Latest / Momtalk Maryland / The Balancing Act: Motherhood, Family & Friendship

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The Balancing Act: Motherhood, Family & Friendship · Momtalk Maryland

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, claire Duarte, founder of the Columbia Mom, and this is your spot for real conversations, local love and a whole lot of community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Whether you're folding laundry, running errands or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, let's dive in.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: So today we're talking about motherhood and friendship.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Something that I feel like is one of the things that's like not exactly talked about but not in like in the taboo way that's not talked about.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: It's just me, like, because we're so busy in motherhood, it's just one of those things that feel like we don't have time for because our kids and our families obviously come first.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: We're in this new season of life so it's like how do you maintain either old friendships, um friendships that you kind of had from potentially end of college or before all of that?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Um, you know your young adult span, um, you know your kind of single days or your couple days to you know, uh, then once you start having kids, cause then you start like introducing lots of other new relationships like, um parents and friends from your kids school or work, um, or your new neighborhood where you live, right, it becomes a whole big mix and, um, you know, I think a lot of times I feel like one of the easiest ways we start to meet mom friends, it's like you know, from, uh, kids that are around the same age, um, maybe you know, for any of those that have kind of been in the stay-at-home mom sphere, sometimes that feels easier kind of, because you have a little bit more time to connect and do meetups here or there.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so I kind of figure like this is a perfect kind of segue to talk about it, I think, for me.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'll start just by sharing sort of my personal experience, like I know that I'm super extroverted, but again, when we moved here in 2019, brooke was six months old.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I had another full, a full-time job then that I was partially working from home but like working outside of the house.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: We had just moved to Columbia, so I didn't really know too many people here, so I definitely didn't really do a lot of like friend meetups in in Colombia at the time and like the girlfriends that I did have were from college and they were all spread out or they were still in the city, uh, and maybe they hadn't had babies yet, or something like that.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of just that.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: You know, interesting part of life, yeah, um now, obviously COVID didn't make any of that easier naturally, and I feel like during that part of my life is where I started probably leaning into a lot of like social relationships.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Like there was like women and mom that I started to meet online, like via Instagram, like kind of hinting at a little bit of my origin story there.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: But that is you know how.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I kind of got into more social media stuff.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: But there were like women I'd never met before and but they were also doing similar like influencer things and we had like a really close pod for a while and then, but now fast forwarding to kind of like coming out of COVID now I know that more of like my city friends have moved to the county and then like, obviously, since starting this platform me being very extroverted I know that I may be a little bit of a unicorn in that regard like I feel like I don't have trouble making friends and I love to go out and do that.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: My kids are also not babies anymore, so I have a little bit more of that time to be able to go out and do things, um, but it is still challenging to fit in all like the things that you want, and how do you balance and maintain those friendships?
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: You?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: know, yeah, I always say like I am very fortunate.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, you also are born and you have sisters and brothers, so you have like a built-in friendship.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I have a brother and sister, but I also have a bunch of cousins and girl cousins that were super close.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: So I kind of grew up with like my friends, but also my family are my best friends too, um, but you know I'm I always say it probably will come off bad, but in this part of my life, especially moving to Maryland, I didn't know a soul when, I moved to the DMV area.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Oh for sure, and I just kind of was like I'm going to wing it and do my thing.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I am at a point in life where, like I'm going to work hard at a friendship that is meaningful and impactful and going to make me a better person.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's a lot of people I come across and I'm cordial with and friendly with, and it's awesome.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I love having people around me and I'm also very extroverted, but, um, I'm very mindful of who I put my energy into.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Um, if someone at this stage is going to like give me grief about anything, I'm not, I'm not here for it, oh yeah, um, I'm not going to be made to feel guilty at this point.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Um, as I tell my husband, when I'm talking about this world of friendships, I have my cousins.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I still have my best friends from elementary school.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Which is rare.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I think that's super rare, yeah, and we have a group text and I actually woke up this morning like, oh, our text has been quiet for like two days and that's like weird for us, like we are constantly texting.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: But I know we're all busy, yeah, um, I have a best friend.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: You know, I have best friends from college.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I was fortunate to go to college with my cousin, so again, we have that built in best friendship.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: And then you know my best friend from like after college, um, I have these people in my life that fulfill me so much that at this point people coming in are like extra bonuses.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if that makes sense.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Um, I always say, like our team here in the Columbia mom, I mean, what are the chances that we would all connect so quickly?
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: And we all had COVID babies, and not only COVID babies, they're all boys.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: So we have that connection, uh-huh, um.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You know the people I've become close with here since, especially like living in Howard County.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: They give me a purpose, they stand by me, they help me out.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: So I think that's the balancing act in this season of life, of finding true friendships that add to your plate yes, that aren't going to take away from your plate or make you feel bad about something, right, I was joking with a friend of mine and I was like, yeah, I texted so-and-so, asking a question, and I found out that that person was like who's this?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: 5'8?
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: number I was like, okay, maybe we were cool, but I was like, okay, we were not friends.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like friend friends.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, does that make sense?
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Like, but it was like a funny moment and didn't upset me at all.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I was was like okay, I know where we stand.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: We're cool.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: But like that's, that's how it is Right, If that makes sense, Like and I know me living being a transplant, especially in Howard County, where it's like so tight knit and so many people are from this area.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I feel like an outsider a lot, that I couldn't wait for my kids to go to school.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I was like I can't wait for my kids to go to school.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Not saying that these moms are gonna become my best friends and a lot of them become close friends?
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but just to have like a new community.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think community is a strong word there because, like I, um, I look at my parents right and like I know, funny enough, they just got back from Germany.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: They were a little there for like 10 days and it was with my funny my mom's name's Sharon and her friend and her other like one of her longest friends, this woman, sharon, and um'm like the last two Sharons left in the US right.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And I don't remember no, they're not college friends, but I think maybe from their first job or something like 40-plus years ago.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And now that they're, you know, all of their kids are grown, you know, out of the house.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've heard her talk about, you know, hanging out with them more and more and I was like that's really awesome Again, the power of friendship, right.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: But kind of bringing it back to the last one, talking about like community, you know, I do think we go through life, we go through different stages, we go through different seasons.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I fully believe that some friendships, some relationships and people you meet are sometimes, you know, made for a season of life and sometimes that season is really long, sometimes it's really short.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: You know you think about, like different work, friends or people that you've kind of interacted and you know in different roles.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Like you know they're not like cause, they're not in my life forever, but they there are people like, for instance, like when I got married, there were people at my wedding that I haven't seen since because they were sort of tied to the job that I had at the time, but at the time I was very close with them.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: No harm, no foul.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Like that was just a different season of my life.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: And that's okay, you know what I mean.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: But, like you know, yeah, I remember thinking like my college friends were like all my sorority girls and we were all, of course, so close and we are we still like to get together.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: We're all kind of spread out, we're all like, luckily, like you know, in the DMV, but we're, I mean I have a few that are closer, but like I mean, I like my best friend from college is also my sorority, who literally I'm seeing tomorrow, for her birthday, you know um, like you know she's the person.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I know that, like we can tell each other like everything, talk about everything.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Nothing's off the table you know what I mean, and our husbands are really good friends, our kids get along really well, like you know, all of that um and you know.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: And then I have all these series of friends from, like the girls that I've kind of met.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: You know whether they're a series of mom friends, whether it's kind of just from the Colombian mom connections, like I made literally some of my best friends because of starting this platform and again I do feel like a little bit of a unicorn.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I know you're really extroverted, yeah, but um, a lot of my friend group is kind of like half and half, and so it's kind of opened my eye to the introvert side of life even though we are not introverts.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I've grown to understand it a little bit more, because I realize that is a big challenge for a lot of women.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: But the reality is, I think, the introverts it's not that they struggle to make friends, it's just different because they're fueled and oriented differently.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: You know, like they are perfectly okay to live inside their home, see their husband, see their kind of context, and keep their circle small, and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, whereas, like for me, I cast a super wide net and, to be honest, something I struggled with in my 30s, now I could say in my 30s, now that I'm approaching the, the upper end of that, being 40, is awesome.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Exactly Well.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, like I am a friend slut.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I'm a friend slut.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: It's the extrovert.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever heard that term before no, and so let me explain.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I become friends very quickly.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I will slide into your DMs very fast, I will text you very fast, I'll bring that boundary all the way down and overshare and um, you know, for better, for worse, that is.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Um, that is my advice in friendships and I mean I have learned some, you know lessons over.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: You know, like I said in my thirties, where that did come back to bite me and you know realizing like, okay, I do need to be smarter about boundaries, um, because that's just kind of like who I am.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: You know I again it was probably the ADD in me, like the oversharing and whatever.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm a little bit of a friend, but like I get excited, I fall in love quickly it's all the air, the Aries in me.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I fall in love very quickly.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I'm very passionate, very fiery, so those kind of elements, those same elements I noticed come into my friendship.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I get it, and I think like my um one of my best friends, um, who we connected in my teaching lifetime.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, I actually you brought up the season and the reason.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I actually, for her wedding, for my maid of honor speech, I even said you know people come in we always say our quote is a reason, a season and a lifetime.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: And like I quoted it and you know we always say, like there was, we kind of surpassed all of them, like there was a reason we came into each other's life, mm-hmm, you were, you know, in a season of teaching brand new teachers, first-time teachers.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: We went through a lot together.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: But you know, she's still in New York.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I'm here and we talk every day and it's one of those like we don't have to be like hey, what's up, it's just like I need a bet or like a random, like what do you think of this shoe?
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Like our, our conversations are never like high by because they're kind of always going yeah, right, um.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: And I think that some friendships, like you said, your sorority sisters, like I know for me I played volleyball in college which is basically a sorority right, and like I don't talk to those girls all the time.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: But you know, one girl texted me the other day.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: She's like we're going camping down.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: By your way.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Give me some ideas.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Like I think you go through periods of your life and you experience things together that just will bond you, no matter what.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely, and like then you kind of go from there and they come in and out, but like you probably could see the person tomorrow, oh yeah, and it's like no time has passed right.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, um, so I think that's also that balancing act.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: You said you're a friend slut.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: You've learned your lessons.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I know some of the lessons you've learned with like opening up too quickly, yeah, um, but I think that's where I'm like as extroverted as I am and I love having people around me.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: That's where I'm almost guarded, where, like, it takes me time to realize to see if we're, are we gonna be?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Are we gonna be this?
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Because I am like before we started today.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I even was like this might be TMI, like we've been working together like you don't seem like a very boundary heavy person from what I know.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but September right?
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: you know, it kind of took me till May to finally be like.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I have a TMI question for you that reality is.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: You could have asked me this September 2nd, probably yeah.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: But I think that's where, like, I kind of have to gauge, because I can be a way too open book about things.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, me too I love to talk about anything and everything, right, but I have to figure out if that person I'm talking to is the same way.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Right, because I don't want to scare someone, right, well, and my problem is, I'm not necessarily worried if the person is the same way.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: It's where I again talk about the lessons learned of, like is that person going to be a keeper of whatever information I share, or are they going to?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: It's not just about it's not because what I shared is a secret, right, it's just are they valuable and important enough in my life that I shared?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know heavy, important or just really relevant personal stuff?
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: that like, oh, like I don't need to tell just anybody that and those are the lessons that I've had to learn in friendship in my 30s, um, and being a mom, because and again.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Really not everybody is probably the friend slut that I am.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I just and I don't know, maybe it's also part of fuel of like, you know, when I get to be out and like away from my kids, maybe I'm just like so effing excited.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Like another human we get to talk and like have drinks and go out, so that element like fuels it a little bit more for me.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: But, um, I mean I I love that a reason, a season and a lifetime and I definitely I do think it's rare, you know, to have those friendships from like when you were a kid and from that longevity.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: But I do think that's so beautiful and amazing.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, like I am still obviously friends with a girl that was like my childhood best friend.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: But, like she, lives in California.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: We have completely different lives you know what I mean.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: But like when we see each other, I mean she's what I would call my oldest friend.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't text regularly whatsoever.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I still call her a friend.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's different.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: And again, just Different thing.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate, like even you said, about your wedding.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I think, like I can, off the top of my head, think of two people that were at my wedding that I don't really speak to anymore and that's because they were husbands and not ex-husbands or like an ex, but like I think, between who we invited and it might have been because I got married at 29, so it was a little later in my life where I've been able to like a little later um 28.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: So I don't know if it's like, but yeah yeah yeah, and also by that point I had moved to Maryland, so I had like a couple years of like I'm down here, all my life is in New York.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Who am.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I super close with who do I talk to all the time?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And that definitely, I think, played into who was invited.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: But I mean it takes like just talking more like about those friends that aren't here, and even the friends that are here, like that mom guilt.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like even with your friends here in Maryland, in Howard County, do you experience that like mom guilt if you're not like able to make time for them?
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: And how do you go about like carving out that time between work priorities, family priorities?
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Or is it just like, oh, your best friend, you'll see at school pickup and a birthday?
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: party right that kind of checks the box.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I think, for me, I definitely don't feel any mom guilt, because I don't think I don't think we should like in that regard.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I think, like if my mom has said it too, it's like you know, your friendships in life shouldn't, you know, be bringing you drama.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: You know they should be adding to your life, you know.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So I definitely don't feel any like mom guilt towards my friendship, because to me it's assumed mm assumed you know what I mean.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Like I, if you're not reaching out, I don't have any pain, sadness or frustration.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: And vice versa, like I, I assume the best, yeah, I assume the best in people.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: All you know, always you know what I mean, um, so therefore, I'm not going to feel guilty if I'm not able to you know, because I know, as soon as I reach out, I know it's going to be a big flurry of like, oh my.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: God I miss you.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah blah.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: But like one thing sort of in the same-ish line of like.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: It is kind of like a little bit of mix of, I wouldn't say, the mom guilt, but like you know how much effort I put in versus like friends love the thing that.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I mentioned, and one thing I have personally have tried to be a little bit mindful of myself is because I do get really excited when I meet and connect people, and I will do the thing where, like I will, almost like love, bomb you because I get really excited and you know, and text, and I am the kind of person that I would text with somebody every single day because that's just like how I'm oriented.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: basically I would text with somebody every single day because that's just like how I'm oriented.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: But if I I I have, because of you know, some of these experiences in my 30s, I have tried to like be like hey, claire, step back, like how much is the other person putting into it?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Not that I'm like again not inserting mom guilt, but of like recognizing again that I fall hard, yeah, and that just we're trying to like going back to the very first things we said of like if I notice that I'm consistently like putting in more effort, do I want to keep going at that level because I like I just not everybody and not that I think that people need to meet me at that level because I realize I'm very extra in that regard.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I just I'm going to ride that wave and I just need to kind of come down to a little bit more of a medium spot, and even if that next medium spot still may be above most of my friendships.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: But that's okay, it's just like you know.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: If I'm consistently too high or too low, okay, I don't need to be texting this person every day or blowing them up whatever.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Let me meet that energy that they're putting in, because I think that's only kind of fair.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: I say that in like the complete love you know, and I think something else like what I experience is you know we're extroverted, but like I also want to help mm-hmm I you know, I know I have a problem saying no to things.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Oh god, right, and when?
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Um, I don't have that much of a problem being like no, I can't go out because of life, but like yeah, no, and helping someone out.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And I think that, um, that's where sometimes I feel like, oh, I'm putting a lot of effort into helping someone and maybe I'm not receiving that.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: But I've found also in this season of life and managing like these friendships with you know, school relationships and everything like I've definitely noticed it's all like I might be putting in this much yeah, a month two and then they put in this much for month three and there's a balancing act and that I think also helps me, like, sustain me, like, yeah, okay I might be doing a lot right now, but I know that person's going to have my back next week when I need that extra help.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And I think that's part of this, like mom world and navigating friendships right now too, is that we all like need those parents to help us out.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Do pick up, pick up absolutely school uniforms, anything like the random texts.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: I send to people I'm like who has a size eight skirt I can borrow for a week because there's no school?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, you know.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: So I think there is that aspect too and I mean it's hard, I think, for me.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Like I said in the beginning, I couldn't wait for Emily, my oldest, to start school, because then I knew I would like have a built-in community not saying I need to be best friends with all of Emily's friends, parents, but it's still this nice community to have that they're going to have our families back and vice versa, so do you have you know.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: With that said, do you have any tips?
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I know we got to wrap up soon but do you have any tips for like, especially new moms, navigating this like world of I have a child and a husband or a wife or a significant other person in my life that.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: I need to balance out with these friendships right or finding friends.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I think my biggest tip is just be open.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: It's just be open, open to new experiences, open to new people, you know, because we all need community, we all need friendships, and I think you know whether you're an introvert or extrovert, you know.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Just put yourself out there, you know, challenge yourself.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you need to bring more people into your circle like it's nothing, there's nothing wrong with the circle you have.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: It doesn't need to be added to.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: But there is an important element of like don't neglect the people that you love and care for, even if that means you only see them a few every few months, like that's okay, but just be open to those new experiences and open to valuing yourself enough to that you are important enough as a mom that you need that time with your friendships outside of your kids, your husband and your family yeah, and I think too, for like the, you know something that weighs on my head.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, oh, I haven't talked to this person in a while, like oh, I should reach out.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I think that's where my mom.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Guilt comes from, sure, I know like my advice is just send that person the text or send them, you know, respond to their Instagram story, anything like that, cause I know like when I hear from friends that I haven't heard from in a while and no fault to anybody, it's just life.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my God, I'm so happy they reached out Like that made my day and I think it's just like ripping that band-aid off, and going with it right.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: And then, just to close out, let's lighten it up a little bit yeah, yeah okay, and um, I know I didn't prep you for this, so it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, um, all right.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: So what is the most ridiculous text you've sent a friend recently?
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Oh goodness.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Well, this week's been a weird week.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I mean just saying like oh God, I can't have dairy for a whole week.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: So that has been.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: That's obviously not ridiculous.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Let me put it this way I have, um a friend that I think we have many of them, where I have literally not seen her in months, and I'm talking like over six months, um, we haven't talked on the phone, but I like love her to death, um, and we send each other minimum of one to five memes a day and that is the sustenance of our relationship and it is like it's the kind of thing that, like you don't want to look under the hood because it is some, yeah, insane shit in there.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I know I have my um, the, my friend, who I said the reason to seize in a lifetime.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like I said, like there's no high buys in our conversations because it's just constantly going, and I'm sure, like if I asked her, like what is the amount of ridiculousness of text?
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: that we send each other.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's scary sometimes, yes, the topics we dive into and say mm-hmm, although I think to be.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I did do a screenshot.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: This might have been more ridiculous.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I did do a screenshot shot of, you know, vibrators that are in sale to well, you know, my friends that I know we were just talking about.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: I was like screenshot this.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I'm like don't let your kids see this.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: That's right market research.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: You know people need to know, like who's buying at a discount and telling us how it how it works right, gotta disseminate the information that's why we're in marketing folks, we can't gatekeep.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Alright and then let's see who would you call if, figuratively, you needed to bury a body.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know, oh, I would definitely call my friend Monica.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, based on what I know of Monica, I can totally see that I might have to also call her.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even really know her.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I would call Monica, not because she's like the most savage person, but just oh, I would call Monica, yeah.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: I would.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't like, I don't even know how to fully put it into words yeah, I would.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't like I don't even know how to fully put it into words.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would call my cousins who are like my best friends, so Jesse, laura and Liz and my sister Amy, probably because you know family.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: First, they're not going to write you out and secondly, if I called them and I was like this is happening, pitchforks ready, would be ready to yeah, oh, yeah, going and yeah ask zero, that's, that's exactly what I know of my friend, like no questions asked she would roll up, like no guilt, like everything.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: So true, and to Wrap it up a little bow, what would what is your best like mom, friend date idea, or one that you've done recently.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I know you've been doing a lot of fun things.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I know I do.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: We do a lot of fun things um, I mean, actually I'm going on one tomorrow with my girlfriend for her birthday.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Um, she actually wants to get a piercing.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not but cartilage or something like that and we'll do like coffee.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I mean locally, like one of my favorite dates that I did with a girlfriend that I have done a couple times is like getting drinks at Docow and getting food there, because, one, their cocktails are so freaking good.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: It's like so Instagram kind of like cocktails are so freaking good.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: It's like so instagram kind of like worthy and cute and it's fun like any time of year.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: It's great during the winter, it's obviously great during the summer, so you can hang out like in the park.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Um, I've also done that before going to a concert like I, I just love that as a girlfriend spot for sure.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Um, and then I mean alternatively, last year we did like a girls outing this like tiki boat in downtown.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Annapolis.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: So we went to Chop Tank for a happy hour before.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: And then we all went out on the tiki boat and had like music and drinks and like that was super fun.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, the weather was good tomorrow, and Hannah and I had tomorrow's supposed to be rainy, so it wouldn't be fun for Annapolis, but we will make do.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: No, that sounds awesome.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, just a couple weeks ago we did like the girls night at my friend's new place and then we walked over to Stain Glass Pub, our local watering hole.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: And I felt like I was in college again, because it had dropped, like significant amount of degrees.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Oh god, from the start of it to like us going over there at 10 o'clock so I felt like in college, I was like shivering.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but like.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: but like it was just you know, myself and my two girlfriends like we just got to like hang out, have a drink, like it wasn't even anything special, but we just like.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: We're like we haven't sat down with three of us and I think that's what it is.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: It's like, no matter what you're doing, it's who you're around, who you trust, who you can have an open conversation with, and like not be holding back.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: And I think that's my big thing is, I have to hold back with someone, like fully hold back.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like we're gonna, we're gonna be good friends, but that deep dive right, it's all about the deep guy, all right right folks.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Well, on that note, well, this is the perfect note, because we'll just keep swimming our way through summer.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: So well, cheers to friendship, cheers to reasons, seasons and lifetime, no matter where you are in your life, in your own season, but here's to valuing motherhood and friendships.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, thanks for tuning into this episode of MomTalk Maryland.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend, or tag me at thecolumbiamom on Instagram.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you think and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting local and keep being the incredible mom, woman, human that you are.