Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 203. Dating, Saturn & Self Worth

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203. Dating, Saturn & Self Worth · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Emotional Mastery Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I am your host, rochelle.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a holistic human design health coach and this is a space for human design and spiritual journey.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's not about being a master of your emotions, rather mastering the tools to self-regulate, to awakening yourself and remembering who you are.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Human design changed my life about five years ago and I've been learning and teaching the system ever since.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This podcast is human design meets spirituality, meets astrology.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You don't have to have a belief system to be here, just an open mind and curiosity.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: This is a journey of meeting yourself and awakening to your infinite potential.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Now let the magic begin.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another week on the Emotional Mastery Podcast.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: This week I'm going to be doing a little sort of dating update.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I guess I feel like I've learned so many lessons over the last couple weeks I mean probably more than that, but I feel like it's sort of coming to a head over the last few weeks, couple weeks and sort of dig into that a little bit, and dig into a little bit of the sex part too, because I never really fully did that episode and I want to be clear that in this episode I am not my intention isn't to what's the word I'm looking for.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: My intention isn't to create any sort of drama it's not to be dramatic I guess which sort of is part of who I am with my Leo moon but rather to just express and explain the things that I've been learning about myself, about being in relationship, being in partnership, because I think there's so many things that we hear out there about how relationships should be, how we should show up, how we should respond, how somebody should show up for us, and there's a lot of just different stories.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: And I think, first and foremost, listening to yourself, I just did the body reset just like a little mini group in Instagram, and I'm going to be making this into like a little mini program so you can sort of just purchase and do as you like, as you please, every time you feel like you need a little bit of a reset.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: But it really helped me gain clarity on coming back to myself and trusting my body, because there's this fine line in this really confusing piece to coming from unhealthy relationships and navigating dating and entering new relationships, because we tend to just replay the things that we've been shown, we tend to replay our patterns, we tend to just replay what we know right Our ego.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Our body, our mind is trying to keep us safe, and so we tend to again just replay the things that we know.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: We also know that our emotional experiences tend to be tied to stories and so they become, you know, the mind-gut connection.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Our emotional experiences tend to be attached to stories that we have, and so those come into play.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Our childhood experiences trauma, just like energetics.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: We tend to, you know, opposites attract just energetically, and so there's a lot of different things that come into it.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: And doing this work doesn't always make things easier.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: It can really make things harder sometimes.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: And I think when we can zoom out and really just trust ourselves and take note of what's coming up, how your body feels when you're feeling it, things that consistently come up, because sometimes I'm like I wonder if I'm just going to always be alone, and also I know that that's not true.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I have been single for a long time and also I just feel like I know what I'm looking for and it doesn't have to be.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: There's no such thing as perfection.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I know that there's no such thing as perfection.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: There's no one person that's going to come in and give me and meet every single need that I have.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I know that that's not what it's about.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I think it's about choosing somebody, having feeling safe, friendship, fun, all these things that come into play and again really noticing the themes that continue to come up.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I saw a video or a reel last week that really sort of gave me this aha moment and it said something along the lines of when you come from unhealthy relationships.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: He used the term broken.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I don't like the term broken, but we'll just use it because that's what he said.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: But basically he said, if you are broken, right and I'm just speaking strictly male-female dynamic and you find a man that holds a door open for you, you find a man that is kind, you find a man that creates a safe space or you feel safe with whatever.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: If you come from unhealed relationships, you tend to idolize that and you'll make that person oh my gosh, like your hero or put them on a pedestal or whatever.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: So that person actually doesn't really have to show up beyond those things, right, but those things are bare minimum of how somebody should be showing up for you.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: At the bare minimum, you should be feeling safe, they should be considerate, they should be that, should be considerate, they should be wanting to show up, right.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And then it builds from there, like are they actually?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Are their words aligning with their actions?
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Are they showing up for you?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Are they putting things aside?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Are they making you a priority?
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm not.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I don't think that in a partnership, you should be like number one.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I think it should be yourself, I mean your career, like there are things that are a priority but one.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I think it should be yourself, I mean your career, like there are things that are a priority but you I believe in a partnership and whatever should be some sort of a priority.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So they making you a priority and not just saying that are they showing it Right?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: And I think there's sometimes a disconnect and I, I do it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: And I noticed something about that real.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I was like whoa, I really do do this.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Where it's like oh, this person is safe, this person holds doors for me, this person is you know, whatever.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: But then words and actions are not aligning and I continue to make excuses, I continue to be like well, they're you know, they like me or whatever.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And at the same time, I think, because I'm ignoring myself, I'm ignoring those messages, then the internal chaos tends to come up and bubble up every now and again and because in this specific situation, because I'm not being gaslit, the person listens to me, we have those conversations, but again it's like we'll have the conversations but then no actions align with words, and so it's frustrating because I's like we'll have the conversations but then no actions align with words, and so it's frustrating because I feel like we're going in circles and I'm trying not to bring the ego into it when we have these conversations, because I'm not trying to, again, I'm not trying to just like go in circles around the same thing.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes when that happens, we're just wanting to be heard and we're not actually listening.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I also feel like sometimes I grew up internationally and so I grew up around a lot of different people from a lot of different cultures, which I think is one of the biggest gifts that I have.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: And also I also believe I also believe deep at our core we're all good, and sometimes I don't want to say it gets me into trouble, it has done in the past, but I always see the best in people and I don't want to change anybody.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But I think, because I see the best in people, because I see sides to people that I think are genuine in the moment, but maybe not in the big picture.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I dated somebody for like two and a half years two two and a half years and they didn't want to commit.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: They basically did the bare minimum and I continue to make excuses.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Well, he does like me, or well, maybe one day, maybe it's just the wrong time.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: This and the other thing.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Finally, I was like I can't do this anymore because it was causing me my emotional.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: My system was dysregulated because I was just like constantly felt like I was performing and I was trying to be something so that they would finally then look at me or see me, and that's just not healthy.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: And so I feel like over the last couple weeks, I've been confronted with this part of me that really deeply wants to be in partnership, and then the other part of me that's like Rochelle, you have to see what's in front of you, and there's a lot that I do value a lot.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I think it's like 80% of what I'm looking for, but there's 20% that's not showing up and I feel my perspective is not considerate of the things that I have to go through to's not easy.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit challenging, but I think putting myself and trusting that what I'm looking for is also looking for me and is out there.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: And just because I let this go doesn't mean I'm not going to end up with somebody in a partnership, cause I, because I believe, if it's something that you desire, if it's something you want, for whatever reason, my lesson has been bigger than others.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: There's a part that and this is where it sometimes gets confusing because I think there's a part where am I self-sabotaging?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Am I actually afraid to be in something or have to be vulnerable because somebody can hurt me?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: And I've been through so much All those stories that come up and also trusting myself.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: And I sometimes go between that trusting myself and the confusion of like, am I just self-sabotaging or can I work on this?
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, will they show up, or?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: But if we have this one conversation, maybe they'll show up again, right, and I think it comes down to setting boundaries, understanding your patterns, your attachment style, even just astrology, human design, cause I think sometimes that will in a way because I understand and I see it give me compassion for the other, um, which really isn't serving me in the end.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: And so I have to just take what's there and trust that if it's meant to be.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: If it's meant to be, it will be, and trusting that, and trusting what comes up and what happens and what they show me and that if it is of importance, it will be a priority and I won't have to question it or wonder, and also taking care of myself in the process.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Right, it's two individuals, two independent individuals that come together and you know I there's a lot of messaging too around.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: You know, when you start dating somebody, don't have sex right away, wait six weeks.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And I and I believe if somebody respects you and you have sex immediately, that respect is always going to be there.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: And also, I do see that at the point of like not having sex for six weeks to really see how you feel about it, especially as a woman.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: As a female, we become emotionally attached when we have sex and so it makes it harder for us when we have sex and so it makes it harder for us, it makes it harder for the feminine right To see clearly or to understand what they're feeling with that emotional attachment, and so kind of separating that a little bit and taking space and maybe not having sex for a while to gain clarity is helpful.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I astrology speak for a minute.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: But I have Saturn in Sagittarius in my fifth house.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Saturn is karma, saturn is boundaries, saturn is time, saturn is sort of what we came here to learn, part of our purpose, our mission.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: And Sagittarius is the philosopher, it's the gypsy, it's travel, it's fun, it's movement, it's education.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Sorry, fun is the fifth house, but Sagittarius is, yeah, education, teaching, learning, all these higher mind sort of things.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: And, again, travel, long distance travel.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And then the fifth house is fun play, dating, creativity.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: It's ruled by Leo and the sun, naturally, and so Saturn comes into this area of life, specifically in the fifth house, in Sagittarius, and it's like creating a little bit of a restriction.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: And Saturn is like this way we have multiple Saturn returns.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: But that Saturn return is a point where we're feeling like we're figuring ourselves out, right, and so wisdom comes from Saturn through time.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: And when I was younger, I literally hated dating.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: It was unpredictable.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I also have Uranus there, right.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So there's this want and desire for freedom, for innovation, for just freedom.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I think is a big one, and with Saturn there, that I always, when I was younger, I was like I hate dating, I just I would just enter relationships.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't really date, and so the last.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Again, like the last seven years have been a really big experiment experience with dating, and I feel like it does become easier and I do become wiser, and I do it learning to state my needs, because the way I used to show up is I would see what you wanted and accommodate, and now I'm like that doesn't work at all, like I need to state my needs as well, like this is what I need and this is where I need you to show up, and if that person's willing to meet it or not, that's fine, right, that's on, that's that is the conversation to be had.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: And so I think that's been a practice of identifying my needs, holding to those.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: And then I think, too, like we make lists of what we want to partner, but we also I found it really helpful to make a list of what I bring to the table, like I am valuable, right, I am worthy, I am enough, and I journal those things like every day and I remind myself of that just because I asked somebody that I dated a while ago why it didn't work or why not that not why it didn't work.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I asked them what was the thing that held them back from wanting to pursue things further with me.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Was it something I did, something I didn't do just from a neutral space?
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And the response that they gave me, sort of like in the moment when I read it, gave me sort of like in the moment when I read it because I had texted them.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: In the moment when I read it I was like, oh, I felt that like contraction internally and I was like, but then quickly I was like you know what?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: That's okay If that's the way that they experienced me, that's the way that they experienced me and maybe that's a fraction of who I am, because there is truth to it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: If that's what they saw, there was a part of me that was showing up in that way.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: But that's not the full spectrum of who I am, and that's fine.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's not what they value, but I value that about myself, actually, in hindsight right when I think about it, and I know other people value that about me.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: And so there's also this thing too, with dating and I think, just in general with human nature in our fast paced culture, is this instant gratification right?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: We want it now.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: We want this instant gratification and over the I keep, I continue.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I've noticed I do attract a lot of dismissive attachment theory, attachment styles, and it has taught me a lot of patience.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like I was a pretty patient person before that, but I'm fearful, avoidant, which just means I rotate between anxious and dismissive, but I tend to attract more dismissive people, which then puts me in this anxious space more often, and so I'm in this sort of like chaotic fight or flight like see me, want me, sort of like energy, where I'm like scrambling, and.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: But it's also taught me patience where I'm like okay, these things that I thought that I valued or wanted really aren't as important.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I guess it's taught me to follow my authority, which is emotional, like I need to have time to cycle through things to really understand how I feel about somebody.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: And that's another thing.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: If you have emotional authority, how somebody feels about you and your highs and your lows is really important.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: So if somebody hasn't seen you in a low, just wait, let them see you and see if they're still there for you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: So it's just yeah, it's just been a lot of lessons around self-worth and what's actually my perfected year.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm 38.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: And so if you look at, you can Google it.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Actually, I'll leave a link in the show notes, your perfected chart, and you just look for how old you are and then it'll tell you what house this year is for you.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: And so for me it's the second house which makes so much sense since I've turned 38.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like self-worth money.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: These things are coming up big, these themes are coming up big time.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's just been a lot of lessons around self-worth, value myself, communication, boundaries, and I think those things do support relationships, because I think that we think you know, I think for me, a big lesson is Saturn in the fifth house, like creating structure around creativity actually helps us be creative and I think we think it's the opposite, but it really is supportive of our creativity, it really is supportive of us.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: And so, yeah, that's like the core I feel like of what I've been moving through is just these sort of like little aha moments here and there and just valuing myself and knowing my worth and knowing what I want and just being honest about how I think.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: For me it's a lot of how often words don't align with actions, and that's really important.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: That's really important.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: You can make promises all day but if you're not showing up in the way that you're saying that you're going to show up.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: That is a big red flag, and it's challenging when, again, there is so much to build on, and so it's like is it worth?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I guess the fine line of like can, without wanting to change somebody, I will.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: You cannot change anybody, right?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And so, although there is so much that is worth being built on, I also know that I cannot change anybody.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: So the way that you're showing me right now is the way believe what people say and just trust that what's meant to be will be.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, those are some of the lessons that I've really been learning, and to sort of transition a little bit from that into this little sex part two, in May, I think it was, I did a sex episode and then I had Magda K, who was a Tantra expert, tantra coach, come on and talk about it, and there was like a handful of themes that we didn't really get to in the first episode of the sex episode, and so I sort of so anyway.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: So sex part two things I want to talk about is self pleasure.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: This is a big one.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Sex for yourself.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Sex and self pleasure while you're aging or during aging I don't even like that term.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Sex after motherhood is a big one Sex when you're sensitive, because we're energetically taking on energy from others.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: So, first of all, I think self-pleasure is really important because you're getting familiar with your body.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: This is the big one Getting familiar with your body, what feels good for you, what points do you like?
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: And I think it's not just like getting in and out with yourself, because I think sometimes we can have a long day and we're stressed and we just want to have that release, but it's really like exploring yourself, with yourself, right.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: What feels good, what do you like, what do you enjoy?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Like kind of taking the time, like almost just like making love with yourself, like taking that time to really get familiar with yourself.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of people, a lot of women like with on the episode with Magda K, we talked a lot about about the female orgasm, and I think that there are different types of orgasms and different spots, and.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: But I also think that if you maybe are unable to reach that during sex, there could be an element of maybe a lack of self pleasure, where if you're not familiar with your body in that way, if you're not intimate with your own body, you don't necessarily know what feels good and what points or where, to how to direct somebody.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: And again, like everybody is different, every partner is different.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: So what one person does?
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: You know, everybody has different needs and different desires and different likes, and so really expressing that, like I really like this point or whatever it is, so also I think I mean I just turned 38.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: So, as far as like aging, I think again, I do think just like staying in touch with your body, staying familiar with your body, understanding what feels good, what you like, like sexual experiences, just like taking note of, like, what you really have enjoyed over time and what feels good to you and being able to communicate that I think you know they talk about like dirty thirties and things like that.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And I really do think that it's because we've come to this point where we're more familiar with ourselves, we're a little bit more experienced, we know what we like, we know what feels good and we don't care as much, we're not like as scared to articulate that.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: So I think there's this communication piece that comes in.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: And, just again, knowing what you want, knowing what feels good, what you desire, what turns you on, like whether that's you know.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Again, with the episode with Magda K, we talked about how women need like 40 minutes to be warmed up, and it doesn't necessarily mean 40 minutes in bed or 40 minutes of penetration, but it's like I enjoy getting dressed up for dinner to go out with somebody and like knowing what's happening, right, like knowing that they think I look good or if I wear a dress like just sort of like this little teasing thing, right, that to me, is building that anticipation.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Also, if you look to your astrology chart and see where Venus is, you'll be able to see where maybe you can play a little bit.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Right, I have Venus and Gemini.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: So conversation, intellectual, it's like all in the mind, like my mind, needs to be stimulated for my body to be stimulated, and that's a huge one.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: If you have Venus and Taurus, it's very sensual.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: It can be about food, it's about art, create, touch, right.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: So somebody like hands on you, like a massage, cooking together these things would be really activating for Venus and Taurus, right?
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: So understanding your Venus sign and what that means for you can be really helpful as well.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: When it comes to this, this part of it, sex after motherhood this was a big one and I don't know that I'm.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I think it's relearning your body for a big one, because after we have a child our body changes in so many ways and so it's relearning a body, getting comfortable with our body, being able to set boundaries, because I think sometimes there's this six-week period where they were told a hard no for sex and maybe your partner wants it and you don't, and being okay with the fact that your body is going through so much hormonally in every way.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: It's healing, especially if you had C-sections.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: That's massive surgery and it's okay to say no, it's okay to not want it.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: And I think sometimes we feel obligated to open ourselves up to it at that six-week mark I know I didn't even wait six weeks after my son, which was actually a little bit challenging.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: But trusting yourself, knowing yourself, tuning into yourself right, because I do.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I think the huge part of that is like our body has changed in so many ways and it's this we're getting reacquainted with our body and being a mother and the different ways that our body is expressing that in our emotions and our minds.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Like it changes everything, especially first time and second time too, but that first time it changes everything.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: And so really tuning into yourself and really getting familiar with your body again, getting your own relationship with your body again.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: So maybe you even start in self-pleasure, just like touching your body, like whatever it is, and, of course, like having a partner that's supportive, that will make you feel confident.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: But finding your confidence again after that is really, really supportive of that experience, I think.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: And again, feeling safe to say no, I'm not ready.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: And having those conversations, I think, can also be really helpful.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: The situation after my daughter we really didn't have much sex after her, partly for whatever reason, but our marriage was not working and then my son was.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: It was an unhealthy situation so that was just like a.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like I approached sex after childbirth in a healthy way in either.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: So if I ever were to do it again, I feel like I, now that I'm a little bit older and I know my body and I understand the process, um, I and I believe I would just now I would choose a partner where that would be an open conversation that we would be able to have.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Um, and a lot of times we just we avoid the whole conversation of sex, like we do it but we don't really talk about it, and I think that having those conversations is a huge part of intimacy, right, it's not just the physical act, it's all the rest of the conversations around it, because we're not the same person that we were even five minutes ago, right?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: So you might see something or hear something or try something that changes what you like.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: You might find something like, oh my gosh, I had no idea that felt this good, right, and being able to communicate that and be like, wow, I really liked it when you did that last week or yesterday or whatever it is.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Can we try that again, or can we explore that a little bit further?
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: And if we're not having those conversations, it's really hard to get our needs met and to meet the needs of our partner, and I think that should be the goal is, it's not just the physical act, there's so much more, because when we're having sex with somebody, there's this energetic tie, which is why, sort of in the beginning of this episode or midway through this episode, maybe talking about dating and sex, where it is a good idea to pause and wait, just because we, as specifically you know, as females, as women, we get energetically whether you're male or female, masculine or feminine, identified any way, we are creating an energetic cord, an energetic bond to another human being.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Now women get emotionally attached in a way that maybe men don't, but there's still an energetic tie.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: There's still people I'm thinking of one specific person from my past like sometimes I'll think about them and they text me, right, and so there is an energetic high that we're creating through the act of sex.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: But there's so much more to it than that, right, it's it's intimacy and it's it's conversations and it's boundaries and it's exploration and it's fun and it should be all of these things, and it really comes down to communication and experimentation and being open to it.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Right down to communication and experimentation and being open to it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Right, there's a book called oh my gosh, it's on my bedside table, I think.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: It's called Sex at Dawn and it's kind of.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't finish the book, but it's centered around this idea of like are we actually designed to be monogamous?
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: So if you've read it, I don't know how it ends.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I just know that a core part of like what I've read so far is centered around this idea of like are we even designed to be monogamous, and what that means for us and how we've gotten to this place.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: And so it's a really interesting question concept.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I think I don't know that I have been answer, that anybody really has an answer for that.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I haven't finished the book, but again, this is sort of where your astrology can come into play.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Like, I have a lot of earth in my chart and so I can be a little bit jealous, a little bit possessive, so I'm not open to sharing and some people are fine with that, right.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: But I think, like being honest about that in a relationship and how you're showing up I also think that this is kind of sort of the last point that I had on this I think that we shy away from the conversation of sex in America specifically, and I'm sure more places around the world, with youth, and I think that creates a disconnect.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I think that creates challenges because we're not educated, we don't understand, we're sort of told not to do it.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: There's obviously a lot of politics behind it and I grew up internationally where we had a sex ed class oh my gosh, and I mean I was in middle school, we were putting condoms on bananas and you know, understanding things like that.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: And then I come here and I feel like nobody uses condoms here.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: This is a broad generalization, because people do use condoms, but it's not as common and it's just.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like the education around it isn't there.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: It's just sort of like, yeah, just don't do it, be shame, feel shame around it, and I think it's such a beautiful part of being human, right I think who came here for is for emotions and pleasure.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Like that's kind of what it's about.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Right, we experience things in this 3D, in these physical vessels, that our souls, on different dimensions and different planes and different worlds, like just don't experience.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: And so we're here in these bodies to experience these things, and yet we get so caught up in the mind and we suffer and we struggle because we don't know what our purpose is and why we're here and everything's so complicated, it's so dense and it's so heavy, and that's also something that's sort of been coming up is like I sometimes feel like it's like I'm healing so hard, that it's so challenging that I forgotten how much play and fun should be a part of it.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Like it doesn't have to be this hard.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: It really doesn't have to be this hard.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It can be fun, it can be adventure and awe, and I think that's something that we need to include in our day in some way.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I also feel like, yeah, my routine has been a little bit out and I'm getting back to it, but yeah, I feel like those were sort of like two different topics sort of sewn together in one and as separate as they are, I also think they're really linked together, because one thing that Magda and I were talking about on the episode a couple weeks ago was, you know, when you are exploring sexuality, it is a little bit easier to do that during dating, because you're setting the foundation, you're having communication.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: It's sort of like you get a reset, as opposed to being in a long-term relationship when you're trying to bring these things in, and it shifts the relationship a little bit right, and I think having that open conversation, that open communication, is really helpful.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: But of course, it's not impossible to show up in long-term dedicated relationships and have these conversations about sex or what we want or what we desire, what we want to try, and I think that, again, just coming back, I think we can start wherever we're at, but I think it is really important specifically when you're dating, because you're setting the foundation for the rest of your relationship.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Right, we know we are creatures of habit, right.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: So the way that we show up in a relationship tends to be the way that that relationship is going to progress, and so I just think it's really important where you can take some time to identify what it is that you need, what you want, and I think there is this period of getting to know somebody.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: So one thing that I do appreciate of not like rushing into something is this slower pace of like okay, I'm getting to know you, you're getting to know me.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's still important to have a conversation of maybe exclusivity or maybe like just where you want it to go, keeping that conversation open.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't have to be this commitment right away where we feel like we can't get out of it.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: It is still a learning curve of getting to know somebody and learning how they want to show up and learning how you want to show up and where can you meet in the middle and how are your lives going to.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: There's just a lot of conversations around what it looks like, and so I appreciate the slowness and also I trust myself.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I trust the things that continue to show up for me, and I know that I value when words and actions align.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: It's so important and, like I said, the bare minimum does not make a great relationship.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: It sets a foundation, but there's so much more that you need on top of that.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So that was my episode for this week.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: It was again sort of two-part, random, but it worked.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: It all meshed together and made sense in its own way.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: So the body reset that I did on Instagram.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to make this into a program.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I will have a link out for that probably in the next week or so.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Holistic Human Design Academy opens its doors June 15th.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: It will close its doors July 1st.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: So this two-week period June 15th it will close its doors July 1st.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So this two-week period, basically, where I'm enrolling for this, and it's like a remembering of who you are.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's so supportive in getting really intimate with your chart, getting intimate with the charts of those you love, your energetic subconscious reprogramming.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: There's a lot in there, but the core of this is remembering who you are.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I think we have this question.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: One of the big burning questions is what is my purpose?
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Why am I here?
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: And so I think when you get intimate with yourself and your chart in this beautiful, powerful way, you're remembering why you're here.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: You're remembering collective consciousness, right.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: You're remembering that we're all connected.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: You're remembering, remembering who you are, and so that's the core of this program and we really, really dive deep into your charts and, layer by layer, each week, we add onto it and it's just as beautiful, unfolding.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: So that is June 15th.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: There's a link in the show notes where you can get on the wait list for that and one-on-one sessions, transit reports, pluto deep dives are still available.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Human design, astrology readings are still available.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: I'll leave a link that you can send me a message, actually email address.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Email is the best way to schedule those.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: My schedule currently, at the moment, is a little bit unpredictable, but that's all the ways.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram at rochellechristian.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Every single link you need is in the show notes.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to my I don't want to say seemingly random.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think it was random, but my rant here and I will catch you next week.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: You.