Latest / Dits & Dahs / fitting in by adapting
Transcript
- fitting in by adapting: When I talk about feeling as though I don't fit in in a variety of circumstances throughout my life, I don't mean that as a woe is me kind of thing, it's just an unders understanding that I've learned to adapt to a world that would normally not include me. Common thing. Left handed people like myself, I'm technically I'm ambidextrous. I'm one of those weird ambidextrous people that when I sit down I'm left handed, when I stand up I'm right handed. In other words, I play all my sports as a right-handed person, but when I sit down to eat or write for the most part, I do things favoring my left hand. I discovered this, clearly very early on in life, but particularly at one point when I was in junior high, I was asked to write something on the chalkboard. Yeah, I'm that old. And without thinking of it, I was writing with my right hand. Some of my classmates who knew that I was a lefty called me out. Hey, aren't you left handed? And so it's been. You know, as a left handed person didn't have left handed scissors, so you had to learn to cut with your right hand. And so today I'm wearing a new set of togs, of which the trousers have pockets. Confirmation with a chipmunk. And these are outdoor work trousers. There's a hammer loop on my left hip, and there's a particular side pocket on my right hand side, which is where I put my phone. Now this is all based for a right handed person. as subtle as that is, which I don't mind because I'm standing up when I'm utilizing these features. So it feels natural because of my adaptation over the years. To put my phone in the pocket on the right side of my trousers. And it's that subtle vibe of always being aware and figuring out how I was going to fit in where I make these adaptations that now I don't think twice about. It's always going to be a right handed world. And I nonetheless have to Find success existing in that constraint. Sometimes when I'm at a large dinner gathering, I'm mindful of where I'm sitting. For the sake that if I'm sat with somebody to my left who's right-handed, we're gonna be bumping elbows most of the night when we're eating, given that I eat with my left hand. And so when I talk about in previous blog posts that I've always felt as though I never fit in even amongst other musicians, you know, my natural world, I don't think anything of it. doesn't bother me anymore. The reality is it is that kind of world in which I live and I have to make the most of it to my advantage. Gives me a level of resilience that I think is important that we all can benefit from. The understanding that when you become aware that you're in a situation that doesn't feel natural to you, your presence is gonna be what helps get you through. Your brain's always going to try and figure out how to make it work. And I attribute that level of ongoing awareness of my presence showing up in the world as a very key and important aspect of adapting when I feel energies that don't belong to me. Do I catch everything? No. But I have certainly, through my experiences of catching others situations of injustice, because after all, when you're feeling energies that don't belong to you, that's spiritual trespassing. That just won't do. That is not cool. Because I've always had to make things fit for me in terms of being a lefty. Even amongst lefties I've been as I previously mentioned, not your confirmation with my watch. I'm not your traditional, if there is such a thing, lefty. In some small way of being able to figure out how to make the world best for me in these situations has given me a sense of resilience and confidence. To know that when I do encounter situations that are new where I don't fit in, to some degree, I conform enough to get through the situation, not necessarily as a lifetime decision. But having been in this frequent cycle of always having to find my place in amongst situations where I don't naturally fit, it makes me confident, because I have faith in myself and I love myself, that I've sorted out and made a place for myself. On the backside of it People always seem to appreciate my presence wherever I turn up, and that's an affirmation of knowing that you now have the tools to keep an open mind, to remain balanced, remain stoic, remain calm, peaceful, so that your brain can get to work figuring out what it needs to in order to have success in that situation. I had a couple of relationships before I got married to Gareth, where my lover left the relationship, and rather than arguing or throwing a temper tantrum, You have to accept it. It's a situation that that is never going to be a place where I'm gonna find success. And just accept it as that. I don't care how long I was with that person. If it ain't working, it's never gonna work. I've never been a fan of pursuing a solution, ts knowing full well that by me accepting the reality of being rejected, I'll adapt. It's not easy. I mean that's a tr that's a heavy duty oversimplification, because you know you do have to process the emotions of something like that. But it saved me a lot of heartache. It saved me a lot of hate. Saved me a lot of depression. Saved me a lot of feeling lost. Initially you do have those feelings and you learn that you have the truth in order for everything to balance. That's not an easy thing to do when you're getting all sorts of emotions riled up in you because your perhaps your codependent relationship of some sort has decided to see the light and move on. Confirmation with a woodpecker. And what I've learned from having to adapt and accept things as they are and Being accountable to myself for acceptance of those truths, as that people respond to that in a positive way, because they see that you're not playing the victim, that you're not inciting drama and tantrums. It's not as though you don't care. Of course you care of how your feelings were abused, but you gotta heal. You've gotta have enough self love to know that acceptance is forgiveness of yourself, and I talk frequently on other blog posts. That once you forgive yourself and you have to do that first, everything else that comes along that you need to forgive becomes a lot easier because I think forgiving ourselves is probably the most difficult level of acceptance to understand. Acceptance removes all of those emotional roadblocks from your path. You don't intentionally create a woe is me vibe. Especially when you need to have your emotions and your wits about you. to get through perhaps the physical loss of the end of that relationship. At the time my husband died, we were destitute. Well, I you have to accept that reality 'cause it's no getting around that. You're not the only one that knows you're destitute. Your state and county local services, maybe your federal authorities know that you're destitute and they're not necessarily gonna come out volunteer, hey you ought to give this a go, you ought to apply for this. You do have to be accountable to yourself and look for that and research it. But help is there. It's all based on your acceptance of your situation. And goodness knows if you're in a situation like I was, where I was destitute and lost my dog and my husband at the same time, essentially twelve days apart. There's only so much time that you can spend wallowing in grief. You gotta learn that that processing that grief is something that is gonna take time, but you gotta move forward 'cause you still gotta put food on your table. So you end up having a real life situation that sort of forces you to not wallow. But here's the thing. When you recognize that you're on your way to accepting yourself for who you are and being accountable to yourself because you do love yourself, you have faith in yourself, you trust your intuition and you're using your discernment, then you have the awareness that when you're feeling those vibes, and that's contrary to what you are really feeling, Which is a level of happiness and joy with your common peace, then it becomes quickly apparent that those energies don't belong to you. What are you wallowing in them for? Don't give the haters what they want. And understand as well, acceptance of the fact that I will always buy haters for my destiny and my understanding of the prophecy that is part including me, you gain more resilience because you adapt. You learn to use right-handed scissors. You can't be codependent on somebody just because they know how to use the scissors and you don't, right? I know that's silly. The essence of this is that there are gonna be times in life where your world is a feeling as though your your life, like a rug, is pulled from out underneath your feet. There's nothing you can do about it except adapt, accept the truth. Don't be a whiny ass person. Might mean that you have to show yourself for Being the courageous soul you are, even though it's not like you're being a heroine. You're just trying to survive. I mean the adaptations I've made as a lefty make me a better lefty, a better Southpaw. And at the very least, it gives the loved ones around you, when they see me riding with my right hand, when I should be with my left, gives them a giggle. Because they see I'm not struggling. I've accepted my situation for what it is. As unique as it is. People are comforted by your calm and balanced present. Being stoic is the s way to success for me. I mean I don't have time to be lally gagging around in woe was me emotions. I don't think anybody does. That kind of vibe only shows the person up to being weak and cowardly. That's not really a good look. Nor do I wish to come across as being aggressively strong and brutish. That's not a good look either. And maybe that's the spiritual guardrails that I have on my life. is to a lesser extent learning to be comfortable in my own skin and to celebrate the fact that I have adapted to a situation where I didn't really belong, but I'm nonetheless. I'm here. I'm showing up for myself. I share this because you may be experiencing something in your life where you don't feel welcome or that you feel like an outsider. And I humbly recommend turning within. Go down your checklist. Do you love yourself? Do you trust yourself? Do you have faith? That your intuition will always tell you the truth. Do use your discernment to know that you can trust your intuition. Because all of those tenets, confirmation with a circular saw. No, it's not a circular saw. It's a rodo grinder. What it means is that by accepting all of those aspects as your own, as you you're in control, as a beautiful thing. I appreciate you for seeing yourself as being someone who's in control, who's fully present, aware, and Quickly adapting to whatever life throws at you. I see you. I appreciate that. Because you know what? For me, it bolsters my understanding that I am indeed alongside others. Confirmation with the circular saw. That I am me. Lovely, beautiful, highly intelligent, self-deprecating, confirmation with a crow, and a whole lot of fun to be alongside. If you find yourself in control of yourself, you should be feeling the same way, confirmation with a crow again. We're side by side. We may never meet, but we share that. And doesn't that feel comfortable? Because now you understand you do have a place. Right alongside me. Just remember when we eat and we have to sit down, you're gonna sit on my right hand side, not my left. Let's break bread together. Till then, thank you for sharing your energy today. I appreciate you. And it's two twenty two on the clock as I finish this. That's a confirmation.