Latest / For the Love of Hormones- Miscarriage, Hormone Balance, Progesterone, TTC, Cycle Tracking, Conception, Holistic Health / 200 | From Two Miscarriages to a Peaceful Birth: Amy’s Testimony
Transcript
- Bekah: Okay, ladies, we have a super special guest today. and when I say super special, like this is a very, very, very special one. Her name is Amy, and she was a doula client of mine. I love my doula clients with my whole heart and soul. And it's super, super fun when they are willing to come on and share their birth story because that's a big deal sharing something so intimate in your life. So, Amy, thank you so much for coming on and being willing to share today. Amy Heppding: my goodness. Thank you, Becca. I'm truly honored. This is my first podcast. That's even more fun. Bekah: Yay! Awesome. Well, Amy, why don't you start us off with your story? Because I know that you had some losses. And so that will really relate to our listeners here as they're dealing with healing after loss or wanting to get pregnant. So share with us a little bit about your testimony on that side of things. Amy Heppding: yeah. Absolutely. Yes. My heart goes absolutely goes out. I feel like I have never understood loss until really experiencing miscarriages. So yeah, my husband and I, Chris, we got married in twenty twenty four. and praise God, a couple months into being married, we found out we were pregnant. absolutely overjoyed. yes, we everything was going well other than being very, very sick. we heard his little heartbeat. but about a week later at nine weeks, we learned that there is no longer a heartbeat. So that was the first miscarriage. that yeah, that was just absolutely gut wrenching. I I really had never experienced miscarriage like so closely in my life. I had some friends I kind of knew about several years ago that weren't super close. I didn't really know what to say or really like how to Yeah, kind of like what is consoling during miscarriage. And yeah, my mom's never had a miscarriage. My sisters have never had a miscarriage. So it was something that was just very new to me. and Chris and I very much we are very, very pro-family. We've always dreamed of having a big family and something that we talked about while we were dating is that if like, yeah, if we find out that we either can't have kids or struggling to have kids or Anything like that. Like we want to be very, very quick to be proactive in terms of figuring out what the root cause is. So that's exactly what we did a couple months after my first miscarriage. live in Denver, Colorado, and luckily we have a lot of amazing providers that are just very like holistic, finding the root cause. And Vera from Dr. Peterson from Vera is that holistic. Fertility provider. How would you describe her, Becca? I know you know Becca. Bekah: That's perfect. A holistic fertility OBGYN. Yeah. Amy Heppding: Okay. Yeah, absolutely. She's so wonderful. So we went there. We really dug into a lot of hormones, just lifestyle, really trying to figure out what the root cause was. did never find out what the root cause was for this miscarriage or the other one. but we just continued on the journey because my hormones were absolutely horrible. Like my estrogen, progesterone were just on the floor, and there's some other things that were going on there too. So I'm really glad that we got early interventions there because yes, a lot of providers say they will not see you until you've had multiple or recurrent miscarriages, which is like three, which is absolutely insane to me. But Dr. Peterson was very quickly like, nope, like let's do everything that we can. We don't want this to happen again. and in March of 2025, we learned we were expecting again. Unfortunately, that pregnancy didn't make it very far at all. only four weeks. So that was a blighted ovum. So again, very difficult. We never had answers for that one. And that was just it was very, very hard because at that point as when you've had two miscarriages, you're like, okay, is this gonna continue to happen? Like is this the cross that the Lord has for me in store? And and he did give us so much grace through that. But yeah, so our second baby we named her Kiara and I don't know I don't think I said our first baby was Gabriel. so they're our two little intercessors that we have for our family. and yes, they're just very, very much a part of our story and our family, and they will forever be a part of our family. Bekah: Yeah. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. and praise God that they are in heaven and praying for you as you said. I love that. And you know, your story just it resonates with so many of us, Amy, and I'm so sorry. And it also points to the fact that even once you have that perfect care, like Dr. Peterson is pretty much spot on, you know, it's not always a guarantee, right? So, It's I'm sure that taught you how have open hands in your faith, you know, understanding that okay, I'm doing everything I can be doing physically, spiritually, emotionally, and I still have to leave it in the Lord's hands. Amy Heppding: absolutely. Yeah. It's Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: it's hard to understand on this side of heaven. It really is, but I do know that those souls were created for a reason. And even if it's just to leave me and my husband closer to Christ, like praise God for that. Yeah, I very much believe that there is a greater good that is gonna come out of these losses. And there's a good chance I'm probably not gonna experience it in this lifetime. I would absolutely love to, but that is just the are the passion resurrection of our Lord. Anytime that there's a death, there is a resurrection. yes, I am very much, I am so grateful for my faith. I'm Catholic. and yes, all the teachings of the church that we hold to be true is those babies are so innocent and they're absolutely in the arms of Christ. And yes, believing in the hope of the resurrection is just absolutely what has kept me at this course. yes, very much hoping in the Lord. It's It's quite it's been it's very frustrating, you know. I don't think any great saint or apostle or anyone has that has gone before and is now in heaven has been without some sort of suffering. but yeah, that is the thing about our suffering is we do not get to choose it. so that is just something that I frequently think about. and yeah, the even though I'm now very grateful to have one baby earth side, I still think about those sweet babies all the time. Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: I really do. And yet I think the loss it's it never truly you still always feel it and you know this deca very well. It it doesn't necessarily just go away. but I think that there are little glimpses. It's it's more I'm sad for me and my my earthside family rather than them because yeah, they're they're not experiencing any sort of suffering. They never were cold, they never were hungry, they've only ever known love. So I'm my heart absolutely goes out to anyone that's experiencing loss. That is such a hard, hard journey. Bekah: Yeah, absolutely. it's hard and beautiful and it's it's brought you to where you are. So walk us through you know, after your second loss, kind of what that looked like and then getting pregnant with your sweet baby. Amy Heppding: Yeah, absolutely. So I think at that time that was, let me think, April is when we lost Chiara. and yeah, I think just emotionally I was a little bit like, all right, I feel like we just kind of need to take a break for a little bit because we did a lot of testing, lots of doctors' appointments, all that stuff. So for the summer we I kind of just took it off. and yeah, spent a lot of time. I did a little bit of like reading about fertility and hormones, just more about nutrition. but I kind of did take a little pause from doing any sort of extensive testing because I did find it was kind of stressful and I felt kind of just stuck in a cycle of not really sure where to go. we did later learn in this was August, so yeah, the summer had gone by I was expecting again. and of course. I was a little bit hesitant this time. It's like, all right, Lord, like whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen here. were optimistic. I'm so grateful for my husband, Chris. He's just very, very hopeful and he's good he's he's got an engineer brain, so he's good at kind using the information that we have in front of us. And it's so funny because we were just kind of starting to plan just like some fun things to look forward to. planned a trip to Italy in September. but we're like, well, like, but if we get pregnant, then like we probably like won't go this time. We'll have to do this or that. so I remember telling him that we were expecting he came home from work one day. and I'm like, Well, Chris, like I don't think we're gonna be able to go to Italy anymore. And he was just he was so he had the biggest smile on his face. He's Really? We're not going anymore. It's just not the not exactly the reaction you expect. But I I know he yeah, Chris has always wanted kids, many kids. So I know this is Absolutely top priority for us. And yeah, we're absolutely over the moon. About a week later, we went camping for Labor Day. Just Labor Day weekend, we went about four hours in the mountains near Durango. And it was like the first night once I got there. I jumped out of the truck and landed on my foot wrong. And I broke my foot, snapped my fifth metatarsal. didn't really realize it. I was I thought I just sprained it. But yeah, we ended our camping trip pretty early, came home, later learned that it had a broken foot. So I was not walking on that. I was four weeks pregnant. I was did not tell my family quite at this point. And so it was just Krista and my best friend Reed that night I was pregnant and had a broken foot. And I'm like, All right, we're gonna get through this. And the morning sickness and the nausea hadn't quite set in yet, but Yeah, a couple weeks later I told my family was really hard to hide when I was so visibly ill. and my family was always so wonderful and very supportive every time how I've told them we're expecting. but yeah, the first trimester was so incredibly difficult. I think back to that, and I cannot believe my mental health actually stayed okay because I was basically on the couch for eight straight weeks. Like I was so incredibly sick. I was supplementing with progesterone, estrogen. I was just, I could not keep anything down. I never say it right, but I had HG. How do you actually pronounce is it hyper H or Bekah: H C G or not H C G H G. Yeah, hyperemesis gravidarum. Amy Heppding: Okay, yep, yeah, you said that way better than I probably would have. But yes, I was I really couldn't keep much down. I was so sick. Anything made me just throw up and I was still working too. So and I hadn't quite told my co-workers I was expecting. luckily I do work from home and I told my manager and she was absolutely elated. But I'm like, all right, if I am on if you're never seeing my video on Zoom call, it's a good chance I am horizontal. Or have my head in a bucket. so that did persist for a good while. it was the fall too. And if anyone gets seasonal depression, it just kind of there was just yeah, a whole slew of things. but the Lord was just, yeah, He just gave me so, so, so much grace throughout that. I yeah, I like I said, I was on a very high dose of progesterone. and Kept testing that to see when I could finally ease off of it. And as soon as I eased off of it is when I actually started feeling better. So it really might not be correlated, but I do think there's a strong chance that progesterone did actually make my nausea a little worse because I was sick until about 22 weeks, like very sick. And I when I say sick, I say like throwing up at least two, three times a day. And then I kind of started to back off to more once or then eventually once a week. Chris and I are like, Okay, like I'm starting to feel better. Should we plan our Italy trip again? Like, we we gotta do this. This is like a bucketless trip that we've always wanted to do. And I'm like, you know what? I can I can be pregnant and go to Italy. Like women do this all the time and my foot was starting to heal then I could walk again. So we're like, let's go in February off season, you know, it'll be much cooler there. So that was just such a wonderful experience. And I'm so glad we did that because it encouraged me to actually walk a lot. And I really like, I think I was like, I actually can walk and I actually feel better. And plus it's Italy. So you could eat all this p pizza and pasta and all these carbs just at the drop of a hat, which is really I think that helped me. That was super inspiring. So it on it if anyone's considering traveling while pregnant, I was like first week into third trimester. I would Highly recommend doing it. And also, they absolutely love pregnant women in Italy. You get to skip all the lines. The it's Encinta, Encinta is pregnant, and it's just having you go to the front of the lines, which is awesome. And it was like super cool. So I wasn't like hot, sweaty while pregnant, too, which was great. So that was so providential and highly would recommend that. but yes, I'm very grateful that from pretty much. 24 weeks on, I did start feeling a lot better. And yeah, my the rest of my pregnancy was very boring, which is kind of how we like it. So yeah, just kept up with my walks around the park. and yeah, that was basically the bulk of third trimester. So Bekah: It's amazing. You were so mobile in that third trimester. Amy Heppding: Ha ha Bekah: I was just amazed every time I came to visit. man, I love that. Amy Heppding: I had to make up for what I wasn't mobile during first trimester. I had to do all of that. Bekah: Yeah, you and you certainly did. You definitely made up for it. well done for persevering through a really hard first trimester and even well into your second, that's very difficult. So I'm glad you made it through that. trying to remember at what point so at what point did you feel like okay, this pregnancy is staying, we're gonna carry our sweet little Andrew. And when did you kind of start building up your birth team, you know, and and all of that? Amy Heppding: Yeah, I did start, I'll answer your first question, because I know that like plans are always cancelable, which sounds so horrible when like you're preparing to welcome a new baby, a new life, whatever capacity that is. But about 12 weeks is when I stopped going to Vera because she sees patients until 12 weeks and says, All right, go fly the nest and here's some other great providers. and then that's when I was like, goodness, like I I would really like to have a doula. And I asked Dr. Peterson, like, what recommendations do you have? And she directed us to you, which was so wonderful. I'm so glad because yeah, Chris and I knew we wanted a doula just because there's so much that we don't know about birth. Like this is our first time, and we want someone that knows what they're doing, especially because we did feel pretty convicted, at least for our first. Birth, that it would probably be best to have it in a hospital setting. But I also wanted to do it as low intervention as possible, which is I know kind of tricky in a hospital. So very quickly, we're like, all right, we need someone on our team, hence Becca. Yeah, you were I interviewed two doulas, and I'm like, I interviewed Becca first. I'm like, yep, she's the one I want to go with. And the other guy was very great too. But yeah, I really loved Becca's approach. yeah, and especially just hearing. About your own journey, I think there's definitely something that kind of connects you too, and you've experienced that just like yearning for children and going through loss. So was this, yeah, Becca was an awesome fit. and our Dr. Peterson also recommended another awesome OB, Dr. Ted and Salny at Our Lady of Hope in Denver. and he's very much old school. very much just yeah, he was fine with low intervention. He's kinda by the book or not really by the books. He's kinda wha how would you describe him, Becca? Bekah: Well, he just supports you physiologically. He Amy Heppding: Mm-hmm. Bekah: and yeah, straightforward. that's that's how I would describe him, supports you physiologically, which is frankly a little bit rare in these days for an O B. Yeah. Amy Heppding: Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. I know he served in the military as an OB for several years too. So he's very knowledgeable. but yeah, he's been doing this for I think like 20 plus years. so yeah, we started going to him, felt super great about that. And yeah, we just like Chris and I just would talk about all the time, like how we had like the absolute best team that like we just like were unconcerned and Once we committed you as Ardula, you're like, all right, here's all like this, like this natural birth course to do. and it was a little bit intensive, but I'm really, really glad that we did it because there are just so many different scenarios that could happen in birth, as you well know. so I really do feel like that did prepare us for a lot of different scenarios. and yeah, Chris and I would do it together, you know, like however many nights on the couch just put on our little natural birth course and just learn about that. outside of preparation for the birth course, we also Chris read the Bradley Method, husband coached childbirth. or most of it. He read most of it, I should say. and a book I really loved. truthfully like the only book I o read all the way through about pregnancy. It's called Made for This by Mary Hazel Tyne. And that was just so inspirational in terms of connecting birth to really the spiritual element of it. Just really kind of taking you through that what it looks like as a woman to be created for this and why this is actually supposed to be a beautiful experience that really brings us closer to Christ. So I really, really love that. That was awesome. So I highly recommend both of those books because yeah, Chris was, he had all these fun little tips from his book. And for mine, I think that was just a lot more mentality related. So those I would say like material-wise were the biggest things we did to prepare for birth. other than that, and I'm gonna backtrack just a little bit. like the biggest thing I think we actually did was pray. Praise God that I know we have so many people that are praying for us. my sisters, my mom, lots of friends, families included. but my mom, she was talking to me. actually, no, sorry. I'm gonna back up just a little bit more because let me let me be a little bit more chronological. So I heard about friend. they were struggling to conceive for about a year and a half, and they started this devotion called that's the Our Lady of the Leche devotion. so essentially what this is, it's a prayer to Mary, mother of Christ, essentially for her to intercede to provide for more children so we could have more kids. so essentially what this devotion looks like in practicality, it's all stemmed from prayer. That really like that devotion. And the more like sacramental portion of it is you say this essentially novina, and novena means nine or nine prayers and sequence. Usually it's nine days. This one is like a novena. you start it and you don't end the novena until your baby is born. So my friend, she prayed this novena for gosh, I want to say six months before she was pregnant. And all throughout the pregnancy until the birth. So what it is, it's this the legend, I should say, is that when Mary was traveling out of Egypt, out of flight of Egypt with Christ, she stopped at this rock and essentially was nursing Christ there, and a drop of her breast milk fell onto the ground and it turned the ground in the rock white. and Early Christians discovered this and they built a grotto around it, calling it Our Lady La Vlecche or the Milk Grotto. And for essentially the last couple thousands of years, hundreds of years, couples that are trying to conceive or experience difficulty in breastfeeding, anything like that, they go to this milk grotto and pray for Mary's intercession there. and to take it home with them, they consume. powder essentially like the dust from the milk grotto. So it definitely does sound weird and I know Catholics can have some weird devotions like that. I promise it's not superstition or anything like that. it's all rooted in devotion and really increasing our faith in God. and that's a beautiful way to do it is consistent daily prayer and that's essentially what our blessed mother is doing. She's leading us closer to Christ through that. so Rewind, I was chatting with my mom a little bit. this was last July, so yep, a little less than a year ago. and she just knew what we were going through. I've heard mention of this devotion before, and she just so happened to tell me that day. She's like, Amy, like I just feel like really like convicted to tell you that I I actually Got some of that milk grotto powder from her parish priest because her parish priest takes pilgrimages to the Holy Land and he gets little tiny bags of this Milk Grotto powder to bring back. And essentially, when he knows that couples are trying to conceive, to say, like, hey, like, have you thought about praying to Mary or to Jesus through Mary to conceive and gives them this devotion. So my mom got some of that for us, and Chris and I are like, Well. What do we have to lose? Like a little, we're just putting like a little speck of dust into our water every night, and you pray a decade of the rosary, the joyful mystery, which is the nativity of our Lord. So we started doing that, and actually, 10 days later, we found out we were expecting. So we're like, okay, we gotta continue this devotion. and we did it for all nine months, every night, yes, when. We did not miss a night, which I'm I don't think I've ever been that consistent with anything. Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: Even no the nine-day novenas I struggle with. So doing it for nine months was definitely the Lord having his hand in it. and I really do think that it increased my devotion so much to our lady and just her uniting my heart with hers and just like really just thinking of like her journey. Of in pregnancy with Christ. I think it is just so beautiful to meditate on her bringing Christ into this world every single night. So I think that definitely was the biggest spiritual element that increased our both Chris and I's devotion. And I think, yeah, and I like praise God for our little baby Andrew now. Bekah: Yeah, that's amazing. Well, this is like such a huge part of your story. And it's something I didn't learn that you guys were doing until after the birth at your postpartum visit. And so when folks hear your actual birth story, it's just it's very eye opening. You know, myself, I come from a Protestant background. And so some of the practices and some of the things, you know, you guys that are a part of your faith are different from my background and my faith, right? But ultimately it is very awe inspiring and inspiring for all of us to just take grasp of this utter devotion that you guys carried from before you got pregnant and then every single day throughout your whole pregnancy to the Lord, you know, and and we think of Mary a little bit differently, but but ultimately, like we all need to sit and think like, yes, Mary is pretty incredible. And I do agree that she is alive, right? More alive than we are, we would say. And it's really fascinating to think of what her pregnancy must have been like and her birth must have been like. and yeah, it's it's just it's beautiful what you guys did and and the devotion that y'all had to Christ, you know. and then thinking of that through Mary as well. Amy Heppding: Yes. Bekah: and and boy, boy, did it show up in your birth. So it was so cool. So walk us through yeah, your your birth story and your birth experience. And I'm gonna have to pipe in as a doula here because like Amy Heppding: My gosh, please. Bekah: yeah, yeah. So and I I'll probably just preface this, maybe if you don't mind, Amy, of you know, just sharing with everyone being a witness to Amy's birth, Amy and Chris's experience was so humbling. It was one of the most like spiritual sacred experiences I've ever been a part of. And it was definitely not a normal birth experience, physiologically. So Amy went through you went through a lot, but I feel like the Lord protected you in some senses of like what typical natural childbirth is like, which can be extremely intense. and for anyone who's been listening for a long time as a part of my journey, my birth experience, my last one was, I mean, it was so painful, it was traumatic. And I had PTSD from it and it was, it was a it was a really awful experience. Although there was a lot of good that came out of it, it was really, really, really hard. And so to sit and witness what Amy is gonna share and what what she went through, it w it felt very healing to me. And it felt like I really got to witness the power of God in your birth. And that yes I I suffered in a very different way in a very traumatizing kind of agonizing type way but God is more powerful than that and it was beautiful to witness your peaceful birth. So I just had to like say that. so Amy, why don't you just go ahead and share with us your birth story now. Amy Heppding: wow, man. It just means so much to hear you say that because I mean, yeah, I would I I know I felt it's just like yes, like the Lord's hand was over all of it. And it was like hands down, like one of the most absolutely like I I don't even have words, just like how like spiritually uplifting it really was. And so just I'm so grateful that you were able to be a part of it, Becca. yeah, like and guess really like help, you know, like be like such like a like a beautiful presence like along the way. So yes, first of all, I just have to say so grateful to you for that. But yeah, it was absolutely beautiful experience. I'm not gonna say it was it was definitely painful and it was hard. So it's just not one of those, yeah, I had a pain free childbirth. No, this absolutely not. but yeah, so I really, really wanted to go into labor naturally and I wanted to have Like I wanted to have a home birth in a hospital setting. That was pretty much my goal. And in order to do that, I'm really glad that you were on our team. because yes, I think I would have had a lot of other suggestions, maybe not. you know, if I'd decided to go to different providers or decide to not have a doula, I think I just wouldn't be nearly as educated. But yes, I am very, very grateful. I did go into labor naturally 39 weeks in one day. I it was a Saturday, I got that's technically Sunday. It was Saturday going into Sunday at 1 30 a.m. I started having some contractions, but I've also too heard about padromal labor. Is that am I saying that right? Okay, Bekah: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Amy Heppding: yes, okay, yes, padromo labor. I so I like 1:30. I didn't even wake up, Chris. I'm like, this could just be false slaver. Like, I just want to be able to ignore it and just go about the rest of our day. I just want to be able to try and get some sleep. Like, I really did gaslight myself. I'm like, no, I have at least two more weeks. Like this, I'm not gonna go early. but yeah, I woke up or I I woke up probably every 20 or 30 minutes when I had contractions. but when I finally woke up, I told Chris, I'm like, hey, like having some contractions. I I'm pretty sure that they're not real. Like, should we go to mass? Like, should we not? And Chris is like, let's just like rest, like lay low for a little bit, and if you're feeling better, usually go to eight a.m. He's like, we could go to another time. So it's exactly what we did. I mean, and we're staying pretty consistently anywhere from I would say 10 to 30 minutes apart and just like not really increasing. So like Yeah, let's go to Mass. So we went, but I'm like, let's also sit near a door in case like my water breaks or something crazy like that. So went to mass. It was beautiful. coming back from receiving communion is when I had one of like the couple contractions I had during mass. And it was just I was coming back and had a like my hand on a pew. It just kind of toppled over for a second, but got up and carried on and was good. and yeah, I just kept. Continuing on all day, I texted you. I texted the OB. I'm like, hey, I think this is false labor, but also it could be real. and my favorite advice is what you told me back. You're like, you know what, Amy? Like a lot of women or a lot of midwives say to get in the bath, have a glass of wine, take a penadrill. And so I'm like, well, hey, if it's effective. I only did the first of the other ones. I did take a Unison though, because yes, third trimester is a little rough. To sleep and Unisom helped. So I just kind of laid low that entire day. and about nine o'clock at night, I got into the bathtub. and I I had been taking a lot of baths at this point. something super relaxing just kind of became like my nightly ritual. And I also too just kind of wanted to get into like a good, like relaxing mentality. So for probably like several weeks leading up to birth, I would just play with my pregnancy and birth playlist, which was On Hallow, which is also where I happen to work. So shameless plug to the best prayer app out there. they have a beautiful pregnancy and birth playlist. that has different birth affirmations, different scripture affirmations. And so I think just kind of hearing that and like training my brain to be like, okay, like, no, this is something relaxing, calm. so that's what I did. I was in the bath, but I feel like And my contractions kind of started to pick up a little bit as I was in the bath. and got out at 9 30 and went upstairs and like, hey Chris, like I think this like like they I think this might start getting real because my contractions were like two to three minutes apart. And Chris was like already in the bed and he did not sleep well the night before, poor guy. And he's like, Amy, like, are you sure? Like let's just like He like kind of like gave me a like he's not really one to be like give me a lot of attitude, but he gave me a little bit of tune in a sense of like, come on, Amy, like can we just like try and go to bed? I'm like, mm, okay, time my contractions and then we'll decide in an hour. And sure enough, they stayed pretty consistent for an hour. And that's when you got the phone call from us, Becca, be like, Hey, I think this is real, this is happening. and it was so funny when you were like I didn't I don't I didn't really like feel having contractions like making a lot of noises. and I remember you did say to Chris, you're like, okay, like put Amy up to like to the phone and like let me like hear her. And I was looking I'm like, well I I like I was kind of like quiet. So I'm like, okay, I I guess I can be vocal so Becca will come over. I'm like Bekah: Well, can I just interject there? Because you just weren't normal, Amy. Like even when you were mean, I I think I have I remember taking a video of you when you were in the hospital and I think you were about to start pushing or you were pushing and you were still quiet. Like you weren't loud. So typically as You know, as doulas or midwives, like we'll we'll want to listen to you because usually we can hear, usually it goes from like being really quiet, which is more reflective of, okay, she's probably more in like the early labor type stage, versus once you get into that more active, usually you're a little bit louder, or there's like the mmm or something like that, you know, some kind of moaning or something. but there is just nothing like the whole time for you, even when you are pushing. Amy Heppding: Yeah. Bekah: So that's why I was kinda and and I know that there can be exceptions like yourself. I just hadn't really, I guess, experienced that yet with one of my clients. And so I was like, well, maybe so Amy Heppding: I think that's totally valid. It was like what time was it? Like 11 30 at night or something like that. Bekah: Uh-huh, yeah. Amy Heppding: Yeah. So I mean like if we're gonna get up and drive over, better be the real deal. So I get that. That makes sense. and it was. but yeah, so that was like funny. I'm like, I don't know how else she's gonna hear me. I'm like, I could I can make these like I get like these like practice noises during contraction, which I did later and kind of exhort a little bit more. but yeah, as soon as you Came over, I was downstairs. I felt so badly as soon as you walked in. Lottie, my dog was so excited, ran up to you, and like I something in me just not feeling well anymore. Right when you walked in the door, I just threw up. But I'm very actually glad I did because that Unisom I took made probably would have made me a little bit more tired. So that probably was out of my system through that. I mean, yeah, which I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. at this when you showed up, I think Chris, or maybe just before you showed up, Chris is like, I should probably pack my hospital back. I'm like, Yeah, you probably should. And some a good little tip I learned is I just made like a shared notes, like a checklist of like everything I want, that I wasn't able to quite pack, like toiletries and snacks and all that good stuff. so Chris was able to take that list and just go through the house and be like, okay, check, check, check, check. So that's a good tip for anyone's husbands or partners that like to wait a little bit longer until packing. but yeah, so I labored at home for a good while. I was down on the couch. and yes, I was in between contractions. And what did you say to me, Becca? You said, like, like there, Amy, I I think there's a little critter. In the house. Bekah: I don't know. I don't know what I said, but I saw a little mouse run under the ottoman and then under the couch that you were at and oops. I think Chris I know. Amy Heppding: That was so shocking to me. No, I just cause I we've never had mice before here. But I think what it was is it was a cold day and our bathroom is currently under Chris is redoing our bathroom and left the crawl space open. So I think a little mouse wanted to be nice and toasty that day. So came into the house. So I remember you telling me that and I think in like And like my right mind, I'm like would have been like, mouse. Like mice are skittish. Like I'll just go in the other room. But my labor brain is like, let's go upstairs. I don't feel safe here anymore. but yeah, we were I'm I'm like, I don't think mice can climb stairs. I mean I d I I had to tell myself that, even though I know it's not true, mice can fully climb stair. Bekah: But no, not when you're in labor. They can't climb stairs. So you made the right call. Yeah. Amy Heppding: No, no, absolutely not. Yeah. So was able to labor for a good while. and that's when I lost my mucus plug and had bloody show. And I'm like, okay, I think I actually want to be at the hospital now. I think I was a little bit fearful of being like fully in transition while driving to the hospital. And it was probably, I mean, I honestly don't have very good concept of time. I think it was probably like two, would you say, Becca? Two AM? Or so. Okay, okay. Bekah: Something like that. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Amy Heppding: yeah, so that's when I'm like, okay, let's go to the hospital. I'd like I think I kinda wanna just set up there a little bit and just kind of have peace and not be scared a a mice is a mouse is gonna come and jump on me at any given moment. but I would I'm glad that I will say I'm glad you told me that Bugger because of like a mouse like touched me or anything like that. Like I would have probably lost my mind. Bekah: You would have lost it. I know. I was trying to I could have made a better call there because Chris was sleeping and then you were down there. But I know you would have known if I'd left. But I knew like I'm like, my gosh, if she sees a mouse that she doesn't know about, like she's gonna lose it. And so I I was so Amy Heppding: Yeah. You did what you the best you could. I mean, that's a really weird situation that they do not teach you about. So Bekah: Good golly. Amy Heppding: I know that was a a fun one. But But yes, we made it to the hospital. yeah, so funny is like as soon as they like checked us in, I like I was very much just like did not want to talk to anyone. Chris put headphones on me. I did not want to sit, but they're like, come sit in the wheelchair and The very, very kind, well-meaning medic. He was like just trying to make conversation as he was wheeling me to the room. It's like Bekah: told him to stop talking at one point because yeah, those people like when you get to the hospital, like they just want to hear all your story, but they don't have anything to do with your care. So the person who this happens every time with the hospital and I've done it enough where I'm like, you don't need to talk to her. You have nothing to do with her medical care. So I was a little short Amy Heppding: My goodness. Bekah: with him because he was way too chatty. And I knew you didn't want that. So Amy Heppding: Yeah, thank you, Becca. See, I feel like I hardly like I was not listening. I kind of pretended like I couldn't hear him because I could like yeah, I had like the noise canceling headphones on. but yeah, could maybe bring a sign next time to say, please do not talk to me unless it's critical. Yes. I know. Bekah: Yeah, seriously. I love that. That's a great idea. Yeah. Amy Heppding: Yeah, for those that can't read the situation apparently. Yeah, women I can't imagine most women in labor that are like truly in like active labor, like wanting to Like just have like a little chit chat conversation. Bekah: Yeah, very few. Amy Heppding: Very few, very few. But yes, we got to the room. I mean, yeah, Chris went I honestly I feel like I kind of don't remember a lot because yes, you had very well coached Chris to go over the birth plan with the nurses or anyone else that was there. So I was honestly I didn't explain anything to the nurses because frank frankly, I was laboring and I did not want to. So Chris took care of all that. And yeah, honestly, I think as far as I know, I mean, Chris might tell you differently. The hospital didn't really give too much pushback on our birth plan, just saying, like, hey, low intervention, like I didn't want the continuous fetal monitoring. I I remember them saying, like, that's fine, but we just need to like do like a non-stress test for, I don't know, was it 10 or 20 minutes? So I was like, all Bekah: Mm-hmm. Amy Heppding: right, that's that's fine. but yes, we w went in there, made the lights nice and dim, got the yeah, B Becca's Essential Oil Queen. I'd always have those. Those just bring them and sniff underneath my nose, which is great, or put on a cloth. and yeah, I had the Hallow playlist going on. So yeah, it was actually like a very, very peaceful environment, which I think was so critical for me. I feel like that just like really, really helped. my mentality just kind of going through contraction after contraction. also very grateful that the hospital had a nice big tub. so that was great that yeah got in that pretty quickly maybe an hour or so. I yeah, I think time is just I'm like trying to like conceptualize time. I actually don't know like the true like when everything happened. But yeah, the labor in a tub was so wonderful, very like peaceful. And yeah, Chris was like there too. and yeah, I feel like active labor was just like that's probably like the biggest word I would use to describe is just peaceful, you know. like those, like I very much just like yeah, I felt those like waves come and like yeah, those like intense like surges, as they would say. but I was able to breathe through them, I would say pretty well. tried a bunch of different positions, which was really wonderful. Was on the birth ball, was in the tub, was out of the tub. yeah, and then I remember the at shift change, another nurse came in. We had a great nurse for a few hours when we first checked in. Another nurse came in, and I was like mid-train or contraction, and she just like started chit-chatting. Like the first thing, God bless her, the first thing that she said. Like, okay, like I know this is kind of a weird question, but are you guys Scientologists? I'm like, like, what? Like, why is this relevant? and she and like Chris is like, no, like we're we're not, like, we're actually Catholic, and she's like, I know it's a weird question. I used to work in Florida and they had a lot of Scientologists there, and they would like to have like the lights really dark and only let like the women like speak, or I'm like, yeah, I just wanted a peaceful environment. And I know Chris didn't have a chance quite yet to go over the birth plan with her, but she just kind of started asking all these different questions and talking to me about an epidural and how long I'm like, no, no, no epidural. And she's like, all right, well, if you change your mind, you have to wait like 30 minutes and this and that. And she just kind of like, she was a chatty one. yeah, there's a few other things I remember. I think I was just like kind of like annoyed because I was just like trying to like. Focus on being in labor. And I think she was very much taking that. And Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: I'm really glad that in the course that we took, and even Becca role-played with us, if we have a nurse, that's just really ruining the vibe. Like, what are we gonna do there? and it's so funny because yeah, the lot one of your last visits, you came over Becca, and you kind of roleplay this exactly, and you're like, all right, Chris, what are you gonna do? And Chris is afterward, he's like. That was that was kind of silly, but I'm he's like if you ask him now, he's like, I'm so glad that she did that. Cause it prepped him to go over to the charge nurse and say, Hey, like, we're so grateful for this nurse being a part of our care. We just really don't think that she is the best fit for the birth plan that we have in mind. Like we would really love it if there is another nurse there that is really in support of a natural birth. nurse is like, All right, I'll see what we can do. and yes, it was you, Becca, that kind of prompted that. I I think it was you either asked me or Chris. Bekah: Well, let's hear. I think she she came in and she did her thing Amy Heppding: Mm. Bekah: and and then she stepped out and Chris and I looked at each other and Chris was like he just he just looked at me and kind of shook his head and I was Amy Heppding: Thank you. Bekah: like and I looked at him and I shook my head back and then he looked at you and he was like, Do you want me to sack her or should we work with her? You know what you said. Amy Heppding: Is that what he said? Bekah: And you were like, No, just get someone else and he's like on it. And so he just went out and and did it. I was so proud of him. So Amy Heppding: Me too, me too. And praise God that we did ask for a different nurse because she would have been with us the entire duration. Bekah: All the time. Amy Heppding: Like she would have been there for delivery. but in Walker Raya Sunshine, that is Maddie, God love her. she's an amazing nurse. And as yeah, she came in, this great nurse that I actually knew her from high school. and we go to the same church and I know she's very, very passionate about what she does. so like immediately like seeing her, like at first I was kinda like, Huh, I know her. I'm like, she's gonna see like all of me, and it's a very intimate thing. But my second thought was, That's okay, it's just Maddie. And like she she knows what she's doing. Like I very much trust that. And yeah, she even had a like a nurse in training with her who was also awesome. But yeah, Maddie was just like the ray of sunshine that we needed. Like she's so good at her job. She read the room, you know, was there for us. So like, and if we hadn't asked for another nurse, we would have been stuck with that former nurse. and that is absolutely not. I think it probably would have been a lot more difficult, of a especially pushing. because yeah, I think. active labor. I there was like a couple times where I just took note that like everyone was just like kind of on like the outside of the room. just kind of just like being like very quiet, like letting me do my thing. You know, I feel like I just had absolutely like no like self awareness. Like I just feel like any like sense of like yeah like I had that's truly like when they say like like you're like in like transition, like like you like walk past like an a million dollar bill or whatever. Like I feel like that would have been me for sure. and yeah, so a few hours kept going on and gosh, Becca, I feel like this is the part where it gets really fuzzy. So you'll have to help me out here a little bit when Dr. Ted came in, if you don't mind filling in there. Bekah: Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah. So he came in at one point and again, you were such a quiet laborer that I know it felt like it, you know, things were intense for you and picking up. But from people who've seen birth a lot, we're kind of like, is she still an early labor? Honestly, because that's what that's what it looked like, you know, with how calm you were. We could tell. I mean, like clearly you're in labor, but sometimes I know I've seen, I'm sure Dr. Ted has seen it too, with like sometimes you're in this labor pattern for days even, but for some reason, and it's very rare, but it does happen, like your cervix doesn't make any change. So you're only at like a one or a two, you know? And so I think I don't know if he was thinking that, but I was I was hoping that was not the case. Like I was hoping like Lord, let her be where she needs to be right now. Like let her be well far along. But I was like, and there could be a chance she's only at like a one or a two. I think he was thinking the same thing and I and we both knew you didn't want any exams. and at the same time you've been laboring for a long time. long time. Amy Heppding: And not at least been like I think it at this point, yeah, by the time Dr. Ted came, it was probably like twenty to thirty hours or yeah, I think I was like Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: I was dead over a day, let me think. Yeah, like about like thirty hours until Bekah: Right. So it's kind of like at this point, it's like, well, it would probably be a good idea to know, make sure like you Amy Heppding: Yeah. Bekah: are making the change that, you know, that we think you are and stuff. And just in case, if not, you know, knowing that might not be a bad idea to know, like, okay, do we just need to try to get a good nap in, try to get a rest in, let your body take a break, or do we keep pushing through because you're actually really far along? And Amy Heppding: Mm-hmm. Bekah: so Yeah, so he kind of presented that option. I think I kind of short shortly kind of gave that perspective and kind of gave you the choice and you consented to an exam. Yeah. Amy Heppding: Yeah, yeah. That was the first cervical exam that I had. Yeah, they didn't do one upon admission. So it's like, yeah, you really don't know like where you're at. but I think too, I kind of didn't want to know because like that's the thing. Like I'm like I could be like, even if like you are like fully like dilated, it's like if you're not feeling ready to push, like I'm not I'm not gonna push. and I I did not want anyone telling me to, not that I thought anyone on our team would. But yeah, I yes. And I think another like fear, I think like you told me that and another fear of mine. I'm like, I don't want Dr. Ted to miss the birth because he has an entire practice that he runs to. And so Chris kind of told me he's like, hey, Amy, like he's like thinking, like, should he go back to like his practice and have like all of his appointments for the day or should he stay here? And I'm like, okay, great point. I think I would I would like to know right that now. I mean yeah, and as soon as he checked me, I was complete, like I was fully dilated. I like honestly, like I feel like I don't remember like I I think he like was talking more to you guys. I think he must have talked to me too. I'm sure he did, but like in like my fuzzy labor brain. Bekah: You know, he was awesome 'cause he really didn't he didn't talk that much at all. He Amy Heppding: No. Bekah: was just like, You're doing great, you got this. Like I think that's what he told you. Like, keep doing what you're doing. So yeah. Amy Heppding: Okay. I feel like I don't I like it was it's so fuzzy because yeah, I don't remember him like saying Bekah: Right. Amy Heppding: that much. but yeah, so I am it was great that was probably, let me think, like eight thirty, nine in the morning, 'cause that's when I think Chris texted my family, like, hey, Amy's in the neighbor. like, yeah, if you like wanna like pray for her, like they said that she's like ready to push whenever. yeah, I think I I was just not I was not quite ready. Like I just like did not feel like the urge for a while. I was just, I was really tired at this point. I mean, I had pulled an all-nighter, you know, and then some the night before. Like I was running off a lot, not a lot of sleep. and I just like remember like saying to you, I'm like, I think I need a nap. Bekah: Yeah. And if I could say too, like this was incredible because a lot of times, you know, when you're at this transitional point of like you're complete, you're not quite ready to push. I always tell my clients, like, do not push, even if you're complete, until you're ready to push, until you feel like you need to. Because it will literally save you hours. And also once the hospital starts tracking that you're pushing, like they're literally counting the time that you're pushing and they have a time limit for you pushing. So it was, it was great that number one, you're like, I I need to rest. I want to rest. But also from my end of things, I'm like, holy cow, like this girl, like you took, we all took a little nap. We you took a nap Amy Heppding: Yeah. Bekah: and you were not medicated and you were, I was just like, I mean, this is this is how it is. Some a lot of times when Women get an epidural, you know, maybe when they're like an eight or a nine, then they get to a certain point and then they're like, Okay, like I'll take a nap with the epidural. But I'm like, you took a nap, like you had an epidural and you had no epidural. It was just like it was crazy to me. I'm like, that's amazing. And and thank God, because I think we all needed like a little bit of rest. mainly you. Amy Heppding: you took a nap That is so funny. I don't remember like the like you napping or Chris napping. Bekah: I mean I barely got in like a little bit, but it was just enough. It w I but I mean, I feel like we had a couple hour of a break, pretty much, until Amy Heppding: Okay. Bekah: you felt like you were kind of ready, which is incredible. So yeah. Amy Heppding: Man, yeah, 'cause I don't think had my water been trickling at that point at all? Bekah: I can't remember if it had Yeah. Amy Heppding: I don't think it was until I was like pushing. Like yeah, so my waters had not broken yet. I mean, yeah, I at some point must have felt better. But like, okay, like I guess I'll like try pushing. And I like remember like asking you like back, I'm like, like, should I push? Like I kinda like I feel like the urge, like I feel like I should. You're like, Well well, do you want to? And I'm like, Well, I mean, like I felt like time was like ticking. I'm like, Yeah, let's get the show on the road. Like, that'd be good. And I was like, I really did think like pushing would take like like, let's try a couple practice pushes. And I'm like, what if he just like comes out? Like that was really what I was thinking. And if I could just laugh at myself in that moment, because that was so not the case. And yeah, I pushed for three and a half hours. And yeah, it was that was hard, especially like the first like two hours were just like I it just didn't feel like I was making any progress, even though like I knew I was I tried a bunch of different kinds of positions like on my knees, standing up, on the toilet. And finally at some point, like my I guess my waters had bag had like trickled like a little bit. Maddie had told me that and like I didn't even feel that. I'm like, well, all right. like I guess that's a factor. but then I just kept pushing for a good other while, but or for longer, I should say. and yeah, it's like nothing was progressing so it felt. and I just remember I was I it felt the most comfortable to me to be on my back pushing, which is totally not something I thought I would do. Cause I'm like, I want to use like gravity, but I was just so tired that I felt like I couldn't rest between contractions unless I was laying down. and yeah, I was two hours at that point. I was pushing, I was so exhausted, and I don't think I've ever doubted myself more in my life. I'm like, I can't do this. Like I am so delusional for thinking that I could do a natural childbirth like this. Like I I can't do it anymore. Like this baby's not coming out. And I asked Dr. Ted, I said, like, what are my options? And he's like, Well, we can do forceps or we can do vacuum. And I know deep in my heart of hearts, I did not want to do either of those, but I just really did like I didn't think that my body could do it. I'm like, well, like honestly, like and I was asking about like the risks and of a vacuum and I also too like Chris is here and I'm also like this is also your child and I don't want anything to happen to this baby. But I'm also like, I don't know if I could push him anymore. and so I was very much considering a vacuum and I think Chris said, Amy, like let's try like let's like either you or Chris said, like, let's get up and try some more contractions. And Chris said, like, let's try ten more contractions and like see where we're at. Chris later was like, yeah, that was a lot more than 10 kids' reactions. So we actually decided something. But went over to the bathroom. And yeah, they say the toilet is a dilation station. and there I I had a low-key fit. I was like, this is hard. I don't want to do this anymore. And Becca, you're so loving and wonderful. You're like, I know it's hard. Like, this sucks. And I'm like, it does suck. And meanwhile, you're very kindly like putting honey sticks in my face because I was so dehydrated and my gosh, I should I definitely should have been drinking more, but I just was not hungry, not thirsty. but I think that was like I needed you there. Cause I think Chris like he would have like seen that, but I think and like he probably would have been like, hey Amy, like you probably should take a sip of water. And I probably would have not been very kind to him. But I'm like, I don't know you as well as I know Chris. I'm like, I'm not comfortable enough to tell you no, Becca. You know. so I did take it when you would put it in my face. so yes, we were over in the bathroom and I had that little fit and I'm like, I think I want the vacuum and then that's when my water like broke even more. I actually don't think it fully broke, because I finally got the courage to watch the video you took, Becca, during birth, and there's a huge bag of fluid that came out with Andrew. So I think like I don't think my water fully broke until I was crowning, essentially. Bekah: That's amazing. Amy Heppding: Yeah, so I mean, but that was what I needed. I'm so glad that you or Chris or whoever told me it was like, let's like sh like switch positions, let's like try Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: again. And I just remember coming back from the bathroom, like I just felt this crazy, like really like this is probably the strongest contraction I felt. And I was like leaning on Chris, I just dead weighted onto his neck completely. And my gosh, like yeah, like that gravity, man, like that really does it to you. Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: I'm like All right, get me back up on the bed. I was pushing and pushing for what felt like so long. and everyone just kept telling me, You're so close, Amy, you're so close. I'm like, what does close mean? And at one point, Becca, you're like, it's subjective. Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: And I'm like, all right. And Chris is getting so excited, he's like, we can see the head. I'm like, really? Like, does he have hair? And like, we don't know. I'm like, what do you mean? If you could see the head, you don't know. It was just so frustrating. but it was so good. And like going back to I'm so grateful that the nurse Maddie was there because like I like, yeah, everyone was encouraging. You were there. We had the student mid wife Rojoon there, Dr. Ted, Chris. but Maddie was, I really feel like she was the one like I was listening to. Like when I had a contraction, I had a couple pushes, like she was like, Amy, like you are so strong, like you don't even know how strong you are. She just kept saying, Run to it, Amy, run to it. Or like during a contraction, she's like, one more push. Like I was like, Okay, Maddie, okay. And it's so funny 'cause she's like five foot nothing and she's just like so peppy, like wonderful. But I feel like in that like moment, I'm like, I will do whatever you tell me, Maddie. And I was so grateful she was there. But yeah, it was absolutely like surreal. And Chris was just getting so excited. But it really didn't feel real. Like I didn't think like it was actually like happening. I'm like, I thought it was gonna be another like however long as member kept looking at the clock. I'm like, okay, this baby's gonna be here by twelve forty-five. And then twelve forty-five passes and it's one. And then it's one fifteen. And I just stopped looking at the clock. but it was, yeah, they called the baby nurses. and that's when like, yeah. He came and fully came out. And yeah, it was just absolutely so beautiful. and I just I was just so exhausted at this point. everyone was talking to me and I heard none of it because I was just like so like in this like unreal trans. But I just think that like yeah, like especially just like through all of that, there's just like a lot of different things that were going on that got me through like that. Was very much all like the physical element of it, but I think kind of internally what was going on is just all of like the suffering and like hardship, it's very, very much like it's just not physical, you know. Like that is such like the beautiful thing about the way of a Christian that we're called to is like we are called to use this suffering for redemption. Like we're called to unite it, we're called to offer it up. and so yeah, during the contractions, I was just praying, like I was praying with Hallow. I was just, yeah, I had like my rosary and I I I tried to pray it. That did not go very well because I just kept getting distracted. But something so beautiful that I had is this crucifix. that when we were trying to conceive, this wonderful deacon that I know, he gave me this crucifix and yes, he blessed it with chrism, just yeah, this holy oil. And I just I keep it on my desk right here, and I frequently look at this crucifix and Yeah, I just try to cling to the cross. and I just yeah, have this image of just me like gripping on the crucifix in very, very like difficult times. And they brought this to labor. And that's what I wanted to do. I just wanted to embrace the cross. And And that's just like an image I've I I hold on to. It's like, how do I embrace this cross? Like how do I cling to this cross? Because I know that all suffering is redemptive. especially especially in birth. Like there is no greater know, like suffering than like beauty. Like there's like such like a beautiful, redemptive suffering of seeing this child like being born, like being able to do that. Like I just felt so fully invited into Christ's passion like I never have before. through all of it, through like the falls, like through like the like the hard, painful like contractions. But also it's like you don't get to stay in the tombs, like you get to be brought into that resurrection of meeting that sweet little baby. and that was just absolutely incredible and Something else, I couldn't even tell you where I heard this. but I knew I really wanted every single push I had or different contractions, like I wanted to have specific intentions. So at my baby shower, I invited my friends to said, Hey, please like write down a prayer intention that I could pray for during labor, that I can offer some contractions for. and so I had some friends do that. I reached out to some family and had my own intentions. And that was something I asked you to do, Becca. pretty early on. You read off okay, like this contraction, you know, that's for this couple that's struggling with infertility. This one is for the souls in purgatory, this one is for anyone dealing with infertility. So all those like beautiful things I think really, really helped. me like focus, like take me out of my own head. And like this is not about me. Like my labor, my birth, like this is not necessarily about me at all, but this is being used for something greater. and yeah, I just like that was something that I forever want to do. That was something I did for one of our miscarriages. Our first miscarriage, I did have to have a DNC just because of the circumstances, but the second miscarriage, I was able to pass that baby naturally. and that was something I had with me while I was miscarrying is I had my list of intentions, you know, and you still very much like have those contractions and those pains. and that I think during in the context of miscarriage, it's very difficult because it doesn't feel as redemptive. but we do not know the mystery of our faith that those beautiful intentions are being brought to completion the way God intended for us. to sorry, I'm choking up a little bit. But Bekah: Yeah. Amy Heppding: yes, he very much wanted to bring it to the finish line and to completion however he sought. And so I think it was just such a joy to be able to offer these intentions and a birth that is just it's so intense and so joyful at the same time. but that was absolutely something that anyone that really wants to have a prayerful birth, I would highly, highly recommend having intentions, having like some beautiful prayer going on. We had some Gregorian chant, and yes, the different some praise and worship, like really, and I was like really like pushing. I'm glad that you changed the vibe a little bit, like all right, get some energy up. but it was just, yeah, I would say it was absolutely the most spiritual experience I've ever had. yeah, I think even like the night, like I was having a hard time like falling asleep because I was just like so like in awe of like this entire experience that had just happened. I would I would really compare it to kind of like going on a retreat and they say like you have that like retreat high and just like I felt like especially like the week following like in the hospital and when we got home, like I was so so sleep deprived, of course, as anyone is after giving birth. but like I just felt it's like so clothed in grace and just like absolutely like riding that as long as I possibly can. and still am very much yeah, just kind of like in that like trance. And I think that the Lord is very much use that in my own life. Like that is how like He's like wants to like speak to me, you know, that like our suffering is redemptive. It's not for nothing, it's not in vain, whether we know it on this side of heaven or not. Bekah: Amen. Amen. I'm so happy that you got to go through the suffering with the true redemptive, resurrective type thing with the birth of your sweet baby boy. it truly was such an incredible moment. And thinking back, like honestly, girl, your birth was incredible. The way that you handle those contractions and everybody listening, I'm like, I want you to hear what Amy did because it it it was so beautiful how you devoted your contractions and even some of your pushing to these intentions prayerfully for others. I think that helped you so much and grasping to your crucifix. I didn't know the story behind that of how that was given to you and and just that personal connection and how you clung to Christ through that, you know. it was it was so so incredible to witness. and yeah, you did have a moment where you're like, you know, with I don't know about my options, like Dr. Ted, what are my options? And I was thinking, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Amy Heppding: Yeah. Bekah: I think I piped in there of like, you know what, like let's just let's just go to the bathroom one more time, you know, and Chris supported and and encouraged you and Yeah, cause cause it's from my end of things, it's like, no, like you're getting so close. Unfortunately, Dr. Ted, I mean, he never pushed anything that you didn't want on you, which was so awesome. Like you having him as a care provider was so monumental. Cause truly, if you had been in a different environment, different care provider, different nurse team, that whole experience could have looked so differently. So I'm so thankful that you had the team that you did, who was so supportive. And sometimes it is like like I feel like I was like, I had to pull out my doula card a little bit. Or like I had to, I had to be a little bit tough Amy Heppding: So glad you did. Bekah: on you at one point. Number one, to get you out of the bed because you did not want to get out of the bed to go push some more in a different place. And then number two, I remember you were sitting on the toilet, like, I just don't think I can do this anymore. And I'm like, You're gonna have to do it. Like you can do it. And and you were you were, you know, you've got to get through it. Cause sometimes it's like getting It can be really hard. Like everything that you did worked. Yes, you did all the positions. And I'm just taking a second here to encourage you. You did all the p positions, you did all the things, and it was working. It just took time. It took so and sometimes that's just how it is. Sometimes it just takes a lot longer than we can fathom or we could imagine and and all of that. And you handled it so beautifully. And you you pushed through quite literally and you did it. You did Amy Heppding: Ha ha ha. Bekah: it. so I'm just so proud of you. and I just I have a memory of yeah, you came out from the toilet and then you grabbed on to Chris and we got him backed up against the wall because man, you were about to knock him to the ground. Yeah. Amy Heppding: He's not ready. Bekah: So we got him against the wall and then you were leaning on him, and then I came behind you and I was squeezing with all my might to help open up that pelvis so that baby could come down some more. and you know, I just I'm I'm so glad you got the outcome that you did. Like you did it. You 100% did that all yourself with by the grace of God and by his strength. So, and that's not always the story for everyone, and that's totally okay. But I'm so proud of you. on a million different aspects. So well done. yeah. Amy Heppding: thank you. Couldn't have done it without you, Becca. And I I truly mean that. I really, really do. Bekah: You you would have done it. You would have done it. But I'm so glad I got to be there with you. Amy Heppding: Maybe not the way I would have hoped for, yes. Bekah: Maybe you never know. You never know. Just praise God for the way that it went. It was so incredible. so as we wrap up our time here, can you share like what are the top encouragements you would have for the woman who is preparing? I wanted I wanted you to share in one, maybe I'll put this little bit earlier, but what's your encouragement for the woman who is healing after miscarriage? And then after you share that, maybe what's an encouragement you have for someone who's you know, spiritually and even physically preparing for birth. Amy Heppding: Yeah, absolutely. for anyone that is going through a season of infertility, as healing for miscarriage, anything like that, really longing for a baby. I would just absolutely say just keep the faith, just be hopeful. I truly don't know how and then I was thinking as how I got through my losses, is I don't know how I would have been able to done it, do it without my faith. So I would just absolutely say to Just trust, yeah, God is good, you know, and He has what is best for you. And yes, everyone's path is so different. But yes, just keep hopeful. pray so much because yes, of course, yes, God invites us into that. So it would be my biggest encouragement for those that are really longing for a baby in For those that are pregnant or preparing for birth, or would maybe yes, like to have just any sort of yeah, just a very transformative birth. yeah, my encouragement probably be the same. two big things is yes, trust in God. and of course, and along with that is just daily prayer, whatever that looks like for you, even if it's Two minutes a day, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. Just make it a priority to pray because God absolutely wants us to be co-creators with him and to will good. That is really what prayer is all about. So I would absolutely say cling to him in that. but work like it all depends on you, pray like it all depends on God. So the work like it all depends on you is just making sure that you have a really, really good team. I was so blessed to really have that here, especially in Denver. But that is well, well worth it. Yes, preparation I think is key. And I don't think I would have been nearly as prepared without an amazing doula, really without a great OB. I think it's would have been doable, but I don't think I would have had the same outcome by any means. So yes. So trust in the Lord and know your team. Yes. Bekah: Yeah. Amen to that. Awesome. Well, Amy, thank you so much for coming on and sharing. I so appreciate you. I'm gonna pray over you and your sweet family and over all of our listeners here. Amy Heppding: This is so wonderful. Thank you so much, Becca. Bekah: Yes, thank you. Father God, we come before you. We thank you for Amy and Chris and their sweet baby boy Andrew. And God, I just pray for a blessing over this family. I pray for their two children in heaven, Lord, and that you would bless them as well. I pray that you would just for a protection of peace and health over over their family. and I just pray that they would raise Andrew and the future children that you would give them up for the furthering of your kingdom, God. and that you would continue to bless just their fertility. I pray, I pray against loss and suffering and sorrow in their fertility story, Lord, it and let your will be done. And we thank you for the incredible experience that you brought forth with Andrew's pregnancy and and his birth, Lord. And God, I just pray over all of our listeners. Lord, I just pray that you, your peace would be in them as they hear Amy's story they hear about your goodness. They hear about the goodness even in suffering, the goodness in just faith in you, Lord, and trusting in you in the hardest of circumstances and the glory that you will bring from it. So God, I just pray that you would encourage them. I pray that you would heal them and restore them and bless bless their bodies to receive life that you would sustain full term, Lord, for a beautiful birth experience as well. We pray all these things in your holy name. Amen. Amy Heppding: Amen.