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YouTube EP 10 | Dear Treehouse | I'm a FART Terrorist · The Treehouse Show Podcast

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It is time to leave your worries outside. It is
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: time to leave your worries outside and laugh with us
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley along with Raj Sharma
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and our YouTube guru, mister Trey Trendholm Guru. Seems a
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: bit strong, you know what I say? Start strong, Let's
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: see what happens.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, place to go but down.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: That's right. We are in a treehouse after all. So
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: what do you have on tap for us today inside
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the treehouse tray?
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Well, today we're going to do another exciting episode of
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Dear Treehouse. Yeah, so we're gonna start off with a
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: dear treehouse called Am I overreacting about my nanny family
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: having sex during the day?
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: First of all, if you have to ask, you probably are.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to throw that out there with just
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: about every question that uses that similar structure. If you're
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: asking it, you probably are overreacting. You probably are the
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: a hole. It's possible you may not be. I just
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: feel like, statistically speaking, you probably are. Also. What's a
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: nanny family?
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: So basically she is a nanny and it's the family
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: for which she is takes care of their children.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Got it? Okay? Just making sure it wasn't some area
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: of porn hub that I wasn't aware of.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: So it goes like this, Hi everyone, I'm a full
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: time nanny for a stay at home mom with an
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: eight month old baby. The baby is honestly perfect, so
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: sweet and happy. NAP's great. I've been with a family
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: for about seven months now. The mom and dad are
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: both amazing employers. They're super nice to me. The mom
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: even gets me Starbucks and ai E bowls and even
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: makes lunch, and it makes me lunch.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I make thirty two dollars an hour with great benefits
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: in a mCOL medium cost of living area. So overall,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: this is a dream job.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: My only issue is, yeah, that where's the butt?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure the parents are having sex during the
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: dad's lunch break, maybe every day or every other day.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: They they go to the room and I never see
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: anything inappropriate, but sometimes I hear what I think might
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: be the bed moving. It's not loud or anything, just
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: enough to make me realize what's going on afterward. Her
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: hair is messy, clothes changed, that kind of thing. Would
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: it be totally asked out of line to ask them
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: not to do that? While I'm working or am I
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: overreacting and should just let it go?
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Raj, would you like to start or would you like
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: me to start?
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I would say, Overrea, maybe they're trying for another kid.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Maybe they're trying to have another baby so that they're
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: you know, they're doing what they got to do to
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: have another kid, so I would.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: And it's also there they're trying to grow their business,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: which means your uh, your opportunity for employment might be
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: extended if they do, in fact, end up with another
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: kid as a result of these nooners.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean another baby. That's a job security and
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: a raise.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because now you got two of them to look after.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: And mind you again, stay at home mom, so the nanny,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: you know, it's probably not if she's not just by
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: by herself all day.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Well, clearly not, because the stay at home mom is
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: making the nanny lunch and also for the dad.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Probably even probably cuts the crust off, the off the bread. Yeah.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Well, honestly she's got time too. If you're a stay
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: at home mom and you have a full time nanny
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: and it's for one kid, I don't know if you
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: get to say you're a stay at home mom if
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: you have a full time nanny with you. I mean,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: for the definition of the term stay at home mom. Yeah,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you're a mom and you're staying at home, But I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily say that's your occupation if you have a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: full time nanny there as well. It just seems like,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: strictly from an organizational standpoint, from a business, it seems
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: odd to have two managers for one employee. Not one employee,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: but two managers dealing with the one child. It sounds
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: more like the iHeartRadio approach to baby city.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Maybe she has like a home business or works from home,
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: so she could be doing that as well.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, could be, and that would make sense. Yeah, we
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: don't know. There's a little bit of information we don't know.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: We don't know it from what it sounds like, I mean,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the dad could be, you know, working from home as well,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: No idea. They may have a home office and they're
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: both doing homework and then the nanty's taking care of
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: the kittle day. Whatever the situation is. At the core,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: she wants to know is she overreacting because she feels
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: a little uncomfortable because her employers are having sex in
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: their bedroom in their house that she works in.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: And yeah, like great benefits along with thirty two dollars
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: an hour means she's making probably eighty plus.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: That's a good job. Yeah, you know how I know
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: she hasn't had many other jobs because she don't know
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: how good she's got it with this one. You want
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: to go out into the world to see what else
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: is out there. Go for it. Don't quit this job
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: until you do that. We don't see what else is
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: out there before you start, you know, complaining about about
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: your bosses getting it on into the middle of the day.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: And again and not in front of her, not even
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: doing anything remotely. Yeah, they go to their room, which
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess is you know, away from the nannies.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: You just hear maybe the bed creaking a little bit.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Do you not understand how the first kid got here?
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Also, go to a different route if you know this
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: is the routine every day or every other day, oh
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: somewhere else.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm assuming that baby's got a stroller and it
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: can go outside. Just consider that the time that you
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: take the kid to the.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Park or ear muff.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Also that you know, yeah, put your earbuds in and
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: turn up some music and while you're at it, put
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: them on the kid too. Well, you don't have to
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: be fielding any inappropriate questions too soon in that kid's life.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: This is not that big of a deal. I will
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: say this because of the environment. It's it's you're in
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: their home. I think they're allowed to do that in
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: their home. It's not like it's happening in the kitchen
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: while mom is making a sandwich for you, the nanny.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: It's not like Dad is behind mom making it with
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: mom at the same time. So they're they're doing it
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: away from me. They're not doing it in front of you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: They're being respectful of their own privacy and trying not
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: to flaunt it in front of you. Kind of a thing.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So if you take this same exact scenario and you
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: put it in an actual corporate workplace, not appropriate, right,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But in the home it should be okay, right.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Yes, But yeh, it's definitely not appropriate at the workplace.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, just ask Matt Lauer.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Ye if the husband was bending the wife over in
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: the kitchen, I understand she would have grounds for being inappropriate.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: But again, the worst thing she she says is that
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: the wife comes out with some messed up hair and
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: changed clothes. You know, it's not like she's got you know,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: spooge on her face or anything, and that she hears
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: the here's the bed creek. Maybe they're wrestling, Yeah, maybe
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: a good professional pull of fighters.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah you said fighters, right, Okay, But yes, Trey, if
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: if she missed a spot again that I would assume
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that would be accidental and not intentional or you're not
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: trying to make them any uncomfortable type of situation. But yet,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: at the same time, what does she do if if
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: she has like a legitimate HR issue, who do you
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: go to?
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: I guess it would be him because she's the one
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: at home, so she'd have the complaint against the lady,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: So I guess she would have to go to him.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, it doesn't say if she lives with him
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: full time, but yeah, the fact you're making thirty two
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: dollars an hour being a nanny with she says benefits.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming she gets healthcare and something like that. I mean,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: clearly she's young and has not been out in the
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: workplace very much. Because I can assure you she goes
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: somebody else, she's gonna be missing that job really quick.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, a good job. You get a good job like
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: that in this economy, you keep it.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean if she said the kid was an
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: absolute terror, maybe okay, start looking for another job. But again,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: just the kid's great, it take snaps happy.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I want this job.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and you're gonna look at it. And the
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: kid's happy. Mom and dad are happy. This is a
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: very loving household.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is all about perspective. This this this young woman.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming woman has no idea how good she has it.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe she needs to just get some dick.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's the benefits package that she's talking about.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Oh well, that's a way to go. I would love
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: to see if you commented on that. And that's what
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: you said. And as a response to whether or not
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: she was overreacting, you just need.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: All right, well.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yes you're overreacting. Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: So next up on Dear Treehouse titled I farted on
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: my co worker. I'm sorry, I farted on my stupid coworker.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is intentional. Yes.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: So this is written by a girl that's a hostess
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: at a restaurant bar that says it's a three floor
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: restaurant bar. And she said one bartender Mac has the
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: tendency to do what she likes to call maxplaining it
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: will always go on about, you know, the highest paying
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: tables should always be seated in his section, and basically
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: just sounds like I know it all blow hard bartender
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: that wants the hostess to seat what they consider the
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: big money guests with him so he can give them
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: the best service.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: So evidently.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Mac has now pissed this hostess off to the point
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: where at one point he went on a tirade because
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: she said a group of older women in his section
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: and they did not tip well, and so he berated
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: her in front of the rest of the staff. So
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: she said, one shift, I felt a particularly heinous fart
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: brewing and got a sinister idea for context, I'm not
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: a regular farighter.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Yes you are are, Yes you are if you describe
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: it in that manner, and the fact that you know
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: it's a particularly heinous one just brewing. You know the
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: difference between a normal toot and a heinous one just
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: by feeling it in your gut, you're a regular farighter.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: So I'm not a regular fartherer of And it did
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: mean like she's not saying like she does it on
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: a regular basis. See a lifetime of terribly disordered eating
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: habits has rendered my gut to be a few strokes
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: shy of a chemical weapon, and I've instigated several heated
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: arguments on fart politics amongst my friends, all with the
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: power of a single fart.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you mentioned that this was a girl,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: because if you hadn't, I would have assumed it was
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: a guy.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And this terrifies me. That's for a.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Girl to be this self aware of her gut means
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: she is a time bomb.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: She is a fart terrorist. Well, her bowels are an ied,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: so says there.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Mac is sitting behind the bar washing glasses fast as
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: hell during a rush, and I thought, wow, how helpful
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: would I be? I go put them away behind the
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: bar for him while he makes orders for customers. So,
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: for of course, I go to my way behind the
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: bar to help Mac, and right as he's behind me
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: shaking cocktails, I let it rip some of my finest work.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I must add. I realize I'm not supposed to feel
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: bad for Mac in this situation, but knowing everything that
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you've told me about this young woman, I actually do
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: kind of feel bad for him, even though he's a
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: great a jerk because he had no idea how unmatched
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: he was in this tech.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: So I peeked over to Mac to see if he'd
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: been caught in the radius, and sure enough, there he is.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: He's just with his face twisted in sheer disgust.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like the like the beginnings of the
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: VX Boys and Gas in the movie The Rock with
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Nick Cage. It's like like once his face starts to
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: bubble and he spits out his own guts, That's how
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: you know she was there.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: To make matters. There were two pretty girls seated across
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: from him at the bar, seemingly clear of the nuke zone.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: As I was fleeing the scene, I caught Mac drying
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: unsuccessfully to keep his cool in the midst of the
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: stitch while attempting to chat up these girls.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Oh god, see if the girl has a sense of adventure,
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: but the sense of humor would have been to just
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: as she let it go at one point, just go goddamn
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Mac and walk away.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Look, any good terrorists has a patsy.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: The satisfaction of that moment led me to get a
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: little carried away, and I started systematically targeting Mac whenever
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I needed to fart on shift.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: What one time I even made myself a protein pack
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: green smoothie up by the impact after shift where he'd
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: been particularly menacing. When I saw Mac frantically talk to
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: a manager, pointing at the open drain under the bar
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: and checking the fridges for milk spills, I knew I'd
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: gone too far.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: She is a walking biohazard. Oh my god.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, when your parts are so bad, people think there's
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: a sewage backup, there's a problems.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's nothing. When you're behind the bar and
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: you know when one of the drains is backing up,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: it lets out. I mean that sewer smell is foul,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: and when you're ripping them, they're checking for rotten eggs
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: and milk and sewer backups.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: If your poop tube resembles anything remotely close to a
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: commercial grade actual sewage line, I think she should go
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: check out. She needs to see a doctor, She needs
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to go see a all just figure out what's going
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: on there.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: The fact that she knows there's certain foods she can
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: eat and win to get maximum impact, I mean, I
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: don't know whether to be just completely disgusted or a
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: little impressed.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I think you can be both at the same time.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Because I am. I hope that I never cross sabers
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: with her. I like, I'll put it to you this way.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I hope if there's ever any sort of a world
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: conflict again, or the inevitable second Civil War in the
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: United States, I just hope I'm on the side that
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: she's on, because she may turn the tide.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: It's clever, though, I mean, I know I would have
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: never thought to do that, I said to in all
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: of my fifty years, I never thought to, you know
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: what this guy's pissing me off, done, to fart on him.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you have to be careful because if you
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: decide to weaponize your backside, it could backfire because you
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: may try to smoke him out, but then you may
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: end up, you know, letting it loose, letting it lose
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: down your own leg.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Well, bartenders are notorious for doing like walking out from
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: behind the bar and either doing it to a server
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: or customers or whatever. But the fact that it's a
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: hostess doing it to a bartender is really quite funny.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And there's one other aspect that we need to point
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: out here. Girl farts are worse than guy farts. It's
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: just science. I don't know the science behind it, but
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: it's science kind of like kind of like how cat
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: turds are worse than dog turds. There's just a different
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: like level of sour smell to it. So with no
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: tweaking whatsoever, I firmly believe that there's there's the guide too,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and the girl toot is is more severe mhm. She
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: is now adding in recipes to make them even worse.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, I still have nightmares about going into my
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: grandmother's bathroom after she had been using it, and that's
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: a smell I can never get out of my nose.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: And she wasn't she wasn't weaponizing it. That's just you know,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: because she just whatever she ate that day, Yeah, hunt
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: and they were they're pretty bad.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Well, and it's it's just not something. I'm sure Mac
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: has no idea that it's an it's the female like
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure he's probably looking at there's another
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: male bartender or something like that, the last one you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: would expect, the cute female hostess, the cute hostess.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: The person. It's always the person you least expect.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: But you know, I have a feeling there will be
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: one of these down the road of you know, I
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: farted out my boyfriend and he left me.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Oh. Another fine edition of Deer Treehouse. Thank you Trey.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: For all things Treehouse, go to Treehouse on air dot com.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Be sure to listen to the Treehouse Show podcast, available
• 20:53
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• 20:58
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• 21:01
  Speaker 1: here on YouTube. We appreciate it. We'll see you next
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: time right here inside the Treehouse.