Latest / The Vincere Project / Episode 30. Wrong Person at the Wrong Time
Transcript
- Vince: All right. Middle of October, little Columbus Day action or Indigenous Persons Day, or whatever you want to call it, whatever you need it to be. But I dig Columbus, man. I I just look at this dude that he did four deployments across the Atlantic, go hang out in the Americas, and then my grandfather would say he got there and he saw some of the Taino broads and was like, huh. have a girlfriend here in Hispaniola and then I'm gonna go back to Catherine back in Europe and do my thing, right? Freaking guy was an operator before the operators even existed. But yeah, I think that's what happened. I think he was an explorer and he was an action guy and he went on his journey and the loyalties and all the the Catholic monarchs, man, and they were doing their thing, just making the world better. And it's the story I tell. And then the you know the indigenous person thing, right? Like I get it, man. Probably one of the first documented flawed immigration policies. You know, it's like, man, maybe they needed to be more aggressive and violent with the with the invaders. I don't know. But they're they're still here. So maybe they didn't, right? Maybe there's a little bit of conflicts were just a natural evolution of the way things unfold and improve, get better. You know, I don't I don't know, I'm just ramble a little bit, but yeah, I like that day. I like that holiday. It was good. It was good. Yeah, the H-Hour Dream Team has been formed. I'm not part of it, apparently. That's what I found out in the group chat. I'm offended, but not offended in a personal way, I need to do something. I'm offended the way the my the way my wife delivered it. she's got the vet retreat all set up, and her and the the dream team are organizing this to make it work, which is amazing, and I think it's awesome. But all of a sudden now it's the like the chat is relabeled Dream Team since she became the CEO. I just find that kind of like A little bit a power grab on the spreadsheet. And that that's okay. I think it's a good thing because the veterans are gonna benefit the guests, their families long after, or all gonna leave there. asking a better question about where they're at in their journey or their transformation from whatever service was or excuse me, whatever phase of life they're in, that's what's gonna happen that weekend. So it's gonna be good. When you hear this, this it'll probably all be ongoing and I'll be in character and people get a little dose of Dr. Vince, it'll be good. But she tells me the point being I get a little upset and pissy about hey, what do you mean I'm not included? because I like I took it like a personal way, like I'm not included in that. Like there's I don't want to be included in many things. Actually I care less of included in really anything, to be perfectly honest. but my family and then like my business is H Hour Vincere Project stuff, I kinda wanna be aware of. I still have I've had this sense of power control, but it's she pointed it's it's also a growth thing. You don't time. You just don't have the means, resources, and cognitive bandwidth to to take this on and apply any sort of insight, perspective, or use or value. And she said, hey, you know, it's a good rule you share with me and other people all the time is stay away from the wrong people, not as a label of judgment in terms of they're a malevolent, evil, or or bad person. They lie, cheat, or steal, or whatever their version is of bad. You know? it's more along the lines of stay away from the wrong people in the sense of the task that you're accomplishing or trying to do. Right. And so y you know, my experience would say that I've had multiple careers and experiences and it's a wide range of things, some outside the boundaries of what would be socially acceptable and and some well within the framework. That's where I operate now, right? And I think there's there's three versions of that. And it's interesting how it's guided by faith and tax. you know, is about who are the wrong people to stay away from or not. And for me, I prefer not to be around taxpayers that are just loyal sheep, just trying to ship it to the government half their paycheck. I think that's kinda odd behavior. I'm also not a tax evader any longer, right? I don't think that's prudent or wise. You go to jail for that. That's bad for business and reputation, right? And that can happen. I'm a tax avoider. I think it's an American birthright. And I think if you're not considering how to do that, that's part of it, right? So I try to find other people aligned like that. Like, hey, I wanna I wanna incentivize other people to do things that are valuable for other people, and then I can gain a benefit from the the reward. I wanna house people for whatever duration of time, whether it is in rental format and or a long term, right, or public housing or however, whatever, you you know, you get rewarded for housing people. Get rewarded for employing people. Rewarded for giving back, you get rewarded for doing things, creating an activity in motion and momentum, right? And I think that that that motion thing that creates more motion, right? It's all predicated and built upon momentum and all the good physical lessons, right? And physics applies there as well. I think the veteran did that. Like people are mo they're in a transformative phase and they're looking for a particular thing, and you think about it as a land navigation course, it's just a waypoint. It's like, I'm at checkpoint one, I'm I'm back. In school or making my appointments or managing my health and going to physical therapy because the hoof or the back or the paw has been banged up from service or whatever the thing is. Man, people go through this difficult stuff. Had a TBI, I'm making my vestibular therapy now, right? Sort of getting recognized some the patterns of things that I struggle with, whatever those things might be. And and I think that's what we said for people. So it's never too deep or emotional, but it's a closeness. It's more of that camaraderie, brotherhood, sisterhood kind of thing. And you get you get a little different version of Vince to get some of the the some of the irreverent humor that's healthy and good for everybody. And I enjoy those. Me they're sacred for Mary and I we get to be part of them and partner with people that are doing much bigger things than us, really. We're we're just a by product of being around the right people. You know, I'm an expert in that, man. Yeah, if I want to find drugs, guns, crime, prostitution, gambling, I can find all that. Quick, fast, hurry, every town, anywhere, anytime. But like I just that's just part of it, right? Is human behavior gravitates. If I want to find health and growth and learning and development, I can find those things too. I'm an expert at that. You know, and I and I encourage people to do that. But stay away from the wrong people. What are trying to do, man? If you if you're trying to if you're trying to get clean, you can't be around people getting high. And if you're trying to get high, you can't be around clean people. It doesn't work that way. If I if I want to be a square and lame in a good way, a nerd, whatever, I can't be committed crimes. Right? And there's this misnomer that you can be both and and the truth is you can't mean white collar crimes, you know, you know, violent crimes, they're all interconnected in some way, shape, or form. They're violations. You know. that stuff always comes up at the vet retreats, not in the sense of crime, but in the sense of like, hey, what good, bad, and evil might look like. And they're all different things. Security beach is coming up, Mary Book That Out man. That thing's all sold out. Like I'm I'm just impressed, man. I'm just impressed. I'm just impressed. Impressed. I think it's gonna be just good, man. It makes people more more compassionate to how lethal they can be within their mental models and frameworks. Meaning, like the question becomes it's like, hey, can I just get rid of this person in my life or add this type of person into my life? And can I can I make the adaptations and adjustments to be resilient enough to earn the right to have that relationship? That's the tricky and hard part, is because that's credibility and trustworthiness, right? And so if we have the worldview and framework model that trust. is just a practice. we reserve the right to trust and not trust who we need to or want to. And that's just discernment. Right. And a lot of it starts with making decisions about who you're gonna be or and how you're gonna be around them, what you're gonna do with that time, effort and energy, you know, and and I think that's that's what secure the beach is. It's a it's it's a a test. It's a testament to somebody's Transformation or transition, I guess, maybe spring into the fall, or summer into the fall, or fall into the winter, and whatever they have going on. But walking on the beach for four hours, I think, tells a lot about somebody and helps create and develop some closeness. And I'm excited. Excited to see what they come up with. It's gonna be good, man. It's going to be good. Going to be good. But speaking of speaking about staying away from the wrong people, man, is Few years ago, right, I had a student come up to me in graduate school. It's the very first graduate class I'm teaching, right? And I had clients in the beginning as my creatives, I had soldiers try to do this in the military. this is a leadership thing, dude. I'm telling you. I and in playing sports it happened in in in in sports it would happen periodically, right? And you know, whether you're formally assigned a leadership role or you're not, right, eventually the designation just becomes what it is, man. Who's on the field or ice or court at the end of the game? like every level, right? Rec league to to the professional leagues, right? Who's on the field, the court, the ice, whatever at the end of the game is much more telling than who starts the game. Right? 'Cause that's credibility and trustworthiness that gets built up over a long period of time. Right. And that's about leverage. The added value is leverage in terms of what the expected performance is at that point in time in the game. You know, that's the mark of being a professional and being able to execute in action those things. But back to that leadership thing, right? It's always going to be met with resistance, you know, at a whatever degree in whatever way, shape, or form. And there are is an infinite number of stories and plots and examples where people have demonstrated incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible leadership. They have shown the world from start to finish of how you can deliver magic and create magic and make magic. That I think is is important to note. But for me, how it has shown up on a personal level is it's been accelerated by building a small business, right? It's self-leadership, right? The goal and pursuit of becoming an independent investor while simultaneously being the best in town at counseling, has is it's just just an infinite pursuit that's never going to end. However, let's talk about in group settings how things show up as resistance, right? And you think about you know, on on the ball field or in sports, you're trying to create an outcome, right? You're you're trying to have something happen and you're trying to tap into potential. Now you can go back and forth about whether it's actionable potential or absolute potential or limited but whatever type of potential, right? And you can geek out all the way down to a philosophical worldview or or scientific worldview in terms of physics and things like that or electrical engineering as well, right? So whatever. The but the point is this is in terms of potential as an idea or concept is that hey, we believe that there is potential to improve or grow, change things. Because most people would say, I don't plan on being mediocre, right? That's not how we think about ourselves. So alternatively though, is I believe the behaviors and sports are exactly that. The young student athletes that make the weight room are going to be the biggest, strongest, fastest, best players. The ones that make the weight room the most on their own time are going to play much longer than the ones that do not. Now there's always gonna be outliers and people will point to that guy never lifted weights and he was a genetic specimen. There's part of that. And then we can turn it over and flip it over and we can look at the military and I would tell you that like, yeah, it's met with resistance. Up until the point of sometimes sometimes that violence has to be created, like a little one-on-one, two v1. bative something something, right? You y that is the how that culture figures that stuff out. Not appropriate for everywhere. And but you can find that in the civilian world too. Like there are tough guy cultures everywhere. Boxing gyms, jujitsu, Jiu Jitsu, Judo, kickboxing, Muay Thai, any sort of of combative space fighting like type of thing. That's a tough guy, culture man. You know, and so treatment and leadership matter a lot. And treatment meaning treatment of other people in that space matters a lot because you have people that can hurt some other people. The military's like that too. And then in business and then in the classroom. But anyway, I had a student at the end of my first graduate class. rambling here but I get to the point. At the end of the class, they just felt safe enough to share with me that like, hey Dr. Reese, I don't feel like you you made it like I want like, you know, you didn't encourage me to be here or like make me feel like I I I I should want to be here or to be at a certain level or doing certain things. And you know, for me as like I appreciated the student's courage. Right? Like it takes a degree of courage or audacity, depending on how you look at She's naive, ignorant, courageous, however you tell. But I thought it was courage, right? But it wasn't very thoughtful how she delivered So I made sure there was another student or two there when when she shared this. And then I pumped the brakes and and I pointed out to her. It's like my job in role in relationship to you is not to encourage, support you to be here. You self selected when you volunteered and applied to the program. You're now in it. And so as such, I I'm a gatekeeper to the next part of this for you. Not a gatekeeper in the sense of here to deny or make it more difficult than it already is, because it is difficult to do. But this is a practitioner-based degree. And most things in this life are going to be practitioner-based is what I would submit to you. And that's the part that people don't like. People don't like the fact that staying away from the wrong people is the start point. And then making, making this thesis and organizing your life around it about how. I'm going to be in the future in connection or relationship to this thing. It takes a degree of commitment that many folks aren't willing to give to it. So then they wonder why they can't outperform their peer groups or their colleagues. And I think that's a tricky, tricky thing to try to teach, encourage, or express to people is because, you know, if you look at at teaching and developing and growth, and I'm just using counseling and this student as the example, but we can go all the way back through, you know, sports, the military, working on not for profits, is that like Just because I can show somebody something doesn't mean that I'm effectively able to teach them that. And I and I would say that like that is the differentiator in all of it. And and then if you look over, flip it around, I like I like I like boxing, right? It's like if somebody throws a left hook, right? We all know it's identifiable that we saw a left hook once it's been described or defined to us. However, alternatively, it's like every single human being is gonna throw that left hook slightly differently. You know, yet the fundamentals are gonna remain sound, right? So the role back to the counseling thing is very similar to that, is that as a practitioner-based thing is that when I'm teaching somebody how to assess, evaluate, measure frequency, duration, intensity, like within a cognitive behavioral therapy framework, like the there is a very specific series and sequencing of things that that person has to be able to do in order for me to even introduce the process of coming up with that sequence, and then even on top of that, identify, hey, these are the systemic processes or other things that are overlay how and why you have to do the work like this. And so I think for that student at that moment, is as much as they felt like they were justified and determining or saying whatever they needed to say, the the the the point remains is that like skill acquisition is by far the most difficult thing for people to wrap their head around because nobody wants to suck. And in the beginning of anything is you have to suck. You have to feel uncomfortable, you have to feel stuck. And you have to wander into undefined areas that are are difficult. And then you have to iterate and keep iterating. And then eventually you get to the next level, right? And you pick up some good patterns. It's intermediate in terms of skill acquisition, some habits, rituals, and practices to serve and make me better. And then in that pursuit of mastery, you got to go back down to the canyons and the ravines and the darkness and the swamps and go through all that to get back up to and ascend in the direction of mastery. And I think that's what it is on a personal level for me is I like to be a good role model for clients and my family and friends. Hey, my my relationship to the world is to to to you know to be an investor in terms of my physical down through financial health. but simultaneously I just so happen to do counseling. And it's a pretty beautiful thing. and me and Brooke delivering you know, some supportive counseling groups with Davis Dream and Believe kind of going into this fall and serving and supporting commuting, you know, committing to the mission. Right. And our goal and role in relationship to the world around us is either we do things for a premium or or or we do them per bono because it fits and it aligns with our mission and our narrative. And you know, that's what makes having a business partner valuable is if you're working closely with somebody, you have overlapping values, you can always make some really, really good things happen. And and I think that's that's part of what we're trying to do, man. But Yeah, last podcast. Brock and a brill fired up at the 88 miler. That's gonna be good. I'm interested to see what happens with that since I've been raw dogging and not really training as much as I need to. And it's totally gonna be whiny vents somewhere in the pine barrens. but maybe it's not whiny vents. Maybe it's just encourage optimistic and helpful vents, you know. But I 20 hours is it for 88 miles. I think it's a good capstone to the to the fall. But I also think I'm gonna go back to lifting weights after this. I'm kind of skinny. I don't feel really strong. I got it on the bench the other day and it just was not moving the way I needed it to. I'm not like a big bench press guy, but I do think it is a requisite lift, kind of like the squad deadlift. Numbers ain't there right now. So you know it's weird, man. I I told my uncle, hey, doing the CD mile, or I'm gonna go see him after. And he's like he's like, about your age is when I was my strongest. But he's funny too. Like he'll look at the targets, like we go shooting, we went shooting, right? And they're like, I'm disrespecting my rifle. And I'll shake his head. What did they teach you guys? That wouldn't have worked for us. Like I don't know I don't know if you c could have been with us and say stuff like that. Yeah, it's called love. Yeah, it's a good thing. Cool. Fall, we're here. Indigenous people. Columbus Day, whatever you needed it to be, it's yours. Got the vet retreat coming. Secure the beach November first. Is it a trick or treat? What do you do with that extra hour? They got their themes. It's gonna be great. But yeah, stand away from the wrong people. I think that's the ingredient, that's the sauce we need, man. And last week, you know, it was good to have Brock on board and He's finishing grad school, doing his thing, and he's on his way to do whatever he's gonna do. And there's plenty of folks in his cohort out there that are doing these great things just the same. And it's it's just a plur privilege always to be part of that. But yeah, you your job in relationship to other people is to make them want to be there. That's you're not there to sell anybody. You want to put yourself in rooms and places where people have a desire and and they have the will to be there. And I think that's important, right? There's a physical and mental connection without a doubt. And whether you believe in the spirit or not, the the physical mental connection is pretty established, right? And it kinda has a universal take or n no matter how how flat the earth is in your story, right? Physical and mental are connected. The spirit part, people argue back and forth and I don't get too upset about that. I would say that in spite of that, I would say it comes down to the will. no matter what. And I think you can measure it. I think in certain circumstances or conditions, peepi people will release certain neurotransmitters in a timely fashion that is a form of genetic expression, right? So meaning when the war, the famine, the resistance, the difficulty, the challenge, the tough times or whatever it is that shows up, they just get to it and get busy, man. And I think that goes back to that whole Columbus thing and cultures and civilizations interconnecting and who hurt who and who did what. I mean that's just history that's been written over and over again. I think it was it was much more of an exciting moment in time when people started to interconnect and interact and and then I think when things got miscommunicated, there was the breakdown and and there's nothing new under the sun and that stuff. But man, there'll be a breakdown of that eighty eight miler, like I said before. I'm looking forward to it. And I'm already like four minutes over. I don't know. Keep the podcast going. That's what we're gonna do. All good. Cheers.