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Doubt Can Take a Backseat: It's Your Turn to Drive · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 88.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Before we dive into today's topic, I've got something exciting to share.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I'm currently writing my very first book Start your Comeback.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's packed with the real stuff stories of what it means to rebuild your life, including my own, like the time I stood in my very first apartment, surrounded by boxes, and thought, what if I can't do this?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that moment's in there too.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: This book isn't just inspiration.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: It's your game plan for rebuilding.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I cannot wait to get it to you.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: So here we are.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: We've walked through shock when life knocks the wind out of you.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: We've sat in limbo where every decision looks like a foggy highway and we seem to be in this wilderness forever.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: And now we're talking about reentry, that moment when it's time to stand up, step forward and reengage with your life.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Just when you're ready to move in comes a familiar voice.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You're not ready.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: When I heard that voice loud and clear, when I signed the lease on my first apartment, I remember holding the keys in my hand and, instead of feeling proud, I felt paralyzed.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I was afraid I couldn't take care of myself, afraid the money wouldn't stretch, afraid of being alone.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I was re-entering life in a new way and doubt was riding shotgun, shouting directions I didn't ask for.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So today we're going to finish talking about doubt, resilience and how to hear that voice and still move forward anyway.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So the first thing is is we have to accept it.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: We have to call it what it is.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Doubt doesn't show up quietly, it screams in the silence.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And when you're stepping into something new, especially after a loss or change, doubt shows up, dressed as anxiety, indecision and second guessing.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Ask me how I know.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: That first apartment taught me something about that.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't need to pretend I wasn't fearless.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I had to accept that I was afraid.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I had to admit that I didn't know exactly what I was doing.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: But accepting it didn't make me weak, it made me real.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: You cannot build resilience without truth.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Own the fear, then stare it down.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Number two your tribe.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: You've got to trust the right voices.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: In that season of fear, I had people in my corner friends, mentors, folks who didn't coddle me but who reminded me I was stronger than I felt when I'd call and say, hey, what if I can't pay the bills, or what if I'm not cut out for this?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: They didn't rush to rescue me, but they did remind me You've done hard things, you'll do this too.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: That's what your tribe is for Not to rescue you, but to reflect back the truth about who you are.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: You need people who don't let you shrink just because you're scared.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: But they can't carry your confidence.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: You have to learn to carry that yourself.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Number three escape the noise and stop outsourcing your peace.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I can still remember sitting on the floor of that apartment, staring at my bank app and scrolling social media, comparing my behind-the-scenes struggle to someone else's highlight reel.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: We've all done that.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: It was a big mistake, because doubt thrives in that kind of noise.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I had to shut it all down, literally turn it off, to find the courage to say I can do this, one day at a time.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You cannot build resilience if you're constantly outsourcing your peace to Instagram your mama or that one blog post that says you're doing it all wrong.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Peace comes from silence, and silence makes room for clarity and clarity invites confidence.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Number four get out of your head and say it out loud.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Number four get out of your head and say it out loud One of the most healing things I ever did.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: In that season.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I told someone the truth.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I said I'm afraid I can't take care of myself.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And they looked at me and said but you already are.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that's all it takes getting the fear out of your head and into the air, where it loses its power.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: When we give doubt a voice but don't challenge it, it becomes our narrator.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: When we say it out loud, when we challenge it with truth, it shrinks.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: So write it, speak it and confess it, because when you do, you take the pen back, you become the narrator again.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: You get your voice back.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Doubt doesn't mean you're broken.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: It means you care.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: It means you want to get this next step right.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Here's the truth.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: You've survived what you thought would break you.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: You've survived what you thought would break you.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: You've rented the apartment Big decision.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You're paying the bills Other big decisions.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: You've figured out more than you thought possible.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: You're not the same person who once needed everyone's opinion to move forward.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: You're stronger now, wiser, tougher.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: You've made hard decisions.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: You believe them to be true and good.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You've made hard decisions.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You believe them to be true and good.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You've lived through shock.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: You've endured limbo, the wilderness, and now you're re-entering with grit in your gut and wisdom in your bones.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: This isn't about getting it perfect.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: It's about giving yourself permission.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: It's about giving yourself permission, permission to move, permission to decide, permission to begin again, even if doubt's still whispering, because this time you're not listening.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you where is doubt stealing your voice?
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Where are you holding back?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Not because you're not ready, but because you're afraid of being wrong.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Here's the deal.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: There's no perfect decision, but there's progress, there is movement and there is momentum.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Think about those questions.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Schedule a coaching call today.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: The link is in the show notes.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'll help you quiet the noise.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Face your fears and make decisions you can live with ones rooted in truth, not terror.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: You've already started your comeback.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: This step is just the next chapter.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: You have permission to make the decision, because we're not playing it safe anymore, because you've already walked through the wilderness.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You've rebuilt your strength.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Now it's time to trust it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: You're driving.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Now Doubt can take a backseat.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Buckle up, you've got places to go.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: You.