Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #212 Relatable Teacher Jim

Transcript

#212 Relatable Teacher Jim · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Ash. Do you remember a couple of weeks, if not
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: months ago, we put a call out and we said,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: who would you like to have on the podcast for
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: a guest episode?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Ah, where did you put that information?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I put that on the Facebook group.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, definitely, Sorry, Well maybe I put it on Instagram.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: I posted it somewhere the way I did it, and
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: we had a barrage of messages, which were all very lovely.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: By the way, they were very pleasant, but they all
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: were saying the same thing. Get Jim on the podcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Yes, relatable gym I believe that's how we call them,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: or Jim Sutherlan, but relatable teacher gym on Instagram and TikTok. Dude,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: he has like doing two hundred thousand and followers.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: He's really more than us.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I love? I love that. Back
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: in the day, the people who would get a big
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: following would be people in bikinis.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: The fitness guilty, guilty.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: But Jim, Jim's just the teacher he.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Was, honestly, hang, I would say he'd be arguably one
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: of the nicest guys I've ever met.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Vic, take that out right now, that's right.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Tell me.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I would say, he was very humble and very relatable.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: That's that's that's his whole stick.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: And I think being a teacher on top.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: So he's got to teach kids all day and then
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: go home and look after his own kids.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: What an animal hell wouldn't wish them for my worst animalies.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I love the fact that he has been so open
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: about the parts of parenting that he knew nothing about,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: and in now on social media he is spreading that wisdom,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and now that wisdom will be spread like butter on toast.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say, like an STD,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: we should probably get into this right now, da through
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: a population, Let's.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: Get into it.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, Welcome back to Three Doting Dads.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: I am Mattie, j I'm Ash, and I am Jim.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the good, it is the bad, and the relatable. Now, Jim,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: we don't give advice, which you would know because you've
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: just told us before that you've been listening that one episode.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: What did you listen to.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: The last three? Actually and found them all interesting? Last
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: week was emotional, but it was good.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Did you leave a review?
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: I haven't yet. It's coming later.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: He begs.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: He begs the reviews.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: We wouldn't be where we are today without his begging.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I will say, but will you leave a review?
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: We carry on, I will show you.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: We want to see it. So what Matt was trying
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: to say is we don't give advice.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: However, there's a loophole in the system where our guests,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: especially teacher as well. Oh yes, there's going to be advice.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I think people would love when do we have a
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: teacher or something like that, because they get little little
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: bits some information they can take home.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Although he is a rural teacher. Oh god.
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I did drive past a few schools around here and
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: I thought, oh wow, like the nice hats and the
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: things like that, we hate them.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: There's a school around here. We're recording in North Sydney,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: and I think whenever they cross the road they have
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: to tip the hat. Wow have you seen that?
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: No, but I did see some girls with some lovely
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: like is it Matilda the movie? They were those little
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: hats and I was like my partner and I were like,
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: we're in a different place.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: What happens in Ballarati? People like spit the tobacco out
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: or we.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: Have like you know, the old school, classic bucket hat
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: or just the wide brimmer. But like the kids are ripped.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: They got ashally cigarette when you crossed the read stuck
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: into the top of a Sorry, sorry.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: We got.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: The context behind the rural thing is that we sledge
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: rural doctors. I called them vets and they came after us.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: So now anytime we talk about rural it's.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Like, aha, we love rural locations.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Yes, for the record, I think I went back, though,
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: and I was listening once and I did hear Victoria
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: got a bit of a slandering. I feel like I
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: might have been ash So I got Mexico. I felt
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: like once and I was like, okay, Sydney does look
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: quite nice though when you compare it to Melbourne, the buildings,
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: how it looks So, I.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Mean, I love it here. Don't kick me out anyway,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: let's get it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: We start with this with a very simple question. Do
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: you recall the most trouble you got in as a child.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: So, I think I can remember the first time I
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: got in trouble my parents they divorced at an early age,
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: and so I was kind of left to my A
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: few of us. Yeah, I was left to my own device.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: I think I think I was in grade three, and
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: so my dad was a working man and I stayed
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: with my dad.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Can I just ask when that happened? Did you decide?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Do you get a call in grade three of who
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you go with? Or do you know?
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: It's like with a dog, They're like, come in, boy,
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: and whoever you go to.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: I don't know the logistics, and I'm sure my mum
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: is an avid follower of me. She will be on
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: this podcast. I don't know how it worked, but I
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: ended up with dad, which I suppose is a bit
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: different to how it would work for a lot of families. Obviously,
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: still wouldn't spend time with mum, but I was left
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: to my own devices a little bit because my dad
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: was a tradesman. He built fences, and so he would
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: work twelve hour days because we didn't have a lot
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: of money, and so you know, when I got home,
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: it was get on your bike, go for a ride,
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: and basically do whatever you wanted. And so year seven,
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: year eight came around, I think I was about fourteen,
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: started heading to friend's houses to stay the night, and
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: there was nothing much else to do but drink alcohol,
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: and so we would go to the local bottle oo,
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: and we would literally stand out the front and ask people, yes,
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: would you buy some alcohol if you buy a bottle
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: of gym bean, and we would eventually someone who now
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: I think like, I would not do that for a child.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I would. That came out as someone I used to
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: do the same gym I would. You'd try and get
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: someone a bit younger. Yeah, you want to try and
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: get like a nineteen year old, someone who doesn't really
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: think about the consequences of actions. He'd be like, I'll
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: buy a six pack, couple of tallies for these youngsters.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Someone's older brother or older sibling. Case of throwdowns, pack
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: of Winnie Blues, good Night to his throwdowns or VB
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: throwdowns were like grenades, like a smaller yeh, bloody ripper.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: So we ended up very drunk, and I went to
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: the local Hungry Jacks thinking I was all safe. I
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: blacked out there for a little bit. And anyway, I'm
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: on the way back and my phone starts ringing it's
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: my dad, and this is like, you know, you've got
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: one of those old school phones. And I'm thinking, like
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: this isn't good. And anyway, it ended up my sister,
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: who I love dearly, but she went through the drive
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: through of Hungry Jacks very unlucky saw me. I was
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: like a fourteen year old boy should not be drinking,
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: called my dad dubbed me in No, I know like
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: she is though, she is like a very maternal, lovely lady,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: and so she wanted to take care of jesusitch but stitched.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: She stitched on me, and the next day when I
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: got home, it was like, oh, this is the first
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: taste of trouble and yeah, Dad wasn't impressed, and that
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: was kind of the first signaling that I've been a
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: really placid, introverted young kid. And I think that was
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: a bit of a changing of the guard and led
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: to many other stories that Dad probably wasn't overly impressed
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: with you. You broke bad, as they say, I really did.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you remember the punishment or was it just I.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: Think that one was like the walk in the house
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: and he gave me the look and was kind of
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: like dickhead basically. But I was so scared internally. But
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: obviously it wasn't enough because then I would have been
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: doing it next weekend that I would have been back
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: out there or something.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Not going to hungry jacks just keeping it to the park.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: The trick used to go somewhere they won't see you.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Well, that was the thing when we were kids. I
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: don't know what it was like where you guys were,
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: but we would truly like we're going to meet at
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: a park at seven o'clock. Oh, you go to a
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: park and you would just start drinking on a playground.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: And it was like very different to what it would
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: be like now, Like my child is not going to.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Just before I had kids, we backed onto a park
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: that would turn into that park where the.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Kids as soon as the nightfall.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: It hit the chinking of the bottles.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that would rowdy as man, they'd be fights,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: some sort of thing. But we used to get out
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: on the balcony that backed onto it and throw all
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: the old fruit at them.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: What I was trying to sleep.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: We're talking about earlier people who were helping youngsters get alcohol,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: and then on the other end of the spectrum we
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: have people who are.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Throwing this is a rogue episode.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: But I think if my child, I don't know, the
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: time will come that if they were to drink in.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: A park, do you want to come?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I would feel kind of like, ah right.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, me too a little bit.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as they were being responsible, but you
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: never were like.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like you're the part of that? And
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: your partner would be the opposite side.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Well, she's from Woollongong, so she'd be like, here's a mess.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. H.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I think April will be the enabler because her mum
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: was the enighblorer. Like you know how you always got
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: a friend at that age that their parents are like,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I'd much rather you drink here.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I can see.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Of course we have one of them.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: That'll be April. Yeah, you'd be like, come on in
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: and drink here.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah. We had one friend's house that you could go
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: to and it was like, if you want to drink,
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: you can drink here, and it's all cool. I won't
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: tell anyone, but at least you're safe here. And that
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: was like that, let's go to that house every weekend. Yeah,
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: And so I think a lot of people have that.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Or the park.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: The park was really good too.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And so if there's any fear from your dad of
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: you going down the wrong path, you proved him wrong
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: because you became a teacher, which is very respectable.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well you guys probably don't know this, but my
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: dad passed away when I was twenty five, and so
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: that's okay. He missed like all my kids and becoming
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: a teacher and that sort of stuff. So that is
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: something that I do think about sometimes because he got
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: me at a time in my life where I went
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: through a lot of ups and downs, and I put
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: myself through those ups and downs, but it jeopardized our
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: relationship a little bit. And so when I was on
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: the back end of that happening, he passed away suddenly,
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: like without warning. And so that is like the one
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: thing that I do go back to off and I'm like, shit,
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: like I wish I had to figured it out a
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: little bit earlier to kind of showed him like, hey,
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: I wasn't a bit of a deadbeat, Like I was
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: always a good kid, but I was a kid and
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: I was just doing whatever I thought was right at
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: the time. And yeah, I go back to that sometimes
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: and be like, man, he just missed it. But yeah,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: you know, some great things have come from you know,
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: not from Dad passing away, but like the mindset and
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: the attitude I have now for life are because of
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: that moment. And I'm grateful to have that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: What was it then? What happened that put you on
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: a course to become a teacher?
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: This is so random. I had a girlfriend when I
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: was like twenty and I have a nisan and few
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: my sister's kids, and she was like, you're really good
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: with kids. And at this time, like I'm working in
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: pubs and bars, I'm partying a lot, not doing a lot.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: And I thought, oh, that sounds like a job that's respectable.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: And I was like, well, I'll go to university. And
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: that was literally all it took. I didn't finish high school,
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: so like I got to year twelve and I didn't
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: do my exams. I was like, I don't feel like
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: I'm smart enough, so I just didn't show up. I
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: had to go to university. I had to do like
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: it was called like the fast pass. You had to
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: do like high school in six months to get into university.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: I failed that. I failed that. Yeah, and I had
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: to go and do a Bachelor of Arts. And I'm
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: so shocked when I think about this that I kept
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: at it. Yeah, I had to do a Bachelor of
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: Arts past those subjects that got me into my teaching degree.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: And then was that hard. No, but it was like
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: about Roman history and like arts one.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was just random subjects, so like Bachelor of
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Arts covers, like a lot of different things. And they said,
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: if you go and do this and you pass these subjects,
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: you basically prove like, hey, you can go to university.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: And so I did that, took the very long road,
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: and now I think I've been a teacher for I
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: think this is my tenth year.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: And those are the sorts of things that I try
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: and share online to inspire other people to be like, hey,
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: you know, you don't have to be a cookie cutter.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: I'm so smart. I'm going to be a teacher. There
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: are different ways to go about it.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I remember I spoke about that if this ever didn't
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: work out for me, that I wanted to be a teacher.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: You have, But I always think about things like that
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: and they never come true.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: This keeps on, we keep doing more episodes. Once these
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: episodes dry up, that's the driving force with ashow Will.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Now, honest, the thing might not.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I'm raising awareness. Shan't got a wool and going.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: When you did the express initially the six months for
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: high school? Was it just fail or was it a
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: miserable fail.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: Now, I think I had to do six, like six subjects,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: you know, English, Math, and I think I ended up
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: failing two, so four of six, so not terrible. I think,
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: I like I put in a good effort to it all.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: But then on like the final papers, like for English,
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: I had to write a big essay and I didn't
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: really know how to do that, Like I'd been working
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: at nightclubs till five am in the morning. I wasn't
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: exactly ready to write essays. I went to Shakespeare no,
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: and so you know, but you learn on the journey,
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: and I got there in the end, and it's the
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: best thing that's happened to me. Like, honestly, I love
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: being a teacher. I think it's so good to work
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: with kids, and yeah, I love it.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about the easiest first day of a
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: new job that you've ever had, which is teaching.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: And I believe that you had your first child on
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: that day.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that is correct. So I was. I was about
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: to become a teacher. The day before, we were in
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: like work meetings and my partner was heavily pregnant, and
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden, I got a text message I'm
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: not looking under the table. You know, you're in a
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: meeting with like new people, pretending to be like, oh,
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: ye know what I'm doing.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: And then she's like being pretty close.
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah within a couple of weeks. Yeah, but you know,
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: first time, I don't really know what's happening. She messaged
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: me and says, I think my water's broke. And then
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: I said, are you sure you haven't weed yourself? Like
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: I don't know any.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Better, that's the sad question, a good question, and she's
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: like no, She's like, actually I just did. Yeah, never mind.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: She was like, you need to come home. And so
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: we went home, went to the hospital. Ended up having
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: an emergency season that time because the baby my daughter
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: said he she wouldn't turn and so went through that,
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: and I was telling you guys, I'm on paternity leave
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: at the moment. I took two days I think paternity leave,
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: and I went back to work, and like, I think
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: about that now and I'd regret that, but I knew
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: no better.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised no one said, hey, Jim, what are you
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: doing it?
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Man?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Take like the people have had the fluid miss more
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: days of work than this. You just had your first
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: kid like go home.
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: I don't know if it's teaching, but I've built in
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: a thought process of where you don't take days off,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: and so I think I was probably thinking that work
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: somehow was more important. One hundred percent of it is not,
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: but I think I thought that and I was like,
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: oh my god, I have to get back to this
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: job that I've just secured because my family needs me
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: to be at that job. Where in hindsight, when I
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: look back now like my partner needs me more than anything,
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: and like I was lucky that we had our baby, Lola,
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: who's seven weeks old. We had her in the school
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: holidays right at the start, so I got six weeks
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: at home, which was awesome, and then I still have
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: a month of paternity leave. So this time, I'm doing
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: it right. And I went straight to the principal. I'm like,
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: I am taking every single day.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Are you still at the same school?
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, okay, cool, it's changed a lot, different principles,
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: all that sort of stuff. But yeah, first time, I
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: think I took two days. I think I only took.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: How old were you when Sadie was born?
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: I would have been twenty eight.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And so how is Amy your wife when you were saying,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go back to work, babe.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: I think that she didn't know any better either. She
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: was kind of like, oh, yeah, this is what he has, Yeah,
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: this is what he had to do. And now as
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: I've gone on and I've learned about the pressures that
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: women face having a baby and postpartum and all that stuff,
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: I think, man, like, we were lucky to get through
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: that time. I think because like she was learning for
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: the first time too, and then all of a sudden,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: I was gone for most of the days. And I
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: think back about that, I'm like, man, I did that wrong,
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: But you don't know any better.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, how do you think you adapted to having your
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: first kid? You come home from obviously you didn't have
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: any time at home really, and you come home, how
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: do you think you adapted poorly?
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: Okay, So I don't think I was a great dad.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: I wasn't a bad dad, but I don't think I
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: was great the first time around. I wasn't very hands on.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: I had no experience with babies, didn't know how they worked,
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: you know, like all of that sort of stuff. And
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: I remember it might have been a month or so
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: in and I remember just sitting on a couch one
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: day and my partner said to me, is there any
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: chance that you could bath the baby? And it kind
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: of put a jolt to me and I was like,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: oh my god, there are things that I can do,
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: like I can be helpful. And I remember that being
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: like the turning point of me being like, I need
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: to be more involved. And it wasn't because I didn't
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: want to be or I was being a lazy dad.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: It's because I just don't think I knew any better.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: And so I still remember that moment and me kind
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: of going, right, I need to do more things, and
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: you know now third time around, like my motto is
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: like try to change every nappy, fill the water bottle,
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: basically be the slave essentially to make sure that she
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: has everything she needs because it is hard. And I
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: think it's important that more dads understand that. And I
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: don't think a lot of dads do.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: I look back, and I think a lot of dads
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: of our generation can put the hand up and say,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: for my first child, I was making all the mistakes
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: and then learning from them afterwards, because I was similar
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: to yourself, Jim, where I was like, oh, my wife
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: will do this like she's you know, the baby is
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: attached to her twenty four to seven almost, and I'll
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: let her do a thing. But then also, I think
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I look back now and the disparity becomes so much greater.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: That the more time you spend away from the bub
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: and more time mom does, she obviously becomes a lot
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: more experienced, knows the cues a bit better, and so
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, Mum becomes so much more experience,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: where as a dad you're like, oh, you know, it's
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: like you know what you're doing, so you continue on.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I also felt like when you become a first dad,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: the best way to learn is the experience. Like I
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: did the classes, I did all this stuff. I put
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: so much pressure on myself. But I look back now
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: and I think it's like starting a new job. You're
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: not meant to know exactly.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: You got an.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Idea of what I need to do, but actually doing
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: it is completely different. So new dad's like, I think,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: if any coming up to being a new dad, it's like,
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: just get hands on and do it, because you're right.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: You start picking up on the cues and stuff like that,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you find that maternal part
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: of your brain somewhere along the line there.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: I think what you said is the perfect advice for
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: any new dad or as soon to be dad is
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: that just get in there and give it a crack.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: You might do it wrong, you might stuff it up,
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: but being there and having a go is far better
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: than kind of sitting back and going, mum can do
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: all abase and that's amazing. I think that's probably the
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: mistake that maybe I made, and just getting in there
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: and learning on the go that is one hundred percent okay,
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: But just make sure that you're doing that and getting
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: in there, Yeah, that's really important.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: And I think like not to like I put I
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: put so much pressure on myself then because I wanted
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: to do as much as able could do other than
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: breastfeed obviously, but it was like I put so much
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: pressure on it that when I didn't get it right,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I was like so upset with myself. So I like, whenever, yeah,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: a your dad asked me or soon to be, I'm like, look,
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: just give yourself a break. Like you're not going to
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: be able to do it perfectly first time. And like
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: you were saying, you learned from that first one, right.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Well, it was. Laura ended up tapping me on the
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: shoulder and saying, you need to pull your weight here,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: and I was like, holy shit, it was so hard
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: for her to tell me that you're not at that
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: time being a great father. Was it yourself having that
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: reflection going I need to pull my weight more or
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: did your wife Amy say hey, Jim, this isn't working.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: No, it was just that moment where she said and
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: it was like, you know, I feel like at the
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: time it was probably a little bit of fre stration,
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: like can you bath have like can you do something?
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: And it wasn't her. It wasn't her having a go
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: at me or anything. But I look back now and
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: I'm like, hmm, I probably wasn't doing anything. I would
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: take the baby for a morning walk and then it
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: was like, all right, off to work. I go get home.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: I've started a new job. I'm a bit tired, not thinking,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: not understanding that staying at home with a baby isn't
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: something that's.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Just it's not leisure.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: You've technically you had two jobs. When you come home,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: that's just your clocking in va next shift.
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think, you know, her giving me the
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: tap on the shoulder, but it was my own realization
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: of I'm actually not doing enough here and I feel
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: like I could be doing more. But I think what
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: you said is important too, that you can put a
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: lot of pressure on yourself as a dad, and postpartum
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: does affect fathers as well, which is something that a
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: lot of people it isn't discussed, and so that's important
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: as well to know that dads can struggle. And I
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: think sometimes for mums to let dad struggle a little bit,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: as in, you know, when they're getting in there and
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: they's staffing things up. It's easy to get corrected, but
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: you've got to learn and have a go.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to put my wife on the spot here.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah go am I Yes, But when we're trying to
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: settle Poppy and it's a little bit tricky after a
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: feed to try and burpens a position that she likes
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: to be in full asleep, and Laura could hear me
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: struggling upstairs, so she would come up and say I'd
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: take it. I can do it. And it was so
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: tempting to give her the baby and be like all right, cool,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: like I've given it ten minutes, you now finish it off.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: But I had to be like no, no, yeah, let
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: me figure this out. And then finally I found a
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: position where I could hold her arms, and I was
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: like like I found the magic spot and that's it.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I've done it.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Like that's what you said, is like often the baby
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: will cry and you're like, oh, I just hand the
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: baby over. But if you take the time to let
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: the baby cry and figure it out, you will find
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: your dad persona your dad position, and it will start
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: to work for you and that will set you and
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: your baby up for the future and you will build
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: that bond and it will get much easier. So that's
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: really important.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So if you were if you're going to grade yourself,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: maybe you're getting like an initially like a C on
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: your parenting.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, easily, maybe worse.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: How is your teaching going? What would you give yourself
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: for teaching?
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: So I look at teachers who are coming into the
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: profession now and I look at myself and I'm like, oh,
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: my goodness, these people are miles ahead of where I
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: really really yeah, So I pride myself as a teacher
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: on building strong relationships with kids and that got me
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: a long way. But the content, you know, like the
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: curriculum side of things that isn't necessarily like or it
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: wasn't my strength, and so it has taken me a
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: long time to build into that and feel like I'm
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: at a place where I feel like I'm smart enough
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: to teach twelve year olds.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: But if you are asking you being too hard on yourself,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: you're talking to your back.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: I couldn't teach a twelve year old years ago though,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: Like you know, obviously I knew what to do, but
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: like as you go along, you evolved so much as
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: an educator. But the one thing that I've always hung
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: my hat on is that if you can build a
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: strong relationship with a child and you can make them
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: feel safe, they want to learn from you. And so
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: that got me a long way, and that's important.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: How do you do that? Like I'd want to be like, hey, kids,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: don't fucking worry.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: It's so true.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: When I grew up, I was not very good at school,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Like straight up hated school.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: School hated me. That's just the way it was.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: But I recall there was the teachers you'd latch onto
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: that you would build a relationship. We just have extreme
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Deally and he was a professional body boarder as well
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: as a teacher Extreme Deally. He once jumped off a
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: two story building to stop a fight, and he was
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: a king. I would learn anything from that guy because
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: he would build the relationship.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: That is impressive.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: Sorry I did leave a pause there.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Did you ever jump off a two story building?
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: I haven't yet. If I'm having a class that I'm
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: struggling with, I might get up on the.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: What's like, what's you go through? Had a tough student
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: or a class? How do you crack in there?
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: Just finding something that you know they enjoy in their life.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: I've come across many tough kids across the journey, and
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: you need to dig sometimes a little deeper to find
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: the gold. But if you find something that they enjoy,
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: you can crack through. So maybe they're a terror in
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: the classroom, but they go outside and they love soccer. Well,
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: I'm going to go outside of break time and I'm
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: playing soccer. Or I'm going to go outside and shoot hoops.
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: How you think you're the fastest kid in the school.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: Let's go outside. We're racing, you know, Like you know.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: I had a girl a couple of years ago. She
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: was very passive and would literally latch onto her mum
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: before we left and I had to like peel her off,
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: And at the end of that year, her mum said,
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: You've made the biggest impact in who she is as
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: a person and how confident she is in herself. And
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: it was simple things like, Hey, you like drawing ponies,
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Let's draw a pony. Let's find some time. You know,
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: like you just need to find little things about them
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: and show them that you care. On a Monday, hey,
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: how'd your dog going on the weekend? It only takes
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: the smaller things for a kid to go, oh my god,
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: he actually cares about something in my life. And it's
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: the same with our own kids. You know, if you
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: can just build that really good relationship, I believe that
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: you can find a way to work with any child
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: and have a breakthrough.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: What's it like to receive feedback like that from a parent,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I can imagine it'd be amazing.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: It's the greatest thing that you can get in teaching.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: So sometimes people online are like, oh, you know, you
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: get your teacher gifts at the end of the year,
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: and like if you post a picture of it, it's like, ah,
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: your gifts. And I always talk about the best gift
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: you can get as a handwritten note from a parent
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: and it says something like last year I got one
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: and it was like it was very detailed, and it
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: was just like the impact you've made on my child
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: is so immeasurable that we can't thank you enough. And
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: never has it been about cash and I'll take the
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: gift out. Never has it been about you made my
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: son awesome at mathematics or something. It's that you know,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: you made my child have a growth mindset, or you
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: made them feel more positive about themselves, or you know,
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: they were more confident and they loved coming to school.
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: And those are the things that when I hear them,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I am doing a good job.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: Ah fuck yeah, I want to feel like that.
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: And those cards, like you keep stag those cards up
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: and you put them away, and teaching can drain you
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: some days, and you pull a card out and you're like.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Damn, this is good. I also think as well, I
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: think back to your dad. I'm like, oh, he must
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: have been so proud to know where you are now,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: the impact that you're making on the lives of kids
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: in this country.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And like it was just eleven years this month
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: since he's passed away, and I posted about that. I
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: had so many people in box me who don't know
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: me from online and say, you know, from the person
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: I see online, your dad would be so proud of you.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: And that means something too, like because there are times
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: where I'm I was so certain that he wouldn't have been,
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: and so it was a bit of a mission to
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: be like, I need to change that narrative. And you know,
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: my sister has gotten to see that and my mum,
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: which is lovely, but you know, if I asked my sister,
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: she'd be like, I didn't know if you were going
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: to make it through that period. And so it's nice
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: now to be on the other side where it's like
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: you feel like you've done a good.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Job, yeah, off the back of your dad and you
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: know how proud he would be and just off like
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: I was going through some of your videos and I
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: found one there where it was about a kid coming
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: to you with a problem, Like does it fill your
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: bucket When a kid comes to you and trusts you
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: with coming in and saying, hey, I'm not feeling okay.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: I think again, that's like one of the ultimate cues
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: of you're doing a good job as a teacher. You
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: know last year I would have so many kids. Can
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: we just stay inside with you, miss ress, We just
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: want to hang out with you, or you give me
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: a break. Don't get me wrong. Over stimulated, But it's
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: again one of those signs. That's why it's a great job.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: You know. People will talk about how hard teaching is,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: and you know it is some days. But when you
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: get to connect with a kid and you get to
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: feel like you're a safe person for them and they're
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: not your child, that's a special thing to be able
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: to do. And it feels all it's good.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when a friend's kid high fires me, I'm like, yeah,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: my kid high fives them.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I know the feeling.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: And I've got a bit of a persona like. And
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: I don't mean this in like a oh yeah, I'm great,
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: but walk through the halls and it's like mister s
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: and it's the high fives and that I love that like,
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: and I you know, and I think another thing is
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: I don't put myself up and I'm like, I'm a teacher.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: I'm better than all of you, you know. I make
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: myself super approachable. There's fist bumps, there's high fives. We're
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: running around we're having a joke, and I think making
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: yourself relatable to children, It's like, oh, like he kind
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: of gets it, and that again builds that Oh I
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: can have a chat to him, like he's not some
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: scary older guy. It's like, you know, I'm a kid too.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: I'm still stuffing around and that's really important.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: So what's it like saying goodbye to those kids that
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: you've built a really strong bond with at the end
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: of each year.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: So last year, I had taught some of the students
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: that I had in my class for three years, so
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, three years is a long time to
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: spend with other people's kids. And there were tears. There
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: were you know, at the start of the school year,
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: we give out our lists of who your teacher is
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: going to be. And I can remember some of the
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: kids who didn't get in my class cried on that day.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: They were bawling their eyes out, and they went home
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: and told their parents They're like, we wanted mister rest.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: This is the worst day ever. And to me, again,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: it was sad for them, but for me, I was like,
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: oh my god, like that is so beautiful and awkward.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: For the other teachers, she was a.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: New teacher, so she was awesome, but the kids didn't
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: know her and sorry about that. But one of those
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: students came back this year because her brothers they go
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: to our school, and she was like one hundred meters
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: away and mister ash she comes running over, gives me
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: a hug, and in that moment, I was like, man,
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: this is awesome, like kids coming back to school. I'm
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: sure that's not the cool thing to do is come
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: back and give you teach your old teacher a bit hug,
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: But it was like, this is really cool. And again
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: it just makes me think that, yeah, we're doing a
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: good job. If you can build those relationships with kids,
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: it's really special.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I thought there's always this disparity between the generations where
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: the older generation looks at the younger generation and goes like, ah,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know how good they've gone it. That don't
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: work hard enough. What's it like with yourself when you
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: look at the young kids coming through? Are they good
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: kids as a whole? What's the issues that they're trying
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: to face? Are we screwed for the next generation?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: What should we look out for?
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: I think they're good kids, but something that I've definitely
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: noticed about kids more recently, is it? And I noticed
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: this in my own kids, that they're lacking resilience, so
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: they're not willing to get in there and try and
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: try and try and fail because it's scary. And I
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: don't know where that's coming from. I don't know if
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: it's us as parents that we're constantly coddling them and
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: giving them stuff. And I know that. And I heard
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: you say the other week that we spoil our children.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: And sometimes I think that I've given my own children
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: too much because then it's like, oh, this is easy.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: You know, I'll leave my plate to my bedroom, dad
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: or pick it up for me, And most of the
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: time I probably would have. And I see that in
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: kids now, you know? Was it COVID? People talk about
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: that a lot. I'm not sure. I think that us
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: as parents, we're like, oh, we want to do better,
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: but the way that we're doing better is making it
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: so easy for our children that when they come to school,
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: it's like, oh, I shouldn't have to try this hard.
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: And that seems to be a big shift that we're
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: having in education, is that a lot of kids aren't
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: willing to try as hard because they're afraid to fail.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: They don't want to feel what it's like to go
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: through failure. And so I think that that is a
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: big problem that we're facing. How do we combat it?
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure, but yeah, it's something that I look
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: at and I'm like, man, even to put your hand
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: up and get a question wrong in class, that's really
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: scary for kids. And I get that, but that then
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: goes into other areas of their life. And I really
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: see that with my daughter, and it concerns me as
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: a parent and as a teacher.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have that sort of have that conversation with
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: myself all the time.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: We do as well about you want to give your kids.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Everything that you didn't have, but also as well you
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: want to try and build resilience. You can't really have
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: both all that you know you can provide. I had
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: a better life than you had, absolutely, But like I'm
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: struggling at the moment with my yea with my son
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: where I feel like, am I giving him too much?
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: I want him to, yeah, try try because you know
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: practice is going to be progressed for him. And if
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: you fail, you fail, it's fine. But I can totally
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: see where you're coming from. Where it's like I know
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of parents that won't even let their kids
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: fall over, and I was like, ah, the kid could
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: fall over at some point, right.
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: And I heard Gary ve a while back. He was
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: talking about like participation awards in the world. You know,
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: kids are finishing seventh and eighth now and we're like,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: I have a trophy. And while I get that, is
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: that building resiliency in kids or is it saying that
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: no matter what you do, you get a trophy and
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: you've done a great job. I don't know. I think
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: that there's some good in losing, you know, to come
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: forth and go oh that hurt, and then it pushes
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: you to go, well, you know what, I'm going to
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: try really hard now and I want to work harder.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: I think that that's important.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I think my school my final year, they removed us
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: sports Day became like a fun sports day, and then
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: they removed all that first, second, and third words, and
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, what's the fucking point.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, facts, well, you're not going to do that.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: At the Olympics.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: They're like, oh, you know what, this year, participation everybody.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: And that's the thing. You go to the top level,
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: you know, you don't finish fifth in a basketball tournament
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: and it's like, oh, you know, he's a fifth place banner.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: Like that's not how the world works. And so I
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: understand why we're trying to do that for children because
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: it's lovely and it makes them feel good. But does
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: it necessarily set them up for success later in life?
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: I don't think so.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming that, like it's probably going to impact the workforce.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: I know with my kids, I always try to say, hey,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: you're not always going to win all the time.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: You're all it's going to be hard. Sometimes it's not
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: always going to be easy.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: But I know there's you know, there's parents out there
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: that will just preach the narrative of you know, he
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: go have this, if you're upset, have that, try and
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: fix it with all that without them having to go
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: through it, and then they get it. They're going to
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: get a job. And your boss isn't going to do
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: that to you. Your boss is paid to do the
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: opposite of that.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: They want to get the best out of you. Like
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: what's that going to do for the work?
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Like, tell you what not going to happen? Kids next
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: generation taken two days off work and then going back
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: to work after having a kid.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: No, it's never going to happen. You can pull the back.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: In my day, we only had two days off.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: And I think, like my paternity leave, I've taken four
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: weeks this time. I don't think I wouldn't have had
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: four weeks off In ten years of teaching. I probably
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: you know, under three weeks. And that's because you know, again,
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: there's this thing in teaching where it's like, if you
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: miss a day off it's harder than going to work
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: sick because you've got to make like sub plans and things,
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: and if you don't, the kids don't have a proper
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: setup on the day, and so it's harder to miss
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: a day. Yeah, it makes it. It makes it challenging.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: You talked about Lola seven weeks old. Yes, she was
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: a welcome surprise. You have told us that before the record,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: that is correct, before she came along. Did you and
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: Amy talk about the fact that we are done? This
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: is it. We have two beautiful kids. We're going to
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: just like pack up that part of our life and
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: move on.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: So I think I was definitely done. I was like, two,
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: this is beautiful. Let's leave it at that. I think
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: Amy always was kind of like, you know, when I'd
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: be like, oh, should I get the snips? You know,
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: hold on a little bit. And I think Amy has
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: been amazing for me in my journey and teaching me
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: how to just be a better human. And when we
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: got to the point of, you know, should we have
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: another kid or not? I think also she had just
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: started to go back to work and she had a
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: social life again and she could go and do things,
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: and so that for her was really important. And then
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it was just
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: like bang, that's gone, and you're having a baby. And
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: I think the first day when we found out, it
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: was like, oh my god. We kind of went into
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: this bubble and we're like it's exciting, and then we
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: crashed out. And the honesty of it is that we
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: had some really tough days. It wasn't what we had expected.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: And you can't tell anybody because the whole twelve week thing,
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: you don't want to tell people. And so it's her
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: and I fighting these battles. Was daily of like this
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: is a great thing.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: We've destroyed our lives.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: We've destroyed our lives, and we've made a really big mistake.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: And it felt bad thinking that because I know there's
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: people around the world who die to have a baby.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: And then so then all of a sudden, you're in
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: this spot of beating up on yourself, thinking, well, I
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: shouldn't feel bad for this, but yet I'm in a
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: bit of a bad place. And I think we both
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: went through those spots together. And even telling my daughter,
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: We're like, we're having a baby, her face she went sour, angry, unhappy,
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: and even in that moment, it's like we made a mistake,
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: like we shouldn't be doing this.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: What was the age difference at that time?
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: Sadie is eight, yeah, Olor is fresh?
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, wow, okay, yeah, I don't want to put
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: on the spot here, but what was your game plan
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: when you guys were having those special moments and you
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: and your wife, you know, were you just throwing cause
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: into the wind?
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: What are you staring at me for?
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: You know, what were you doing, Jim? What was you've
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: done this to yourself? You're not wearing condoms?
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: What position was a Jim?
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: We were we were running the risk? Well there you
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: go out, you know, and it was always like ah,
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: but once you start to learn about pregnancy, like it's
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: actually quite hard to get somebody pregnant. And then yeah,
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: we were like, this is never going to have a.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Horrible joke, but I won't say it, and I can't
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: Cover your ears.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: I'll let it out.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, they do say things feel
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: better when you leave it in.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: It's not your worst.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: I would have delivered it with much more bizarz than that.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: We took it away from you. You took it away from me.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: Now we can cut it out. No, let's cut that out.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: But I think it's hard to have a child when
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: you're not expecting one, especially when you get to a
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: phase of life. And I'm grateful that Amy and I
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: were a strong couple and worked on it together. I'm
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: super grateful for that because I think that in the
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: days where she was having a tough time, if I
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: couldn't lift her up and vice versa, you know, there
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: could have been some really, really tough days. But the
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: moment where they passed baby Lola over to us and
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: one my daughter was desperate for a girl, and when
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: we saw it was a girl, and just that moment
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: when you catch your baby's eye for the first time.
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: Because we didn't find out the gender. This time, it
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: was just like a wave hit us and we were
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: sitting there thinking, how could we have ever not wanted
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: to have you? Like you are perfect, you are our baby,
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: and we should have never had a single worry in
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: the world, And of course that isn't the case, but
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: we kind of just looked each other in that room
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: and it was like, this is what was meant to happen.
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: And she has been the best baby, Amy's been the
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: best mum to three so far. And I learned about
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: something called the law of Lisa regret. And when I
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: go back to that moment and I think about, you know,
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: if I had to said that to myself, would I
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: rather be going on that journey or would I rather
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: say no baby? Like bad? Like I would have chose
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: having the baby. And if I had had that mindset,
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: you know, it might have helped me a little bit,
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: and maybe it'll help some other people, because it's honestly
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: been the best. The kids have been amazing, and you know,
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: maybe that'll change in the future, but it has been
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: awesome and as a family of five, we have just
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: been so whole and together. It's like, this is what
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: was meant to happen, honey, like it was meant to
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: be this way.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then all of a sudden, it's impossible to
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: imagine what life would be like without them in the picture.
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: So true.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I had a baby once between the two of you.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting over here, I'm moving on.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: And I thought I was there. I thought I've.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: Had the snips, so you're not tricking me.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's that's now, that's the next step. Like
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: four can't happen, especially financially.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: It's like looking in the mirror, right, Why don't you guys.
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: Start a podcast. I've listened to a lot of what
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: you've spoken about before, and I thought, like, wow, we
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: have some similarities. Amy even told me the story because
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: she listened to Laura and she told me the snip
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: story about and you were like, what do you mean
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: like going to get the snip straight away? And so
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: some of that stuff. I've been like, oh, these are
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: interesting relations, but we'll be with you soon.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: I've got a guy, I've got it's great.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: How do you find it? Like I always think you've
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: got to have so much patience with your kids, and
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: it's like a jar and as the day progresses, your
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: patience runs out. But when you're teaching, that patience is
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: being funneled out of the jar. And then you come
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: home and all of a sudden you've got to try
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: and have that patience all over again with your own kids.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: How do you juggle that?
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: It's hard? You know, you get home, you're already depleted.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: You've been asked thousands of questions in the day, and
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: then your kids are like, dad, play with me, and
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: you're like, I don't have anything left, and you know,
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: the easy thing to do, it's like, chuck them on
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: the iPad. Let's go do the iPads. But now I'm
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: you know, we've just set up in our house. It's like,
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: you come home, do ten minutes of like homework, like
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: some spelling words. You get half an hour and that's it.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: Now because I've started to notice what I think of
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: some of those effects on my daughter, but because I
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: was coming home so tired, it's like, I want to
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: talk to Amy, how was your day? You know? And
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: that classic when you get home and you're trying to
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: talk to your partner, your kids are barking at you,
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: your partner gets frustrated, You get frustrated and just implodes
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: like that that moment is so brutal some days, so
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: trying to find ways to work around it. But my
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: biggest parenting hack actually came from my dad. Whenever he
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: came home, he would always make five or ten minutes
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: to play. And I've tried to burn that into my
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: brain and remember, like I have the capacity to get
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: up for ten minutes. I just need to go and
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: do it, even you know, ten minutes on the trampoline,
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: whatever it is. You just have to find the guts
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: to go and do it. And I signed up to
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: have these children, even though some days that's hard to remember.
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: So I need to get out there and give them
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: that ten minutes because it was my choice to bring
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: them into this world and I need to do that.
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: And some days that is way harder than it sounds.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: So fucking hard. In the mornings, Lola is always up
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: at six am, Yeah, and she's like, let's play a game.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And it's so easy, just like give her the game
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: that I'm on my phone, and I'm like, gotta keep
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: giving her attention.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I know the connection, like it might be five minutes
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: for us, but the connection for them is everything.
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I've definitely picked up on that a lot,
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: especially with my son. He is very much a dad
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: watch me, Dad, watch me, Dad watch me? Yeah, mate,
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: I'm watching you. I'm watching you. And I've started to
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: feel great guilt around that, especially when you're making social
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: media and so your phone's constantly pinging. It's so easy
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: to just go oh. And so I'm starting to do
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: things like put my phone in the kitchen when I'm
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: in the lounde room and doing things like that because
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: I don't want him to grow up and be like
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: man Dad checked his phone a lot. Yeah, that was
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: no good. I want him to be like Dad always
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: played with me. If my kids say one thing when
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: they get older, that's what I wanted to be.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: Dad always came and played with us. Hew good was that?
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: Because that's what I remember about my dad, And so
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: I want the same thing.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Well, when your kids are all grown up, and maybe
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: it is the answer you just gave, what would be
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: the one thing you want me to remember about the
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: house they grew up in.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: I just want them to remember that it was a
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: house of love. So Dad loved mum so much. They
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: were always you know, he was giving her a kiss,
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: or he was cuddling her, or they call it from
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: Blue Her. You know romance. Oh, Dad was doing romance
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: with Mum. I want them to remember that, not too
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: much romance.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: Not yeah, put this pigeonhole.
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: This man Ash was winking at me. I know what
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: you're talking about. I want them to just know that
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: they grew up in a house of love, and especially
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: when I can remember at times my parents fighting and
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: when the breakup was kind of coming. I don't know,
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: you know, the ins and outs, but I can still
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: remember some of that, and I don't want my kids
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: to ever have to go through that. I just want
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: them when they're older, like man, Mum and Dad like
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: they really loved each other and they were always saying
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: I love you. And I think Amy and I do
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: a really good job of that. And I think that's
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: super important for a household and for kids to grow
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: up again feeling safe and nurtured. Is to see their
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: parents and that they love each other. And you know,
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: some days we fight in that, but we try and
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: keep that from the kids. You're always going to have
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: an argument here and there, you know, I think keeping
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: that away from the kids and letting them just see
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: this magical love bubble that never ends is important.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: It's hard to imagine Jim not being an outstanding individual.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: It's definitely a teacher. I feel like I've liked me.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: It's been amazing. It's talking to you, Jim, and I
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: honestly can't imagine you being anything else and being what
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: you are now, being someone who was having a tough
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: time in life, because you just fucking safe. Your sound,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: you're intelligent.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: You seem very put together as well. I'm trying to
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: say and thank you so much for coming and spend
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: some time with us.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: And I mean, we don't get a lot of parents
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: in that have a fresh, fresh newborn, especially after having
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: such a break and then also working with kids and
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: going home and that dynamic and what that's like.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: So we appreciate you coming in and spend some time
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: with us.
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: No, thank you so much for having me. I think
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: you know, like you talked about being a good person.
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: The things that you go through in life shape you.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: My dad passing away, meeting Amy and being with her
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: and then having our first child or the three things
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: that have helped me to try to be the person
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: that you're talking about. And so it's an important message
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: you can go through tough times in your life, and
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: you can have really shitty days and be at rock bottom,
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: which I have one hundred percent visited. But there are
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: good times coming and there are good people coming into
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: your life. You just got to wait it out sometimes
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: a little bit.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: Well, you've had some great success and I'm sure it's
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: going to keep coming. I would also say thanks to
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: your followers because when we said who should we have on,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: you said, hey, guys, go right on this post and
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: then no, wow, I was big. We're a big attacked
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: by the followers of Jim. But no, it's an amazing
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: community to have online and for you to be doing
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: well at work, be an amazing partner dad, plus build
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: that community. It's really amazing. So well done.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: No, thank you, guys. And it was a great honor
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: for you guys to have me on. And yeah, it's
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: been awesome, Thank.
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: You, thank you.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: He was definitely one of my favorite guests to have on,
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: just because I feel he was so easy to talk to.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I think I see myself as a bit of a
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: bit of a gym character, do you. Yeah, Like when
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I dropped the kids off at school in the morning,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I'm always like, hello, Hi, five fist bumps. You know,
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like kids light up when they see me.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: You know, they get me.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, you're in amongst one of your own.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know they're like, oh this is here's Lola
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: and Marley's dad. He's cool, he's hip, he gets us.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Just like Jim. They're like, oh, like I was coming
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: over you high five of them.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Oh God, I think like I look back and I
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: wish I had a teacher like Jim. Yes, I feel
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: like he's very good at understanding kids emotions and also
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: what makes them tick being a teacher.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the only teachers I had at school were the
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: ones who got me suspended multiple times?
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: How dare you blame them?
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: But also shout out to all the parents out there
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: who had a surprise bundle of joy myself included.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: If you've enjoyed this episode, please do matter favor. Only
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: two hundred reviews.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want anymore.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, angle, I like it. I think I'm full treating
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: me keep keene.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been I've been starving for so long. But
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: actually I don't think I can handle another review?
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: I want them?
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Well, please, maybe just fucking do it a different approach. Sorry,
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: or you can draw the turns of tabled. Yes, well said.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: Or you can join us on socials. We're at now.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Two Duting Dads Facebook. There's a group. We have a
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: page as well now on Facebook. Yeah, big, set it up.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Thanks Vick, Facebook, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: And you've really lost your way.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm so cool because I can just talk
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: about social media with him.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: Maybe you should be a teacher one day, me too.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: One day. Well, oh my god, teach. We could teach
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: together like a duo.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: Half the work.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Marley has a class where they have two teachers. I'll
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: do Monday to Wednesday. You do Thursday, Friday. No, okay bye.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land