Latest / Come Together with Ephraim Herschmann / #107: Janet Tamez / Writing, Publishing, Family, Travel

Transcript

#107: Janet Tamez / Writing, Publishing, Family, Travel · Come Together with Ephraim Herschmann

• 0:01
  Welcome to another episode of Come Together
• 0:15
  and We're Live. Welcome back.
• 0:16
  How's it going? Welcome.
• 0:18
  Thanks so much for coming, Janet.
• 0:19
  It's good to have. You.
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  Thank you. Do you wanna tell me a little
• 0:24
  bit about actually, I'm gonna, I could introduce the fact that
• 0:28
  what popped out to me on your LinkedIn profile was that you're
• 0:30
  a writer and a teacher. And that really that that
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  strikes me because I rate a lot in my free time.
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  And like my, you know, my degree in college was in creative
• 0:40
  writing and literature. I love writing and I love
• 0:44
  teaching and I teach part time. And, you know, I find it, I find
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  it really important to make time to continue teaching.
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  And I think education is on the most important things in the
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  world. So from there on, you tell me a
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  little bit about yourself. Yeah, I kind of like went into
• 0:58
  teaching. It just happened.
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  Like my degree is in English. Your degree is in English as
• 1:03
  well, right? Yeah.
• 1:05
  Creative writing. So creative writing, that's the
• 1:07
  same thing. I, I studied at the University
• 1:10
  of Miami and then I just kind of, I did some copywriting work
• 1:14
  right after and then I just kind of went into teaching somehow
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  and just stayed there. But then eventually, like now in
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  my 40s, I was like, I, you know, I just thought I just wanted to
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  go back to what I really loved and which is publishing and
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  literature and book. So I did a career change and I
• 1:33
  just earned my master's this way and.
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  Congratulations. So exciting.
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  Wow, was that was that tough to do, to go back to school?
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  It was because I didn't leave teaching.
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  I was still like working full time and I was, you know, taking
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  classes and I, I didn't want to drag it out, but so it was, it
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  was tough, but. Tell me about what that would
• 1:58
  tell me what that how, how, how the balance was.
• 2:00
  So you're taking what kind of classes were wait, So what was
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  the masters in? And then what were the kind of
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  classes like and how did you balance it with your with your
• 2:08
  life? Because that's why I feel like,
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  at least for me, I like every time I think about grad school,
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  I'm like, I don't have time. Like, you know, work and this
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  and teaching and my family and I have two kids and any of a
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  family and, you know, how do you do it?
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  It was it was hard, but you know, like my husband, he would
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  take the kids. I'm like, I need like a few
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  hours at home by myself, take the kids.
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  I don't know what you're going to do.
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  You know, he would just take them because my son plays
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  soccer. So, and that's kind of what
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  brought us, you know, we just came back from, you know, Mexico
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  because we spent a year in Mexico for my son.
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  So anyways, while we were in the United States, he would take my
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  son to to play in the field and take the other kids and they
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  would run around and, and that's what how we would manage.
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  Right. It's crazy.
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  It's very patient of him. How many kids do you have?
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  I have 4:00, it's awesome. It's awesome, it's awesome.
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  And the boys, girls. Yeah, I have both 2 like 2 boys,
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  2 girls. Oh, nice.
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  Yeah. And I kind of have them 10 years
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  apart. So they, the older ones do help
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  out the younger ones. And sometimes that that's how I
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  did manage my studies. Like I'll have my older kids
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  take the younger ones to like the park.
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  Like, you know, there's a little park in the community.
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  Like, OK, I need some time. I have to log into class, go
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  take the kids to the park for like 2 hours.
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  And you know, I'll let you know. I'll text you when I'm done.
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  Totally be able to have that when when I was in college,
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  there was a rabbi that was on campus and he had like without
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  that exaggerating, I think like 6 kids under 10.
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  And I was like, how do you, how do you do it?
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  And he's like, and, and, and, and I'd watch as the weeks went
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  on because I'd, I'd, I'd visit on, you know, I'd go to services
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  and stuff and I'd watch his kids.
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  And the five year old is helping the three-year olds cross the
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  street and looking both ways. And then the 10 year old, you
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  know, meets them at the door and is running around with food for
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  everyone and helping throw food away.
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  And it's so cool just to see like, you know, like when you
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  have that kind, when you have the need for responsibility,
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  even kids step up, you know, even like, you know, 3 or 4 year
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  old who really step up and and help out.
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  It's really cool. Yeah, for sure.
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  Because there were times when I, you know, my kids were in school
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  and I have the two younger ones at home homeschooling then like
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  my last semester. And I'm like, listen, I need you
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  guys to go upstairs and don't come down, you know, and then
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  like, and, and they would know, they would kind of understand.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're intuitive too.
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  I've known you know, which is which is really cool.
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  So you so you so before teaching you originally, you originally
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  started with writing. You wanted to be with your
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  English degree? Yeah, with with.
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  OK, so you that's what caught you first.
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  You want to be a writer? Yes.
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  What kind of writing do you like to do?
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  I like creative writing, so yeah.
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  So right now I'm like, starting to focus more on blog writing
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  and I am working on a novel that I like.
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  Yeah. So I'm kind of editing that and
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  that's, you know, another project.
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  What's your relationship with editing?
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  Because I hate editing and some of my other friends who are like
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  great writers love to edit. They say that's their favorite
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  part. What I like about writing is
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  catching the spontaneous thoughts and ideas in my head
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  and writing them down. And so to me, editing is almost
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  like a different type of skill. It's a different type of of job,
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  you know. Yeah, I think editing for me
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  requires that like, which requires less mental work.
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  I think the creativity is like when I have to write creatively,
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  I can't have any distractions. But when I'm editing and it's
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  all in the pace and I can, you know, I can have some busyness
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  going on around me, some distractions, I can do it with
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  my kids. But if I'm writing like, and I'm
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  like writing the story and it's just very raw.
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  It's like I don't, I have to find a space where there's
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  nobody around me, so. We can get in the zone.
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  Yes, exactly. Gotcha, gotcha.
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  So what was University of Miami like when you were there?
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  Because I actually just went there recently to interview a
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  professor there and she'd and she'd been there, she'd gone to
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  school there and she was telling me about some of the changes
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  that have happened since the 80s, you know, at University of
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  Miami. But would you, what was your
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  experience like there? What was it?
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  What were the What was it like? That's funny you say that
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  because I, I like, I got an alumni magazine and it was like
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  showing all the articles of like, you know, 100 years of,
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  UM, and, and all the football team and the, the library.
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  So it does have a really long history.
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  But when I was there, what I can remember most was I guess the
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  creative writing department, my professors, they were really
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  cool and they would allow me to kind of sit in on the, on their
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  graduate classes. So I was an undergrad and knew
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  how serious. Yeah.
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  So it was really cool to kind of sit in and actually like I would
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  participate in the assignments. I wouldn't get graded because
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  I'm not officially in the class, but yeah, I would, you know, do
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  it. And, and so they were really
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  open and flexible about just letting me sit in their grad
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  classes. So I, I kind of, you know, they
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  had. That experience too, by the way.
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  Yeah, I wonder if that's, I wonder if that's an English
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  thing, because I think that like I had professors that would just
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  like, if I like them, I would just pop into all their classes
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  and, you know, they'd welcome you and they'd be.
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  And then, you know, and they'd be like, you know, we're happy
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  you're here. And like, if you're here to
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  learn about things that you're interested in, then like, come
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  on in, you know, like, who cares about, who cares about the
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  grade? Like if you want to learn, you
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  want to hang out, then hang out. One thing I, I realized
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  recently, because I, I was, I'm always trying to think about
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  ways to kind of be a better teacher.
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  I'm not, you know, I, I, because I have to figure out how to
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  balance time and to be a good teacher, you really need to
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  invest a lot of a lot into feedback, a lot into grading, a
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  lot into responsiveness. Like that's most of where kids
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  learn from is, is, you know, the, the response to their own
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  behavior. I feel like because that's what
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  they're all they're focused on, you know, like, you know, I
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  remember I, I just as a student, I would, I would never care
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  about anyone else's work. You know, I'd want to know what,
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  you know, what I was doing and then what I could do better or
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  worse, you know, whatever I was doing.
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  And I told. And so I told the students,
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  like, I'm here because I'm excited to be here and because I
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  want to volunteer my time and like, do this, but you guys
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  aren't coming at this from the same place as me.
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  You guys are here because you have to be here and because your
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  parents will kill you if you're not here.
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  It's like you don't feel like you really you should be there,
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  you know, and like, you don't really care whether you're there
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  or not or what's happening in class.
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  And so I think it's so refreshing that, you know, for
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  professors, when you see that people are willing to, you know,
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  take a graduate, you know, take a, you know, go to college and
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  get a higher degree in the English language or, you know,
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  creative writing. Like they know that you're doing
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  that because you want to be there, you know, And so, and,
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  and so they know that you're going to be like excited and
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  invested and you want to learn. And like, I think that that's
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  kind of what the value of that world is, is like, you know,
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  like you're not there because you have to be, because it's
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  going to hook you up with a good job afterwards.
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  Like it's notorious for not doing that, you know, but you do
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  it because of passion. You do it because you love it.
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  Yeah, it's true. Like even now, like in my
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  master's program, you know, they're, they do the best that
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  they can to try to pace you for work.
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  You know, there's mentorship, mentorship and internships,
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  which I couldn't do the internships because I was, you
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  know, I had a full time job as a teacher.
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  So, you know, I, I did a lot of mentoring, but I think they
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  really want to help you succeed. But what do?
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  They do. Well, my, my schooling was
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  online, so they would, I would meet with like a publishing
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  professor like every month and just talk to them.
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  They would tell me their journey.
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  And a lot of their journey was just like, you know, good luck,
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  honestly. Like, you know, and I'm like,
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  I'm, I'm going to school. I'm, you know, working, you
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  know, hard to get in this field. And like, you have the story of
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  this guy who's like, goes to the bar and meets somebody who just
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  so happens to work like in this great publishing house.
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  And it's like, come apply, you know, like.
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  And then, you know, all these stories that I'm like, wow.
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  It's just like, really good luck, you know, how these people
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  get in. Yeah.
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  So, you know, it's it was a little bit like, it's
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  heartening, but, you know, I'm. I'm so I'm still trying to get
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  my first publishing job and that's why I'm doing a lot of
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  blog writing because I think, you know, I have to like a lot
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  of people kind of do like do entrepreneurship and try to make
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  their way. If they can't get into a
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  publishing house, they'll just kind of, you know, self publish
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  or write, write their own stuff and kind of, you know, go
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  through that route. You have to learn how to be kind
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  of flexible in the writing career.
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  Yeah. So why don't you, do you know
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  how the publishing process works to get your work submitted?
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  Yeah. What's the process for that
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  like? So for people who are
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  interested, you definitely have to research the publishing
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  houses and see if your work matches theirs because a lot of
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  the times when you get rejections is because your work
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  is not like what they want or what they're looking for.
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  You know, you have to. So once you have, you can see
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  it. And if there's open submissions,
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  you can, you know, submit there's like, you know,
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  guidelines for how to send your manuscripts.
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  It's kind of rare to kind of have open submissions, maybe
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  like small publishing houses who are still looking to publish,
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  but most of the time you'll probably need a literary agent
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  to represent you and submit your work for you.
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  So the dynamic is that the writers want them more than they
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  want the writers. Yeah, for sure.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  And because I see, so it's publishing is almost like any
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  other aspect of entertainment in terms of like acting or, you
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  know, directing or anything like that.
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  Like, you know, there's the big people that will give you your
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  jobs. You have the studios, you have
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  whatever. And then you have your agent
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  because you're talented, but no one would have ever have heard
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  of you. And there's so many people out
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  there always trying to get their work submitted and trying to get
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  famous overnight that that a lot of that that they're probably
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  overwhelmed all the time with submissions.
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  That's why I mean, so publishing is the same way.
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  So you have. Yeah, it's very elite.
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  It's very elite. And almost like you have to be a
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  celebrity. You have to have like a big
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  following in social media for people to really like want you.
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  That's why that's why, you know, I'm trying to blog, right?
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  I'm trying to like build my audience.
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  You know, you if you have to make yourself like marketable,
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  so it is, it's very elite. You have to, you know, sell
• 13:28
  yourself basically. It's not just a writing.
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  There's so much more. At the end of the day, it's a
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  business and they want to make sure that if you publish I'm not
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  being somebody's, you have an audience and fans to buy it.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I always talk good.
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  It's funny. I I love, I, I love live music.
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  I love going to loving. I love going to hear music.
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  And I've always found that like all these like local little
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  joints and local little bars or whatever have these incredible,
• 13:54
  incredible musicians that come play.
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  And I realized that like there's a lot more talent in this world
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  than there is fame. You know, there's a lot more
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  people that are talented, that are capable that like what
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  publishing or write or do incredible, incredible,
• 14:08
  incredible creative endeavors and don't.
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  And you'll never hear of them, you know, and they'll be in a
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  local coffee shop somewhere or in the subway or, you know,
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  trying to play on this, you know, trying to trying to busk
• 14:17
  in Ireland or something like that, you know, and, and, and
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  you'll never know, you know, you'll never hear of them ever
• 14:22
  again. And like, and then, you know,
• 14:24
  then you have, you know, you keep on having guys like, what's
• 14:28
  Harrison Ford, you know, at 95 years old, you know, being cast
• 14:33
  in movies over and over and over again.
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  And you're like, what about all the young?
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  What about all the, you know, people that are like ready to
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  go? What about all the new talent?
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  What about all the exciting young, you know, young potential
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  out there? But I feel like a lot of
• 14:45
  industries are like that, that they're just kind of like
• 14:47
  they're hanging on to like the old and they're not letting the
• 14:49
  new in. Yeah, it's true.
• 14:53
  You know, like they say in writing, you're not going to get
• 14:57
  famous, you're not going to get rich off of writing like, you
• 15:00
  know, like those best sellers or you know, Stephen King.
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  You know, you can't like you have to define your own success.
• 15:06
  Like what is success for you? Like even if it's just like one
• 15:10
  small published, you know, publishing house, you publish a
• 15:13
  book or even self publish because self published is not
• 15:16
  what people think. It's it's very respectable
• 15:19
  nowadays. Yeah.
• 15:22
  Like, before it used to be taboo, but now it's like, you
• 15:24
  know, it's kind of a path into publishing.
• 15:28
  So yeah, you have to measure what success is for you,
• 15:33
  especially as a writer, because it's, it's definitely not for,
• 15:38
  you know, getting, yeah, not getting rich and famous, you
• 15:41
  know? Yeah, I was just, it's so funny
• 15:44
  you say that because I was just in Amsterdam last week and I've
• 15:47
  never been there before it. Was.
• 15:49
  It was. Awesome.
• 15:50
  It was such a great place. I've been raving about it since
• 15:53
  I got since I left, but since I got there even.
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  But one thing I was, you know, and I took a riverboat tour with
• 15:59
  one of my friends and, and I'm talking to one of the women that
• 16:05
  was on the, that guys, I was working there.
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  And she is Egyptian, Argentinian, That's where our
• 16:13
  family. And then she grew up in the UAE
• 16:15
  and we're just talking about like how we enjoyed the pace and
• 16:21
  like the quality of life. And she was also, I, I think an
• 16:24
  English or communications major or something like that.
• 16:27
  She wanted to go into like charity worker and we're talking
• 16:30
  about how in the states people are just like sell their mothers
• 16:34
  if they needed, you know, for for to, to get ahead.
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  And like she's like, there's so many artists with integrity here
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  and there's so many, you know, people with like that that don't
• 16:43
  care about the money and like don't want don't care to be
• 16:45
  bought out. And they just have their own
• 16:47
  like what you were saying they had their own measurement of
• 16:49
  success, you know, in their head.
• 16:50
  Like, listen, success for me is finishing this incredible poem
• 16:55
  that really describes the way that, you know, the turmoil that
• 16:58
  I'm going through in this point of my life that my family can't.
• 17:00
  Like, that's what I think when I write a lot, when I when I
• 17:02
  capture how I feel, I think one of my kids and grandkids going
• 17:06
  to read this one, you know, hopefully read this one day.
• 17:09
  And when they're going through the same thing, like to me,
• 17:11
  that's successful. Like, you know, I mean, I could,
• 17:13
  you know, that's that's way more important than getting published
• 17:16
  and massive success and not being able to walk outside
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  without an entourage, you know, that without the paparazzi or a
• 17:21
  bunch of people trying to dock you there, you know?
• 17:24
  Yeah, I had just like the other day, I was like packing up and
• 17:29
  there was like I saw like this little tote bag that I picked up
• 17:32
  at A at a book fair in Mexico. And it's like it says at the end
• 17:37
  of the day or something like that, we all become stories.
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  And it's true, like what you're saying.
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  And it's just like, step with me.
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  I'm like, it's true. You know, you're and you want to
• 17:45
  tell those stories and you have talented writers in your family,
• 17:48
  You know, that's awesome that can tell the story of your
• 17:52
  family. And a lot of people do like
• 17:53
  publish books about their family and kind of just.
• 17:56
  Yeah, yeah. Just if that's their successor,
• 17:59
  publishing something that they can pass down.
• 18:01
  This is your family legacy. This is the story.
• 18:04
  Because, you know. Yeah.
• 18:07
  So what's your what's your writing process?
• 18:08
  How often do you write these days?
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  Or not often? Or when you were writing, what
• 18:11
  was your process? You know, I think I really got
• 18:17
  heavily into it when I moved abroad because I where were you
• 18:22
  this year? This year we we moved to
• 18:25
  Monterrey, Mexico for my son. My son plays soccer and, you
• 18:33
  know, we're kind of supporting his career.
• 18:37
  So my husband did. Yeah, my, my husband did live in
• 18:39
  the Netherlands last year, like the year before.
• 18:44
  And we were separated. Like he was with my, my son.
• 18:48
  And then I was with the rest of the kids in the United States.
• 18:50
  And he was just like, you know, got him in the clubs and doing
• 18:54
  all that stuff. And then we were trying to
• 18:57
  figure out what he did. For his career.
• 18:59
  Yeah. It's really amazing.
• 19:01
  This year we were like, OK, let's try to figure out how we
• 19:04
  could do this together, you know, because it was very tough.
• 19:08
  So we found a way to like do it in Mexico because I'm part
• 19:11
  Mexican. So I ended up getting my city,
• 19:15
  you know, you can have your dual citizenship people United States
• 19:18
  and Mexican. So I, I ended up getting my
• 19:21
  citizenship, passing it down to my kids and then getting my
• 19:25
  husband in. And we all like, this happened
• 19:27
  like in one summer, like, OK, we get all the paperwork and we
• 19:31
  went and I spent some time teaching English in the schools
• 19:35
  there. And then like half the year I
• 19:37
  kind of finished out my masters and just was writing full, you
• 19:43
  know, just like, oh, yeah. And it takes a while, you know.
• 19:46
  Yeah. I was like, it kind of tapped
• 19:49
  into, I think when you live abroad, you learn more about
• 19:52
  yourself. You learn what you don't want to
• 19:54
  do. And that's when I realized, you
• 19:56
  know what I really don't want to teach.
• 20:00
  This is what I love. I love literature.
• 20:02
  I love I was. And so I kind of just.
• 20:06
  Focused on writing even more, I started up my blogs again
• 20:09
  because I would start up blogs and never finish them or not be,
• 20:12
  you know, consistent because you have to like that's the.
• 20:15
  Hardest thing with that's the hardest thing with writing, it's
• 20:17
  the hardest. Thing yes, and and there was a
• 20:21
  class in publishing that's like it was very important.
• 20:23
  It's like if you want to be a credible publisher, you have to
• 20:26
  be consistent. You know you, and that's how
• 20:29
  you're trustworthy, you know, otherwise, if you're publishing
• 20:32
  randomly, you're not, you know, you're not going to be
• 20:34
  trustworthy. Yeah.
• 20:36
  So I mean, that's what I struggle with.
• 20:37
  But you don't have to set a time.
• 20:39
  But I was writing a lot, you know, and started up my blog.
• 20:45
  You, you, you sit down. You just sit down at dark room
• 20:47
  and you just go for it. Do you need light?
• 20:49
  Do you need music playing? What do you?
• 20:51
  Do No. I mean, honestly, I I wish, you
• 20:55
  know, I read a lot of stories of writers that have their own
• 20:57
  process. Like Maya Angelou would like,
• 20:59
  rent a hotel room and write all day.
• 21:01
  Oh, yeah. And then.
• 21:02
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 21:03
  But. That's a change of scenery, by
• 21:05
  the way, I'm sure. And but she would rent like not
• 21:08
  a she would rent like in a cheesy, like like a really like
• 21:11
  sketchy hotel and like, I guess cuz she, you know, to get into
• 21:15
  the grittiness of her story, like it wasn't like she's like
• 21:18
  in a night 5 star hotel. She would get a motel, actually,
• 21:21
  and write. Yeah.
• 21:23
  And then and then I would read some, you know, stories about
• 21:27
  other writers like Sandra Cisneros, like she got her her
• 21:31
  fellow, like her grant. And she wrote in one of her
• 21:34
  favorite books in like the Greek, in Greek, in like the
• 21:37
  islands of and Greece. And I'm like, well, that's nice.
• 21:40
  You know, I, I just had to write in the mid sometimes, you know,
• 21:47
  when the kids are upstairs or the kids are out of the house or
• 21:50
  sometimes early in the morning, you know, when they're kind of
• 21:54
  sleeping, but they would wake up, you know, so you just got to
• 21:58
  do what, what you have to and just kind of right.
• 22:01
  Sometimes I'd have to stop and then come back to it and attend
• 22:04
  to my kids and then come back to it, you know?
• 22:07
  Yeah. And then you have to start over,
• 22:08
  get yourself back in that. Zone.
• 22:09
  Yeah, you know you're starting. You're in a flow and then you're
• 22:12
  like, you get up and then you come back and you're like, where
• 22:14
  was I? You almost wish you could just
• 22:16
  pick up from like. Exactly.
• 22:19
  Yeah, I'll be writing in them. And because they're like, I'm
• 22:21
  hungry. I'm like, wait, can you just
• 22:23
  wait? And I'm like, you know, but
• 22:28
  there are some writers that were like, I would, you know, Google,
• 22:31
  like, can you know, ChatGPT, like, can you give me some
• 22:35
  inspiration like of, of, you know, mom writers And they like
• 22:39
  they would tell me, OK, don't worry.
• 22:40
  You know, these, you know, who was it Harry Potter that the
• 22:45
  author, she would, she, she would write like in a cafe with
• 22:49
  her baby in the stroller next to her, you know?
• 22:53
  Yeah. And I think Toni Morrison wrote
• 22:55
  as a single mom, you know, so there's a lot of writers that
• 23:00
  do, you know, they do it and you get inspired.
• 23:02
  You're like, OK, you know, they did it somehow.
• 23:07
  And as a mom writing and, and sometimes you kind of feel like,
• 23:12
  you know, there was one. There was a writer, Sandra
• 23:14
  Cisneros. She's my favorite writer.
• 23:15
  And I had to remember reading a interview from her and she and a
• 23:20
  student had written to her and said, I go what, what I think it
• 23:23
  was like an interview that I read like people are like, what
• 23:26
  advice you should have as a writer.
• 23:28
  And one of her advice was like, don't have kids.
• 23:31
  And I'm like, how can you give advice like, and I love to it
• 23:35
  broke my heart to read that. But I understood, like where
• 23:37
  she's coming from because, you know, a lot of, you know, you
• 23:40
  know, if you're going to be focused on your own, it's, it's
• 23:42
  hard. But yeah, I was like, Oh my God,
• 23:46
  you know how this is like horrible.
• 23:47
  I have like 4 kids, you know, how am I going to do this?
• 23:50
  But. And then I had to find other
• 23:52
  writers that did have kids and they did do it and like, you
• 23:56
  know, read their BIOS to kind of get inspiration.
• 23:59
  Yeah. Like, I could do this.
• 24:00
  I could do this. Yeah.
• 24:02
  Totally, totally, totally. That's where music helps me
• 24:04
  actually. That's a lot of times when I'm
• 24:07
  going through like particular phases in my life and you know,
• 24:11
  I kind of, I need that little like push in my head to convince
• 24:15
  myself that I could do it. You know, a lot of times I'll
• 24:18
  find music that will match the tone of either how I feel or
• 24:26
  will like, you know, like Springsteen was like a huge
• 24:31
  example in terms of, you know, if I was really feeling lost and
• 24:35
  like I, I was trying to like, figure out my way through life
• 24:37
  and like, I felt like no one, like everyone else hadn't worked
• 24:40
  out except for me, you know, or even, you know, like I'm never
• 24:43
  going to get it worked out. You know, I'd listen to his, I'd
• 24:46
  listen to, you know, his Born to Run album and like I'd hear that
• 24:49
  there's other humans, not only though there's another artist
• 24:52
  out there that felt that way, but there's millions and
• 24:55
  millions of people for the last 50 years that keep going to his
• 24:58
  shows because they feel the same way too.
• 25:00
  And like, you know, and like you feel through that and you
• 25:02
  realize that like you're not the only one out there that's going
• 25:05
  through this. And like, you could make it, you
• 25:07
  know, like you could, you could go another day.
• 25:09
  But even in terms of my creative writing, sometimes, you know,
• 25:12
  like I, it's always, it's obviously almost like, like a
• 25:15
  muscle, you know, and, or like, you know, like putty, like you
• 25:18
  got like really pull at it. And then and then and it gets
• 25:20
  stretched out. I would listen to Van Morrison
• 25:24
  and Bob Dylan because they were like, they had these weird, like
• 25:28
  first of all, the writing, they're like the actual poetry
• 25:31
  is just bizarre, you know, and, and very spiritual and very
• 25:36
  retail and like, very like, you know, almost like prophetic.
• 25:40
  And then Bob Dylan is just a word vomit of like poetry, you
• 25:45
  know, like he just jams all these lyrics.
• 25:47
  And and so I'll just listen and I'll listen to just the details
• 25:50
  of the craziness and the wackiness and be like, oh, like
• 25:54
  that's fun. Like, you know, you could do
• 25:55
  that. Like, you know, and, and and
• 25:57
  that really that kind of clicks my brain into, yeah, I do find
• 26:00
  obviously that like you, you could tell when I finish that
• 26:03
  there's inspiration. Like you could tell that some of
• 26:06
  the imagery will tend to match, but that's how I, that's how I
• 26:10
  get like, you know, the ball rolling for myself sometimes
• 26:12
  It's music is really, really helpful in that sense.
• 26:15
  Yeah, I think when you're a creative person, you just tapped
• 26:19
  into like a lot of different creativity, like forms of
• 26:22
  creativity, like whether it's music, art, you know?
• 26:27
  Yeah, I have to get into art. I have to get more into art
• 26:30
  rather. But yeah, as far as like, I look
• 26:33
  at, I look at film or I look at certain directors or, you know,
• 26:38
  yeah, movies, like I watched them as art.
• 26:41
  Like, I watched them as like, oh, what's this guy?
• 26:43
  You know, one of my favorite examples is Scorsese's Mean
• 26:47
  Streets. I don't know if you ever saw
• 26:50
  that movie, but it's it the whole movie.
• 26:54
  Like Scorsese always did this thing, and that's what made Wolf
• 26:57
  on Wall Street. I think part of what, like was
• 26:59
  so cool about it. His style is that first of all,
• 27:04
  he uses a lot of narration. So he'll have the, you know, the
• 27:07
  main guy's voice telling you the whole story.
• 27:08
  And then he'll he'll freeze a shot at one particular moment.
• 27:13
  And it's usually like a sloppy or degenerate moment to like
• 27:16
  force the audience to that, like to talk, to force the audience
• 27:19
  and understanding that this is what's happening right now and
• 27:22
  this is a pivotal moment. And like all this corruption and
• 27:26
  all this, whatever, this is the moment where it's starting and
• 27:29
  this is the moment where it's falling apart.
• 27:30
  And like, he actually will break down the narrative for you, if
• 27:34
  you're, if you will, if you're willing to open your eyes to it,
• 27:36
  you know, like he almost like forces that perspective on you.
• 27:38
  It's awesome. Yeah, movies are definitely an
• 27:43
  inspiration for me in my writing too.
• 27:45
  Like when I, when I was doing research for my novel, I would,
• 27:49
  I would rent a lot of movies that were kind of like the theme
• 27:52
  of my novel and kind of like the storyline.
• 27:55
  And I would, you know, analyze the movies.
• 27:59
  It's a coming of age. So, and it's definitely like,
• 28:03
  but it has like vibes of like Jersey, like, you know, Jersey
• 28:06
  girl who wants to like live in the city.
• 28:08
  So I, I, you know, I got a lot of themes of like, like Mystic
• 28:12
  pizza was like an old store. Like, you know, I watched that
• 28:15
  one Jersey girl. Like a lot of these even, or
• 28:19
  even like stories that were like, you know, rags to riches
• 28:22
  type of stories I watched. What is it?
• 28:26
  My goodness, I don't know. I can't even think of in the
• 28:29
  head, but. But yeah.
• 28:31
  And because script writing is all do you?
• 28:34
  Watch Personally Being a Wildflower.
• 28:36
  No, I I heard of that book. That's yeah, the book.
• 28:40
  The book and the movie are both excellent.
• 28:42
  They're both great coming of age stories that might be able to
• 28:47
  help with some inspiration. How long are you working on the
• 28:52
  novel for? So look, that, that has been a
• 28:57
  while and I think, and it's really sad because, but I, but,
• 29:02
  you know, it's not, it's typical.
• 29:03
  A lot of writers have novels that they've been working on for
• 29:07
  like years. So I, I started like, it's gonna
• 29:11
  be like 10 years, but it's not that I have been.
• 29:14
  So I, I like, I started it and then I took a big gap away from
• 29:19
  it and then I kind of finished the last chapter like this year
• 29:24
  because I had to like 90% and like that closing chapter I just
• 29:28
  didn't finish. Yeah.
• 29:29
  And so and then I finally finished it and now I'm in the
• 29:33
  editing phase where I have to go back and edit and kind of fix it
• 29:38
  up. But what?
• 29:39
  Did it feel like when you finally finished it, when you
• 29:41
  finished that last? Chapter, it was great because
• 29:43
  they say that that's like the hardest part is like is
• 29:46
  finishing your first draft. Yeah, like finishing it
• 29:49
  completely and then going back and editing is like, you know,
• 29:54
  it's easier. But yeah.
• 29:56
  And I think like, as I look back at right now, like the time, I'm
• 29:59
  like that time did help shape the story because I think it
• 30:02
  would have been different if I didn't have, like, this
• 30:05
  perspective on. Like it changes, you know, like
• 30:08
  what you think your story is about, especially time in
• 30:11
  between, it kind of helps you. Like what is the true message of
• 30:15
  my story? But yeah, so it.
• 30:18
  Could be a cool exercise to try to continue the story like on a
• 30:22
  separate like creative like endeavour to continue.
• 30:25
  Try to continue the story from the perspective.
• 30:26
  Try to remember what things were like when you started it, you
• 30:29
  know, like what your life was like at that point.
• 30:31
  And then try to continue in that mindset.
• 30:33
  I don't know if you can, but it sounds like a cool idea.
• 30:36
  You know, a lot of there's this thing, if you kind of just
• 30:40
  reminded me, I just discovered it.
• 30:42
  It's called like I think 750 words a day, I think.
• 30:47
  And it's like it's a website and you have to you go on and you
• 30:52
  write 750 words. Yeah, sevenits750words.com and
• 30:57
  you and it and it makes you wake up, I've heard.
• 31:00
  Of this. Yeah, and then you just write
• 31:03
  like your first, it's supposed to be equivalent of 3 pages,
• 31:06
  like your first 3 pages a day. They, they created it to 750
• 31:10
  words. And I had read about a writer
• 31:13
  who kind of like does that as part of her writing routine,
• 31:17
  warming up or even like giving back on information on like what
• 31:21
  she's doing that day. So like how you said you can go
• 31:23
  back and think of like, it's like journaling, OK.
• 31:25
  Like I'm, you know, this morning I had a cup of coffee.
• 31:28
  I wore my favorite like cats, you know, T-shirt, Broadway
• 31:33
  T-shirt, whatever. Cuz the details are always
• 31:37
  what's important in writing. So if you capture little details
• 31:41
  you can incorporate that in your writing.
• 31:43
  So I'm trying to make. That makes good writing.
• 31:45
  There's all. That yeah, yeah.
• 31:47
  So I'm trying to be consistent with that too.
• 31:50
  And it's good because it kind of tracks, you know?
• 31:52
  OK, are you on a streak? You know, it's kind of like it's
• 31:56
  AI, so it helps you, you know, and I think these AI tools kind
• 32:00
  of I, I, I like it. I do like the old school
• 32:03
  journals because I had journals back then when I was in college.
• 32:06
  But I do like this because it helps me know, OK, I, I missed
• 32:11
  like 3 days, you know, I have to let me go back.
• 32:14
  Yeah. Yeah, totally.
• 32:16
  I think AI is great for collaboration.
• 32:18
  I think it really is. I think that like, you know, for
• 32:22
  anything, you know, for writing for, you know, for my podcast,
• 32:25
  for, for even for business. I was talking to my
• 32:28
  brother-in-law about this because we were talking about
• 32:32
  his family's from Philly originally and then they live in
• 32:35
  in Jersey now in in Passaic area.
• 32:38
  And we're talking about how you like, we will all the steps that
• 32:45
  it takes to that it used to take to write, to brainstorm, to, you
• 32:51
  know, to get to get leads for sales, for customers, for for
• 32:54
  anything you want to do, for marketing, for networking, All
• 32:58
  that could be done in a fraction of the time, in a fraction of
• 33:03
  the time with AI, you know what takes people.
• 33:04
  Years. Of like networking, like even
• 33:07
  with this podcast, right? Like with my podcast, I just
• 33:11
  went to AI was like, listen, I'm interested in XY and Z, can you
• 33:13
  please crawl my podcast site for the types of guests that I have
• 33:17
  and give me 10 recommendations of people or types of people to
• 33:19
  talk to. And that saved me and what would
• 33:23
  have taken me what I know, because until I thought of doing
• 33:25
  that, I was literally spending 3-4 hours a night, you know?
• 33:28
  Just. Looking up just to send out five
• 33:30
  or six emails to people to introduce myself.
• 33:33
  And it does this in a matter of seconds.
• 33:34
  And so like, Oh my God, now I have more time to do everything
• 33:37
  I've, you know, so, so I think that if like what we're going to
• 33:42
  need now it with AI, if we use it as a good like companion,
• 33:47
  it's just a discipline to actually use the tools, like the
• 33:50
  tool, like all the information is being given to us.
• 33:52
  And the question is, are you actually going to pick up the
• 33:54
  pen in right now? Are you going to, you know,
• 33:56
  actually open the docs and and, you know, do and and do the
• 33:58
  creative writing now that you have?
• 34:00
  These ideas. Now that you have this
• 34:01
  assistant, you know. It's true because now like, you
• 34:05
  know, writers sometimes like your writer, you just want to
• 34:08
  write your story. You don't want to like focus on
• 34:11
  like my social media post because and, and social media is
• 34:14
  so important as a writer, you know, developing your presence,
• 34:18
  but if you're managing your social media, you can't get back
• 34:21
  to your, your writing and what you really want to do.
• 34:24
  Yeah, totally. I, I that's what I'm stuck with
• 34:26
  right now. I'm trying to figure out how to,
• 34:29
  you know, I, I can't, I have such a, I have such a hard time.
• 34:33
  And I also don't care for, to, you know, to deal with social
• 34:36
  media. And I know how unhealthy it is
• 34:38
  for my, for my brain. Even something stupid like I
• 34:42
  leave a comment on something on Twitter, right?
• 34:45
  And I get 2 responses into the most vehement, obnoxious
• 34:48
  responses to something that was, you know, that was just like a
• 34:51
  polite joke, you know, whatever it is.
• 34:53
  And maybe it's obviously being misinterpreted and that's, you
• 34:56
  know, that's fine. But like, just that amount of
• 34:59
  like yelling and negativity in order just to keep up a presence
• 35:03
  so that you can continue being creative is crazy.
• 35:06
  Like, it's crazy you have to deal with that, you know?
• 35:10
  But that's why, you know, that's why you have to hire some kid to
• 35:15
  do it. You know, that you have to get,
• 35:16
  you know, some high school that's looking for an internship
• 35:20
  or work experience. And, you know, they're doing
• 35:22
  this anyway. But yeah.
• 35:25
  The AI tools, you know, there's like a, I guess talk and
• 35:29
  publishing that like AI is taking all the entry level jobs,
• 35:33
  you know, that they can, they can do like, and they can whip
• 35:37
  up these like, you know, stories that are, you know, that don't
• 35:41
  really need, you know, a writer behind it.
• 35:45
  Honestly, like everyone, I like, I have written a article so far
• 35:49
  back about like how newspapers were using AI to like dish out
• 35:54
  news like, you know, because it's straight to the fact
• 35:56
  there's no creative, you know, you know, very journalistic, you
• 35:59
  know, like was it the Washington Post had, I think it's called
• 36:02
  like Paleo or Helio, something that that was their AI.
• 36:08
  But nowadays it's it's true, like, you know, the AI clicks
• 36:12
  with a lot of the. A ton, a ton.
• 36:16
  And, and the truth is that like you can discern for sure.
• 36:21
  I I think like you can kind of tell once you start to realize
• 36:24
  the pattern, you can recognize like what's AI created or not.
• 36:29
  It's funny why students try using it.
• 36:31
  It's so cute. They're like, you know, they're
• 36:32
  10th graders and their vocabulary, the level of 6th
• 36:36
  graders. And all of a sudden they're
• 36:37
  using words like, you know, oblique.
• 36:39
  And I'm like subsequently and I'm like, you don't know how to
• 36:42
  use the word subsequently ever. Man, I don't know what you're
• 36:45
  talking about, but but but I don't even mind if they use it.
• 36:50
  What I told them is that a kid? What I, and I struggle with this
• 36:53
  trying to figure out what's the point?
• 36:54
  Like what are you trying to teach in English If AI is doing
• 36:57
  all this stuff, like what are you trying to teach?
• 36:59
  And I think that, and I think for me, the answer is
• 37:02
  communication and your ability to express yourself, because AI
• 37:05
  will never really be able to express your own thoughts.
• 37:08
  And I've known in my life at least, that the times that I've
• 37:12
  been most depressed or anxious or that things have weighed like
• 37:16
  life has weighed most heavily on me, is when I could not find a
• 37:19
  way to express myself or I had the words to describe it.
• 37:22
  And then like almost once I figure out a way to get it out,
• 37:24
  then I, once I figure out a way to get it out, the burden is
• 37:30
  almost like partial, almost like, you know, half of it's
• 37:33
  gone, you know, like just saying the words and just getting it
• 37:35
  out like helps you. But until then, it's kind of
• 37:38
  just living in your head and it just weighs on you, you know?
• 37:43
  Yeah, I think, I think AI really has helped like students who
• 37:50
  have been like, I guess, you know, below proficiency or, or
• 37:55
  maybe have, you know, challenges with, with writing because you
• 38:02
  know, there's, there's everybody has their skill.
• 38:04
  If they're like, you know, I had I remember there was a student
• 38:06
  in my class and he you know, he is she struggled with writing
• 38:11
  and when ChatGPT came up, I'm just like use it, help it write
• 38:17
  your rough draft and then like always have a rough draft and
• 38:21
  then use it to level level up and then word edit it from
• 38:26
  it'll. So I think it does, it does, I
• 38:31
  guess, help people who kind of, you know, writing is writing is
• 38:35
  hard and writing isn't for everyone and not everyone is, is
• 38:39
  a skilled writer. So it does help, you know, it,
• 38:44
  it helps level up people who kind of really need it 'cause
• 38:46
  they have other talents that if it can't be seen if their
• 38:50
  writing is, is bad. So, yeah.
• 38:54
  So I think it like I, you know, when I think of my kids future,
• 38:56
  you know, my students as well, I'm like, you know, I, I hope
• 39:00
  that, you know, ChatGPT and things like that can help them
• 39:04
  become a better writer so that they can succeed in college and,
• 39:08
  and, you know, use it. But yeah, definitely not
• 39:10
  plagiarizing, but helping them feel but get the confidence to
• 39:14
  like, oh, I wrote this, this kind of sounds good.
• 39:16
  You know, I can't really like do something like this.
• 39:20
  So, yeah, it is boosting confidence, I think, and
• 39:23
  helping, you know, being efficient for for writers for,
• 39:26
  you know, to, you know, focus on the things that they like to do
• 39:31
  and pick the platforms that they liked.
• 39:34
  Like, like LinkedIn is supposed to have a really good reputation
• 39:38
  for being a positive platform. Like when in my studies and
• 39:41
  publishing they were talking about how like different
• 39:44
  platforms, like the psychology of platforms.
• 39:47
  That's so. Cool your, your ego, your like
• 39:50
  the different levels of your psychology and like what each
• 39:54
  platform does and how like for Instagram and and Facebook, you
• 40:00
  want to like show your, you're like, I think like super Eagle
• 40:03
  or something like that. And you want to, you know, show
• 40:06
  your best self. You're not really being
• 40:08
  authentic, but you want people, you want to prove your, your
• 40:11
  like, what people want to see. Like, you know, the outside.
• 40:14
  It's not really true. It's superficial, right?
• 40:17
  It's superficial, exactly, but LinkedIn is very like you know
• 40:23
  it. Really is.
• 40:25
  It's such a positive network. Yeah, I've found.
• 40:27
  Also like that people are like, it's an awesome tool for
• 40:33
  network, like really an awesome tool for networking and not in
• 40:36
  like the lazy. It's funny because I feel like
• 40:38
  there's a lazy way to network and that's like people that have
• 40:40
  like those 500 connections, but like don't know any of them are.
• 40:43
  And like, they just kind of add people all the time, which is
• 40:46
  like one thing. But.
• 40:48
  Actually, I use LinkedIn to like find people that have jobs that
• 40:51
  I think are interesting or like cool, you know, do cool things.
• 40:54
  And then I'll and then like, and then you could just introduce
• 40:58
  yourself. Like you could like find you can
• 41:00
  introduce yourself to find you find you find the company e-mail
• 41:02
  address and you say, Hey, you know, I think what you do is
• 41:04
  super cool. I'd love to, I'd love to
• 41:05
  introduce myself and just get, you know, get to know, you know
• 41:08
  what you do a little bit. And people have been so
• 41:11
  receptive to that. Like I've really found that even
• 41:14
  people that don't even want necessarily want to give the
• 41:16
  time, they'll respond. You'll be like, hey, you know,
• 41:19
  thanks so much for reaching out. You know, I'm appreciate, you
• 41:21
  know, I have a ton of my plate right now, but you know, you can
• 41:23
  talk to my colleague XY and Z or, you know, if you're really
• 41:25
  interested, here's a couple of resources And you're it's, it's,
• 41:29
  it's a place that gets so much positive reinforcements.
• 41:32
  I wonder why it's not more more probably because it's it doesn't
• 41:35
  give you the same dopamine hit as seeing all the controversy as
• 41:38
  like, you know, Instagram or face or Twitter or something.
• 41:43
  But they are saying that the young like, you know, high
• 41:45
  schoolers are kind of going on it more and start like it's it
• 41:48
  is drawing a younger crowd. That's kind of I guess.
• 41:52
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 41:53
  In my in my class, they're talking about it.
• 41:56
  You know, the the kids are starting to put up, you know,
• 41:58
  look for internships. They're trying to network
• 42:00
  already. So.
• 42:02
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's a it's a cool
• 42:04
  tool. It's a really cool tool.
• 42:07
  What was living in Mexico like this year?
• 42:12
  So it was, it was a struggle. I think there was, it wasn't
• 42:18
  like one of those places where you're like, you know, a dream
• 42:24
  destination, like, you know, like maybe like for me, like I'm
• 42:27
  like, OK, Europe sounds pretty cool, like it sounds, but but
• 42:32
  Mexico was, was very rough. You know, there was a lot of
• 42:38
  things that, that we were going through as far as like, you
• 42:41
  know, like my son, he was going there for soccer.
• 42:44
  So he ends, he had a positive experience, you know, because he
• 42:47
  obviously we're, we're thankful he got a really good club.
• 42:50
  The club really supported him. But, and, and at school too,
• 42:55
  they accepted him because he's like the American kid.
• 42:57
  He, he doesn't know any Spanish, but he's learning Spanish and
• 42:59
  he's very open to, you know, the Mexican culture.
• 43:03
  You know, he's, he's, he's in love with it, you know, but he
• 43:08
  did deal with it. They're ready.
• 43:12
  They like to party. So, yeah, because as I'm driving
• 43:17
  around, they have ice cream shops, a lot of ice cream shops,
• 43:22
  a lot of like rental places for like dresses and tuxes for for
• 43:26
  like the quinceanera, which is like they're, you know, they're
• 43:29
  coming of age, you know, party that they have, you know,
• 43:33
  celebration for the young kids. So you have a lot of those
• 43:37
  businesses, you know, they're it's and then again, everybody
• 43:41
  is like having ice cream. Like we're driving around at 10
• 43:44
  at night and there's like a line of everybody, you know, waiting
• 43:47
  to get their ice cream till they do.
• 43:50
  They do like to enjoy life. And I did read that it's like 1
• 43:55
  of like the top ten places like in the world that kind of
• 43:59
  they're the happiest. They consider themselves like
• 44:01
  happy, you know, so you don't really have to have much.
• 44:05
  You know, it's a very rough like it's not like it's not that
• 44:09
  pretty. Like there's a lot of like
• 44:11
  litter on the street is very where I'm at.
• 44:13
  I was at Monterey. That's and it was.
• 44:16
  Monterey in the West. The West part.
• 44:20
  It's right. It's close to like Texas.
• 44:22
  It's close to which Texas border?
• 44:25
  Yeah. Gotcha.
• 44:26
  So kind of central. Yeah, so.
• 44:29
  Yeah, so it wasn't so pretty. But is it?
• 44:31
  But is it good culture? It was.
• 44:33
  They're very friendly and, and it would and they like to, you
• 44:39
  know, they like to really have fun with what they have.
• 44:42
  And they, you know, on Sundays, you can see that the families
• 44:44
  getting together, you know, they take out their, their table and
• 44:48
  the patio and they, you know, pull out the TV and they, they
• 44:51
  take it outside. They watch the, the games and,
• 44:53
  and grill and you know, they're, they're kind of every like
• 44:56
  Sunday. They're getting together as a
• 44:58
  family and friends doing that, so yeah.
• 45:02
  Yeah, the last I've noticed. I mean, every single time I've
• 45:06
  traveled out of the States almost, it's one thing I've
• 45:10
  noticed almost inevitably no matter where I'm going.
• 45:13
  And I've been to not a ton of places, but you know, let's say
• 45:18
  six or seven countries outside of the States.
• 45:22
  The culture is always about or always much more, it's much more
• 45:25
  social and much more about interaction and community and
• 45:29
  human, human interaction. Then I then I almost, I've seen
• 45:32
  almost anywhere in America, you know, like it.
• 45:35
  It's weird in the supermarket for people to not, you know,
• 45:39
  just ask a stranger a question about, you know, something that
• 45:41
  you're looking at or how does this look?
• 45:43
  Or, you know, have you had this before?
• 45:44
  And like, I think an American people are afraid to talk to
• 45:47
  each other. You have your headphones in and
• 45:49
  you go to the supermarket and like, it's considered rude to
• 45:51
  like bother someone and ask them a question.
• 45:53
  How do you know, what are you doing, You know, stop someone in
• 45:54
  the street and say if you know a good place to get coffee or what
• 45:57
  could I do here? And like in Europe, it's or, you
• 46:00
  know, in the other countries I've been to, it's it's the
• 46:02
  total opposite. You know, like you talk to the
• 46:05
  bus driver and you talk to, you know, you talk to your cab
• 46:08
  driver and like you the, the emphasis is a lot more on, on
• 46:13
  interaction. And I don't know why.
• 46:14
  I don't know what it is about here that we don't do that as
• 46:17
  much. It's, it's, it's strange to me,
• 46:19
  you know? Yeah, I, you know, I can say
• 46:23
  like, because I did spend time like teaching in the classroom.
• 46:27
  The kids are very, they're very welcoming.
• 46:31
  They're very friendly, even like where we lived in the community.
• 46:34
  Like, you know, the kids are playing all the time, like at
• 46:37
  night, they're in the little playground like late at night.
• 46:41
  And, and they wanted to, they were very welcoming of my kids
• 46:44
  who don't speak Spanish. So.
• 46:46
  And, you know, they weren't afraid to kind of, they're
• 46:50
  learning. Yeah.
• 46:51
  They're kind of, you know, yeah. And and they would just even the
• 46:55
  older ones would like talk to my four and five year old one, you
• 46:59
  know, and I'm like in a, in a playground in the, in the United
• 47:02
  States, like the older kids would not be trying to talk to
• 47:06
  the four and five year old. They would be like, you know,
• 47:08
  they would play. They were three to themselves or
• 47:11
  yeah. So it is like, like, like
• 47:15
  recently, like my daughter started summer camp and I'm
• 47:17
  like, how was your day? And she was like, good and bad.
• 47:20
  I'm like, what happened? She's like, like that.
• 47:22
  She asked one of the little kids like, oh, do you want to be my
• 47:25
  friend? And the little girl was like,
• 47:27
  I'll talk to you, but I won't be your friend.
• 47:29
  You know, I'm like, OK, I mean, I get it.
• 47:33
  But like, I'm thinking like, oh, in Mexico you would have, you
• 47:36
  know, like the kids are just. I don't think that would happen.
• 47:40
  I think, you know, they would just like talk and be friends
• 47:43
  and, you know, kind of be interested.
• 47:46
  But, you know, I think people are like more, I guess.
• 47:50
  I don't know, they're more mature or the kids are kind of
• 47:53
  making like, I don't know. It isn't just just there's a
• 47:56
  disconnect with like with like, I don't know, I'm with my friend
• 48:01
  and I'm like, do that, right? Do I do that and be like, no,
• 48:04
  you know what? I'm going to talk to you, but
• 48:06
  I'm not necessarily going to be your friend.
• 48:07
  That's like, wow, OK, well. I.
• 48:09
  When I went, so this trip to Amsterdam, I went with a friend
• 48:12
  of mine and, you know, and we're trying to get in, you know, and,
• 48:16
  you know, we get to the airport and when you land, we're walking
• 48:19
  out of the airport, we're going to try to take a train to our,
• 48:21
  our, our hotel for the night. And, and it turns out the the
• 48:27
  subway's down right, there was a worker strike.
• 48:29
  And so there's a cab driver driving around.
• 48:33
  So cab drivers are walking on the airport saying you need a
• 48:35
  cab, you need a cab, you need a cab.
• 48:37
  So my friend's ignoring them all that.
• 48:38
  I mean, I'm telling them no thanks, thank you.
• 48:40
  You know, have a, you know, have a good one.
• 48:41
  You know, I'm good. Thank you very much.
• 48:42
  I'm responding to them and it's a very like already like a very
• 48:46
  almost New Yorker American thing.
• 48:48
  Like someone talks to you, but like, you don't want their
• 48:50
  services. You just ignore them.
• 48:51
  You don't. You act like they're like, you
• 48:52
  know, part of the wall, but. Yeah.
• 48:55
  You know, and So what so we realized that that the Uber
• 48:58
  wasn't coming to the airport because it was packed and we
• 49:00
  realized that the subway was not running.
• 49:02
  So I so my friends, so I was like, dude, you know, now you
• 49:06
  burned all our bridges. All these people think you're a
• 49:08
  jerk. You've been ignoring them
• 49:09
  because I went up to one of the guys.
• 49:11
  I was like, you know, what's the cost to get to this place?
• 49:13
  Give me a ridiculous price, right?
• 49:15
  And I said, and my friends like, screw you, man.
• 49:19
  He just walked away and I was like, okay, man, what do you got
• 49:24
  to be? What can we do?
• 49:25
  Well, you know, like, what can we do?
• 49:26
  I know the, I know that you're looking for guys to take to the
• 49:29
  airport. And I was talking to the guy and
• 49:30
  then he was like, you know, what, if I can try to get a
• 49:32
  couple more people in my, in my, in my, in my car, then I could
• 49:35
  charge all of you a little bit less because I have more work
• 49:37
  and I have more people that, you know, that I'm taking.
• 49:39
  And we ended up working together to find like 7 different people
• 49:42
  to get into the cab together. And I feel like that wouldn't
• 49:45
  happen. You wouldn't get into a cab, you
• 49:47
  know, with, you know, or most people wouldn't get into a cab
• 49:49
  in LaGuardia with, you know, with a couple of other people
• 49:51
  that are saying we're going to Manhattan too, you know, like
• 49:54
  there's something, there's something about the culture.
• 49:56
  It's a little bit more like you treat a stranger like they're
• 50:01
  another human being. You don't treat them like
• 50:03
  they're a potential enemy. I think that in the States
• 50:05
  there's a big culture of like, I think that we're so a lot of
• 50:09
  people are so at each other's throats for so much and so many
• 50:11
  different potential ideas that like we kind of look at everyone
• 50:14
  like they're either a threat or they're your best friend in the
• 50:16
  entire world. And like, there's no middle
• 50:17
  ground. So I, I think that I think that
• 50:20
  that could be a lot of what it is.
• 50:22
  And that's a lot of the polarization that comes from
• 50:23
  social media. And that's a lot of the
• 50:25
  polarization that comes from, you know, just how vehement so
• 50:29
  many of our new sources and sources of information is.
• 50:32
  You know, like, I don't think Europeans pay as much attention
• 50:35
  to the news as Americans do like that, you know?
• 50:39
  I think you're, you know, like you raise a good point of like
• 50:42
  how people like don't want to talk to others, especially if
• 50:45
  they're sensing they're like gonna sell something.
• 50:47
  Like I was in, in Lincoln Rd., the same like the other day and
• 50:51
  there was like a group of kids and, and like they're like
• 50:54
  trying to fundraise. But I'm, you know, I'm like, I
• 50:57
  was like, they were interesting to talk to you, even though
• 51:00
  like, you know, I knew what they were, what they were trying to
• 51:03
  get to at the end of the conversation.
• 51:05
  But you know, they're, they're being, it's their summer job.
• 51:09
  You know, I'm like, and they're coming from, yeah, they're, it's
• 51:12
  their summer job and they're coming from different countries.
• 51:14
  So like 1 was Italian, one was from Italy, one was from Cuba.
• 51:18
  And and I'm like, what does it cost for me to just talk to them
• 51:23
  and get to know them, even though I know they're gonna want
• 51:28
  what their job is? But but I think they did
• 51:30
  appreciate at the end, it's just like somebody just talking to
• 51:34
  them and not just going out. No, I can't.
• 51:37
  I don't have money. I I was, I was driving.
• 51:40
  Do you are you familiar with Hollywood at all?
• 51:43
  Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, so I was driving down route
• 51:46
  7 towards the Hard Rock, right? I, I go to synagogue near there
• 51:51
  and, and on my way down I got, I got stuck by the light.
• 51:54
  There's a big intersection with three lanes right before you
• 51:57
  cross to the Hard Rock off 7. And, and, you know, there's
• 52:01
  always people there that are asking for money or asking for
• 52:03
  help. And, and I, I stopped at the
• 52:06
  light. My window was down because
• 52:07
  there's like a month ago and the weather was really nice and I
• 52:10
  didn't want to roll up my window.
• 52:11
  There's a woman there that was asking for, you know, asking for
• 52:13
  some help. And I didn't want to roll out my
• 52:15
  window and pretend I didn't see her.
• 52:16
  And, you know, be like that, you know, so I kind of just like
• 52:19
  looked at her and I smiled and I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't
• 52:20
  have anything but like, have, you know, like, good luck, have
• 52:23
  a great day. That's all I said to her.
• 52:24
  And she was and she just kept on, you know, she's like, thank
• 52:27
  you. She walked about, you know, up
• 52:28
  and down to, you know, pass other cars.
• 52:30
  And she came back to me and she was like, I just want you to
• 52:32
  know that's all I really like, want like it's just for like a
• 52:36
  positive. Like she said that just like,
• 52:37
  just you saying like good luck, have a great day.
• 52:40
  And I'm sorry. Like I wish I could help out and
• 52:41
  have anything. Just you telling me that made my
• 52:43
  day. So I just mean so much.
• 52:45
  Thank you. Like she told me that.
• 52:47
  And I was like, it's insane that we don't do that on a regular
• 52:50
  basis because it costs nothing. I felt great, She felt great.
• 52:54
  And everyone felt like closer together, like, you know, like I
• 52:57
  thought it was really, I think we need a lot more of that.
• 53:00
  You're right. There was, I like I read
• 53:02
  something on that where like there was an article about like
• 53:05
  this person who had gone through homelessness.
• 53:07
  He came out of it, but he had said like they don't, they just
• 53:11
  want conversation. They want someone to like ask
• 53:13
  them what their name is and like talk to them or just because
• 53:16
  they're by themselves, just even have a conversation.
• 53:19
  You know, it means so much to them.
• 53:23
  You don't know everybody's story.
• 53:24
  You know, I have seen somebody going like, you know, driving
• 53:29
  too. And they were like selling food.
• 53:31
  But what I had thought of was, like, in Mexico, there's so many
• 53:34
  of those like, you know, selling foods, hustling.
• 53:37
  They hustle, too. That's like a big thing.
• 53:39
  Like they're always selling stuff on in the street.
• 53:43
  Yeah. And I'm like seeing this person,
• 53:44
  he's by himself and I'm like, man, he has.
• 53:47
  He's pretty brave to do this here because it's not so common
• 53:50
  like selling the foods here as I would see in Mexico.
• 53:55
  But it just made me think like, OK, in the different cultures,
• 53:58
  if he were in his country or it'll be normal.
• 54:03
  And but he's like he's doing. I wonder how he feels.
• 54:06
  I wonder how he feels like, you know, being by himself here, you
• 54:09
  know, because, you know, trying to do what you got to do for
• 54:12
  your family. But yeah, it's, it's just like
• 54:15
  how different cultures are. And you just kind of like, you
• 54:18
  wonder how people's lives are in other parts of the world.
• 54:22
  Yeah, Yeah, you really do. I think that a lot of this is
• 54:25
  social media. I really do.
• 54:27
  I think that it's something that I've noticed at least even with
• 54:30
  myself, you know, I mean, I, you know, I'm so much less social
• 54:34
  when I have my or your phone is a safety net.
• 54:37
  You know, your phone, it gives you something to do with your
• 54:39
  hands. It gives you something to look
• 54:40
  at if you're standing in line next to someone and you run out
• 54:42
  of conversation to say it's a safety net.
• 54:44
  And so, but like everything else, like creativity and like
• 54:48
  writing and like, you know, everything, it's a muscle being
• 54:51
  being social as a muscle. Talking is a muscle is a muscle,
• 54:53
  you know. And so if we're not actively
• 54:56
  working on it and we have almost like an easy way out and we
• 54:59
  have, you know, these bumpers, you know, like when you go
• 55:02
  bowling, you have this easy way to kind of like save you out of
• 55:04
  a conversation or out of feeling awkward for a minute, then you
• 55:08
  go ahead and do that. But then you know, it comes at
• 55:10
  the expense of exercising that of exercising that, that, that,
• 55:15
  that that skill set that you need.
• 55:18
  So Mexico. So, so Mexico overall, you happy
• 55:21
  you did it for your kid, you happy you happy to be in South
• 55:24
  Florida? I am, yeah.
• 55:27
  It's, it's kind of nice to kind of like be in a place where you
• 55:32
  can relax a bit. It was a little bit like high
• 55:34
  edge in Mexico. Like, you know, I was always
• 55:37
  kind of like looking over at my shoulders, like wondering if
• 55:39
  like the cops are going to stop us because we had, we had
• 55:42
  American plates, you know, and so like, it's just like a red
• 55:46
  flag. Yeah, it was a red flag.
• 55:49
  I mean, all they would, they would stop us all the time
• 55:52
  because our plates were like American plates.
• 55:54
  And then they stop you and they kind of like, you know, they,
• 55:57
  they want, they want to bribe you.
• 56:00
  And, you know, it's very corrupt.
• 56:01
  The cops are corrupt. So like, I would get like, I
• 56:05
  would be scared driving all the time.
• 56:06
  Like, you know, you would come home from, you know, driving
• 56:09
  home from a game, a soccer game, and then like the cops pull you
• 56:14
  over. You're like, oh, goodness, I
• 56:15
  don't have to deal with this. Like now I gotta do you have
• 56:18
  money to pay this cop off so you can leave us alone.
• 56:22
  So it was a little bit. Yeah, it is, it is a little bit
• 56:25
  like it's it's it's scary. And that and that respect is,
• 56:30
  you know, maybe if I would have had like next full of Mexican
• 56:33
  car, but the Mexican plates, you know, we wouldn't be such a
• 56:36
  target. You're.
• 56:38
  Saying being American just means probably you have money and
• 56:41
  probably you're going to, you're probably going to be able to, to
• 56:43
  buy them off. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
• 56:48
  So yeah. So if I were to go back, you
• 56:51
  know, like we would definitely fully like try not to be, you
• 56:56
  know, said stand out. Yeah, American like have like
• 56:59
  fully have like a Mexican car so that we wouldn't be pulled over
• 57:04
  or whatever. But yeah, so like here's like
• 57:06
  now saying that you don't get pulled over in the United States
• 57:09
  because you do. They can pull you over for
• 57:10
  whatever they want. But yeah, but it I think it's
• 57:13
  just like I it's scarier over there because they can literally
• 57:18
  say we want your car, you know, like get out, we're taking your
• 57:21
  car. And you just like, laughed and
• 57:24
  like, OK, here's my car. Crazy.
• 57:27
  It's really, really crazy. It's really crazy.
• 57:30
  I want to talk a little bit about parenting because you have
• 57:34
  4 kids, which is probably more than I think most people at this
• 57:38
  point of the country have. I feel like, I feel like people
• 57:41
  like. Yeah.
• 57:43
  In today's world, the emphasis is very, very much, you know,
• 57:47
  not on having family and family is almost looked at as like a
• 57:50
  hindrance for, you know, for yourself.
• 57:55
  And I do think I was actually thinking you were telling me
• 57:58
  earlier about, you know, that the the all your favorite author
• 58:00
  that said, like, oh, if you want to be a great writer, don't have
• 58:02
  kids, which is, I think a sad thing to kind of try to spread
• 58:07
  to other people. But I think that, you know, one
• 58:11
  thing, one thing I, one thing I was teaching, I last year, I
• 58:13
  taught my 10th graders about just great creators and great
• 58:18
  innovators. And we're like learn about the
• 58:20
  people and all of them are like broken in some significant way,
• 58:24
  you know, like they're, they have some serious, serious
• 58:26
  issues, whether it's Steve Jobs, whether it's Elon, whether it,
• 58:29
  you know, every, any, any, any crazy successful person.
• 58:33
  Is it crazy person as well? You know, and that's part of the
• 58:36
  reason why they're able to do it.
• 58:38
  And so I feel like in order to like truly be great about
• 58:41
  something that comes at some kind of enormous detrimental
• 58:45
  personal life sacrifice and loss that you know, that like you
• 58:50
  almost give up your life for the sake of this endeavor that
• 58:53
  you're that you're creating. But I don't and and I actually,
• 58:59
  so, but I think that we, I think, I think that, you know,
• 59:06
  and I think that's having a family scary for a lot of
• 59:08
  people. I think that the responsibility,
• 59:10
  you know, thinking about the responsibility and thinking, you
• 59:12
  know, even hearing you talk about like, oh, I'm trying to
• 59:15
  write and then my kids are saying you're hungry, you know,
• 59:17
  like, you know, like you're like, I don't want that.
• 59:19
  But I don't think they realize that how much of A labor of love
• 59:22
  it is and like how how amazing parenting is.
• 59:25
  So what, what's in your experience?
• 59:26
  So how, how old, you know, I guess the general range of the
• 59:30
  age of your kids and what's it been like parenting boys versus
• 59:32
  girls and taking them around and all these kind of, you know,
• 59:36
  what's parenting been like so far?
• 59:39
  I have, so I have a 14 and a 15 year old and then I have basic a
• 59:46
  three-year old and a five year old.
• 59:48
  Nice. So like amazing.
• 59:51
  Yeah, they're like 10 years apart.
• 59:53
  And I think, you know, there, there are times where I'm like,
• 59:59
  you know, you're writing, you're like, Oh my goodness, you know,
• 1:00:02
  I don't want the distraction. And you don't have the luxury to
• 1:00:04
  kind of just be all, you know, there's writers that can, you
• 1:00:08
  know, they don't have kids and they're very productive.
• 1:00:11
  But you know, there's writers who who do do it and you kind of
• 1:00:15
  use it. You know, you use your
• 1:00:17
  creativity. You're inspired by like everyday
• 1:00:20
  life, you know, like being a mom.
• 1:00:22
  You know, I would be able to write characters that you don't
• 1:00:25
  have a lot of kids, you know, because I can type into my
• 1:00:27
  experience. Experience, you know, where
• 1:00:30
  people can relate to. But but yeah, I think like
• 1:00:34
  you're right, there is nowadays people aren't having, they're
• 1:00:38
  having kids later if, if they are, you know, if at all.
• 1:00:42
  And and when they do start later, they're not going to have
• 1:00:46
  like 4 kids. They're probably have like one
• 1:00:48
  or two kids. So they'll have small families.
• 1:00:53
  But for me, I think, I think large families, you're all under
• 1:00:58
  one roof. And it's and it's as a writer, I
• 1:01:00
  think it's very inspiring to see how everybody in the family has
• 1:01:05
  their own talents, has their own dreams.
• 1:01:07
  And you're all trying to like, be under one roof and you're
• 1:01:09
  trying to help each other, you know?
• 1:01:12
  Yeah. Succeed.
• 1:01:13
  You know, like, I have my son who's, you know, a skillful
• 1:01:17
  soccer player. I have my daughter who's, you
• 1:01:19
  know, she's she's talented in art and in singing and in, you
• 1:01:23
  know, the creative arts and, you know, and that's why I put my
• 1:01:28
  daughter. I came here to put my daughter
• 1:01:29
  in like theater camp to say we've been, we've been doing,
• 1:01:34
  you know, a lot of stuff for, for my older son.
• 1:01:36
  Let's try to like, do you? Show her your favorite stuff
• 1:01:39
  like do you share? Do you share what you love with
• 1:01:41
  her? Yeah, for sure.
• 1:01:43
  Like, you know, like I would we'll we'll listen to
• 1:01:46
  soundtracks of like Broadway, you know, musicals and we'll
• 1:01:49
  watch shows like, you know, like back then I, I would like go to
• 1:01:54
  like a mom and pop shop and like have their to have the DVDs of
• 1:01:57
  like the shows on Broadway. And we were like watch cats or
• 1:02:01
  we would watch like into the woods and stuff like that.
• 1:02:04
  You know, so we're connect that way.
• 1:02:07
  But yeah, you try to find, you know, connect with all your
• 1:02:10
  children and their talents and and do your best.
• 1:02:13
  I think being a mom is kind of giving.
• 1:02:16
  And so like it is hard to kind of be creative yourself.
• 1:02:20
  But I think creativity can be tapped into if you if you can do
• 1:02:25
  things that refuel you. Like, if you feel like, you
• 1:02:28
  know, you're exhausted, like you said, you listen to music or I
• 1:02:31
  might need to, like, exercise and like, you know, you know,
• 1:02:36
  kind of get my energy up that way.
• 1:02:38
  Yeah. I get myself moving like I need,
• 1:02:40
  OK. I need to do, like, a work.
• 1:02:42
  I need to go work out, you know, and then, and you have to be in
• 1:02:47
  a community for me of other writers.
• 1:02:49
  You can't just be by yourself. It's easy to, like, be a mom and
• 1:02:52
  just be, like, in my own world with my kids and not get out.
• 1:02:56
  I consciously have to make an effort to join like other
• 1:03:00
  writing communities to find them online to like log into a Zoom
• 1:03:05
  meeting, a webinar, like, you know, the library is doing a
• 1:03:08
  webinar on novel writing and plot writing, You know, let me
• 1:03:11
  register, let me watch this. And, and, and with COVID, it has
• 1:03:17
  helped where you don't have to, you know, physically going and
• 1:03:19
  you can like join a webinar And then like if you miss it, which
• 1:03:23
  I have sometimes I can like, you know, go back and watch it when,
• 1:03:27
  when I have the time, I'll watch the links to the webinars.
• 1:03:30
  But you do have to consciously make an effort to join or other
• 1:03:34
  writing communities as a writing.
• 1:03:36
  I mean, that's my advice, managing a family and making the
• 1:03:41
  time for, for you know, your passion.
• 1:03:44
  Yeah, I think it's also cool that I think it's cool how much
• 1:03:49
  your perspective and way of thinking changes as you have
• 1:03:52
  kids, you know? And like, you know, I was
• 1:03:55
  talking to my friend about this yesterday because you were
• 1:03:58
  hanging out. I hadn't seen him a couple of
• 1:03:59
  weeks. We're very good.
• 1:04:00
  We're very close. He lives just down the block
• 1:04:01
  from me. And like, we'll do things like,
• 1:04:03
  and by the way, and I think more people need to do things like
• 1:04:06
  this. Like I'll text him.
• 1:04:07
  Like, dude, I'm going to Publix. You want to come?
• 1:04:08
  You want to come along? Do you need any groceries?
• 1:04:10
  You want to, you know, you want to pick up?
• 1:04:11
  And like, we'll just go together, the supermarket, just
• 1:04:13
  hang out for 20 minutes and then go back home and go back to our
• 1:04:15
  families and like continue our lives.
• 1:04:18
  But one thing, you know, we're talking about, I said, I left my
• 1:04:21
  family for, you know, a week and a half.
• 1:04:23
  And it was the longest I'd left them before.
• 1:04:25
  And it was, I was so sad about them.
• 1:04:27
  And one thing I was telling, it was like, I don't even think in
• 1:04:31
  the same way. Like I think in terms, I think
• 1:04:33
  as a we, I don't think as an I. And you know, when you think as
• 1:04:36
  a we, you kind of have like a expanded sense of consciousness
• 1:04:39
  that really is like, I think that's what I would call it like
• 1:04:42
  almost adulthood. I think that that's like, you
• 1:04:44
  know, when people say that America has what's called
• 1:04:47
  delayed adolescence, that we're like, we're kids for two or
• 1:04:51
  three. You know, the average person
• 1:04:52
  doesn't think consider themselves an adult till their
• 1:04:54
  30s now. You know, like, you know, like,
• 1:04:57
  I think that that just means that people are kind of stuck in
• 1:05:00
  an eye mentality as opposed to a we mentality.
• 1:05:03
  And I think once you kind of switch to a we and you think in
• 1:05:05
  terms of, you know, like I'm in Costco, you know, and I pass by
• 1:05:10
  my kids favorite snack, I'm not going to not get it.
• 1:05:12
  Like, you know, I mean like that I'm not going to get my own
• 1:05:15
  thing, you know, at the expense of my kids things.
• 1:05:17
  I think as a we, I think this makes me happy and that makes me
• 1:05:20
  happy, you know, so I think that the, you know, the, I don't
• 1:05:24
  think there's enough emphasis on like the beauty of the new
• 1:05:27
  perspective that people get. You literally evolve.
• 1:05:30
  I think you evolve as a as a human being.
• 1:05:33
  You do it is a self sacrificing and it is, it's greater than
• 1:05:37
  you. It's created, like you said,
• 1:05:39
  it's not just me or awareness of makes you compassionate to the
• 1:05:43
  needs of other people, a better person overall.
• 1:05:46
  You know, it's it's and it's very like scary.
• 1:05:53
  So you're always worrying about your kids, even like when they
• 1:05:56
  become, you know, when they're older, you're like, you know,
• 1:05:58
  like it's a job that never ends, but you know, it's, it's, it
• 1:06:05
  helps you grow spiritually. And I mean all the way around
• 1:06:08
  some. Do your are your kids mama's
• 1:06:11
  boys or or dad or daddy's or daddy's boys or girls?
• 1:06:14
  What about do you have like a different dynamics in terms of
• 1:06:17
  your kids and your relationship with your with your husband?
• 1:06:21
  I would say like my oldest, my, my oldest son, he's definitely
• 1:06:28
  going to be like a daddy's boy because my, my husband has been,
• 1:06:32
  I mean, talk about sacrifice. My husband does, has done
• 1:06:36
  everything to help to put my son in the best place for his soccer
• 1:06:39
  career. Like he lives with him in the
• 1:06:41
  Netherlands. Just both of them, you know,
• 1:06:44
  crazy. By the way, it's such a big
• 1:06:46
  yeah, such a. Big I don't think people I, I,
• 1:06:47
  I, I think, I don't think that you you say casually it's, it's
• 1:06:51
  such a huge deal. It is you know, it would be both
• 1:06:56
  of them and and you know, they face some harsh winters and he
• 1:07:00
  would take and you know he would take the, the the train and
• 1:07:04
  their train transportation system is great.
• 1:07:06
  But you know, they would it was cold outside.
• 1:07:08
  You still don't want to. He would like take them to
• 1:07:10
  training across town and just do so much.
• 1:07:16
  He's done so much even now, like Mexico being here, being even
• 1:07:20
  though we're all together. I think Mexico was harder for
• 1:07:23
  him because the language barrier in in Amsterdam or in the
• 1:07:28
  Netherlands at least they speak, you know, they speak English a
• 1:07:31
  lot, yeah. Everyone speaks.
• 1:07:33
  English then? Yeah, exactly.
• 1:07:35
  But in Mexico, you know, like my husband will like call me on
• 1:07:39
  speakerphone. He's like, you know, he's just
• 1:07:41
  in, he's in, what is it, Dairy Queen?
• 1:07:44
  And he wants to order a Blizzard.
• 1:07:45
  And there's a communication problem.
• 1:07:47
  And I'm like trying to communicate to the lady, you
• 1:07:50
  know, what my husband wants and like, it's so bad.
• 1:07:53
  I'm like, he just like she's just have to go get a ice cream
• 1:07:57
  and he can't because something, you know, like there's a
• 1:07:59
  translation problem or whatever. But but it has been harder.
• 1:08:05
  Sacrifices. Yeah, it.
• 1:08:07
  It has, Yeah. But yeah, it's not, it's not
• 1:08:12
  especially if you're really going to, you know, put your
• 1:08:15
  kids as far as, you know, putting them supporting their
• 1:08:18
  dreams. You know, it's easy when it's a
• 1:08:21
  comfortable dream. But it like soccer has to be,
• 1:08:25
  you know, it can't, it's not really done here in the United
• 1:08:28
  States. It's has to be global because
• 1:08:31
  the soccer scene is better inside of the United States.
• 1:08:34
  So. And there's a lot of families
• 1:08:36
  doing this, like my husband, he's not the only one.
• 1:08:39
  Like, you know, he has a friend that you know, their family is
• 1:08:42
  like, you know, in Brazil trying to like, and then another one is
• 1:08:46
  like trying to move to Spain. A lot of like American families
• 1:08:49
  that who have kids who are like trying to do soccer are are
• 1:08:54
  sacrificing. It's like this underground world
• 1:08:57
  like that he knows about. But there's a lot of them that
• 1:09:00
  they're like trying to find a way and a path to have their
• 1:09:05
  kids, you know, being in professional clubs abroad.
• 1:09:09
  And it's it's not an easy route because they're really, you
• 1:09:13
  can't really make a soccer career here in the United
• 1:09:15
  States. You have to kind of get out.
• 1:09:19
  And it's a lot of sacrifice. Yeah, it's really incredible
• 1:09:22
  that he did that. I I hope your son, I hope your
• 1:09:24
  son, you know, I mean, I'm sure he will.
• 1:09:27
  I hope your son one day appreciates it.
• 1:09:28
  You know, like the I was, I was super emotional the day before I
• 1:09:33
  got married. I was, I was almost 26 and I've
• 1:09:36
  been, you know, and I and, and I guess in the Jewish world or in
• 1:09:41
  the Orthodox Jewish world, it's very common to get married in
• 1:09:43
  your early 20s and like 2627 is already considered quote UN
• 1:09:48
  quote later for a lot of people. And, you know, and so, you know,
• 1:09:51
  I was, but, you know, and it's this big, you know, huge moment
• 1:09:54
  that I'm terrified of. And you know, I've no, you know,
• 1:09:56
  I mean, I, I have friends already by the age of 26 that,
• 1:10:01
  you know, had already been married and gone divorced at
• 1:10:03
  that point. You know, like I, I know how
• 1:10:06
  challenging, you know, marriage was, is going to be.
• 1:10:09
  And I was, I was terrified leading up to it, but I was also
• 1:10:12
  so excited about it. And one thing I just kept on
• 1:10:14
  thinking about leading up to it was just like I was thinking
• 1:10:18
  about everything, my dad, you know, everything I put both my
• 1:10:20
  parents did. But you know, my dad, my, you
• 1:10:22
  know, my mom was, was home and raising us and incredible.
• 1:10:27
  Like the, the, the, I'm one of six.
• 1:10:29
  And like the amount of work that it takes to, to do that is
• 1:10:33
  almost indescribable. But you know, for him, like he
• 1:10:36
  never, he only wanted all of us to just do whatever made us
• 1:10:40
  happy, you know, and that's all like, and, and whatever that
• 1:10:43
  was, like he would just work as hard as he could to make, to
• 1:10:45
  make that happen. And I didn't appreciate it until
• 1:10:49
  I was about to go off my own and be my own person that I was
• 1:10:53
  like, I don't even know, you know, like I'm afraid to do this
• 1:10:56
  for one person. I can't imagine that he did this
• 1:10:58
  for seven people for the last 30 years, you know, like I, I can't
• 1:11:02
  even imagine that. And I was just swept up with
• 1:11:04
  such a sense of gratitude and appreciation that, you know, I
• 1:11:07
  hope that I hope that, you know, your kids are going to have, you
• 1:11:09
  know, when they, you're at least your son's going to have when,
• 1:11:12
  when, you know, if I hope, I hope he gets a real, you know,
• 1:11:15
  amazing career that he'll know that everything that you guys
• 1:11:18
  put on the line for him to be able to do that, you know, and
• 1:11:21
  it's really one of the most beautiful things that a that a
• 1:11:24
  parent could do. Yeah, like I gave him like the
• 1:11:27
  Father's Day card and I'm like, here, write a little note to
• 1:11:30
  your dad. And it was short, but it was
• 1:11:32
  like short and sweet. You know, he was like, thank you
• 1:11:35
  for, you know, being there every step of my soccer career.
• 1:11:38
  And it's true. Like my my husband has been by
• 1:11:41
  his side. He, he, you know, goes to all
• 1:11:44
  his games, goes to his tournaments and, and is there
• 1:11:49
  for him across, you know, across the world.
• 1:11:52
  You know, wherever he goes, he's he's there.
• 1:11:55
  Yeah, yeah. What was it?
• 1:11:56
  What was it like going have, I mean, the five year gap between
• 1:12:01
  your kids, I guess between the, you know, was it hard getting
• 1:12:04
  back to to having a newborn again?
• 1:12:07
  Yeah. Having a 5 year old.
• 1:12:10
  Yeah, because you have to like start over and then like you
• 1:12:13
  forget and then a lot of there's so many new products.
• 1:12:17
  Yeah. And then there's a like, like,
• 1:12:18
  wait, what happened with this? OK, this is new.
• 1:12:20
  This is like, you know, 'cause the market for baby stuff is
• 1:12:24
  like always changing too. So there's like a lot of new
• 1:12:27
  products that I didn't know about that I'm like, oh, cool,
• 1:12:29
  this is new. This is new, but you know what?
• 1:12:34
  And what I really noticed at it, like every time I was pregnant,
• 1:12:37
  I became more creative. Like, Oh yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:41
  It definitely like, inspired me. Like, I would get a kick of
• 1:12:44
  like, writing and stories in my head.
• 1:12:47
  Like, I think it's just you're tapping into like creativity and
• 1:12:51
  as a woman, like, so when I would get pregnant, it was just
• 1:12:55
  like, I would definitely felt like very creative.
• 1:12:59
  It's so cool. I do remember that apparently in
• 1:13:01
  a. Creative state, right?
• 1:13:03
  Yeah, literally, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:13:06
  So, I mean, that's one thing. I I definitely enjoyed my
• 1:13:08
  pregnancies. It wasn't something that I like,
• 1:13:11
  didn't like. So thank God, by the way, I know
• 1:13:13
  some people. That, that, that, that don't
• 1:13:17
  psoriasis and back pain and you know, and, and, and, and and
• 1:13:22
  mood swings and, and all that. But even just like the, you
• 1:13:26
  know, like we have, you know, we have, I have a 2 year old and I
• 1:13:29
  have a six. I have a six week old.
• 1:13:31
  And, you know, my wife and I yeah, yeah, it's really, it's
• 1:13:34
  really awesome. And my, and it's funny because
• 1:13:37
  even just the difference between two and two years old and six
• 1:13:40
  weeks, you know, my wife, like we went, we went, we went to my,
• 1:13:43
  we went to visit my family in New York.
• 1:13:45
  And my wife is like, I completely forgot how to pack
• 1:13:47
  for a baby. And like the last year, like I
• 1:13:49
  totally forgot about what, you know, how many diapers it takes
• 1:13:52
  and like, you know, what her schedule is and you have to
• 1:13:55
  bring the, the stuff for bottles on the airplane and all, and all
• 1:13:58
  this stuff. And like we forgot about that.
• 1:14:00
  Like it was a phase of our lives.
• 1:14:01
  And then like you forget about after six months.
• 1:14:03
  And I think it's part of the human psychology too, that like
• 1:14:06
  we, we forget all the, you know, the challenges that happened and
• 1:14:11
  you remember the good stuff, that you remember how delicious
• 1:14:13
  they were. And like.
• 1:14:14
  You know, a cooing little baby just making eye contact and
• 1:14:17
  smiling, you know? Yeah, I think that one I
• 1:14:21
  remember like one comment somebody told me I think when I
• 1:14:24
  was like had had the kids and he was like he said something like
• 1:14:30
  I think it was like the days are the days are long and the years
• 1:14:35
  are short, you know, in parenting.
• 1:14:38
  Yes, yes, you find that. True.
• 1:14:40
  Yeah. So in the moment it's like what
• 1:14:42
  times wise, you know? Yeah, time does fly.
• 1:14:46
  Time does fly. I can't believe that that that's
• 1:14:49
  been two. It's been 2 years since since my
• 1:14:50
  son was born and it feels like it's been 5 minutes, you know?
• 1:14:53
  And I look at him and I'm like, you weren't able to like pick
• 1:14:57
  your head up and now you're running around, you know, like
• 1:14:59
  he this past weekend I was with my I was with my sister and she
• 1:15:04
  has a daughter the same age. And he was taking a nap and she
• 1:15:07
  was up and she and and he woke up and she and he and she hurt
• 1:15:11
  him in his bed. She's like Shua.
• 1:15:13
  And he was like, what? And he was like, come, come
• 1:15:16
  play. He's like, OK.
• 1:15:18
  And he just hopped out of his pack and play, which he never
• 1:15:20
  did before, you know, And he just like crawled out of it and
• 1:15:22
  then opened the door and walked out.
• 1:15:23
  And I was like, dude, what? I never saw you do any of that
• 1:15:26
  before, you know, but those are, and again, as moment as as
• 1:15:32
  moments for a human being that's incredibly fulfilling, That's
• 1:15:36
  incredibly beautiful. Like these are things that like,
• 1:15:39
  they just like kind of overwhelm you with a sense of like love
• 1:15:43
  and like, whoa, I'm this is I even know that I'd be proud of
• 1:15:48
  something for doing someone for doing something so silly and so
• 1:15:50
  trivial, but like it's so special.
• 1:15:53
  Mm hmm. Yeah.
• 1:15:56
  But anyway, Jen, I want to thank you so much for your time.
• 1:16:00
  Thank you so much for doing this.
• 1:16:01
  This is so much fun. I wish you tons of luck with
• 1:16:05
  publishing. Maybe we'll do this again as
• 1:16:07
  you, as you, as you, as your new career takes off and as you get
• 1:16:10
  into the world of publishing, because I do.
• 1:16:12
  I am interested and fascinated in that world.
• 1:16:14
  And, you know, I'd love to hear as you get into it, what's going
• 1:16:17
  on with it. But until then, I wish you tons
• 1:16:21
  of luck. This is so much fun talking to
• 1:16:23
  you and, and hearing about your experiences and hearing about
• 1:16:26
  your, you know, the whole process, writing and teaching
• 1:16:28
  and, and your whole journey. And I think this is, I think
• 1:16:33
  this is awesome. And I think that I hope this
• 1:16:35
  will, you know, really be inspirational to a lot of
• 1:16:38
  people. I think they got really awesome
• 1:16:39
  values and have a really great story.
• 1:16:41
  So I really thank you. Thank you so much for your time.
• 1:16:45
  Thanks. Awesome.
• 1:16:46
  OK, Thanks so much for doing this.
• 1:16:47
  We'll be in touch. OK, Have a great rest of the
• 1:16:49
  day. Thank you too.
• 1:16:51
  Bye. Bye.