Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Some Narcissists Refuse To Leave You Alone

Transcript

Why Some Narcissists Refuse To Leave You Alone · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  So why is it that some narcissist refused to leave you
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  alone? What did they think that they
• 0:08
  are showing you By refusing to leave you alone?
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  By stalking you? By popping up on you?
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  What are they trying to show you?
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  What are they trying to prove? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:17
  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
• 0:19
  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Discovery.
• 0:41
  I told you I'll be bouncing behind to see you.
• 0:42
  I'll be. Hey, I get hyped to my theme
• 0:44
  music, to the intro music. Yeah, I'm sure I do.
• 0:48
  But yeah, yeah. What the hell are narcissists?
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  What are they trying to prove? What are they getting out of?
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  Like, not just refusal to leave you alone.
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  What the hell is the point? Like what are they doing?
• 0:58
  Before we hop deep into today's episode, y'all make sure y'all
• 1:01
  know. I'm going to say make sure if
• 1:02
  you haven't already, then check out my kids book.
• 1:06
  Remember, it's not your fault. It's a good kids book.
• 1:10
  It's a conversation starter to start those tough conversations
• 1:12
  with your kids about toxic relationship dynamics, telling
• 1:16
  the truth, loving themselves, and not taking accountability
• 1:18
  for how their parents are. Like you were saying you don't
• 1:21
  you know you don't get to choose your parents but y'all yes.
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  Why in the hell do some narcissists refuse to leave you
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  alone? I had this thought I was just
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  like why? I do so many one on ones over
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  zoom. I talk, I do so many coaching my
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  coaching courses and things like that.
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  I tell people, narcissistic people have trouble showing you
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  that they love you. Eat through it in deep emotional
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  connection, right? At first it seems like it,
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  right? At first it seems like y'all are
• 1:49
  building this deep emotional connection and that things are
• 1:52
  going good, things are going amazing, right?
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  Things are going great. Y'all are building, y'all are
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  just y'all in love, right? Y'all doing so much, but then it
• 2:02
  fades and then it's like they never didn't start treating you.
• 2:05
  It's them. They're like they never like
• 2:07
  they never loved you, right? It's damn near like that.
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  It, it feels that way at least right?
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  So what the hell are they? What, what what are they doing
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  by showing up? Like the emotional connection
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  seem like it fades, but the physical they show up.
• 2:20
  They are there. Their physical presence is
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  there. Narcissistic people think that
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  they are showing you that they love you by being with you.
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  I'm here, art and I if I didn't, if if I didn't love you, I
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  wouldn't be here. If I didn't love you, I would
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  leave you, right? Isn't that right?
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  This is the mindset, this is the mentality of narcissistic
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  people. They think by simply their body,
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  their presence, by being there, they think that is showing you
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  that they love you. Lee, that doesn't make any
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  sense. I know it doesn't make any sense
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  to a rational minded person, but if you, if you take a step
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  outside of your body, right, you take a step outside of your body
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  and you start thinking about the dynamics of a, an abusive
• 3:06
  narcissistic person, you'll get it right?
• 3:09
  You start to understand a little bit more about the inner
• 3:11
  workings of a narcissist mind. How they think that by them
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  being with you, they are showing you that they love you.
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  And how could you not get that? How does it like it doesn't make
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  sense to you, but to them, to myself, for a long time, it
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  didn't make sense to me that you didn't get it.
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  Like it didn't make sense to me that you didn't understand how
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  my mind works. It didn't make sense to me that
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  you don't understand me. Like how how why don't you get
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  this? Why the hell don't you
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  understand that my me being here is me showing you I love you.
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  That's why they see out. That's why they sound so damn
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  snide when they're saying it. I'm here, aren't I?
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  I would if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be with you.
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  What the hell are you talking about?
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  And y'all be like, damn, I don't get that.
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  Love is more than that. Love is actions.
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  Love is verb. Love is deep emotional
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  connection. Love is, you know, damn near
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  unexplainable feeling. Love isn't just being here.
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  You're here but you beat me. You're here but you lied to me.
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  You're here but you manipulate me, you hear, but you cheat on
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  me. You see what I'm saying?
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  But the mind of a narcissist works differently in that
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  circumstances, right? Works differently in these
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  situations. But narcissist, this is, this is
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  how it goes. That's why when you break up
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  they won't leave your ass alone. They think I know it doesn't
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  make sense. Y'all let me I'm I'm
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  preferences. Let me preface this by saying it
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  doesn't make sense to you. But in the mind of a delusional,
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  abusive, narcissistic person, it makes complete sense to me like
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  that. I'm showing you that I love you
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  by popping up at your job. I'm showing you that I love you
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  by popping up at work. I'm showing you that I love you
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  by popping up at your house, by writing these letters, by
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  sending you these text messages, by emailing you, by sending you
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  money on Cash App, by requesting money on PayPal.
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  I see. Yeah, I heard it before.
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  I heard this. Yeah.
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  Not all narcissists have money, right?
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  So there are some narcissistic people out there.
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  This is a this is a funny 1A woman.
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  She see me some screenshots. It was a man, like he was
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  messaging her through PayPal because he was blocked
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  everywhere he was. He's requesting money.
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  He's requesting money. He's like he's requesting like
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  didn't send so he can send a message.
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  It was crazy. But them doing it right there is
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  saying, hey, look, this is me showing you that I love you.
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  Why don't you? Why don't you believe me?
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  Why don't you trust me? Why don't you want to be with
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  me? I'm showing you that I love you,
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  Art and I you should be you should be thankful for me.
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  You should be here for me. You should be here with me.
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  This should make sense to you. Why are you?
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  Why are you against me, right? Why are you against me?
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  Why don't you understand this? Like I'm showing up.
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  I'm all I've always loved you. I'm stalking you.
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  I'm watching you. I'm making sure you're safe even
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  though you need safety. If you even though you need to
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  be safe for me, I'm making sure you're safe.
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  I'm making sure that they're, you know, like I say I do you
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  have somebody watching over you at all times.
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  I'm making sure that you're never lonely.
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  It doesn't make sense to you, but to an abusive, manipulative,
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  narcissistic person, it makes complete sense.
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  My presence, my body is loving. Hey, I might not be able to give
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  you that deep emotional connection.
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  We might not be able to talk about nothing at night.
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  We might be suffering and just down there suffering and
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  surviving and thriving at night time or whatever the case may
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  be. But hey, I'm here, aren't I?
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  I'm, you know what I'm saying? I'm we, we, I'm we're together,
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  aren't we? This is the mentality that you
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  face. They think that you're they're
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  showing you that they love you. And again, y'all let me say
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  this, my friend Lisa Sunny, shout out, shout out to Lisa
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  Sunny stronger than before. She said this right?
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  She's like, it doesn't make she's like, it doesn't make
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  sense. She's like lady, that don't make
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  sense to me. I was like, yeah, it doesn't
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  make sense, but to me it does. Like they think they're showing
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  you that they love you by popping up on you, by sitting in
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  the bushes, by stalking you. Then there's sometimes like it's
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  it's crazy y'all how the mind of a narcissist works.
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  Like it really, really is like they keep doing this type of
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  stuff over and over again, thinking, hoping that they break
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  down the barrier and nothing's like I said, if you go back to
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  them, by them showing you that this is love, like them, they're
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  showing you that they love you, right?
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  And if you go back to them, this is all you should expect for a
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  little while, right? People going to say and some of
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  y'all might will it work on some people?
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  Yes, it might work on some people, right?
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  And that's also what Lisa say, at least say people are going to
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  people are going to see and hear what they want to hear sometimes
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  that you're going to see and hear the the narcissist that
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  cares for you because of how things are, because of what
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  we're saying, because of what's going on, right?
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  You're going to see and hear. You're going to hear is going to
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  make sense to you, right? You know it's going to make
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  sense to you. But as I say, it's like, well,
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  they are showing, they are showing up.
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  All I ever wanted to do was show up and now they won't stop
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  showing up. So does this mean that they love
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  me and you go back into it? The more you go back into it,
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  y'all, the harder it gets for you to leave, you know, and
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  that's just the truth right there because they manipulate
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  you. They say this, they say that the
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  longer the more you go back, the harder it gets to just finally
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  cut free to finally break ties, to finally set yourself aside
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  and set yourself apart from the person, this person, this
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  person. It does does y'all.
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  It gets into this space and then it into this, you know, into
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  that mind of a narcissistic person like you took me back by
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  me just showing up physically. So why would you expect me to
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  show up emotionally? You took me back by showing up
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  physically. I told you I loved you.
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  They said that the words y'all. It's the words.
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  It's not the actions. OK?
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  Oh, I've got a lot of rent bubbles coming out lately and I
• 9:01
  love it. I love the rent bubbles.
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  I know y'all, some of y'all be y'all be dropping the fire
• 9:05
  emojis that Lee I love that round needed it.
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  Like y'all the words I love you don't mean shit.
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  I had to say I don't know. I'm gonna be cussing a lot.
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  I had to say that y'all I love you doesn't mean shit.
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  They're not. They're not showing you that
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  they love you. In their minds, they are.
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  It's crazy, right? If I say I love you and my body
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  is here, we're still sleeping together.
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  I hug you. I kiss you every once in a
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  while. My, I still live with you.
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  I stalk you, I harass you. I pop up at your job.
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  I send you these emails. I send you these text messages.
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  That's me showing you that I love you.
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  That's all you need, right? You took me back by doing this.
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  So why would you expect more from me?
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  You took me back by just showing up and stalking you and send you
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  text messages. There was no changed behavior.
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  I stalked you. I harassed you.
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  I split. I put fear into your heart.
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  You thought. You thought that fear was love.
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  It's not love. It's fear.
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  You scared of me? We'll leave.
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  Maybe I'm just scared of how much I love them.
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  No, no. That's Michael Scott said that
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  he's like you. Just Maybe you're just scared
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  how much you love me. No.
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  No, that fear is not love. Coercion is not love.
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  Force is not love. Love is love.
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  Love is an action. Love is a verb.
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  Love takes is a deep emotional connection.
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  It's just not physically being here.
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  I love you. I'm here, aren't I?
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  No. Who to give?
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  Who gives a fuck? If you're here, what are you
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  doing? Your body is here.
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  Like I can get it. I can go get a a damn blow up
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  doll that's here. I get it.
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  I can go get a damn scarecrow and put it in the front yard if
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  it's all it takes for a damn for you to be for being here.
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  I can go get a damn scarecrow, Jeepers creeper scarecrow and
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  put it in my goddamn living room and they will be here as well.
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  And I said got. I didn't say GODI said got damn.
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  So don't go hop in my comments as you leave.
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  You lose with your Lord's name in vain.
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  I didn't say that. Listen, but it's a space that so
• 10:54
  many people fall into right there.
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  Love is a yeah. It's a verb.
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  Show me that you love me by showing up by being here.
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  Let's connect deeply, deeply and emotionally.
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  Let's sit and talk about our feelings.
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  Let's connect. I got something I got.
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  I got something you can feel. Don't pull your pull your pants
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  up. Pull your pants up.
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  I got something you can feel. Right.
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  I can show you my I'm going to show you my feelings right here.
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  No, we don't get pants up. Show me your feelings.
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  But it's talking. No.
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  Hell no. Come on, y'all.
• 11:22
  We got to wake up the rest of 2025.
• 11:24
  We got to work with the day after Christmas.
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  I hope y'all had a great Christmas.
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  Even if you didn't have a great Christmas.
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  Wake up if you had a yet another.
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  Yeah, if you had yet another bad Christmas with this toxic,
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  narcissistic bastard. Now we got to wake up.
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  What are you expecting to be different in 2025?
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  It didn't happen in 2024. What are you expecting to be
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  different? I need to hear.
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  I need to know it. You know what I'm saying?
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  Stop hoping for change. Stop praying for change and
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  actually change it. You can change what you do.
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  Ran over y'all I love y'all I do y'all y'all I need, y'all need
• 12:03
  Big Brother Lee out here. I'm Big Brother Lee out here to
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  just set your right sometimes y'all because I care.
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  I show you that I care. You see that these are actions.
• 12:11
  This is me taking action, telling you I'm in therapy, I'm
• 12:14
  working to myself. I'm taking those my therapy, I'm
• 12:16
  teaching y'all. And hopefully, hopefully, if a
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  narcissist is watching this, go get help.
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  Be better. Don't just say I'm be better.
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  Go do this shit and stop talking about it.
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  Do it. Be about it.
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  Be about the change. You keep saying I'm going to
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  show you. When do we do?
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  Better go do the shit then. Stop.
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  Stop lying. Stop lying to yourself.
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  Stop lying to everybody else. Damn.
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  Huh. Yeah.
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  Show up, y'all. They have to show up.
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  They need to show up. They have to.
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  And you have to show up for yourself.
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  If they're not giving you the love you need, you have to give
• 12:52
  it to yourself. You have to.
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  You have to work extra hard to love yourself when you're in a
• 12:55
  toxic narcissistic relationship. You have to.
• 12:58
  Well, it's not fair. Yeah.
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  And I know it ain't fair. Life ain't fair.
• 13:04
  Life ain't fair. But you got the power to change
• 13:08
  your life little by little. Little by little.
• 13:10
  Some people can make massive changes immediately.
• 13:13
  It's a blessing to be able to do that.
• 13:15
  But sometimes it's a blessing to be able to make changes slowly
• 13:18
  because to me, slow change lasts longer that that slow,
• 13:23
  consistent changes in your behavior, it lasts longer.
• 13:25
  That's why I've been. Yeah, I've been working myself
• 13:26
  for seven years. I still got a lot of I still got
• 13:28
  a lot of work to do, but I'm proud of me.
• 13:31
  I'm proud of my growth. I love myself.
• 13:34
  I'm working on myself. Y'all y'all know I got for
• 13:37
  Christmas yesterday my wife got my wife was like are we doing
• 13:39
  gifts this year? You want anything like y'all
• 13:41
  don't have heart, heart, heart. I don't condition people not to
• 13:44
  buy me nothing because it's not that I don't appreciate it, but
• 13:46
  she knows that buy me no gifts, but like look what you got, but
• 13:48
  you got a little necklace. You know what I'm saying?
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  This is my little necklace. Tell us me I'm always wearing
• 13:54
  this. It'll always be on.
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  It's just so it's so good to see them smile.
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  See my kids smiles. My wife smiles.
• 13:59
  See everybody happy, my Mama, everybody happy.
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  That's good. I'm grateful.
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  I'm grateful for y'all as well. I'm just hoping y'all win.
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  Y'all hoping. Like they got to show up.
• 14:08
  They got to do more than just showing up.
• 14:10
  And just like, hey, I love you are now I'm here, aren't I?
• 14:12
  Yeah, you here. But what are you doing?
• 14:13
  You're you're here, but you're abusive.
• 14:14
  The hell? What the hell good does it do
• 14:16
  me? Yeah, you're here, but you're
• 14:18
  you're yelling at me. Yeah, you're here, but you're
• 14:20
  screaming at me. Yeah, you're here, but you're
• 14:22
  beating on me and you're just cheating on me.
• 14:23
  You're lying to me. What the hell are you doing?
• 14:25
  Show me. Don't just be here.
• 14:27
  Show me that you love me by loving me.
• 14:31
  Show me that you love me by actual actually loving me, not
• 14:34
  by sitting here saying this bullshit and just oh, I'm here
• 14:37
  or not, OK, OK, you're here or not you.
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  Now you're over there. I can love you from a distance.
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  I love you, but I can love you from a distance.
• 14:45
  But I'm not going to waste another second, another ounce of
• 14:48
  me pouring love into you and I'm not getting back.
• 14:51
  There's no reciprocity here. They're not going to
• 14:53
  reciprocate. You don't.
• 14:54
  When you this, this. That's kind of the cost of being
• 14:55
  in a toxic relationship, right? It's a wasted investment.
• 14:58
  You don't get out. You don't get out of it.
• 15:00
  What you put in. You don't.
• 15:02
  It's like pouring money. You pour money into a flip house
• 15:05
  that just. You keep finding stuff.
• 15:07
  You keep unearthing things that are wrong with the flip house,
• 15:09
  right? You keep unearthing things like
• 15:12
  who cares if they're here? Who cares if they're here?
• 15:14
  I know some of y'all. Yeah, We haven't been any
• 15:16
  issues. I get it.
• 15:16
  I definitely understand. I'm not trying to chastise you.
• 15:18
  I promise I'm not. But who cares if they're here if
• 15:20
  they're not showing you anything?
• 15:22
  Yeah, you're not. Yeah, you're not alone, but
• 15:25
  you're lonely. Don't let that go over your
• 15:29
  head. You might not be alone, but
• 15:32
  you're lonely, Lonely, lonely. Yay, yay.
• 15:35
  I'm the lone. Look, I'm the lonely.
• 15:38
  The I'm the lonely that is doing this stuff right here y'all.
• 15:43
  But anyways, y'all, I'm appreciate it with y'all so
• 15:44
  much. I hope you had a great
• 15:45
  Christmas. This episode went on a little
• 15:47
  bit longer. I told you I'm doing 2 episodes
• 15:49
  a day now, not 3, not 4. I was overwhelming.
• 15:51
  I was literally overwhelming myself doing so many episodes.
• 15:54
  My head was hurt. But I'm super thankful for
• 15:56
  y'all. Make sure you hit the subscribe
• 15:57
  button. I'm grateful, I'm thankful.
• 15:59
  Love y'all. Take care of yourselves, take
• 16:01
  care of each other as always y'all.
• 16:03
  Let the hell is up. Peace.
• 16:05
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 16:07
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
• 16:10
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 16:12
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
• 16:14
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
• 16:16
  another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 16:18
  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 16:21
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 16:23
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 16:25
  video. Peace.