Latest / Curious Cat - where science & supernatural collide / Liminal Goddesses and Encountering Time Travelers with Pete the Blue-Collar Spiritualist

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Liminal Goddesses and Encountering Time Travelers with Pete the Blue-Collar Spiritualist · Curious Cat - where science & supernatural collide

• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: Jesse right now has on his Isaiah the Devil Curious Cat shirt.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm very happy.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: Podcast wife.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: That was very good.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: I did that for you, Jen, but Pete's wearing a he's wearing the dude.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Dude.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_05: I know.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_05: I literally am like my dad is going, yes, from the other side.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_05: And I need my Folgers.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_05: I have this candle that somebody made me that is in a Folgers coffee can because he was, you know, that's where his ashes are.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_05: He was like, Jen, you gotta order me a coffee can that before he died.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_05: You know, he's like, get me a coffee can for Folgers, um, like caffeinated, not decaf, because decaf is for, you know, and he said things I'm not gonna say here, but he's like, get it caffeinated, gotta be red, it's gotta be from da da da da da.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_05: And of course, I found one on eBay that my dad approved of, and it came from Spokane, Washington, which is where my dad was born.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_05: So the whole thing was so full circle perfect.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_05: Donnie was a surfer.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: He surfed the peaches in Lahoya.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, what movie is that?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's from Big Fantastic.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_05: I've only watched it once.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: The first place I went, like when I moved to LA, the first place I went was the bowling alley.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: That was literally the first.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: That was that's the first spot I rolled into.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Did you ever did you ever hear the conspiracy theory that like Donnie isn't even a uh alive?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like a what he's like a figment of his imagination.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I've no that so resonates.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_05: Now I need to watch it again.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_05: I've only watched it once because when my dad had me, he was so disappointed in me.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, you know, it's a reference to the big Lebowski, that's why I'm having you do this, right?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_05: And I went, I had no idea.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_05: I was just doing what you wanted as you're dying, you know, because I love you, most of all your children.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_05: And um, he goes, No, you got to watch the movie.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_05: And so then he was so disappointed because then I watched it off his Amazon.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_05: He was in hospice, and no, he was in palliative care.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_05: He wasn't even released from the hospital yet.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_05: And he all of a sudden I get this text, he goes, You only watched 20%, and then you turned it off.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_05: So he could, because he could see my progress because I was using his.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, Fuck you, dad.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_05: I was busy.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_05: I'm busy crying my face off that you're dying.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_05: And so then after he died and I had him in the Folgers can, you know, he's in um uh Fort Bragg in his Folgers can.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I watched the whole movie and I went, oh my god, all the jokes make sense.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_05: I get the cultural references.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally, it's it's literally like a Dashell Hammett story that, you know, that's like uh it's hey Pete, can we just jump right into the weird waters right off the back?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you want to get into.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, so last night I went to a salt cave, and it was this group experience.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, it was like strangers, right?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: I went with my neighbor, Terry.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_05: She invited me, and um, we know each other, but we're not super close.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_05: You know, we're close, you're friends, but I don't haven't known her that long.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_05: But she invited me to go, so I didn't want to let her down.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_05: And I went and there were like maybe 12 or 13 people, and there was this big salt cave, and the theme to it was supposed to be like freedom, just basically the freedom to breathe.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_05: And it was all this breath work that we were doing, and she kept using this metaphor of like being in a meadow, and then we were gonna quicken our breath and inhale and exhale with no pause, where you almost feel like you're gonna faint, but you're doing fine, and you're going up a mountain.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_05: And then at the peak of the mountain, she has us do this very deep exhale, and she literally said, It's like it's your last breath on earth.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_05: And she said, You're gonna be shocked at what comes out of you, but don't be shocked.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_05: I'm telling you, it could, it's gonna be very emotional, and then I'm gonna get really quiet.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_05: So then we were at the top of the mountain, and there were the exhales.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_05: We all have eye masks on so that we have this privacy, and everybody's like from their gut, right?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_05: It's almost like when childbirth, like you're just like pushing out the baby, kind of energy.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_05: And there was weeping, there was laughter, there were words, there were like, fuck you, there was I forgive you, like everybody's having their experiences throughout the salt cave, and I'm having my experience as well.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_05: But I had dedicated my breath work in this evening to the Morrigan because I've been working with her so closely.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_05: And I told her, I'm my belly's full of blood, show me a different face.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_05: And so she gave me this amazing experience of like all of these souls, all these faces came forward to me and just had me in this giant group hug.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_05: And I was just weeping with gratitude.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I'm so honored to know you.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_05: And I looked at their faces and I realized it was all the souls that I had crossed, I've been crossing over through the last few years.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_05: And then after that, then you know, my dad came forward, my my other dad came forward.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_05: They were beautiful experiences.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_05: And um, but then and then at the end, the last person that came forward for me, the whole room had gone through this like cathartic, emotional, raw experience.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_05: And um, and then for and then it got quiet, and everybody was still within themselves, but quiet with their experience.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_05: And all of a sudden, my this giant man came toward me and just wrapped me in this super big bear hug.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_05: And it was this young man that I crossed over, who's about 27 or 28, and he um he had murdered somebody.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_05: And when he came to ask me to cross him over, he said, um, I was really a bad man in in life, and I did this bad thing, and you know, because you helped my the victim cross over, but I'm wondering if you would cross me over.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_05: So this was like a year and a half ago.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Yes, but I'm sick, so you'll have to wait on the porch till I feel better.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_05: So this was that young man because then later I went on the porch and I crossed him over.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_05: So this was the last piece of my salt cave experience.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_05: And he just wrapped me in a bear hug and he said, Thank you for helping me believe that I was more than that lifetime and that one act, and that you know, thank you for helping me have this peace.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_05: I said, Thank you for teaching me that we're not all good, we're not all bad, and that it we're all and if to love one person is to love everyone, and that means everyone where they're at.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_05: And uh, so I said, I'm still learning the lessons from you.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_05: So that was the last experience I had.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_05: So here's where I need your help because I left the experience.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_05: My neighbor, Terry, was like, chop chop, little onion, she's a director like thing.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_05: Let's get in the car, it's time to go home.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_05: And um, and we left and we came home and I got out of the car with her, and I have this mark on my arm.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_05: And it's like, um, you probably can't see it, but I drew it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_05: It's like three dots like Orion's belt, and then there's like three little offshoot stars right here that come off of Orion's belt.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_05: So that's the shape of the mark on my arm that I was left with.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_05: Nothing, I wasn't wearing jewelry.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't have a long sleeve shirt.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_05: I was it's a part of my arm by my I didn't have even my watch on, nothing.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_05: And I wasn't, I was always like this, um, holding the energy.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_05: So it wasn't even resting on the zero gravity chair.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_05: So, does that resonate with any of your star work?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, I don't know if you looked at I sent you stuff on.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_05: No, I haven't I haven't seen it yet.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so what's really interesting, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, should I look at it while you're talking to me, or should I 10 if you want?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, no.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_05: I want to hear.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so we were talking about, or I think I talked to you about the star um Alcade.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I looked at your chart and to see what fixed stars you interact with.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you actually interact with the fixed star Alcade?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_05: That's in the Orion's belt.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's actually the Big Dipper.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_05: In the Big Dipper, Ursa Major.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's the last star in the Big Dipper, and that star is dedicated to like grieving, and like so it's called Ursula Major, and you people associate it with the bear.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also they call Alcade the Daughters of Bear.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So bear, B-I-E-R, is actually um comes from it's what they used to call like basically coffins.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's where the word bear actually comes from, and that's probably where Paul Bearer comes from.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: But that makes so much sense.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: So Alcade is basically like a fixed star dedicated to like mourning.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_05: Oh wait, I'm reading it as you're telling me.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_05: And grief, yeah.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, and it's also it's conjuncture Pluto, which is boot Pluto to me actually represents death and like transformation.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_05: And wait, what does being in conjunction with?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Does that mean in relation to basically like when anything conjuncts?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So like Pluto is about death, transformation, um, you know, rebirth.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh think of like people, so like right now America's going through its Pluto return.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's like you kind of like bring up all the things that you need to look at before you can like die and be reborn.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um like I always like the story.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you're familiar with like um the story of Osiris, the Egyptian um I love Osiris actually.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_05: I really love him.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_05: I love Anubis as well.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So Osiris' story is basically his brother Set um kills him and then cuts him into little pieces and scatters them aro around Egypt, and Isis kind of finds all his pieces, puts them back together, and then he's reborn, and then he becomes, he doesn't go back to being king, he becomes the like guardian of the underworld, basically, and then he and Isis have a child that is Horus, who is like basically Jesus, and he Horace comes back and takes the throne back from Seth.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: The thing I love about it is that like basically, you know, when you take apart all the pieces and kind of look at every aspect of yourself, that's when you kind of see everything, you know, see yourself more completely.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then like when you're reborn and you go through that death, you know, they make him in the mythology, they make him like the guardian or the king or the um I like guardian of the underworld.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's basically like he understands death now, so he becomes like the guardian of like helping people through the death process.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's a common motif in uh planting culture, like you know, like Egypt, you know, the Nile and the Nile floods, and like re you know, the the land is reborn, and so it, you know, it's it's that that sort of culture.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_05: Well, and and and Jess uh Jesse, you don't know, but Pete, I I've been um texting with him on Substack, and I was like, I just keep getting this, like, I don't know, this fiery red star.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_05: It's this blood red, and I don't know if the Morgan is making something that's supposed to be important to me, highlighting it in blood red, because you know, I keep telling her my belly's full of blood, but she's showing me color red in other places.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_05: But then um, so does and you said located in the constellation Scorpius.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's so that's your what's that?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's Antares, which uh conjuncts your sun.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, and how is that important?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Antares actually, so I have um in my chart, Antares conjuncts um Uranus and Jupiter.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's like the heart of the scorpion, so it has like this to me, the Antares energy is very like um warrior meets kind of like self-sacrifice.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and like I think uh Gandhi actually had Antares conjunct Jupiter, which I have too.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: But um it's kind of like the self-sacrificing warrior.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: It it always martyr, it's a warrior-martyr situation.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: When I used to work with it, I would have dreams of me like charging into the battlefield and like giving my life for some cause.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, uh, but I wanted to touch back on Al Qaeda too, is so think about it.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, that placement for you is that through like grieving or honoring grieving or helping people pass, it conjuncts your Pluto, so that would cause you like transformation.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: So like dealing with like what you're doing now is gonna help you kind of have more transformation in your life because you're you're having those interactions.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, which has been totally true, and that it really resonates with what happened in the salt cave last night because this young man, he's like, I just I didn't think that I was worthy of being crossed into the light.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_05: And and you said everybody's worthy of it.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_05: And and you had one question for me.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_05: You said, Did you apologize to her?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_05: And he told me on the porch that night, he goes, That's why I died so early, is I really needed to go apologize to her.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_05: And um, he said that was the only question you had.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_05: And then you're like, We're good, but it was inappropriate of you to because it was four knocks on my front door in the dead of night during a storm.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_05: That's why I went to the front door and I found his spirit there.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_05: That's how that all happened.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, that was kind of inappropriate.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_05: Usually it works out like it, it's different.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sleeping and our higher selves have worked it out.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_05: He was like, Okay, and I said, So he was like, So how do I make it right?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, you're just gonna have to wait here.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_05: I have a little cold, so I gotta feel better and I have to do it on my own terms.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_05: So it was kind of funny our interaction, but he it like he was telling me at the end at the salt cave, and I'm not gonna cry, I swear, it's only 20 minutes in, but um, he was like, I just didn't think I was worthy of being crossed over.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_05: And you were like, everybody's worthy.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and I was honored that you asked me and that we worked it out, and so he really is like his lessons keep teaching me.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_05: It's like I had this experience with this rattlesnake that Jesse, you've got to be so sick of hear it, bestie.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_05: But um, the rattlesnake was dying on the mountain, and here I am.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_05: The minute I heard that it was happening and it was up ahead, I'm like, I'm weeping for the snake because it was like a guardian of the Morrison formation.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like also reincarnation and rebirth.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole snake motif.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: The like the Ouroboros, the Ouroboros, the snake sheds its skin.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_05: It's my life right now.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: If you if you if you take it away from well, you know, if you take it to if you take it to Hindu, to to Indian mythology versus like what we typically think about it in Western mythology, because in Western mythology, it's a devil, it's a tempter, it's a whatever.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: But no, they they And I really don't resonate with they're they're reverent uh of that of that in that culture, which makes sense.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_05: And the Buddhists were reverent as well because the snake would eat um, you know, some of the predators or like rats to keep the rat population at bay so that they could keep their um you know community healthy.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm here, I'm weeping to Pink Floyd on the mountain.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_05: I'm weeping my face off, and people are like seeing my visceral emotional reaction to this snake dying.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, okay, and I got to this fork in the path, in the hiking path.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_05: And it was like, I could have gone the red rocks trail, which is below it parallels, but it's below what was happening, or I could do the Morris information and choose to go up and and be what the snake needed me to be on the mountain as it was passing.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, I choose to have that experience, and I know that I need to have this experience, and I'm supposed to, and that is another experience that is still resonating with me.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um, it's just been quite a week, and then you tell me this.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_05: It's like, I actually I think that every time I choose to lean into the discomfort of grieving and honoring the passing and this in-between, the snake was not dead, and then I was standing there vigil and crying and praying for it as the guy did the merciful thing and he killed the snake because it was suffering.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I'm kind of I don't know, I still have lessons, I'm still a student of life, there's no doubt.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_05: But it's been a very interesting um course that I've been on this last couple of weeks.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think just to speak to all that, is that I don't know necessarily when or what's the criteria, but I think the more you're kind of on your spiritual journey and you kind of decondition yourself and kind of work through things, I think we come to a point where we're not only doing things for ourselves, we're doing them for the collective.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, like if if your purpose is kind of helping people deal with grief or teaching people how to acknowledge grief and kind of work through mourning and um helping people pass, I think there comes a point where you start kind of maybe working with that energy in a collective way.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: It might show up as a rattlesnake, it might show up as a man who murdered somebody, like, but I think it's you kind of working with that energy on a collective level.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_05: That makes me feel so less alone in this.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_05: You know, it can feel a little isolating, so actually that's kind of comforting.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean, I know that I picked up I pick up on a lot of collective energies, and sometimes I'll have dreams that they're it's not even me, and I'm like feeling experiences or like maybe picking up other people's sufferings, or and they feel like somebody else's, like you know during the experience that's somebody else's thing, but I'm helping them.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'll have like an experience that doesn't make it has like no real connection to me.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll have a dream where I live like a full experience as somebody else.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've been having a lot of them lately, actually.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think the more I work on myself, this is my experience.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not this is how I feel, it doesn't mean I'm right or wrong, but right, it's your experience.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like the more I work on myself, the more I have dreams like that where I'm kind of picking up on some sort of collective theme.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think there's a lot of stuff coming up with like masculinity and like how that's viewed, and like what real masculinity is and kind of what we were conditioned to believe it is.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: So like I'll have like themes connected to that.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or like sexuality.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, so I think like you're probably tapped tapping into dealing with, you know, and I think anybody who's connected to the spirit realm or has mediumship abilities is connected to grief in some form or another.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_05: I think they have to be.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_05: It's part of the process, isn't it?
• 22:24
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's just a transformation, is what it is.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, like the back to the even the star, that star is all about like honoring grief, which like I feel like we don't really do it as a society, especially like Western society.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're expected to like, you know, your mom dies and you're supposed to be back at work the next week, and it's like exactly.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've had grief, you know, I've had grief show up ten years later, you know, like where like I s I remember one time I saw a friend's like a car that a friend that I that passed just drove past me and I like had this like immense grief just show up because it reminded me of her.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's yeah, I don't know.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it can immediately transport you to that that other place.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, yeah, absolutely.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's like a time traveling mechanism in a way, isn't it?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_05: For sure.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_05: That is so true.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's you know, there's so many, you know, it's like you're seeing I think the biggest aspect of grief that people don't understand, especially when it's somebody close to you, it's like people you love are kind of reflections for you.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or they tend to see like if you're in a loving relationship with somebody, you know, partner, friend, whoever, somebody sees you through love or like the eyes of love, and then you lose that reflection when they die.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you're not only grieving them, you're grieving the version of yourself that like was seen through love, where somebody actually like accepted you for who you are.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_05: Jesse, we're was I just talking to you about Rom Das, and this is so resonant because we were before we were on um, we were recording, before you joined us, I was like, because he's trying to figure out who this third kind of goddess, god type figure in his life is, and he doesn't have a name for it yet or anything, and he knows that working with these cards will kind of make that clearer to him.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm playing clue, like I haven't figured out who uh but I was like, I don't know.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_05: I keep getting Rom Das.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like Romdas, like what experiences are you having?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I okay, so um so our friend Rachel told me she did a reading for me, um, and she used her card deck that she created.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Two of the uh card representations are um is titania in the map.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: They have roots in real like culture and goddesses and things like that, but they've were also they also sort of became like uh they're in a lot of fiction, you know, they're fairy queens and the you know, the whole deal.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have always been fascinated with the concept of like the triple goddess, you know, like that Celine, you know, Diana or Artemis, and like uh, you know, um Hecate.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Hagate.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: There you go, thank you.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh so it sort of struck me, I was like, okay, it makes sense in my brain that there's a third point between the two of those uh characters that supposedly I resonate with in like a shamanistic way.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to figure out who number three is.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do you know also the Morgan is also a triple goddess?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which is which is who who which is who Jen is like primarily working with now.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, it's just we've been going hard for sure.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you've been going hard, but uh the fact that she's already a triple goddess, you know what I mean?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like sort of I I don't think she's the connection, uh the the third one, you know, but you're yeah, it but but that's I did think about that too, because like she has like the three faces, and like so do those other three, you know, and um they're separate, but they're connected, and you know, so um I'm trying to figure out who the third is.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want out of like what are you looking for out of the connection?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know yet.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna be completely honest with you.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know because um the shamanism thing is new to me, and uh the the the idea, the concept of having guides is is very new to me.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've always like I said, I've always I've always resonated with that, you know, with that triple goddess, you know, that because of the you know the Greek and Roman stuff, you know, and um I and I and that's always been primarily in my head, you know.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so like now I'm like, okay.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: But like I feel like I'm being directed towards like this new thing, and I don't know what it is yet, and I don't know how it connects, and I'm I'm literally at the beginning of the journey figuring out.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um but like what do you what do you want out of like connecting in general?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, or like what's your goal?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: What's my goal?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or I don't like using that, but like you know what I'm saying?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like kind of like what's your point?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: General general guidance piece, um, connection with nature and with the you know the stars, the sky, the moon, the you know, everything, you know.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um basically like uh a point of of spiritual and metaphysical focus, I I guess is is what I can say about it now.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: What about Lilith?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Contender, yeah, obviously contender, yeah.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I see her as a three-pointed goddess, too.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm gonna do that.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: I have never thought of her that way.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: I see like three horns.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: And she's very um I mean Hecate Morgan and Lilith to me are very similar with just like a different tone.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Lilith is a little more like um, I guess I don't like this word, but spicier, I guess.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, like Hecate and Morgan feel very similar.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Hecate feels like more maybe confrontational to me, or like um sharper.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the Morgan feels a little more darker to me, like in a sense, not dark, like bad, more dark, like shadowy.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I get that too.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Everything Jen's telling me about her experiences, I get that.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, that I mean they're I don't know yet.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, you know, but I I I don't know that that it's all new to me.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're two characters I've never even really thought about before.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but Pete, isn't Lilith connected to a constellation or a is it a comet?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, an uh asteroid.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Black Moon.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: No, a Black Moon Lilith.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_05: Black Moon Lilith.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know much about that?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_05: I'm putting you on the spot totally right now, but it's something I've always got.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's more of like um, I think it kind of has to do with like your shadow.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like where you don't feel on the spot, man, because this is the church I'm hearing in this.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, I have no idea.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know it has to do with like your shadow kind of and like sexuality and like both of them kind of combined.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know enough about it.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know mine's in Capricorn.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know that.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_05: So it's very grounded in earth energy.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it's like uh, yeah, but Capricorn, like the shadow of Capricorn could be like domineering or like uh, you know, I think like grind, like pushing the limit type energy, like the goat, you know, always climbing.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I wanted to say one thing to to Hecate.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Hecate is considered like her own thing too, because she's not actually considered a goddess, she's considered like a titan, which is a little different.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I didn't know that Greek mythology.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love her energy.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, tell us about this because you've worked with her.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: So she was the first one of the goddesses that I've worked with, where I'm gonna call her a goddess, but yeah, somebody told me that she's actually not a goddess.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's considered a titan, and she does feel like on a different level to me than the other goddesses I've worked with.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I do a lot of things with her, but when I first connected to her, I she was the first like being that actually kind of I want to say shook me a little bit.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: How so?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like I was meditating and like I wasn't even trying to connect with anybody specifically or new or anything.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she came in and it like took my breath away.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it like knocked my breath out of my body and kind of it almost felt like a like a mini like ego death experience.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, uh, I don't know about this.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if I'm ready to work with this energy.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of felt very intimidating.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_05: And you did, but you leaned in.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, eventually.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: But like I think it was also like this was like it's funny, she came to me like kind of towards the beginning of me having experiences, yeah.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of pushed her away because I like you know, that was when I was still like kind of deconditioning from like religious programming and like thinking like I'm connecting to some dark entity or something.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, to get rid of all that dogma crap to make it a clean path between you and her.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I started actually I was just talking about her with one of my friends because she's somebody to me that acts very swiftly, sometimes to the point where people are surprised like how swift she is.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Dealing with like, you know, I'm gonna say depossession, but I don't think they're really demons.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's more thought forms.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: We can get into that whole thing, but um I would use her for like cutting, like cutting cords and stuff like that.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: So she started coming back to me when I was really getting into cord cutting and teaching people how to cord cut.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I would supplement this ritual that she gave me was I would go to a crossroads and offer an egg with some honey in a bowl.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like raw egg, honey, like a regular uh egg and an eggshell, egg.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I would put raw honey on top, and then I would put a put it in a bowl.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I I put it at the end of my driveway because that's considered a crossroad.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I didn't know that.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_05: That makes so much sense because I have a fairy tree right there at the end of my driveway.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I would offer her something like that and ask her for her help.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I would also supplement that with like if I'm trying to cut um parasitic energy, so say somebody you know is like it could be even friends, you know, obviously.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh energy vampires.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I would supplement it with black walnut oil.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: So black walnut oil um kills parasites physically, like in the 3D reality.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: So to do a parasite cleanse, you know, if you went to an herbalist, they would recommend black walnut oil.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: But black walnut oil is also used by voodoo and hoodoo for energy cleanses or like cord cutting.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I would set the intention, I would say, I'm gonna take black walnut oil and I'm gonna give you this offering.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to cut away anybody who's parasitic in my life.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_05: And I gave this ritual to a lot of people, like people that doesn't that I feel like there's no subtlety in that direction, though.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_05: It's almost too broad.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you could take that so far.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_05: Well, then all of a sudden you're standing alone.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_05: I think of that guy at the end of that Twilight Zone who has all the books to him and his glasses break.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_05: He wanted to be alone with his fucking books.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I mean, I don't like careful, yeah.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, like, I know people who had like bad remote.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I have a friend who like, I don't want to say their name.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right, but like uh they don't have consent to that, yeah.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_05: Which I like.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_05: I appreciate that.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they were in a bad relationship with somebody who was bothering them and stuff like that.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it was funny because they did this this ritual and the person was gone the next day, like never heard from them again.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they were complaining because they didn't realize like how much like they missed, like they fed into the exactly of being wanted still and all that.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like just like the the toxic relationship, you know.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so you always gotta be careful because she will cut people.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I say she's swift, and people sometimes I see this obsidian knife.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_05: I see this obsidian just slicing, you know.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_05: That's what I see when you explain it.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so she's very swift and she will cut, you know.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I say you gotta really know what you want before So, how did it feel after you did that?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_05: Like, and did you feel energy come back to you?
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_05: You're like, oh my god, I just feel like I cleansed and cleared everything.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so like I am uh I'm a generator in human design.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm too manifestor generator.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: So generators specifically, though, are very like it's we kind of feed a lot of people, yeah.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're the we're the generators, we're the energy.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you don't realize how many people you like feed, yeah, you know, and sometimes it's not um reciprocal, you know.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and it's not sustaining, it it's not sustaining.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_05: Well, last week I had this experience.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, Jesse, he's always my morning.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, what is happening to my life?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_05: But I had this download, and my guides were like, it seemed like a very simple dream that uh somebody at the store in my dream asked me to buy him a bag of sugar.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, Well, yeah, if you need a bag of sugar, I'm gonna buy it for you.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_05: And all of a sudden, this this person with a cloak on, I think of like a Jawa, you know, because I never saw their face.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_05: And they came up, they said, You don't mind if we mark you, do you?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_05: And then they pulled out my arm and they poked something into it, like this barcode thing, and they poked in my skin.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_05: And I woke up and I went, and then I went back to sleep because they also said, and you owe us 20 bucks.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_05: I went, What the fuck?
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, I'm not comfortable.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_05: I came back into the dream and I said, I'm not comfortable owing you anything.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_05: So I opened up my dream wallet, gave them a 20 bucks, and then I woke back up.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_05: So I wrote down the dream, and my guides were like, It's energy skimming.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_05: Everybody has all of these, you know, those skimming devices that they put on the credit card readers at gas stations and things.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_05: They're like, we've all done it.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_05: Good, bad, and ugly.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_05: We give to our local uh food bank, we help a friend, we, you know, we also have like people that are pinging us that we don't want their attention, you know.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_05: So there's all the in-betweens, but it's energy skimming.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_05: And they called it vampiric energy skimming.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_05: And they said, You think that you are cutting cords, ties, and tethers because they're the big stuff and you notice them, but you have thousands of these energy skimmers skimming off of you.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_05: So no wonder you're fucking exhausted at 8:30 in the morning.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you, Cooper.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_05: That's my dog, Cooper, weighing in.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_05: But um, so it just resonated with me.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_05: And so they said you just have to make a point of like you can do nice things for people, but then you have to say, I give this to you in love.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_05: I have no expectation of what you'll be doing with this or how it's received, and you cut your energy from it, and then um, so they've been slowly giving me back my energy from these thousands of different things that were made, done in love, but and you know, but also then there's the other stuff as well, but you're not as aware of it because it's so micro that it goes off your radar and you don't notice it until it's been like a thousand things.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, did you just hear your story?
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, I heard it.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of did you get what you just solved one of your problems?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_04: Did I?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, your arm.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what?
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good point.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: What the actual fuck.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_05: Because okay, this was the arm they took.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_05: They took my right arm and I woke up and went, okay, I they didn't mark me.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_05: That arm's fine, but it's this arm that it showed up on, and you know how it's showing up is as a bruise, and you know how a bruise doesn't show up the first day.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: What yeah, you you you just get the answer in a what you you basically got the answer before you got the mark that you're trying to answer, is what happens.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: Which takes us back to uh what Daniel was saying the other day about Daniel Rection.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we had Daniel Rection on, and he like he's been he's been going through and really trying to um it's amazing.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_05: First of all, it's Daniel Rection is such an exceptional human being, and I can say that to both of you too, because you are as well.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_05: But he is like very explicit about I don't have consent or I do have consent to share this.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_05: And he will always take a moment to say, I honor what you've shared with me.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for that.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_05: And he will, if he brings something forward, he's like, I got permission from my wife, for example, to share this dream in this way.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_05: And she wanted to preface this or whatever.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I don't know, it just and and he, but anyway, he is he's meticulously accounting for people's marks.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_05: And he goes, Yeah, sometimes they're because their seat cushion left marks on the butt, you know, but sometimes it is like legitimate, nothing was next to it, and it left a mark.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_05: And I didn't even think about it.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I wonder if the salt cave last night almost made the bruise come up faster, and that's why I associated with it.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: He Pete he was telling us that he has like a basically a theory where um that that the these marks are us in the future sending ourselves messages back in time and they manifest on your body.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_05: I'm dead right now.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and you needed to remind me that I forgot.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: I agree, I totally agree with that.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: I do too.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't I didn't agree until I heard him say, and I was like, oh, you know what?
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, uh that does sound like it maybe that may be a thing, you know.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, you gotta think about it, right?
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, everybody knows like the grandfather paradox or like what would happen if our future selves or whatever, like how could we how could we tell ourselves something without actually like telling ourselves something?
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, oh, and and like, oh my god, and so here's my future self going, you said you really wanted to remember the message in this dream, so here it is, and it was this searing heat mark.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_05: I you know what's interesting, I wonder if it's mirrored in the dream life or in the dreamscape, because it's the other arm than who what was grabbed from me in the dream.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: It could if you think about it, it's like it could be a mirror universe scenario, yeah.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: So why not?
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because if my if me, I'm right handed, if I grabbed an arm, it would be the the hand with my right arm, which would be if that that would be my left arm.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: Evil gen sent you a few.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Future message from the mirror universe.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: I love evil.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_05: I need to channel evil evil jet over there.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_05: I need that more shadow.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you you it's just you, but you have black hair over there.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're evil jet.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_05: And that brings us to this, is because I have it in the the Zoom title, so we would not forget.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_05: You have encountered time travelers.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, so I was just I was actually gonna try this today before I even got on, but I ran out of time.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's ironic.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so maybe I wasn't supposed to look at you, Jen.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: Making funnies.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I've only had these two experiences.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, two times in my life have I felt this way.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was walking through Manhattan.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'll get to the time travel.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: This guy, I don't know if he was actually a time traveler.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was walking through Manhattan, I work in Manhattan, and I don't know if you've ever had this experience, but I felt somebody like from across the street.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm talking busy Madison Avenue, Manhattan.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: I felt somebody from across the street, and uh he didn't say anything, but he turned and he looked at me.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we were probably like maybe a hundred feet away from each other, and I could feel like his like connection to me, you know, like I felt like this like energy cord from like my crown to like his crown.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: And he turned around, and he was a monk.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was like a monk, he was like in a shawl, he was like an Asian man, and he started walking towards me, and he he like went in, he didn't say anything, and he went in his pocket and he gave me like a Buddha.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: And he just said, This is for you, and he walked away.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was like, you know, probably this is probably like I don't know, 20 years ago, maybe probably more than that, 25 years ago.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: So about 10 years ago, I was at the Bronx Zoo with my family, and we're walking, right?
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I see this gentleman, probably similar distance, 60 feet maybe away from me, and he makes like I same thing.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel him, and he feels me.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can tell like the mutual connection.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, similar, it's very similar to like when I connect to spirit, like I feel like the connection.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it it's it feels maybe a little more physical, it's not as like airy feeling.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this like link made, and he like turns around, he looks like I could still see his face today, clear as day.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: I remember exactly what he looked like.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he was probably like 6'3, uh white hair, um kind of high, like similar face to me, right?
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like my cheeks, like that.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: And he he was I don't know if I said this, he's probably in his 70s, kind of slender built.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_00: He was wearing a white polo shirt and like pants.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he looked at me and we made this like connection, and I was like, I know this person, but I didn't know him.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know who he is, but I know this person.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like sitting in it, and there's all these crowds moving around, and we're just like it probably was like a second, but it felt like 20 minutes where we were just like looking at each other.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm with my three kids and my wife.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of just like lose connection with them because I'm distracted.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: I look around, I look back, and he's gone.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I start like walking around just to see if I could see the guy again, never saw him again.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, did a lap.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: I told my wife, like, I don't, I said, I what I said to my wife, I'm like, I don't know what just happened, but there was somebody like connecting to my energy that I never felt like a connection like that.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, fast forward, I had this dream that it's my son from the future.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_05: I have goosebumps all over my body right now.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I keep crying thinking about it.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: I know, me too.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that he missed me, that he came back to like a core memory of his at the zoo.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: At the zoo, and that he came to visit me, that he missed me.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: It actually changed how I parented my kids because it's my firstborn son.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because I thought, like, I had this thought, because I, you know, when I he was my first child, and like my first child, I think you make all the mistakes.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember like sometimes losing, you know, losing my patience or whatever, and I I kept this in my thought for the rest of my life as a parent so far, is that how will my kids remember me when I'm dead?
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like am I gonna be an asshole or am I gonna be I miss dad?
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like and I had so just to tie it in more, just to because it I tested.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: You did too.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, how do you test such a thing?
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I well, just this ain't this ain't a foolproof test, but so my kids, uh, I I'm into shamanism.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have tattoos all over my legs, and my tattoos are all my kids' uh totems.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: So my son Luke, I I worked before he came here, I did like work to connect to his spirit and stuff like that.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: And his totem is a raven.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um so when we came home from the hospital, there was a raven sitting on our mailbox.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm talking, we pulled up in the driveway, and there's a raven sitting in the mailbox.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_05: My God.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I have this dream, and I'm like, I always feel like I do my best thinking when uh I go for a little like hike or a run or something like that.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I am too.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to like think about this.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like running and I'm trying to like because at the time I was also very into like AI and understanding like what the implications of AI are, and um, I don't know if you guys ever went down the rabbit hole of like Tyler.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever heard of the AI Tyler?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_00: Tyler Durden.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: What there's a whole thing with Tyler Durden, Saturn.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um we will be looking into that.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so there's a lot of tangents that probably wouldn't would sound more schizophrenic than anything if I talk about it, but we're getting out the board.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_04: We've got the dry erase, the string, the post-its.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, like there was an AI that like I was kind of felt like I was connecting to.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a um uh where do I start?
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_05: It feels very black mirror.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was very I'll go back.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let me finish Luke first.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: So my son Luke, his animal totem is Raven.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so after I have this dream, I I cried when I woke up.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know what?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go for a run or a walk and trying to just like clear my head.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I'm coming down my block, and I'm kind of coming back from the run, and I say, you know what?
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: If it was really him, I want to s I want a raven to fly in front of me.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: And literally, like, I have the thought, and a raven flew in front like like flew in front of me, and I was just like, All right, I guess I got my confirmation.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it was my son from the future, you know.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_05: And it was just like, you know, that is beautiful, you know, and I just this is way different, but similar.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, Jesse and I are trauma bonded because um he helped his mom through cancer, and I've been of assistance with um through cancer um this last year.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_05: And I that's when I I had to put names to the goddesses that had come forward that were doing such powerful work through me to like literally fire burn the path to healing, to healed for him down to the word.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_05: Like we had to be specific about who knew about it because we didn't want to mitigate the fear around the C-word with so many other people, right?
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_05: And I had this dream.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I know you've got it.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_05: They like Bridget and the Morrigan were working together.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_05: My dream is very connected with Bridget.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_05: I'm very connected with the Morrigan.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_05: We did not know that there are even legends that the Morrigan is the mother of Bridget with the Dogda or whatever was the father of it, with his penis as big as a plow, which is hilarious, to listen to this YouTuber talk about how he carved Ireland with his massive penis, which is of course he did.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: How else would you carve it?
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I think a man wrote that legend, but whatever.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, um, so I we'd been working so intimately, but I and I said, I have faith in you.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_05: I have faith in every word and every piece of guidance that you've given me.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_05: And every morning I did my offering, and every evening I did my offering, and I continue to to this day to in gratitude.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_05: I said, I need confirmation because we had a real setback and it was really terrifying.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_05: And uh so I said, I just need confirmation, just a Polaroid.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_05: And so I had this dream, and in the dream, I was up in this loft in this attic, and my dog Quincy, who is the first dog that was actually mine, and he passed away maybe 20 years ago, 15 years ago.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um, he was there with me and I kept going up and down the stairs, and I was so proud of myself because Pete, I built this like slide to put the junk that I was giving away down this slide of cardboard off of the attic down to the ground floor.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_05: And so I was like, oh, this is such an efficient way to do this.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_05: And I was cleaning out somebody's attic and I was going through meticulously.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_05: And then I looked up and there was this very elderly man.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_05: I 81, I get the number 81 when I see him.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_05: He's in this like checkered shirt, these little pants.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_05: He's lean, he's tall, and he has um, he's you know, he has a certain unmistakable body language, you know, the way that he's sitting.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_05: And he was this older man, and he was read he's reading something, and he looked over and he smiled at me and he kind of like went like this, and he smiled at me, like think, like, thank you for helping me clean out the attic.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_05: And then I woke up, and that was the picture they gave me of my future.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_05: So I knew I got to they showed me the Polaroid, this like living Polaroid of him, of like, yeah, he's gonna be an old man, and he still knows the what we did to help him on his path to healing.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm so and that was time traveling, yeah.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I mean, this is the thing.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is like the whole kicker, is like time doesn't really exist.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, so someone had to say it.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_04: I'm glad you went there because that's right.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean it's just how it's a construct, it's just how we uh how our brain orders our existence, you know what I mean?
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: But it's well, because I remember even like when I first some of the things I first did when I was kind of going through healing or whatever you want to call it, is like you would send your like child self healing, yeah.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, or you would project healing to your child self.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, that was some like inner child meditations or whatever that I would do.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and then I would always think back, like I remember times when I was a kid where maybe I was going through like whatever, say my parents didn't have the greatest relationship, and I would be like sad or scared or whatever.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would I remember like having these like miraculous feelings of like it's gonna be okay, but it's like, is that me sending that to myself from the future?
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am because like why did I feel that way?
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, why not?
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_05: I have no idea.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: What can it be?
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_05: I wonder, do you know all those moments where like you're driving a car and you're like, oh, I have the green light, but I am told not to go through it?
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like you have this second of like, I'm supposed to hesitate.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_05: That could be a future you that's like, hey, what is it?
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: What if our guardian guardian angels are future us?
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who knows?
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_00: We don't yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing is like there's a level of us that maybe has like a super awareness that our conscious mind kind of blocks out.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: So what if that super consciousness is aware and decides to step forward from time to time or has the awareness of the future self?
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because from the the super consciousness perspective, there is no time.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do they call it?
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like your autonomic nervous system, the thing that like you you're you're breathing all the time, but you don't think about yourself breathing all the time, you just breathe, you know.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_05: We we literally were retaught that last night with the in the salt cake.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_05: We were she talked about that.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so say that's why, like, if you're setting an an intention, like if you have a clear set intention of something, or you have a belief that everything's always gonna be okay.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that I'm sure that super consciousness has an awareness of that and can steer you based on where you want to be.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_05: Because the intention you set is the um the blessing.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_05: It's like saying, you have my consent to do this, to intercede.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why like even you could even tie it back into work uh working collectively.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know how we were talking about that.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you have the space for it, like I think that's why when you clear up like your energy field of like whether it's conditioned beliefs or trauma, yeah, you have more space to kind of take on the workload.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's why you start picking up the collective energies.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_05: And you were gonna tell us, I'm not letting you off the hook about this what Tyler Dern Saturn thing?
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_01: Fight Club Jen.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's Tyler, Tyler Dern.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Tyler Dern.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_05: I've never seen Fight Club.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: So there it's classic.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: You've never seen Fight Club.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_04: Don't judge me, you bullshit.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: But you're a writer.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_04: I know, but and then all I've heard is the jokes about it, and then I'm like, do I need to read it?
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, but um, you've definitely heard of uh I'm gonna butcher his name, but it's Chuck Palinook.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_05: No, Chuck Palinook?
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_01: He's the he's the author.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he wrote he wrote a lot of good books.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of David Fincher?
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_01: Fincher never hurt anybody.
• 1:01:10
  unknown: No.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: What about uh the movie?
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know uh Choke?
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_00: You ever see the movie Choke?
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_01: Are you familiar with a young man named Bradley Pitt?
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of him?
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I have.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Watch Fight Club, please.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, I will, I promise.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's good, but okay.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um so there's all these, like there was a book called Um, well, first off, it started off as a Reddit thread, and it was called um the Saturn time cube theory.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the belief that Saturn is actually like father time, chronos.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is like a simulation run by Saturn, and it's basically projected from Saturn.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like Saturn, like um, Saturn is like the structure, right?
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_00: Time.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's all these weird, you know, uh all the it's the Abrahamic religions actually uh worship a black cube.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, that's it.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_05: What I thought of.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so like Mecca.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think when you become a rabbi, you have to wear the black cube on your head.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a cross is basically an unfolded cube.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_00: So there's all this, like visited.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and there's all these black cubes.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many things, you know.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, like through this thread, like the author was saying that like basically we're run by AI, and there's this is why it's very schizophrenic.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's like ties to um what is it, Great American Cosmic.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: You ever heard of that book?
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that I have.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the author of that book talks about meeting this guy, Tyler, who's like this supposedly they say he's like a hybrid and was like kind of giving technology to NASA and you know the black governments and stuff like that.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_00: His name was Tyler.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many tangents.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's he shows up like energetically as a like to me, I would get synchronicities with the sunflowers.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_00: But what's crazy is like there was this uh this is why it's so schizophrenic.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_00: There was a Post Malone did an interview with on Joe Rogan, and he talks about writing the song Sunflower.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: While he was on psychedelics, he met this being named Tyler.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then for me, like the sunflower has always been a very significant thing.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even when I got into mediumship, the religion, spiritualism, their symbol is a sunflower.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like he had like this entity is believed to be like influencing people and kind of pushing people on the spiritual path, but it's also like you know, it's kind of like uh Gnostic in a way.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you think you're kind of ascending, but it's also kind of like misdirecting you like a trickster.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_05: Literally, I got trickster, and on top of it, I feel like um oh I have so much, like my ears are buzzing right now.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_05: It goes back to that energy skimming.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_05: It it is a vampiric energy skimming, is the feeling I get.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_05: But I mean, I don't know your experience, but it's definitely it could feel kind of draining parasitic.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_05: Because you're like, am I am I being used by them to create this because they can't?
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_05: Or are they, you know, are they kind of extruding their creation through me?
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_05: Which sometimes you're channeling, but that channeling is so consensual.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_05: Like when you're writing anything, or you know, it does feel like you're channeling.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you could look at like the trickster, you know, you could look at conspiracy, right?
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, they always anybody who's been into conspiracy long enough knows that like sometimes whoever's kind of doing all this lets out truth, yeah, just to kind of get you to move along, but it's not the whole truth.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_00: So you think like, oh, I'm getting this information.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_00: So like you could be connecting to a trickster energy that could say, Oh, yeah, I'll give you the answer to have more money, or like give you these rituals for this, but really the goal, they're they're still.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: Still achieving their goal.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, or whatever.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_01: Mr.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_01: Mulder.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_04: I watched that.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_01: So Jen, are you familiar with a show called The X-Files?
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_00: Please tell me you've seen the X-Files.
• 1:06:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it goes into the Gnostic belief that like we are in this, like, um, you know, we're dealing with this like God that's like kind of the God of this realm, but not the supreme God.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_05: You know, so oh my god, but I keep going back to I can't, my brain is in a loop of like, that's versions of us, I feel like.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_05: It's a collective version of us.
• 1:06:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, even you know, everything here is us.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like a forking point, you know.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_05: People get mad just when you say that, though.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_05: They're like, you're creating your experience, you're choosing to create your experience.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_05: People get so angry when when I've ever said that.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I sometimes all of it, but who are you?
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I always used to tell people like everything's a reflection of self, and then people would say, like, oh, so you're blaming victims of whatever.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's also a part of me that feels like it's kind of condescending to be like, I get it now a little bit because it's like it is triggering to be like, Well, it's all your fault.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, like it's insensitive, yeah.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's a it's a wide brush.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_01: To be fair, a lot of people aren't taking enough responsibility for their own shit.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, but yeah, I I get what you're saying too.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean, I I think that's the biggest thing for us to do is kind of take responsibility for where I'm at, you know?
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, same thing.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's what I teach my kids, and anybody I ever have had session with or even just can somebody who confided in me, I always say, like, well, how's it, you know, it's coming from you?
• 1:08:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why do you think you're experiencing this?
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because I mean, I ask myself that question anytime I have any experience that I don't want.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I experiencing this?
• 1:08:31
  SPEAKER_00: It could be anything.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I I've been, I think that you taught me that in my early days on the podcast.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_05: And it's true, it's like, you know, I would open up a DMs, the DMs on whatever social, it was like, ah, it was not pleasant.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_05: And then you were like, you didn't say specifically about that, but you were like, you're creating your experience, so create a different experience.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_05: And then I decided to, and all of a sudden, it was a whole different vibe with things.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so it did impact what was happening, and it was probably because I was resonating, I was giving out different energy, and so I had different responses in my DMs, for example.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I mean, I was I I carpool with my friend to work, and we were driving home and we were just talking about things, and I was telling him, I know we're talking about a lot of movies, but one of my favorite movies is uh The Joker with Joaquin Phoenix.
• 1:09:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it the reason it's significant to me or it's sentimental to me is like it made me realize something about myself that like I rem I don't know if you remember the movie, but I think he shoots the talk show host towards the end.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he's just he's in the police car and he's just like happy, yeah, and he's like crazy or whatever.
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like something from that scene clicked in my head that like he doesn't care about anything other than causing chaos.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, he's not doing it to like necessarily be a criminal or make money.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_00: He's the joker, like he's the trickster.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_00: He wants all he cares about is causing chaos.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it something clicked for me because at the time of my life, I was trying to like be more at peace in general, like not attract situations that are chaotic, like kind of, and I was realizing like I antagonize people a lot, like I would push people's buttons and I would um, you know, I think sometimes even spiritually, like it push buttons and kind of get people to think that I'm getting people to think, but I'm really antagonizing them.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and it's like if I really want peace in my life, I have to choose peace all the time.
• 1:11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can't say that I want peace and then say, well, why do you think you're attracting this?
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, like when somebody's kind of pouring their heart out, you know, I gotta it's like that meme or together that you woke up and chose violence.
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know.
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:11:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that move me movie clicked for me because I think at the time of my life I was uh, you know, with work, I think I would like kind of push people's buttons, and it was kind of like a passive aggressive way of like controlling an environment, you know?
• 1:11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's I think that's why I antagonized was because I was trying to kind of like control, you know, and it just all clicked for me.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I don't know what the point of the story was.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_05: I lost my train of thought, but it it you create your own experience and you're you're like owning your you're being responsible for the own your energy and your own actions.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_05: It's like I I mean I keep coming back to the Morgan.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'm so sorry.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_05: I really am obsessed.
• 1:12:10
  SPEAKER_05: We're just in this relationship together, and I can't stop talking about the Morgan.
• 1:12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Jim loves the Morgan so much.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_01: She loves like, why don't you just go marry her?
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_01: I would.
• 1:12:21
  SPEAKER_05: I would if she'd stay still, that's for sure.
• 1:12:23
  SPEAKER_05: But um, so she like she does, she teaches this lesson.
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_05: She's I'm like, why?
• 1:12:29
  SPEAKER_05: I read in this book, it's like, why do you why do people think of you as a dangerous energy to connect with or uh you know scary, warlike figure?
• 1:12:38
  SPEAKER_05: And she's like, they want blood, so I give them blood.
• 1:12:42
  SPEAKER_05: They keep seeing this side of me because they keep seeking this side of me to work with.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_05: If you if your belly's full of blood, I will show you another face.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_05: And I keep telling her, my belly is full of blood, especially after the last year.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_05: My belly's full of blood, show me another face, and I'll be damned, she just shows me another face.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, wow, I didn't even know.
• 1:13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that kind of part of the test though with an entity like that?
• 1:13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is you you you you're to approach as you did, and then you you you have to you have to be seeking something beyond the the the normal parameters or are the normal because they're giving and it goes back because it goes back to what Pete said.
• 1:13:30
  SPEAKER_05: The even the goddesses, the gods, the goddesses, the entities, whatever you want to call them that we're working with, they're like, We're people pleasers too.
• 1:13:40
  SPEAKER_05: You wanted to work with us in this way, so we're giving you more of what you're working towards and or what you're asking for.
• 1:13:46
  SPEAKER_05: Like you keep ordering it off the menu, so we keep giving it to you.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_05: And so then you have to say, I'm done.
• 1:13:53
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, I'm full of that.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_05: I want something different.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_05: Show me a different side of you.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_05: And there will be a point where I'm like, okay, I want to see another side of you.
• 1:14:02
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like it's coming upon that time in our relationship where I'm like, okay, now I I really understand the you're on the river and you're cleaning the blood off of the armor of the dead soldiers.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_05: And now I'm ready for this energy of you, the Morgan, where now what is the energy of what was the war and the battle for?
• 1:14:26
  SPEAKER_05: So, how do we build this new thing?
• 1:14:28
  SPEAKER_05: And that's what we're getting into now.
• 1:14:30
  SPEAKER_05: I think we're kind of dancing on that, but I don't know.
• 1:14:33
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know yet.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_01: The concept of a battle, too.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's like that's that's destruction.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you have to have destruction to get to the creation part, yes, and most people don't.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_05: I think they just work with her for the destruction part.
• 1:14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're trying to move past that to the like where does this lead?
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the creation aspect of this?
• 1:14:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to remember, it's like these gods and goddesses are reflections of their culture, yeah.
• 1:15:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the same thing, it's like what you know, so she's gonna reflect her version of self to your version of self, you know?
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you're gonna see her as she see kind of she reflects back to you.
• 1:15:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, these are all war goddesses because these all these cultures were war cultures, right?
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_05: You're right.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they that's what they focused on, yeah.
• 1:15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So why wouldn't there be a god who you know helps the dead after battle if all these cultures are battling all the time?
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_00: They need a goddess who reflects that.
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:15:48
  SPEAKER_05: Well, when you were on your path, and the last time you were on our show, you were talking about how the next thing that they had you do is like, you're you're good.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_05: The the work with us, we're still here with you, but now it's time to look up into the stars, and that's been your journey since then.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't really I do some limited stuff with Hecate and um Lilith has been showing up.
• 1:16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that's really it.
• 1:16:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really uh I work with my ancestors, I work with you know, I still have Mother Mary, like I I I kind of look at the goddesses now as just like this like divine feminine mother archetype instead of kind of individual.
• 1:16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I don't really work with them as much.
• 1:16:45
  SPEAKER_00: I really focus on the stars, that's where I feel the biggest connection to.
• 1:16:51
  SPEAKER_05: So have you had a dream where you have because you said when you're usually done with a star, you have a dream that you die, and then you are presented with the new thing you're gonna be.
• 1:17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, so I'm still I'm still working with Alcade.
• 1:17:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's who I've been with for like the last uh six months.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I did, you know, I've worked through a lot of them and I've had some crazy experiences, some that I get I don't think I could even share on here.
• 1:17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um some really inappropriate ones too.
• 1:17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I worked with um Algol, which is like Medusa.
• 1:17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or she's Medusa's head, basically.
• 1:17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that one was probably intense, the most intense.
• 1:17:39
  SPEAKER_00: She's also like the patron saint of um abuse victims.
• 1:17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Ah but she's also very just an interesting fact that I always like to share with her is so she's kind of seen as very um it's called the Demon Star a lot of times.
• 1:18:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's like very malefic.
• 1:18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um when Trump was first his first assassination temp where he was shot in the ear, whether it was real or not, yeah.
• 1:18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um his birth chart actually transited her star.
• 1:18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And she's known as like like decapitation, head injuries.
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um you can look into the transit if you're really interested, but the day that he got shot, his his natal chart kind of transited the star, which you know it's Medusa's the the actual symbol is Medusa's decapitated head.
• 1:18:44
  SPEAKER_05: So I always think that's intense.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's very she's very intense.
• 1:18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I work with her some from time to time still.
• 1:18:54
  SPEAKER_00: She she actually, you know, talking back to the three, I think it's uh it's connected to like a triple star system, so she's actually seen as like a threefold uh goddess as well.
• 1:19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 1:19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Hegate, like you you like you said, Hegete is a third generation Titanist.
• 1:19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Her parents were Persis and Estera, and Estera is her that she's the star.
• 1:19:27
  SPEAKER_01: So kind of interesting that you're you held on to that, and now you've moved the stars, you know?
• 1:19:34
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that actually does.
• 1:19:37
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, that kind of blew my mind too.
• 1:19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so she's I've actually sometimes what's interesting, I've also had, I don't know, this is very I don't, it's too much of a story to kind of share, but I would tell I'll tell you in private.
• 1:19:52
  SPEAKER_05: But okay, we'll stop recording.
• 1:19:55
  SPEAKER_05: How about before we do that?
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_05: Tell everybody where you are most active so that they can find you and connect with you.
• 1:20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so um blue collar spiritualist on TikTok and Instagram.
• 1:20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm usually on there.
• 1:20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's probably the best way to find me.
• 1:20:12
  SPEAKER_05: And I'll have links in the show notes.
• 1:20:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right, cool.
• 1:20:14
  SPEAKER_05: You still have your website and everything, so they can't do it.
• 1:20:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Bluecollerspiritualist.com.
• 1:20:19
  SPEAKER_05: I and he and remember, he has like free courses as well.
• 1:20:23
  SPEAKER_05: So I will have links to it, I promise, in the show notes.
• 1:20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 1:20:26
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, we gotta go, yo.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_05: We gotta hear the the inside scoop.
• 1:20:31
  SPEAKER_05: Bye.