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Stop Playing Small: Discover Your Strengths and Own Your Power · The Inspired Speaker Network

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You are listening to The Awakening Woman on the Rise. If you are a woman who is
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seeking to live a more authentic life but are feeling not enough to step out fully
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just yet, you are in the right place. If you are a woman who is looking to live
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your personal truth and make the impact you truly desire, you are in the right
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place. I'm your host, Wendy Yacboski. Let's step out in this together. Welcome
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everyone to this call, which I am really, really excited about. I have as a special
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guest, Betsy Clark, who is a woman that's been doing so much for many years, an
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entrepreneur, a founder of Coach2Strengths, and a transformation
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strategist. One of the things that I feel excited about for our conversation
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is that I believe that many of the women, and men, but the women that are
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listening to this podcast are those that have a dream or a desire that they've
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been told they can't have, they believe they can't have, they don't know how to
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start believing that they can have, and so they don't move forward. And clearly
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you, Betsy, have continued to move forward because I trusted each one of us
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that I had moments like, what am I thinking doing this? So welcome, Betsy,
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I'm sorry. Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited to see where our
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conversation goes and what evolves and hopefully it will be of service to those
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that listen. That really is the intention. Yes, well one of the things
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that certainly attracted me to you apart from yourself when I first met you
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was your, what I call your handle, so that's coaching to strengths. And one of
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the things, again, that I think about and I've experienced this myself, that
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asking them what their strengths are, they don't know. They know what
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they've been doing in their life, they know what they should be doing, but to
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actually say, these are my strengths, these are the things I really value
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about myself. So many falter and I really want to help people find a way
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that strengths feel normal. It's part of moving through life and an essential
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part of moving through lives. Do you have anything that you'd like to say
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about that, Betsy? Well, I think that's a great question because so often you say,
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well, like what's right with you? And women, they falter, they don't really
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know how to articulate that and it's a guess kind of sort of maybe. And I
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really want to help women have a definitive clarity on I am high in
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empathy, I'm high in communication, I'm high in positivity, I'm high in
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empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm
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high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in
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empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm
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high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in
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high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm high in empathy, I'm
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high in clothed-with 44, I'm high, I'm position good. So for every
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time I've heard that in the last 15 years, I could retire because here's
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the deal, Wendy, you think everybody thinks the way you do and they
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don't. So that's what makes you uniquely brilliant in the area that
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you are drawn to. You trust that and then I give words to women. I
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not feeling like you're being braggadocious,
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no brag, just fact, this is my truth.
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And what makes it especially potent, I believe,
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is you not only know what you bring to the table,
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which is necessary to be a contributor
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and to really step into your power.
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But there's another thing that I think as women,
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we underestimate is talking about what we need,
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because we do not want to be seen as high needs or needy.
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Heaven forbid we have a need
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and put our needs above someone else's.
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But at the end of the day, oftentimes we get to a place
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where we start burning out because we have put ourselves
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at the bottom of the list for so long.
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And the way I reframe needs, it's, you know,
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these are the things that yes,
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you do need to be fully expressed,
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but these are the things that energize you.
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And so for you to be a sustainable woman in your calling,
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you need to be able to declare your needs.
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I need this, I suffered during COVID
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because I'm high in woo, which is winning others over.
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And I'm an extrovert if you wanna believe in that term.
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And I needed to be around people to be energized
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and to be in my sunroom for three years
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with this enforced stay at home.
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It was my undoing and it took me a long time
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to embrace the fact that I need people
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in order to be energized and fully expressed.
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And so I think those little nuances are so helpful.
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And St. Augustine said,
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delivering us from the lust of always having
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to justify ourselves, we have to justify.
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Well, I don't mean to be high needs,
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but this is, and it's like, girl, own it.
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You don't need to justify why you have a desire
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or a preference.
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It's part of your internal makeup.
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It's part of your DNA.
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And is it good or is it bad?
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I don't know, but with it, embrace it.
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And accept it and leverage it.
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Yeah, you know, Betsy,
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when you talk about having to justify ourselves,
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I totally understand what you mean by that.
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And I think about what I perceive
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the listeners may be experiencing.
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And let's talk about the difference
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between justification and bragging.
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Justification and bragging.
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Would you say that there would be a helpful understanding
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between that?
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The reason that I asked that, Betsy,
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is that so many, like you said,
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it's hard for us to ask what we want,
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first of all, and define it.
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But the other thing is, is that if we're being
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any more than humble,
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that we are bragging, that we are full of ourselves,
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that we are, you know, kind of the who do you think you are,
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but yet we need to know our strengths.
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So how can we blend, is that the right word,
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blend those two, to feel in our power,
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to own it, as you said?
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I think that's a great distinction to be made,
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because bragging, words are words,
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but what is the energy around the words you use?
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And if you can accept this as my truth,
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there is no need to be right.
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And oftentimes, for me, my sense,
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when someone is bragging,
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it comes from a place of wanting external validation.
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Sometimes it feels like they're insecure,
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so I kind of have to let you know,
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I need you to know, Wendy,
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that there's who I am, and believe me.
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And when someone says, trust me,
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my first thing to do is go,
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you don't need to tell me to trust you.
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I intuitively know, energetically,
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I know that you're trustworthy.
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So if someone is bragging,
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it's almost from a place of deficit,
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as opposed to owning it and being grounded in it.
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So I'll be personal here, I'm high in empathy.
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And when I was raised, my siblings used to say,
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oh, Beth, you're so sensitive.
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You're just so sensitive.
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You take everything so personally.
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Well, it was kind of used to weaponize me,
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and it wasn't said in a very compassionate way.
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It was to put me in my place.
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And this is when we were all very young and unevolved, right?
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And I've grown to learn that they were young like I was,
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and it doesn't carry the weight that it once did.
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Well, now, Wendy, I realize
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that empathy is one of my superpowers.
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Yes, I am very sensitive.
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I'm an environmentalist.
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I can walk into the room,
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and I can sense possibly what someone else is feeling,
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and I can put words to it.
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So that capacity to have people feel seen
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and heard and known is, quote unquote,
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being sensitive will bring it.
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I will stand behind that and exalt empathy
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as opposed to being weaponized by you're so sensitive.
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And I don't know if that necessarily answers your question
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between bragging and speaking your truth,
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but I think it's the energy behind it.
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If I'm trying to convince you that I'm right,
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that I'm empathetic and I'm sensitive,
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that feels like I'm bragging.
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Well, let me tell you about the client
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that paid me $100,000 because I empathetically,
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like he's making up this example.
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I'm sort of shoving it down your throat.
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Whereas if I say, you know what?
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But over the years I've understood
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that I can walk into a room and I can sense things
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that maybe 34 years ago, I wasn't as discerning.
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And see, that's more me talking about
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this is a superpower as opposed to you better believe me
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and you better accept me.
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And it feels like I need your external validation
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to feel good about me.
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So maybe this will put it in a context.
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Yeah, there's a difference between being a woman
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of persuasion and a woman of influence.
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And a woman of persuasion is Wendy,
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I get you to land where I am,
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so I feel good about myself.
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A woman of influence is I help you land
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where you need to land so you feel good about yourself.
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And I see justifying, bragging,
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kind of in the persuasion camp, if you will.
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Whereas owning and being grounded in your strengths
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is more of being a woman of influence.
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And I don't know if that makes sense to you,
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but to me I think it's the energy around the words we use
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and what's the point?
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Am I trying to exalt myself
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or am I trying to lift you up?
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You can be fully expressed yourself.
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I love what you're saying and I love that difference.
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And I particularly, I mean, they're both good.
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And I particularly resonate with a woman of influence
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because that is what I'm hoping to do
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through speaking with people such as yourself
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that have gone through times that were challenging
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where maybe you didn't believe in yourself
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quite as much as you do right now.
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So where it's taking me, Betsy,
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is how to influence, to have a hand up
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to a woman who is struggling
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with accepting the good about herself
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because she believes that she would be bragging.
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That she would be bragging.
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That it's not that necessarily the women,
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perhaps on this call, I don't know right now,
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but it feels like bragging
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when they speak of a strength of themselves.
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Like when I hear you speak about yourself, Betsy,
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oh my goodness, I love the confidence,
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the embodiment, the easy way
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that you express these strengths of yours.
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And I'm wondering how you would support somebody
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that needed to embody and embrace,
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find their strengths to embody and embrace
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so that they can start talking about themselves differently
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from a different energy, from a different place.
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So I'll give you an analogy that I think is really helpful.
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And the very first coach I ever hired used,
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this was the first session we ever had.
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And it made me decide I needed to be a coach
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for the rest of my life.
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So imagine with me, if you will,
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that you're looking through a kaleidoscope.
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And I ask you to take a picture with your mind's eye
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of this beautiful symmetrical design
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of color and shape and light and brilliance,
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and oh, it's glorious.
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And you take a picture with your mind's eye of that design.
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And then I ask you to turn the end piece
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a quarter turn to the right.
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What happens?
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Well, the picture changes, right?
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Then I say, okay, okay, so go back to the first picture.
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Turn the kaleidoscope end piece to the left
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a quarter turn.
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Well, the truth of the matter is,
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you can't go back to that picture
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that you had a minute ago.
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So here's the way I look at it.
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Once you make a shift, the whole picture changes
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and you can't go back.
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So I use the Clifton Strengths Finder Assessment
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because it's been going on forever, for decades.
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And my strength is not analyzing things.
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I don't know how they designed this assessment
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to work out all the biases
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and how they made it so true to form.
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But that's not my strength.
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I work with people where that's their strength.
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And they rely on me because I'm high in communication
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to go out and be a television.
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Tell the vision of why strengths work.
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So those people are working in their strengths
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and I can't touch them with a 10 foot pole.
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They're working with me and my strengths
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and they can't touch me with a 10 foot pole.
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And so here's the thing is we all have our strengths.
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There's my top five, these are their top fives.
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And when we come together and we interweave them,
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it's like spokes on a wheel.
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We can move something so much bigger than ourselves.
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And I love that sense of how we work with one another.
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So in order for someone to accept their strengths,
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it's making that shift.
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And why I love strength finders versus other assessments
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is it's taking science and marrying it to the soul.
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How do you see that, Betsy?
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Strengths and soul.
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I see strengths as being a very science based.
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It's based on data.
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Data is so important.
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I need to know that there is very viable truth to the data.
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That matters to me.
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But for me to create the data is not,
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it's above my pay grade.
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Do I rely on something that has proven,
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the reliability is very, very high.
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I have never in the 15 years I've been doing this,
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have I ever had someone say, this is not me,
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this is wrong, I hate this, this is stupid.
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I'm not, I'm done.
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I just sit down with work.
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Never.
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Because I'm not trying to convince them of anything.
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And so why I like strengths is you and I may have
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the same top five strengths.
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It's not common, but let's say in the top 10,
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we have five strengths that are similar.
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But because you have other strengths
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that amplify your strengths,
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your communication is going to be expressed differently
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than my version of communication.
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So this is not a one size fits all.
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And so when I come in and I work with women,
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I'm not there to tell them anything.
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I'm there to expose them to influence them
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so that they can take in this information
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and what sits with them, sits with them
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and can inform their decisions going forward.
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And guide them and hear patterns when they're talking
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or are you aware that this is resonating for you
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or is this so unconsciously true for you?
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You're not even aware of it.
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And so that's the science,
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that's the assessment and the results.
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And the heart is what I help women bring to the table.
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So we can carry the head and heart or science and soul,
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however you wanna put it.
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But I think it's such a beautiful marriage
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between those two.
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And I'm also a heart math facilitator.
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So I do a lot of heart coherence so that you're grounded
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and coherence is being in sync with yourself.
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And so I find that conditioning
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is living someone else's answers for your life.
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Think about that.
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Living someone else's answers for your life.
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Absolutely.
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We are conditioned from birth to eight
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and that's how we understand societal rules and culture
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and all that stuff and it's really important.
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But when we need to question our answers.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I had to make a choice.
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Am I gonna say sensitive
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and all that is something that's negative?
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Or am I gonna say, oh, thank you, Father.
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This is my strength.
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I can do this for good instead of being weaponized by it.
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And so it's putting the emphasis on the right syllable.
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What's right with me as opposed to constantly dwelling
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on the wrong with me because I can go there
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in a nanosecond and over the years
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I've trained myself,
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does this thought and this belief serve me
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and what I'm here to do?
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And if it doesn't, I really have to wing and measure
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what evidence do I have that this is still true,
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that this sensitivity is wrong
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and it's not wrong, it's right.
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So I hope I'm not flogging a dead horse here
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but I know it's important to keep going back
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to fundamentally what is my belief system
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and possibly it will resonate with your listeners
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and they'll go, oh, how about the shift?
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I can't go back because the picture just changed for me.
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Yeah, we're definitely on a similar page here, Betsy,
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because it was one of the reasons
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that I started this podcast
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is how I felt conditioned in my life
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for various reasons,
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but to live a life of safety, a life of belonging,
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a life of what success is, it had nothing to do with me.
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It was out there, that's how you do it.
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And I really have compassion for people that say,
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I don't even know what's mine.
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And the thing is, is that I love this strengths finder
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that you're talking about
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because the purpose I believe it serves
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is that it lets people know what their strengths are
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and then those people, if they're in the place of,
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let's just say awakening to living it more in their lives,
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need to have the help of somebody that can guide them
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to implement, to embody it,
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to actually see from experience that,
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oh my God, I do resonate with this.
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This is something that's really important to me
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and sort of build that success kind of like step by step.
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I appreciate you saying that.
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We can't see our own eyebrows.
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Yeah.
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We can't.
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And everywhere we go, there we are.
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And we have no idea how the room changes
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when we walk into the room.
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And we don't understand how the room changes when we leave.
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And sometimes it takes someone to put the mirror to our face.
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Excuse me.
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And I'll just say, I attribute,
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I've been together with,
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I've been dating my husband for over 51 years.
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Yes.
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And this assessment has done so much for our marriage.
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It's given us a language.
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So if, can I share an example?
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Absolutely, please.
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So I'm high in activator.
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I mean, like I get things done and I'm a catalyst.
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I act, I jump, then I think.
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And where's the way I have other strengths
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that will temper that activator.
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And my husband and I always work together.
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We worked together for 35 years as artists.
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And so we have this house
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and we've just made this house our own
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and put a lot of attention into the work that we did.
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We did specialty wall finishes
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and specialty wood finishes
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and we finished furniture, all that stuff.
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And so I always come up with these great ideas.
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I'm an artist.
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I'm always creating more projects for us to do.
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And I would say, oh, Archie, you know what?
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We should do this.
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And he would, because I'm so quick on the spot,
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he'd go, oh no.
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Because we either didn't have the time
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or the money or he didn't have the desire to do it.
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And one day I said to him,
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Archie, do you just not trust me?
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And he said, wait, what?
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Why would you ask me that?
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And I said, because every time I ask you
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about doing a project or like let's take the,
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let's put beams in our living room, he'll say no.
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And what I found out is when he took the assessment,
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he's high in context.
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So I'm not, I have zero context.
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And what context is, he needs to know the backstory.
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He needs to know where I am right now
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and where that's gonna take us in the future.
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So for instance, I worked with a coach
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and it was quite expensive to work with her.
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And I needed to borrow some of our money
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and I was gonna pay it back.
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But it was a hefty investment.
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And so I said, Archie, this is where I've been in the past.
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This is a gap in my business.
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And where I am right now,
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I think I'm perfectly poised to have this coach
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take me to the next level.
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And this is where I see myself in two to five years.
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And it's gonna cost X amount.
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Would you do me a favor
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and just really think this through
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the next couple of days and then just get back to me.
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Well, two hours later, he comes back and he says,
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you know, Betts, I think that's, I mean, you know,
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pay it back and yeah, I think that's a great idea.
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And I said, so what happened here?
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And he said, you really got that I needed to know
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where you are right now and where you wanna go.
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But more importantly, you didn't force me
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to make a decision right now, like activator.
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So I've told that story from stage multiple times
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and I have a woman come up and say,
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that is the most manipulative thing I have ever heard.
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And I was like, really?
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Oh, I hadn't considered that.
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And so I went home and I asked my husband, I said,
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I use that example about working with Kimberly
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and he said, oh, Betsy, I felt like you really honored me.
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You got me, you saw me, you let me do it my way
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instead of ramming this decision on my throat
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because you're onto the next thing, you know?
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Wow.
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And so for me, think about that,
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not just in your relationship with your primary person,
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but with your kids.
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I know my kids, my son-in-laws, top strength.
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So I talk to him differently than I do to my daughter-in-law.
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I wish he had my strengths.
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But think about it with the team that you work with.
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Maybe you have a VA,
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maybe you have someone doing your social media,
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maybe you have someone doing your website
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or you have someone doing your marketing,
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to be able to have the language and to delegate
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and know that this person needs to sleep on it.
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They need context.
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And instead of saying, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
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we did that yesterday, how come it's not done?
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And they can take a deep breath and say, Betsy,
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activator's running the show a little bit,
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could we maybe think about this for a week?
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It was just providing that.
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And just the ease and the trust that is built
27:39
within your primary relationships, your team, your clothes,
27:45
it makes all the difference in the world for me.
27:49
Some of my clients, I give them,
27:51
I set up the appointment at the call,
27:53
at the end of the call.
27:54
Okay, we're gonna get on the calendar.
27:57
You're gonna get on the calendar.
27:57
And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
27:59
I gotta have this on the calendar.
28:02
But I also have clients that go,
28:04
Betsy, just send me the link
28:05
and I'll get back to you in 48 hours.
28:07
Some of the vacation, resentment is
28:13
because of unmet expectations.
28:17
So if I expect you, Wendy, to be an activator
28:21
and a high achiever and a disser and a fatter,
28:24
that's all based on speed,
28:26
and that's not in congruence with your strengths.
28:31
You and I are gonna have some resentment
28:32
because we have different speed.
28:37
And we don't consider that when we're in relationship
28:42
with people, many of us don't, maybe some people.
28:45
I think that that awareness is huge.
28:47
Yeah, absolutely.
28:49
And I can't think of anything more important
28:52
than what you're saying right now
28:54
is learning about each other,
29:00
those important people in our lives,
29:02
those important people we serve in our career
29:06
or business or whatever.
29:09
And it begins, I believe, with getting to know myself.
29:14
And all of those are important.
29:18
And one of the things that I know
29:21
that it seems like a little bit of a jump
29:24
into a different part of what we're talking about,
29:27
but it isn't really, is the gift of the meditation
29:31
that you are offering us that will be in the gift portal.
29:36
Because I really believe that meditation,
29:40
whether it's silent, whether it's guided,
29:43
whatever it is, when we can stop for a moment
29:49
and maybe just listen or maybe just be
29:52
or whatever that might be, or be able to imagine
29:57
because I haven't heard the meditation yet,
30:00
I'm looking forward to it.
30:02
But maybe be able to see a part of ourselves
30:05
that we couldn't accept with our intellectual brain,
30:09
but yet in a right brain experience,
30:13
maybe it's like, oh my God.
30:15
Like, again, I really resonate with that.
30:18
That speaks to me.
30:20
I want that.
30:21
That matters to me kind of thing.
30:23
So I'm so grateful that you chose the gift
30:27
of the meditation, Betsy,
30:28
because I think that it'll be really helpful
30:32
that we in this crazy, distracted, busy,
30:37
monopolizing environment that so many of us live in,
30:41
we need to just stop for a bit.
30:44
And I would even say, daily,
30:49
because I think that it's an assistance for embodiment.
30:57
That's what I think, an assistance with embodiment
31:00
because the same actions, the same thoughts
31:05
will lead to the same outcomes and the same thoughts.
31:10
So I'm really glad that you have offered that to us.
31:16
Well, it's my pleasure.
31:17
It's a unique meditation because it's part meditation,
31:23
part blessing, part exercise,
31:27
on just filling down what is your purpose.
31:31
Wouldn't it be amazing if,
31:33
and it's a lot in 12 minutes
31:36
and it can be listened to over and over and over again
31:42
so that you can really tap into who you are
31:46
at your core essence.
31:50
And honestly, Wendy, I do it multiple times
31:55
and it's not an official meditation,
31:58
but I think heart coherence repeatedly throughout the day
32:02
and why you've been talking
32:05
the way I stay present is I'm doing a heart focused breathing
32:11
so that I stay out of my head.
32:13
So I'm not thinking, well, okay,
32:14
the next thing I'm gonna say is,
32:17
because then I'm in my head and so often
32:20
we don't know how to get out of our head
32:23
and get into our heart and live an embodied life.
32:26
And so I'm actually doing heart focused breathing
32:30
while you're talking.
32:32
Wow.
32:33
So that I can listen to what you're saying
32:37
instead of going, okay, well, when she stops talking,
32:39
I'm gonna jump right in.
32:42
And how many times have you been in a conversation
32:45
where you feel like, wow, huh, that was interesting.
32:52
I don't quite know what to make of that.
32:54
I was talking in language A
32:56
and she was talking in language J, you know,
33:00
we were not communicating.
33:02
And how do we stay present?
33:05
You think all we have.
33:07
Wow.
33:07
That's all we have is right now, right now, right now.
33:12
And having overcome breast cancer,
33:15
I understand there is nothing more important
33:18
than being present right now.
33:20
Oh my gosh, Betsy, that is so powerful.
33:24
And what an experience.
33:25
I'm sure that must have been challenging on all levels.
33:29
All levels, right, that you've worked through.
33:34
You know, Wendy,
33:38
there was a lot of uncertainty.
33:42
And I think one of my coaches,
33:45
I called her and I said, you know,
33:48
it's not looking good before I had the actual,
33:51
the official prognosis with a lot of waiting months
33:55
and months before they could do my surgery
33:57
and check what was going on.
34:00
And I just, I was really upset
34:03
and I wanted her to be upset with me.
34:05
And I wanted her to get on the bandwagon of,
34:09
ugh, you know, I don't want to wait anymore.
34:12
And she said, you know,
34:14
I don't know, is this good or is it bad?
34:17
And I'm like, girlfriend,
34:19
I need you to be saying this is good.
34:22
And I said, well, wait, what do you mean?
34:24
And she said, well, I don't know.
34:26
Wow, no.
34:29
And I was like, I was gobsmacked.
34:32
I was like, what do you mean you don't know?
34:34
And she said, I don't.
34:37
And I will say, Wendy,
34:39
I do not ever want to have cancer again.
34:43
And I do not want anyone to have to go
34:46
through hearing it's cancer.
34:50
That is not what I'm saying.
34:51
And I learned, I have been very loved in my life.
34:57
And I feel really fortunate how well loved I've been.
35:02
But I experienced what it was like to be cherished
35:06
during this.
35:08
And for a woman to lose a breast
35:12
really dings their identity,
35:14
especially when you're an, you know,
35:17
an old chrome like I am, you know,
35:19
in my 70s, it's hard.
35:22
It's hard to have the amputation of any sort.
35:26
And to be able to say and look you in the eye
35:29
and say, I felt cherished.
35:32
That cherished ability,
35:36
if you want to put it that way,
35:38
I can still stay in feeling cherished
35:41
by what happened in that nine months.
35:48
And so I don't know,
35:51
whatever your listeners are going through right now,
35:54
I don't know if it's good or bad.
35:57
I don't know.
36:00
And what that has allowed me to do
36:04
is to allow women the space and grace
36:08
to live into their uncertainty, not flinch.
36:14
Because as a transformation strategist, coach, advisor,
36:23
trusted advisor, whatever you want to say,
36:25
someone put themselves in the arena to support women,
36:30
we have to have all the answers.
36:32
We have to know, we have to have certainty.
36:35
And I disagree.
36:39
I disagree.
36:40
And I'm so much more comfortable saying,
36:43
you know what, I don't know.
36:45
I don't know.
36:47
But I'm here with you, I'm here for you.
36:52
And if you have to lean on my having
36:55
a little bit more certainty than you do,
36:57
then see what I think.
37:00
But what empathy, true empathy says,
37:03
which I keep going back to empathy.
37:06
I don't know why.
37:06
Someone out there needs to hear about empathy.
37:09
Empathy is not the same as sympathy.
37:12
Empathy can be demeaning and degrading.
37:16
Oh, when do you poor thing?
37:18
You poor thing.
37:19
And you're insinuating, it's not what you intend,
37:22
but sometimes you can be insinuating
37:24
you incompetent thing.
37:26
You're gonna struggle and suffer.
37:29
And what empathy says is, I see you,
37:33
I hear you and I hold dignity with you
37:36
because I see your competency.
37:40
Yes, this is really difficult.
37:43
And I see you.
37:46
And you're stronger than you realize
37:48
and you're stronger than you think.
37:51
I so appreciate that.
37:53
And choosing our support people,
37:57
being able to tell the difference
37:59
between sympathy and empathy is so key.
38:04
And if we don't have somebody with empathy
38:08
in our lives that is our support person,
38:13
it behooves us to find someone,
38:16
a mentor, a coach, a professional of some sort
38:20
that knows and lives empathy.
38:26
Because again, sometimes we need somebody
38:31
to believe in us before we can believe in ourselves
38:35
and empathy can help with that.
38:39
And you know, something else,
38:41
maybe someone needs to hear this too, Betsy,
38:44
but your coach that you're sharing about
38:50
knew there's a part of you that wants to move forward
38:54
and was ready to hear, what?
38:59
What did you just say?
39:03
And how it has blessed you,
39:08
because the support that we want
39:13
and the support that we need
39:16
sometimes is not always the same support.
39:21
So again, working with somebody
39:24
that we come to see and know that we can trust
39:28
is really key to not just the changes that we want,
39:34
but the actual transformation that we want.
39:39
And Betsy, you are clearly somebody who offers so much.
39:46
Where I want to go now, Betsy is knowing,
39:50
I mean, of course, we're gonna have your information
39:52
in the show notes,
39:53
but where is the best way to contact you
39:56
either, you know, about coaching to strengths
39:59
or about moving through a diagnosis or about,
40:04
I need an empathy, an empathist.
40:07
I just made that word up.
40:09
I need somebody with empathy.
40:10
It worked.
40:12
But what is the best way to reach you
40:16
with whatever it is a person would want support with?
40:19
Thank you for asking that.
40:21
I would say go to my website,
40:24
which is coach, the number two,
40:27
and then strengths, plural,
40:31
and it's S-T-R-E-M-G-T-H-S dot com.
40:37
So it's coach two strengths dot com.
40:39
And there is a place where you can ask to, you know,
40:44
contact me and I will reach out to you
40:46
and a little space for you to write what it is
40:48
that is a concern.
40:50
And because I don't wanna be talking about strength finders
40:56
when they've just said, you know,
40:57
I've been diagnosed with breast cancer.
41:00
I wanna be able to come at it from a sensitive place.
41:05
Yes.
41:06
So I think going to my website
41:07
is really a great place to go.
41:09
And then we will have in the show notes,
41:12
the link to be able to get
41:14
where does your juicy lie meditation.
41:16
Yes.
41:19
It's fun.
41:19
It's a fun, like I said, meditation, purpose driven,
41:25
exercise, blessing, and-
41:28
Beautiful.
41:29
Yeah.
41:30
Because it fits all, doesn't it?
41:32
I mean, we all kind of gravitate
41:34
maybe toward a certain way,
41:36
like somebody would go blessing.
41:38
I absolutely need blessing,
41:40
or, ooh, I need to journal here,
41:42
or I just need to be quiet or whatever it is.
41:47
Or all those things.
41:49
Right?
41:51
Oh my gosh.
41:53
And so again, thank you for that gift
41:57
and thank you for your time today,
42:00
everything that you've shared.
42:03
And as we close up, Betsy,
42:05
do you have any final words
42:07
that you would like to share,
42:10
something of support or whatever that might be
42:13
that you would like to share
42:15
with people that are listening or will be listening?
42:18
Thank you.
42:21
This quote changed my life
42:26
and put me on a very different trajectory
42:31
to own my sassy self
42:35
and to be comfortable in my own skin.
42:41
And it's Oscar Wilde's quote,
42:43
be yourself, everyone else is taken.
42:46
Oh gosh.
42:48
And I wish I'd come up with that quote.
42:52
I think it's so profound.
42:55
And if you will embody that and absorb that
42:58
and marinate in that, marinate that in them.
43:04
It changes everything.
43:06
We don't need another Wendy.
43:09
We don't need another Betsy.
43:11
We need you to be true to you.
43:14
Be true to you.
43:19
Energetically, everybody feels the disconnect.
43:23
We're not fooling anybody.
43:26
And we think that we're so self-contained
43:29
and it's written all over our energy field
43:34
that we're struggling with imposter thoughts
43:40
or not enough or feeling defective
43:44
or if they only knew.
43:53
And the last illustration I will use
43:57
and I think this is powerful
43:59
is the question is have you bought a new computer
44:02
in the last 10 years?
44:05
And most women will say yes.
44:07
And it's because we need upgraded programs, right?
44:12
The other one is that I laugh at my age.
44:15
I also need more memory.
44:18
But here's the thing is it would be unthinkable
44:21
for you and me to have a computer from 2005.
44:27
That's just ridiculous.
44:29
It's slow, it's archaic.
44:31
It doesn't have the memory.
44:33
I mean, it doesn't have anything
44:34
that we need currently in 2026
44:37
or whatever year you're listening to this.
44:40
But you know what?
44:41
When do we do that?
44:42
We're still running on the operating system
44:45
from when we were little.
44:48
They're so sensitive belts.
44:52
And I've decided to rewrite that program
44:55
and go, hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
44:58
pass the peanut butter.
45:00
I love it.
45:03
And that's our opportunity is are we going
45:07
to rewrite our programs?
45:10
And are we gonna update our programs?
45:13
Because if you want different results,
45:15
you have got to upgrade your program.
45:19
And if not now, when?
45:22
So beautiful, Betsy.
45:24
Thank you so much, my dear.
45:26
I appreciate every moment with you.
45:29
Thank you.
45:30
This has been nice.
45:31
I really appreciate it, Wendy.
45:32
Thank you.
45:34
Okay, my dear, take care.
45:36
Thanks.