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Anger Or Naw · The Volume Shift

• Jhalil: I say yeah, man. Remember I got booked. I don't like that little ass Deion: Thank Jhalil: john, bro. Get out of here. This nigga's doing a dub Deion: you Jhalil: life. Like I ain't come on, bro. I was chillin'. Deion: You know what it is? Jhalil: I shit was minimal security like a motherfucker, bro. Deion: But that's where we be coming from and shit like. Jhalil: Yeah. That shit was crazy too. Cause Deion: Thank Jhalil: it's like once you do your Lord John and you come home or whatever, bro, like the hood really they boost you up with that shit, bro. Like that should be crazy, dog. Let you get a key Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: to the city. That should be like three reposts, it'd be from grandmom, somewhere in a whole different it man, they don't even give a fuck about nothing like that. Deion: Bye. Jhalil: We gotta be conscious of what we, you know, pump up and make thorough, bro. Real shit. Deion: Alright, let's get started man. Welcome back to the volume shift where we bridging gaps between cultures, genders, etc. I'm Buck Doctor's the Doctor without the doctrine. Jhalil: Ja love urban activist slash blacktivist, you know. Deion: How you living? How you feeling? Jhalil: man, I'm feeling great, man. I done just had my beat smoothie. You know man? Like feeling good, bro. Getting ready for tomorrow, dog. Deion: What was happening in the morgue? Jhalil: Yeah. man, I just I just entered the STEM career field, you know, like working in pharmaceuticals now. Got got in with a a husky player in the pharmaceutical industry. So I'm feeling good about that, man, cause like statistically, bro, like and I don't want to just make this like a race thing, but like as a black man. In that field and life sciences, STEM, all of that, bro. We only occupy two to three percent of the whole field in the whole USA, bro. So it's like that draw Deion: Mm. Jhalil: I feel like that's a great move, bro. Cause it's high potential for growth, you know, for advancement, all of that. And then it's like is it's like breaking the narrative. Cause you know, a lot of the narrative around the US and like amongst our people and like from outside of our people is that, you know, we don't we don't occupy science and we don't like glorify learning and and things like that. So it's like, man, I felt like this was something that like it was perfect for me. You feel me? So I'm feeling good about this new opportunity. I'ma check it out and see what's going on. Deion: No. Jhalil: Yeah, man. How you living? How you feeling? Deion: Congratulations, we're Congratulations, we're here. Jhalil: Appreciate it, dog. Deion: Be sure... I'm telling man, you know, maintaining. You know, living man. You know what saying? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: That's really it. That's really it. You know, every day is a battle and I'm trying to figure it out. My you versus you and all that. So it's been kind of calm, you know what saying? But at the same time, it's because of the things I didn't develop. You know what mean? So I'm not stressing like over too much of anything. You know what mean? Like whatever's happening is happening. I just want to be in the now and you know, figure it out. You feel me? Cause I see like the anger blocks. Like it's like a cloud that blocks like what you need to do to move forward. You get what I'm saying? And if you Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: stay angry, then you ain't ever gonna see what you need. to, you know what saying? That's why a lot of times people call and they all in they panic and they it's cause they cloudy, they don't see like, so when you're a sound friend and you can give advice that's like uncloudy and you can see like everything that's happening for that person, you can give, you know what mean, sound advice. And so I'm seeing that now, I'm like. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't like that being angry shit. Like, you know what mean? I find myself being angry a lot. You know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah yeah. Deion: And you know, it's inclusive too to the thoughts that I be having. So if I don't think a certain way, then it's like, I don't just get angry. You know what I'm saying? But also reading a book. Egger told the power of now, he like, if you angry more than 60 seconds, like you wanna be angry. So I looked at that and I'm like, damn, do I wanna be angry? Like, do I wanna like, portray like this? the shield of anger, you know what mean? Is that like a defense? Is it a protection of self? Of my emotions, my feelings and shit? Because I think about it right, I was just telling you earlier, I was really bothered by the things that happened with my kid's mom or what have you. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: And I'm like, I got this thing now where I'm like, I don't want nobody to play with me no more. You feel me? And I'm like, is that what's attached to the anger? Like now I'm putting on this anger. Like, you know, I used to be cheesing all the time. Like I was a happy smiley face ass nigga. feel me? Like Spike, know that my jaw missing too. So I don't be wanting to show that too. You feel me? So then there's a collection of all that shit, you know what mean? Put together something like, all right, I got it. I see how it is, like I see what's making the anger and if I deal with that, then I can eliminate the anger, right? And like go back to, you know, just being, you know I'm saying? And be accurate with my anger too, you know what I mean? Cause it's gonna be things that's natural that's gonna make me angry. I want that Jhalil: Okay. Deion: to be separate from like, me just always being angry. You get what I'm saying? Like, I see that in the city so much, especially like Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: in the poppish areas. every people I'll be going over, it'll just be like, they be ready to go. Our people be ready to go. And it's like, but they'll be ready to go for the stuff. And that's why I'm saying we so cloudy that like we ready to go in a manner that I mean, not letting nobody play with us, that's number one, right? So as soon as somebody say something, you might not even have heard them. It just in your head. Is this nigga trying to play with me? You feel me? So your response is like, I see that. like, I walked past a lady and she did that on some, and like, damn, that was cursing me out right, go ahead. And I'm like, damn, like, I'm like, you must ain't hear me. It's like, I ain't gotta fucking, I'm like, all right, that's where you want to be. Cause now I'm telling you like that it ain't that and you still elevate, I'm like, whoa. And see that's why I'm saying we got that anger bug bro that's like... That shit got... I'm like man we gotta... Fix that. You know what saying? Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Real rare bro, cause like, you know, although anger is the natural emotion, bro, it's like, dog, we can't let that shit control the whole vehicle. Like, that shit be crazy, bro. Like and like emotions is for the person. Feel me? They ain't for like people that's around you. All of this other shit. Like, even though like is them cases you might go back and forth with somebody, then you know, it builds some tension or whatever. Cool. But it's like it's no reason that you should be walking past a person that you never even seen before. You'd be like, yo, have a nice day. Fuck you, say. Like, you ready Deion: Thank Jhalil: to go off of that? You'd be like, all right, fuck your day then. Like, Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: you feel me? Like, and that's crazy that we even gotta be like that, bro. But it's like Deion: It's more a problem like that. A lot of people don't got that, drawn where they evaluate themselves afterwards. Like, was I tripping? Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Deion: No, they just keep going and it probably get worse and worse. You get what I'm saying? Like, you know, thank God, like I'm a person that's like, did I handle that right? You get what I'm saying? So I'm always evaluating after. the fact that make sure like, I don't keep going with that same energy and shit like that. Jhalil: Yeah, because it's definitely it's definitely not thorough, bro. You gotta have some like look in the mirror type situation going on, bro. Like that self-evaluation is necessary, bro. Cause it's like, damn, if you ain't thinking about that, what is you thinking about? Like whatever that's making you mad is that important to whereas though you like, damn. is affecting how I am as a person, as a man, as a woman, as whatever. You feel me? And we can't let it be that deep, bro. Like it's like you said, man, it's after that minute, bro, it's like, damn, do you you wanna stay mad? Like, all right. You you won't get, you know what I mean? You won't get them type of interactions. You gonna get them type of outcomes Deion: And. Jhalil: and shit. But then again, it goes back to what we talked about a couple episodes ago, bro. It's about what we eatin' It's about the shit that we putting in our body, the shit that we looking at on social media, like the clothes motherfuckers wearing and everything. It's like it it all take a toll too as well. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: 'Cause 'cause if it's like, damn, if you eating healthy, you e you Egyptian cotton everything, your vibration high, all of that, like you probably won't even stay mad like that. You feel me? You probably won't even get that angry. You'll be mad for a second, but you it's Deion: to do this. Jhalil: easier to catch yourself. But without that self reflection, bro, it's like, damn. You doing yourself and the world a disservice, like Not you personally, cause I already know you. You feel me? You you know how we give it up, bro. We can't be on that. Like but it's like to the Deion: computer. Jhalil: people who listen in, bro, it's like, man, that not only affects you, but it affects the people around you, bro. Your interactions, your opportunities, everything. And your day. It was like, Yeah, man. Deion: I think the biggest thing with it, right? And that's ahead of it is like self-love. You know what mean? Like. Slavery did that number on us where like we really hate we don't really like ourselves like that You could just tell by the way we do things and the way we carry shit like You don't really care if you live or die You know what mean? Like, if you don't care whether you live or die, you don't care what you eat. You don't care how Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: you carry yourself. You don't care how other people are gonna feel about what you're doing or none of that. And that's the attitude that we got. You know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: For the youngins to be smoking on the L and the trains and all that, it just show that you don't care about yourself. So you try and project that into the world. You know what saying? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: And people that don't align, a motherfucker that love themselves, a person that don't hate themselves, can't stand that type of person. Jhalil: The overt. Deion: You see what saying? So it's like, how can I hate myself when you walking around all happy and loving your life and all that? That's an attitude, bro. And then you add McDonald's onto that. That's a recipe of disaster, you feel me? And that's Jhalil: Right. Deion: what it is, you feel me? You better not catch nobody coming out McDonald's and they feeling that type of way. And this is the thing that we looking at as dangerous in Philly. Like this would make Philly, like you get what I'm saying? Because if a person is cloudy like that, you don't know what they capable of doing. So you Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: always got to watch your body. Like you get what I'm saying? And now we getting into trust and all of that. Like, don't trust. You know what I'm saying? You imagine that shit, bro. I'm like, you eat McDonald's? I don't trust you. Jhalil: Interesting. Deion: You start fucking the game up. You feel me with that? It's like, you know what mean? Because like, we are looking at it like, you don't smoke weed. I don't trust you. You know what mean? Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Deion: Like, white motherfuckers come to the hood, you either cop it or you the law or something, something out of them too. Jhalil: Yeah, real, right, like. Deion: And there ain't no either or, man. is you doing here? You get what I'm saying? So stuff like that make it unbelievable for stuff to even happen normally. So if you Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: normally would see a person's face, you like, hot. And that's the same thing vice versa. Like we go up North East or into the suburbs, into their neighborhoods. They looking at the same way. Like, fuck is y'all doing here? y'all gotta be coming to do some criminal activity or y'all coming to cop. You feel what I'm saying? Jhalil: Way. Deion: And these is all these mindsets. You get what I'm saying? So a person that can't control themselves by self control. Yeah, you lethal, bro. You know what mean? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: So if you put that in the cops' mind, then you start understanding why they so quick to... Because they visualizing the same thing. You know what mean? If a person can't Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deion: tell you to chill, and you still like, chill. It's like, no, I can't trust what's going to be your next movement or nothing. So my shit is going to be defensive, like it's going to be defense. You get what I'm saying? And so I'm like, you know, I think about all of that stuff just out of me dealing with me. You get what I'm saying? So yeah, we mentioned a lot of stuff about the community, but it really be like for each individual to really get that shit for yourself. Like, where's your drone? My drone is this, I'm telling y'all. Josh, shit is that. He telling y'all. You feel me? But I ain't trying to tell y'all that this is y'all shit. I'm just like, here's a base to what it could be. You know what mean? Start here. And you know what mean? If you really think about that shit, dig into your life. Be like, damn, do I really give a fuck about myself? Because you got to think about it, man. This stuff be placed in us unconsciously. So it could be in you, and you don't even know, bro. Jhalil: So you had that realization and then it be like, damn, like, but only you can like I ain't even gonna say only you. Cause it's like certain people around you and certain people get placed around you so you can see certain things. Feel me? But if you go around just super angry, just without that self love, bro, it's like man. Like you miss so many opportunities, bro. Like you you miss that opportunity to better yourself, bro. And it's like I ain't saying it's just easy to just wake up and be like, Man, I love myself and da da da da like because you know, a l a lot of us went through a lot of different shit. But it's at some point where you gotta be like, All right, man, I understand that this happened, but it's time to change it up. Like I at least gotta try to be what I wanna you be what I wanna see at least. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: Feel me, it's not just going you're not just going be negative all these years and just wake up positive. It takes some work. Like Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: shit, bro. It definitely takes work. Like I know for me personally, dog, for me to get like level headed and and like be happy again and all that shit, bro. I had to fall on my face a couple times. You feel me? I had to go through hard shit. Like, lose cribs, all different type of shit, lose jobs, can't get employed. Like dumb shit, but I had to go through that, bro. Like but then that shit made me to what I am today, bro. And I had to understand, like, no bro, it's alright. Like, some of that shit not always a fell, bro. Some of that shit is a fell forward, like. But you gotta be able to accept that shit, dog. Like you gotta be able you you Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: gotta be the change that you wanna see, basically, like. Can't just expect the world to just give you everything you want. You ain't even putting in no work. Like you still Deion: You Jhalil: got all this old shit. Like. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: Yeah, man, a lot of us be expecting like people to just be the bigger person. And like you could treat a person any type of way, but you expect them to be respectful to you. You feel me? You expect them to take care of you and all this, but when it's your turn to take care of the person, like you go left. You want some other shit. Like you don't take account No accountability, no nothing, bro. And then you just point the finger, bro. finger like now you look your finger old as shit you ninety years old you ain't changed shit like come on bro Deion: and Jhalil: like can't be doing that man bro right Deion: Yeah, and we all in it, you know what mean? we all in it. You know what saying? Because I forgot what I was about to say and shit. Jhalil: Yeah, I know I'm definitely still in it, dog. It'd be like the drive. Like when I'm driving, bro, like I still get mad as shit, like with a corny driver, bro. Like, you feel me? If I'm Deion: Ha ha ha ha ha. Jhalil: I you know I'm on the E Way all the time, bro. So it's like, all right, it's two lanes, bro. For example, right? You know the fast lane, you go ten over whatever over. You feel me? And then right next to this john is the slow lane. I hate when like two people drive the same exact speed and and like get in my way or like just be doing bullshit slowing the whole E-way up and I find myself mad as shit, bro. Like mad as shit to the point like if you stop, bro, we're gonna rumble. Like we're gonna Deion: Hmm. Jhalil: rumble, I'm gonna dupe you up, bro. Like real shit. And I'll be like, nah, bro, I can't get that mad. Like real. And then I look over at the person, person 86. I'll be like, damn, I'm drunk. So yeah, I'm Deion: and Jhalil: definitely still still in that aspect, bro. Like, my shit's Deion: Good. Jhalil: still zero to a 100. But it's like when I get to that 100, it's like, let's slow down, bro. You feel me? Is it really that fucking deep? Nah, so relax, nigga. You feel me? Deion: see my shit like that, but it's only when I'm by myself. Jhalil: Mm. Man, my shit don't matter. The kids me in the car, everything. I'm mad, man. Get the fuck out the throw the high beams on you. Like, bro, get out the way. Beep the horn at you. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: Like, come on, bro. Like that lane is designated for you, bro. Like this lane is dedicated to me. Like, you feel me? Just go ahead, bro. But if you going if we both going over, like Sh if this shit's 65, bro, we both going 75, 80. I don't expect you to go a bang. I'm not gonna get mad at you not going to be in or just because I got I'm in a rush or whatever. But it's the Deion: NUH Jhalil: fact that like you going under the speed limit and then you in the fast lane, bro. This the hammer. Like, get out of here with that. So that shit rub Deion: You Jhalil: me the wrong way, bro. Like, and I watch Deion: the end. Jhalil: how I drive, but You know, some people they don't got regards for other people, dog. And like that should that should raise my temper, bro. Deion: That's the deep of it, right? Like, that's really the trigger. Jhalil: Yeah, like you feel like your time Deion: It is not. Jhalil: and your your travels and all that is more important than everybody else and what they got going. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: And it's like, nah bro, this a collective. We all live here together, bro. We all share this rule. We all hit the DMV. We all hit to do the same shit to be able to drive, bro. Like, come on, man. You know the rules, bro. Deion: No, but I got to kick back. It's like, because of the where we come from and all that, it's a certain thing, you know what mean? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: And I'm talking about acceptance with certain things. So we think that we can think for everybody else. You know what mean? So they are thoughts. That's why I'm saying I'm in a car Jhalil: That reminds me. Deion: and I got my thoughts. I'm thinking all of this stuff and I'm living for you. I'm like, pussy. I'm saying all that you just said, Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: right? I'm saying all that you just said, like, what the fuck, man? Where you get your driver's license from that? But whole time, bro, God, what in league this John don't even play. He ain't got no swimming. All time this shit happening, right? Jhalil: Nigga car can't even go over 60. You gotta take it to the shop. You be like, die We all had that will before, bro. That shit don't pick up. You feel me? Like, but hey man, that's why the other lane is for you. You feel me? Deion: So I know the feeling like when I'm in a car and it's like that and I'm like, pussy fuck y'all. You know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: Like y'all, like I wish I could make this bitch go more than what it is. It's fucked up right now, you feel me? So, Jhalil: Mm. Deion: you know what mean? Like we all going through our shit in every car. You know mean? So because you in your car and you got your shit going. You know mean? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Really? Deion: Cause we done been on both sides. We done been on all the sides. You get me? I been to Joan where I got the flat and now I got drive two, three miles and everybody, yeah, dickhead. They giving it Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: to me on the, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, damn. And then I been the motherfucker behind the motherfucker too. Like get the fuck out the way, dickhead. You know what I'm Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: I understand that shit. Even though like, even with an understanding, you still be in your bag. You know what Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: I mean? Because like, your shit got an urgency or whatever. Like, that's why I'm saying I don't like being like that because it just keep me there all day. Now Jhalil: right, bro. Deion: everything be like that. You get what I'm saying? And I can't just turn it off like. It feel fake to me like like nigga Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: you just angry now you can snap and be happy you crazy Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: you got that what's that movie split or the the joan smile remember the joan smile yeah Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Fake. Deion: that it looks psychotic to me when you like could be angry at one second and then back to Jolly and like I'm like I don't know how people can do it but I see people do it. Jhalil: Yeah. See, I don't got the one minute turned off drunk, bro. My shit take a little bit. I be mad Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: as shit for a while, bro. But it's like I don't carry that alone. Like say if somebody called me on the phone while I'm mad as shit, I ain't about to transfer that to you. You feel me? Like that shit like, yo, what's the deal, bro? Deion: Yeah Jhalil: Behind this nut ass nigga in the jump. It's gonna be a bit at that point. Now I can, you know, get rid of it. Deion: Right. Jhalil: If it's just me, that shit man, my shit be intense, bro. I be right like, man, I'm about to buy a monster truck and just run your shit over. I'll be heated, bro, like buy a bullshit truck. Deion: That's why I'm saying when I got a passenger though, we engage it so it take me off of like the shit that's Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: in front of me. You get me? So, but if I'm by myself, it's like, you know what I'm saying? And then I got a thing too, being a Capricorn. I don't like when people see me like get upset and get rowdy and shit like that. You know what mean? So I don't be showing my hand. a lot of times, you get me? Like, you ain't gonna know my emotions and all that, like, but, you know what saying? So, that's why I'm saying all of these things be in our heads and shit, it don't really... You know, you know how it goes. Like you be thinking all this shit and then go through it and then none of the shit you thought about be be there. I just thought all this time. Jhalil: And some of the times, bro, that shit probably actually save our fucking life, bro. You feel me? Like, we Deion: Enjoy. Jhalil: don't even keep that in mind. Like, them times when we do be ballin', we get them intrusive thoughts, like yo, I'm about to just go around and like when you don't do that shit, bro, you be like, damn, that shit could have really saved your life, bro. Then when you Deion: And that's why I think about that shit too. I ain't gonna cut you off for years, bro. I remember a time where I'm angry and shit and I was about to go off and then a car just was like, yeah. I'm like, shit. See, that's what I'm saying about being cloudy and you can't make the right decision to go. You know what saying? Cause I'm so angry now and I'm just about to, and I ain't looking in the mirror and I ain't like. That one little instant of thought probably saved me from a big ass job. see, it don't take too many of them type of jobs for me to be like, no. Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Deion: Like you said, like, no, somebody's saving my life right now. I'm gonna stay right in the middle and I'm gonna go this 25. You feel me? Because especially on Broadway, now that 25 is on Broadway, I be trying to get to the store and get back to the crib, but at the same time, it's like, a lot of niggas save me from them tickets, bro. Why I'm steady cursing Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Bro sit, bro. Deion: them the fuck out, they save me from them tickets, like. Jhalil: Yeah. Cause them drones will stack up Deion: Rooster. Jhalil: fast, bro. It's it's so easy to go over twenty-five, bro. Like, come on, dog. Like, we ain't Deion: Right. Jhalil: driving no low ass like hamster car drones, bro. Our shit got some power in it. So it's like that shit natural anyway, bro. Niggas got like as men too, bro, we got a lot of testosterone and all that shit. So Deion: See you. Jhalil: it's like, bro, I get in the wheel, I'm ready to get busy. Like, you feel me on some transport Deion: you Jhalil: and shit. Not to put nobody else in danger, but just I know my abilities behind the wheel. You feel me? Deion: Right. Jhalil: But I can't ever think that my shit perfect or my time and my travel is more important than the next person basically. You feel me? 'Cause Deion: you later. Jhalil: you would lose, bro, thinking like that. Like Deion: And that's why I'm saying all them times, the anger and all that, it just kept piling. So imagine like all the days you get confined with them angry days. That's time you can't get back and stuff you could have been doing. But because in that funk, you in that anger, it's like a day just went by, two days just went by. ain't get nothing done. Like you just was encountered by angry problems after angry problems. You know what saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You start, then you start thinking like, damn, why my life gotta be like, and you never realize like you doing it to your life. And that's what I'm really Jhalil: Bro, right, bro. Deion: realizing. I'm like, damn, I'm doing this to my life. To not be happy is on me. You know what I'm saying? That ain't on nothing else. Like if I ain't at the job that I want to be at, if I ain't with the girl that I want to be with, if I ain't got... The car I want, like all of that's on me. You get me? Jhalil: Yeah, it's all doable. Like you feel me, it's all doable, bro. It ain't nobody like I don't I don't want him to get in this that shit be all mental, bro. And then it's like soon as you start you see some shit in your head, even if you don't like it. Once you start feeling a certain type of way about it, bro, like whether it's good or bad, bro, that's the thing about this shit. Like it manifesting, bro, like like once you get that thought, bro, if it's some negative shit, you gotta just kill it there. Cause once you put the emotions behind it. And then you start talking about it and all that, then that shit gonna Deion: you Jhalil: be exactly what you didn't want, bro. But it's like it's Deion: Mm. Jhalil: that same power with the things that you do want, bro. That's why like I feel as though like I always kinda has like good opportunities, bro, because I always thought highly of myself. Like some people might look at that shit as arrogance or cockiness and all that, but no, bro. It's like when you know where you headed, like you feel that shit, bro. Like, you know, when we Deion: . Jhalil: talk, we real passionate with our shit. Like So I put I put that Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: emotion in the things that I wanna do. Not shit that actually that I don't want to happen or the shit that I'm scared of and all I don't put that much emphasis on those things, bro. As soon Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: as the most the things you put the most energy into, that's what's gonna happen, bro. Niggas be talking that Deion: you there. Jhalil: street shit and well, I'm I'm gonna catch me a hat, dah, niggas kill me or this. Three days later, nigga dead. You feel me? Cause it's like you putting too much emotion in that, bro. But the motherfuckers who be like, nah, I'm gonna be a neuroscientist, I'm a neurologist, I'm going to school for it, and I'm da-da-da-da. Then you just get a call, like, yo, I don't well, I I know a guy, he referred you, da-da-da-da. He thinks you would be a great fit, and and then that shit just it'd tell you, bro, how to be in the world. Like, but we gotta be. wise enough to open our eyes and really see the shit that's in front of us, bro. And everything that we get decline from sometimes is not always a bad thing, bro. Sometimes it's just not something that's suited for you. But it's something that's Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: suited for all of us. You feel me? Like Deion: Yeah. And you know, we learn, man, that things that we don't want to let go be the things that be in our way. You know what saying? So Shorty wanted to lead that relationship. God tried to provide her with a new man that's better, but she still keep holding on to this old nigga. told him, she put the time in and you're like, all right, you're gonna waste some more time. You know what saying? And that man that God was trying to remove, I would just like to put a new one in. It's prolonged now. You know what I'm saying? So maybe on Jhalil: Nor do you like Deion: all levels, like that job that you, you know what I'm saying? You get fired from the job, you keep going back up there because you angry. that they fired you and shit like that. It's like, you ain't making room for this better drone that's about to come through. You know what I'm saying? And I guess that's what we call faith, right? Like stepping out on that, believing like that it is something greater later, you know I'm saying? And when Jhalil: Yeah, all right. Deion: you think about the thing that you holding on, that shit probably had you stressed. You probably wanted to get out of it. Like I say all the time, I like, I'm working and shit. I'm working, I'm working. I'm like, man, I wish I had some time off. And then I get the time off and I want to be back at work. Jhalil: That should be like universe, Deion: The fuck is this? You get what I'm saying? Jhalil: that's you asked for it, bro. You feel me? That's why you gotta be successful. Deion: Yeah. And that's why I'm saying if you cloudy, you not going to be able to receive it when it come because it's not going to be like a warning. It's not going to be like, well, here's what you asked. No, you got to know that this is what it is. You get what I'm saying? So I understand that until it dawned on me. Because my work days start really being like, I really got time now. Hold up. You get what I'm saying? Like, I ain't wanted to go this long. But then I'm like, nah, let me utilize this. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: Matter of fact, man, fuck all this other shit that I was like stressing about keeping a job for, like making sure I pay my bills and having money and all these things, Like, nah, like you wanted time to write your movie, your book or whatever, like take that time and do it. You get what I'm saying? So I had to really snap. out of that shit, get uncloudy and be like, let me start, you know mean? And like we talked about last time, like the more you think about something, sometimes like the harder it is to get into it, but just diving Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: into it. So when you got that time now and you felt about writing a book, you gotta just go write the book. Ain't no thinking, I got this to do. Yeah, just start writing. Jhalil: I don't got no ideas. Fuck all that. Get your pen, get your pad, and just go in, bro. Deion: You know what mean? And next thing you know, I had a couple pages, bro, and I was proud. And see, that proudness and energy or whatever, that move forward like, shit, like I can write some more. You know I'm saying? So now I'm getting into, nah, this feel, you know I'm saying? like, yeah, like, shit do work like that, man. Jhalil: And sometimes, bro, like what I'm realizing too now as I get older, like I don't know if people call it meditating or whatever, but like you know how is it's always so much shit going through a nigga mind. Like it's always thoughts, it's always something going on, it's always social media, it's always the phone. You feel me? But learning how to just like sit in that solidarity, bro, for ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes, like just just sitting there not thinking about nothing, bro. shit really come to you like that, bro. Like, Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: that's like, bro, that that shit been working for me, dog. Like I just sit there, like, I find myself on TikTok on on a day off or some shit. And I be on TikTok four hours in a row. I said, damn, I'm just watching videos, all type of shit. Deion: Thank Jhalil: Then I'm like, nah bro, I gotta chill with that shit. So then I started just asking myself a question like, damn, what I really wanna do out this y'all. Then I just sit there, bro. No matter how many Gmails come through, text messages come through, all that shit, bro. I just sit there, eyes closed for a minute, just thinking about nothing. You feel me? And then like it's always a like a a real natural thought that comes through. Like, nah, do this now. You feel me? Then when you up and do that now, then shit start to, you know? And each little win, bro, is a huge win. 'Cause they give you that energy boost that Deion: And then. Jhalil: you need to keep producing. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: So it's like, man, we need to learn to focus on like just being at peace with ourselves, bro, and taking that small win and making it a big jump, bro. Like, some people will look at a small win like it ain't even the win. But it's like, no, bro, that shit a little boost. Like, it's like extra HP or something real quick. You feel me? Like, and your shit boosts up. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: But it's like when we spend too much time worrying about everything and like All of these shit all the shit that been put on us, all these bills. It's almost time to go get the kids. Damn, I need gas for the car. Damn, I I wanna drink a little bit. Damn, I need like you feel me. Once we get caught in that, bro, then we look at the time. It's it's 12 o'clock AM. We like, damn, I ain't do shit today. You feel me? But think think in the circle, like So it's like, Deion: Okay. Jhalil: yo, man, like We all fall victim to that shit, but we gotta learn how to chill and just tell our mind to chill sometimes, bro. Real shit. The more that we do it, the easier life will get, bro. Deion: Don't even tell your mind to chill. Let it do what it's do. You just gotta manage you though. You get what I'm saying? That's what I'm in right now, that type of meditation where it's like, what helped me start loving me again is really being like, bro, all that stuff that I was doing a lot early in my life, it really wasn't me. You know what mean? Jhalil: Okay. Deion: So I gotta make that separation. Yeah, my mind is this because of all of these things. So now I gotta Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: change like what I'm putting into my mind. Because the mind, you can utilize it for the strengths. You know what mean? But if you don't utilize it, then it's gonna have weak, you know what I'm saying? Weak things that come along with it. You get me? So if you... If you angry and shit and always angry and you don't realize like what that is, your mind gonna make you weak for that, like constantly, Jhalil: And Deion: you know I'm saying? And vice versa. So if you recognize that you angry, like what we going through right now? And I'm like, nah, I gotta get out of this. Like I'm strengthening my mind to... be beneficial to me back, you get what I'm saying? So now when you sit in that meditation and you Jhalil: Right. Deion: getting them thoughts from your mind, you just letting them come in. Letting them come in. Jhalil: Ready to be right. Deion: Don't even say nothing to them, nothing like, cause you separate from them. What you are, Jhalil: Yeah Deion: what you is, is separate from what those thoughts is. Don't attach yourself to them at all, like just let them be. You get what I'm doing and try rumble because once you start trying rumble you in it. You know, so. Yeah, Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that's a countering, you feel me? Like Deion: now you really in the rumble and now you out the meditation. And so. You really got to be sit still and and let all that stuff be happening. after a while like it's gonna do what it's gonna do you know what mean and the you gonna start getting uncloudy you know what saying and then you Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: will know exactly what you need to do and shit it'll just start coming to you like and you gotta keep that shit going though you feel me because one one little settlement of like nah I'm chilling now I don't gotta worry about it, I'm good, I got it. One little thing Jhalil: Yeah, no, bruh. Deion: like that is just back to the rumble. It's over, you get what I'm saying? So you Jhalil: Real shit. Deion: really gotta manage that shit on a daily basis, man. You know what I'm saying? Because like they say, if you don't use it, you gonna lose it. Jhalil: Yeah, that's great. Deion: You know what mean? So we not utilizing our minds for the strength, we gonna lose it in weakness. Like, you get what I'm saying? And that's what I've been experiencing, brother, all this time, like, all this time, like. All the little stuff I done got in trouble I fell victim to my mind being weak. You get what I'm saying? Like that time I ain't one just walk away. Cause my mind kept saying like, no, I ain't letting this nigga play me. And I kept going. You get what I'm saying? And now I'm in a worse situation. Now I'm sitting there and now I got time to think. I, you know what I I didn't got booked and all this old goofy shit. You know I'm saying? And that's not being in control of your mind because if You allow something to come, like take you away from your mission and shit like that. It's like, that's weak. You get what I'm saying? A lot of times when I'm going to... Jhalil: Real right, bro. And ain't no part of jail being in like that shit is not included. You feel me? Like jail and getting Deion: No. Jhalil: booked and getting being on punishment. That shit is not like a part of this shit, bro. But it's like, damn, that's that comes from when you fall victim to your thoughts too much, bro. And Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: you start listening to everything. You feel me? Everything. Some of the shit you supposed to just hair in the one air out the other, bro. Like everything not for you that passed through you. Like, we gotta keep that in mind too, bro. You might hear some shit, make you ru rub you the wrong way, but then you be like, Damn, that don't apply though. I gotta let it fly. You feel me? Deion: Hell yeah, look. Because we talking about like, that's the difference between, you know, guys going to jail and not. You know what saying? And think about it, that's playing in your own mind. You know I'm saying? Like, that's playing in your own mind. And. Like we talked about before like your mind play you like that and then you you actually go do the thing and then you be booked and then your mind be talking shit about you like dickhead Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Like you get what I'm saying? And now you ready punch yourself in the head You know what saying? Because you like shut the fuck up pussy you done told me to do it Jhalil: Alright, bro. That should be so like, Deion: I'm going go with that. Jhalil: bro, that shit crazy, dog. It definitely be some little spin moves in that job, bro. You fall for that shit, you done for a second, like Y'all Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: had them little thoughts, man. Real shit, dog. I got booked for that little bit of time. I'm like, damn, bro. Like this crazy. I'm looking at Good News America, bro. Like this darn Philly, I always tell a story, bro. Philly Fashion Week, this one, you know, we shootin' shit up, bro. This money shy smooth days, like we we doing all that, you feel me? And then it's like, damn, I get caught up for some bullshit. Now I'm sitting in jail watching the T V join in the rec room. The spot that I'm supposed to be in on on Good News America and all that, Good News Philadelphia, somebody else doing it. And I'm like, damn, Deion: Well. Jhalil: I'm in Harry Book, you feel like I felt crazy as shit, bro. Deion: There's a file on it. Jhalil: Like That shit had me hot in that jump, bro. At that that point, man, I'm like, dog, I can't I can't get tricked like this no more, Deion: do. Jhalil: dog. I'm on some dumb shit. But I had to accept it though. Cause ain't nobody put me there. You feel me? Ain't nobody give me the idea to do this or line me up, but none of that, nigga. I line myself up, bro. But that acceptance was Deion: or Jhalil: enough to me like, no, I ain't doing that shit no more. You feel me? Deion: Good. Jhalil: I gotta find a different way to do things if I want different outcomes that happen. Deion: It's just faith, bro. It's faith. For real, because if you like, you take 1,000 steps to get to one corner to the other one, And you about to go around the corner, and you at like 999, but you gotta go back for something or something. You know what I'm saying? And now, you don't know. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: what's going to happen right around that corner. You get what I'm saying? So God be on faith. You know what saying? You working at this job, you doing all this shit, right? Like you ain't even know, like, and we don't give ourselves grace enough to allow it to happen. We put the panic button on like, now I gotta get this money two days away from like being on good day or whatever. I'm just using your job. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: two days away from me and then you like, no, I gotta get this money and buy this bud real quick. And then you get booked and then like, now you're two days around the corner, it's long gone or all Jhalil: All right, bro. Deion: kinds of shit, bro. I done been in that situation so many times, bro. I done pushed the panic button, make a move and then come to find out just around the corner was a... with something beneficial or good for me. You get what I'm saying? But me being eager and them putting this, you know what saying? Anxiety on niggas. It had had you like that. You Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: know what I'm saying? And we, man, we keep missing our blessings. Jhalil: It's crazy, cause that shit be like anxiety. Like we don't even be peeping, like all that anxious shit and like all that sense of urgency and all that shit, bro, that shit ties in with that. Anxiety, bro. So it's like, damn, we don't even be knowing that we be going through this shit. Niggas having anxiety attacks. Cause it's like, damn, next week I gotta pay this bread or I'm I'm getting kicked the fuck out of this crib. So it's like That shit had your shit on level hundred, you feel me? Now it was like you about to go do something crazy. Whereas like, damn, now you be sitting in jail, your phone ringing for this other opportunity that could have brought you back. You mean like, yo, Deion: in. Jhalil: man, life got a crazy way of playing, but it's like the older Deion: Thank Jhalil: you get, bro, the more experiences you go Deion: Thank Jhalil: through, you really start to understand, like, no, let me slow down, bro. Real reps. Deion: You be in the motherfuckin' Jhalil: We gotta say fuck them bills sometimes, bro. That shit gonna get paid. But like don't do nothing crazy like to go try to pay. That's the worst time to go try to get the bread. Like now if you already got some bread, you like you make a dumbass decision, let me go do this to get some bread. You be cool. You feel me? But when you desperate, like, yo, that's the worst time. Like you will get killed. Like, Deion: Dude. Jhalil: bro, like you'll get killed, you'll die. Deion: you Jhalil: Do something like too hasty, fuck your whole shit up, bro. So it's like, Deion: Thanks. Jhalil: no, bro, they they the worst times to do it, man. If you broke, a couple more hours of being broke ain't gonna hurt you. You feel me? Like, but try and go do it fast. Deion: No, when you in it though, I ain't gonna lie, when you in it though, it's hard to see that shit. It's hard to not be in it. Jhalil: Yeah, that's definitely hard. Deion: It's hard to be like, I'm broke now and I'm gonna sit there and stay broke tomorrow. No, you be like ants in your pants, you feel me? You go and get up and dance. Jhalil: Rap stomach growling. You'd be like, damn, I need to do something. Deion: This shit goofy you in the district talking about, hey yo, yo, can you just answer the call? That was the call I was waiting for, that's the job. You're like, bro, ain't nobody, that's it, it's over. I'm not letting Jhalil: Yeah, like real, right, but Deion: you out there, Sal, you're not gonna get this job, that shit is done. You know what I'm saying? And you sitting there like, you done ass guard now that's about the guard. Jhalil: Real red growing again. Deion: He a nut now cause you booked. You know what I'm saying? Now he a nut. I fucked my parents up. You feel me? Jhalil: Right, he ain't even know you before you went in that drone. You feel me? I was like, how you mad at this boy, bro? He's just doing his job. You feel me? He stayed around to get the fucking job. You feel me? He ain't do nothing hasty. Like, but until we start looking in that Deion: Yeah. But I gave it back. Jhalil: mirror, we got it. Deion: That's how we be looking at it though, cause I know it ain't really about the guard. It's really you calling yourself another ass nigga, but it just feel better outwards when you say it. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: But you really talking to yourself like I'm a nut ass nigga like I'm in a space where now I try to say something to a motherfucker and they got the power to be like shut up nigga you missed that call. You put yourself in that space where this man can talk to you like that. And when I bro that's my realization bro when I was I was booked I was free and then I was booked and I'm sitting in front of the judge and I'm nervous as shit on what he about to do with my life and I'm like how the fuck I just was in a free space and now I'm in a space where another man about to judge my life like no I got to take control of my own life and if I don't do shit else bro it won't be to come back in front of this shit and let somebody be the judge or, or you know what mean? The person that, the guy my motherfucking wife and everything. But I ain't never, man, you couldn't, you couldn't, couldn't leave no situation like Jhalil: Bro, it's cool, bro, real shit. I don't even jaywalk or nothing no more. I'd be like, man, fuck that. I ain't breaking no rules, bro. Deion: that. Like, mm-mm. And that's why I'm saying, like, I might be bored, all that shit, but I, I might. be having a feeling like, damn man, I wanna get back outside. But all that shit get dismissed, cause I'm like outside could turn into, you know what I'm saying? Because bro, when you in places that you ain't supposed to be, like I told you before, we got in a lot of trouble cause we was just random. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: You randomly here, you randomly here. There's no set destination for what's going on. You get what I'm saying? So now I'm like, no, I got set destinations. Like if it ain't going A, B, C, I'm not, no. And I'd be better with myself. Like damn, I do wanna go hang out on the block and see my niggas, see what's up with them and all that. But it'd be like, no, like just randomly going down there. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: And then some random shit happens, like, and I can't explain that randomness to my kids. That's how I look at a lot of If I can't explain it to my kids, I'll be like, nah, bro, you feel me? Because if I get in, nah, son. couldn't He like, dad, why you didn't just walk away? He got the sound. Like you get me? He not Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: cloudy like we are. He makes Jhalil: Mm. Deion: sense. He common sense. He straight to what makes sense. But you tell me all the time, don't let nobody move you from words and shit like that. How you, you get what I'm saying? So I can't explain that to my kid that I went off the rocker. Cause what other niggas was saying and now I'm booked and away from them Jhalil: All right, bro. Deion: I just don't add up like you get what I'm saying. So I gotta be in control of this car Every given time, okay If a text come I can't even look like you get what I'm saying like you take your motherfucking eyes off this This road of life if you want and somebody else would be controlling the world, bro Jhalil: Right, bro. All that freestyle and shit, that's over, bro. Like that's that's Deion: You're right. Jhalil: a young man's sport anyway. Like that's when you learning. Like that's that's a learning stage, bro. But it's like at this age, bro, you know, it's our job to be teaching. Like we still learn in too as well, but bro, it's our job. It's it's like our duty to like pass on what we know to you man, to make this Deion: dude Jhalil: shit better. Like Imagine if all the ancestors, bro, didn't pass down all these remedies and what to eat and what to do and how to do hair and how to take care of your like if they ain't passed that on, bro, if they was being selfish like a lot of people is today, bro, like we'd be way more scrambled than we are at this current time, bro. So it's like now at this age, bro, it's like all that freestyling shit done. Just like you said, bro, if it ain't A, B, and C. If I don't know what's what's going on, if I don't feel the situation at hand, I'm not doing it, bro. I don't give a fuck what nobody think. You feel me? Cause at the end of the day, bro, it's this yeah. Like, it's for you, bro. Deion: Thank Jhalil: So once you go off the track that's meant for you, you you bang out. Real shit. Deion: And I remember when people, right, when we was young, you'd just be like, come on, bro, you bitchin'. And that one jaw, that Jhalil: Yeah, talk you cover right into it, like Deion: one jaw on the, like, I be like, if I give into that at any point in my adulthood, I'm cooked. I'm cooked, bro. If a nigga be like, come on, bro, like, you need the money, bro, like, you know what I'm sayin'? you bitchin', bro. You trippin' me up, we out. If I go through with Jhalil: We have this. Deion: that. Listen, I'm telling niggas from the rip, please believe me or not, I'm bitching. Yes, I am. What are you talking Jhalil: Got too much to lose, bro. Deion: about? I'm bitching. I'm bitching not on some sucker shit. I'm bitching from half of the Tell My Kids. Jhalil: Bro, that's why I said there's a time period for all that. That's a young man, John. Really? That's shit. Deion: The end results of that, bro. I'm busy, bro. They my wardens. You know what saying? They my motherfucking keepers, you feel me? Like, if I can't give it to them straight like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, nah, bro. Y'all Jhalil: Yeah, no. Deion: fuck, y'all niggas can't beat me for real in real life for real. to say I'm busy don't mean nothing. But my kids, they have beat me up, bro. Worse than you could ever... Worse than you could ever... You hear me? Yeah! Jhalil: Mm. Yeah, right, right, bro. Without no hands. You'd be like, damn, think about that shit for the next five years, next 10 years, 20 years. You'd be like, damn. Deion: Cause think about you as a kid and how you beat your parents up for this stuff. You get what I'm saying? So I'm already knowing like, plus I get that karma on top of anything else I'm doing. You feel me? So by the time they get to my kids, they really duking me. You feel me? Like, I don't want them to move. Jhalil: Yeah, bro. It was a time for all that shit. That was like before we had kids and shit. Cause we used to be random with it. It'd be 12 a.m. We'd be like, yo, bro, let's go down, let's go down HP. Let's go like let's go to the after hour and and on Ty Yoga. Like, nigga, like we was in that job, like, bro, we Deion: you Jhalil: In a whole different hood, don't know nobody in that jaw, bottles in the hand, like that shit was poppin'. But now it's like that shit like I don't I don't feel like that makes a fit no more. We used to freestyle and and be safe with this shit because like we ain't really had the same responsibilities or care that we got now, bro. But then Deion: Where we was in it. Jhalil: Yeah, we was in it, bro. Now when you out of it, I'd be like, damn, you you Deion: EW Jhalil: still be going down there? You wild? Like fuck wrong with you? Deion: You out of it too long, bro. You out of it too long. And if you associate how you operated back then with some new shit that you don't really know nothing about now, you feel me? Just cause you Jhalil: You Atari. Right, right. Deion: think like, nigga, I was in the streets. These streets different than your archers. Like, that's the day, the same. So you go out there thinking Jhalil: Yo, that's just so different, bro. Like even when we was Deion: you holding the same shit to regard. Everybody looking at you retarded. Jhalil: And our shit was totally different. Like you could get in a law of verbal joints. Some niggas had gets and all that shit. But like we was like in a mix at a time where like you would still mix it out. You feel me? You would still do this, do that, handle it other ways. But now it's like, bro, that shit all of that shit is out the window, bro. Our shit ain't compatible with nowadays. That's why I said, man, I ain't sending my kids the karate and all that bullshit. Let you jump in the karate pools, nigga, you gonna get shot. You feel me? It's not Deion: You Jhalil: relevant. Like real shit. It's not relevant to the Deion: No, you gotta be super nice. Jhalil: day. Deion: I mean, it is, but you gotta be super nice. Jhalil: That's what I'm saying. But as soon as they see you get in the stance, they already think about, you know, man, like, but as soon as you get in the stance to do Taekwondo, bro, you're gonna be laying on the fucking ground. You're done. Like So it's like it's a whole different time, bro. I be trying to teach my young boy how to de escalate shit. Like, even with like And and team management and all of that shit, bro. Cause it's gonna be certain things that you can see because you around these things already, like how I teach you how to de-escalate, how I teach you to the carry yourself and all that. And you're gonna learn your own ways. Everything that I teach you now, it might not be relevant for right now, but it will be a time where it's of relevance, you feel me? Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: So it's like, bro, it's our job to teach, but at the same time, we still learn too, bro. So I gotta learn shit from my young boy. He in the mix. You feel? Not in the mix on some street shit, but he's around. He's outside. Like they just Deion: Nah, you're not going- Jhalil: hosted a party, bro. My young boy, Sun Suits, all of them, they just hosted a party, bro. Whole that shit was cracking, dawg. Deion: That's what's up. Jhalil: Yeah, that shit was cracking, bro. I'm like, yo, and anybody rumble, any of that? He like, nah. I said, yo, well, y'all did a great fucking job, bro. Like, you feel me? Like Deion: Thank Jhalil: that's that's what it's about. Have fun. Feel me? But don't let all that outside shit, y'all doing all this group chatting, beef shit and all that. Don't let that shit get into y'all mixture, bro. Cause y'all got a good thing going. So it's like now more likely for you to I I'm gonna support you with your Jones and all that. You feel me? But if you want some other shit and you anything going around in your presence now, you attached to that, bro. So it's like, man, I had a proud dad moment yesterday, bro. Deion: yeah. And they gotta stay focused too, right? Because like when people see things going on like that. the interference come about, the challenge, whether you go stay focused or you go jump shit. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: You get what I'm saying? So I seen it a lot when we was coming up, guys that used to do parties and dance and all of that. We was just having fun. That was the shit. You know what mean? Even with the rap shit, it was just getting together and rap. When you... got some dickheads and assholes and people that don't love themselves and don't got shit going for themselves, they infiltrate. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You know what I'm saying? Then the next thing you know, like now your party's getting shot up now. You know what I'm saying? Like all kinds of goofy shit happening to derail y'all from going with Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: y'all love and having fun. You get what I'm saying? We done seen that shit happen so many times. You get what I'm saying? Jhalil: All right, bro. Deion: I just hope like, you know what mean? Like they don't allow that type of thing to get in they joint, you feel me? Cause even a nigga, Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: even a nigga put his arm around a nigga. I see y'all got the parties and shit like, let me get in on that joint. Now you letting outside niggas in and they get to try influence the shit. Now you throwing parties different than what y'all squad is for. And then now they bring a different energy to the joint. and it just Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: fucks the whole join up. Jhalil: Yeah, bro, right, bro. That's why I was like, man, that shit like is is a huge benefit, bro, like that now like I'm at a age and I got kids and I can be in my kids life. You feel me? 'Cause it's like, man, we done went through all of this shit. Like not every single thing, but we done went through a lot of this shit and seen enough to whereas though we can give our kids that game, bro. You feel me? Like Deion: Things don't gotta be the same. It's the methods and all of that. You get what I'm saying? Like you said, we was kids before. Now, we might have had Dreamcast in 64 and they just got, you know, PS and Xbox or the PC. You get what I'm saying? But that stuff don't matter. It's about like the methods of stuff. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: You get what I'm saying? And that's what it really is, We as older people guys realized like we was kids too. But we be Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: looking at the things and not like the actual. What I'm saying, like, you ain't looking at the kid, you looking at the things that the kid is doing. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You know what saying? And I think about that, like, when my mom and them was coming out of, like, vinyls and tapes and all that, it's like, the focus becomes, now you're going down CDs. Like, what's, what the evolving of the thing Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: gotta do with how we operate with it? You get what I'm saying? So the same way that my mom loved the dance and loved that music is the same way I love the music I'm in my era with. Jhalil: Exactly. Deion: You see what I'm saying? Like that didn't change. Like you love what you loved as a kid. I love what I love as my kid in my era. Our kids gonna love what they love in they era. You know what saying? Jhalil: Rap and it ain't really a difference, bro. It's just a time. Deion: So when you target the thing, then you start downing the kid. with y'all out here listening to and this like, now you degrade in me because my love and era of music. You get what I'm saying? it, and you gotta go back to your mom did that same thing with you. So now you're trying to do that with us. It's like, no, stop doing that, man. That's don't, Jhalil: Sure. Deion: you know what I'm saying? Cause. Jhalil: Hey the c I had to catch myself a few times. Deion: Could people be like, our music, our music was better than your music? Like, what? No, your music made y'all have sex too. Jhalil: Bro, real rap. Our parents listening to Uncle Deion: Yum! Jhalil: Luke, Uncle Luke and all them, bro. Like, come on, it ain't really no difference, bro. Like that shit was so freaky. Like, you feel me? Now it's like this shit freaky. We like, man, y'all listen to this. That's why I'm like, no, I had to catch myself like, now of course I ain't just gonna be letting my daughter listen to anything. But at the same time, I understand what's going on. Like I understand the radio. I understand all of that shit. Like, so it's like, it's less of an attack on the substance, bro. It's just more of a teaching moment for her. Like, Deion: Right. Jhalil: feel me? Like, Deion: Now, if you want some shit, like, what's making you want to listen to this type of music and then you get into the child? That's different. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: You get what I'm saying? That's different. That's not, like, I ain't going to shame my kids for, why are you listening to this bullshit? Like, when you go like that, you shaming me. Like, you try and make it seem like what I pick is not good enough. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: So what are you saying to me as a person? Like, I'm making bad choices in music. You get what I'm Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: saying? So if that's the case, then like show me a better way. Don't come at it like that. You get what I'm saying? Like, no, come down to my level of it and be like, me where we at. Like you as a kid, you wanted to listen to what you listen to. That's how my kids would come at me like. But dad, you was young and you had toys. You get what I'm saying? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: And they had said, it might not been this type of toy, you had a toy. What was your, matter of fact, that's how they be, they'd be like, dad, what was your favorite toy when you was a young one? Jhalil: Mm. Then that shit go right back to, you what I mean? You'd be like, damn, like Rock sock robots, all this other shit, you know? And I was looking at my like choice of music too. I'm like, damn, I was a pup, bro. I'm listening to DMX, Rough Riders, I'm listening Deion: Yeah Jhalil: to styles in them, you feel me? I'm like, bro, I swear like that shit wasn't for my age. So like How can I talk shit? You feel me? It's the same thing. Deion: think about it too though like we just was in it so that's what I think about too like yeah they might be like dancing and all of this shit and then don't have no relationship to the words that's being said. Jhalil: Yeah, real rap. It's all beats. It's all like, yeah. Deion: Now they might repeat it because that's what they hear but at the same time it's like because that's what you just made me think about that shit like listening to X in them, it was like we was just in it, the dog bark and all that shit. Like, you know what mean? But now, if I listen to it now, I got more of an understanding of what he actually was saying and all of that. You know what saying? But at that time, I ain't understand all that shit. I listened back to Jhalil: Bro, that's it. Deion: Jay-Z's shit. I remember when I was a young boy, I'm like. I can't fuck with JJ saying all these words and all this shit. I ain't listen. I ain't fucking with boy like you feel me, Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Deion: But like now I'm older and I got my mature air. I listen to that shit different. That shit be like, dang, he was saying some, but I Jhalil: right. Deion: wasn't, he was 27. I wasn't even that age. You get what I'm saying? So for me to even understand what he was talking about, it wasn't even fit for me at that time anyway. Like, you get what I'm saying? just, he was, Jhalil: Yeah, yeah. Deion: he just came out. So that's what was. out. You get what I'm saying? So now when we get in the car, it's sexy red in them. And I'm like, like, shit, like, but I don't, I don't shame them. don't get, you know what mean? Because I know too, when they get older and they listen back, they go, my, what the fuck was we listening to? You get what I'm saying? So it's like, Jhalil: Bro. It's on bullshit, but Deion: it's gonna be like, you know what I mean? Like, so I'll be like, I don't, there's some things I just don't got an affair with because it's meant for my kids to go through their journey, whatever journey God got for them. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: So a lot of times we be super trying to be protective as parents to be like, no, you can't do this. You know what mean? And water flow where it's least resistant. Jhalil: Yeah, maybe. Deion: So you might think you helicoptering over your children, but it's loop way that water gonna flow and find them and then they gonna engage in whatever that situation is because it's for their life. You know what I'm saying? And there's nothing we gonna be able to do about it. You get what I'm saying? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: Your mom try to keep you away from like fighting and all of these things. Water flows where it's least resistant. You're Jhalil: Ray. Deion: gonna find yourself in a rumble. And you're gonna have to do something in Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: that moment. You get me? Jhalil: Yeah, definitely, duh. Deion: And all of that shit going trickle down. Now you gotta go back and tell your mom that you and whatever she says from there, gonna start shaping everything. Or what your pops say like, I was watching the show the other day and the pop was like, the kid came home saying that another kid beat him up at school. And he like, what you gonna do about it? And my dream, he gave him a gun and they didn't do all these hunting and all that. So, you know, the kid grabbed his gun and took it to school and shot the boy. Yeah, I mean, it was Jhalil: And Deion: long. It was Lord and Order episode of Lord and Order. Right. So then they tried. Jhalil: yeah. Deion: They prosecuted the dad for it. Because they like you basically put it in his hand and and gassed him up like that. You get what I'm saying? So. stuff like that all going shape how everything be going you get what i'm saying and then it be God that gotta grab people and maneuver them back to where he want them to go you get what i'm saying Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. Right. We supposed to observe a little bit more instead of trying to dictate and all that shit. And it's Deion: Yay! Jhalil: crazy too that you said Law and Order, bro. That's that's dupe shit, man. Like every night he Deion: you Jhalil: watching Law and Order, bro. That's his go to sleep show. Like he be out for an hour just watching everything. I say, Young boy's gonna be start Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: it. That's that's his shot, bro. He only two. Deion: Thank Jhalil: Bro, right, you hear that. It should be like, you mean he on it, bro? Deion: Let's shoot! Jhalil: I say. Deion: That's my shit too. Like any shit like Jhalil: Hey, that's a shot. Where dog screams? Deion: that, bro. Cause like he watching all that shit. He watching everything. Like, so, know what mean? He getting it like, and like we say, our only job is to curate. Like, mean, cultivate, you know I'm saying? Jhalil: Cultivate, yeah. Deion: Point them in the right directions and shit, but always allow them to have these. they think whatever it is that's in them. You know what mean? And I feel like that's the thing that was took away from a lot of kids. You know what saying? As time went on, like different kids, like the parents beat them down with protection and all these Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: other things, dictatorship. You know what I'm saying? And then you training people all for your training. So if you had a failed training, now you trying to retrain some, like, it just get. Jhalil: Yeah. On work like that, bro, then life be harder. Like that shit get harder, bro. But when it's a natural Deion: Good! Jhalil: flow, it's like they learn they little lessons and then keep pushing. Then they refer back to the shit that they learned from you as the parent. Then they be like, all right, now I see what he meant. Now I see what she meant and then they can move a little better. But when it's like, no, Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: you not doing this. You doing this Then it's like, Deion: Mm. Jhalil: Damn, you you taking away they like, you know what I mean, they natural drone, like The natural essence or whatever that they're interested in, bro. And we can't do that, man. Deion: And you're lying in the breath. Think about it. If your parents giving you direction and order like that, how you ever gonna lead your own life for yourself? That means somebody's always gonna be giving you direction. You get what I'm saying? Like, now you're accepted to go to the job where they telling you what to do every day. Now you're Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: accepted to go into school and they telling you all of these, like, you know what I'm saying? And you don't even realize this is what's happening. You get what I'm saying? Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: We definitely gotta pay attention to that. You know what saying? Because that turns into later, us being 40 and 36 now, and we trying to figure out how to get back to ourselves. At the holo-sad moment. You know what mean? Jhalil: Yeah, right, bro. Having to relearn our whole shit. Like Deion: So many different people have been influences and trainers in our lives that now we sit here like, yo, none of that stuff ever was me. Now you try and live you after all that time. That's what all the clouds are. You get Jhalil: Mm. Deion: me? So now you got like weed through all that shit. this ain't me. ain't. No, that was them. I do agree with it. I was like, you know what I'm saying? So you swimming through all these clouds, trying to get uncloudy. You know what mean? Jhalil: All right, bro. And it don't just be your parents either. It be your parents, it'd be your your environments, it'd be the teachers, it'd be like it's it's it's too much influence on like a single person, bro. Like we just gotta Deion: and Jhalil: get better at like realizing like damn this this their life to live. Now I ain't saying let them go out and wild the fuck out or none of that. No, keep it directional to but also Get them that little bit of space to where as though like they can really test this shit out and learn the right way, bro. So then when you get older, Deion: Thank you. Jhalil: it ain't all these regrets about damn man, I d I always listen to my dad. I knew I wanted to be a painter. Why the fuck I'm in school for law? Unhappy. You feel me? So it's like and we gotta teach our kids too. Like, I'm trying to teach them now that like you know everything not about bread. Sometimes you just Deion: you Jhalil: gotta find things you genuinely love. Deion: Right. Jhalil: Like and then when you do that, all of that come with it. Like just imagine, bro, we was taught to be like, yo, do what you love. You do that shit to the max, you get the payout for it, you get the notoriety for it, everything. And you happy to do it. So it's not a hindrance. But when somebody force you to do something like, yeah, well, your great dad, your great granddad, your great grandma, your mom, dad was all police officers, so you gonna be a police officer. He like, nigga, I don't really fuck with all that. I wanna be a lawyer to keep motherfuckers out of jail. Like, you feel me? And we forcing them to do all of these things, like, no, bro, that's not the way. Real rare. Deion: But that's not what saying. Then that turns into you being a grown ass person and you angry. Jhalil: Right, bro. Deion: You what I mean? You angry as shit. You ain't really gonna live none of your life for real. This whole time. Jhalil: We tryna grow up and make our parents proud and all of this and all that and we forget about self. Deion: Because of the decisions that you had to make based on poverty and based on this and that, now you upset with yourself. You don't even like yourself based on all of the things that you had to do to get to this point. You get what I'm saying? So all of that stuff is collective, you know what saying? And it's a full circle at that point, you know I'm saying? There ain't pieces. that's outside of that. You know what I'm saying? Everything is inclusive. Everything. Our whole childhood, our parents' childhood, everything is all... You know what Jhalil: Crazy. Deion: I'm saying? And that's the shift though, you know what mean? That's the shift that we gotta really take heed about. and shift this whole thing around. So because of the stuff that we then accepted to be our lives, we like, this how it's supposed to be. And this may be who I am and all of it is like, you don't know that you would be that same person. You ain't had to go through all these tragedies and traumas and all of this to get to the other side. No, I don't believe it. You feel me? Jhalil: Right. Deion: I don't believe that we had to make it from the mud and it's a better feeling. Jhalil: Yeah, like dog, that's all bullshit. Like to just get you to be accepted of this shit. Deion: Don't fucking tell me if I ain't never get punched in my face, like, I ain't gonna know what it's like. It's like, no. Why do I even have to go through a whole life of somebody having to punch me in my face for me to feel it and for me to, and then return, act off of it, what happens then? I don't even want to know what that's like. If I can go through a whole life without getting punched, that's cool. Why can't that be? You get what I'm saying? Like, why would it? I heard some real shit the other day. It was from a movie I was watching. Jhalil: Ready? So Deion: He said, slavery taught us how to survive, but it didn't teach us how to live. And that touched me. I'm like, damn, Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: that's some real ass shit right there. Because all we know how to do is survive out this bitch, bro. It's new. Jhalil: Bro, survive game on a hundred percent. Real right, but live game. Deion: You know what mean? So that's what I'm saying. And that survival is like, no, you gotta get punched in your face so you know how it feels or you can rumble and stand and last. It's like, nah, bro. That's slavery survival shit. no. Living is like, yo, you ain't good your whole life. You ain't never had to go through a disease or nothing. Because you ain't Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: good. You ate healthy, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I ever had the Jhalil: All right. Deion: rumble of my life. I was living like, damn, I lived a good life. You don't even Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: know how to fan them that, damn, what's a good life? Jhalil: Then on the flip side, it's like, bro. Deion: We don't even know that. We don't... A light, bro. You ain't never go do a rumble. Jhalil: Dog. And when we doing so much surviving, it's like, damn, when we when we do try to live, it's like we don't even know how to live. Like we don't know, like when we got some downtime, we Deion: You're on AMB1 Jhalil: got some extra paper. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do for fun. None of that. Like, you feel me? It I'm just like, damn, I'm just out here. I don't even I'm still lost. Deion: You like, where the drama at? Jhalil: You feel me? So it's like, that shit crazy, dog. Like. We really gotta learn how to live Deion: Bro, you be nice. What a job. Jhalil: all over again, dog. And it's like, damn, it's cause we not used to it. When it's like some people they they had the opportunities and then can live good and then that it just like they don't trust it. You feel me? They don't like they'll do something to Deion: Cause you ain't survived me. Jhalil: throw some yeah, throw some survival in it, the the make it feel appropriate, to make it feel comfortable and all that. And that's like, Deion: No. Jhalil: bro, we doing too much of that, bro. Real shit. Deion: Cookin' us. Jhalil: Cookies, dog, bro, right. We burnt. Deion: But I seen that and I said, damn man, slavery taught us how to survive, not to live. I said, damn man. Cause you gotta think about it, pig feet, all that shit was survival, just something to eat. And I think about all the times we went to the Chinese store, just to survive for that night, eating rice and gravy. Like, yank, like, you food, like, just. Jhalil: Rice and gravy. That shit was like two dollars at that time, bro. Two yanks. It'd be a whole jump. Deion: Listen, we just need to get through the night like type time and we eating whatever bro. You accepting Jhalil: Really? Deion: whatever bro, just to survive like, and it's like, no, they're not here everybody. Black people resilient and I'm like, damn bro. Fuck we gotta be resilient like that for eating a whole pig and all that. Motherfucker got to... Yeah, I didn't know. Jhalil: Pig ass, pig stomach. Like Deion: Boot on your face, you just taking it like... No, bro. That ain't nothing. Jhalil: like even even when it comes to like some so-called delicacies bro why is we eating a fucking oxtail why is we eating a shrimp why we eating crabs why we eating shit Deion: Niggas always talk about where the fuck is the ox at in the USA? Jhalil: Bro, it it ain't no more ox left, bro. They don't got no toe. They out here like like rock wild. No toes on the ox. I ain't come on, bro. What is an ox? Where is where do they be? You feel me? Get out of here with that, bro. Deion: But them joes coming big as shit down in the pack. Them joes be like, four, Hawkstow, Jhalil: I'm fool, bro. Deion: 1899. Like, he like, God damn. Jhalil: All the shit that's dangerous to your health, bro, that should be like expensive too. Like it'd be crazy, bro. Two Deion: in Jhalil: dozen crabs, seventy dollars. You be like, yo, Deion: you Jhalil: bro, like hey, clean like we eating clams and and all this shit that really filter the water. Then we look at the water, that shit brown. That shit green. You can't even see through the water no more, bro. Like Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: And we wondering why, like nigga, we eating everything that clean the water. That's like taking your vacuum cleaner filter out and then eating that and then expecting for it to still fit. Like, what is we doing? Deion: Very good. Jhalil: Yeah, but it's like people when you you get that and then you say that to people, they be like, Well, I I always was eating it. I ain't never had you be like, Damn, bro, like you doing yourself a huge disservice, Deion: and Jhalil: 'cause he real right like Deion: And they minding I keep the survival going so it's like You mean it'd be hard for a nigga to turn the switch off when you lie You what mean? Nigga be so in the line. You like, yo bro, you court, like stop. Why you keep lying, bro? I'm like, you're like, no, bro, swear to God, promise. Yo, make me boy and shoot you in your fucking face right there. And that's how hard it be when you already eaten like that for so long. You like, you can't stop the lie. Like, you're like, no. You're gonna start making shit up for it, you know what I Jhalil: Real Rapid. Then not not realizing that's that's altering your fucking thinking too. To be able to even stop Deion: Mm. Jhalil: doing this shit. The shit's so connected, you so connected with it on some bullshit that you just keep it in your life. Like you fighting for some bullshit. Where it's like it's Deion: Good. Jhalil: all this thorough shit, all this real, all this all these good things that we can really be fighting for, bro, and putting our shit together for. But we bypass all that the do what feel comfortable, bro. The do what we used to. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: And it's like, man, until we start like really looking in that mirror, bro, and start doing the research and just understanding like damn, bro, most of the stuff that I've been doing this whole time is what fucked me up. Is what fucked my thinking up. Deion: do. Jhalil: It's what's fucking my community up. All of that, bro. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: So it's like, yeah, man, that's that's that's the goal for the night, man. Like, we all gotta look in that mirror. It shit a little dirty, wipe it off. You feel me? Cause it it's time, Deion: Hmm. Jhalil: bro. It's the only way we gonna get better. It ain't about pointing the fingers all the time. It ain't in every situation, bro, is a situation to look at yourself is an opportunity to look back at yourself and see, damn, how could I handle that better? You feel me? Deion: Hell yeah. And with that, man, y'all throw it in the comments, you know what saying? Let us know what y'all think, you know what saying? Of this episode, everything we were speaking about. Kyle was like a therapy for us. So y'all got to like, y'all got to witness like some therapy, you know what saying? Because we ain't even do our normal one too. But because of Jhalil: Right, bro. Deion: the flow of the conversation and the importance of things. We just like, that's what I'm saying. Like an hour and a half and we like, we still kinda on the check-in. Yeah, I'm Jhalil: Yeah, grew right now. Deion: saying. So, you know, leave your comments, share your stories or whatever. You know what mean? Like let us know what we saying, connect with y'all. got going and see how we can, you know what mean, work together and make it better for each other. Jhalil: Alright, man. So like my bro said, make sure you like, share, subscribe, do whatever you gotta do. Check us out, man. Refer it to a friend who might need this information. Refer it to a parent. Refer to it yourself. Feel me? 'Cause we all going through the same stuff, but the only way we gonna get out is us, bro. So keep that in mind, man. Deion: yeah, and continue to shift the volume, you heard? Jhalil: This is the volume shift.