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Leaning into God's Promises when Motherhood is Hard w/Special Guest Alicia Searl · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Moms, this episode is for you.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: I have Alicia Searle on the podcast today talking about leaning into God's promises when motherhood is hard.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Alicia is a Christian author, writer, coach, and speaker who's passionate about sharing God's word to spread hope and healing.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's a contributing writer for I Believe, Crosswalk, Christianity.com, and Your Daily Prayer.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: She's authored two devotionals, several Bible studies, and a children's book and coloring book to Comfort Grievers.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: When Alicia isn't writing her heart on a page, she enjoys sipping an oat milk latte while soaking in a bit of peace on her back porch swing.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, you'll find her playing house with her rowdy family of five or handing a hammer to her hubby for their next DIY project.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Alicia, welcome to the show.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's so great to have you here.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, tell us a little bit about your mom life and what's on your heart to share with listeners today.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I have three daughters.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: My oldest is 19.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: She just went off to college.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I have a 17-year-old daughter who's in high school, and then our bonus baby who is 10.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So a wide range of ages there.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Lots of fun, lots of crazy and with girls, lots of emotional, it's an emotional roller coaster around here, but it's fun.
• 2:02
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have two daughters myself.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: I understand.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, such a blessing.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Such a blessing.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yes, I'm sure that keeps you on your toes, you know, working, you know, with the emotions and the lifestyle of each age range.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, you're gonna be um talking about the lies that we believe sometimes about motherhood and moms, and you're gonna be sharing truth from God's words.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna let you jump right in.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds good.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just I wanted to share this really impactful um lesson just because as a mom myself that has just struggled with believing lies, especially with our oldest daughter, I would just say the last probably three to four years with her have been really challenging.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we have dealt with um just some choices and trying to navigate some things with her that have just allowed me to believe things like I'm not good enough, or you know, I've done something wrong, or you know, her choices are a reflection on me as a mother.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are dealing with, you know, a wayward daughter like like ours is at this point, or just a hard season in motherhood, or you're in a place that you're looking back saying, How did I get here?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I missed the newborn years or the toddler years, then this is for you because I think we all just kind of go through seasons of motherhood that we're just kind of trudging through or just faced with uncertainty.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the enemy loves to sneak into those places and capture our heart and just etch lies into our heart.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:43
  unknown: So true.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, I just thought maybe we could jump right in and I was going to just talk about the lies that we believe and wrap them with the truth found in God's word.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's so powerful because there is power in God's word.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, what would you say are the kind of most common lies that we do believe as moms?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was gonna point out the first one is that we can be kind of in like this in-between season or in a place that we're like, God, do you see me?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a plan for my life?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you have a plan for this time in my season of motherhood?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I would like to just lean in to the truth found in Psalm 3723, which says, the Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Our God is a purposeful planner in every season of our life.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that this truth in promise just reminds us that when we delight in our God and we worship him and praise him and thank him, no matter what season we're in, it reminds us that he is giving us the next step, even if that is just looking ahead to, okay, the next day, the next moment, the next minute.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes that's all we can do.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just rely and trust on God that, okay, I don't know the plan.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's going to happen next, but I know that you do and I trust you.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just being mindful that when Satan comes in and says, Yeah, you don't have a plan for this season of your life, or you're just failing miserably, that we can delight in God and know that He does have a plan, even if it looks a little murky and we don't understand it in that time.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: So important.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a good word there.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and what would I think you're gonna talk about uh just how God can equip us, right?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think the second lie that we can believe is I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy, or were these children even meant to be mine?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't do this, right?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think we can believe that lie.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have, especially with my wayward daughter.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, where do we go wrong?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've I've talked to my husband, like, what do we do?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That why are why are we working with a daughter right now that is just bending to the ways of the world?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, didn't we did we mess up somewhere?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do we not teach her the right way?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we have to remember, I lean back on the truth found on 2 Peter 1, 3 that says, His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we just have to remember we're not enough on our own.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna fail, we're gonna mess up, and we're gonna make plenty of mistakes.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: But our God is filled with mercy and grace, and that never ends.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: He is enough for us.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're not enough, but he is enough.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And with Christ, we can always be the moms that God is calling us to be.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what about God is our comforter?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Matthew 5.4 has been one that I have just leaned into so often because we can get into a season of motherhood that's just really hard.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's surrounded by pain or hurt or confusion.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And Matthew 5.4 says, Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, being a mom can bring on all kinds of sorrow and pain, right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe we're, you know, we could be grieving a season that we once had and that, you know, when they were little and we want to go back to, or maybe we're watching our children walk in the ways of this world and that can just cause so much hurt and confusion.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we just have to be reminded that our God sees our pain and he takes our heart and our heart seriously.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: He knows what we're going through.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: We just have to continue to trust God in those moments and that he will bound up our sorrow and hurt and wash us with his peace.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that looks like maybe getting on our knees and saying, God, I don't get this.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't understand what's happening.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why we're in this season.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why you took this or why you changed that or why you're allowing my child to go down this path.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that you can give me comfort.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for me, that looks like sometimes just taking a step outside and going for a walk and just looking at his creation, saying, God, I need your peace.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I may not understand, but I just need your comfort and peace.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes for me, it's taking a cup of coffee and sitting outside and just enjoying that beautiful smell of coffee.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a coffee lover.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or um just taking my heart to him and all honesty and saying, I'm I'm hurting.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's going on, but I need your peace.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, one thing I know the enemy likes to work through fear.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so often, you know, as parents, you know, especially when we're going through the harder times, we can become fearful.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on with my child?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, uh, these decisions they're making, they're not good, Lord.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that can generate some fear.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the enemy would love to play on that.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So, what what scripture do you have for that?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, isn't parenting in this day and age totally just it's so it brings down a whole bunch of different just discontentment and you know, confusion and hurt, and it's hard.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Parenting in this day and age, I'm just gonna call it out between the technology and all the things that our kids are facing.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: It can be hard to navigate and know what to do.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that fear just instantly creeps in.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I just lean back on Isaiah 41, 10 that says, do not fear, for I am with you.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: We have to realize we're in a spiritual battle, and the enemy is after the hearts of us as moms, and he is on a brutal attack on the hearts and the innocence of our children.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: We can't, we can't dismiss that.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: But we also have to be willing to fight for good.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: That means turning to the one that fights our battles.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Our prayers are powerful.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot discount that.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Our prayers and our praise to God are so powerful.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the things that we believe are really impactful.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if we believe, like God, you have my child, when they're away from me and I'm fearful, like having a daughter in college is just it's allowed me to realize that I've had to give up control and realize that God has got her, and just reminding myself that she's she's my daughter, but she's God's daughter first.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when I'm not there, he's always there, he's always present.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: So we just need to get to the place where we can trust God and then he'll conquer the enemy on our behalf and on our children's behalf.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's right.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you have Isaiah 41, 10.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, yeah.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll list I'll list all of these in the show notes because you know, I love this.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think of Jesus who in the wilderness, how did he defeat the enemy?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it was through the word of God.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: So this is so important.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you have one more on grace, which we all need as parents.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: We can definitely give ourselves so much guilt and shame as moms, can't we?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we we are really good about blaming ourselves for things.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I have been through that in a cycle over and over.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the enemy leads me to believe all the time, like, oh, the reason why your children failed is because you're a failure.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: The reason why this happened is because you messed up.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And whenever that happens, I lean back on Romans 15, 13, which tells us, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are not perfect, and neither are our children.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna fail and we're gonna fail.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: God does not expect us to be perfect, but thankfully, we serve a perfect God that never fails us or our children, which are ultimately his children.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: We must teach our children the truth that you know what, darling, I'm gonna mess up, I'm gonna fail you.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: But God never, ever will.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if we can teach our children that truth and hold on to the accountability that God is always with and for them, they can accept his grace, his mercy, his compassion, and his forgiveness.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they can also realize that even though we mess up, they can forgive us as well and receive our compassion and grace as we're trying to navigate motherhood.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just this beautiful exchange between parents, earthly parents, as well as leaning on solely on our Heavenly Father.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so good.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Alicia, before we close, please share about your Bible study for moms.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's called God's Promises for Moms, Bible study to reclaim your identity.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: Tell us a little bit about that.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I I wrote this out of a heart that just really wanted to seek truth myself.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it kind of came from my own personal testimony.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was just walking through a really hard time in motherhood, um, especially with our oldest daughter, who I really do firmly believe that God will use Proverbs 22, 6 to lead her back.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we laid down the foundation, clumsy at best, and the best that we can, but God uses that to bring them back.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so those are promises that I wanted to lean on.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the things that we touched on today, but there's like 10, and this is just scratches the surface, right?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many promises scattered throughout God's word that especially touch on the hearts of us as mothers.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just a reminder of who God says we are as women, who God says we are as moms, and that as we're leading and guiding them, he is leading and guiding us.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to lean on that truth in order to do the best that we can and do what he is calling us to do as moms.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that sounds wonderful.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: I will link to that in show notes uh for lists to grab a hold of.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And where is the best place to connect with you online?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do much social media?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know I've I've connected with you on Instagram.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I probably connect more on Instagram.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I do have a website.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's just my name, www.alishaarl.com.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And on there, I have uh I have a blog, which you've contributed to with like stories from the heart from moms and women and wives.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I also um connect through social media and just share stories on motherhood, on um being a wife, on grief, and just so much more.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderful.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Alicia, thank you so much for being here and sharing these words of encouragement, the scripture, God's word will not return voids.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited for moms to you know copy those scriptures and just grab a hold of them and stand on them.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we will have those in the show notes.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you for being here.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And listeners, thank you for joining us.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to check the show notes for links to connect with Alicia online and to grab a copy of her Bible study.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: And please share this episode with another mom you want to encourage.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Then come back next week for another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, have a blessed week.