Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 022: You Don’t Need More Motivation...You Need This Instead

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022: You Don’t Need More Motivation...You Need This Instead · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Frederica Davis.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, wellness expert, entrepreneur, creator of the reset method.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's something I want to talk to you today about because I really think it is so incredibly important.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And especially for those of us as women, with all the things that we have to carry these days, the amount of things that we do every day, the stress that we have, the way our lives often look.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this world that we live in and the expectations that we have of ourselves and the world has of us, it's vast.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't actually get to eliminate pressure from our lives.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of people will tell you, you just have to reduce the stress.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: You have to say no more.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's true.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: That stuff is true.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can reduce and say no more.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: However, we really don't get to eliminate all the pressure from our lives.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: What we can do is choose more strategically the pressure in our lives.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: We do get to choose where we decide to push.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So right now, you you might be listening to this and caring even more than you realize.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're running a business, maybe you're holding your family together, maybe you're managing your health challenges or someone else's challenges.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're dealing with stress or uncertainty or even some major life changes.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: All of those things on their own are already a significant load on your nervous system.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I talk about the nervous system a lot because it's a common denominator.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's a thread that runs through everything.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It dictates how you function, how you feel, how you respond, and ultimately how much capacity you have for your life.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So all of these things, they're already your push.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: They are already your pressure points.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: But then, of course, the question is, well, what do we do?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: We have these things, they're already there.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we think we want to lighten them or we want to eliminate them or we want to change our circumstances.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what do we do?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: We layer on more.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: We start to tell ourselves, okay, I need to go harder.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be stricter.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need to do more.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I need to push through this.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, instead of instead of supporting your body and not just your body, but your mind, your energy, your heart, your soul, everything, your entire life, you start stacking, stacking extreme workouts, extreme diets, extreme expectations of yourself, overloading your schedule.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes even problems that aren't yours to carry, you start stacking.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So all on top of an already potentially overwhelmed system.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is where things start to break.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you feel like you are on overload and you don't know how much longer you can push through or how much more you can handle, and you keep telling yourself, oh, it's okay, I got this.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm superwoman.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can keep going.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I can handle this.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, these are words I've said to myself.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: The same things that could very well help you, these things that you're doing to push through on an already overlaid system, they actually start hurting you.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to give you an example.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Exercise is a really good example of this.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can go for a run, clear your head, regulate your body, and feel better.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can go for a run, and then maybe you decide, oh, I'm gonna add a boot camp to this.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you decide, hey, I'm gonna stay up an extra two or three hours tonight and I'm gonna get this project done.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or whatever it is, you add something else on there getting more and more and more done.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, instead of your body recovering from that run and feeling better, it's actually pushing through so hard and it's taxing your nervous system that it's just surviving.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not recovering, it's barely surviving, and it's adding to the load.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not saying don't exercise in any way, shape, or form.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying don't even push through in life because there is a time for that, but we need strategy.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the same action going for this run as my example, but it's a completely different outcome based on your current load.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And here is the shift.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to start asking yourself, what is my body already carrying right now?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: How am I feeling?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Where is my energy level at?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: What does my body actually really need?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: These are the questions you want to start thinking about, not just physically either.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all of it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Those same questions can be applied to your schedule.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because if your life is already heavy, overfilled, uh, stressed in any of those ways, then your next move should not be more pressure.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It should be more support.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: When you give your body more support, then you can handle the pressure better.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: You see where we're going with this?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't eliminated necessarily the pressure.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: We just have given our body some support so that it can continue to handle the pressure as we are using new strategies to refine how much pressure we have and what we choose to have in our lives, and so on.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when you give your body more support, this might look like a walk instead of a workout.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: It might look like nourishing your body instead of restricting that.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean overeating when you're trying to lose weight or when you're trying to have less or restrict something, whether it's carbs or whatever.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: That means nourishing your body.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So what that might look like would be saying, hey, I'm gonna give my body nutrient-dense food first.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna restrict anything else I want, but I'm gonna choose to do that first and prioritize that to increase my capacity.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It might look like you creating space in your day instead of filling every single second.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's just five minutes to sip some warm lemon water in the morning as you set your intentions for the day.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's an afternoon five minutes.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: It does not have to be complicated, but that is supporting your body versus adding to the load.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be honest with you, this is absolutely something I have to remind myself of too.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't always come naturally to me, even though I teach it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I have worked over the years to become better and better and better and better at this.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you first start doing it, I promise you, it's gonna feel a little weird, a little uncomfortable.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uncomfortable means you're probably gonna grow if you continue to keep doing it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we don't, we don't have any growth.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: We never experience growth without something that's uncomfortable.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: When things are too easy, you're not growing.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you might even feel guilty when you start doing these things for yourself.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually how you're going to expand your capacity to handle everything you have to handle.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And for the moments when you really want to push through, when it really matters to push through.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is how you create the ability to do more and to push harder when it matters.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is the part so many of us miss.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about doing nothing, it's not about never pushing yourself either.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's about pushing yourself much more strategically.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: There are absolutely seasons in life where you are going to push.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I can look back over my life and clearly see those seasons.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I can do it with my clients.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I do it all the time when we are really starting to unpack things, and then they can see them too.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it also starts to become clear at that point.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that is how often we keep pushing long after it is even necessary.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not even always doing it because we want or need to.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing it often because it's become a habit or an expectation.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, sometimes that expectation is something we self-imposed.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: We might have started out feeling like the world expected of it, our parent expected something of us.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, now we have adapted or adopted that and we expect it.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, something that maybe we thought we were supposed to do.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like that?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: You feel a little heavy and you push through them anyway because you just feel like you're supposed to or you're expected to.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: If everything in your life is already demanding more from you, then it then adding more intensity is not discipline.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually self-sabotage.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need more force.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: You need better strategy, you need better timing.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I want to give you a few takeaways from today's episode.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm away with this.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, I want you to identify your current load.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've been keeping a little journal as we've gone through many of these different things, then write it down in there.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Make a list, do whatever works for you.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or think about where it is in your life right now that you're already being stretched.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about this from a mentally, emotionally, physically, and schedule-wise.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: All of that.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is already your daily push.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's your your push that you're living with every day.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you already being stretched?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now that can be professionally, personally, in your family, mentally, emotionally, physically, and your schedule.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because that right there, that is already your push.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's already the heavy load that you're carrying.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, number two, I want you to stop adding more before you commit to something new.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're an entrepreneur listening to this on Sustainable Success Tuesday, then this goes true in your business too, because this becomes a clarity tool and getting clear on what's going on in your business, not just in yourself.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, number two, stop automatically adding more before you commit to something new, like another workout, another plan, another goal, another project in your business or your work.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Pause and ask yourself is this supporting me?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is this supporting my business?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or is this adding more pressure?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, number three, match your action to your current, I stress current capacity.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: If your system is overwhelmed, then you need to choose support.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: If your system is stable, that's when you can push and you can go into that next one hard and feel good about it.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because as soon as you've done that, you're going to come back and support yourself again.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Once you get, you see where the strategy is in this, you're going to things will come to you easier.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Things will happen with less resistance in your life on the whole.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is how you build real sustainable progress.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, number four, I want you to create space on purpose.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's a small amount of it, five minutes, 10 minutes, a walk quiet.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Something that allows you to regenerate, to refuel, to settle, to feel calm.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because space is not wasted time.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually what allows everything else to work, all your other efforts.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need to push.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to remove pressure from your life in order for everything to feel better.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know we often are told that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just not realistic.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: You do need to get intentional, though, about which pressure you're choosing and when you're doing it and the how.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what actually allows you to grow without breaking yourself in the process, without overwhelming yourself, without losing yourself, without losing your health, your sanity, everything.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if this episode has resonated with you today, I would love for you to head on over to our Limitless Living Group where we will continue the conversation.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know somebody who might need to hear this, please share it with them.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And your reviews help other women like you find the show.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.