Latest / Cash Confident with Brie Sodano / Transforming Struggles into Success and Financial Power

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Transforming Struggles into Success and Financial Power · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready to embark on an electrifying journey where we redefine the rules of money and empower women to harness the immense power to craft a life they truly, truly desire.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This podcast is the ultimate resource, meticulously crafted, for women who are ready to unleash their financial prowess and embrace a life of abundant success.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We leave no stone unturned as we delve into the depths of money management, mindset mastery and the undeniable influence of emotions on your financial decisions.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Prepare to rise above the societal limitations and break free from the chains that have held you back, as we equip you with the tools and knowledge to make bold, confident choices with your cash.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We believe that true financial power begins with knowledge, and that is exactly what we deliver.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Hello, hello everyone.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Brie Sedano, here today to talk to you about common struggle patterns.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: If you didn't listen last week's episode, we talked about struggle in survival mode and that had a whole flavor of just things that happen maybe in poverty lower middle class around how people get stuck in survival mode around identity and judgments and all sorts of just ways where the struggle is so deep that it goes all the way down to our sense of survival.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: So if you didn't listen to that episode, I would totally check it out.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: And what we're going to work on today is some of the lighter flavors of struggle, not all the way down to the core, to the depth of our like will we live or will we die but we're going to just talk about some of the places where we get in our own way, about money or success or work, and we're just going to talk about different ways that kind of struggle shows up.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: So that way we can start to break those patterns and be more free and enjoy ourselves and have more juice and just joy in our lives.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So let's get started.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So one of the places that when we're feeling kind of stuck or sticky and accomplishing a goal, is going to be around internal struggle.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Now, internal struggle is just what I would call just like an internal conflict.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: It's when we're not fully on board with ourselves.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: So there's different aspects of ourselves.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: So if we were to think about it like if I'm going to, let's say, make a really big goal.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I want a really big shift.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to think about that shift, or that goal, from different points in my life.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Like, let's just say I was contemplating quitting my job and getting a new job, right?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Well, I might think about that in terms of myself.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I might think that is, you know, from the point of money.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Is this financially responsible?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I might think about it from the point of time.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I might think about it from.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Is this going to be the right choice for my family, for my kids?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Is this going to be, you know, the right choice for my future?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Am I going to have to do something drastically different, right?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So there's all these different points that we're going to be looking at things and when we're kind of coming up on a decision, it's a very rare that we're just going to be 100% on board with ourselves.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Like it takes time and generally it's going to take action, it's going to take some excavation of our psyche, of our emotional state, to be 100% on board with ourselves.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: So struggle, internal struggle, is generally going to just be part of the process of making any sort of big change in our lives, and so I want you just to know that so we end up, so you don't have to thinking something's wrong with you for feeling like that internal conflict.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: But that internal conflict will just create a lot of feelings of struggle.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it'll be like procrastination or not doing the things, or wanting to do it but not wanting to do it.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: It's just like a lot of push and pull, and so when we're in that state with ourselves, our mind can really be moving and we'll be like, ooh, I want to do this but I don't want to do it.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: And I want to do this but I'm scared.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: And I want to do it but it's a bad idea.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I want to do it just as it's in.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: That use of like ping-ponging thoughts can really just use up a lot of our mental energy and it can end up feeling really like struggle.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: It can be like I'm struggling to get this done, I'm struggling to get clarity or to know what's going on.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: So that's going to be an internal struggle.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Or if we're becoming something, if we want to become someone and we have judgments against that, we're going to be struggling against our own inner landscape.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: And so these are things that again, it's part of growth, it's part of expansion, that internal conflict.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: And as we get into the episode, I'll give you some suggestions to move through those things.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: And it still takes like some effort.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It still takes attention and awareness, but it doesn't necessarily have to be struggle.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: It's almost like wherever they are so long that it's exhausting.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: That's the struggle.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And then we have struggle with life in general, and so this to me is more of like an attitude, like when people say things like and listen I was one of these people that was like a life is hard, or anything easy isn't worth having, or easy come, easy go, or if it's easy, it's not going to last, and so sometimes we can struggle against the life in general.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: So, and also I see this in really fighting with reality, like the idea of the way that things should be Right.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: So like let's just say, for example, you get to the airport and there's just a super long line and you weren't expecting a super long line and you weren't.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: You certainly weren't hoping for a super long line, but if you're in the line and you're just patient, that's less struggle than being in the line and being annoyed and huffing and puffing and talking about how this shouldn't be happening and criticizing their systems and being mad at the you know they're not cashiers the line attendance Right, and so a lot of times people struggle with life in general, just arguing with reality, and it causes so much wasted energy and so much suffering.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Another place I really see this is when people are like arguing with the weather, you know, or like complaining about the weather.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: It's like you have no control over that.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: You might as well just enjoy the rain if it's raining, or enjoy the sun if it's sunny, or enjoy the heat if it's hot, or enjoy the cold if it's cold, like people be like oh, it's too cold today, you know, and it's just low grade fighting with reality.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It's just like an argument with life itself and it never goes anywhere.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: But it does waste a lot of energy and, honestly, it's generally just comes with a lot of negativity.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: It's a little it's a little stinky of a vibe.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: You know it can be.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: So that's a place where you want us to just start to notice because, like you, have no control over the line at the airport, you have no control over the weather.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: There's a ton of stuff in life that you have no control over, so you get to choose to fight against it and be in struggle against it and be thinking of the ways that it should be or shouldn't be, or what could go better or what, or you could just enjoy the ride.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I use that kind of concept all the time, like I don't spend a lot of mental energy on things that I don't have any sort of control over, because it's just a waste of it.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: It's just a waste of energy and, honestly, it makes me enjoy the ride less.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Right, and I was raining on the day that I was having a party.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Well, we're going to move the party inside and enjoy the rain, and that's just.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: That's just going to be it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to fight with the rain, right, but lots of people fight with all aspects of life.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: You'll see this a lot with traffic.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: People get so angry and so full of rage and impatience and traffic Right.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: So that's another place where it's like you're just fighting with life.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: You're just wanting life to be different, but you don't have any control over it, and so that creates a lot of struggle.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: And then sometimes we have a particular struggle like so, the third thing, so we had our internal struggle, struggle with life in general, and then this third kind of struggle pattern is like struggle with a particular resource or like aspect of life.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: So sometimes people struggle with time, right.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: So some people live in a place of incredible time scarcity, or struggle with money Right, that's a I mean, that's the problem that I solve all day A struggle with body image, a struggle with love, or struggle with Energy, you know.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Or struggle with our health, right.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes there's just so much struggle with a particular area of life and just desperately wanting that to be different.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And it's the same kind of concepts from what we just talked about.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: It's just a little bit deeper, it's just a little bit more less general and more specific, I guess.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And so when we want to be moving through some of these struggle patterns, one of the things that we want to do is surrender.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: We just want to accept what's going on, accept the situation for what it is, because once we have an acceptance and a lot of times we even want to like get to the place where we have approval of a situation, where we've owned the ways that we've created the situation, or we have approval for ourselves in the way that we're experiencing a thing, and it's not to say that it doesn't still need to you know something you may or may still, may or may not still want to change it, but surrender and acceptance and approval really puts us in a place.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: It moves us from the place of like powerlessness to where we've called our power, back to ourselves and then we can address the situation there Right.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So there's an element of just letting go, like letting go of the struggle at least.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So if you're like driving and you're feeling so much rage about the traffic and you feel like you're running late and whatever else, like that's the struggle when you're white knuckling it and you're mad at people and like you're fretting, well, you could do that.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Or you could just surrender to the fact that you are in traffic and just drive Right.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And the difference is just how you feel about it.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: It's just your own struggle.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: You could fight against it and be mad and waste your energy, or you could just drive Right.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: So that surrender, that acceptance of the traffic, that approval of the situation, where it's like, all right, well, I'm going to just put on the songs that I want to sing and I'm just going to have myself a great time.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I have five extra minutes and we're just going to roll with this, you know.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: So that's surrender, and then, on some things, you can decide to let things be different.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: So, like longstanding patterns of struggle with money or with family or whatever else, sometimes we just have to decide to let things be different.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to decide that we're struggling and decide, hey, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going to let things be different.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I want my mind to be different, I want my identity to be different, I want my actions to be different, and so that's another place where we have a lot of control.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: So, basically, where I'm going with this is struggle is basically us fighting.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: And so when we're internal struggle, when we have internal conflict, we're fighting within our own self.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Our mind is fighting against itself, our mind is fighting against our body, our body is fighting against our mind or whatever.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: There's a sense of internal like budding of heads, right, and that's internal.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: But it's that struggle that like I feel like fight might be a fine word for this.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: And then I struggle with life.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I struggle with a particular resource, I struggle with like a particular area of life, and so when we can get to the place where we're not fighting with that, where we just kind of drop our end of the fight, and then we can look at this a little bit more gently, a little bit different, a little bit like all right, well, how do I finesse this?
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Rather than fight it.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: That's the place where we can start to drop out of some of those old patterns and start to pick up new patterns, new ways of doing things, and start to shift through that identity.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so those are some of the ways that we can break free of struggle patterns.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: And again, you might want to listen to last week's episode too, because we talked about struggle patterns and belief structures in our emotional body and in our energy body and into our nervous system.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: So sometimes struggle patterns can be all the way into the body, in which case you may need to do some somatic releases or really move some energy through the body to close some of those stress loops.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: And also, I just want to say that sometimes that stress that comes from struggle and that adrenaline and cortisol and stress it can be really addictive, because those states do have a lot of energy and they can be states that we get used to and we just want to stay in a state of struggle.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: So, choosing to let things be different and choosing to drop our side of the struggle and choosing to stop fighting with ourselves or with life, or with our money or with time or whatever else Like that's the place where we can ride the waves of what life gives us and enjoy the ride a lot better than like when life is dragging us, kicking and screaming across the floor.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It's like we could just go or we could struggle the whole way.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, struggle patterns with money, super, super juicy.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: So you want to start to look at the ways that you struggle you fight with yourself or you fight with life and then start to just gently shift out of those things.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: All right, so I love you.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I hope you learned a couple of things about just the ways that struggle shows up and have some suggestions on what to do with it and you can start to play with those things you know, start to drop the struggle for a little while and see how it impacts you and see if you like it or see if you do like to struggle.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And there's nothing really like necessarily wrong about being willing to struggle or liking a little internal struggle or liking even a little external struggle.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: It's not necessarily wrong or bad.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: It just can be exhausting when we're there all the time, and not just every aspect of life, or money or love or you know self just feels like a struggle.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: And so it's a cool thing to be able to pick and choose where we spend that energy and where we're just going to like, approve and accept of the situation, surrender, you know, surrender that struggle and then kind of move, you know, move forward with it.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: It's a great practice, especially when control like, especially when there's when you're struggling against something you actually don't have any control over, and then so, in dropping that struggle, you move your attention back into yourself, where you do have control.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: You do have control over your thoughts, you do have control over how you manage yourself through your emotions, you do have control over the words that you use and the stories that you tell yourself and the way that you navigate life, but you don't have control over life.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: And so, anyways, moving that control back in words really really helps conserve energy.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Just have a little bit more fun, juicy existence.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: All right, so that's my talk for today.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Please, please, share this work with anybody, everybody that you think would love it.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: All right, I love you, thank you, I appreciate you.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Bye, it was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: If you found value in our conversation, I kindly ask you to share the show with a friend who deserves to unleash her financial power.
• 16:52
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• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Together, we can amplify the message and bring more money into the hands of good women For ongoing guidance and unwavering support on your financial journey.
• 17:05
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• 17:08
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• 17:12
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• 17:12
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• 17:21
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• 17:31
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• 17:40
  Speaker 1: $1.00, one decision at a time.