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Why We Paused For A Bit: Celebrating Life in the Midst of Such Loss · All About The Joy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy the podcast version.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm Carmen Miesette, your host, and let me start off with an apology yes, we are a day late in posting the episode and the reason why.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: First, let me back up and say I know that this is becoming something because people reached out to me when the podcast episode didn't drop on Sunday as it normally does, so thank you for that.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It makes it feel like a real thing.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: It's not that I think this is a hobby, but I feel doing the live stream on Thursday nights with Rick Costa and also all of our friends who are joining in and guests that we have, is something that I need to be doing because it is part of who I am.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I love Hollywood, I love this town, I love performing, I love being around people, and so this was my way of manifesting all of that by just taking control of it.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I was like maybe there's going to be one or two friends of mine who are listening in on the podcast, but I realize now that so many of you are being so supportive, so thank you.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I do not have a huge staff of people, so I did post that I would be taking a pause this week I did not post something on the podcast, so my apologies.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: In the future I will do better.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: But let me also just say that the reason that I took the pause is because I lost a family member this past Monday.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: If you have ever read my book not that I'm promoting that at the moment, but if you did read my book, I talk about the Lowell's as the chapter heading.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I believe it's like page 93.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Their real name is the Martins, and the twins, mary and Joanne, are friends of mine who I grew up with in grammar school and in high school and their parents became my godparents.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I think it was sophomore year in high school.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I asked them to be my godparents because I had never been baptized.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not very religious and I wasn't back then either, but it was part of needing a connection and also it was for me.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: It was becoming officially part of family in some way, shape or form, and they were always just there for me.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And Patty Ann, who is the oldest, passed away unexpectedly last Monday.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It was heart-wrenching and sad and this is someone I loved and it's just an interesting dynamic that happens and I have to tell you and yeah, my Boston accent has become a little bit more pronounced this week because I was around so many Bostonians.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: It was awesome.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Even I could hear my accent change.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: That was like at one point I just started laughing out loud because I could hear my Rs just disappearing within 20 minutes.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: It was hilarious.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But I took a pause this week because I had to and I don't feel bad about it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I hope in the future that when I have a bigger staff or we have the ability money-wise to hire more people, maybe we'll do a better job of just posting something when we have to take a pause.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: But please know you can always go to wwwaatjoycom, which is all about the joycom, and you can check out our Instagram.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: You can check out Facebook, linkedin.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'll always have posted something like a little poster that says where we're at, at the very very least.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: So I do apologize to podcast listeners who did not know where I was or what was happening, but thank you for reaching out to me because it did make me feel like, oh my God, other people are listening.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: So yes, Patti Ann passed away unexpectedly on Monday.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I flew out immediately and was there for most of the week and I just got back a minute ago.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: So I am now doing this with no sleep whatsoever, so you can hear it in my voice, but I want to make sure I posted something, because I did get some emails and some text messages.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So thank you for your concern.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I am fine and the family is okay.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: And here's what I learned and here is what I love.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: It was a sad, unexpected situation and her birthday had been on Sunday.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: She passed away on Monday.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: We all know that she's in a better place.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: That's what we all know and believe and she's with mom and dad and, uh, I think there's some happiness in that and even though there was so much sadness, it was beautiful to see all of her nieces and nephews, the cousins, who all get along so well, all the kids who just love each other.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: After the ceremony, memorial service I don't wanna call it a church service because it really wasn't a church service, but after all that was done and there was sadness or whatever we went and had food together and we all ended up dancing and singing to music and I at one point was because I'm not a big drinker, I'm a lightweight.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Anyone who knows me like I was drinking wine coolers.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: So at one point I was just sitting there watching at the, you know, from a stool at the bar, and I was watching these kids, these millennials but mostly Gen Z, you know like on that cusp, and they knew every Motown song.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: They knew every song of Donna Summer, which was a big favorite of hers.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: They knew all of these old school songs of their auntie and I don't know why that shook me so much.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: They were like you know, no, no, no, put this song on.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, do this one next.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: And it was so lovely.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: At one point I felt like it was going in slow motion.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I was watching kind of this beautiful sparkliness of all of them laughing and singing and praising and loving on their aunt Patty and their sister, and it was just so amazing and I thought to myself that is what life is all about.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Right, life is, as we all know, this amazing journey, and I'm not gonna say that life is short.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I'm so sick of that cliche Because you know what, sometimes life feels really long.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes it feels like, oh, my goodness, can we get through this day?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: But I think we've all just keep hearing this like life is short.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Life is short, but you know what, life is pretty magnificent and when you're doing life right, it has these moments of sheer sadness, sheer anger, joy, happiness.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: It just has its ebbs and flows and what I noticed for myself, the most important part for me is being around people who love fiercely.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know everybody who was friends with Patty Ann and with her husband Paul, and I didn't know everybody there.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I'd met them.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I've met people briefly, because when mom passed away I was there as well, and so I met some of these people.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: But there were other people there as well.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: But what was amazing was it didn't matter.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I did know that right, because there was such an infusion of gratitude and memory sharing and acceptance, because we were all there for a common reason.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And I started thinking about just how life has this amazing way of making us walk through so many different feelings and so many different moments.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And it's not those moments that matter as much.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: It's the moments in between and how you're able to move along anyway that matters.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: And that's what I realized right.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Who we are is always tested, not in the easiest of moments.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: It's really simple to be a great and wonderful human being when you have everything you need, but who are you when things are hard, right?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: How do you help another person, even if you're in pain?
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: How do you climb out of a situation?
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Do you pull others up or do you pull them down into your sorrow?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And all I saw was people trying to help each other walk through this moment and get to the other side and try to find joy anyway.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: And look at, there's gonna be a lot of bumps along the way after this, because she was 59, way too young.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: It should have never happened.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: And there's going to be moments of pain and sorrow.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: My mom passed away I don't even know.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Now 40 years, and I have moments of anger and sadness and then moments of elation and joy.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: And we're talking it's 40 years already, right, so I'm not saying it's gonna be easy now, but what I do know for sure is all about the joy really is a thing, and sometimes, even when I doubt myself, I am reminded that the reason why I am able to still be here today is because, no matter what has happened in my life, no matter what moments have brought me down, I have always been able to be lifted up by beautiful, amazing people.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: The Martins, for sure, are a big part of that from my childhood and I love them so much and I love this life that we're on and how we're trying to walk through this pathway.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I feel so blessed to be able to share some of my stories with people because I hope in some way, shape or form, it uplifts you too and it makes you think that even if you think you're alone that you're not, you don't need an abundance of people to walk you through, you just need one.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And even if you don't have that one person and this I do remember as a kid as well then you find it in other ways.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: You find it in a favorite movie, or you find it in a favorite song you love, or you find it in a piece of literature that you read over and over and over again.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I used to read the Alchemist I still do and the Prophet.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I used to read these books over and over and over again because they gave me such strength, they gave me such possibility and for a while there they were the only things I could hold on to.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And you walk yourself through the moments of hardship and you find your way through, and then you make yourself available to other people until you find your people.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: You find your people, because we all have people.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: We all have the ability to have people.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, patti and I love you so much.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: To the Martins, who I've loved my whole life, thank you for having me and for letting me be part of your life and this moment, and I will always be here for you, no matter what.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: And to all of the Martins friends and families and all the people I met and all the people whose names I forgot that had met before.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you for your hugs and your love and your acceptance and your joy.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: And listen to everyone else out there who is listening to the podcast that drops usually.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize people were listening to it on Sunday mornings at 6am.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: But thank you, I appreciate you so much and I will always try to even just write a little five minute thing of something like this happens again.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I'll do a little audio version as well.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I didn't think anyone would even miss it.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: So thank you for your understanding and my apologies, and for those of you who are visiting us on the live stream, thank you so much.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Thursday nights, 6pm Pacific time, and I am just grateful to be here.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: So have a blessed and beautiful day.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I really, really mean it in this moment.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Please remember, it really is all about the joy.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Thanks for stopping by.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: All about the joy Be better and stay beautiful folks.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Have a sweet day.