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Discipline Into Character — The Daily Choices That Build a High‑Value Life · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Detail. Welcome to the Diva
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Detail, where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention,
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we keep it raw, real, and powerful. No filters,
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no limits, just fearless conversations to help you
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thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia.
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Well, hello, this is Diva Mia. And today we're going
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to talk about voting, but not voting in a political sense,
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voting for you, for the person either you are or
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the person you want to become. Every day you're casting votes for the person you
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are becoming. You cast them whether you want, what you
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want to eat, what you will tolerate, what you will postpone,
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how you speak to your children, how you treat your body.
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How you show up at work, and what you do when no one is watching.
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That's a vote. You can either vote to be the same way you are and
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stay stagnant, or you can vote to be something
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different. Most people think transformation begins with one big decision.
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They imagine a dramatic Monday morning when they finally become disciplined,
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organized, healthy, successful, emotionally mature, and completely
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unbothered by nonsense. That is very productive Monday.
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But that's not reality. Real transformations rarely
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happen. That way. It happens through ordinary decisions
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repeated long enough that they become evidence of
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who you are. Daily habits, basically. One workout
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will not transform your body into a bodybuilder, but it is a vote for becoming
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someone who takes care of their health. One honest conversation
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will not repair every relationship, but it's a vote for
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becoming someone who communicates with courage. One focused
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hour will not build an entire career, but it is a
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vote for becoming someone who follows through. So you
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see, every single step that we take, no matter how big, in the right direction
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is moving you to the person you want to become. The opposite's also true
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because every time you make an excuse, ignore a boundary, avoid a responsibility,
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or repeatedly choose comfort over growth, you are voting
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too. You do not get to abstain from the election of your future.
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Your repeated choices are always producing a result.
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Today we're talking about how discipline becomes character,
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how habits determine the direction of your growth, and why you
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must build habits around the person you want to become, not merely accommodate
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the person you are today. And that's the problem. I think people have habits
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around who they are today. They brush their teeth, they take a shower,
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they get up and have a cup of coffee, they have breakfast,
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and then they go to work. But is that what you want to become?
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Or do you need to create a habit of waking up in the morning,
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Brushing your teeth, going for a jog or a walk, getting some natural
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sunlight, maybe getting a workout in before you go to work.
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That's a habit of someone you want to become. We're gonna apply this
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to health, relationships, family, and career because your habits
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do not live in separate little boxes. They form a system of who
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you are. This system is either building your life or
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quietly dismantling it. The idea fits directly into
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who we are and what we wanna become. You want a better life with your
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whole heart and still maintain habits that reproduce the life you
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already have, it's not going to work. Desire tells you what
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you like, but habits will reveal what you are building. And you need
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to look at the habits of other people sometimes because people
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leave clues with what they do on a daily basis. If you want to get
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in shape, but you're eating like a normal American or have
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a Western diet, there's a bad habit there. If you want
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to get in shape, why don't you go see what leaves clues? Go look at
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people that are in shape. What are they eating? They tend to eat the same
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thing every single day. They eat at the same times every single day.
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They have a structured schedule. The person you are today is not
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the blueprint you should be following. One of the biggest mistakes people make is designing
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their habits around their current identity. We say, I am not
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a morning person. I'm just disorganized, or I've never been consistent, or I'm
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bad with money. I always choose the wrong relationship. We take our
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current pattern, which is where we currently exist, and turn it into a permanent
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identity. That's not who you are. Do not organize
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your life around protecting your current identity or protecting
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your ego. You get to choose who you become.
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Who you are today is not necessarily who you are meant to remain. You get
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to choose. Your current self is the result of previous
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beliefs, choices, environments, and habits. Some of those choices were deliberate.
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Some of them you fell into. Others developed while you were in survival
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mode, raising children, working, healing, or simply doing the best
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you could with what you knew at the time. But now you may know better,
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so choose a different habit. You do not need to hate your
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present self or to outgrow her. You can respect what
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you've survived and still admit that some of your habits cannot take
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you where you want to go. The better question is, what would the woman I
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want to become do consistently? How would I have
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to change on a daily basis to be that final
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person? If you want to become healthy, what does a healthy woman do on an
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ordinary Tuesday? Does she sleep in and then get up and do some laundry and
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then go back for a nap and then go and eat out at McDonald's?
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No, you got to do what a normal, healthy person would do. If you want
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a peaceful relationship, what does an emotionally healthy partner tolerate? Do you tolerate
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cheating? Do you tolerate lying? Do you tolerate a lack of communication
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or do you refuse it? If you want a close family, how does
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a present parent behave when she's tired? Does she snap
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at her children? Does she yell at them just because she's having a bad day?
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No. If you want a stronger career, what does a capable professional
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do before motivation arrives? They get to work. They do the stuff that
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needs to get done on a daily basis. You create the future version of yourself
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by practicing your behaviors before they feel fully natural.
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You gotta step outta your box. This is not pretending. This is training
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for the person you want to become. If discipline is often treated like punishment,
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people hear the word and picture deprivation. Rigid schedules
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or forcing themselves through a miserable life. That is not how
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I define it. Discipline is the ability to keep a commitment after the
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emotion that created it has long passed. It is self-respect
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expressed through behavior. Learn to respect and love
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yourself because that's what you need in this life. No one else is going to
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do it as much as you can and for the right reasons. Character is
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who you are consistently, especially when your choices are inconvenient
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and no one is applauding, when no one is watching. Character because repeated
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choices eventually stop being isolated actions.
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They become your normal response. At first, you have to remind yourself. You have
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to say, self, to tell the truth when the truth is uncomfortable,
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I don't feel comfortable doing this. Eventually, honesty becomes part
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of your character. At first, you have to force yourself to finish what you start.
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You have to. You may not like going to the gym. And this is what
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happens on January 1st every year. People start, they go to the gym, And after
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a week or two, they're still sore and they get sick of it and they
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quit, but they're just quitting a little bit too soon because by week 3,
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they would have been fine. Eventually reliability becomes part of your character.
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At first, you have to practice walking away from people who repeatedly violate
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your boundaries. You may have to walk away from things in order to say yes
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to things that you need to. Again, remember I said a few
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weeks ago that this is my month of no. I think I'm going to make
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the rest of the year though. If it doesn't serve me, my answer is going
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to be no. I'm not allowing anything into my life. This is a new boundary
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I have that violates me in any way. Eventually,
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self-respect becomes part of your character because you have great
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boundaries. This is why small habits matter more than
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they appear to matter. You're not only completing
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a task, you're creating proof and evidence for yourself
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that you can do something. These small habits lead to bigger accomplishments.
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Every complete promise tells your mind, I can trust myself. I respect myself.
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And when you trust yourself, every abandoned promise teach— teaches you
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the opposite. And we don't need to abandon ourselves. We need to love ourselves
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and trust ourselves. That does not mean missing one workout or having one bad day
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destroys your complete identity that you've now created as your new purpose. Perfection is
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not the goal. The danger comes when the exception becomes the pattern
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and the pattern becomes the excuse. Then all you have is excuses
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and victimhood and a bad mindset. Strong character is not built
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by never failing. It is built by correcting quickly when you fall down. You notice
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the drift, take accountability, and return to the standard without turning
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one mistake into a 6-month vacation from your goals,
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cuz you're not gonna hit 'em. Growth is built into your, your routine, and growth
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is not an abstract idea. You can read books about growth, listen to podcasts,
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buy a beautiful planner for growth, and still remain exactly where
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you are. Growth requires repeated behavior that stretches your capabilities and
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pushes you outta your comfort zone. All you people out there stuck in your comfort
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zone and enjoying it and happy, fat and happy in whatever you're doing. You've got
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to come out of your comfort zone to grow. A useful habit should at least
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be one of 4 things. You either protect what matters, you remove what
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weakens you, you develop a needed ability, or you move towards a meaningful
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result. If you're not doing one of those 4 things, you don't have a useful
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habit. Some habits protect your health, peace, mind, time, money,
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relationships. Some remove distractions.
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Sometimes relationships are distractions. Sometimes people are destructive.
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Or you have excess spending or poor food choices or unnecessary
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chaos, or you're not going to bed at time. A lot of people say they
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don't sleep well, but they go to bed at midnight and then they wonder why
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they're not getting enough sleep when they have to get up at 6 o'clock in
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the morning for work. That's a distraction. Some things develop strength,
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patience, competence, but you know, we need to develop more emotional
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control. Others move us to a specific goal, such as completing a degree.
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But these are all things that are habits. If your routine does none of these
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things, it's keeping you busy without helping you grow. If your routine is
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not getting you to where you need to be, you're just going through the busywork.
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You're just doing what you've always done, expecting a different result. And that's
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the definition of insanity, as they say. Growth requires periodic
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discomfort. It's just going to, you're going to have to change your habits, learn to
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enjoy change and learn to enjoy discomfort.
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And you will see your life get so much better in such a short
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period of time because you enjoy change and you enjoyed growth and you're Loving
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the discomfort. A habit that once challenged you may eventually become
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maintenance. Walking 1 mile may represent enormous progress at first.
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I mean, especially for me, I had surgery, so I can't walk at all right
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now, but I'll be back to walking a mile next week. Having 1
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difficult conversation may be a major breakthrough. A later growth may
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require you to stop repeating the same boundaries and finally enforce it
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and end a relationship. Your habits should evolve as you evolve.
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The standard is not endless suffering. The standard is honest progression.
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Constant and never-ending improvement. Again, enjoy the growth.
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Let's begin with the health because without your health, you have nothing. Your body
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is your vehicle carrying you through every part of your life. Many people
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create health habits around the body they have today. They're okay. They're comfortable
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in their body. They may have a little bit of belly fat. They eat based
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on current cravings. You know, they move based on current energy.
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They sleep when they need to and they get up and then they take a
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bath so they don't smell or shower. Then they wonder why they're future
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body never arrives. They're like, crap, I've been working out every day doing the
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exact same thing I did yesterday and the day before, and nothing's changing.
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If you want to become healthier, stronger, and more capable, your schedule must contain
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evidence of that intention. You can't keep doing what
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you did before expecting a different result. You might include planning meals
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before hunger actually happens. Keep your medical appointments. Take your prescriptions
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if you have any on time. Strength train. Ladies, you're going to have to lift
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some weights with progressive overload. That's how you get stronger and more muscular.
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Increase your step count. If you're only walking 10,000
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steps a day, maybe go to 12,000. See what that helps. Protect your sleep.
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Sleep is so important. It's the foundation for everything related to health. Water as
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well. There's people that are going through life chronically dehydrated and they're wondering why they're
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not losing weight, but you're chronically dehydrated. If you're constantly stressed,
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increasing your cortisol, that's also going to prevent you from losing weight and allow—
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you've got to allow recovery for your body as well. Health discipline also means refusing
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the all-or-nothing mentality. People often believe that if they cannot complete their perfect workout,
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cook the perfect meal, or follow the plan perfectly, there's no
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point in doing it. You gotta get over that. If you can't make it to
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the gym for 2 hours today, and you usually go for 2 hours, but you
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made it for 30 minutes, good on ya. That is how perfectionism disguises itself as
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an excuse. Don't let it. Take the little wins when you can. A 20-minute
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walk still casts a vote towards your, where you're going. Going to
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bed 30 minutes earlier still casts a vote. Maybe you need to go to bed
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3 hours earlier, but you're getting there. Do 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes
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a day earlier. Choose the better meal when the perfect meal is unavailable. When you
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go to a restaurant, don't say, oh man, I just— I deserve this,
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I'm gonna eat whatever I want. No, find something that is improving upon
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what you used to eat. Resting appropriately after an injury is also a
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vote, like I'm doing right now, because it's not reckless to rest.
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Although I'm still getting around and still getting about 8,000
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steps in a day, even though I have an ankle that just had surgery.
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Sometimes the discipline choice is pushing forward and sometimes it's also allowing
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the body to heal. Instead of doing 8,000 steps in a row,
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I'm doing little sections of steps. I get up every hour and I move.
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The question is not whether every health decision is impressive.
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The question is whether you, your usual decisions support the body and life you
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really want. What health outcomes are you trying to pursue? You need
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to determine that. What would a person who achieves that outcome do every
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single day? It's not like we can't find the information today. The information
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Inspiration is everywhere. Figure out what you wanna do and then go out and look
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at your favorite person on Instagram and find out what their habits are. Which one
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of these actions can become automatic in your life? Do not create 12
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new health habits overnight. It, it's, it will overwhelm
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you and you won't be able to keep up. That usually produces 12 abandoned habits
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by next Thursday. Choose the habit with this greatest leverage that you
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can utilize and incorporate right away so you can see more results.
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Man, it might be just getting to bed on time. Or daily walking, or get
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that food out of the house that's triggering you. Sometimes if
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you just change your grocery shop and to only incorporate foods that aren't
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processed, that makes a huge benefit to you. But you've got to build proof
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and evidence and then expand on, on it. When it comes to relationships,
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relationships are governed by habits as well. We don't even realize it. We usually
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think of relationships in terms of feelings, chemistry, and major events, but the quality of
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a relationship is built through repeated interactions. Healthy relationship
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habits include telling the truth, asking direct questions, listening without preparing
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a defense in advance. If you're lying to your partner,
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that's a habit that's wrong and it's going to end up destroying
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a relationship. Sometimes you need positive— you need to express
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appreciation for your partner, honor the agreements you have with your partner,
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observe their patterns as well, repair conflict and enforce boundaries
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when it needs to. Sometimes we make excuses for dishonesty
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because we're comfortable, but you can't ignore what behavior is showing
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you. Trying to rescue people from consequence and staying silent for
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temporary peace and giving unlimited access to someone who has
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not demonstrated integrity. You can have a strong desire for a
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loyal relationship while maintaining the habit of overlooking disloyal behavior.
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That's not good. You can say you want emotional safety
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while repeatedly choosing people who create confusion or
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are disloyal. You can claim that communication matters while
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expecting another person to read your mind. Your standards do
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not exist because you wrote them on a list. They exist when you choose to
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enforce them. That applies to how you treat other people too.
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If you want a mature relationship, you must practice being a mature partner.
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That means communicating clearly instead of testing someone or trying to manipulate
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them. You need to keep your word and take accountability when you are wrong
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and refuse to use affection as a substitute for honesty.
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A powerful relationship habit is the weekly truth check. Ask yourself,
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what did this person's behavior consistently communicate
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this week? Were they loving? Did they come across as being
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deceptive? Did they, did my behavior communicate? Did I speak when something
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mattered? Did I talk up? Did I ask questions? Did I accept something
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that contradicts my values? Am I attached to the person in front
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of me and that's why I'm allowing things to go by that I don't
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like? Or the potential I keep assigning to them or him or
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her. That check prevents isolated romantic moments from erasing
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a pattern. You need to journal this stuff when it comes to health and chemistry
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and relationships, because chemistry can be exciting, but consistency
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is true evidence. Family habits are the repeated behaviors as well that
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create the emotional culture of a home. Children learn far
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more from what we normalize than from what we lecture.
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They're watching you. So the way you react with the people in your relationships
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has a huge impact on your children as well. If you tell your children that
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health matters, but never take care of yourself, they notice.
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If you tell them that education matters, but treat learning as a
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punishment, they notice that too. And respect, you got
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to respect yourself for them to respect themselves. Well, because while watching you
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tolerate disrespect, they notice that. And if you're in a relationship where you're constantly disrespected,
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that's teaching them how to react and how to be with their next partner when
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they become an adult. And it can create long-lasting traumatic
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events for children. This is not being about being a perfect partner.
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Perfect partners do not exist, but children would probably
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find them exhausting if they did. It's about creating consistency
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and evidence around the values you want your family to carry and
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how they will react when they become adults and have their own partners.
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Family habits might include eating out together without phones,
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checking in individually with each child, maintaining predictable routines.
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Just when you pick them up from school, just say, hey, how was your day?
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And talk to them. Don't just say fine and accept that. And then maybe discuss
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mistakes without humiliating them. That's a good thing to do. There's no
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need to humiliate a child to make a point. Assign age-appropriate
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responsibilities as well. Kids should be doing chores. It actually helps them
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learn and develop as a better human being. Show up for important events that
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are important to them and apologize when you do something wrong.
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Accountability really does belong here because loving your children does not
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mean protecting them from every consequence. They need to be held
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accountable. It means preparing them to function in a world that will eventually
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hold them responsible for the things they do and their actions. When you require them
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to tell the truth, complete responsibility, respect for other people,
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and repair the damage they cause, you are helping them build
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character. You are also accountable for, as an adult, for repeatedly allowing your
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family's environment to be unstable. Friends or partners and
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relatives influence the standards your children observe. So bring people
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into your children's life that are positive. Do not be having people in your children's
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life that are bad influences on you or them. You cannot control every
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person, but you can control who receives consistent access to your home
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and your family life. If you are married or divorced or
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in a relationship or not, it doesn't matter. Friends impact this
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as well. One practical family habit is a short weekly meeting. You can ask them
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what went well, if there's anything that needs attention. It's just kind
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of a check-in to see if there's anything you can fix in the family.
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Keep it simple. You do it in your business, why not do it with your
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family? And 10 intentional minutes can prevent an entire week of avoidable conversations,
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and it lets the children feel valued. Family closeness is not built only
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through vacations, holidays, and photographs. It's built in daily ordinary moments
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when people feel seen, guided, safe, and responsible.
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And then let's talk career. Career growth is where people often overestimate
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the power of ambition and underestimate the power of routine. They that a
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successful career does not create value unless you'd have a groundbreaking moment,
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but skill, reliability, judgment,
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relationships, and useful output create the value in careers long-term.
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Those are developed through habits. That's why when you can
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have a career habit include starting important work before checking every
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notification on your phone, continuing your education,
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follow up, document commitments, meet your deadlines.
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Get a certification if you need to, and ask people for feedback,
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what they think of you, not just what you think of them. Improve your
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weak skills and maintain professional relationships.
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These all things make measuring results instead of confusing activities
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with progress, because you can get into a job, do stuff for
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an entire year that doesn't move the needle, and then wonder why
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you're not getting promoted. You need to constantly reevaluate.
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And look at what you're doing. There's a difference between having a busy day and
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producing something that matters. You can get in and check email all day long
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and you didn't produce anything. You can answer messages for 8
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hours and avoid the one task that would have moved your business forward.
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Maybe you need to do something with your accounting. Maybe you need to do something
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with your marketing and you're avoiding it. But why? You can attend meetings all
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day long, redesign your logo 15 different ways, and reorganize your desk.
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While never making that sales call that needed to happen or writing that
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chapter or submitting the proposal or finishing the product or project
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that you needed to complete. This is productive procrastination. That's really what it
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is. You're procrastinating all day long. It looks responsible because you're at
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your job, you're working, you're protecting yourself from criticism while keeping
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you safely away from the work that can be judged.
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But the future version of you does not merely work harder.
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You need to learn to work smarter. You need to work with greater intention.
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You need to know which actions create results and give those actions protected
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time because our time is so limited on this planet. Don't give it
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away to projects or things that don't move you forward.
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Don't waste your time on inadequate things. Choose one career
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habit that directly produces value. It may be
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1 hour of uninterrupted writing, maybe 5 meaningful
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client contacts every day, 30 minutes of skill development,
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1 recruiting conversation, every day and create
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a habit around it and make those most important things happen before noon,
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because then you can track it. Track your output, not just your effort.
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Effort matters, but the marketplace responds to value
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created. So if you're not creating any value, you're not going to
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get rewarded because you're not creating anything. If your career is not progressing, do not
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immediately assume you're undervalued. Examine whether your habits are producing evidence
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at the level you expect to be rewarded. When your habits conflict,
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one reason changes difficult is that our habits often compete
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with each other. You may have a habit of working late that
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conflicts with your health goals. You may have a habit of avoiding
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conflict that undermines your relationship goals. You may say family
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is priority while giving your phone the best of your attention all the time and
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ignoring your family when you're sitting right next to them. You may want career growth
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while surrounding yourself with people who treat ambition like a character flaw and
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constantly complain about money. When goals conflict, Your calendar
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reveals the winner. Your consistency reveals the winner, and your habits
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are their truth tellers. This is where you need a hierarchy of values. You cannot
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give every goal maximum attention every single day.
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You have to prioritize. You have to decide what must remain protected.
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During one session, you can require extra hours in one
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area if it's a priority. During another, maybe your health is more
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important or your family. Every season is different. A temporary imbalance can
24:11
be intentional. Permanent neglect is something else. Which habit is helping
24:15
one goal while damaging another? Perhaps you do not need to
24:19
stop working hard. You need a firm stopping time. Perhaps you
24:23
do not need to give up social time. You just need friends who support your
24:27
standards. Maybe it's time to change your friend group. Perhaps you do not need
24:31
a perfect morning routine. You need to prepare the night before. Better habits often
24:35
come from better design, not stronger willpower. Your environment
24:39
matters too. Your environment either makes a habit easier or forces you
24:44
to negotiate your with yourself over time. If you can't find something,
24:47
you're spending all your time looking for something that's going to really have a detrimental
24:51
impact on your time use. If you want to eat differently, arrange your kitchen so
24:56
the better choice is visible and available, or just don't buy the groceries that
25:00
are bad for you. If you want to read, place the book where you normally
25:03
reach for your phone. If you want focused work, turn off notifications
25:07
during the day and create a protected block of calendar, or put your
25:11
phone in the drawer and turn it off. If you want healthier relationships, stop giving
25:14
immediate access to people who repeatedly disturb your peace. Add friction
25:19
to habits you want to reduce and make it easier for the habits you want
25:22
to increase. Remove the app. Stop buying that food. Move the
25:26
television out of the bedroom, for Pete's sakes. Unsubscribe from the distractions. You don't
25:31
have to be on every social media app. If it's not leading you to
25:34
a better place in your life, maybe it's time to get rid of some of
25:38
them or create distances from the person who keeps inviting
25:41
you back into the same destructive cycle. You know who they are.
25:45
Reduce friction for your habits as well. If you have habits
25:49
you want to increase, find ways to make it easier. Prepare your clothes the night
25:53
before so you can get up and go to the gym. Schedule your appointments in
25:56
advance and automate payments for your bills. That way you don't spend so
26:00
much time paying them. Put your workout on your calendar so you get
26:04
there every day and put a reminder in. Decide tomorrow's priority before today's
26:07
end. Every night you should be deciding. You should still develop
26:11
willpower, but there's no prize for making every good decision unnecessarily
26:16
difficult. Use your environment intelligently. Don't let your environment
26:20
negatively impact you. Maybe you need to organize your house,
26:23
get rid of some stuff. I'm purging right now. That can help
26:27
with your habits. So today, if you can, take out a piece of paper.
26:30
If you're not, if you're driving, don't do this. Under each section,
26:34
answer 5 questions. Who do I want to become in
26:37
this area? Whether it's your health, maybe your finances, your career,
26:42
your family, your relationships. And do not write only in outcomes.
26:45
Don't say, I just want to lose weight. You need to be specific. I want
26:48
to become, I want to weigh a specific amount by a certain
26:51
date. I want a promotion by a certain date. And then secondly,
26:55
which habit supports your identity? Give yourself credit for
26:59
what is already working, but also growth is easier when you build from evidence.
27:03
Instead of acting as if you have never done anything right.
27:06
So figure out what habits will help you improve your identity.
27:10
Which current habits contradicts this identity? So be honest,
27:13
because this is the time to answer no and take things out of
27:17
your life that obviously are not working for you. Are you skipping workouts because
27:21
you have to drive all the way across town to get to your gym when
27:24
there's a gym 2 minutes from your house you could walk to?
27:27
It may be subtle, like staying up late scrolling because nighttime
27:32
is the only time you feel no one needs you. But maybe you put a
27:35
timer on your phone. I've recently done that. I put timers on my phones for
27:38
social media. So I only have 30 minutes a day for social media. That was
27:42
a huge help. The goal is not to shame yourself. The goal is to identify
27:47
what is actually happening. And sometimes we have to put boundaries around ourselves.
27:51
Fourth, next question. What is the smallest repeatable action
27:54
that would cast a better vote for you? Choose something specific.
27:58
Maybe you need to be healthier. Maybe you need to wait. For an hour before
28:01
you have breakfast. Maybe you need to work on improving your relationships or
28:05
have a phone-free check-in every day with your children or family.
28:09
And then if it's growing your career, maybe growing your career is not a habit,
28:12
but if it is, maybe you need to spend 60 minutes on education a
28:15
day in your career field, not 3 hours doing email.
28:19
Fifth, when and where will you do it? You gotta make a decision.
28:23
Life is fleeting and passes us by. A habit without a time and place remains
28:27
just a wish. It's a Attach it to something that already
28:31
is happening or put it together so you can make little tiny incremental
28:35
improvements on a daily basis. Maybe you're going to walk after coffee. Maybe you'll
28:39
review your daily priorities every night before you go to bed after dinner. Maybe you
28:43
take a family walk. That's what my children and I do now. We take a
28:46
family walk every night before bed. Before I agree to a request,
28:50
you're going to have to check your calendar and time block things. Every Friday,
28:54
you can review what your work actually produced. And then you can also
28:58
review. You need to track things. Data collection is all about
29:01
tracking. Then run this experiment for 30 days. Just every single
29:05
day, do the 5 or 6 habits. Every 30 days, implement a new 5
29:09
or 6 habits and see how much you grow. If you miss something, you get
29:12
sick, you have to travel, you have surgery, your schedule changes,
29:15
or the goal is not to— it's not to build a life so rigid that
29:18
one interruption breaks it. It's when you miss it, do 3 things.
29:22
First, tell the truth about why you missed it. Do not create drama
29:26
around it or an excuse. Tell the truth to yourself. Second, identify where
29:30
the failure came from in the habit itself or the way
29:34
you designed it. Sometimes the failure is the habit itself.
29:37
Sometimes it's just because we made it too complicated or too much.
29:41
Maybe you want to go from walking 5,000 steps to walking
29:44
30,000 steps a day. That's, that's tough. Maybe you need to increase
29:49
it over time. So that may be in the habit itself. And then third,
29:52
return at the next reasonable opportunity. You might have
29:56
to modify the habit, but do not wait for next Monday. If you can get
29:58
back to walking tomorrow, do that. Here's your challenge for the week. Choose one identity
30:03
statement as well. I am becoming a woman who does what? Complete the sentence in
30:07
the way you want to. Make your habit around it. I want you to have
30:09
habits in every single area, not just one. Keep it small enough though
30:14
to repeat it meaningfully and then check it off every day that you've done it.
30:16
That's one vote in your column. At the end of the week, do not ask
30:20
whether you became a completely different person. Ask whether you became better
30:24
than you were the day before or the week before. This is how confidence will
30:28
grow for you as well. Not from telling yourself that you are capable while repeatedly
30:32
breaking your own commitments, but by giving yourself reason to trust
30:36
yourself again and to trust what you say. Your future is not created
30:40
only in the moments that feel important. It is created through the choices
30:44
that seem too small to matter. The daily consistent habits,
30:48
the meal, the bedtime, the boundary, the apology, All those
30:51
things help. The phone call to the person you really wanna talk to. Maybe you
30:55
wrote a page in your— in a book. Maybe you made a promise and you
30:58
kept it. Those decisions begin to help you trust yourself again.
31:02
Your habits are always voting. They are voting for your health or against
31:06
it. They are voting for your stronger relationships or recurring confessions and
31:09
confusions. They are voting for a connected family or distracted
31:14
household. They are voting for professional growth or continual frustration.
31:17
You get to choose. You don't have to become your future self overnight or
31:21
today. You do need to stop asking your current habits to produce a future
31:25
though. They were never designed to create. Build your habits off the person
31:30
you wanna become. Repeat them until discipline becomes character. Then let
31:34
the character shape the life you once thought required a miracle.
31:38
That's how you build a life, a high-value life. If this episode
31:42
made you think about the votes you're casting, share it with someone. Who is
31:45
ready to make a change in their life and embrace that change. Follow The Diva
31:50
Details wherever you listen and leave a review so other people can find the show.
31:54
And again, feel free to reach out if you have an idea or you want
31:57
me to talk about something, feel free. Until the next time, pay attention, stay strong,
32:01
and love your life you choose.
32:11
Visit thedivadetails.com to connect.
32:15
See you next week for more.
32:20
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32:27
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32:47
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