Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / Ep. 50 What is a Reflector in Human Design? (with special guest Carmen Tuleta)

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Ep. 50 What is a Reflector in Human Design? (with special guest Carmen Tuleta) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast.
• 0:03
  Erin Gray: I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray.
• 0:05
  Erin Gray: I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs.
• 0:10
  Erin Gray: I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing.
• 0:16
  Erin Gray: I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future.
• 0:22
  Erin Gray: On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design.
• 0:29
  Erin Gray: I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same.
• 0:38
  Erin Gray: Hey, hey, how are you?
• 0:40
  Erin Gray: So this is going to be episode 50, which I'm like.
• 0:45
  Erin Gray: What episode 50.
• 0:46
  Erin Gray: I just want to say to each of you thank you so much for listening, tuning in every week, whether you watch on YouTube or you are listening in your car or on your run, or however you listen.
• 0:59
  Erin Gray: Um, I just really want to say I really appreciate you, each and every single one of you.
• 1:04
  Erin Gray: Um, so thank you for listening, thank you for being here.
• 1:09
  Erin Gray: Every time I sit down and record an episode, whether it's by myself or with, and I'm interviewing someone else, I'm always thinking about you.
• 1:16
  Erin Gray: How can I create more value in your life?
• 1:19
  Erin Gray: How can I educate and teach in a simple you know like break complex things down in simple ways and just share more of the knowledge that I have learned over the years and pass that on to you?
• 1:33
  Erin Gray: So I want to say thank you so much for being here and for tuning in and for listening.
• 1:37
  Erin Gray: Also, I want to say celebrating myself for continuing to keep going, right, um, I think sometimes in the beginning I mean, I love podcasting but I think sometimes in the beginning, you know, we sometimes want that external validation and I just want to say, like I'm so proud of myself and I hope that each of you celebrate yourself.
• 1:56
  Erin Gray: Whatever it is that you're doing, you're celebrating yourself, the milestones all along the way.
• 2:01
  Erin Gray: You're not just withholding the celebrations until the very end.
• 2:04
  Erin Gray: And I do want to say, mom, if you're listening or you're watching, that I love you, I'm so grateful for you.
• 2:11
  Erin Gray: This episode is about reflectors and it might make me cry right now.
• 2:15
  Erin Gray: Um, but human design has changed my life and my mom is a reflector.
• 2:20
  Erin Gray: And once I learned about human design and I learned that my mom was a reflector.
• 2:23
  Erin Gray: It really changed everything for me.
• 2:25
  Erin Gray: So I love you, mom, I'm so grateful for you, I'm so glad that our relationship has changed so much over the years and I truly am grateful and, like I always say, like, you're one of my best friends, so I love you.
• 2:40
  Erin Gray: Also, something fun that I recently found or was able to create through um my podcast uh hosting platform is Buzzsprout.
• 2:48
  Erin Gray: If you want, you can text me and I'm a big texter, so if I think it's just like on, it'll now show up.
• 2:55
  Erin Gray: Like if you're listening on, this is only from an auditory.
• 2:58
  Erin Gray: Like if you're just listening, it's not not on YouTube, but if you are listening and um right at the top, like at the very beginning in the description of the podcast, it will say um, like, want to connect.
• 3:10
  Erin Gray: You can send me a text, something like that, and you can just click on it and you can just say like, if you want to send in your um ideas, for if you want me to talk about certain things, or feedback for me or anything, I'm open, I'm willing to um, you know.
• 3:25
  Erin Gray: However, you want to share whatever's going on in your life, or if you're wanting to give some feedback or what you else.
• 3:32
  Erin Gray: You know, have some ideas for you want me to talk about on the podcast, or who you want me to bring on?
• 3:36
  Erin Gray: Be happy to do that.
• 3:37
  Erin Gray: So this is episode 50.
• 3:39
  Erin Gray: I'm so grateful for each of you.
• 3:41
  Erin Gray: I'm so proud of myself and mom.
• 3:44
  Erin Gray: This one's for you.
• 3:45
  Erin Gray: Okay, my friends, how are we today?
• 3:49
  Erin Gray: I've got Carmen Tuleta on the podcast.
• 3:51
  Erin Gray: We're laughing because I'm like we've been doing these series of of types of human design and we're on the last one reflectors.
• 3:58
  Erin Gray: So, uh, if you haven't listened to the previous ones, feel free to go and listen or watch on YouTube, because, whether you are or not that type, I think it's so valuable to understand who are the people in your lives that might be that type, and you can support them by learning more about them.
• 4:16
  Erin Gray: So, thanks, carmen.
• 4:17
  Erin Gray: Last one, we're on a roll, let's do it.
• 4:20
  Carmen Tuleta: This has been so awesome.
• 4:21
  Carmen Tuleta: So a reflector, oh my gosh.
• 4:24
  Carmen Tuleta: First I'm going to go into like I've done on all the past podcasts is what type is.
• 4:30
  Carmen Tuleta: Type is actually how we move through the world.
• 4:34
  Carmen Tuleta: It's our energy, it's our aura, it is how we interact with the world, literally.
• 4:39
  Carmen Tuleta: So it's very foundational.
• 4:41
  Carmen Tuleta: Our type encompasses our strategy as well, which is part of our decision-making style.
• 4:48
  Carmen Tuleta: So it's it's pretty huge, it's pretty foundational.
• 4:52
  Carmen Tuleta: It's kind of like our North star we always come back to, or part of our North star that we always come back to.
• 4:58
  Erin Gray: Yeah, so let's talk about reflectors, like they they say right, like one to 2%, like, depending on who you talk to, like of the population, um, and in terms of what is kind of their signature thing, like if they know that they're kind of off track, what are they feeling, might be feeling on a consistent basis, and then what are the ways that they, or the emotion that they feel when they're more in alignment and what are the ways that they, or the emotion that they feel when they're more in alignment.
• 5:26
  Carmen Tuleta: So for them it's disappointment.
• 5:27
  Carmen Tuleta: When they are out of alignment, they feel disappointment.
• 5:35
  Carmen Tuleta: I have never actually met a reflector to be able to tell you or have a conversation with them to understand what that disappointment might look like for them.
• 5:43
  Carmen Tuleta: So because they are so rare and when they're in alignment it's excitement.
• 5:53
  Erin Gray: I'm like, hey, mom, if you're watching I don't know if you watch very much my YouTube channels or my podcast but my mom is a reflector and like once I learned, like, like what was one thing to learn about my human design, it was another to learn about my family's.
• 6:08
  Erin Gray: And then once I learned about my mom being a reflector, that was just like I mean, I already was compassion and love for her but really opened the floodgates because, like we talked about in the first podcast episode of manifestors, I think reflectors can be misunderstood and I can't imagine, like I am pretty, I consider myself pretty undefined, right, like I only have four out of nine centers defined and to be in live in a world where there's so much energy and you and you are undefined in every center.
• 6:43
  Erin Gray: Right, um, the strength that I feel, like that reflectors you know have and just it.
• 6:53
  Erin Gray: It just shed a whole new light on having so much compassion and understanding, because I know what it feels like when I'm around a lot of people and I need to like rest and recover and recharge my energy, like I can't imagine having no centers or being open.
• 7:13
  Erin Gray: You know, um, as a reflector and so I do see, like what you're saying, of like the disappointment, like and the thing I will say about reflectors and pipe in Carmen here of like having a few this is almost similar to manifestors of having a few trusted advisors, cause a lot of times they don't actually need any advice.
• 7:32
  Erin Gray: They don't need, you know, they just need someone to listen to them.
• 7:36
  Erin Gray: And that is another thing that I learned, because my mom does share a lot with me, and so once I learned like oh, she's not asking, like that was like the joke in the house, Like you know, she would go to my dad and he's like you just want to talk, you don't want me to, like you know, fix anything.
• 7:50
  Erin Gray: It's like they don't, they don't need that, they just want someone, a trusted advisor, that they can confide in and share their feelings with and then be able to bounce their ideas off of and then go on their merry way.
• 8:02
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, it's how they process right.
• 8:04
  Carmen Tuleta: It's how they come to their well, come to their decisions.
• 8:11
  Carmen Tuleta: I guess, in a sense, it's not how they come to their decisions in terms of their strategy and authority, but it is how they understand themselves better.
• 8:19
  Carmen Tuleta: Yeah.
• 8:21
  Erin Gray: And also, too, like you think about how quickly we move.
• 8:25
  Erin Gray: I think things are changing in the business world, but like for a long time, right, like things move pretty quickly.
• 8:30
  Erin Gray: And for a reflector, like needing ample you know they say the lunar cycle but like needing like a good two, three weeks, you know, depending on the, the I don't want to say the severity of the decision.
• 8:42
  Erin Gray: Right, like, if you're, if you're, a reflector and you're going to go eat dinner, okay, right, like you, you, you just pick your place, you want to go to Right.
• 8:49
  Erin Gray: But like there were, there were times when my mom would make or her decisions would be very extended and we always thought she was, um, what's the word?
• 9:05
  Erin Gray: Indecisive.
• 9:05
  Erin Gray: But that's not, that's not at all what it is, right, it's just needing that time to.
• 9:08
  Erin Gray: You want to talk a little bit about, like, how that shows up for a reflector because of the, the no definition that they have.
• 9:16
  Carmen Tuleta: So, in terms of a decision, when you talk about, like, the level of a decision, I like to think of it as how big of an impact is that decision going to make on our lives?
• 9:27
  Erin Gray: Yeah.
• 9:27
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, and then go from there.
• 9:29
  Carmen Tuleta: And a reflector is the only type that doesn't have an authority.
• 9:35
  Carmen Tuleta: I guess, in a sense, their strategy is their authority to wait the 28 days and, like you said, they don't necessarily have to wait the 28 days.
• 9:48
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, it's that power of pause.
• 9:51
  Carmen Tuleta: Depending on the impact of the decision, it could be it could come right away, and it depends on what's in the transits and how, what people you have around you as well, because environment is so, so impactful for a reflector.
• 10:09
  Erin Gray: Yeah, it's huge and really, like Carmen saying about you know, the 28 days, like it can even more, like you're saying the temperature of the decision right, Like if you're thinking about moving someplace that might take months to get to a, to get to a place, and this is why it's so important of like not just understanding human design from an intellectual level, but from your body.
• 10:31
  Erin Gray: Like how do you feel in your body?
• 10:34
  Erin Gray: Does this feel unsettling or does this feel kind of at calm and at peace?
• 10:40
  Erin Gray: And each of you, like you're the only one that's going to be able to know what that feels like, and like when it feels, like air quotes the right time to move, you know, but really with reflectors, of like taking your time, and I don't think you know here we go back to compassion.
• 10:58
  Erin Gray: In the business world and in the world in general, like we don't allow much time for people to make up their mind or to, you know, make decisions or to all of it Right.
• 11:13
  Carmen Tuleta: So one thing I found like for a projector and I think this would really help with a reflector as well is saying like can I have a day or two to slow the process down?
• 11:27
  Carmen Tuleta: Um, one, it's going to make those people that are wanting the person, whatever type you may be, it will make them want that person more.
• 11:37
  Carmen Tuleta: That level of like, desire for them will be more attractive and it gives that person, that reflector, the time to actually sit with it and have some pause with it.
• 11:54
  Carmen Tuleta: If there isn't 28 days or two weeks or what have you, Right?
• 12:00
  Erin Gray: And also getting out of everyone else's aura.
• 12:02
  Erin Gray: That's the other thing, right, like of being able to, um, you know, I can't like, and this is for all types too.
• 12:12
  Erin Gray: It's like if, if you're feel like you're making a rush decision, then it's a no, right, it is a no for now, until I get to a more calm, neutral place.
• 12:23
  Erin Gray: And trusting that like because here we go back to like how marketing is, it's right.
• 12:28
  Erin Gray: It's like it's hurry, rush, buy, you know, half off all the things, and like we think we have such FOMO right Versus everything is going to come to us at the exact perfect time for us, and trusting that.
• 12:40
  Erin Gray: And so if it's, if it feels too rushed and it's a no and something else is better, that's going to come along.
• 12:46
  Erin Gray: Um, and allowing yourself to get out of everybody's aura so you can actually process and think about, like, what feels good for you.
• 12:57
  Carmen Tuleta: And it said that when a reflector is getting out of someone's aura, it's great for them to go into nature because they are so connected to nature innately.
• 13:08
  Carmen Tuleta: And, like I said, I cannot speak for a reflector because I do not know a reflector, but it makes total sense.
• 13:17
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, because the earth is grounding.
• 13:20
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, because the earth is grounding and how much grounding would that reflector have?
• 13:27
  Carmen Tuleta: And releasing of the energy, because they have zero centers defined.
• 13:29
  Carmen Tuleta: They're like they'll have the gates, but that's it.
• 13:32
  Erin Gray: So they're taking on everybody else's energy, right, and nature is just so, um, cleansing, oh, with disappointment seeing that, like I, this would be a good conversation to ask my mom, but it's almost, like you see, like the amazingness in everyone, and then when people don't live up to that, like that's what I've experienced with my mom, and so if you are a Rav Mukta, right, like you, you do see all of the humans at like their highest, and so that almost let down is kind of what it feels like of you know, disappointment when you're met with like it didn't, you're with someone and it didn't work out the way you thought it would, or um yeah, you thought it would, or um, yeah, so I know we've talked about this in the past, about actually feeling that emotion, so say the not self theme of any of the types.
• 14:31
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, and actually feeling into that emotion.
• 14:33
  Carmen Tuleta: And I was reading something the other day and it's it was.
• 14:37
  Carmen Tuleta: It said that it takes 90 seconds for an emotion to fleet.
• 14:41
  Carmen Tuleta: So sitting in that disappointment to understand why that disappointment came is huge and that's pause.
• 14:50
  Carmen Tuleta: Right, that's again pause.
• 14:54
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I think also too, and I know we're talking about specific types and then we keep bringing it back to everything, cause it is right.
• 15:00
  Erin Gray: Like we have all of the chart and we're all the yeah, we're all human.
• 15:03
  Erin Gray: Of like how much of our attachment to things, right, leads to that disappointment versus going into things for the fun of it.
• 15:15
  Erin Gray: You know Carmen talked about I don't remember which podcast episode it was, right.
• 15:18
  Erin Gray: But like going into things for the fun I think it was on the projector podcast right, like that's what you're doing now, like you're doing things for the fun of it and like experimenting, like what if we actually looked at life through that lens?
• 15:29
  Erin Gray: Like we, we dropped the seriousness and we were like this could be fun, what could happen?
• 15:34
  Erin Gray: Like almost childlike wonder, versus having such seriousness and attachment to an outcome of what we think it's going to look like because I was actually talking about this with someone else on the podcast of like our minds are actually limiting, right, like if we don't put anything on it, like what could actually happen?
• 15:53
  Erin Gray: Versus we have this idea and so then that's almost like what we create.
• 16:00
  Carmen Tuleta: And and there is other places in the chart where that comes up as well the parts don't exist without the whole and we are all human.
• 16:09
  Carmen Tuleta: But back to the reflector.
• 16:12
  Carmen Tuleta: Something that I want to stress is the people that they surround themselves with is going to be so huge for them, because if it's not a healthy environment, that's how they will feel Right.
• 16:38
  Carmen Tuleta: If there are people that aren't for lack of a better word positive or empowering, encouraging, exactly Yep, that reflector isn't going to feel those things and reflect them back out into the world.
• 16:53
  Erin Gray: Yeah, um, I I'm so glad you said that, Cause I just assumed that everyone knew that, cause I'm like an amazing person and I support my mom in that way.
• 17:02
  Erin Gray: But, honestly, like there are people that I'm so glad you said that, because it is I can tell when she's talked to someone else and then I can tell when she's talked to someone else and then I can tell when she's talked to me and how she feels after the conversation, or her level, like you're saying of, like, um, encouragement or doubt or all of that, like that shows up and so really for the reflector, like you're not actually you guys already know this, but like you're not asking for advice, you're almost acting of like you're just the that these, these trusted people in your life, are just a sounding board to you and supporting you, you know.
• 17:38
  Erin Gray: And so really I'm so glad you said that, carmen, because it is it's like surrounding yourself with people that are encouraging, empowering and allow you to have your process too, like that's the other thing of, like I've noticed sometimes some people will get frustrated with her and it's like that's just her process.
• 17:54
  Erin Gray: She just needs to talk it out for a little bit and kind of get more clarity and then, and then, once she's good, like when she's talked it out, she's like good, right.
• 18:01
  Erin Gray: So allowing that, allowing that and supporting supporting um people in that in that way, supporting supporting um people in that, in that way Yep A supportive community is yeah, it's huge for the reflector.
• 18:20
  Erin Gray: Yeah, is there anything else that you want to say regarding?
• 18:22
  Carmen Tuleta: reflectors.
• 18:22
  Carmen Tuleta: Other than they are fluid because they're ever changing.
• 18:26
  Carmen Tuleta: They their, their energy, changes with the people that they're around as well.
• 18:35
  Carmen Tuleta: So they could wake up one day and have a completely different mindset, a completely different look outlook on things.
• 18:42
  Carmen Tuleta: So knowing that they're going to make these transitions is not only helpful for themselves, but for the people around them.
• 18:51
  Erin Gray: Yeah, Yep, it's interesting.
• 18:54
  Erin Gray: You say things and these are literally words that my family has said.
• 18:59
  Erin Gray: You know what I mean Like, oh, you're like a chameleon, Are you in?
• 19:02
  Erin Gray: It's just like yeah, and and they kind of are and that's okay, Right.
• 19:06
  Erin Gray: Like we can either look at it from the lens of like oh, I'm a chameleon, there's something wrong with me, or like, yeah, like I can be with anybody and kind of change in my fluidity and and so it's such a gift.
• 19:18
  Carmen Tuleta: It is, it is and I we talk about this all the time that that conditioning of making people wrong for how they function in the world.
• 19:27
  Carmen Tuleta: I think if the world knew human design, how different could it be.
• 19:34
  Carmen Tuleta: Yeah, so I think part of who we are is bringing that to the world.
• 19:43
  Erin Gray: Well, I think you know it's.
• 19:44
  Erin Gray: I love the Howard Thurman um and I'm going to paraphrase um quote.
• 19:49
  Erin Gray: But he says like ask not what you can do for the world.
• 19:52
  Erin Gray: Like ask, ask what makes you come alive and then go.
• 19:55
  Erin Gray: Do that.
• 19:55
  Erin Gray: Like the world doesn't need us to tell anyone else what to do, right?
• 19:59
  Erin Gray: Like we need all of us to get an alignment to be our highest selves, to be the most empowered, the most compassionate, loving you know we already are all of those things.
• 20:08
  Erin Gray: But like letting go and stripping all that conditioning away so that we can shine.
• 20:12
  Erin Gray: Like that's what the and I think human design you know for each of us that if, if, all of us are living in our highest.
• 20:18
  Erin Gray: Like that's the best thing that we can do.
• 20:21
  Carmen Tuleta: Absolutely.
• 20:22
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I love that.
• 20:23
  Erin Gray: Thank you so much, carmen, for all of your time, your wisdom, your knowledge, for sharing all of that with us.
• 20:28
  Erin Gray: Where can people find you, learn more about you?
• 20:30
  Erin Gray: All of the things.
• 20:32
  Carmen Tuleta: Well, right now, my website's on an overhaul, so that's, that's coming, but I do have a link to book a session with me, so I'll, I can give that to you and you can pop it in the show notes.
• 20:46
  Carmen Tuleta: And I do have an Instagram account.
• 20:50
  Carmen Tuleta: I'm also doing an overhaul there, but I'm still there and I'm still showing up there.
• 20:54
  Carmen Tuleta: Um, with a little bit of a twist on my um, how I look at human design and how I help people and I have so much fun over there.
• 21:03
  Carmen Tuleta: I was like you gotta go and you gotta go watch Carmen, Cause she's so fun.
• 21:07
  Erin Gray: She like throws twists on things and she's just, yeah, it's, it's fun to like talk about things in such a fun, easeful, like not serious way.
• 21:16
  Erin Gray: Carmen does a great job at that yeah.
• 21:19
  Carmen Tuleta: We have enough serious in life.
• 21:20
  Carmen Tuleta: Oh my gosh, have some fun.
• 21:22
  Carmen Tuleta: Let's have some fun yeah.
• 21:23
  Erin Gray: Yeah.
• 21:24
  Erin Gray: So thank you everybody for listening, thank you for watching and thank you, carmen Again.
• 21:29
  Erin Gray: I appreciate it.
• 21:29
  Erin Gray: Thank you, thank you for tuning in today.
• 21:34
  Erin Gray: I appreciate you spending your time with me.
• 21:36
  Erin Gray: I created grow the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart-based entrepreneurs.
• 21:43
  Erin Gray: It's a place where we blend the 3d of money like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business along with the 5d of money like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business along with the 5d of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money.
• 21:56
  Erin Gray: To learn more about grow the CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom and, as always, from my soul to yours.