you, they separate you from your friend group.
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  A lot of times. A lot of times your support
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  system weans, it goes away. It's just like typically it's
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  just like drifts off. It doesn't completely disappear,
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  but it drifts off into nothingness.
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  Like he's just like wait, wait a minute.
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  I had so many friends and found what, what the hell my people
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  at? You be confused as hell.
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  You just don't know where your friends and family.
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  You don't know where your people are.
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  You just like lost. Like I had a lot of friends and
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  found what the hell did they go? The narcissist in your life has
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  turned them against you. And there's a few different ways
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  that they do this job. The 1st way is that they just
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  lie. They spread rumors to your
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  friends, they tell your friends and your family members and the
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  people around you or their friends and family members Co
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  workers. Whoever it is doesn't have to be
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  your inner circle. It can be their inner circle who
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  may who may have liked you at 1st and now they can't stand
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  your ass like what happened. They lie yo.
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  I think so many people think the smear campaign from a narcissist
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  starts at the end of the relationship.
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  That's not true all the time. The smear campaign from a
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  narcissist a lot of times starts while you're in the relationship
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  with them. They start telling lies and
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  spreading rumors about you while you're still with them.
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  That's crazy, right? I know you're like damn Lee what
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  the what what how the heck? What the heck Lee what how how
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  how did this how did this happen?
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  I know y'all curious about that? He's like what?
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  What the hell? How did this happen?
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  Lee, they I'm sorry, I know it's not funny.
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  It's just the way I, I crack myself up because I don't know.
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  I'm going to say sometimes it, it just comes out like they be
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  lying their asses off to your friends and family.
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  They just start spreading little rumors about you and lying like
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  man, Lee treat Lee treat me horrible, like Lee is not a good
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  person. Like when I first got into this
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  relationship, I, I, I thought I could be myself, but Lee is just
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  treating me so badly. I'm lying to your friends in
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  this, in this situation, I'm not Lee.
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  Lee is my Lee is the narcissist, right?
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  They just be lying to your friends and family.
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  Start planting little seeds, little seeds.
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  And sometimes it's crazy that people around you believe them,
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  their friends believe them. Their friends and family members
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  are more apt to believe them anyway.
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  So that really has nothing to do with you a lot of times.
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  But your friends and family, they start planting these little
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  seeds and start because they behave the way they do.
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  This is they behave very well in front of your friends and
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  family, right? They behave very well in front
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  of your people. They do.
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  They behave extremely well. They have this good reputation
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  in front of your people and in front of their people.
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  But behind the scenes, behind that curtain at home, behind
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  that red, behind that big red curtain at home, surprise, they
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  toxic as hell. They manipulative as hell.
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  They be lying. They asses off.
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  They're like, they can't tell the damn truth.
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  It's so crazy. They can't even tell the damn
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  truth, right? They just be lying.
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  They little manipulative asses off and this is the way it goes
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  for so many people in these situations, right?
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  This is how it happens. And then like they just, you
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  know, at home, they're like the monster, like you know, you ever
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  seen the Gremlins? I don't know.
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  I'm about the age of myself. Yes, I'm 39 years old.
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  If you ever seen the Gremlins with Gizmo, Gizmos, little.
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  If you ever seen the Gremlins, Gizmo is like a little nice
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  little creature, right? And they tell you don't feed the
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  grid, don't feed him or get him wet.
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  After a certain time, you get him wet, he turns into these
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  little goblins and then he turns evil.
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  Gizmo turns evil. He's like Gizmo to this nice
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  little brown little alien, cute as hell, cute as can be, but you
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  get him wet. You feed him after midnight,
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  turn into a little monster. That's what narcissists are at
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  home. Narcissists are the little
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  monsters at home. They're not the little, they're
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  not the little, they're not the little alias, but they they have
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  like this is how they act at home.
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  They just put this mask on in public and people typically
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  don't see behind the mask like you, like they started spreading
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  these rumors about you and they put on this good act that had
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  this good reputation and your friends and you and you start
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  complaining and you'll be like, man, I'm getting treated
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  horribly at home. And they'll be like, whoa, we
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  don't see it that way. We just we believe your partner
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  because your partner is just good that everybody bother
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  everybody that drinks through the life of the party like
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  you've changed what they turn your people against you by lying
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  and planting seeds. It's crazy as hell how they be
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  working and it works. It does.
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  They should be lying and planting seeds.
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  It works y'all. It does work, you know and it
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  happens all the time to so many people when y'all and it happens
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  so subtly. It's just like you just turn
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  around you're like, damn, I ain't no friends, I ain't no
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  family members and guess what happens?
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  It turns around. You don't have you feel like you
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  don't have a support system, you don't have any friends and
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  family around. Guess what happens?
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  The only person that you end up being able to reach out to is
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  that narcissist. And guess what happens?
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  They don't want to hear it. They don't want to hear it.
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  They don't want to hear their mouth.
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  They don't want to hear it like I don't.
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  No narcissist wants to hear you complaining about them.
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  To them, that's just me being real.
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  That's just me keeping it hot and rated like a Little Caesar's
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  pizza, right? That's how they do it.
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  You know, the other way that they turn, there's going to be
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  some other ways might not listen.
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  I don't want this video run on too long, but the other main way
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  that they turn people against you other than lying is they
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  just isolate you. Y'all, you do it.
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  You see what I'm saying? And I was like, believe, yes,
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  victim blaming. No, listen to me right here.
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  I am not victim blaming. I'm trying to show you how you
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  can play a role in your own isolation.
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  Narcissistic people love bomb you.
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  It seems normal, it seems healthy.
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  When you meet somebody new, the sparks are flying, the cheeks
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  are clapping, the wine is pouring.
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  Whatever y'all like to do for fun, right?
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  You're partying, you're having fun, right?
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  This is how it goes. Y'all go out and do this, y'all
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  go out and have fun. You party blah blah blah Boo Boo
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  Boo. Y'all do all this stuff and
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  naturally y'all spend so much time together.
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  Then you start to see other people less.
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  They naturally isolate you. They naturally isolate you.
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  You go away from your friends and family and people start
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  turning against you. Like damn, you put your you get,
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  you knew you fresh people were like damn, we don't see you no
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  more like you don't get you a new Boo.
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  You don't disappear on us. Wow, damn what what happened?
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  I thought we were friends, thought we was cool, thought we
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  were siblings. I thought we were like the the
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  three best friends there ever could be.
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  We were Blood Brothers. We took a blood oath.
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  We took a blood oath and you don't you, you didn't dissed us
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  and y'all be laid up getting love bombed and by by the time
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  you know it, you're isolated. You didn't cut your friends and
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  family off for this narcissistic person because you want to spend
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  more time with them and they make you feel insecure about
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  going. They make you feel guilty and
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  insecure about going around your friends and family.
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  Like, why are you going to go spend time with your brother?
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  I thought you're going to be here with me.
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  Why are you going to see your sister?
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  You're going to see your aunt, your cousin.
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  Why are you going to see with your mom and dad?
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  Like what happened? What about me?
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  I guess I'll be here by myself. And you start cancelling trips.
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  You start not showing up for holidays.
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  And people are just naturally normal people.
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  They're like that. It's kind of messed.
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  Like, you can come to Christmas. Well, my partner didn't want me
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  to come. They just made me.
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  They might want to hear that. So people would naturally turn
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  against you in that space right there.
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  Not when I say turn against you right here.
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  I don't mean that they hate you. They just started to they just
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  got started to dislike it. You, you you rub them the wrong
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  way. When you little show off for
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  Christmas, you start disappearing.
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  You don't show up the family functions and you don't show up
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  the family functions or anything anymore.
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  Like you kind of start to rub them the wrong way.
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  Sorry, how my mouth came off and that happens.
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  That really does happen. Yeah.
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  My camera, my camera's on its last leg.
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  It it'd be yeah, it'd be flash. And I just said the video to my
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  friend, but it's just crazier. But that's what happens.
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  They do this type of stuff, they love it.
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  They love it when you get isolated because now you don't
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  have it again, you don't have a support system.
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  The only person that you can complain about to me is me
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  because you've been naturally isolated.
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  Narcissists love to isolate you. They move you away from your
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  friends and family, right? That's how they do it.
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  They naturally isolate you by moving away for a job or career
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  or just a a change of scenery, right?
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  That's how they naturally isolate.
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  You get isolated and people don't like it no more.
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  They're just like, damn, they don't, they don't your friends
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  down. They don't necessarily hate you.
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  They just like stop inviting you this stuff.
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  You you notice like you don't you, you miss showing up to like
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  three parties or wedding or anniversary and birthdays and
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  whatever. And also the invites stop
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  coming. They don't invite you no more
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  because you haven't been showing up because you've been isolated
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  by this narcissistic person, this toxic ass person, right?
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  So that's another way that they do it just by just natural
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  isolation. And I'll go over this last way
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  right here. So this will be three ways
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  y'all. I might actually title this
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  three ways to the narcissist to turn people against you.
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  That might be a good, that might actually be a good title.
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  But the last way is because you keep going back.
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  And this is like, and this is the subtle way that people don't
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  realize it. Your people will start to
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  sometimes turn against you when you keep going back into
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  toxicity. If you keep going back into this
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  toxic relationship, your friends and family members might
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  naturally start to kind of distance themselves from you.
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  Like I had a woman the other day I was talking to.
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  No, this, no, this woman is in my support group.
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  She's in my support group called the mental healers
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  courses.mentalhealers.net to check out my support group.
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  It's scrolling across the bottom of the screen.
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  But she said that her therapist fired her.
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  Now this woman I did a one-on-one with.
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  She said her therapist stopped talking to her.
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  She's like her therapist said, Hey, look, I, I, I fear for your
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  life. These stories you're telling me
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  are horrible. The abuse is horrible.
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  They, they tried to take your life a few times.
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  If you go back to this person, I'm no longer going to be able
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  to be a therapist because I can't.
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  I don't want to have to know my conscience.
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  This is what she told me. And she went back and the third,
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  she tried to schedule a therapy for me.
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  And the therapist was like, no, I told you, I'll send you a
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  referral to somebody else. Even the therapist cut her off.
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  Your sister, your brother's cut you off.
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  Like, hey, if you go back, I can't talk to you no more.
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  And you go back and they stop talking to you, your mom be
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  like, hey, look, if you go back into this toxicity where you
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  might lose your life, I can't deal with it anymore.
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  Where we, we, we tired of hearing the same thing repeat
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  itself over and over again. And guess what?
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  You go back and they, they follow through with it.
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  And then you feel like they abandoned you.
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  Well, sometimes it can look like abandonment, but the people can
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  set boundaries with you as well. So you get the people sort of
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  naturally turn against you because you keep choosing to go
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  back in toxicity. Y'all, I know the trauma bond
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  exists. I'm not trying to be ignorant of
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  the trauma bond. I'm just telling you, regardless
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  of the trauma bond or not, you go back into it.
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  You tell people about the abuse, they help, they help you move
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  out of this house, they help you survive, they help you get away
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  from it. And you still go back into it,
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  right? And when you go back into it,
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  these people are not happy with you anymore.
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  And when they're not happy with you, they do this type of stuff
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  to you. They I, they just like, OK, we
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  got to leave you alone. We can't deal with you anymore,
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  we can't be around you anymore, and that sucks for you.
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  I know it does. I'm not trying to make it seem
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  like it doesn't suck. It absolutely does suck.
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  But again, this is the the risk you run when you go back.
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  They will just people just turn against you and just cut you off
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  and stop inviting you this stuff and you know they pray for you
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  and they stop checking on you because they think you're going
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  to end up losing your life. This happened so much y'all.
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  Anyways, y'all shout out thank y'all so much for I had a lot of
• 12:55
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• 12:57
  stickers, super comments or whatever appreciate y'all
• 13:00
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  Any donations will go to the new camera phone because this camera
• 13:09
  is it's on this last leg. It really it really is y'all.
• 13:11
  I'm not even joking. I sent my friend a picture of my
• 13:15
  camera and whatnot. Y'all, like I said, you don't
• 13:17
  have to donate to the phone, y'all, I'm just like like, but
• 13:19
  this is my this is my camera. Looks like we got to turn it on
• 13:21
  camera on this last leg, man, Leave my camera where you turn
• 13:24
  it on. You got to yeah, push this
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  stuff. You got to warm it up.
• 13:30
  Like look at it. It comes on slowly over there.
• 13:34
  I got to buy a whole new camera pretty soon.
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  This is this is literally before I filmed this video.
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  I sent it to my friend Chester. Shout out to Chester Gregory.
• 13:40
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  Thank y'all so much. Mental illness is out.
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  Peace, Thank you so much for making it to the end of my
• 13:58
  video. I am extremely grateful for you
• 14:00
  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.