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Bonus IMPROV - I Shouldn't Have Declared August the Month of Boredom · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to Verifond Friends. We're a little folksy around here.
• 0:15
  Welcome to Verifond Friends.
• 0:20
  Whoa, Francis, you were so folksy just then?
• 0:22
  I wrote that in a Falkland hotel.
• 0:25
  Wow. Should we do some folksy improv?
• 0:30
  Maybe some folksy bonus.
• 0:31
  Oh, if that's what the folks are doing, then we should do it.
• 0:35
  Totally.
• 0:36
  Joe, can we get a suggestion?
• 0:38
  Your suggestion is vampires.
• 0:41
  Yes.
• 0:42
  No.
• 0:43
  Yes.
• 0:44
  I know you like vampires.
• 0:46
  I love the idea of being a vampire.
• 0:50
  I know, because you want to be, because they make you into the hottest version of yourself,
• 0:54
  and then you live like that forever.
• 0:55
  And you can glamour people.
• 0:57
  What do you mean glamour people?
• 0:58
  You get people to do what you want with your mind.
• 1:01
  Oh.
• 1:03
  That's why vampires get everything they want.
• 1:05
  They do?
• 1:06
  They're hot and they have mind control.
• 1:08
  They live forever.
• 1:10
  Wait, but Nosferatu was not good looking.
• 1:14
  Maybe he should have worked out before he got turned.
• 1:19
  Well, I thought your whole premise was that becoming the vampire is...
• 1:25
  But maybe it's different for the first one.
• 1:26
  I feel like he was like Daddy Vamp.
• 1:28
  You know?
• 1:29
  Oh.
• 1:30
  Maybe everyone else gets hot, but not him.
• 1:32
  And maybe you only get hot if you want to.
• 1:34
  So if your heart's pure, then you get hot?
• 1:37
  Yeah.
• 1:38
  Okay.
• 1:41
  I have zero interest.
• 1:42
  I mean, don't get me wrong.
• 1:44
  I have interest in being hot and manipulating people into doing what I want.
• 1:49
  That's basically two-thirds of being a vampire.
• 1:52
  But the whole drinking blood thing.
• 1:55
  It tastes good when you're a vampire.
• 1:56
  I know, but not being able to be in the sun ever.
• 2:04
  That is tough, but also you are more of a night owl.
• 2:07
  I am. That is true.
• 2:09
  But it just makes me appreciate the bits of day that I do get.
• 2:13
  And you come from a family that forsakes sunsets.
• 2:19
  Yeah, that's right.
• 2:20
  apparently
• 2:22
  they're the least
• 2:24
  wonderful thing in nature according to some people I know I say if not you know plus okay i say if i get turned and you don we still gonna hang out at night time okay and you won it i not
• 2:38
  gonna have to be like worried about i won't turn you against your will okay thank you i appreciate
• 2:41
  that and i won't clamor you into asking me to oh yeah yeah but i wonder what you will clamor me into
• 2:48
  Jen is different lately
• 2:50
  well you'll have to wait and see
• 2:54
  she's making out with Francis a lot more
• 2:56
  yeah
• 2:57
  more than usual
• 2:58
  that's okay
• 2:59
  that's what friends do
• 3:02
  and she seems to like it and want to do it for four hours
• 3:05
  and it doesn't make any sense
• 3:07
  why anyone would want to do that
• 3:08
  he's asking her to stop
• 3:09
  this is crazy
• 3:10
  this is crazy
• 3:10
  okay
• 3:14
  I'll still hang out with you
• 3:16
  thank you for saying that
• 3:17
  That means a lot.
• 3:18
  Yeah.
• 3:18
  Yeah.
• 3:20
  And now, improv.
• 3:29
  Hey, Beth.
• 3:30
  Hey.
• 3:32
  This is really hard for me to say because you know I don't really do well with confrontation.
• 3:36
  Oh, well, you're in a safe space.
• 3:39
  Thanks for saying that.
• 3:40
  I just have noticed that since I made that monster,
• 3:46
  that you don't really want to hang out as much anymore.
• 3:49
  Oh, God, that was hard.
• 3:53
  Yeah, well, you know, I've been real busy.
• 3:57
  I had a lot of things on my plate.
• 4:03
  You've been posting all the times you've been home.
• 4:08
  I know I really shouldn't
• 4:10
  I shouldn't have declared
• 4:12
  August the month of boredom
• 4:14
  on Instagram that was stupid of me
• 4:17
  it really makes for a hard lie
• 4:18
  right now
• 4:19
  just tell me the truth I mean we've been friends
• 4:22
  for a long time
• 4:23
  what's changed
• 4:26
  why don't you want to hang out
• 4:28
  is it the monster
• 4:29
  it's the monster
• 4:31
  it is the monster
• 4:32
  I'm sorry
• 4:35
  what about him
• 4:36
  he's just
• 4:37
  bleh
• 4:39
  is it
• 4:39
  why
• 4:40
  because of the extra derp
• 4:42
  yeah I mean
• 4:43
  that doesn't help
• 4:44
  but that's not the
• 4:44
  he
• 4:47
  just spit it out
• 4:49
  his favorite color is brown
• 4:51
  I can't control that
• 4:53
  I know
• 4:54
  I'm not saying you can't
• 4:55
  I'm just saying
• 4:56
  he around all the time it like it like you guys are a package deal I the only person he knows I well I know And he keeps trying to get me to follow him back on Instagram
• 5:09
  I'm not going to do that.
• 5:10
  He likes you.
• 5:11
  And I wasn't even supposed to tell you that.
• 5:13
  Okay, well, yes, of course he likes me.
• 5:16
  I'm interesting.
• 5:18
  He's not.
• 5:19
  Well, Annie thinks you're pretty.
• 5:21
  God, I wasn't supposed to say that either.
• 5:22
  Okay, ew.
• 5:23
  I don't want him interested in me like that.
• 5:24
  No, he wants to go on a double date.
• 5:27
  There.
• 5:27
  There, I said it.
• 5:28
  With him and me and who else?
• 5:33
  Whoever you want to set me up with.
• 5:36
  Oh, wait, you guys are the date?
• 5:38
  Wait, who's dating who in this situation?
• 5:40
  He wants to go on a double date with you as his date,
• 5:43
  and then me with whoever you put me with.
• 5:46
  So he, no, I don't want to date him.
• 5:48
  Well, what about me?
• 5:50
  Do I want to date you?
• 5:51
  No.
• 5:52
  Do you have any hot friends?
• 5:53
  I'm very confused about this double date
• 5:56
  I want to date one of your hot friends
• 5:58
  While you go on a double date with my monster
• 6:00
  So I am dating your monster
• 6:02
  In this situation
• 6:03
  So you're going to do it
• 6:04
  No
• 6:04
  Hold on I got to text him
• 6:06
  She said yes
• 6:08
  She did not say yes
• 6:09
  Oh my god he's so excited
• 6:12
  Oh my god
• 6:13
  You just made a monster's heart fall
• 6:16
  Now who you got for me
• 6:20
  I can't
• 6:21
  I don't want to spend an evening with that monster.
• 6:24
  Oh my God.
• 6:24
  He just sent me a picture of him shopping for clothes.
• 6:27
  He spent all his money on clothes.
• 6:28
  Oh God.
• 6:29
  That's they're all brown.
• 6:30
  He loves brown.
• 6:31
  The socks are brown.
• 6:32
  Yes.
• 6:33
  He matches.
• 6:34
  Don't you like a guy that matches?
• 6:35
  No,
• 6:36
  no.
• 6:37
  I want him to mix prints and patterns.
• 6:39
  Okay.
• 6:40
  Well,
• 6:40
  you guys can talk about that at dinner while me and Cindy.
• 6:46
  God,
• 6:47
  I do hate Cindy.
• 6:48
  I can,
• 6:48
  I can set you up with her.
• 6:50
  Okay.
• 6:51
  Wow, this is great.
• 6:53
  This is great.
• 6:53
  Our friendship's stronger than ever.
• 6:55
  We're both going to get laid.
• 6:57
  I'm not.
• 6:58
  No, I'm not sleeping with the monster.
• 7:00
  He wants to.
• 7:01
  I don't.
• 7:04
  That wasn't the reason why I didn't want to sleep with him.
• 7:08
  It wasn't like I thought, no, no, no.
• 7:10
  I don't want this to be a rape situation.
• 7:13
  I don't want to sleep with him.
• 7:15
  I don't care his interest level.
• 7:18
  You're going to be his first.
• 7:20
  That's not sealing the deal.
• 7:22
  That's not me.
• 7:23
  I don't want a virgin monster.
• 7:26
  You don understand I accidentally made the world horniest monster Yeah I know Yes he really weird and suggestive
• 7:37
  It's another reason I don't want to spend an evening with him.
• 7:39
  And I accidentally was watching Twilight when I made him,
• 7:42
  and you're the person that he imprinted on
• 7:44
  because I accidentally put that in there.
• 7:46
  He wants you so bad.
• 7:48
  This, no, this.
• 7:51
  Please just have sex with my monster.
• 7:52
  I'm not going to have sex with your monster.
• 7:54
  Please.
• 7:54
  No.
• 7:55
  Okay, what about?
• 7:56
  He has sex with you.
• 7:58
  No.
• 8:00
  So you're saying just lie there?
• 8:02
  No.
• 8:03
  Well, I just know you would like it.
• 8:07
  I just, I don't, no.
• 8:09
  Okay.
• 8:10
  It's bad enough that I have to go to this dinner.
• 8:12
  Okay, you know what?
• 8:14
  Baby steps.
• 8:15
  No.
• 8:17
  It's the one step.
• 8:18
  That step is dinner.
• 8:20
  Okay.
• 8:20
  Well, I should tell you that I plan to,
• 8:25
  I plan to have sex.
• 8:27
  I don't
• 8:28
  what you do with Cindy
• 8:29
  is your business.
• 8:30
  I don't care.
• 8:31
  But once we're out of that restaurant,
• 8:33
  I'm not seeing that monster again.
• 8:35
  Okay.
• 8:36
  Hey,
• 8:37
  I respect you.
• 8:39
  Do you?
• 8:40
  Yeah.
• 8:41
  All right.
• 8:43
  Cut to me and Cindy in the hotel room
• 8:45
  and you're with the monster.
• 8:48
  Okay, well, bye.
• 8:50
  Oh,
• 8:51
  no, bye.
• 8:53
  No,
• 8:54
  no, bye.
• 8:55
  I'm sorry.
• 8:55
  Stay high.
• 8:56
  No, monster, monster.
• 8:58
  Look at brown clothes.
• 9:00
  A monster?
• 9:02
  Look, buddy.
• 9:04
  Touch this.
• 9:05
  This was a favor.
• 9:06
  Don't, put that away.
• 9:08
  Put that away.
• 9:10
  No.
• 9:11
  Arm reach.
• 9:13
  No, no, no, no casual putting your arm around my shoulder.
• 9:16
  I said I was annoyed that you ordered dessert.
• 9:20
  I was only going to stick around for an entree,
• 9:23
  but you ordered
• 9:24
  of course you ordered
• 9:27
  the flan
• 9:28
  no thank you
• 9:32
  please stop
• 9:34
  no I don't want you
• 9:36
  please go away
• 9:38
  monster everyone's looking at
• 9:40
  stop it
• 9:41
  I'm not doing anything to this monster
• 9:43
  why are you doing this to me
• 9:45
  I'm a nice boy
• 9:47
  stop it
• 9:48
  you can play this game bitch
• 9:50
  We'll see.