Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 273 -Other people and their rules of the holidays are coming

Transcript

Season 4 - Episode 273 -Other people and their rules of the holidays are coming · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
• 0:04
  Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
• 0:07
  a mastermindset coach, creative strategist, and also happened to
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  be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
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  come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
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  distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
• 0:20
  some joy into the world. So welcome to the coop and let's
• 0:23
  start your day off in a fantastic way.
• 0:27
  Hey, good morning everybody. One of the interesting things
• 0:30
  for me about doing this podcast every day is that it really is
• 0:34
  live time in life and you know, my life, my clients lives and
• 0:40
  you really see how time compresses, if that makes sense.
• 0:46
  So we are coming up on the holidays and I think we all know
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  that whatever number of days we have left in this year, I don't
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  know, it's probably like 68 now. OK, I haven't checked today, but
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  whatever it is, we're coming up on that point where we're all
• 1:01
  going to be going into the holidays for whatever holidays
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  that you observe and go, you know, meet your family with.
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  And one of the things that's already happening, and it's come
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  up multiple times this week, is how people are jockeying for
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  position about what to do with the holidays.
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  So we all say we love to spend time with family until we
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  actually have to spend time with family.
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  And then we go, Oh my God, I cannot believe I'm going to have
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  to put up with this. I cannot believe this person is
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  saying they're not going to go. I cannot believe that this
• 1:32
  person is acting like this already.
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  Did you know what this means to me?
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  I can't believe that my parents are putting me under this
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  pressure to deal with my brother or my sister or whatever it is.
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  And the stories go on and on and on and on and on.
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  Why does this happen to us? What is the reason that this
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  takes place? Why do people push us to do
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  other things? Well, here's the deal.
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  Everyone has their own vision of things in their head.
• 2:00
  They have that version that they want to live into, whether it's
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  idyllic or it's a disaster, whatever that vision is, they
• 2:07
  want to live into that and they want us to all show up perfect
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  in their vision. And here's the kicker, we have
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  visions too, and we want everyone to show up perfect in
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  our visions as well. So Can you imagine a bunch of
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  people running around with all their own rules and pushing
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  those rules on everybody else over the holidays?
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  When we say, I mean, I mean I'm compacting it down to the
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  holidays. But we do this all the time
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  anyway. If we're working on a work
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  project or we're bidding on a job or we're doing something, we
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  have that vision of how we want it to go and they have their
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  vision of how they want it to go.
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  We are always running into other people's visions and versions of
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  things and it is extremely challenging when you come down
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  to the holidays because now it's family stuff.
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  So it's not just work stuff, it's family stuff.
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  And now so and so has offended this person and I don't want him
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  there at the house. And if this person says that,
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  then she's going to blow up. The stories go on and on and on,
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  and there everyone always says, what's the solution, Kim?
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  I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this.
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  I don't know how to make it OK. Well, one, it is not our job as
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  human beings to be Switzerland for every country out there and
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  try to negotiate every single thing going on.
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  It's just not. It's just not going to happen.
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  It's just not going to happen. What can happen if you decide to
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  have it happen is that you start to take note of how you're
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  feeling all the time and don't plug into the anxiety.
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  You can go and be an observer. You can go and you can route use
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  my rule of I can be in the world, but not of the world.
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  In other words, you're going to go into this other home, You're
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  going to go into this other situation.
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  What even if it's at work now, you can use this anywhere.
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  I can be in it, but I don't have to be of it.
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  Meaning it's not part of me. It's happening externally, but I
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  choose not to let it in. And people will say, how do you
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  do that? Well, you do that by first
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  acknowledging that you don't want it in.
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  You do it by visualizing that you are in a bubble if you need
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  to. That's my personal way because
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  I'm very visual. So I love to put myself in
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  bubbles to protect myself. And I'll say, oh, I'm in it, but
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  not of it. I used that technique when we
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  were at the fair and there were so many people.
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  I just started. I just paused, pictured myself
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  inside a bubble and was able to not get overwhelmed with the
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  number of people there because I do not like large crowds.
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  Used to be able to tolerate them a lot better when I was younger,
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  didn't like them but I could tolerate them.
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  Now I tolerate them way less. So I really have to use the
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  bubble and you can hear everything that's happening.
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  You can choose to interact if you want to, but the beautiful
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  part of the bubble is you don't have to if you don't want to.
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  You can just smile and you can say before you go in if you prep
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  your brain before you go into any situation for this does not
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  have anything to do with me. This is their challenge.
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  This is their learning process. This is what they are going
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  through. I am simply showing up and I am
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  going to stay in a state of love or generosity or whatever the
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  state you want to be. Ian, I'm going to have this
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  emotion driving my bus and I am going to sit and smile and I'm
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  going to keep a smile on my face.
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  And I'm going to be observant and I am going to send out as
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  much goodness as I can. And that is the way to handle
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  it. And it's always, it always works
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  when you don't stick your finger in the light socket.
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  So prepare for the holidays now and we're going to be good.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
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  will see you tomorrow. Bye.