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151. The Amethyst Theory · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hey, hey, welcome to the show team.
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  Thank you for being here today. In this episode, I want to talk
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  about something that I call the Amethyst theory and I'll explain
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  what that means. We often talk about the stories
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  that we tell ourselves, especially in this realm, this
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  idea of coaching and and self exploration and self-awareness,
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  the perspectives we have and how they inform us about the world
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  around us. Perspectives, really, Simply
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  put, are just ways of seeing something.
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  It's a way of seeing a circumstance or a situation.
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  Often ask a client what's your perspective on what's happening
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  here? And they'll say, oh, my
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  perspective is that this is really hard, or they're not
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  prioritizing this the way I am, or I'm fighting an uphill
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  battle. It's what we see and how we
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  interpret what we see that create the perspective.
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  And perspectives could sound like this.
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  Christmas isn't Christmas without snow.
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  Well, we know that Christmas often happens without snow, so
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  that's very much perspective. Another one might be coffee
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  doesn't count as breakfast. Well, a lot of people believe
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  that it does. A real vacation means getting on
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  a plane. Definitely a perspective because
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  a lot of people go on a vacation without getting on a plane.
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  Success means having a big house, huh?
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  Or maybe morning people are more disciplined.
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  It's all a perspective. And the problem is we can be
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  stuck in our perspectives over time.
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  We can say, oh, that's the way it is, that's truth.
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  We look at something in the same way for so long.
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  We start to see these things as being fixed.
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  And if we repeat the perspectives in our minds enough
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  times, they can become this rutted neural pathway in our
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  brain, something we default to until it's not even recognizable
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  as a perspective, but we think of it as a truth or a fact,
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  something that just is. It becomes a part of our
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  identity. Success means having a big house
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  that's just something we believe is so many times, right?
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  A perspective that becomes a belief that becomes part of our
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  identity. Do you know anyone like this who
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  has just a really strong belief about something, but it's very
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  obvious to you that it's perspective because other people
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  have different beliefs about the same thing?
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  It happens all the time. We see this in our friends, our
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  family, the people around us. Belief versus perspective.
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  It can be tricky. And this happens so much when we
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  talk about quote, UN quote those people or we get into the US
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  versus them mentality. Our perspectives create a sense
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  of otherness in regard to groups of people outside of the group
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  of people that we're in, whether it's in respect to religion or
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  politics or what city or state or country you live in, or
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  whether you're from the South or the North or even what you like
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  your preferences. And when we get stuck or fixed
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  in our perspectives, it gets really hard to hear the
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  perspectives of other people. So then we're at an impasse with
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  others and communication starts to break down.
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  Or we're operating in silos and we talk only to people who agree
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  with us or think like us. Social media I think these days
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  is 1 of the biggest drivers of this in modern day, specifically
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  because of algorithms. Every person is holding their
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  own handheld device that has a different unique algorithm that
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  is curating their social media feed based on what they click or
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  like or even pause to read. It's insane how every tiny
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  little action and move you make on social or even on your news
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  feed is another degree of curation that you add to your
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  layered feed. And then the algorithm starts
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  feeding you more of what you've liked or clicked or paused to
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  read and the cycle continues. What is the result of that?
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  It's millions of people who have differently curated social feeds
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  based on their behavior, showing them only what aligns with their
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  behavior. And so they think that it's
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  truth. What they're being shown is the
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  absolute truth that what they're seeing is the only information
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  or context there is. It's the only way.
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  There are no other sides, and there's no other way to be.
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  It's frightening, and if you don't think much about this or
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  you don't know how powerful this can be, just go watch some of
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  the documentaries there are out there on social media or
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  influencers, or how algorithms influence behavior.
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  Or start looking at the younger generation and seeing how they
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  dress and what they say, how it's kind of all the same.
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  It's incredible what our teens come to us with, just our own
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  two teenagers, some of the things that they've heard or the
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  ideas that they come to us with, and they don't even have social
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  media. But it's the power of the herd.
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  And one message can spread without any context or any
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  factual evidence aside from I saw this online.
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  And so it can be this snowball effect.
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  But this isn't even the real message of this episode.
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  The real message is that we can choose a different way.
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  We can use an analogy to remind us to see all sides.
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  And I call that the amethyst theory.
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  Have you ever seen an amethyst? It happens to be my birthstone.
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  So I've always had these crystals around me since I was a
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  little, and I remember thinking to myself when I was a kid,
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  these rocks aren't as cool as they're crystals.
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  These amethysts aren't very cool.
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  The first ones I got, I think were kind of cheap, and they're
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  like these hard Gray rocks. When you look at an amethyst,
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  it's kind of plain on the outside.
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  It's all brown or Gray, and it's got this thick shell.
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  It just kind of looks like an ordinary rock until you crack it
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  open and you see what's on the inside, which is the classic
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  purple crystals that are actually so beautiful and
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  incredible and they they grow into these large crystalline
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  formations. Some of these amethyst
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  formations are huge, and if you've ever had one on your desk
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  like I do now, one side is often the ordinary rock side and the
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  other side is the purple crystal inside.
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  So say you're standing looking at a huge amethyst in a case,
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  and you are asked to describe what you're looking at.
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  If you're looking at the rock side, you might think this looks
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  ugly. You might describe a a grayish
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  rock with some holes in it, some sharp edges, maybe with some
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  brown or dark lines going through it.
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  But there's another person standing on the other side of
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  the case, and they're asked to describe what they see, and they
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  see the purple crystals. They're like, wow, this thing is
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  incredible. It's purple and it's shimmering,
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  and the light is bouncing in all these directions off these large
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  crystal formations. Some of it's deep purple, and
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  other parts you can almost see right through white clear
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  crystal. Well, who's right?
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  Who's right in their description of what they're seeing in the
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  case? You're both right, aren't you?
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  And that's the power of perspective, the viewpoint from
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  which you are seeing something and the interpretation of what
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  you're seeing. You look at that amethyst and
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  you say, toss this rock, it's worthless, just Gray, brown
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  rock. And the other person says, this
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  is awesome, we should definitely keep this.
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  You're seeing different things. And so now what if we apply this
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  to life, the amethyst theory, it reminds us that sometimes people
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  are seeing the Gray, sharp side and some are seeing the
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  crystals, but they're looking at the same damn rock.
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  And both can be true and both are valid in their viewpoints.
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  But we've gotten out of the habit of doing this, and it's
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  problematic for so many reasons. It leads to a lot of
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  miscommunication and division and so much polarity.
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  But if we think about our impact, the amethyst theory
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  becomes a really important guideline because it helps us to
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  see other sides, to get multiple perspectives, to hear other
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  people's viewpoints. And with that context, we have a
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  more complete understanding and we have more information to make
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  good decisions and to understand people and then be able to work
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  around roadblocks, see if we're going to be good leaders who
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  have positive impact, we have to have the skill of gaining
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  perspective. You have to be able to challenge
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  your own beliefs so that you have better self-awareness.
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  And if that's not enough, just think of it as improving your
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  ability to not be narrow minded and naive.
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  Next time you're in a conversation with somebody that
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  you don't agree with, think about the amethyst theory.
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  What are you not seeing? Is someone seeing crystals where
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  you only see Gray rock or vice versa?
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  Can you be open to the idea that your way or their way might not
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  be the only way or the only perspective?
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  It's a game changer team, and it's a great reminder that we
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  are always filtering information through our own curated filters
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  from our life experiences and none of us know it all.
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  So my challenge to you this week is to use the Amethyst theory.
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  Test it out, See what happens, see what perspectives you learn
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  about and what context opens up before your eyes.
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  I guarantee it's going to shift the way you think.
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  That's all for today. Thank you for being here and for
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  listening. And as always, thank you for
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  being ready to impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and recognize that you.
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  Are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to. The show for more I truly
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  appreciate. You thanks again for being here.