Latest / The Opinion You Didn’t Ask For / You Are Not Behind

Transcript

You Are Not Behind · The Opinion You Didn’t Ask For

0:00
Up until now I have tried to stay away from controversial
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topics, but today I just have to speak my truth and although I
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may lose friends and family over this, I need to be able to be
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honest with myself and what I believe.
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You guys, welcome back to the opinion you didn't ask for.
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I'm Hannah and today I'm going to ruffle some feathers and the
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feathers I'm going to be ruffling are mostly probably my
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mom and sister. This is not as serious as I made
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it seem. Who doesn't love some drama?
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We are talking about owning a home versus renting a home.
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And some of you may think Hannah that was that was ultra over the
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top drama. You are right.
1:00
Unless you know my background, my mother has been a realtor
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since before I was born. She has owned her own brokerage.
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My sister now is a part of that brokerage and they are real
1:13
estate agents. OK, so this to them is blasphemy
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what I am about to talk about. But you know what, someone's got
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to say it, OK? We can't all, we can't all
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believe the same way, OK? The world just doesn't work like
1:29
that. So I am going to give my
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opinion. Shocker.
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I know gasp on the pros and cons because I am a firm believer
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that there is good and bad in everything and it's what works
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best for you in that time frame. But all I've ever heard growing
1:51
up and especially since becoming a grown up, you guys, my mom got
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me a credit card and Co signed when I turned 18 to start
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building my credit so that I could buy a home.
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OK. That is what I have been hearing
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since I was 18 years old was that the peak of life is when
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you can buy your own home. And I get it.
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For a lot of people, that is the, you know, the American
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dream. I grew up in the same household,
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like born and raised. I was brought home as a newborn
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to the same house. I graduated out of that.
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I spent multiple Christmases with my husband, having kids,
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going back to visit my parents in that home.
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So I get it. Like there are people who when
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they buy once, that is their forever home, but there is so
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much more in buying a home that I don't think people often talk
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about. So that's what I'm going to talk
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about today because I've been bamboozled.
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OK. We currently own a home.
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Greatest mistake of our marriage at this point is what we have
2:59
made an agreement on that. What in the world were we doing
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buying this house? I was postpartum.
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He was feeling overwhelmed living with my parents with
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three small kids. We made a rash decision and we
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are currently paying the consequences of that rash
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decision. And so if I can help anyone
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avoid that, I feel that is my calling at this moment in time.
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So let's backtrack a little bit. Taylor and I have, since being
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married, owned two homes and we have rented 2 homes and it's
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really hard because the first home that we owned, we bought in
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2021, you guys, we had a 2.75 interest rate.
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It was cheaper to buy our home than it was to rent anywhere in
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our town, right? Like that's insane.
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That's insane. So we were living large, except
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we weren't, but that's not the point.
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Our mortgage was so cheap. So we had that going for us,
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right? Like our mortgage is cheaper
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than most people's rent. That's, that's the gold.
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And we got you guys literally miracles on miracles.
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God physically put this paper in our mailbox at this point.
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That is what I'm convinced of. And we got this offer in our
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mailbox in 2022. Markets booming, interest rates
4:31
are still good, but they're slightly going up.
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We got an all cash offer from an investor in our mailbox.
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Like the note was like, we will pay you this much for your house
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right now. And I called my mom because I
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was like, of course she's my go to realtor finance lady.
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And I was like, what is this company?
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Is this fraud? Are we going to be, you know,
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selling our house to a scam artist?
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Are they getting our money and our house?
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Like will we be homeless? And she was able to reassure us
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like, no, that's a real company. That's a real offer.
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I'll call the lady tomorrow. You guys.
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We were able to sell our house for an insanely high price for
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what this tiny 1400 square foot house was worth.
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Definitely not worth what they paid, but it was we had all this
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money that we made. We're like, wow, this is
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phenomenal. This is going to be a down
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payment on our dream home one day.
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So here's a fun fact about me. I'm like a nomad.
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I love moving. I do not love being in the same
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place for too long. I get I get restless.
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I'm like ready to leave a place all the time, but that is not
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how I want to be for the rest of my life.
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I want to find a town, a state, a community that I want to
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invest in, that I want to live in, that I want to raise my kids
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in. And we haven't found it yet.
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We got really, really, really close in Texas.
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But you know, had a baby, hormones.
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They did me dirty. Ended up in Utah where we own
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our home at the moment that we are going to try to be getting
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out of in the next few months, which Taylor was like, do you
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think that making this episode before we sell our house?
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Like what if the family that tries to buy this house finds
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your podcast? Listen to it.
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And it's like, babe, we shouldn't buy this.
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And I said, well, if that happens, then strike me down at
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that point. OK, I mean, I'm not tempting
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God, but please just let us get out of this house.
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But not the point. So like I am really trying to
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find where we want to be and Taylor and I talked a lot about
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where we wanted to raise our kids.
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And the two states that we often talked about were Texas or in
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Tennessee. And before any of you ask, no,
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we do not have family or friends in either place.
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No, we do not have a reason to go there.
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It is just more the vibe, the culture, the people, the
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environment that I wanted to raise my kids in.
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And so I feel like people always ask me like 50 questions of why.
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And I'm like, I don't actually have to give you a why because I
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said so is a sentence like because that's where we want to
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go. Like I'm not asking you to move
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there with me clearly, but mind to business.
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That's what we've always talked about.
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So with this random offer in our mailbox, we felt that it was,
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you know, a way to be able to move to Texas, but we weren't
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just going to, you know, jump the gun and move out there.
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And we ended up moving in with family for what was longer.
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It was supposed to be a couple months.
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It ended up being nine. It was a lot, you guys.
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It was a lot. But Taylor and I flew out to
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Texas, and I had been sending our realtor out there houses
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that I liked. And he'd always come back with,
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OK, well, you know, that's not in your price range.
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And I'm like, yeah, price ranges in my mind are just, you know,
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they're an option. They're like stop signs, You
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know, you don't actually have to stop.
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You just look and keep coasting and make sure no cops are there,
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right? Like, I don't need a price
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range. Like, we can just go off Good
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vibes and feelings at this point.
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OK. I'm sure someone is going to
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just meet me, fall in love with me and be like, we want to give
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this sweet girl our house. OK.
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Some cute old Texas couple. That's what I was envisioning.
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It didn't happen in case you were, like, on the edge of your
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seat waiting to see if that's what happens.
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It's not. So we fly out to Texas and we
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meet with our realtor and I remember we walked in, sat down
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at the table, he had all these papers out and he's like, OK, I
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printed off all of the houses in your price range, in the
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neighborhoods, in the communities and cities and
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whatever that you gave me. And so between him and his
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sister-in-law who works that they have a whole family.
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They have their own family realtor dynasty going on over
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there. OK, It's his mom, his dad, his
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brother, his sister-in-law, him. It's a whole thing.
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They're great. Love them and bless that man for
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being so patient with me. I'd have punched me right in the
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face if I were him. But he sure didn't do that.
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So between him and his sister-in-law, throughout that
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day, they were showing us different houses and he had some
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other things to do. So she would take us and and you
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guys, I think he wanted to humble me oh so quickly because
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we start getting to some of these houses and it's like they
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were getting worse by the minute.
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OK the minute and we pulled up to this one house and she gets
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out and I'm sitting in the car and I look at the house and I
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look at Taylor and I look at her and I just shake my head no.
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I was like I will not be getting out of this car in this
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neighborhood. Absolutely not.
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You won't even get me to walk up to the threshold of that door.
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OK that house is a no go. I wouldn't spend 1 penny on that
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house. And she laughed and gets back in
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the car and we drive to the next house.
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And I'm like, these are not these are not the houses I've
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been sending him. Like what?
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What is happening? Well, fun fact, my dreams are
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bigger than our bank account. So he was gently letting me down
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that I would not be getting this Texas mansion of my dreams.
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OK. That was not where I was going
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to be ending up. And it was a very healthy thing.
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I mean, I don't think some people would have taken that.
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Well, thankfully it's me. I can laugh about anything.
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I'll still say no, but I can laugh about it and like, it's a
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joke. It's funny.
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I'm understanding. I'm coming to grips with
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reality. It hurt.
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It was a painful thing, but I came to grips with them.
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So we get to this next house and we walk through it.
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And as we leave, I'm starting to feel really defeated because I'm
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like, this is not, we did not just make all that money on our
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house in Arizona to turn around and buy a dumpster fire in a not
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good neighborhood. I will not be living here.
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My children will not be playing on these streets.
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I I cannot do that. And so I was talking to her and
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I genuinely just looked her dead in the eyes and I was like, I
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need to know, is buying a house really worth it?
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Like, would you buy right now? And she took a minute and she's
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like, as a realtor, you know, I'd say yes, like buying is
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always a great thing to do. You know, the equity and
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everything, you know, owning a home is great.
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She's like, however, as a wife and a mom, if I had the money
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you guys had to put down on a house, I would not buy a house
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right now. I don't think that that's in
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your best interest. And I loved her for her honesty,
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right? Like, I was like, thank you for
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acknowledging that we are real people, that we have worked
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really hard to be able to have this.
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And I don't want to just throw it away.
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Really wish I could slap me in the face before buying this
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house because that's basically what we did.
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But you know what, hindsight, It's your 2020.
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So we we moved on. And so then after he got done
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with his stuff, I call him and we're like, hey, because he's
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like, OK, we have some new builds we can go look at.
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And I was like, listen, and I don't know if y'all know this
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Texas property taxes are through the roof.
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They will bankrupt you before you even buy the house.
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OK, They're ridiculous, which there is just so much to owning
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a home. I really wish in school we were
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taught, you know, taxes and investments and buying a house
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what a mortgage payment is. Fun fact, your mortgage payment
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can go up. Didn't know that.
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So if you were already house poor on the House you were in
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and then you find out the next year when everything comes
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through that they're upping your mortgage price.
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That's a real fun one. And I'm sure someone's going to
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be like Hannah. That's not how it works.
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OK, well, tell that to the bank account that is still taking
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money out and it's more than it was the year before.
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OK. I don't know how they do it.
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Seems illegal. I really needed the lender when
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we were looking to buy this house to be like, honey, you
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can't afford that house. We will not let you have that
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money. We will not let you sign these
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papers. Where was that?
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Where? Where's the honesty?
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Where's your integrity, people? How are you just letting these
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people buy houses that you know they can't afford?
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You've seen their bank account, you've seen what they bring in
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every month. There's no way they're going to
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be able to keep up with that and live a decent ish life.
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I want to say we do not live a lavish lifestyle.
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We do not eat out a ton, we do not go on vacations.
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We do not buy new clothes and new toys and new shoes and new
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things all the time. OK, We have one vehicle that is
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fully paid off and we share it like we are not living large
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over here. So tell me, in what world were
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we going to be able to afford this mortgage?
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And yes, I did go into it thinking we will just refinance
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when interest rates come down. The Lord was really laughing at
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me on that one because it didn't.
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But I'm holding out hope that a miracle is going to happen with
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this house. OK, I need all y'all to just
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give me those good vibes because I'm losing my mind over here.
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Once again, not the point. We're coming back.
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So we call him and we're like, hey, we're going to just rent
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while we are living in a new place.
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We are uprooting our whole family.
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We are moving across the country.
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I am pregnant with our third baby.
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At this point, we are just going to rent and figure out what
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neighborhoods we like because that is an insanely important
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thing. Find the community, find the
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people. You could buy the ugliest, worst
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house in the best neighborhood and you can fix it up like you
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can change that house. You can't always change your
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neighbors. You can't always change the
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location. You need to find the area that
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you're in love with that you can see yourself living in for a
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very long time. Which I also do think is one of
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my problems. I have not found a place where I
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want to live for a very long time yet.
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I was getting so close. We had found so many
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neighborhoods in Texas that we were like, oh, we could live in
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this neighborhood or this one. And we were planning to just
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keep renting. We were planning to hop rentals
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until we found the place that we wanted to invest in.
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OK. Because that is, that's what a
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home is. That's what buying a house is.
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It is an investment and you can't always just get your
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investment money back immediately.
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If you're like, I regret this. Like there's no returns on
15:51
houses. Trust me, if there were, I would
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have done it. I return a lot of things.
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This house would be one of them. OK, so you I'm not anti buying a
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house. I'm anti buying the wrong house
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at the wrong time. I don't think people always
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think it through. And we were raised that owning a
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home was the epitome of success, of adulthood, of you have you
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have reached what is so important in life, owning your
16:24
own home. What they don't tell you is that
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when you own your home, you often have to do things like
16:33
maintain it. New water heaters, new roof, new
16:37
flooring. If your house floods, you know
16:39
you have to fix the hole in the wall.
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Your AC goes out, that's on you. Cancel your trip to Greece.
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OK, that is just that is the price you pay of being a
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homeowner versus when you're renting.
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You can decorate your house so cute.
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You can buy new furniture. You can go on a vacation to
16:58
Florida like you can. You can do different things
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because you're not tied to that house.
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If you don't like your landlords when your contract is up, you
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can piece right out. You need to move.
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You don't have to hope someone buys your house for what you
17:17
need out of it, which I know Realtors are like.
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You don't get to tell people what you need to get out of it.
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You get what you get. No, no, I'm going to tell you
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what I want out of this house and I'm not leaving until I get
17:28
it. OK?
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You may be burying me here because, and I will be bankrupt.
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I will be declaring bankruptcy. You know, me and Michael Scott
17:35
over here declaring we are bankrupt because that is just
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for some people. If you put that money in, you
17:42
want to take that money back, which I think was our biggest
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thing, is that we're like, if we're putting that much money
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and we want at least that much back, if not more, because
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that's like the promise of buying a house.
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You're like, I'm going to get my money back.
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It's coming back to me. I feel it.
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I believe in it. Not always.
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You don't know what the market's going to do.
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I pray everyday multiple times a day for the housing market, OK?
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For interest rates, for a literal miracle, for the seas
18:09
depart for the heavens to open. Walking on water.
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OK, that's what I'm needing at this point.
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But if you have found a place that you love and you want to
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invest in, then yes, buying a home that your mortgage payment
18:26
is not going to be making you live paycheck to paycheck or
18:30
relying on credit cards to survive, then it's an amazing
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thing. It's it is wonderful to have a
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thing that is yours that you feel like you can do whatever
18:40
you want to. You can paint whatever wall, you
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can knock out whatever wall, you can change the flooring, you can
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design it how you want it to make it your own.
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I get it. I am, I am all about that and I
18:52
dream of the day I get to build my dream home.
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But I am not the kind of person that yet should be buying a
18:58
house. I need to be renting 17 more
19:00
houses till I find the place where we want to be.
19:05
Because I want to be able to have my kids grow up in a home
19:09
that they come back to with their spouses, that my grandkids
19:13
are running around the home that we made ours, that they have
19:16
these memories in. But that's just not right now.
19:19
And I think that that's something that's really hard for
19:21
people is that they're like, well, I want it and I want it
19:23
now. One of my best friends, she has
19:28
openly talked to me about her struggle with feeling like she
19:32
is behind because we've owned homes and we've rented homes and
19:37
they have only ever lived either with their family members for
19:40
free or rented apartments. And she's like, you're buying
19:45
another house and we are possibly going back to live with
19:49
my in laws or rent another small apartment.
19:52
Like, I feel like I'm so behind and it's just this toxic feeling
19:57
of I'm missing out. The world's moving on and I'm
20:00
not moving on with it. No.
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Do you know what's better? Making memories with your kids,
20:06
Having parents that they know love them, getting out of credit
20:10
card debt, taking family vacations, you know, having
20:15
those other things. So what if you're renting an
20:18
apartment? So what if they share a room
20:21
till they're 12 and 15? Like who cares if they know that
20:25
they are loved and they're getting great experiences.
20:29
Like owning a home is not peak adulthood anymore.
20:35
Living your life is being financially stable is having
20:41
peace in your life. Traveling or going out with
20:46
friends or being able to, I don't know, splurge on something
20:50
special for yourself is so much more important than owning a
20:56
home that feels mostly empty because you can't afford to
20:59
furnish it, that you can't go out, you can't travel, you can't
21:03
do anything because you're just worried.
21:04
Well, what if something bad happens?
21:06
Because as great as our Arizona house was and that purchase was,
21:10
we had a lot of hiccups the day we closed on our house.
21:14
We move in, I am pregnant with Trace.
21:17
Blake isn't even Blake's 1 1/2 years old.
21:21
And as we are unpacking things, I keep being like, wow, it's
21:25
really hot in here. Y'all, it's Arizona.
21:28
OK, always hot. But it was middle of the summer
21:33
and I'm just like, wow, it's really hot in here.
21:36
And I know I'm pregnant. So I'm like, man, I must be, I
21:39
must be extra warm today. And I go over and I'm pushing
21:42
the air conditioner to go down and go down, and the number
21:46
keeps saying it's going down and we're unloading.
21:48
And I'm like, man, I haven't heard anything kick on.
21:51
There's no way that that's the temp It's.
21:53
And I go back and I check and no, it's just the number's
21:55
rising on the little dial. Yeah, that's never a good sign.
21:59
The day we closed on our house, we found out that the inspection
22:02
had not done its job and that the air conditioner was broken
22:07
in Arizona in June. I'm pregnant with a 1 1/2 year
22:13
old. It was a nightmare.
22:17
Thankfully the people selling the house had to sign.
22:20
It was part of the contract that there was a one year warranty on
22:23
all of those things. But you know what's fun about
22:26
when you own a home is that people want to fight you on
22:28
everything. Insurance, they sure want to
22:30
fight you. Everyone else, they want to
22:32
fight you. They don't want to have to be
22:34
the ones to pay for it. They don't want to be the ones
22:36
coming out to fix it. And then when they are coming
22:38
out to fix it, they are going to take their dear sweet time.
22:42
Five weeks. If you guys don't know me yet by
22:45
now you better believe I called every single day.
22:48
Some days multiple times a day. I yelled, I screamed, I swore, I
22:52
did all the things. I even tried talking nicely
22:55
every now and then. It was rare because I was really
22:57
angry. I cried multiple times on the
23:00
phone. It didn't help, it didn't do
23:03
anything. 5 weeks. We had to move in with my in
23:08
laws and share A room for five weeks.
23:14
We were still having to pay the mortgage on this house, but they
23:16
would not come out to fix our air conditioner until everyone
23:19
finally agreed who had to pay what.
23:21
Fun fact, I didn't pay a dime because that was not my fault.
23:25
So you know, there are, there are hard things that come up
23:29
when you own a home that you have to sacrifice for, that you
23:32
have to be prepared for. And so don't be afraid to rent.
23:37
Don't think that renting is what losers do.
23:41
It's not. Renting gives you freedom.
23:44
Renting gives you power to choose.
23:47
Buying also can be amazing and wonderful.
23:52
I'm still kind of waiting on. I'll let you guys know when this
23:55
house sells how I'm feeling about owning a home after this.
23:58
OK, But what I will say is that never be the person who needs to
24:04
buy a home just to say they own a home because, and this is a
24:08
true story. I couldn't make this up if I
24:10
tried. One day, Taylor was like, I just
24:14
got an e-mail in his huge extended family.
24:18
They have like this e-mail chain and one of his aunts who has
24:25
kind of really distanced herself from the whole family and
24:29
there's been a lot of drama, but not with her.
24:31
She pops up out of nowhere and this woman has, and, you know,
24:37
not bashing on her, but she has been married quite a few times,
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quite a few divorces, quite a few moves.
24:44
She's kind of been all over the place, right?
24:46
No one can ever really keep track of where she is and what
24:48
she's doing and who she's with. And and this e-mail she sends
24:52
out says I'm buying a home and you know, it's expensive.
25:01
If any of you would like to pitch in and send me some money
25:05
to help me with my down payment. And then she's like, I already
25:08
have this much saved and mom, which is my husband's grandma
25:12
gave me this much money. But if anyone else would like to
25:16
pitch in, I about lost my mind. M excuse me?
25:24
So I was like, oh, OK. Are they taking applications?
25:26
Like, should I submit why we deserve to have people pay our
25:29
mortgage? I mean, these people didn't ask
25:31
us to buy a house. These people did not choose the
25:34
house that we bought. And yet I oh, are we going to.
25:37
Here's my Venmo. OK.
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Do you guys want to send me some money to help me pay my monthly
25:41
mortgage? In what world is it anyone
25:45
else's responsibility but your own to pay your bills?
25:49
No one told you to buy a house. It is not necessary.
25:54
You can rent. She also doesn't have small kids
25:57
at home anymore. Like I think it's honestly just
25:59
her at this point. What do you need to buy a house
26:03
for? Who are you trying to prove
26:06
anything to? OK don't be that person.
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Please, I'm begging you, if you make a financial decision you
26:14
better be the one that can pay those bills.
26:15
Because do not be asking me for money for your bills when I'm
26:20
over here contemplating selling feet pics, OK?
26:25
Just to be able to pay my mortgage.
26:27
Don't tempt me. So I guess my opinion at this
26:31
point is whether you want to rent or buy, just don't ask
26:34
people to pay your bills for you.