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Transcript

The Toxic Husbands Of TikTok... · The conspiracy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Said it once, and I'll say it again.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Don't post your husband's online.
• 0:02
  Speaker 3: I just think it's hilarious sometimes how men are dog food.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Let's just get in here.
• 0:09
  Speaker 4: Don't be that bad.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: So I went down the TikTok rabbit hole once again.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: And there's a phenomenon happening on TikTok that I can't
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: stop watching or thinking about, and it bothers me and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: millions of other people, and I just want to share
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: it with you. I need you in on this. So
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: if you don't want to hear about other people's drama
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and get invested in that, you can skip this one.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Skip this one. But if you want some fresh, hot,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: steaming tea and to give me your unsolicited opinions in
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: the comments, come with me, my child, let us rant.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So the topic of today's TikTok trend, if you will,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: it's kind of a trend at this point, is specifically
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: women posting videos of their partners, in this case men,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: and these said men are doing something objectively, verifiably, sertifiably
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: unhinged or in raging or borderline abusive. Sometimes, I'd say,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: and we're just expected to laugh as a viewer and say,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: men am I right, No, Susan, You're married to an
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: incompetent two hundred pound toddler. Am I wrong? You know
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: that's kind of where I'm at? But no, I mean,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: in all seriousness, TikTok is the place for fun videos
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: for entertainment. Obviously I'm on there, Okay, I'm guilty, guilty
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: as charch okay. And there's lots of TikTok couples out there,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: some of which post very unrealistic videos, and some of
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: which post very realistic videos and expect us to think
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: that that's relatable in some way. But this TikTok toxic
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: couple content cycle goes as such. In the specific video, okay,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: it goes women post video of partner's bad behavior.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: This morning, my husband made coffee and spilt the coffee
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: grounds on the floor and I don't want them to
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: hear me. Curious how long these coffee grounds they'll sit here?
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: Is that at all?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: And then the video goes viral, and then the comment
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: section goes ballistic with mostly common sense and concern, and
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: then the poster gets defensive and posts a follow up
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: video just doubling down.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: You got it, you got it? So the whole four year,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: missus Claus, I am believe that for me.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, and then comes more backlash and then you rinse
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: and repeat, and I've just seen it over and over
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: and over again. Was I looking for it? At one point?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: After I saw like ten? Maybe, OK, maybe I'm the problem.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: But it's like a perpetual motion machine that runs on
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: red flags and cognitive dissonance, you know what I'm saying.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So today we're going to look at some of the
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: most viral examples of this phenomenon and just try to
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: figure out what what the hell's going on and how
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: you guys feel about it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: I'm so curious.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Do you like free candy? Why the hockey shirt new?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And do you like free mobile games?
• 3:05
  Speaker 6: Golly, I sure do as well as that too candy
• 3:08
  Speaker 6: in games?
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: And do you like possums? Absolutely?
• 3:12
  Speaker 6: God?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Then you should download our new mobile game that we made,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Legend of Zulk. This is Zulk by the way, Hi,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: He's the main character of the game. Three free candy.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Step one, download Legend of Zelk on iPhone or Android.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Step two. Go to the main screen of Legend of
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Zolk and press the earn candy button. Step three begin
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: the quest, play the game and earn candy. I'm exhilarated
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: right now. This video is sponsored by Legend of Zulk.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: So let's start with the one that I'm gonna call
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: the lunch box incident or weaponized in competence final boss,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: let me know which one you prefer. So this TikToker
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: is a teacher and in the video, she just forgets
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: her lunch one day. Okay, we all do that, no
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: big deal. And then she asks her husband to bring
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: her food at work, which, yeah, okay, that's a nice
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: husband thing to do. So she decided to film an
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: unboxing of whaty packed, and I'll just I'll let you watch.
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: We have a bag of cookies, not a ziplock bag,
• 4:12
  Speaker 7: bag of pretzels scales very unsafetly on an apple, so
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: we have not just a portion of springles, but an
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: entire container. Another bag of pope is options. We have
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: my two day old Chipotle. We have a bag of
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: dog food because you're my dog, please bring back the
• 4:26
  Speaker 7: dogs are low on food.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: So an open bag of Mulano's stale cookies, cool, half empty,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: love that, no zip block, just a crinkled bag, and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: then dots pretzels like ninety nine percent empty, still in
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: the original packaging. One apple lisearch fruit, you know, and
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: then a pringles can which sounds half empty, and then
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: another bag of cookies which is also half empty and
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: also like open. And then a two day old Chipotle container,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: which I hope doesn't have rice in it, because newsflash,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: you can get botulism from meeting leftover rice if it's
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: over two to three days. So note that Caleb told
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: me that, And I was like, I've been eating four
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: day old rice since I was a child, So that's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: just a fun little fact for you, so watch out
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: for that anyway. And then the bag of dog food
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: with the note saying, because you're my dog, please bring
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: back the dogs are low on food. And you know,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: looking at all of this, it's it could be funny.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I could see how that's funny. I'm gonna go in
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: with a big old, big old, chunky, boulder sized grain
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: of salt.
• 5:30
  Speaker 8: Here.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: If I received that, I'd be like, Okay, where's the
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: real lunch though. That's funny. Where's the real lunch though?
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: But there's no there's there's no.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: None of that.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: So she just kind of left with a lunch that
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: a small toddler child would pack and a chore on
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: top of that, just to go get more dog food
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: because they're low on dog food. Also, he packed that
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: one first. He thought of the joke. First, packed that
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: one first before all the other food.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: But in the video, I mean.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: You saw she's laughing like the whole time, and she
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: ends it by saying, so, ladies, if you don't have
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: food and your husband has to bring your lunch, just
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: know that you're going to get lots of food as well,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: maybe even a cute note. Personally, and like a majority
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: of the comments can't relate, I can't relate. My husband
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: would put actual food in there. The apple was okay,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Apple was all right. Although I think like the dog
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: food joke, I mean, people are really mad about that.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I think it could be funny if they have like
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: a jokey relationship. But it was the follow up that
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: that wasn't that great. And she also wrote in the
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: comments also, I realized you clearly knew where the ziploc
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: bags were because you used one for the dog food.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: So that this is where the incompetence is coming in,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: the weaponized in competence, because it's like, oh, you put
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: the dog food, you put a lot of thought into
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: giving her the dog food, and then you just you
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: didn't put any thought into actually packing the lunch. And
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: the original video had like over thirty million views, and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: it's also pinned, so even though there's like all sorts
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: of backglass, she's raking in that dough, you know. And
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the comments, as I said, had been mostly turned off
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: or just heavily censored due.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: To the volume.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: But these are the highlights of the general comments. Why
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: are you assuming everyone's partners are like this? Have you
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: ever heard of weaponizing competence? Just curious? You're laughing, But
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: this is how he really feels about you. You know,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: that has three hundred and fifty five thousand up votes.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: You're like, hearts That's why a lot of people feel
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: like that. But that is the majority of the comments.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: People are like, oh my god, like that. That is
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: childish and crazy, and you like, the incompetence is unreal
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna lie. I kind of agree if
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: there was the joke the dog food thing, I can
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: kind of put aside, but without the follow up of
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: actual food, I don't really like it. But some other
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: comments said very few, but some other comments said, why
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: is everyone taking this so seriously, it is hilarious. They
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: probably have the best marriage ever. I don't think so, RNDA,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: but you do you And then another one said people
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: don't understand humor and it's sending me and you know whatever,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: that's fine, and that's kind of why I'm talking about
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: this because I'm curious what you think. But the term
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: that was said throughout this whole comment section was weaponized
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: in competence. And for those of you who don't know
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: what that means, necessarily from the definition from the Cleveland Clinic,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: a psychological dynamic where one person avoids or refuses to
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: do a task and uses their incompetence as an excuse.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: And the four signs, according to the Cleveland Clinic, are
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: phrases like I'm not good at that, or you do
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: this better, it just makes no attempt to improve, or
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: uses the word help for shared responsibilities and shifts blame
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: like you didn't give me the right instructions, you know,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: like a toddler or like a little small child does.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: So basically, it's when your partner suddenly develops a very
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: specific form of amnesia that only affects how sold tasks.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So basically, like babe, I literally couldnt figure out how
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: to fold this towel. It's like my hands just like
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: don't work. I just think you do it better. So
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go play Xbox with the boys, and also
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: on kind of crib and a sandwich. And you make
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: the best sandwiches, So if you're feeling up for it,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I would definitely like a sandwich. And if you do,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: you might get lucky. And I I'm sorry if I
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: triggered you, by the way, I'm really sorry about that.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: Didn't mean to do that.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I triggered myself, honestly, that's scared anyway. So as the
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: pattern follows, she posted a defense explanation video, so let's
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: dive into that.
• 9:39
  Speaker 7: Y'all are so pressed that he called me a dog.
• 9:41
  Speaker 7: He did not call me a d og dog d
• 9:43
  Speaker 7: og like a dog that has a leash, d a
• 9:46
  Speaker 7: w G dog as an homie American slang for homie's
• 9:49
  Speaker 7: what we call each other.
• 9:50
  Speaker 8: It's a joke. J o K.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: This was at the bottom because he thought of it.
• 9:55
  Speaker 7: Last and he tried to hide it under the chipotle
• 9:57
  Speaker 7: so that it would be a surprise because it was funny,
• 10:00
  Speaker 7: a joke. He was trying to make me wine.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, and all I mean, she's she's acknowledging that
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: like thirty million people were not on board and saw
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: the red flags within this, and she's she's more concerned,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: like about the dog food, Like it's a dawg, not dg.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: It's like, that's not what literally, like anybody's mad about.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: It's the fact that he didn't put food in your
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: lunch box. And he put more effort into putting dog
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: food into a bag than actually feeding his wife or whatever.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And the internet, I mean, the internet's the Internet, and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: they didn't respond that well to this defense, and people said,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: if it's a joke, where's the real lunch? And we
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: don't hate you, girl, we're sad for you. And she's
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: going to continue tolerating his quirkiness and see her views increase,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: what about her needs? And yeah, I mean I kind
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: of agree.
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: I'm curious what you.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Think though, because the video was framed as a funny
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: couple content, but the audience clearly saw something very different
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: than the creator intended, and instead of reconsidering in any way,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: she just doubled down. And the defense video got just
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: as much, if not more, reviews, and then she even
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: later posted I think a couple videos after that, one
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: of which was them dancing together with the caption they
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: probably are talking about us just leaning into the controversy,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: and the comments on that one just just are so
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: TikTok coded, if not, if not TikTok kind of Reddit coded.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: They go on to say, the search being don't save her,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: she don't want to be saved.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: Oh oh, that's okay.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: And trying to cope so bad. My man, my man,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: my man, all yours hell. Yeah, girl, except that bare
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: minimumnist that has forty four thousand up votes. That's that's wild,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you know. I mean, there are two adults, and they
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: can make their own decisions or whatever. But I'm curious
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: to know if she actually genuinely doesn't see it as
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: a problem and we are only seeing, you know, a
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: little glimpse into their relationship. Maybe this was just a
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: poorly tasted video, I don't know, or maybe she knows
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: exactly what reaction she would get if she posted it
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and just wants the views of the rage bait. I'm
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: leaning into it with.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Me right now.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: So she got what she wanted if she wants that.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: But either way, thirty million people saw your husband pack
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you dog food and poorly packed lunch, and that's just
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: out there now. But at least in that situation, she
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: wasn't actively asking him to stop, you know. So let's
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: talk about what happens when they do ask and get
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: ignored anyway, because this one is especially triggering. It was
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: for me, I don't know about y'all. Well, let's get
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: into it. So this creator is on TikTok obviously, and
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: her platform is built on humor to cope, specifically around
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: infertility and adoption, which I can totally appreciate. I don't
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: love the posting of the kids though, I'll never be
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: on board with that, so don't love that. But her
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: and her husband recently adopted their daughter, so the important
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: context is that their new parents, and they're exhausted, and
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: you know, it's an emotional journey. So with that, I'm
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: gonna let you watch the video.
• 13:01
  Speaker 9: She's still asleep, sleep on that driveway, and her eyes
• 13:04
  Speaker 9: are still closed. Everybody listen, cap no doors are opening,
• 13:08
  Speaker 9: no doors are opening, no barking there will be. We
• 13:11
  Speaker 9: will eat our food in here. I don't care if
• 13:12
  Speaker 9: I'm here for two hours or three days after what
• 13:16
  Speaker 9: she's done to us for four days. She's finally asleep.
• 13:19
  Speaker 9: No one's moving, nobody breathes, everyone sits still.
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: Quieter.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Let's just get in here.
• 13:28
  Speaker 9: It won't be that bad. It'll be like a pignic.
• 13:34
  Speaker 9: I live here, now, What about being happened?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: So they're in the car with the baby, and the
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: baby has finally fallen asleep, and she just asks him
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: for a break, and she wants to stay in the
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: car with the baby while she sleeps because they haven't
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: slept in so long. I'm guessing she hasn't slept specifically
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and so long, and he just slams the door. And
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: it took everything and me not to comment on this video. Okay,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't give it all. Right, Well, I guess.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: I'm here making a video about us.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I guess I'm just as bad. She even explains how
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: to close the door softly, and he just doesn't do
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: it anyway, and he just doubles down. And that, that
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: to me, is absolutely an emotionally a relationship. I don't
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: care if it's two seconds or whatever, thirty seconds of
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: your relationship. That's all I need to see. Personally. I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: hated watching that, and the comments agree. They say bring
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: me back when she divorces him. We're all mad at him, right,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: My feelings would have become felonies. You can clearly tell
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: which one of you has spent the last three hundred
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and seventy four nights awake with her. You woke her up.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I would have crashed out right there. I agree.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: I agree? What do you think?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Because I'm not necessarily a body language expert, and I'm
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: not a relationship counselor by any means. I'm just a
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: person with eyes and ears, okay, And what I saw
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: was a woman asking for help and not getting it,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: in fact, being extremely disrespected, and people agree to the
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: point of them making videos about it.
• 15:06
  Speaker 6: I just watched a video of a mom begging her
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: husband from the backseat of a car to please now
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: that the baby is asleep for the first time in
• 15:14
  Speaker 6: four days in the car, don't slam the car door.
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: Don't open the car door. She hasn't slept in four days.
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: I haven't slept in four days. Don't let the dogs bark.
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: What does this man do? He goes, I'm not sitting
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: in the car, gets out of the car, slams the door,
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: wakes the baby up. Poor woman sitting in the backseat
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: of the car with the baby, and she's crying and
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: begging so she can maybe get some rest and the
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: baby can get some rest, and he slams the door
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: on purpose so he can go into the TV.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And then at that point, after getting all those comments
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: and reading them and everything, she has a tail as
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: all as time, doubled down with the defense post. And
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: this post was just like a highlight reel, the most
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: unrealistic highlight reel, like I wouldn't win couples posts like
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: this is how he is all the time. It's like,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you immediately. I don't believe you for
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: some reason, and in this especially not. I'm not saying
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: everybody's guilty of that, but this case especially not. Because
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: she posted a video with clips of her husband being
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: good or whatever, with the text over life saying I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: was told to divorce my husband this week, And in
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: the caption she has a long paragraph which I already
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: think is is that's just a sign of not good,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But it says this week I was told to divorce him,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: leave him now he hates you. A video I posted
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: went viral and it landed on the wrong side of
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: the internet. That doesn't exist, by the way, that's just
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: the Internet. Welcome to the Internet, which isn't fun. I
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: don't approve of people like hating necessarily, but from what
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I saw, most of the comments are just like concerned
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: or like you deserve better. I think they're just genuinely
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: disheartened by it that. She goes on to say, what
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: was meant to be a lighthearted, relatable parenting moment. If
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: that's relatable, I feel sorry for so many, so many
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: people out there, but most people don't agree, so I
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: don't think it's that relatable. It was completely misinterpreted, She continues.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Assumptions were made that couldn't have been further from the
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: truth based on a two minute video meant to be funny.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Thousands of comment suddenly appeared about how awful a man
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: my husband supposedly is. Yeah, and I think a lot
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: of people, I mean, I know a lot of people
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: in the comments are just like, like we you know,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: it's just everybody's tired at this point. They're like, what
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: are you doing? And it's like you can't help but
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: think behind the scenes, he's like you need to make
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: this rite or something, which that's completely an assumption by
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: the way they might have a very happy marriage just
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: might have been a two minute moment in their relationship.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: But if you're posting it on the internet, people are
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: gonna say stuff, and they're gonna see what they see
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: and say say stuff about what they see, and you can't,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: you know. But anyway, comments say we're not convinced, but
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: as long as you are, then don't post Yes, please
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: stay with him, but keep him off the market. A
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: video who posted, oh, okay, keep your relationship off socials
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: and you won't hear what you don't want to hear,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: then why keep the video up? And I mean, yeah, yeah, basically,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: And there were some comments that I actually realized.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh, yeah, that's that's actually.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: A really good point. And those where you do know,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: intentionally happy videos are fake and not real life. Everyone
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: puts on a good face for the camera. Gen Z
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: still needs to learn the hard lesson that social media
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: isn't real life. And you know that's not true all
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: the time, I'm sure, but we do need to realize
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: that things that are posted on the internet are meant
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: to be romanticized or to be the best parts of
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: people's lives, which I think everybody like realizes, but like
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: in this, in this circumstance, she's very much she's doing
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: it to make sure you think that you know. So
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: it's like we're already I'm already immune to it at
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: this point because I saw what he is like when
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: he's not knowing that he's being filmed, you know what
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I mean. And then another person said, women have got
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: to stop making videos that cast your husband in a
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: bad light. Even if you think it's lighthearted, A quick
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: glance at your other videos tells me your husband clearly
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: loves you and your child. He was likely overwhelmed and
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: frustrated in the post that went viral, but it's on
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: you for posting him in that moment. We don't know
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: your husband, and the internet is going to run with
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: whatever narrative that gets into a couple minutes, we're shown.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Women have to do a better job of protecting their
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: families and not putting their vulnerable moments on the Internet
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: for the entire world to dissect. You can't blame TikTok
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: for this one, Girly, I completely agree with that because
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I have watched some of the other videos, and I mean,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: they could be videos that are romanticized and they're just
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: showing the good moments. But he seems good, you know,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: but based off that video, I just don't really like him,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: and I can feel like that. Okay, it's me. I'm
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: allowed to feel like that. I don't know this person.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: But yeah, if you're gonna post stuff on the internet,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: you have to be willing to be dissected. I like,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I have to know that. Every single day I post something,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, this is out of my hands
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm fine with what I posted and it is
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: what it is. So you just really need to think
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: about that.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Not to mention.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I know, I always go back to this and I
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: say it to death, but sh you know, if you're
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: posting your kid online, because that's something this person does
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: as well, it's going to live online forever and your
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: kid is going to get dissected and looked at by strangers.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: So there are consequences for your actions, you know. So
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: this video was posted as you know, relatable parenting humor,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: but the audience just sees it as exhaustion and dismissal,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and the defense just reframes it as misinterpretation. And in
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: my opinion, the phrase lighthearted or like relatable moment or
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: doing heavy lifting in this in this one specifically, but
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: it begs a question like, if it was supposed to
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: be a funny moment, why are you crying or on
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: the edge of crying? And if it's not a big deal,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: why did thousands, hundreds of thousands of millions of people
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: independently have the same concerned reaction. But there's absolutely a
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: chance I'm just reading into it too much and I
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: am just being too harsh. It really does come from
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: just a place of concern, you know. I feel like
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: as women, we just see that and we're just like, ah,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: like you don't you deserve so much better. We don't
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: want that for you. But it could just be as
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: it could just be range baite. I don't know, you know,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: it could even be fake that. It really didn't seem
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: fake to me, but it was a two minute video,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and maybe we're missing some context. Okay, let me know
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: what you think. And that allows me to segue into
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: a situation with more context, and somehow it's worse. So
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: this next matter is a woman who's a stay at
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: home mom with three children, and she went on a
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: work trip for four days and left her kids with
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: her husband, and then she returned and she showed the
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: state of her children, which don't love you posting your
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: children exposing them on the internet, especially in a state
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: that's not that great. But I digress blurring all that
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: because I'm not contributing to that.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: But here's the video.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: So the caption is, I left my husband and kids
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: for four days, and this is how I came home
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: to them. I love being a stay at home mom,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: and I'm so happy my husband works so hard so
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I can be always funny when I leave for a
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: few days and come back to my rugrat kiddos. You
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: mean your neglected children? Okay, yeah, I'm tired of this
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: trope where men just gonna pass for like being a
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: shitty parent no matter what situation is going on. Because
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: their hair's unwashed, unbrushed, it's still in the same hairstyle
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: from four days ago, which means she probably nodded and matted,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: not to mention the hygiene. The kids hadn't been bathed,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and their faces had food and dirt smudged on them,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: and their clothing was not whether a propriate at all,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: So then there's safety concerns as well, and she's just
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: brushing it off like, haha, men, am I right?
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: No you're not.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: It's really bad actually, and naturally the internet's reaction was
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: even more severe than mine. If it were a babysitter,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: they'd be fired. Good thing, it's just their actual parent.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Seventy three thousand up votes. My legally blind father does
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: more for my siblings than this, so they were neglected.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Two hundred and eighty nine thousand up votes. Another one,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: she's defending him in the comments, Wrap it up, everyone,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: And that just kind of is the tone of all
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: of this whole video. Basically, it's like, why are we
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: why do we even bother?
• 23:41
  Speaker 8: You know?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: And with this one, especially because she really doubles down
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: and she like tries to show her husband like actually
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: doing something around the house, which I'm sure she like said,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: do something around the house. So these people understand that,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: you know, you're not actually like this when you are you.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Know, I don't know, guys, today in my robe on
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: the cap whis probably gonna take an out because it's
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: not a good day today.
• 24:02
  Speaker 9: But my husband, my husband.
• 24:04
  Speaker 10: Is fixing the ice machine because it broke.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: So don't just ignore breakfast mess.
• 24:08
  Speaker 7: Okay, he's a smart man.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: But this is weaponized in competence on full display, in
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: my opinion. And there's actually a comment that said that verbatim,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: and people pointed out that this isn't a funny dad moment,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: this is neglect and the different standards for dads versus moms,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: because when mom leaves, have fun and relax, and when
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: dad is in charge, wow, you survived, funny how messy things? God,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: it's just the devil's standards. Crazy.
• 24:34
  Speaker 11: My husband didn't do while I was gone, Oh no,
• 24:36
  Speaker 11: I left it for four days on a trip. And
• 24:38
  Speaker 11: my husband didn't even do my daughter's hair. Hair wasn't
• 24:41
  Speaker 11: the same thing that I did myself. And my son
• 24:44
  Speaker 11: was enclosed too small for him, that weren't even his and.
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: His face was so messy he didn't even wipe his face.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: And another comment that I read said, some people accuse
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: this of being a strategy for views, but at what cost?
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And again, like I agreed, it's why why are we
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: putting videos up of our children and our shitty husbands
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: to get views? I guess it's to get views and
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: to get money, but you know, like, at what cost?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: It's going to live on the internet. People are around
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the world are going to hate your husband. You know,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: God forbid, it's in your town and they know your husband,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: and maybe that's not actually how he is. Maybe it
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: was just a show that was put on. But like
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: what and you know, like CPS could show up at
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: this point, you know what I mean, Like what do
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: you do? And then of course there's the defense video.
• 25:29
  Speaker 10: Okay, I really want to address this. There's a lot
• 25:31
  Speaker 10: of people saying that, like he neglects my kids and
• 25:34
  Speaker 10: horrible is the red flag you need to leave in.
• 25:36
  Speaker 10: I'm going to stop that right now. And I wasn't
• 25:38
  Speaker 10: going to do this, but I'm actually going to tell
• 25:40
  Speaker 10: you last week was a really really hard week for
• 25:44
  Speaker 10: my husband and I. On November sixth, it was exactly
• 25:47
  Speaker 10: one year since his fifteen year old brother died in
• 25:51
  Speaker 10: a house fire. I was really worried about him. I
• 25:54
  Speaker 10: told him just let the kids run free, don't worry
• 25:58
  Speaker 10: about getting them ready for the day or having to
• 26:00
  Speaker 10: do an activity with them or whatever.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: And he said, I'm not going to do that.
• 26:03
  Speaker 10: So he actually went bowling with his dad to kind
• 26:06
  Speaker 10: of celebrate his brother, because his brother wouldn't want him
• 26:08
  Speaker 10: to just you.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Know, mourn. So her trip did coincide with the anniversary
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: of her husband's brother's death. I have empathy for that.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: The week was emotionally charged for him and he was
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: grieving for sure. And she claims that the kids were
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: well taken care of. No, they weren't okay, because regardless
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: of grieving, you still need to take care and do
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: basic needs for a child, you know, And a comment said,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I am so sorry for your loss, truly, but in
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: the kindest way possible, this seems like damage control. I
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: also went through a very traumatic experience last year and
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: my children were still well taken care of in all aspects.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: There's just really no excuse because grief is real and
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: absolutely valid, and children still need basic care and these
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: two things can be true at once. And also the
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: original post, I'm concerned about my husband. We're going through
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: a hard time. She posted all classic dad behavior and
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: the word funny appears at her original caption. So it's
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: just like it does feel like damage control. Like I
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: do have empathy obviously for the anniversary of the death,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: but it's just like I see through you. You are
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: a window right now? What so I mean she expected
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: people to laugh and maybe it's rage bait again. Maybe
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: she just wanted views, but people expressed concern because they're
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: human and they have empathy for the children. And a
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: response was confusion that people don't agree with her, and
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: multiple other TikTokers suggested that it might be rage bait
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: like intentional controversy for views. But if so, again, you're
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: using your children's visible neglect for engagement. And if not,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: you genuinely thought this was cute content to share. I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: just I don't personally get it. Let me know what
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: you guys think. Now, maybe I'm just maybe I just
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: don't get it. I don't get the joke personally. But
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: my thumb is, if CPS could use your TikTok video
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: as evidence, maybe don't post it with a laughing emoji,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: you know. And then even a couple weeks later, she
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: posted another video with her kids, which I don't like
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: because she's using them for content and exploiting them.
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Is it permanent?
• 28:17
  Speaker 10: It is semi permanent, so for like a month, it'll
• 28:19
  Speaker 10: last depending on how many washes you do. And that
• 28:21
  Speaker 10: was for my four year old daughter. That's fun, and
• 28:23
  Speaker 10: then my three year old son and my one year
• 28:25
  Speaker 10: old baby. It was just like chalk stuff that like
• 28:28
  Speaker 10: one wash and it comes out, which is not true
• 28:30
  Speaker 10: because they had a bath and there's still some pink
• 28:33
  Speaker 10: in there, but I'm sure with the next bath it'll
• 28:35
  Speaker 10: come out.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: And a babysitter dyed their kid's hair, and she like
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: shows the texts with the babysitter, and then she says
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: to the audience that she doesn't actually know who the
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: babysitter was, like completely rage baiting the audience. So now
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: we know that she is an absolute rage baitter. And
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: she shows the kids with their hair dyed pink, and
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: she looks concerned in the video, but then in the
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: follow up video she seems fine with it, but she
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: says she still doesn't know who the babysitter was, and
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: then she posts another video saying it was her sister.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: So we're like, why didn't you just say that, And
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: it's just so obvious that she's just baiting people for
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: views and exploiting your children for views. And the comments agree.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: The comments under the last video of her saying that
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: it was the oh, it was her teenage sister all along,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: that was babysitting. It's the people said, okay, right, this
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: is fraudulent. I knew it had to be family to
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: some degree, you were far too relaxed about it. Views
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: views views just be clear from the beginning. Law. And
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: then she answered that comment and said, that's how I
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: make money for my family. So you just rage baited everyone.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: So she admitted to rage baiting people to make money
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: for her family. It's just yeah, okay, yeah, oh yeah,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: great mom, exploiting your children and making your husband look
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: bad when he seems like he probably is bad to
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: make money. Is our morals underground? The morals are underground
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: for some people. I think makes me sad, makes me sad,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Let me know what you think, though, I'm gonna move
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: on to the next one. And next up we have
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: the laundry Tantrum, where a wife filmed a husband upset
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: about laundry, and his complaint was she didn't do his
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: laundry right. But he says it in a very childish,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: stomping around the house kind of sing songy way, which
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: you know can be fine and funny or whatever, but
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: it's I don't like it.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Roll the clips in.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: The dry pie, y'all, yo. People doing my laundry right old,
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: people doing my londy right by?
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: Is my shirt in the dryer.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it's basically just a grown man stopping around
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: a bedroom, literally stomping like a child, singing a made
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: up song in a a in a sing songy voice.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: And I need you to understand that this is not
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: a parody. This is a fully grown adult man upset
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: that his wife, who did his laundry for him, put
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: one shirt in the wrong pile. So he's he's just
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: a stomping, singing red flag comments that didn't They didn't
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: like this one, saying, as several comments have said, if
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: you're not leaving him, we don't care. I'm filing for
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: divorce and I'm not even married to him. He wasn't joking.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: There's no situation in the multiverse that would have my
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: partner stomping around like a little baked bean. I don't
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: care what the context is. No way in hell. She
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: said in the og caption two that he literally woke
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: her up doing that. Loll so funny. That's I think
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: that's sarcasm. By the way, if I woke up to
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: that like I got woken up, like, it's not a joke.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: At that point, he actually was making a fuss like
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: a little toddler. That's crazy, But that video did actually,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: for once, right now, got deleted. It did get deleted,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: but it was too late because people already saw it,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: you know, and once something's on the internet, it's gonna
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: stay on the internet. Let's let's all say that in unison.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And that's just a Rinsom repeat scenario of defending you
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: know stuff. Just guess that's all a Rinsom repeating again,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: which brings me to the last and the worst one
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: in my So, this TikToker posted a video to her
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: followers and said that she hadn't spoken to her husband
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: in two weeks. Okay, like okay, maybe he was away,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: maybe he was doing something. No, they were in the
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: same house. He also blocked her on social media, why
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: you ask, because she wasn't feeling well. One day, she
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: was feeling sick and told her husband to leave her
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: alone because she wanted some space while she was feeling sick.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: But instead of you know, giving her a few hours
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: giving her the benefit of the doubt, he yelled at
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: her for asking to be left alone and then decided
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: to stop speaking to her entirely for two weeks and
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: blocked her on social media while being in the same home.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: Rolled a clip.
• 32:40
  Speaker 12: I haven't spoken to my husband in two weeks. So
• 32:42
  Speaker 12: on Halloween, I went to work. I did not eat.
• 32:44
  Speaker 12: I had patients. I worked eight hours. The kids wanted
• 32:47
  Speaker 12: to go Trick of treating, so my husband and I
• 32:50
  Speaker 12: went to his sisters house. I stayed in a car
• 32:53
  Speaker 12: because I wasn't filling what I felt nauseous. I just
• 32:55
  Speaker 12: really wasn't feeling We stayed for a little while. They
• 32:57
  Speaker 12: got back in a car. He asked me, or am
• 32:59
  Speaker 12: I okay? I said no, I'm not feeling well. I'm nauseous.
• 33:02
  Speaker 12: I did not eat. He said, okay, we're gonna get
• 33:04
  Speaker 12: something to eat. I said, I think we should get
• 33:05
  Speaker 12: Sevio right now, because that's the fastest thing. I don't
• 33:08
  Speaker 12: want no fast food. We got the Civio. We came home.
• 33:10
  Speaker 12: I was eating Sevio. It still wasn't feeling well, so
• 33:12
  Speaker 12: I came upstairs. He followed me upstairs and he said,
• 33:16
  Speaker 12: do you want me to leave you alone? And I said, yeah,
• 33:18
  Speaker 12: leave me alone because I'm not feeling well. And this
• 33:20
  Speaker 12: man said, you told your husband to leave you alone.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: You should never tell your husband.
• 33:25
  Speaker 12: Excuse me, I am not feeling well. I want you
• 33:28
  Speaker 12: to leave me alone. He said, Okay, I'm gonna leave
• 33:31
  Speaker 12: you alone. I'm gonna leave you alone. For that night,
• 33:33
  Speaker 12: I slept on a couch because I'm not fighting in
• 33:35
  Speaker 12: arguing with you. I still don't feel well.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Cool beans, So she asked, ask, being the key word
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: her followers if she was in the wrong, because she
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: seemed genuinely torn up about what to do. But honey,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: he blocked you while he was in the same house
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: as you. You're his wife that he lived with every
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: single day, that he sees every day, and that you
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: were sleeping next to. And then you think it's if
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: you think that he's not the problem, he's the problem.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: He's the asshole in this story. Okay, And the comments
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: went wild with this one. Stonewalling in any relationship isn't
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: even a red flag, It's a siren. The silent treatment
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: is a form of abandonment, emotional manipulation, and punishment. I
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: agree that is thirty seven thousand up votes. Locking the
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: bedroom door is unacceptable because he locked the bedroom door.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: By the way, I'm telling you right now, that's a
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: guilty man that was looking for a way to make
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: you the villain. One hundred and fift five thousand arts.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I kind of agree he's like looking for a way
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: It feels like looking for a way out. I'm probably
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: reading too much into it, but what do I know.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: He prob got a man low. The comments never disappoint
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I tell you what. But her follow up videos were
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: what was so concerning because I genuinely think that's horrible.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: That is absolutely a textbook definition of emotional just like kids,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: it's that's a crazy thing to do to your partner.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: But in this, in this case, I just feel bad
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: because in the defense videos, she's just she's very aware
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: that this behavior is terrible, but she treats him like
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: a child and being like I need to be the
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: one to stand my ground finally and not be the
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: one to break the ice. And it's like, oh, you
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: don't need to deal with that, You don't need to
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: deal with that.
• 35:12
  Speaker 13: Well the clip, but please you you don't know me
• 35:18
  Speaker 13: to tell me what I should have shot, and I do.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: This is my page.
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: You can squw.
• 35:25
  Speaker 13: Squaw because I could say whatever the hell I want
• 35:29
  Speaker 13: on my page.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: And he actually posted a response video to TikTok with
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: the key quote being my wife was right for all
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: you husbands, boyfriends, and significant others. Your wife is right
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: to take that bit of advice with you. I know
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: you guys want to hear my side of the story,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: and some of you want to hear me throw my
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: wife under the bus. So you know, he did admit
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: she was right, He didn't throw her under the bus,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: and he gave other men advice. So I guess we
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: have like one inkling of like growth here. May or
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: maybe it was damage control, Like why just don't air
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: your shit out on the internet. You know that's see.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like if people just like I keep saying
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: the same thing over and over, just don't do it.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Don't do it unless you're totally fine with the very
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: negative negative comments, because people love love commenting negative comments
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: on TikTok. Tell you what, because at the end of
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: the day, she asked the internet for some sort of
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: validation and for advice, and she got it overwhelmingly so,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: and she also got to see other people's reactions to
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: behaviors she normalized, and she got upset when people responded.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: So it's like one plus one, donequal three. So we've
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: seen plenty of examples. There's so many more, a lot
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: of honorable mentions. There was a guy who left coffee
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: grounds on the floor for two days and then got
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: called out about it, and he just said to the wife,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: he got it, we got it. What But then she
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: came back on the internet and said, like, it's a joke, guys,
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: It's just a joke. Okay, all right, say you know whatever.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: So all your negative people that are lean the negative comments,
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: we're not going to feed into that because we were
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: happily married, we love each other, and she doesn't hate you. Listen,
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: it was a big joke. We're just making content. We're
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: just having fun with it. We're trying to make relatable content.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: I've been together for fifteen years and I love him, so.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: We love each other.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: And then we have a woman saying her boyfriend or
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: husband or whoever didn't think to get her a Christmas
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: present until like three or two days before Christmas. And
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: then she doubles down and she's like, guys, it's not
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: that serious. It's not that it's funny. It's supposed to
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: be funny. No, it's not. It's not funny, Jessica. These
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: aren't real names, by the way, So yeah, there's plenty
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: of examples of this on the internet, so it begs
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: the question why do people post this, and more importantly,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: why do they defend it after they poast it.
• 37:49
  Speaker 14: You need to understand something when you see the videos
• 37:51
  Speaker 14: of the women with the really shitty partners, and they
• 37:53
  Speaker 14: post the videos and then they get mad at the comments, right,
• 37:55
  Speaker 14: and they defend the man and they're like, you don't
• 37:56
  Speaker 14: even know my relationship, you don't even know him. Why
• 37:58
  Speaker 14: are you saying all these things but you don't understand
• 38:00
  Speaker 14: about them? Is there's a cultural difference between that woman
• 38:03
  Speaker 14: and you. That woman comes from a culture where they
• 38:06
  Speaker 14: complain about the men, and then all of the other girls,
• 38:08
  Speaker 14: all the other ladies, are like, aha, yeah, like aren't
• 38:11
  Speaker 14: they so stupid and annoying and gross?
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Ha ha ha ha.
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: And that's it.
• 38:14
  Speaker 8: When you're in a bad marriage, you will go to
• 38:17
  Speaker 8: great lengths to cover it up and kind of hide
• 38:25
  Speaker 8: the worst part of your partner from the public.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: So I have my theories. I have my theories as
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: to why people do this, and I think it has
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: to be one of these, one of these in all
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: these scenarios, first one being just cognitive dissonance, which, for
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: those of you who don't know, is the discomfort of
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: holding two conflicting beliefs, like my partner is a good
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: person versus my partner just did something bad, And the
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: resolution is reframe the bad thing as not actually bad,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: like it's just a joke. You don't understand our humor,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: you know, you need context, because it's easier to convince
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: yourself that thirty million people are wrong than to consider
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: that you might be in a bad situation. And theory
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: two is the sunk cost fallacy. Okay, like I've invested
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: X amount of years in this relationship, so I can't
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: just give it up, where admitting that the behavior is
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: bad equals admitting you've been accepting bad behavior. So it's
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: like bad if you accept it. So that's why you
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: get defensive because that's a hard pill to swallow, especially
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: if you are in an emotionally relationship. It's hard to
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: even see that. So it's easier to defend than it
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: is to reconsider. And theory three is that it's just
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: not that deep and it's just content, which is the
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: most cynical view for sure, but I feel like it
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: is prominent in these types of videos, and that they're
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: doing what they're doing for content and views and money
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: and engagement.
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: Or whatever.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Controversy equals engagement equals modetization, you know, because the original
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: video goes viral, the defense video goes more viral. It's
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: just a content strategy. And there's theory four, which is audience mismatch,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: and that's just that people post expecting their existing followers
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: to relate. They're just posting relatable content in the video
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: then hits the broader internet and their followers are like,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I don't get it. This seems horrible, and your husband
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: is a walking red flag. I don't understand. You need
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: to divorce them. And so it's literally just a mismatch
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: in algorithm, I guess, or it's just a wake up call,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: if you will. And the last theory, theory five is normalization.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: They genuinely don't see it as bad because they've been
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: surrounded by similar relationships and their friends laugh at this stuff,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: and this is just how relationships are, not how they
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: should be, but just how they are. And that's just
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: a whole other thing that's just sad. And yeah, it's
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: got to be hard to see in the moment if
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: they're not doing it for clout or for you know,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: exploitation and all that, it's just kind of like, Ah,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: most of these comments, these negative comments, are just concerned
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: because of that specific thing. It's just like, no, honey,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: that's not normal. You deserve better. But in every single case,
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: the woman controls the narrative. She filmed, she posted, and
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: she framed, and then the woman's surprised by the reaction,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: and the defense includes some version of you don't understand.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: The behavior is reframed as normal or funny or relatable
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: or lighthearted, but.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: It's just not.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: And I want to be so clear when I say
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not shaming these women necessarily, I have my own
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: feelings about you know, posting children and rage baiting on
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: all that. I don't think that's right. But I also
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: don't know what scenario or what these women's lives are
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: actually like. It's the same as the men. I don't
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: know exactly. We're seeing them for two minutes. You know,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: this is just supposed to be commentary on I genuinely
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: just want to know what you guys think, because I've
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: been rage baited. You know, I've been pulled in. I
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: have got the hook. It's on me, and I'm coming
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: in to be eaten at the campfire. You know what
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, but at the end of the day, everyone
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: has a camera, everyone has as an audience and relationship.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Moments that used to be private can now just be content.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: So it's hard to decipher what's what. And it seems
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: controversial content gets pushed and the more people that argue
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: in the comments, the more the video spreads. And honestly,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have to log off more and
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: more now because that's that's all I see. And yeah,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: it's probably because I go digging for it sometimes late
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: at night when I can't sleep. Okay, so that's probably
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: on me, but I don't know. I find that the
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: negativity is spread so much I just I can't watch
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: it anymore, so much so that I'm making a bloody
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: video about it, which I'm maybe I'm just adding to
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: the chaos, which maybe, but at the same time, I'm
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: just kinda we're just kind of talking about it, and
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I think it's good to talk about it's good to
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: be aware of these things, and it's recognizable enough to
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: be parodied. You know, it's become a trope at this point.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: We all know what husband does bare minimum and wife
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: films it. Content looks like, so.
• 42:56
  Speaker 15: The entire internet is pissed off because my husband wasn't
• 43:00
  Speaker 15: at the hospital when I gave birth to our daughter.
• 43:02
  Speaker 15: If you guys seen your research, you would know that
• 43:04
  Speaker 15: this is our second child and he was at the
• 43:06
  Speaker 15: birth of our daughter. He doesn't need to be attached
• 43:08
  Speaker 15: to my hip twenty four to seven.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: But again, full disclaimers. We don't know these people's full relationships.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: A two minute video isn't a complete picture. And I'm
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: not telling anyone to leave their partner, you know, And
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not telling anyone to go and spread the negativity.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: Please don't do that, okay, But if you post the
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: video and you frame it as content, you can't be
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: surprised when people have opinions because you showed us the
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: evidence and we're just the jury.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: Honey.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: You called us, all right, you called us on speed dial.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: You know what that is. You're probably too young, but
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: that's just the deal. When you post, and as a
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: content creator, you don't get to curate the reaction of
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: thirty million people. I'm sure some people won't like this video,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: and I just have to be okay with that, and
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. It's whatever. People are allowed to
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: interpret something the way they want. That's just how life works,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: you know. But in hindsight, I made this video so
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: people watching this and maybe in these situations can be like, huh,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are concerned about this. Maybe maybe
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I should think about that, you know, instead of you
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: don't understand my husband's humor. It's like, maybe there are
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: red flags that I'm not seeing. But maybe the real
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: takeaway is that some things should maybe just stay off
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: the internet. Basically, not everything needs to be content, and
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: if you do post it, don't be surprised when people
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: believe what you showed them. But again, now I've just
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: made a video about other people's videos about relationships, So
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: maybe I'm not the one to talk you know, subscribe
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: for more content about content, Okay, that's no. But for real,
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: I think this is good to talk about because it
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: just brings a specter, you know, at least it does
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: for me. And this channel is completely self serving for me.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I just post what I want and I kind of
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: talked through this is kind of a therapy session for me. Honestly,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: hopefully it was for you a little bit to let
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: me know what you guys think about all this stuff
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: in the comments. I'm very curious, but yeah, I hope
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: everybody in these videos that I just showed is okay, genuinely,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and I hope everybody at home is okay too. I
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: really appreciate that you're here. But I also hope that
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: if anyone watching this recognize their own situation in any
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: of these stories, you know that you deserve better, because
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: you do, because you're very important and you're beautiful and
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: I love you, okay, and I appreciate you, and I
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: just want you to be good and to be safe,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: and yeah, that's about it. That's about it though. Yeah,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: I'll see you in the next one.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Bye.