Latest / Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess / The Five Candles of Contentment | Episode #460

Transcript

The Five Candles of Contentment | Episode #460 · Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to today's show, Legacy Living, Make Your
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Speaker 1: Life Count. I'm your host, Doctor Gloria Gloria Burgess, international
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Speaker 1: leadership expert and trusted advisor. Welcome to Legacy Living, Make
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Speaker 1: your Life Count. I'm so delighted that you joined me today.
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Speaker 1: Today's episode is all about being on purpose. We are
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Speaker 1: going to talk about what it is, what it means,
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Speaker 1: and why it's so important for people of all ages,
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Speaker 1: why it's important in your family, at work, and with
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Speaker 1: your friends. So what does it mean to be on purpose?
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Speaker 1: To live on purpose? That's a great question, isn't it.
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Speaker 1: Being on purpose is about being focused, deliberate, committed and aligned. Focused, deliberate,
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Speaker 1: committed and aligned with whatever has heart and meaning for you.
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Speaker 1: In other words, being on purpose is about being intentional.
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Speaker 1: Like anything else that you want to nurture, that you
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Speaker 1: want to cultivate as a habit, you have to practice, practice,
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Speaker 1: and then practice some more. That's right. If you want
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Speaker 1: to be more intentional about being on purpose, let me
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Speaker 1: just tell you that now is the time. Don't wait.
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Speaker 1: Today is the day. Now is the time to lighten
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Speaker 1: your load, to drop tomorrow's worries, to say so long,
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Speaker 1: to yesterday's baggage. Why, because today is enough. You are enough.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to make the most of every day.
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Speaker 1: There are no guarantees how many days we will get.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to seek authenticity, to be genuine.
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Speaker 1: Guess what Being authentic, being genuine will set you apart.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to be you. Take time to
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Speaker 1: discover yourself, find your unique you. Now is the time
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Speaker 1: to cherish your memories, relive them, learn from them, hand
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Speaker 1: them down to your children. Then go and add to
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Speaker 1: those memories. Now is the time to cherish your family,
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Speaker 1: treasure your time with them. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: look beyond yourself, to think of other people. Look where
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Speaker 1: you can help, and do it with selfless passion. Now
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Speaker 1: is the time to try kindness, to step outside of
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Speaker 1: your world. Chances are there are many many people who
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Speaker 1: are caught up in struggles. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: spread love. Why because it gives us meaning, It brings compassion,
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Speaker 1: and gives us new eyes. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: embrace your challenges. Look upon them as opportunities. Use them
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Speaker 1: to strengthen your resolve to gain wisdom and compassion. Now
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Speaker 1: is the time to fight for justice, to stand up
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Speaker 1: when you know something is wrong to support others who
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Speaker 1: promote righteousness. Now is the time to keep trying. When
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Speaker 1: things are not going your way, believe in yourself, keep going.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to watch the sunrise, since the stillness,
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Speaker 1: enjoy the warmth, marvel at renewal. Now is the time
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Speaker 1: to care for our planet. We hold its future in
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Speaker 1: our hands. Make your commitment. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: find and your inner leader. We all have an inner leader.
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Speaker 1: We all have an inner leader within us. Now is
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Speaker 1: the time. Now is the time to live in the present.
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Speaker 1: Your time is precious, spend it wisely. In other words,
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Speaker 1: now is the time to be intentional. Now is the
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Speaker 1: time to be on purpose. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: celebrate the amazing, magnificent music of your life. Because, as
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Speaker 1: I always say in the Grand Song of the Universe,
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Speaker 1: life is short and very very precious. So make the
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Speaker 1: days in your life life count. One of the ways
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Speaker 1: that I keep myself on purpose is to take time
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Speaker 1: to reflect. In fact, I love nothing more than having
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Speaker 1: a few hours each day, or an entire day, an
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Speaker 1: entire weekend to simply kick back and take the time
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Speaker 1: to reflect. Now, reflection, true reflection, is a time to
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Speaker 1: look again. Traditionally, especially in Western culture, we take time
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Speaker 1: to reflect at the start of the new year, right now.
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Speaker 1: Why do we do this because the new year is
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Speaker 1: considered to be a time of new beginnings, a time
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Speaker 1: of transition, doorways, gates, passages, and endings. In fact, our
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Speaker 1: month of January is named after Janus. In Roman myth
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Speaker 1: and religion, Janus is usually depicted as having two faces,
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Speaker 1: since he looks to the future and to the past.
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Speaker 1: So in Western culture, and I probably should say Northern
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Speaker 1: hemisphere Western culture, we often think of January as an
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Speaker 1: opening the doorway to new beginnings, to transitions, and to endings.
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Speaker 1: So January opens the door to reflection. Well that's great,
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Speaker 1: that's all well and good. Right. However, you know what,
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Speaker 1: we can open that door to reflection at any time
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Speaker 1: of the year. We can step back and take time
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Speaker 1: to reflect on our life whenever we want to be
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Speaker 1: intentional about taking stock of where we are, where we've been,
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Speaker 1: and where we want to go. Let me ask you
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Speaker 1: a question, do you know how to be reflective? I
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Speaker 1: often incorporate reflection into the courses I teach, and I
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Speaker 1: always include reflection when I lead retreats. Why because Reflection
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Speaker 1: is one of the many ways we can slow down
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Speaker 1: so that we can remember who we are, whose we are,
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Speaker 1: and what's important to us. When we take time to
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Speaker 1: pause and slow down from our typical hectic pace and
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Speaker 1: to breathe, we actually usher in the spaciousness of time.
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Speaker 1: We actually have the time to become conscious and aware
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Speaker 1: and to digest and metabolize what we've achieved. Or when
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Speaker 1: we consciously and intentionally digest and metabolize who we are,
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Speaker 1: whose we are, and what we do, we can actually
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Speaker 1: then begin to integrate all of that into our lives. Now,
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Speaker 1: reflection doesn't have to be hard work, but make no
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Speaker 1: mistake about it, it is work. Here are some questions
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Speaker 1: you can ask yourself to help you track, digest, metabolize,
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Speaker 1: and integrate the various arenas of your life. Now, I'm
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Speaker 1: going to invite you to write these questions down. Okay,
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Speaker 1: so grab a bad pen, pencil, your notepad, your iPad,
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Speaker 1: whatever you happen to have. Here are the questions. What
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Speaker 1: goals or milestones have I at you? What goals or
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Speaker 1: milestones have I achieved? What can I improve on? Where
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Speaker 1: am I stuck? What is keeping me stuck or holding
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Speaker 1: me in place holding me back? Now? Again, these are
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Speaker 1: questions to help you track, digest, metabolize, and integrate the
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Speaker 1: various arenas of your life. Now, I'm going to repeat
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Speaker 1: those questions in case you were, you know, running around
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Speaker 1: trying to get your notepad. What goals or milestones have
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Speaker 1: I achieved? What can I improve on? Where am I stuck?
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Speaker 1: What's keeping me stuck or holding me in place? What's
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Speaker 1: holding me back right now? We all lead such busy,
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Speaker 1: busy lives that are accomplishments. Our achievements often get buried
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Speaker 1: in the daily minutia. We forget or we don't even
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Speaker 1: notice sometimes our own efforts. That's why I'd like to
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Speaker 1: take a moment to remember all the people I've met,
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Speaker 1: the meetings I've had, the conferences I've attended, the articles
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Speaker 1: or posts or books I've written, the projects I've tackled,
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Speaker 1: the things I've read. Doing so helps me become conscious
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Speaker 1: of how I've moved forward as well as what threw
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Speaker 1: me off track right, the things that were not aligned
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Speaker 1: with who I am and whose I am. Reflection can
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Speaker 1: actually help you get clarity about how to stop living
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Speaker 1: on autopilot and start living the life you want, which
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Speaker 1: is the kind of life we all want, right, and
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Speaker 1: that's a life of satisfaction and contentment. Now that sounds
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Speaker 1: pretty wonderful to me. How about you? And did you
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Speaker 1: know you can start today? You can begin nurturing and
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Speaker 1: cultivating your own contentment today. That's right. Here's how you
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Speaker 1: do it. Here are a few tips for cultivating contentment
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Speaker 1: in your life. Now, despite what you see in the
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Speaker 1: movies or read in romance novels or fairy tales, true
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Speaker 1: contentment doesn't just magically happen to you. Poof No, that
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Speaker 1: kind of life doesn't just magically appear, but it is
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Speaker 1: something you can make happen. In fact, that's something you
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Speaker 1: can actually cultivate. So let's take a look at what
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Speaker 1: this is all about. Science tells us what spiritual leaders
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Speaker 1: have known and told us for thousands of years. What's
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Speaker 1: that We can all be happy, we can actually take charge,
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Speaker 1: we can actually control our own contentment. Science tells us
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Speaker 1: that circumstances make very little difference in how contented people are.
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Speaker 1: In fact, research reveals that happiness, which is a key
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Speaker 1: aspect of contentment, is due to personality. More importantly, we
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Speaker 1: can change our thoughts and behaviors, which means we can
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Speaker 1: actually learn how to shift our pattern. So, yes, you
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Speaker 1: can learn how to be happy or at least happier.
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Speaker 1: Right now, many of us believe that happiness is the
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Speaker 1: result of having oodles and oodles of money, you know,
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Speaker 1: being rich wealthy, or being beautiful, or being blissfully thin,
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Speaker 1: or being free from the very real dangers of being
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Speaker 1: stressed out. But here's the reality. Most of the folks
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Speaker 1: who are financially well off or so called beautiful by
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Speaker 1: the world standards, and even those who are less stressed,
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Speaker 1: guess what, they are not happier on average than those
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Speaker 1: who don't enjoy financial wealth or beauty or lower stress
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Speaker 1: in their lives. People who are happy seem to know
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Speaker 1: that their happiness is the result that their happiness is
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Speaker 1: the sum total of their choices in life. Okay, so
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Speaker 1: it's a sum total of the choices that we make.
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Speaker 1: Those who are happy, those who routinely experience contentment in
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Speaker 1: their lives, have built their lives and their life style
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Speaker 1: on a similar foundation. And guess what you can too.
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Speaker 1: Let's take a look at what I call the five
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Speaker 1: intentional pillars of contentment. The five intentional pillars of contentment.
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Speaker 1: The first pillar is all about devoting time and energy
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Speaker 1: to your relationships. The second is appreciating who you are
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Speaker 1: and what you have. The third pillar is about cultivating
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Speaker 1: an optimistic attitude, the fourth having a steadfast sense of purpose,
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Speaker 1: and the fifth one, the fifth pillar is living in
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Speaker 1: the present moment. So let's take a closer look at
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Speaker 1: each one of these pillars now. The first one is
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Speaker 1: devoting yourself to your relationships, devoting time and energy. One
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Speaker 1: of the best gifts we can give to someone else
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Speaker 1: is the gift of attention. For many people, that's what
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Speaker 1: love is. Attention. We can give our attention to those
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Speaker 1: we love in many many ways. These days, listening, simply
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Speaker 1: listening can be a huge gift. In a lovely little
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Speaker 1: book called A Father's Book of Listening, doctor Mark Brady
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Speaker 1: teaches us how to be a great listener. In this book,
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Speaker 1: Brady focuses on a father and son relationship. But one
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Speaker 1: of the reasons I love this gem of a book
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Speaker 1: is that you can apply his lessons to any kind
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Speaker 1: of relationationship. His pearls of experience and wisdom apply to
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Speaker 1: our friendships, our relationships with our teammates at work, our
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Speaker 1: relationships with our spouses, even with people we don't know
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Speaker 1: yet but would like to know better. He says, when
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Speaker 1: we listen. When we listen to people, often what we
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Speaker 1: listen for are the things we understand or the things
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Speaker 1: we agree with. We actually find great comfort in discovering
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Speaker 1: the ways that they are like us. Now, when our
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Speaker 1: kids or other people say things or act differently than us, it,
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Speaker 1: you know, can make us uncomfortable, and when they turn
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Speaker 1: out to be very different from us, it can make
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Speaker 1: us extremely uncomfortable. We don't necessarily like to see or
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Speaker 1: hear about differences. Brady goes on to say, a listening
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Speaker 1: father deliberately seeks out and pays attention to the ways
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Speaker 1: our kids are different from us. And that's the same
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Speaker 1: thing we do in our other relationships. Right, we begin
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Speaker 1: to appreciate the ways they've been shaped, molded, and often
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Speaker 1: distorted by culture, schooling, family of origin, genetic makeup, and
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Speaker 1: any number of unknown factors like snowflakes. No two people,
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Speaker 1: no two children out of the billions and billions are
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Speaker 1: ever exactly alike. Now, after we've learned to listen to
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Speaker 1: differences and to develop an appreciation for them in our kids,
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Speaker 1: our friends, our spouses, our coworkers, we can actually cherish
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Speaker 1: and celebrate their special uniqueness. This perspective allows us to
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Speaker 1: deeply appreciate the power and beauty in complexity and in diversity.
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Speaker 1: Now here's another thing about contentment. And this might sound simple,
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Speaker 1: but sometimes it's pretty hard to do. So what am
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Speaker 1: I talking about. I'm talking about surrounding yourself with positive people.
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Speaker 1: That's right, surround yourself with folks who are satisfied and content.
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Speaker 1: Did you know that being in the presence of a positive,
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Speaker 1: contented person actually lifts your own energy, your own vibration,
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Speaker 1: so to speak, which alters or changes your mood. It
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Speaker 1: changes your energy. And by being positive yourself, you can
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Speaker 1: actually charge up, so to speak. You can charge up
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Speaker 1: the folks around you. You can change the atmosphere. And
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Speaker 1: in this sense, you are actually giving something back. You're
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Speaker 1: giving something back and that's a positive change to the
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Speaker 1: people around you. Now, that makes a wonderful gift that
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Speaker 1: you can offer to your family, your friends, your coworkers,
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Speaker 1: your neighbors. How cool is that your family and friends
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Speaker 1: and other loved ones help you celebrate the music of
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Speaker 1: your life, your joys, your triumphs, your challenges, and your successes.
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Speaker 1: Your family and friends and other loved ones also lend
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Speaker 1: you their support when times are hard. Maybe you just
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Speaker 1: received a difficult diagnosis from your doctor, or maybe you
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Speaker 1: just learned that your job will be cut or you'll
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Speaker 1: be furloughed, or perhaps one of your children is going
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Speaker 1: through very difficult times in a significant relationship. Whatever the
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Speaker 1: challenge is, your family and friends can be a lifeline.
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Speaker 1: And although it's easy to take your lifeline for granted,
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Speaker 1: your support network. Your relationships with your family and friends
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Speaker 1: need nurturing. Just like any other living, breathing person or
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Speaker 1: thing in our lives. You can nurture and cultivate relationships
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Speaker 1: and build up your emotional bank account. So to speak
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Speaker 1: through kindness. Kindness in your words and in your actions.
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Speaker 1: So be gentle and gracious with the words you use
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Speaker 1: in conversations, in your emails, in your text messages, and
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Speaker 1: if you must correct or offer a critique, take good
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Speaker 1: care with the words you choose and be gracious in
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Speaker 1: how you offer your critique. Now, most of us probably
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Speaker 1: remember this saying from childhood. Sticks and stones may break
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Speaker 1: my bones, but words can never hurt me. Can I
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Speaker 1: just tell you something that is a lie? In reality?
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Speaker 1: Sticks and stones sometimes hurt far less than the words
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Speaker 1: we use. Words can hurt so badly that even though
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Speaker 1: someone hurled harmful, unhealthy words at you when you were
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Speaker 1: very young, six, seven, ten, fifteen years old, now as
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Speaker 1: an adult, when you recall those hurtful words, the pain
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Speaker 1: of memory that goes along with those words, the hurt,
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Speaker 1: the shame, the humiliation, the emotion, and the physical pain
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Speaker 1: of those words come flooding back, don't they. Doctor may
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Speaker 1: Angelo reminds us that although we will forget what people say,
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Speaker 1: we will never forget how they make us feel. That's
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Speaker 1: so true, so true. Okay, so let's talk about pillar
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Speaker 1: number two, and pillar number two is appreciating who you
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Speaker 1: are and what you have. This is all about letting
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Speaker 1: the folks in your life know, letting them know how
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Speaker 1: much you appreciate them. Not just what they do for you.
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Speaker 1: That's not what this is about. It's also about letting
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Speaker 1: them know how much you appreciate their presence in your life.
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Speaker 1: Let them know how delighted you are that they are
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Speaker 1: part of your life. Now. Gratitude is so much more
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Speaker 1: than saying thank you. As most of you know if
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Speaker 1: you missed my episode on gratitude be sure to download
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Speaker 1: it and listen to it now. Gratitude is all about
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Speaker 1: recognizing and acknowledging the power of blessings. That means blessings received,
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Speaker 1: blessings that are present right here and now, as well
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Speaker 1: as all of the blessings that you will receive in
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Speaker 1: the future. Gratitude is also about your sense of wonder
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Speaker 1: and awe and deep appreciation and thankfulness for life. It's
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Speaker 1: so easy to go through life without recognizing and acknowledging
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Speaker 1: our blessings. I mean, let's face it, for some of us,
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Speaker 1: we have to have something serious happen in our life,
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Speaker 1: like a bad accident or serious illness, or some other
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Speaker 1: traumatic event to wake us up, to wake us up
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Speaker 1: enough to appreciate the great people, things, and moments in
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Speaker 1: our lives. Let me tell you something, do not do
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Speaker 1: not wait for something tragic to happen to you. Wake up.
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Speaker 1: Make gratitude a practice in your life. Make it a habit,
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Speaker 1: just like brushing your teeth, eating your meals, exercising, meditating.
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Speaker 1: And I'm going to say, begin today, make your commitment.
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Speaker 1: Each day notice at least one thing, one thing, or
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Speaker 1: person or moment that has blessed your life. Now if
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Speaker 1: you find yourself being ungrateful or thinking about something negative,
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Speaker 1: or just you know, thinking about something in a negative way,
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Speaker 1: or if you find yourself wanting something that your friend
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Speaker 1: has or your neighbor has something that you don't have.
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Speaker 1: Instead of wanting and craving and desiring and yearning for
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Speaker 1: what someone else has that you don't, do this, Be
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Speaker 1: grateful for who you are, for your unique strengths and
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Speaker 1: gifts and faws, all of it. Be grateful for the
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Speaker 1: friends and family you have. Be grateful for the apartment
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Speaker 1: you live in, the house you live in, the street
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Speaker 1: you live on. Be grateful for the family members who
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Speaker 1: support you, the perfect strangers who support you. Be grateful
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Speaker 1: for who you are and what you already have. And
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Speaker 1: I'm not just talking about physical possessions. I'm talking about
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Speaker 1: those qualities, those character qualities that are also a part
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Speaker 1: of who you are. Sometimes we find ourselves thinking bad
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Speaker 1: or negative thoughts about someone else, sometimes even ourselves. Right now,
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Speaker 1: if that's you, instead of allowing that negative voice to
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Speaker 1: rule to take over in your head, I want you
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Speaker 1: to substitute a grateful voice, a grateful thought, for your
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Speaker 1: negative one. For example, if your sister forgot your birthday.
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Speaker 1: Instead of throwing yourself a pity party and moping around
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Speaker 1: and saying to yourself, my sister forgot to call me
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Speaker 1: on my birthday. Hey, substitute this thought instead. You know what,
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Speaker 1: my sister has always been there for me through thick
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Speaker 1: and thin, through good times and bad times, ups and downs.
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Speaker 1: My sister has always been there for me. Well, maybe
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Speaker 1: not all the time, but a lot of the time.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, Thank you, sister. Before you go
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Speaker 1: to bed, before you go to sleep each night, let
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Speaker 1: gratitude be your last thought, and when you wake up
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Speaker 1: each morning, let gratitude be your very first thought. Give
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Speaker 1: it a go. You will be surprised and happy about
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Speaker 1: how gratitude can actually change your life. So when you
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Speaker 1: cultivate and practice gratitude, you actually add to your contentment. Now,
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Speaker 1: let's take a look at that third pillar, which is
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Speaker 1: all about cultivating optimism. Now, we know that some people
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Speaker 1: are actually wired to see the glass as half empty
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Speaker 1: and other people are wired to see the exact same
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Speaker 1: glass as half full. Now, if you're one of those
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Speaker 1: people who habitually sees the glass as half empty, then
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Speaker 1: I encourage you to develop a new habit, a new
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Speaker 1: way of seeing and a new way of being. Develop
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Speaker 1: the habit of seeing the positive side of things. Do
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Speaker 1: not let what's negative in the world filter your whole
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Speaker 1: outlook on the rest of your life or on what's
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Speaker 1: going on in the world around you. DeWitt Jones is
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Speaker 1: a friend and an amazing photographer, and he reminds us
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Speaker 1: to celebrate, to celebrate what's right with the world. Now.
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Speaker 1: I just love that because what's good, what's right with
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Speaker 1: the world, far outweighs the negative. If you're not a
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Speaker 1: naturally optimistic person, it could take some time for you
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Speaker 1: to change your pessimistic thinking into optimistic thinking. So be
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Speaker 1: gracious with yourself, be gentle with yourself. You can begin
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Speaker 1: by simply becoming aware and by noticing your negative thoughts
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Speaker 1: as they filter in, and as they filter in, as
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Speaker 1: they come in, don't judge, just notice. The first step
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Speaker 1: is just noticing, and as your awareness increases, you can
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Speaker 1: then begin to ask yourself a few key questions. Is
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Speaker 1: what is happening right now? Really as bad as I
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Speaker 1: think it is? That's a great question, right, So when
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Speaker 1: those negative thoughts begin to, you know, come in flirt,
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Speaker 1: by ask it's what's happening right now really as bad
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Speaker 1: as I think it is. Another question is how might I?
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Speaker 1: How might I look at my situation differently? Love that one.
31:45
Speaker 1: Another question is how might I see one, just one
31:50
Speaker 1: positive in what's happening right now? Now? I love those
31:55
Speaker 1: how might I? Questions? Because how might I? Is actually
31:59
Speaker 1: what designs ask themselves all the time. So in this
32:02
Speaker 1: way you're designing, you're designing a positive stream and interrupting,
32:10
Speaker 1: disrupting that negative stream. So how might I see one
32:16
Speaker 1: positive in what's happening right now? Another question is how
32:20
Speaker 1: will I express my gratitude? Again, gratitude changes everything. How
32:26
Speaker 1: will I express my gratitude? And another question you can
32:31
Speaker 1: ask yourself is what can I learn from my experience?
32:38
Speaker 1: What can I learn from my experience? The fourth pillar
32:48
Speaker 1: is about finding your purpose. Now, people who have a
32:53
Speaker 1: mission or a sense of purpose show up differently than
32:57
Speaker 1: folks who don't have a mission or purpose. Their purpose
33:02
Speaker 1: could be caring for their family, being an exceptional team member,
33:07
Speaker 1: starting and growing a business, or writing books. Whatever their
33:14
Speaker 1: purpose is, they just seem to be more focused, more focused,
33:19
Speaker 1: and more contented than those who do not have a purpose.
33:24
Speaker 1: It's been said that the two most important days of
33:28
Speaker 1: your life are the day you were born and the
33:32
Speaker 1: day you figure out why. Having a sense of purpose
33:38
Speaker 1: gives us our why in the daily events of your life.
33:45
Speaker 1: Your day just goes better when you say yes, when
33:50
Speaker 1: you say yes to the circumstances and opportunities that align
33:54
Speaker 1: with your why. If you're not sure about your purpose,
34:01
Speaker 1: about your why, or if you're kinda sure but not
34:04
Speaker 1: quite clear yet, here are a few questions to ask yourself.
34:11
Speaker 1: The first question is who or what do I love?
34:17
Speaker 1: Not like, but love? Who or what am I passionate
34:22
Speaker 1: about right now? This question is a really important one
34:26
Speaker 1: because your core relationships provide a sense of meaning and
34:30
Speaker 1: purpose in your life, So be sure to cultivate meaningful,
34:36
Speaker 1: life giving, and life affirming relationships and let go of
34:39
Speaker 1: those that are not okay now. It's also important because
34:45
Speaker 1: your answer to this question will give you a sense
34:47
Speaker 1: of what brings you satisfaction and contentment in your life.
34:54
Speaker 1: So who or what do I love? Another question to
34:59
Speaker 1: ask yourself is am I engaged in work that I love?
35:05
Speaker 1: Or if you're a student, am I engaged in studies
35:07
Speaker 1: that I love? Right now? If you're like most people
35:10
Speaker 1: and you're working, you spend at least forty hours a
35:14
Speaker 1: week at work, sometimes much much more than that. Right
35:19
Speaker 1: when you think about it, you actually spend most of
35:21
Speaker 1: your waking hours working, So that makes it even more
35:26
Speaker 1: important to be engaged in work that provides you with
35:29
Speaker 1: a deep sense of meaning and purpose. Another question to
35:36
Speaker 1: ask yourself is what excites and energizes me? Now, If
35:42
Speaker 1: that's a hard question for you to answer, this next
35:48
Speaker 1: question will help you understand what excites and energizes you. Okay.
35:54
Speaker 1: It'll also help you determine who and what you love.
35:58
Speaker 1: This question can help you get more concrete. Okay. So
36:03
Speaker 1: the question is what are my proudest achievements? What are
36:08
Speaker 1: my proudest achievements? Now, if you can make a list
36:13
Speaker 1: of your proudest moments, your proudest achievements, those special people, moments, circumstances, events,
36:22
Speaker 1: this list will actually point you in the direction of
36:25
Speaker 1: who and what you love and who and what excites
36:31
Speaker 1: and energizes you. For example, if I were to share
36:35
Speaker 1: my list of my proudest achievements, one of them would
36:39
Speaker 1: be having my daughter, Another would be receiving my doctoral degree,
36:47
Speaker 1: another would be receiving recognition and awards for my writing
36:52
Speaker 1: the books I've written or contributed to. I mean, the
36:55
Speaker 1: list goes on and on and on, and then if
36:58
Speaker 1: I review that list, I would actually find some very
37:02
Speaker 1: meaningful clues about what gives me satisfaction and contentment, what
37:10
Speaker 1: gives me my deep sense of meaning and purpose, my why.
37:18
Speaker 1: A final question to ask yourself is this, how do
37:23
Speaker 1: I want others to remember me? Now? This question should
37:30
Speaker 1: reveal to you what kinds of qualities you have. Remember,
37:34
Speaker 1: people will forget what you say or do, but they
37:38
Speaker 1: will remember what and how you make them feel. So
37:44
Speaker 1: ask yourself, how do I make people feel? Do I
37:47
Speaker 1: make them feel welcome? Do I make them feel good
37:51
Speaker 1: about themselves? Do I lift them a little bit higher?
37:56
Speaker 1: Do I express love, kindness, generous city, and gratitude to
38:02
Speaker 1: those I know? To those I meet? How do I
38:07
Speaker 1: want others to remember me? Pillar number five is all
38:16
Speaker 1: about living in the moment. Now, A lot of people
38:20
Speaker 1: simply don't understand that today is a gift. I mean,
38:27
Speaker 1: they might get it mentally intellectually, but they don't really
38:31
Speaker 1: live it. Today is a gift. And you know what,
38:38
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is not promised. That's right, That's what I said.
38:45
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is not promised. In other words, do not put
38:50
Speaker 1: off or postpone your joy. Do not wait for that
38:56
Speaker 1: day when your life is less busy or less stressful.
39:01
Speaker 1: Why because that day may never come. Instead, look for
39:08
Speaker 1: opportunities to enjoy your roses today. Look for chances to
39:15
Speaker 1: savor the small moments, the small surprises, the small joys
39:22
Speaker 1: and pleasures of life every single day three sixty five
39:28
Speaker 1: twenty four to seven. We can learn a lot about
39:35
Speaker 1: how to do this by looking at and by listening
39:38
Speaker 1: to By paying attention to children, Most of the children
39:43
Speaker 1: I know understand how to live in the present. In fact,
39:48
Speaker 1: they are experts at it. Children focus on the many delights, joys,
39:54
Speaker 1: and positive experiences that are happening right now in this
39:59
Speaker 1: present moment. We could all take a page out of
40:02
Speaker 1: that book. If we did, we would truly enjoy today
40:08
Speaker 1: instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
40:14
Speaker 1: We can also learn a lot by cultivating what doctor
40:19
Speaker 1: Mark Brady calls beginner's ear. He describes this way of
40:24
Speaker 1: paying attention to the present moment as being open and curious.
40:30
Speaker 1: To gain a sense of what beginner's ear might be like.
40:34
Speaker 1: Think about how the sounds of the world affected you
40:38
Speaker 1: as a small child. Can you recall what it was
40:44
Speaker 1: like on a warm summer night when you heard your
40:49
Speaker 1: very first cricket chirp and then you heard the smaller details,
40:56
Speaker 1: the rhythm, the silence between chirps, and the answering call
41:04
Speaker 1: of the other crickets. Paying attention to and living in
41:13
Speaker 1: the present moment is paying attention to discriminating details. In fact,
41:21
Speaker 1: this is exactly what we must do to keep things
41:25
Speaker 1: from going in one ear and out the other. When
41:32
Speaker 1: we pay attention to and live in the present, we
41:36
Speaker 1: actually find the cure, the antidote, the remedy to our
41:41
Speaker 1: modern obsession with speed, speed at any cost, it seems,
41:49
Speaker 1: and the resulting sense of loneliness and alienation that can
41:56
Speaker 1: result from speeding from one adventure to the next, from
42:00
Speaker 1: one relationship to the next, from one experience to the next,
42:04
Speaker 1: without slowing down, to pause, to inhale and exhale, to
42:11
Speaker 1: fully experience and metabolize and appreciate the amazing weeks and months,
42:22
Speaker 1: the awesome moments, the many sumptuous and marvelous details in
42:29
Speaker 1: the days of our lives. Wow, We've covered a lot
42:42
Speaker 1: of ground today, So I just want to pause for
42:48
Speaker 1: a moment to breathe, to breathe in, to breathe out,
42:58
Speaker 1: to reflect on and summarize these key notes about contentment,
43:07
Speaker 1: about being on purpose and living on purpose. Remember, the
43:17
Speaker 1: folks who routinely experience contentment in their lives have built
43:22
Speaker 1: their lives and their lifestyles on the five pillars, the
43:28
Speaker 1: intentional pillars of contentment. They devote time and energy to
43:33
Speaker 1: their family and friends. They appreciate who and what they have.
43:40
Speaker 1: They have an optimistic outlook on life. They have a steadfast,
43:46
Speaker 1: solid sense of purpose, and they live in the present moment.
43:54
Speaker 1: So that's how you do it. That's how you live
43:58
Speaker 1: on purpose. That's how you make your life count so
44:04
Speaker 1: that you can be the change you seek. Now, remember,
44:10
Speaker 1: how you live is how you lead. It's how you
44:13
Speaker 1: do everything. You have the power to make your world,
44:19
Speaker 1: to make our world a better place. As you delve
44:25
Speaker 1: into your day, I sure hope that it is filled
44:30
Speaker 1: with love and joy and gratitude and grace. All right,
44:38
Speaker 1: I want you to be sure to listen to this
44:40
Speaker 1: episode again and again, and hey be sure to tell somebody,
44:46
Speaker 1: Tell your family and friends. You can find me right
44:50
Speaker 1: here on iTunes Audible. Alexa SoundCloud, iHeart, tune in, spreaker,
44:58
Speaker 1: dot com, Talk Network Radio, and so many other places. Now,
45:04
Speaker 1: if you happen to miss any part of this week's show,
45:08
Speaker 1: or if you missed last week's episode, you can simply
45:11
Speaker 1: download the recording and listen to it at your convenience.
45:15
Speaker 1: You can even listen to it on the go. Check
45:19
Speaker 1: us out at www dot talknetwork Radio dot com. Forward
45:26
Speaker 1: Slash Hosts, Forward Slash Legacy Living. That's Talknetwork Radio dot com.
45:34
Speaker 1: Forward Slash Hosts Forward Slash Legacy Living. You can learn
45:40
Speaker 1: more about my work and Legacy Living. Make your life
45:45
Speaker 1: count by visiting the Gloria Burgess website, and you can
45:50
Speaker 1: subscribe to my inspiring words right on my website. Just
45:54
Speaker 1: scroll down a bit look on the right sidebar until
45:58
Speaker 1: you see the place to add your email to subscribe
46:01
Speaker 1: to my weekly inspirations. It's that simple. So again, to
46:07
Speaker 1: learn more about me and my work, just browse a
46:09
Speaker 1: bit on my website or visit me on LinkedIn or
46:13
Speaker 1: on Facebook, and you can find me on Facebook at
46:17
Speaker 1: Facebook dot com. Forward slash Dr for doctor Dr Gloria Burgess,
46:25
Speaker 1: pH d. You can also check out one of my
46:29
Speaker 1: ted talks at Ted dot com now. Before I close today,
46:35
Speaker 1: I want to thank each of you for tuning in
46:38
Speaker 1: to today's episode, for allowing me to share a bit
46:42
Speaker 1: about my journey with what legacy living is all about,
46:46
Speaker 1: not just living and learning, but living and learning and
46:51
Speaker 1: serving so that you make a difference in your own
46:55
Speaker 1: life and in the lives of others. It's about being
46:59
Speaker 1: on purpose every single day. Three sixty five twenty four
47:05
Speaker 1: to seven. Legacy living is a powerful way to make
47:11
Speaker 1: your life count. Once again, I want to thank you
47:16
Speaker 1: for joining me for today's show. I'm your host, doctor
47:20
Speaker 1: Gloria Gloria Burgess, and this is Legacy Living, Make your
47:27
Speaker 1: Life Count. Please join me again next time right here
47:32
Speaker 1: on Talk Network Radio for another show of Legacy living.
47:38
Speaker 1: Make your life count. Don't just count the days in
47:44
Speaker 1: your life. Make the days in your life count. That's
47:50
Speaker 1: what legacy living is all about. Have a fantastic day,
47:56
Speaker 1: and remember, make the days in your life count. God
48:03
Speaker 1: bless you. That's our show today. I'm your host, doctor
48:20
Speaker 1: Gloria Gloria Burgess. I hope you'll join me again next time.
48:26
Speaker 1: Until then, don't just count the days in your life,
48:30
Speaker 1: Make the days in your life count. That's what legacy
48:35
Speaker 1: living is all about. Here's to you have a fantastic
48:39
Speaker 1: day and be sure to make it a Yes kind
48:43
Speaker 1: of day. Remember to celebrate the music of your life.
48:50
Speaker 1: Make the days in your life count