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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Dangerous Pursuit of Spiritual Credit 3.10.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Page 448 about and he's pushing good morning brother.
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  It's good to have you gentlemen back.
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  He's pushing this disease, he's expanding, he's bounding this
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  theme, which is how I shame really likes a person much more
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  when he carried himself with humility.
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  And the point was that even if a person is very blessed, you
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  know, the typical perspective is the more I have, the more I
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  believed I should be arrogant. I should feel good about myself.
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  I should consider my fuel to make me feel proud.
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  But in reality, you could look at the exact opposite way, which
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  is the more you're best, the more you have reason to
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  appreciate, the more I have reason to recognize, the more
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  you have reason to realize, hey, I don't deserve this.
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  I should be in a fully thankful mood.
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  And I actually should make you more humble.
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  Sounds like a surprising concept, but it's real.
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  And then he says sham actually punishes and took away certain
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  things from great people because they took too much credit for
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  their success. All right.
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  And I'll give you the way I'm excited and you'll see the way
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  you look at it. So you paid 448.
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  Quadrino has deemed doing. We have seen some great people.
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  Shenenshu who were punished, Alshe eziku Tovalla.
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  That's mom in call Hasidutam because they took credit for all
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  their righteousness. They didn't take credit for
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  being a wealthy person of it being a powerful person.
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  They took credit for being a Sadiq and even that God did not
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  appreciate. For example, in the Hemia
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  Benhaklia, a certain prophet in the Hemia Rabbi Salas the came
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  out the same Dean says his book was not reading according to his
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  name. I guess the book of Prophet, one
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  of his prophets is not reading according to his name and they
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  share Zeke Tuval lots more because he credited himself for
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  his own achievements. One of our kings, a great king
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  said Inela Shalom Malimar means say he talked about the fact
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  that the peace that he prayed for.
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  Now we're not really enjoying the peace that he was given the
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  Vishal now workers but hold the guarantee Alair azolo Shia
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  lemani Alamanda VFD When people this man prayed for something
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  and he got answered and he took credit for his getting answered.
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  And today's point is God does not like when a person takes
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  credit for success for success even in areas of becoming a
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  Sadiq, even areas of righteous areas.
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  Hashem does not want you to take credit.
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  Oh, come on, Madam, is the Rabbi Salas quad to live besuite that
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  small? Anyone who says I'm succeeding,
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  you know why? You know you know why I I'm
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  blessed with these chosen. The person says it's because I
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  do a lot of good. If you guys, I pray you
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  shouldn't say that. What do you mean?
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  Oh, we have. We live in a society where
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  everyone's always praising everybody good.
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  And you have all these gala events and this and that.
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  That's that's. And the name we are, yeah, we
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  are a name of charity. We're actually tiptoeing on a
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  very dangerous thing. You're right.
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  Let's be a little more and we'll get to that.
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  Toileen Lobesz Who talking name I call out to lab is who that
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  small anyone who takes credit right and his prayer is not
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  going to be fulfilled. His prayers are not going to be
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  accepted because of his own credit.
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  They're rather only going to be accepted if he has other
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  people's not his own. A person should not take credit
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  for his own actions the 'cause she can and all the more so she
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  lawyed not say he should not elevate himself in his mind the
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  and become arrogant because of them.
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  Taking credit is a dangerous thing.
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  The Gamal tells you that one of the reasons people's prayers are
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  not answered is because when they pray, they believe that
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  they deserve to be answered. Even prayer, which is a
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  spiritual thing done by a good person, should not be said in a
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  way that the person thinks, oh, I prayed and therefore I'm going
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  to get answered. I deserve to be answered.
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  I did enough. I have my background, I have my
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  good deeds along with my tefila. That'll get it done.
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  No, you pray, but at the same time, in your mind you're
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  thinking I don't deserve to be answered.
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  That's how far it goes. Now, why is taking credit
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  something that Hashem doesn't like?
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  We're not talking about someone taking credit for their wealth.
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  We're not talking about someone taking credit for their fame.
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  We're talking about an individual taking credit for his
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  spiritual success. If I say, you know, I put my
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  hard work in, I learned to message it and I finished.
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  I feel great. That's that's not a good sound.
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  That's not something else someone wants to hear.
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  Why not? I put in the effort.
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  I lent it. I accomplish, I finish.
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  What's wrong with that picture? We're talking about a spiritual
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  thing and spiritual effort. Why shouldn't I feel good about
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  myself? And the answer is that there's a
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  level and there are shades of arrogance in that picture.
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  And there's a lack of an understanding of really where
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  it's coming from. And that's why a person needs to
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  recognize, do not take credit for your deeds.
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  You and I see this when it comes to the world.
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  If you hear a big person get up, whatever it may be, let's say a
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  sports player, he just won the championship.
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  You've seen both press conferences, one and the guy
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  does the bang in the chest, right?
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  And he says, you know, I went into I did.
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  It's all that training. It's a lot of time in the gym.
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  It's all that effort I put in and therefore I'm here today.
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  Nothing really wrong. You don't hear that guy say it.
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  And he sees the other guy when he hits a home run.
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  What does he do? He points upward, right?
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  He says, you want to thank my Mama, right?
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  That guy you and I love. Why don't we enjoy that second
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  person so much more than we enjoy the first?
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  Because he recognizes where it's coming from.
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  He has a certain degree of humility and a certain degree of
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  recognition. He points upward or he thinks
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  his trainers, he thinks his parents, he thinks his original
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  coaches, right. That person has a level of
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  appreciation as true in sports, it's true in life, and it's even
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  true and accompany a spiritual success.
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  When you succeed in life spiritual, when you learn
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  something you accomplish, when you make assume, when you pray
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  something and it gets answered. You should recognize the fact
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  that it is not my doing and I should chalk it up told others
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  to God, to my teachers, to my parents, to those who came
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  before me to my role models and let them be the driving force
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  and not yourself. He's telling you Hashem does not
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  like we take credit for things, even things that are spiritual
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  why the reason is physical or spiritual credit leads to
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  arrogance. He's no other way around it.
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  Even a guy who finished on my second, if he takes credit for
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  the fact that he worked it and he finished that book, there's
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  an automatic pathway to arrogance that doesn't make a
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  difference what you're doing. You can be as personal to finish
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  shots. If you finish shots and you
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  appreciate, you think that you did it right there straight on
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  the road to arrogance. Whereas if a person credits his
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  teachers, his parents, those who helped him, those who gave him
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  the time, wherever may be, he's holding himself back.
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  I'm going down that road. I think it's a clear
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  understanding. It doesn't make a difference,
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  spiritual or physical. The issue, the outcome is the
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  same until your point baby. Or say it's a character issue,
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  it's a. Little bit of a liberal.
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  View from me. Explain.
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  I feel like like, you know, just.
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  Come into the game and not winning.
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  Any like you know. Like, no, no, we're not saying
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  that. We're not saying don't put in
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  the effort. We're not saying don't try to
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  win. We're not saying you shouldn't,
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  you know, sweat and toil in order for any accomplishment.
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  We're saying is when you do, don't turn it back to yourself
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  and take the credit as they the same exact trackers find us out,
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  correct? The result is not in your hands.
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  As the customer buys or not. Right.
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  We raise 100%. We raise our children on putting
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  in the effort and working at it and everything like that.
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  But at the same time, at the same time, we don't take the
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  credit. Show you push, show you put the
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  effort in, show you accomplish and show you should feel good
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  about yourself. But just avoid that little
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  thing, avoid the credit, avoid that sense that I created.
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  Just avoid that. Feel great about yourself,
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  accomplish, do push development. Has the own event.
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  OK, good. I'll be honest with you.
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  Let's go to the next one that should be your accomplished you
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  get there's a who to do another. One good.
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  SO if you know from our learning over here, I'm a little bit sum
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  light. We I owe our class in the
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  morning about 3 sums. I owe my class my brother from
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  when I volunteer about 3 sums. OK, two or three sums.
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  I'm behind then Sumim. I myself owe myself personally
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  my many Sumim. And the reason I don't do it
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  personally is because I don't like the mode that assume
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  crease. Problem is is that without
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  assume, without that sense of accomplishment, it doesn't push
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  you to go forward. It does.
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  It's really a very, very delicate balance.
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  No sum means a person did not feel good about them.
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  So just appreciate what you're doing.
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  I mean, especially thank I sham of being on your left, but you
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  could appreciate really thought we should have room, but now
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  then very good. It's that balance.
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  It's that towing that line which is you shouldn't be making
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  sumes. You should appreciate and thank
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  our sham for getting to this point and thank your family for
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  giving me the time. Thank you Rabbi, the person you
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  learned with. Be sure to give you the shore.
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  Don't overdo it to the point you shouldn't come a ship.
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  You're opening the door to that arrogant person eventually.
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  Meaning I've I've sat in restaurants with siyums from
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  Syrians to ultra ultra high redeem, right?
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  It's the same item, right, The expensive wine and the thing and
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  the and the steak and the thing and you know, and and then Hazit
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  of a guy who in in the shul and not part of that siyum and he's
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  sitting next to them. That guy leaves the feels like
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  a. Yeah.
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  Well, that patents, you're right.
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  There is something to that point, also called Kinatsovrim
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  is one of the most delicate areas as well.
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  Cannot. So it means we are OK.
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  Literally, it means jealousy of the rabbi's, which means we are
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  OK with a competitive edge existing in the Bama Dash, in
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  the Bama Dash itself, not outside, because it inspires and
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  it pushes. It's a very delicate level, but
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  we're OK with a degree of competitive edge among the Kodal
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  guys, among the boys in the class.
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  Same idea in the shoe. You're OK with this human even
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  though it's going to push or it's going to, you know, maybe
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  make the other people who are not involved in this human feel
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  a bit small. You're somewhat OK with that.
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  But but I'm obviously at the same time we are avoiding
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  arrogance and we are trying to keep away from that sense of my
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  own accomplishment and my own development and I'm the source
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  of it. And because I have it all
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  figured out and I know I work and learn at the same time, when
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  you get down that road, you are running the risk, and I've seen
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  it many times of a degree of arrogance and a degree of self,
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  whatever the word is, believing that you have it all figured
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  out. You want to be in a position and
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  you feel good about what you've done, but you still retain that
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  the credit is not to yourself. Has told your wife, told your
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  children, told your rabbis, told those that came before you, told
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  your parents. Keep it at Bay.
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  And this is delicate balance. And the unique thing, the unique
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  thing about this balance is the fact that we're talking about
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  spiritual areas, and people often think that when you're
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  dealing with misfort and accomplishments in misfort
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  areas, all bets are off. People often believe, sorry, I
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  go take my grandson to school. Good.
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  All right, good. This tool breeds a lot of the
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  stuff we talk about in this. You have to find the good
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  balance. Sure.
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  No. Here's how it goes The.
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  Background or the tweet Daycraft.
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  Here's how it goes here. I'll explain it to you every.
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  Hi Martian, I'll explain it to you.
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  I think every every area of life requires a character reset and
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  character balance. Every area of life.
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  Serenity areas of religion are a little bit of a cover.
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  Saying this as a relative religious person, serenity areas
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  of religion are a cover to allow people to do what they want.
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  So for example, a guy who learns it might be a cover for his
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  Arabs or might be his called cover for a sense of feeling
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  like he's worth more than he's worth.
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  What he has to do is like any other area, certain people out
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  there claim to be Sadiqim because they're very righteous
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  and the way they carry themselves and you and I know
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  they're the opposite of a Sadiq areas of religious.
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  Like anything else, if you have a cover area and allows you to
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  be whatever you want and make it seem like, hey, I'm Mr.
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  Righteous and I'm good to go. The same thing is true with
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  being a learner or a prayer or whatever accomplishment you have
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  or a generous person. They do run the risk of of, of
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  this danger. In all these scenarios, the
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  person has to tell themselves, don't take the credit, don't
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  take the credit, don't accept the accomplishment.
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  Don't think it's you. Don't stop and smell the roses.
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  Don't listen to what they say about you.
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  Don't read the news clips. Don't allow it to reflect
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  yourself because then you're running the risk of destroying
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  your character. Instead, do, do, do, continue to
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  do, continue to accomplish. Yeah, show up in your name on
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  buildings because you have to for your family's sake.
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  But continue to do and do and do and keep pushing.
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  Never stop to reflect because there's a danger in reflecting
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  the same concept you said about. Assume the same concept you
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  could say with any accomplishment.
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  If you reflect and you allow it for you to take credit for your
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  family, there's a danger involved.
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  You would take credit for your accomplishments.
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  There's a risk involved. He's talking about great people,
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  great people, our prophets and our kings, the good ones and
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  still God did not want them to take credit because when you
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  take credit, you're running a great risk.
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  Like I say, the same way you and I recognize when the person
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  accomplished in any area, the ball player, politician, the
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  very successful businessman, he gets off of that speech and a
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  college graduation and he gives that speech.
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  The ones that become the the classic clips are the ones when
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  the guy is humble, when the guy attains his success to other
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  people. The ones that become just
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  another speech are the ones when the guy gives you that hint that
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  he has it all figured out. You're not interested in him
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  because you and I know it doesn't help me and I definitely
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  do not want to follow that person.
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  I don't even want to hear him talk.
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  I don't want to hear a guy get up there and tell you how he
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  figured it out. That's arrogance, that's
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  pompous, that's a sketch, that's a person taking too much credit
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  for something that we know was not him anyhow, all right, He
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  probably built his company from some college, you know, some
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  other person with him in college, and it's a big fraud.
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  Instead, you only want to hear from the people who get up there
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  and they thank the others, right?
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  The press conference at post Olympics when the few guys got
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  up there and all they do is thank each other, right?
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  That press conference went viral because they thanked each other
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  or the certain college graduation speeches that come to
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  my mind. Or the guy got up there, he's
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  CEO of a massive company, and all he did was go low key and
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  all he did was tell the children to give charity, whatever it may
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  be. Those people made it big because
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  they did not take the credit. And God sees the world the exact
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  same way, and he even sees the righteous the same way.
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  You're a righteous person. You're a very charitable person.
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  Hashem says how do you display it?
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  Do you display with banging your chest not interested.
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  Do you display it by thanking your parents for the upbringing?
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  That one I like that one I go with.
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  That's how someone said first I have to realize you and I have
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  to realize don't take credit for anything.
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  Do not allow the credit to sink in.
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  And to your point about accomplishments and dinners and
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  honorees on these different things, you're absolutely right.
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  It's a very dangerous way you can.
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  Understand why go ahead and do it they they need that, but we
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  don't really need it, especially if it's already a guy who's
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  let's say I'm just throwing it as an example.
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  Take school, Ydi. OK.
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  And the guy doesn't need it. If anything, if it could only be
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  a detriment to his character. And it's using like the face of
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  face of religion to do it. So right.
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  The guy works so hard. Yeah, now guy gets down.
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  Maybe he has some attitude, maybe with his wife, maybe with
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  his kids, maybe with his partners.
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  It. It's just the gateway.
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  I'm not saying it does for sure, but but at least talking now at
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  the end of the book, I know at the end of the book is is really
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  old. He's the hardest over here, but
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  it's all that is. This is the real stuff.
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  Right, right. You know.
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  What I mean, so because of where it's in the book, it just to me
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  it it's screening out like what are we doing?
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  So you'll see, we'll see even more examples of this concept.
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  And you're right, in our areas of greatness, which means in our
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  areas of Torah, in our schools, the schools in these different
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  areas, in our great people, that way you run the risk of these
• 17:57
  sort of things being torn under the carpet, which means you can
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  have a major event of the major honoree, which basically screams
• 18:05
  spotlight, spotlight, spotlight. It also screams gava, gava,
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  gava. Maybe they're trying to scream
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  money, money, money, money, whatever it may be, right?
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  Well. It gives a donation of $100,000
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  something like that. Right, because they've given big
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  number by an aliyah where maybe you don't have to give up by the
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  aliyah, they could do by the scenes.
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  All these things are delicate areas where only the great
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  people can identify how this can be seemingly a great scene, but
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  it's actually extremely flawed scene.
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  At the same time, institutions need money and certain people
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  also do need to be appreciated and they need to have a sense of
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  accomplishment. Why?
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  In fact, I told someone recently was very involved in the
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  organization. I told them I said don't over
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  Sadiq yourself, which means don't over behind the scenes.
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  What's wrong with that? Behind the scenes is great, I
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  said because you're going to not really get proper recognition
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  and you can hate it. You're not going to feel good
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  about yourself. Hey, you are you put a ton of
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  money into this organization. You put a ton of effort and
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  they're going to talk to you like you talk to the next guy
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  and you are the next guy. You did too much to deserve this
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  and you're not going to feel good about it either.
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  You have to find about it. You have to be real with
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  yourself when it comes to these areas as well.
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  Credit is necessary, assumed is necessary, an accomplishment.
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  Being recognized is important, but don't allow yourself to go
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  over the line and go overboard and let it reflect yourself.
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  This is a balance. It's a very significant balance.
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  The ballplayer shouldn't feel good.
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  He shouldn't jump up and down. He should jump onto the pile.
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  He should feel like he accomplished, but he shouldn't
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  get up by the press conference talk all about himself.
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  The rabbi should feel good about the effort he put in to learn,
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  but he shouldn't get up by the assume and explain.
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  His way of doing things shouldn't do that either, right?
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  The successful businessman should get up there and maybe be
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  honored if the school needs it, the school needs it, or his
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  family needs. It so we need leadership and
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  mentors. You need this balance.
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  Yeah, you do. But when they speak, they speak
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  humbly. Maybe they should be honored and
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  dedicate the entire speech to those who deserve it.
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  So they got both. They have the credit and then
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  they have provided credit to others.
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  Or it can happen internally, let's say you said in a little
• 20:17
  organization, right? So there's all those others that
• 20:19
  run the organization with him, right, But why does it have to
• 20:24
  be like a gala, like Thai events?
• 20:26
  All right, and I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with it.
• 20:28
  I'm just saying it's just very confusing that now take.
• 20:33
  So I understand why a child right, needs to be Oh, right,
• 20:38
  because child right. Then as you become an adult and
• 20:41
  let's say if you're a simple person, I'm A, it's whatever it
• 20:45
  is, I understand because you're looking to, let's say what Haba
• 20:48
  does get you from from point A to point B.
• 20:51
  But now we have an accomplished person who was considered
• 20:55
  community leader, correct? Why are we continuing to treat
• 21:00
  him like a 2 year old? Good.
• 21:01
  So there are many reasons why. Fair question.
• 21:05
  First of all, to your point about like the kid is that I'm
• 21:08
  bomb, which I was told recently I never saw before, and I'm
• 21:13
  bombing produce Mishayot in the back of my circus.
• 21:15
  And Nadine, he writes, the way you get children to learn and to
• 21:20
  grow is give them candies. And then he says when they get
• 21:23
  tired of that, give them toys. When they get tired of that,
• 21:25
  give them designer clothing. And he talks about different
• 21:28
  ages and then they give them gifts.
• 21:29
  And then he says and then promise them that they're going
• 21:32
  to get covered if they learn. And they do, which means he goes
• 21:36
  old and old. And eventually, to your point
• 21:38
  exactly, eventually all that is supposed to drop and the person
• 21:42
  supposed to do it for the regular sake.
• 21:44
  Problem is, the problem is you live in a world, in a community
• 21:48
  where there's a lot of talk, there's a lot of hype, there's a
• 21:52
  lot of big people. And if you're a big deal not
• 21:56
  being treated like a big person, if you're a guy who is
• 21:58
  supporting so many institutions and you're not treated like
• 22:02
  that, then it's hurts. And then you feel small and the
• 22:05
  wife doesn't understand and the family doesn't understand and
• 22:08
  all that stuff happens. And the person therefore finds
• 22:11
  themselves being put, needing to be put on the pedestal, even
• 22:15
  though they're really a simple minded guy and they like someone
• 22:19
  minded because they need, they don't feel it's fair.
• 22:22
  And so and so is getting all that credit while I'm doing all
• 22:25
  the work and I'm doing I'm, I'm doing so much, I'm not getting
• 22:27
  treated that way. That's the risk that we run.
• 22:30
  And that's what happens in our mind.
• 22:32
  You want to be a perfect person or a growing person, try to
• 22:35
  diminish the credit. The problem is people have a
• 22:38
  hard time doing so when they see everyone else getting that
• 22:40
  credit. And we lived in a perfect world.
• 22:42
  We cut it out. But we don't that be my simple
• 22:45
  answer to you. That's a reality.
• 22:46
  You're right. It should only be for the
• 22:48
  children. You know, like my son.
• 22:50
  Give you example. My son was struggling in his
• 22:52
  tests. One of the sons, one of the
• 22:53
  sons. So my wife studied with him like
• 22:55
  crazy. And he came on me as 2 days ago
• 22:58
  with the with the score he never got before.
• 23:01
  I don't know how the rabbi gave his number a crazy high score.
• 23:04
  Thank God. OK, it's first time crazy high
• 23:08
  150 for a test. It's a joke.
• 23:10
  So how do I have again, why is his number?
• 23:14
  So my wife started to call him, but he he's you know, right,
• 23:17
  exactly. He's in 32nd grade, 3rd grade.
• 23:20
  So I have calls him now he has a name for him.
• 23:22
  She calls him 150 and she calls him 150.
• 23:27
  Now I have a machine 150 right now.
• 23:30
  So I said, you know, I just said you're doing that to give him
• 23:33
  Kizuk to make him feel like a big deal.
• 23:35
  He's a 150. When a guy gets up and gives
• 23:38
  $150,000 and we would call that guy 150, we're in big trouble.
• 23:41
  All right, all right. And we make a big deal about
• 23:44
  people to that degree, we're in very big trouble.
• 23:46
  We do it, however, and that's a problem.
• 23:48
  But the reason we have this problem is because we're in a
• 23:51
  world and a community and the people with credit became part
• 23:55
  of the structure and we need to diminish that.
• 23:57
  The problem is, if so and so gets credit, how can I not?
• 24:01
  If no one gets credit, great. But if they get credit and
• 24:04
  they're made into a big deal and I'm doing all the work, doesn't
• 24:06
  feel right. My wife's not happy.
• 24:08
  I'm not happy the whole thing. And that's the issue that we
• 24:10
  face. But he's telling you in this
• 24:13
  book, if you want to retain humility, do not be so dependent
• 24:18
  on credit. Don't expect every time you make
• 24:21
  a match for I want to be talking about you.
• 24:23
  Don't expect every time they give a donation for you to be
• 24:26
  considered the most important person or you build an
• 24:28
  organization. You sit down to learn, you do
• 24:31
  something right. You help a family, you give
• 24:33
  someone advice. Don't expect for all those
• 24:37
  scenarios for you to be thanked and be credited, et cetera.
• 24:41
  You go down that road in your mind.
• 24:42
  You'll always be angry, by the way, and you'll always be very
• 24:45
  arrogant. Instead, in every significant
• 24:49
  moment in your life, you turn and you thank your parents, your
• 24:53
  children, your wife, your friends, your rabbis who was
• 24:57
  involved. You keep talking the credit up
• 24:59
  to them, and you remain the same guy in a beautiful person.
• 25:03
  Stop with this.