Latest / Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show / Donald Drumpf Theatre 310: All The President’s Men -- And A New Press Secretary -- Go Crazy

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Donald Drumpf Theatre 310: All The President’s Men -- And A New Press Secretary -- Go Crazy · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Previously on The Donald Trump Theater Radio Show.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: I love the inflation.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't think about Americans' financial situation.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: When you have to pay a little bit more, you're at $4.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: It's okay, I'll never apologize.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: Saudi Arabia and Russia.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: I've done a f***ing job as president.
0:24
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0:32
SPEAKER_00: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to make it louder.
0:37
[music]
0:56
SPEAKER_01: For your consideration, a nation,
1:00
[music]
1:25
SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately,
1:26
SPEAKER_01: we have to start tonight with a tragic developing story involving President Drumpf.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: No, not that.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: It's a president.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Trump has sadly not won the Nobel Peace Prize.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: But don't worry.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: I think he's taking it all in stride.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: The Nobel Prize was given out today to a liberal person who works at
1:56
SPEAKER_00: the United Nations who nobody has ever heard of.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: He's genuinely angry that he didn't win the peace prize.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Drumpf.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Kidnapped Venezuela's president,
2:11
SPEAKER_01: then he did so much war that we're running out of missiles,
2:16
SPEAKER_01: and he still thought, this is my year.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: Naby Pillay,
2:19
SPEAKER_02: who learned she won the Nobel Peace Prize at a conference in Germany,
2:23
SPEAKER_02: Joked with the crowd that if they clap a little more,
2:26
SPEAKER_02: she may share this prize with drunks,
2:29
SPEAKER_02: which is a harmless little joke
2:31
SPEAKER_02: that might make drunks bomb whatever country he thinks she's from.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: The president took the perceived snub well, I have to say.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: He only posted a 600-word tirade.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: Lashing out.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: What better way to deserve a Nobel Prize than attacking the woman who won
2:51
SPEAKER_02: at midnight in a social media post that is twice as long as the Gettysburg Address.
2:56
SPEAKER_02: In this one post,
2:57
SPEAKER_02: Drumpf mentioned he ended eight wars seven different times and then woke up
3:02
SPEAKER_02: on Saturday morning and did it again, this time misspelling the word Nobel.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: I did not get the Nobel Peace Prize.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: The United States of America,
3:13
SPEAKER_00: represented by me as your president,
3:16
SPEAKER_00: should have received the Nobel Peace Prize, but didn't.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: And this is an indelible stain on the country of Norway and those people
3:28
SPEAKER_00: that made such a disgraceful and embarrassing decision.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: I know, I was upset they didn't give it to him, too.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: It's really an indelible stain.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: Not as indelible as the stain you made on your diaper when they announced it.
3:49
SPEAKER_02: He is blaming Norway for this slight, which, thanks a lot, Norway.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: I hope you're happy you made our baby cry.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: We will not forget, Norway,
3:58
SPEAKER_00: that you didn't give this prize with the greatest record in history,
4:04
SPEAKER_00: not eight wars, We should have had eight Nobel Prizes for each war.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: Hey, no one, let me add that up.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Eight prizes for each war.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: It means you should have 64 Nobel Prizes.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Minus eight for the war we started.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: That's an even 56.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: That seems reasonable.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: Is that too much to ask?
4:25
SPEAKER_02: Shame on you, Norway.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Imagine being the single most powerful person in the world and still being such
4:30
SPEAKER_02: a petty little bitch at all times.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: I mean, and the truth is,
4:36
SPEAKER_01: It has been a busy week,
4:38
SPEAKER_01: and a new scandal hit the Drumpf administration,
4:41
SPEAKER_01: and even by their standards, it's a pretty tacky one.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: A major Drumpf donor is accusing
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Kimberly Guilfoyle of begging him
4:49
SPEAKER_02: to pay her American Express bill.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: It won't show up anywhere.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: If you wire money to American Express, she wrote him on the Signal messaging app.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: Please, honey, please, she begged in another message.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: I need you to get this done for me today.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: Honey, please, send $100,000 to my credit card.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: And sweetie, don't go on the news later to talk about it.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: And pumpkin, let's just back up for a second here.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly Guilfoyle is the current ambassador to Greece.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: And it was always an odd job for her to get,
5:29
SPEAKER_01: given she's probably best known for this moment of the 2020 RMC.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: The best is yet to come.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: Guilfoyle's been accused of using her political influence to make money
5:40
SPEAKER_01: from Eric Dieters,
5:40
SPEAKER_01: an ex-lawyer, radio host and former co-owner of the Snappy Tomato Pizza chain.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: He apparently wanted a number of favors from Guilfoyle,
5:47
SPEAKER_01: including connecting him with the IRS,
5:49
SPEAKER_01: which was questioning a deduction that he'd made a few years.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: She's writing the thing.
6:18
SPEAKER_02: That she's telling him not to write.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: We got footage of Kimberly Guilfoyle talking to the Trump donor about keeping records.
6:24
SPEAKER_02: Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?
6:28
SPEAKER_02: What the fuck is you thinking?
6:31
SPEAKER_01: Dieter says that he's coming out now because the government didn't follow
6:34
SPEAKER_01: through any of the things that he asked of Guilfoyle, some of which are truly nuts.
6:40
SPEAKER_01: I said, wait a minute, Kimberly.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: You've not done anything that you promised me.
6:43
SPEAKER_02: You haven't got me on Tucker.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: You haven't got me on a Fox interview.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: You haven't done squat.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: You didn't get Kid Rock, the song that I wrote.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: But he also co-wrote a song called Kentucky Outlaw and wanted Guilfoyle to get
6:57
SPEAKER_02: the lyrics to Kid Rock.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: Hey, can you slide, kid, rock this song?
7:03
SPEAKER_02: I think you'll like it, please.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: Did Kimberly Guilfoyle get the $100,000 from Eric Dieters?
7:10
SPEAKER_02: She did not.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: He ghosted her.
7:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, obviously, he's the Kentucky outlaw.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: I did not do it.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: But the reason why I did not do it is I didn't have that money at the time.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: I cannot stand Kimberly Guilfoyle.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly Guilfoyle is a wicked, evil person.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Guilfoyle's lawyer has disputed the authenticity of the messages
7:33
SPEAKER_01: without giving any specifics,
7:34
SPEAKER_01: but it's just the latest concern about her appointment as ambassador,
7:37
SPEAKER_01: given there's also been coverage of,
7:39
SPEAKER_01: among many other things,
7:40
SPEAKER_01: her bringing a registered lobbyist to meetings with foreign officials.
7:44
SPEAKER_01: As President Trump said,
7:46
SPEAKER_01: this anniversary is a time to be proud of our past,
7:49
SPEAKER_01: but it is also a time to lift our sights,
7:53
SPEAKER_01: expand our ambitions, and raise our expectations of what America can be.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: We will leave our children nothing less than the richest inheritance,
8:04
SPEAKER_01: most advanced civilization, and highest standard of living in human history.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: What happens then?
8:13
SPEAKER_01: We have breaking news right now.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly Guilfoyle.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: Has resigned.
8:30
SPEAKER_01: Earlier today,
8:31
SPEAKER_01: as you know,
8:31
SPEAKER_01: the brand new press secretary for the White House made the announcement
8:36
SPEAKER_01: that she was leaving her post as the ambassador for Greece.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: You say Pete Hegseth is the biggest regret of your career.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: You admit that you should have stopped RFK Jr.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: from becoming health secretary and that Howard Lutnick quote is nuttier
8:49
SPEAKER_01: than squirrel shit.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: That's not all that.
8:52
SPEAKER_02: Who or what does Tillis blame for these people being appointed in the first place?
8:58
SPEAKER_02: He couldn't blame.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: Drumpf.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: Right.
9:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, those were the names he picked out of the hat.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: Here's who Tom blamed.
9:05
SPEAKER_02: The president's getting bad advice.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: He's got people that are giving him bad advice.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: Stephen Miller.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: Bad advice.
9:11
SPEAKER_03: Pete Hexeth.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: It's on him, right?
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Truman famously said that the buck stops here, but Truman had great advisors.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: Why did Truman have great advisors?
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Because he hired great advisors.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: Why does Drumpf have idiotic fucking hack advisors?
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Because that's who we fucking hire.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: Michael, wake up.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: Wake up, your nightmare is true.
9:44
[music]
10:00
SPEAKER_03: Clinically full of shit.
10:02
SPEAKER_03: I don't know what you're talking about.
10:03
SPEAKER_03: Infecting the upper federal healthcare ranks.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: There's no vaccine that is safe and
10:09
[music]
10:19
SPEAKER_03: God bless you, Bobby.
10:21
SPEAKER_03: You could wind up in tears from his Tylenol theories and fluoride
10:25
[music]
10:39
SPEAKER_03: cult.
10:41
SPEAKER_03: Hey Siri, what the actual fuck?
10:44
SPEAKER_03: It says here,
10:45
SPEAKER_03: with measles now sharply rising,
10:49
SPEAKER_03: thanks to this
10:49
[music]
11:05
SPEAKER_03: his head entirely up his ass.
11:08
SPEAKER_03: By the end of that summer, I was shooting heroin.
11:10
SPEAKER_03: September of 1983, I got arrested.
11:12
SPEAKER_03: In other words,
11:13
SPEAKER_03: when the medical pro
11:15
[music]
12:10
SPEAKER_03: We need to stop trusting the experts.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: But the worms in his brain
12:14
[music]
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Do you want a couple hundred thousand barrels of diesel fuel?
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, yes I do.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Want me to leave sanctions on you so you can make a lot of money selling them?
12:58
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your attention to this matter.
13:02
[music]
13:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm Dwight Richmond,
13:13
SPEAKER_01: filling in for Clifford Baines,
13:14
SPEAKER_01: who's going hunting to impress his new father-in-law.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: With more Republicans falling behind Democrats in many key races,
13:20
SPEAKER_01: President Drumpf is hoping to energize his base before the midterms.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: But will Drumpf's announcement that he's running for midterm president help Republicans?
13:29
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: I mean, Republicans simply do not show up to vote unless Donald Drumpf is on the ballot.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: They can rally behind him for midterm president.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is absolutely huge.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it blows turnout projections in a completely different direction.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: And look, before this announcement, the party was struggling, right?
13:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, they had a few racist and pedophile apologists running,
13:48
SPEAKER_01: a couple of rising stars, but none of them We're named Donald Drumpf.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Voters just could not see past that.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: Exactly,
13:54
SPEAKER_01: and now you've got his name right there on the ballot,
13:56
SPEAKER_01: and they've got this amazing historic angle,
13:58
SPEAKER_01: which is he's running to be the first ever midterm president.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: It's great PR.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually not sure that Drumpf is doing enough.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: Republicans are desperate, so why stop at midterm president?
14:09
SPEAKER_01: Why not go for Maryland governor president or Kentucky state Supreme Court justice president?
14:14
SPEAKER_01: Vice president, president.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: Whatever it is, yes, if there's a race, Drumpf's name needs to be on it.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: There are several red states vowing to put Drumpf's name on the ballot up
14:24
SPEAKER_01: to 70 times in various races, but is there any chance that this backfires?
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Last year, Drumpf ran for New York City Mayor President
14:35
SPEAKER_01: We all knew that Drumpf was not going to win the New York City mayor presidency.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that city is as blue as it gets, but in a nationwide election.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: Especially where there's no clear opponent.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: Where are the Democrats?
14:47
SPEAKER_01: I mean, why were they not prepared for this?
14:48
SPEAKER_01: They have had two years to come up with somebody to run for this position
14:51
SPEAKER_01: that just got made up,
14:52
SPEAKER_01: and now they're just handing the keys to Drumpf for midterm Oval Office.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: Massive political mistake.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: Is this another genius move by the midterm president?
15:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, the president.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: Look, obviously Democrats are not Trump's issue here.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: It's the courts.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: They're going to challenge this.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: They're going to say making up a midterm presidency is unconstitutional.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, it would be unconstitutional for him.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: The largest concern for me here is does Drumpf have what it takes?
15:18
SPEAKER_01: Please, that's ridiculous.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: The man just won the South Carolina GOP primary runoff presidency,
15:24
SPEAKER_01: so I do think he's got what it takes.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: You know, he does.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: He thrives on made-up campaign trails.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but if he loses this one, you know, running against no one.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: Then he'll just run again next year.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: You don't need an election to run.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but Duncan, he is 80 years old and he's already the regular president.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: I mean, don't you think adding a second job on top of that would just be too much?
15:42
SPEAKER_01: No, no, I disagree.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: I think the midterm president would actually work very closely with the president and president.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: And the fact that they're the same person, that's just an advantage.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: And adding a midterm president would address the issues of waste, fraud, and abuse.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: And I'd also like to mention that if the midterm president is in need of
16:03
SPEAKER_01: a midterm press secretary, I will graciously offer my services.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: We got a new White House press secretary.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: This is the new press secretary, former Newsmax commentator Katie Zachariah.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: Katie met a number of qualifications for the job.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: She has blonde hair.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: She can do a thumbs up.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: Good morning.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: Good morning.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: Hardworking Americans are lining up and packing arenas to support President Drumpf
16:31
SPEAKER_01: and Republicans.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: It's not hard to see why he delivers on every promise.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: In addition to that, we will be, we will be, yeah, there's $54 billion, $120 billion
16:50
SPEAKER_01: To build eight, to build eight.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: And now we have a booming economy and a great relationship with Venezuela.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: American energy dominance because energy security.
17:03
SPEAKER_01: And with that, I will take your questions.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: So my president, excuse me, my husband.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: That's a good one.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: You're starting as White House Press Secretary three weeks before a midterm cycle
17:20
SPEAKER_01: that President himself says will be very tough for Republicans.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: Is your job just to speak about White House matters or is it
17:30
SPEAKER_01: to make things less tough for Republicans in the midterms?
17:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, Peter,
17:34
SPEAKER_01: I get to do what I was doing on the outside already,
17:39
SPEAKER_01: which was hoping to amplify,
17:41
SPEAKER_01: multiply,
17:42
SPEAKER_01: and expand upon President Trump's incredible agenda for the American people.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: And what I hope to do in this position is to take that into an official capacity
17:52
SPEAKER_01: and only build on,
17:53
SPEAKER_01: only amplify,
17:54
SPEAKER_01: and only multiply,
17:55
SPEAKER_01: to the extent possible, all of the wins he's making for Americans.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: For Americans to understand how much has changed in this brief period of time,
18:05
SPEAKER_01: what he's been able to accomplish,
18:07
SPEAKER_01: my goal is to be able to communicate that in complete tandem with the president,
18:12
SPEAKER_01: as he is his own best spokesperson,
18:14
SPEAKER_01: and will absolutely be leading the way with that.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: This loser, Jimmy Kimmel.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: I see that.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: What a loser.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: I had just left Texas or something.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: The place is packed.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: And maybe it was Ohio.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Place is packed.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: He said, Donald Trump had a sparsely attended...
18:36
SPEAKER_00: I said, sparsely attended?
18:37
SPEAKER_00: They had to walk.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: Thousands of people.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: They couldn't get into the room.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: These guys are crooked people.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: They're losers.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: They're crooked people.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: Do I really sound like that?
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Be honest.
18:48
SPEAKER_02: Your sparsely attended rallies are...
18:51
SPEAKER_02: Of all the things I said about him last week,
18:53
SPEAKER_02: of all the many moronic and criminal words and deeds I detailed,
18:58
SPEAKER_02: that's what bothers him?
18:59
SPEAKER_02: Me pointing out the fact that his rallies have empty seats?
19:02
SPEAKER_02: He keeps claiming the reason there are empty seats in the back and the top is
19:06
SPEAKER_02: because people love them.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: I love them so much, they make their way down to the front.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Isn't it interesting that that never happens at a Lakers game,
19:12
SPEAKER_02: people just moving up to the front?
19:14
SPEAKER_02: But it does at an event controlled by the United States Secret Service.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, when I mentioned the sparse attendance at that rally, I didn't even show it.
19:23
SPEAKER_02: This is from his rally in Alabama, much like Drumpf's cognitive function, not at full capacity.
19:30
SPEAKER_02: But what he lacks in attendance, he makes up for with racist rhetoric.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Drumpf.
19:34
SPEAKER_02: This other new bit is directed at a rising star and Michigan U.S. Senate hopeful Abdul El-Sayed.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: Mohammed El-Sayed.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: I call him Mohammed.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: Somebody said, his name isn't Mohammed.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: It's Abdul.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: I said, to me, it's Mohammed.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm the president.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: I can call him whatever the hell I want.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: But the president's pulling out all the stops to earn slash buy our votes.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: In November,
19:56
SPEAKER_02: on Friday,
19:56
SPEAKER_02: he announced a deal with Russia,
19:58
SPEAKER_02: a country That is bombing our ally Ukraine and helping our enemy Iran
20:03
SPEAKER_02: to keep them afloat by buying 300,000 tons of diesel fuel,
20:07
SPEAKER_02: which will not lower prices here.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: 300,000 tons of diesel fuel is about three quarters of
20:13
SPEAKER_02: the amount this country This is like if during World War II,
20:22
SPEAKER_02: FDR struck a deal to buy sausage from Hitler, okay?
20:25
SPEAKER_02: Put a dent in the price of bratwurst.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: And on top of all that,
20:29
SPEAKER_02: Drumpf floated the idea this weekend of renaming either the Pacific
20:34
SPEAKER_02: or Atlantic Ocean after himself.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: Moby Dictator said he would like to change one of them to Drumpf Ocean.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: He wants an ocean now.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: He can't even manage a reflecting pool.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: You know, sir, eggs.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: Sir, eggs.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: We don't need hockey sticks.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, I know a lot of chefs.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Hello.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Melania.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: See that dog?
20:56
SPEAKER_00: It's racist.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: You're fired.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Well, are you crazy doing a freaking crazy?
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Praise be to Allah.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: We call it drumpf.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: Ocean, I could say the stupidest things and you clap.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: You know, I love you so.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: As Pete Hegseth,
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Secretary of War,
21:13
SPEAKER_01: announced that the execution by firing squad will be live-streamed.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: Let's take a look.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe let's not take a look.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: If you don't like public executions, don't watch them.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Fair enough.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: But this is the same administration
21:31
SPEAKER_01: who thinks drag shows will corrupt your tiny little minds
21:34
SPEAKER_01: and therefore they must be banned.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: American morality has finally reached the sewer.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: Public executions,
21:41
SPEAKER_01: ICE agents shooting American citizens,
21:44
SPEAKER_01: a president openly saying that a free press is a threat to national security,
21:49
SPEAKER_01: with the Epstein files just...
21:51
SPEAKER_01: Sitting there without a single prosecution with the announcement of sanctions
21:56
SPEAKER_01: against the International Criminal Court because one of their ex-judges just won
22:01
SPEAKER_01: the Nobel Peace Prize.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: What a bitch.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: And finally, the turd on the cake.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: The US Army just swore The U.S.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: government has essentially given Mark Zuckerberg and Peter Thiel and Elon Musk, etc.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: access to a message.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: America's military secrets.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: The same people who run social media dopamine machines now run the Western world.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: And now the US military, they are more powerful than any politician.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: They know everything about you.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Bezos and Musk and Peter Thiel, they already know Yeah, Jonathan Pye.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd like a wanker.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: They know you,
22:53
SPEAKER_01: your personality,
22:54
SPEAKER_01: your behaviour,
22:55
SPEAKER_01: they can influence you,
22:57
SPEAKER_01: hack your behaviour, your opinions, your wants, needs and worldview.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: The dehumanisation of humanity.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: And these systems are for sale to the highest bidder because
23:06
SPEAKER_01: if you can influence people's behaviour, you can influence their vote.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: The payment for such a service?
23:14
SPEAKER_01: Access to your military, your children's mental health, your morality?
23:18
SPEAKER_01: A fucking bargain!
23:20
[music]
23:33
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for songs for this week's episode from Golden Earring,
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Busta Rhymes, TYR Wax, and Randy Rainbow.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: And thanks to the clips and excerpts from John Oliver,
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Colin Jost and Michael Che from Saturday Night Live,
23:45
SPEAKER_01: Jimmy Kimmel,
23:46
SPEAKER_01: and Larry Wilmore,
23:47
SPEAKER_01: Rosebud Baker,
23:48
SPEAKER_01: Roy Wood Jr.,
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Amber Ruffin,
23:50
SPEAKER_01: and Michael Ian Black from Have I Got News For You,
23:53
SPEAKER_01: and Striner Bell,
23:54
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly Guilfoyle,
23:55
SPEAKER_01: Eric Dieters,
23:56
SPEAKER_01: Harris Faulkner,
23:57
SPEAKER_01: Kytlin Collins,
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Tom Tillis, GZero Media, The Onion, Katie Zakaria, Peter Doocy, and others.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: Tune in next week for episode number 311 of the Donald Trump Theater radio show.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: If we're still allowed on the air.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: So everybody's pretending to be so upset.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Everybody's so delicate.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: Secretary of War.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: We call him Administrative Assistant of War because Secretary is so feminine and...
24:26
SPEAKER_00: Other than makeup and haircare products and staring at men working out and talking
24:31
SPEAKER_00: about testosterone,
24:33
SPEAKER_00: Pete Hankseth might be the manliest, straightest man in the history of gay men.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: But we are going to have this monster, this animal.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not just saying this because he has a Middle Eastern name,
24:48
SPEAKER_00: though maybe that is why I'm talking about him that way.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: He murdered our great troops at Fort Hood.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: Fort Hood.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: And he struck down American soldiers in the prime of their lives, serving their country.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: And I found that so disgraceful and awful because it's my job
25:08
SPEAKER_00: to recklessly throw away the lives of our military, okay?
25:13
SPEAKER_00: And I can do it because...
25:15
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's ever been more patriotic than me in terms of dry-humping flags.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: When there's a lot of flags,
25:23
SPEAKER_00: I just grab them by the tassel,
25:27
SPEAKER_00: and sometimes the flags have to sign NDAs because I get too patriotic with them.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: But Peter,
25:33
SPEAKER_00: like Seth,
25:33
SPEAKER_00: he said,
25:34
SPEAKER_00: wouldn't it be great and make us feel supermanly if we could livestream like a sort
25:41
SPEAKER_00: of Sick, twisted, ignorant culture from like a futuristic way.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: You ever see those movies from the future and it's so awesome because,
25:51
SPEAKER_00: you know,
25:52
SPEAKER_00: there's a few people who are rich and everybody else is poor and there's
25:55
SPEAKER_00: so much violence and dirt everywhere.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: But then the few people who live in like the nice white towers in the sky, they're doing great.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Me and Straight Pete Hegseth really just, we want that to be our future.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, we can make, you know, What was his name?
26:16
SPEAKER_00: Manhattan Gandhi.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: He said, you never see those meanies that the women put up.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: He's a change you want to see in the world.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And he's right because I want to see our world get more violent.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: And so I thought we should live stream.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: And they said, sir, are you going to charge?
26:31
SPEAKER_00: And I said, eventually we'll do the first one free.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: We'll do the first one free.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: But I tell you, in the future, Public executions are going to be $49.99 on Truth Social.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: And, you know,
26:44
SPEAKER_00: the bonus commentary,
26:46
SPEAKER_00: you know,
26:46
SPEAKER_00: you'll have Stephen Miller masturbating and,
26:49
SPEAKER_00: like, they're going to call it the Miller Cam.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: As the people die, he'll be, you know, he'll be climaxing with his lovely wife, Katie.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: Pete Hegseth will be,
26:59
SPEAKER_00: you know,
27:00
SPEAKER_00: just boiling up men,
27:03
SPEAKER_00: you know,
27:03
SPEAKER_00: for our military,
27:04
SPEAKER_00: for strictly military purposes,
27:06
SPEAKER_00: but The point is, public execution, streaming, why didn't we do this sooner?
27:12
SPEAKER_00: It's a great idea.
27:15
[music]