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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Humility of Service and the Burden of Authority 4.13.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Is the middle of analyzing how a person carries himself in a
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  humble way. And one of the big items are
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  being uninterested in positions of authority, saying to
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  yourself, I don't need to cover that position.
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  It doesn't do me so much good. It's not really beneficial for
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  me, maybe even more detrimental or destructive for me.
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  And that's the sign of humility, because authority people
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  consider a sense of control and power and prominence and
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  spotlight. And the idea of humility is
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  saying, I realize, I realize what those things really are and
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  they're just a burden. Being a leader is a great thing,
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  but only because you're taking responsibility, not because you
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  gain honor. So he says on 461 third line,
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  I'm not ha Hamim the madash writes the cavote Eno ella Havil
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  Havalim, the caval that a person gets.
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  But being in a position is nothing ham.
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  It's not, it's nothing this ham Vita dama Dato and makes a
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  person do things he otherwise would not do, vow doubt, go no
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  and go against Hashem's will and forget his obligations of life.
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  That means a person coveting or being in such a big position, he
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  ends up acting not like he was raised, not like the way he
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  believed to act, and he ends up going against Hashem's will, he
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  says very often. And he ends up not focusing on
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  his obligations, the position and his needs and his need to be
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  prominent in that position is such a strong drive that ends up
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  wiping away anything else. And he's so driven to hold that
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  position, to be well known in that position to be a big deal.
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  This is how authority works. And a person that say themselves
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  what's worth, all it's going to do is take me away from who I am
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  and who I want to be. In fact, I'm more sure I've
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  been. Who gave over you the job to
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  Yoshua? You're sure I've been?
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  Who knew? Knew that it's not worth it?
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  I'm more sure to convince Joshua Hashem, tell Moshe Beno,
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  convince him to take the job. Convince him to take the most
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  prominent job in the world, in the Jewish world.
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  Yeah, because Yoshua was aware of the real reality and
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  authority carries and that his authority puts you in a position
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  to not be yourself. A lot of people, when they're
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  regular, just run in the middle life.
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  They able to be everything they need to be.
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  They able to be a good father and a good husband and honest.
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  They able to act the right way, have proper character, talk the
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  right way. They're not really motivated to
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  do the wrong thing as much. Whereas the power of the
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  position pushes a person, no matter what the position may be.
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  You could say it's rabbi, leader, president, board member,
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  Miss I did, you name it. The position pushes a person to
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  hold on to it, to be prominent in it and to go against his
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  classic values. That's the idea.
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  Omisha Makido vadai, if someone is aware of this, she is now
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  he's going to detest. And now I really like positions
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  of power. Yeah, but he gets praise, He
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  gets credit, he gets honor. People say his name.
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  It's not worth it. It's only an add to the burden
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  of this person. It's not worth it.
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  Keep it Otto or Tom Magdalene. Because this honest person in
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  that position, as he sees them giving him credit for things he
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  didn't do and making him into a bigger deal than he is.
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  And this is very common when they make people in positions of
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  authority into a major deal, they either kill him or they
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  build them into a mashiach. There's no down in the middle,
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  right? Either talk about him all day
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  long and destroy him, or they make him the biggest deal.
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  And neither of those are good. Being destroyed is a very
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  difficult position to be in. The position of authority and
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  being made into something that you're not is also something
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  that's a sketch. And yeah, you like the honor
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  originally, but all the time he started to dislike it.
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  He started to test it. Because if you're a genuine,
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  real person, you said there's nothing, right?
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  You should always see who you are.
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  Exactly. Yeah.
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  But these positions make you not that.
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  Good about Sephardic, they change the leaders all the time.
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  Right, I understand. I think about that sometimes.
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  I think a couple of years. I think it can be very demanding
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  and a person who realizes that that position, they have a big
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  response, yeah. But there's no, no, no mentality
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  of power. Everybody who takes that.
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  Position. I admire them, yeah.
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  Sure, just hard work all he's doing when he eventually, you
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  know, he gets credit of being a big deal and then, you know,
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  eventually people realize maybe, you know, he's known to be the
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  biggest source of halacha, but he's not or the biggest speaker
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  out there, but he's not or the biggest, greatest advisor in any
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  situation. And reality is he's not.
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  So the position of authority allows him to rise to those
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  heights, makes him at one point feel very good about himself,
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  but inevitably ends up reality hits and people know him for
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  what he really is. So it's just not worth it.
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  It's not worth it to get that embarrassment.
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  It's not worth it to go through his highs and lows.
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  And that's what these positions of powers puts a person in.
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  Elia mizu Allah tilo chicken lamani colenio too.
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  People make him into a bigger deal only to eventually
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  humiliate him. It's just not worth it.
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  So a person needs to no, being in the position of authority is
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  really a dangerous position. It's really a very delicate 1.
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  It's not worth it for the cavort purpose.
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  Not worth it for the praise, the good feel, the connections and
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  being well known. All that eventually will doubt
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  well will literally even out and balance out with all the
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  challenge and the headache and the annoyance and the reality
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  and the the weakness of character that he's very prone
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  to become. So it's just not worth it.
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  And that overall understanding that is humility.
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  And another display of humility, I was about to tell us, is
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  treating other people yourself. You don't want the coward.
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  You realize what it's going to lead to.
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  Other people giving them great cowards is a major, major sign
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  of humility. This is very important.
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  If you greet other people well, you recognize every person in
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  the room. If you're aware of everyone's
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  existence, if you recognize what they're going through, if you
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  talk to them as if they're worth something, all these elements,
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  this. So we just dealt with, first of
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  all, your own position of authority.
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  Do away with that. Now we deal with, on the other
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  hand, giving everyone else their prominence and their
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  significance and their honor and their recognition and their
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  existence. That is a very small position to
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  be in. To be in a position on top of
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  people, not worth it. To be in a position that treats
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  other people well, very worth. Let's see inside haloq hakavod
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  la colada giving other people cavod is a very powerful, the
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  4th of year degree of humility, and it's a very important degree
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  of humility. And who is a person who deserves
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  honor? Who will get honor?
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  One who treats other people with this past.
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  I feel divided. It says if you know about your
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  friend that he has one up on you in any area, in business and
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  family and wisdom and talent, you name it and he has a one up
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  on you, you give him cavoid. The right thing to do is to be a
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  person who's always finding a way to give other people cavoid.
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  Be makabe other people. So you don't want authority
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  yourself, but you want to treat other people around you as if
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  they have and they deserve and they are a big deal.
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  Treat them, build them up. Don't try to build yourself up.
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  You build yourself up. You're you're literally prone to
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  failure. You build them up.
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  You are you are on your way to success.
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  It's the opposite of what our mind thinks and our mind thinks
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  I need to feel good because I need to feel good.
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  I need to be treated like I'm a big deal.
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  That will go the wrong way. The opposite however, is you
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  want to feel good. You want to be good.
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  Treat other people like they're a big deal.
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  Let them think there's something.
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  Let them have the last word. Let them be prominent.
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  Let them feel good. When they walk into the room,
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  stand up for them, give them the cover.
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  That'll that'll overall be better off for you.
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  And the other way around, the first way, which is I'm a big
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  deal, I want to feel good about myself, will only backfire.
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  The other way, which is their big deal, I'm going to treat
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  them like this. Something will only have a
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  positive impact for them and even for you.
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  That's OK to show here. Humble humility is on display in
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  these two examples, but the theme is that it's better off
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  for you this way. The less prominent than it is
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  more prominent. Do we hear this concept?
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  You hear it? Sensitivity.
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  Yeah. But if the key is who is getting
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  the Cavoto here? Is it me or is it you?
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  If it's me, I think I feel good. I won't.
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  If it's you, I'll be better off and you'll be feeling better as
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  well. And in fact, I'll be more
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  successful. That's what you do.
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  She's telling over here, right? Who is the Mahubat?
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  Who's the one that gets more honor?
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  The one who gives more honor. It's such a strange thing to
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  imagine, but if I would recognize every person in this
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  room over time, that would make me feel good.
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  That'll build me up. Even though what I'm doing is
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  giving all of you respect, That'll eventually build me up
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  and work back for me to give me respect.
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  That's ideas telling you it what is required.
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  It requires humility. Without humility, you can't even
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  notice the room. Without humility can't even
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  recognize the people around you. You can't even be aware that
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  they exist. You never get to this point.
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  It requires humility to get here, but when you do, you're
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  better off for your own sake. Imagine I told you have two
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  choices. You can be the president of an
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  organization, or you can be a regular guy that treats other
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  people with respect. Which one will give you more
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  real, lasting respect? Guaranteed.
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  You say the president. The reality is the letter.
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  The reality is, being a regular guy, me and guy who walks on
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  with the people but treats him well, over time, builds up a
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  larger, more substantial, more real relationship with people
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  and builds up more prominence in their eyes as a regular person
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  than it does the role, the title, the position, the name
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  and notoriety, the famousness. All that does not reach the
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  level of the first guy. That's so surprising.
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  But it's the theme that you see why when a person has a position
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  of authority, they are running the risk of 1000 things.
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  And one of them is they're running all these issues.
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  People are jealous of them, people don't like them, people
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  have to talk about them. People either build them up too
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  much, as we said, or take them down too much as we said.
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  Instead, if a person's a regular person but just treats other
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  people the right way, you are guaranteed to have a following
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  and to have a great large fan base even as you're a regular
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  person. But you just built everyone up
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  and they therefore want to like you.
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  They want a connection to you. To get this, you need humility.
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  There's a team he's telling us fortune have about Dean Shalom
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  Kolodam. Make sure the first that you're
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  the first person that says hello.
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  We walk, we bump into each other who says hello first?
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  That's a sign of who's smarter in this angle and who's hitting
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  the jackpot in this perspective more.
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  The one who says hello first is better off on this track.
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  Shiloh Adam Shalom Now one single person got to say hello
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  to him first before he greeted them.
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  Even the random non Jew in the marketplace, he said hello to
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  every single person and he got there first.
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  He greeted them before they greeted him.
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  That is a perfect display of this concept.
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  The humility to prop up other people instead of the need to be
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  propped up yourself. You prop them up, you build them
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  up, you give them, you give them hello, recognition, existence
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  you have. You may feel like you're not
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  being so Cavoi driven for yourself.
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  Feel better about yourself. That's it.
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  I'm just telling you, you feel so much better, right?
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  Ben bedi bull Ben masim hayav like no cavoi have it up.
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  Whether it be with words or actions, our way is to give
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  other people respect. That is the concept, right?
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  And he gives so many different examples.
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  You know, it's wild. It's fits perfectly, as the next
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  line says, into the season that we're in right now.
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  We're in the almond mourning period.
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  What is it about? Because the students will be at
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  Kiva on their level. What does it say?
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  It doesn't say they destroy each other, that they didn't treat
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  each one the way they would deserve to be treated.
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  And the job of a Jew, the job of this level is every single
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  person deserves a hello. Every person deserves a
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  greeting. This he's telling you right, the
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  punishment was very strong, sure as soon as it would be by the
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  fact that they passed away because exactly it's a very
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  difficult punishment, but the theme is extremely important.
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  It's unbelievably important theme and so happens to be it's
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  one of my favorite themes out there, which is I see people who
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  walk you ever go to a place they walk right by you like how do
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  they walk by me? How do they just ignore me?
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  And then if you're on vacation somewhere and just you and them,
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  they come over, they say, Elizabeth, what's up shot shot
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  is they could be absent minded, but also could be when they buy
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  a wedding and there's, you know, Joe important and Steve wealthy
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  and there's me, right, They're right by me.
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  When you're on vacation, it's just you and him.
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  Oh, I see the millionth face. Let's talk.
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  The same greeting is required when you buy a hotsy totsy
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  wedding as it is when you're on vacation.
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  Every person is a person. Most prominent, most important
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  thing to notice, every person is a person, everyone, and they all
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  deserve a hello. They all deserve a minute,
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  everyone. And if you're that type of guy,
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  he'll be very successful and he'll actually be extremely well
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  liked. Not that that's our overall
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  goal, but it's the truth. Other way, not so much.
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  Stop with this, Zuckerberg.