Latest / Harder Than Life / Drugs. Jail. Trauma. Now She's At 8 Figures | Elisabeth Carson

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Drugs. Jail. Trauma. Now She's At 8 Figures | Elisabeth Carson · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
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• 0:30
  You will always pick familiar pain over unfamiliar gain every single time until you learn that that's your pattern. Why did the lesson keep repeating? Because I had no self-esteem. So I kept putting myself in really horrible situations. So if you lived in chaos, then you received love as chaos. And I was looking around like my life is so messed up. And so I got a moment of space of consciousness where I looked around and I'm like, this isn't
• 0:55
  how I'm supposed to be living, it travels down generationally until you stop it. You know, you have to be that generational curse breaker to be able to stop the abuse and stop the unconsciousness and stop the chaos. I was one of those that actually made money. I used it, I weaponized that. Why am I still feeling like crap?
• 1:16
  I would say grief. Anger is the most dangerous thing that shows, but really underneath anger is grief. So anger is a much easier emotion to experience. If you heal your grief, you will not be so angry. My guest today went from addiction, abuse, and surviving on the streets to scaling a company past eight figures and reaching more than 11 million people. She's going to show you why the thing capping your growth is not your strategy. It is your nervous system. Stay with me. This is Elizabeth Carson.
• 1:50
  Elizabeth Carson, thanks for being here. You just said something before we hit record, which was Detroit made you. So my first question is you went from surviving the streets on Detroit to scaling a company past eight figures. What was the exact moment that everything changed?
• 2:07
  You know what? There was many moments where things changed. It was like many moments of that moment where you kind of like awaken to what is really going on. I mean, I think I had my first one. I was 14 and I had just got kicked out of the apartment where I was living at. And I had moved out of my parents' house at the time and I was living with my high school sweetheart and his dad.
• 2:28
  father who was addicted to drugs so it was just a crazy situation at 14 and i ended up getting kicked out of that apartment and i was sitting outside in the rain as my stuff was being thrown out on the ground and i was looking around like my life is so messed up and so i got a moment of space of consciousness where i looked around and i'm like this isn't
• 2:47
  how I'm supposed to be living. But it's like, boom, I went right back into unconsciousness. And then I had it again at 19. I had just gotten done taking a bunch of drugs. I mean, my brain was incredibly inflamed. And I always prided myself off of being very smart. And I couldn't even complete sentences at this point in my life because I did so many drugs. And...
• 3:08
  So I experienced neural feedback for the first time. Five days in a row, I did neural feedback, and that completely shifted me. I mean, it gave me contrast. I had never felt like this before. It was like, you know, humans, we get used to living in detriment, like, and living in, like, lack, right? Because we're very adaptive creatures. So if your norm is here,
• 3:31
  And you get stress, stress, stress, stress, and now you're living down here. This will become your norm. So until you create that contrast to know whether, oh, I'm feeling bad, you'll never know you're feeling bad because you've adapted there. So when I did neurofeedback, it was like, whoa, I finally got space between stimulus and response. I could think clear. I could act clear. I could create...
• 3:52
  intentional actions. So I was like, this is different. But I ended up going back into my old environment. So my, you know, neuroplasticity pruned away. And I just kind of fell back into the crazy lifestyle. And I had another one of these moments that at 26, after I had my son, you know, my son's dad, we had to turn him into prison. And when he walked away from my baby, my newborn baby in cuffs,
• 4:20
  It was like, that's when I really was like, this is not how I want to live. Like, I'm empty. My life is empty because I'm empty. So how can I fill it up? And because I experienced neurofeedback at 19, I knew there was something out there that could make me feel better. So I went to research. What is neurofeedback?
• 4:37
  Neural feedback is basically like, it balances your brain. So it's basically like putting a mirror up to your brain. So if you are unaware that you have an issue, you can't fix it. So what neural feedback does is it puts a mirror up to your brain like, hey, there's these patterns, you should fix it. And boom, boom, boom, it starts fixing it in real time. So the device that I use is 33 minutes of music and you hear skips, pauses, and interrupts. And that is basically your brain talking to itself.
• 5:04
  So you put electrodes on your head and your ears, and it reads. It doesn't give you frequency, but it reads the frequency coming out of your head. And then it goes through music and it creates skips, pauses, and interrupts. And that's your brain. Why do people stay stuck then? You were 14, 19, 26. And when do you think you actually made that flip? And what was the final straw? Like for me, I just didn't want to. I was sitting on the beach in Key West.
• 5:32
  I just didn't want to live this way. I hated the man in the mirror. I did the neurofeedback. It was me, Kelly Siegel, looking, going, dude, enough is enough. And it wasn't until I was 43. So I missed out on many, many years. So what could the people who are driving on the road, listening to us right now, what could they do to hasten that? Because what I'm seeing everyone do, deny, deny, deny. And it drives me nuts. Like, you don't see...
• 6:01
  The pattern in your life where you're creating the exact environment that you're trying to avoid, it's maddening to me, Elizabeth. Yeah. Well, you know what I would say to that, Kelly? It's like...
• 6:13
  You got to let people be who they are on the journey that they're on disconnected and allow them to have their unconsciousness because I don't actually feel like it's everybody's duty in this life to become conscious and intentional with their lives. I mean, some people I feel are here as walking avatars, like walking zombies, walking reactions. And honestly, it's not their.
• 6:34
  journey to become conscious and intentional. And, you know, you got to have those people because like this is a very dynamic world. That's what makes us very interesting. So if everything was the same, then we wouldn't know that there's unconsciousness, right? So, I mean, you have the people there that are literally the walking reactions, the zombies that I feel need to fill up the space here, kind of. It's like, you know, they're empty avatars in my mind. So it's not for...
• 6:58
  I mean, you can't change anybody. So it's for us to change ourselves that find this awareness and to inspire the change in others. And if we can't change the others, that's okay. We got to disconnect from that. That's not our duty. You know what I'm saying? Teach me. Teach me. Teach me.
• 7:13
  I really think that it's people's unwillingness to dive into their own darkness and fear that drives them away. And I understand it. Like, who wants to go within the dark parts of themselves and, like, dig it all up? And, like, that black, sticky, ooey-gooey, disgusting, you know, ness within all of us, it's very hard to look at, you know? So it takes a very strong person to be able to...
• 7:36
  go through their stuff and to create integrity about themselves and to align, you know? So what I try to do is I try to show up every single day, every single moment as the person I speak as I am. So how do I have to do that? Well, I have to do a ton of self-care. I got to get good sleep. I got to eat healthy. I got to go to the gym. I have to do so many different things to show up in the way that I say that I am, which is a very conscious, brilliant, wise, and aware, aligned woman with God.
• 8:04
  So it's like, what do people out there have to do to create that space in their lives so that they're not being ran by emotions and triggers? Because the minute that you're ran by your emotion and triggers, you're living other people's lives. You're not living your own authentic life. You're just reacting to somebody else's life. You're reacting to external stimulus, which isn't even, you know, real. Now they found through quantum physics, everything externally exists as pure potential. It's not even...
• 8:29
  solid until we observe it and then boom it collapses into this third dimension so it's like we are creating our reality through observance of it so how are you observing your reality through a lens of love or through a lens of fear is my question
• 8:42
  Ladies and gentlemen, Elizabeth Carson is off to the races. I want to speak again to the guy or girl who's driving down the road going, whoa. And she or he is in the mud, in the mess. Think of a time where you were in that mud. Maybe it was at 14, 19 or 26. What did you do?
• 9:06
  to interrupt that pattern and then was it immediately describe how painful it got and then what, what was it worth it?
• 9:14
  So I'll go to a point in my life where I was completely broken because so many people get to these points. I call it the no hope place where you literally feel like there's nothing else. You know, when you're in those places, you just have to remind yourself that everything is ebb and flow. So it's not, it's not, you're not going to be there forever. Right. It's like, it's just this too shall pass. When I was going through my very rough year last year through the divorce, I
• 9:42
  It was like I kept mantras in my head. So anytime I would get a hit of fear, I would say fear to faith. I'm moving from fear to faith. I'm moving from fear to faith. I'm moving from fear to faith. This is not fear. You know, I'm just I would keep repeating that until I actually felt that in my body. And then another one I would say is, you know, this too shall pass because everything is like this. And the.
• 10:04
  The lower that you can go within the dark spots of your life, like the no hope places, if you can really dive into those places instead of distract yourself with alcohol, drugs, partying, another partner, whatever it is that you're using to distract yourself, if you can literally sit with that pain...
• 10:22
  go inside of it. So what I do is I literally go inside of my body. I find where the pain aches the most and I go into it and I allow myself to feel that pain. Let's say you feel it in your solar plexus. I literally go into that pain, like embody that pain.
• 10:38
  talk to my body as the awareness, right? Because we're not our thoughts. We are the awareness behind our thoughts. So I, I hold space for the thought me because thought me is that pain. So thought me is freaking out. You know, the thoughts are like, Oh my God, like everything is fucked. Like everything is just, it's terrible. And it's like, you're literally spinning out.
• 10:57
  But you have to become that awareness. Allow your thought body to freak out because it needs to process what's going on. Plus, if you're telling your body, you know, you don't deserve to feel like this. You're literally going against yourself. So allow and hold space for your body to feel that brokenness.
• 11:13
  And then in turn, you're not going to carry that with you. A lot of people, if they go through a really bad breakup, they'll jump right into another relationship because then they can avoid the pain. But if you do that and you continue to do that, you're never going to attract a different partner. You're going to continue to attract the same body, the same consciousness in a different skin suit. You're never going to grow and change because you haven't left the energy that created the dismantling of your last one. So you're just going to keep repeating these patterns. You have to
• 11:43
  Take time, space for yourself to feel, to process, to become self-aware. Go over what it was that broke you in the first place and try not to recreate that again. A lot of people just distract themselves and then they're unconsciously recreating the toxicity in their life over and over and over again. And it will continue to show up until you change your energy, until you change your actions. And how do you do that? You have to create awareness about it.
• 12:08
  You can't blame everybody else. The minute that you blame everybody else, you release your power to everybody else. So it's like, you know, the people that want to sit in victim mentality, like, oh, it's all their fault. Oh, my God, the president did this to me. It's like, you're creating your reality. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you believe that, then you're releasing your power to those people. You're saying you don't have any power to create what you want for your life. So I didn't do that, you know? After last year, I was like, where did I create this mess?
• 12:37
  How did I put my energy into this mess? What did I embody to allow this to happen to me? Because I never am going to go through something like that again. So you have to do it. You have to dive into the dark parts of yourself. I had to look at myself like, ooh, that was bad.
• 12:53
  Well, you don't have to because most don't. Most won't. And that's what I just let you go on that rant for because it was beautiful. And you are my sister from another mister. And you can tell that you've done the work and you've been to Detroit because Detroit will – it'll taint you. But sitting in your shit, healing in the feeling –
• 13:15
  And doing nothing. Oh, healing in the feeling. Oh, I like that one. I went on this. My ceiling in life, in business, was my healing. You want to go to the next stratosphere, which is what you're all about. Yeah.
• 13:30
  Heal what's going on in your mind. Yeah. And people, it keeps showing up. And I'm going to keep ranting and raving and everything she said. Replay that. Because it's just going to keep... What you don't repair repeats. Yeah. Let's go deeper into that, Elizabeth, because you've got some stories. What's something you survived that you never fully talked about on a show? Give me the good stuff because I want people to understand it's not been all rainbows and unicorns. And then I do want you to come back to the... You didn't answer this one, which was...
• 14:00
  Was it worth it? Because I know I've been through it. I had a panic attack a month ago or two weeks ago. Crying on the floor. Going through it. Working on some massive childhood trauma that I didn't know I had. Yeah. And I'm going to say, my thing? I don't know if I could do it again. So give us one more. Something you survived. Can be recent. Could be older. That you never really talk about. The one thing that really is really deep.
• 14:29
  I mean, I would probably have to say going, like doing this work. Like you said that you didn't even know you had some trauma that you had, right? So as you go throughout your life, I believe that your higher self will not allow you to remember some of the things that will completely wreck you in the moment. So you will repress memories from a very young age and you won't even know it's there. And then someday, boom, it'll just pop in and you'll be like, what?
• 14:56
  Whoa, where did that come from? Watch the patterns. Watch the patterns. Yes, yes. So, I mean, I realized in doing this shadow work that I was actually abused at an age where I couldn't even talk yet. So I was like, wow, that happened a lot earlier than what I thought it did. But I couldn't even, I didn't know words yet to really understand. So, I mean, that was kind of like a wake-up call for me. It was like...
• 15:22
  Whoa, it happened way younger. So, I mean, I just know out of everything that I read and research, unfortunately, I mean, three out of four women get some sort of, you know, they have some sort of sexual abuse in their lifetimes. And I think it's two out of three boys. I don't know. The numbers are ridiculous.
• 15:41
  And so, you know, it just it makes me kind of see how broken we all still are, because the minute that you can become self-aware, do the hard work and heal yourself, you'll not carry around that generational trauma into the next and the next and the next because of our brokenness as a society.
• 16:02
  We abuse the ones coming up, becoming the next ones to run the world. And then they abuse, right? So it just, it travels down generationally until you stop it. You know, you have to be that generational curse breaker.
• 16:17
  to be able to stop the abuse and stop the unconsciousness and stop the chaos. Because the unfortunate thing is, is that we get programmed from fetus to seven. And a lot of us have not had the most merry childhoods. And even if you have, you still have trauma. And you know, you're learning how to interact in the world. Your personality is being created at that time. So if you lived in chaos, then you receive love as chaos. So you will continue to unconsciously and subconsciously look
• 16:46
  for chaos and keep creating that in your life because that is how you learn to receive love. You will always pick familiar pain over unfamiliar gain every single time until you learn that that's your pattern. And how do you do that? You got to trace back all the way to the depths of yourself to be able to uncover and discover the dark parts of yourself.
• 17:07
  And so for me, when I discovered that about myself, it just made me understand myself that much better. I'm like, oh, this is why I feel kind of weird when people are like touching, you know? I was like, I could put two and two together. And I was like, then I would go back and heal myself from that moment and hold myself, you know, as that three-year-old. Like, I'm gonna hold myself. And I'm gonna say, you know, I got you. Like, you're okay. I'm gonna hold you through this whole thing. So what you're doing is you're kind of separating yourself
• 17:35
  You know, you're helping your younger self to process going through these moments of destruction, you know, of terrible feelings. You're giving yourself what you needed back then. And when you're doing that, you're releasing some of that energy that has been stuck for years that you didn't even know was there. And once you do that, it's like, whoa, it's literally like your life will start opening up because it's like we have a cup, right? We have a cup of energy every day. It's full. So if we have unresolved trauma...
• 18:04
  We're pouring a little bit of that cup out. So now 25% of that energy is gone because it's dealing with our unresolved trauma. If we have autoimmune disease, another 25% is out. So now we only have 50% energy to work through the day, right? If you got bad sleep, 40%. If you got in a fight with your partner, 30%. Now you're walking around in detriment, you know, in lack all day. So if you start to work on some of the unconscious parts of yourself to free up that energy, then it will show up in your life in ways that you can never expect.
• 18:33
  You went there and I'm going to ask this question and you can not answer it. We can edit it out, whatever you want. You said three or four women are sexually abused. Did that happen to you? Oh, yeah. Many times. So then how did that lead into your trauma? Because that would be something that's just awful.
• 18:54
  Yeah, well, you know what? So many women, and this is why I feel too, that women, you know, we're kind of afraid of our power. Our voices have been taken. We've been suppressed for years and years and years. And then if you experience that, it's like now...
• 19:09
  your brain is being wired in a way to think that you need to give your body away to receive love. Or it can, you know, there's so many different ways that this can affect a woman. I mean, it can make a woman very promiscuous because that is how she finds love. And, you know, that's the only way she feels like she receives love is by giving her body away. It can make a woman very closed off and afraid. I've seen it actually make a woman...
• 19:37
  be with women instead. Like a straight woman, it turned her gay. You know what I'm saying? So, I mean, there's so many different ways that this can wire in your brain, but it's all backwards. You know, it's like, and unfortunately, it causes so many different
• 19:52
  hiccups in relationships you know because women haven't worked on their their stuff men haven't worked on their stuff so it's like you know all of their stuff is at the surface and really what happens in my opinion is that people kind of get stuck at the age where the trauma happened the big trauma happened so they're very immature and so anytime you know they get triggered or they they they feel uh
• 20:16
  like a feeling that relates to that moment of extreme trauma, that little boy or little girl will come forward. And that's who will be acting out. It's not you as the adult. It's literally the child. So you're walking around as a child, you know, when you're triggered until you start working on those things.
• 20:34
  And it's like you have to do that because if you don't, that's when you get murderers. That's when you get people, you know, beating each other up in relationships. That's when you get abuse because people can't control their emotions. You said it happened many times. Why did the lesson keep repeating? Because I had no self-esteem. So I kept putting myself in really horrible situations. I mean, I was like 13, 14 going to college parties. Like, what was I doing? I was 13, 14. I was driving at 11. What was I doing? I was driving at 11.
• 21:04
  I want you to notice something, the audience. Look how self-aware she is. I asked her a tough, tough question, and you are...
• 21:15
  You've done the work and I'm proud of you. I'm sitting over here triggered like crazy because I have a daughter and I have poured into her and poured into her and I couldn't imagine. And thank you for being courageous and saying that because somebody's listening to this that needed to hear that. We've all gone through awful things. I could never imagine that. I don't know why it upsets me. I am anti-domestic violence. I am anti-men versus, I just, you wanna set me off.
• 21:45
  That is one of them. Probably because I have a daughter. But I've always been, I love women. Well, you seem like a very masculine man, like very comfortable in your masculine energy. And the masculine, if you are very comfortable in that, then the feminine will never make you feel weird. Like you only want to revere and honor the feminine. So I can see that in you. So that's why that triggers you. You guys create life. Yeah.
• 22:07
  I'm just glad you're here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing this. And so I want to connect the dots. Stripper, jail, pastry chef, real estate agent, president of a mental health facility. What connects all of these versions of you? What is it? Is it that trauma? Yeah, I would have to say it's probably a trauma. I mean, of course, you know, I was very smart always. So I had, you know, opportunity to go to college. And instead, I was like, let me just, you know, I'm not going to be a stripper. What? Like,
• 22:36
  I'm not going to college. Strippers in Detroit made a lot of money back in the day. No, I used to get paid to show up. You know, you know, cheetahs on eight miles. You know, I grew up on eight miles. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. I was up in there. They used to pay me every night to show up and I would get my tips and I would get paid to show up. So I was there and then, you know, I kind of I stopped like working, like stripping. And I started traveling the country actually doing like those those contests. And I used to win every single contest because I can do some crazy stuff.
• 23:05
  So instead of like dancing, you know, for a whole night, I would just travel around. I went to Atlanta, Strokers and the Rolex on the east side of Detroit. I was all over the place winning these contests for a while. And then, you know, I followed my dream of being a model and an actress and
• 23:20
  So I went to Hollywood and, you know, I ended up on music videos and magazines and TV shows and movies and it was awesome and fun. But I also had this, you know, kind of silent drug life because it was Hollywood. I mean, cocaine out there is like a drink of water. So it's like you want to bump, you want some water, same thing. So it was a lot of drugs, a lot, a lot of drugs out there. And I fell into...
• 23:42
  You know, I've kind of always hustled. I started to sell weed at 14, seriously. I was trying to sell bags of sage at 12. But at 14, I really learned how to sell weed because at the apartment where I was living, a couple doors down, there were guys that sold weed. So they put me on, they showed me how to do the game. So I learned. So I've always been, I had always been hustling and, you know, trying to get money that way. So I met some guys and they introduced me to a new hustle. And this hustle was very lucrative. And I did this for a couple of years
• 24:12
  And, you know, I was making like eight to 10 grand a day. And I knew at that point that I was going to get caught. Selling weed? No, credit card fraud. Oh. Yeah. So I was like, this is too good. Like when it gets this good, I got to stop. So my plan was to stop in a couple of days and then move. Like completely stop and then move. I was just going to do this one big run and then be done. I was going to go up to the top of Michigan to Traverse City and come all the way down and hit all the stores on the way up, hit all the stores on the way down. That was the plan.
• 24:42
  So hit all the stories on the way up, made a bunch of money, vacationed for a little bit, came and hit the same ones on the way down. That was my mistake. Oops. So they were looking for me. So, you know, it was like movies. You're kind of hard to spot. Look. Like, oh, no. So it was really crazy. It was like the movies. So the lady was trying to hold me at the register. And I didn't know it because I was so confident at the time. So I was just talking to her.
• 25:08
  And at the end, I was like, oh, crap. She's probably trying to hold me. So as I was walking out the door, it was like these bum rush cops. It was like the movies. I was like, oh, no. I was like, oh, shit. Oops, this is bad. So anyways, long story short, I ended up getting locked up and being there for a little while, fighting my case because my bond was $250,000 cash only because I was in Saginaw and I was from Detroit. So they called me a flight risk.
• 25:34
  So they raised my bond crazy so I didn't get out for a while. And, yeah, it was a really crazy time in my life. I tried to make the best out of it, you know. I was trying to make fun. I was, like, hosting workouts and stuff in jail. It was a whole thing. You literally turn water into wine. Or somebody gives you lemons. You make lemonade. That's remarkable. That's remarkable.
• 26:00
  Let's talk about the hot topic and all over social media now is this nervous system regulation. Yeah. I literally just said before we hit record that you have a temperature setting in your head and you'll never exceed that temperature setting. And it's usually some sort of trauma that hasn't been resolved. And you'll never exceed that. Not in business. Not in life. Never, ever, ever. And you have to look at it. So what does a dysregulated nervous system actually cost an entrepreneur?
• 26:30
  Oh, my God. Everything. Everything. So when you're dysregulated, if you're in fight, flight, freeze, fawn, then, you know, a portion of your blood flow from your prefrontal cortex goes into your hindbrain. Your prefrontal cortex is responsible for everything logic, everything planning, everything empathy, everything.
• 26:47
  Just here now, right? So this is your consciousness here. So if you lose that because blood is rushing to your hindbrain, now you're losing your conscious thought. You can't make logical decisions. You're literally in your hindbrain making your emotional decisions. So you're not, as an entrepreneur, you could lose everything in a day because you make a bad decision off emotion and you can't stop yourself.
• 27:08
  This is the trigger that people, everybody talk. You triggered me. You triggered me. So somebody says something that you turn into your five-year-old self and then you retaliate and you make a bad decision. That's what you just said, right? Yes. Yes. Well, even further than that, I feel like after the pandemic, so many of us never got back to baseline. So we're literally walking around in fight or flight, not even knowing that we are. That is why you see more people fighting more crazy actions because people are never regulated.
• 27:37
  So when you are regulated and your nervous system is parasympathetic, that's rest and digest. That's when your body heals. That's when your blood flow is perfect throughout your whole body, right? When you go into fight or flight, your blood flow leaves your gut. It leaves your prefrontal cortex. It goes to your extremities. You're taken off running. You're like on. You're hopped up, right?
• 27:55
  to get away from the lion that's chasing you. This is what our bodies did back in the day to protect us. But yet nowadays, it's like this reaction, if we can't bring our bodies out of this reaction, that's why I believe autoimmune disease is up, diabetes is up, heart attacks, strokes. Why? Because when your nervous system is dysregulated,
• 28:13
  you have stress hormones like running through your body, cortisol, adrenaline. And if you continuously have that, that's creating inflammation, dis-ease within your system that will eventually lead to disease. So, I mean, so many people are walking around sick. They're walking around angry, not even knowing that they're angry and reactive. Yeah.
• 28:32
  because they never regulated themselves. So it's like, you know, I'll advise people, the most simple way to regulate your nervous system is to connect your bare hands, bare feet to the earth's surface. There is an abundance of negative ions. This is not like ground yourself, like, oh my, like you're trying to ground your energy. This is actually scientific, which they have proved through over 35 case studies at this point, that when you connect your hands and your feet to the earth's surface bare, then those negative ions get sucked up into your body. It's
• 29:01
  impossible to be chronically inflamed when you're grounded. And also every single cell in your body needs electrons to function properly. So if you're hopped up and you have adrenaline and stress and cortisol running through your body, when you ground, you can literally feel that dissipate and like the ground sucking that stress out of your body. And it helps with pain, inflammation. I mean, I would challenge people to do that every day. Is it fair to say that if you haven't done massive...
• 29:29
  work on yourself, massive therapy that is painful, that you're probably running around with some disease? Because most people grew up with some trauma. Almost everybody has something. It could be that when you cried, your mom or dad didn't pick you up. Yeah, yeah. It could be something. Is it fair to say that if you've done very little or you're listening to podcasts and maybe journaling and maybe you talk to a talk therapist, that there's probably a pretty good idea that you have some –
• 29:57
  some nervous dysregulation going on. Yeah, yeah. I would say that tons, tons of people have nervous system dysregulation. We were never taught how to take care of ourselves. Dude, I'm just coming through this, that's why I asked that question. Like, at all. Literally right now. I used to walk in my office, and I was one of those ones that actually made money despite of it. I used it, I weaponized that.
• 30:21
  All that fear and shame and I turned it, I'll show you. And then I made a lot of money and I was like, why am I still feeling like crap? Yeah. And it was like, ooh, I just looked at the patterns. Everything you just said from the very beginning. What is the most dangerous emotion for an entrepreneur and why? I would say grief because you cover up grief with anger.
• 30:47
  And anger is the most dangerous thing that shows, but really underneath anger is grief. You know, you have like a little soup bowl of grief because this anger is an easier emotion to feel. So a lot of the very strong people that are out here, powerful, like business people showing up in the world, you know, they'll, it's weak, right? It's weak to show grief and sadness. So they'll rather show the anger.
• 31:10
  And so anger is a much easier emotion to experience. So I think that that is really – that's really – if you heal your grief, you will not be so angry. You just broke that down so easily. You just described me. That's literally – I used to run around my office slamming doors. And when I was –
• 31:25
  what I was grieving is that little boy who, who was told he wasn't good enough. Yeah. And every time that, that we couldn't accomplish something, I would hear I'm not good enough. And so I would push harder. And, and even though God didn't want me to go down that path, I would still go down that path. And then I would get what I wanted and be like,
• 31:44
  I don't feel anything. And then God would punish me or whatever. It may be God. It would just, then it would be like, oh, this is why I didn't want you. Then I'd find out why I wasn't supposed to go down that path. And I was like, oh yeah. And then if somebody is feeling grief, if Karen or Mike, who are listening to this right now is feeling grief and they're getting angry at work, they don't have access to grounding. What's something that you recommend that you teach people that they can do to, to try to bring them back to center as fast as possible.
• 32:14
  So this happened to me a lot because I've been in many industries. And when I was a chef, it was so crazy because it's such a high, like abusive, crazy environment. I mean, people are screaming all the time, throwing things at you. So anyways, I would get triggered a lot. So I would excuse myself from the moment. I would go to the bathroom and I would use EFT, emotional freedom technique tapping. And it's so easy. It takes like literally a couple minutes, but you tap on certain energetic points in your body.
• 32:41
  So if you're not watching this on YouTube, she's tapping her head, her forehead. Yes. So you tap. These are specific points. They're specific meridians that hit different energetic points in your body. So you're really tapping. So you're tapping in affirmations. So you're saying what's going on, right? So let's say you're irritated at work. All right. My boss just got on me and I just, I understand my boss is so mad. And it really angered me how my boss reacted to me. But, you know, my name is Elizabeth Carson and I know that I'm a badass. So I'm going to keep on going to work. Go, girl. And I'm like...
• 33:09
  You know, I completely love and accept myself. Even though my boss got really, really angry with me, I still completely love and accept myself. So it's really talking about the situation while tapping on these points and then shifting that into still appreciating and loving yourself and then pouring in those affirmations so your body...
• 33:27
  First of all, the tapping on those specific points will calm the nervous system. You're using affirmations. So you're using like as you're tapping, what's happening, your nervous system is calming down. Your brain waves are going from probably high beta into a more calm beta alpha. And so you're literally becoming and going into flow state.
• 33:46
  while mixing in physical body and words, cymatics, and vibrations to be able to embody that new feeling. And you can do this literally within three minutes and feel better. And you can also work on childhood trauma with this method at home if you want to. But honestly. Tap on your face. That's what we do. Seriously. I just take it. I literally take a sacred pause. Three seconds. Yeah.
• 34:10
  Is this true what's happening? Yeah, yeah. And almost 100% of the time it's not. Yeah. Like what I'm feeling is not actually happening. Right. You scale the brand from 3 million to more than 11 million people. What did you see that most operators miss?
• 34:27
  I think that I just, I see where people are missing, like where the blind spots are. So I'm able to create like a roadmap, like a perfect puzzle to be able to get people to where they need to go. And I think that's just from experiencing so many different careers, so many different lives, so many different healing modalities, reading so many books and just having so much life experience that I'm kind of able to see where people are missing and then just kind of place the pieces so that the things can be accomplished.
• 34:55
  What's a common blind spot that you see more often than not? Okay. A lot of entrepreneurs, especially men, you guys were like... You smirked. I was like, you were going to say it to me. No, you guys, it's so funny because it's such a man thing. I really don't feel like women... I mean, some women, yes, but it's like you guys think that you could do everything alone. And it's like you never...
• 35:19
  just allow and outsource some of the things that, you know, like that's the first thing I see when I work with men. It's like, you need to outsource some of these things that are bringing you down, but you think you are the man, that you're gonna do all of it, da da da. But you have to see that if you can, you know, allow and release some of that power, then you can build even further up, you know? You can get more energy to keep on going with your vision instead of like the day to day. So I see a lot of that with guys, it's like,
• 35:46
  Well, I'm going to, I'll explain to you, you're dead on. And that was because I didn't have a family that I could rely on. My parents both beat me. So I didn't, I grew up only me. Yeah. I could only, so I didn't trust anybody or even myself.
• 36:05
  So I'd isolate. Yeah. And I think that happens to a lot of us. A lot. And, you know, I am learning right now to trust, to delegate, elevate, and just delegate and walk away. Yeah. And say, guys, I'll see you when we're supposed to have this done. And it's uncomfortable. But it's how you started this thing. Sit in that uncomfortable. What I sit there and see is it tells me I'm lazy. You know, my stepfather used to wake me up at 4.
• 36:33
  4 30 in the morning and tell me i'm lazy and i'm not gonna mount anything so when i do nothing i feel like i'm dying and i'm lazy yeah none of that is true right right and now that i've healed it it's like i can look back and go oh my god i worked against myself for so many years this leads me to the next great question it's what is harder building the business or healing the person running it healing the person running it
• 37:00
  That's definitely harder. That's definitely harder. People are so very dynamic. What did walking away from an eight-figure company teach you about letting go since we're talking about letting go?
• 37:10
  You know what? It made me sink into who I am. I've always been the person behind building everybody else. So I was always hiding and doing everything for everybody else. So it made me, it forced me to step into my own power and voice. The woman behind the man. Interesting. What do you think that was from?
• 37:32
  Definitely trauma. Definitely fear of being seen, fear of being just exposed, even though I was already... I mean, I'm so open about my life. I don't really care. You know what I'm saying? Because here's the thing. Let me just say this right quick. Here we go. I'm sorry, but people, they just want to shame their history. You know what I'm saying? They want to fuck... Like, oh, well, it was so bad, and I was so bad, and they want to lie about it and just not be in integrity about their past. And I'm like, guys...
• 37:58
  Your past is history. It's a fact. You can't change it. You know what I'm saying? So why even try to cover it up? It's just literally what happened. It's just what happened. We as humans, we put the emotion and the negative or positive connotation on everything. But really, everything just is, right? It just is. So accept yourself. Accept your past. And the minute that you do that, you free yourself. It's like I talk about it on my past. I don't care. I have a reframe for you. Hmm.
• 38:26
  You're going to like this one. What if all of that was preparing you for what you're supposed to be doing? Yeah. What if that was the training camp? What if you made a deal with God and the soul level way back when and you said, hey, I'm going to put you through all the things that you asked for to get you ready. That's what this is. For me, I was the opposite. I minimized how bad my life was. How bad.
• 38:52
  God awful my parents treated me. And I have a luxury of a sister who's eight years older than me. So she remembers everything more than I do because she was older. When it was happening to me, I was five till 15 or five to 16.
• 39:10
  She was there. She was older. She remembers all the stuff. So at five, she was 13 and 14 and remembered. And I had a lot of uncomfortable conversations with her. Like, I remember this. Is this what happened? She's like, that's all you remember? So I suppressed it. But the moment I started talking about it, especially on the podcast at Open, I witnessed it and I integrated it into myself and I got my power back. Yeah. Yeah.
• 39:38
  And then no secret, the podcast is blowing up. Our IT company is blowing up. I'm telling you, man, you freaking heal yourself and you will become a better business. You'll become better at everything. Everything. But the weirdest thing about it, I put my identity on that. That poor little victim. Yeah. Yeah. That everything's unjust. The world was freaking tough to him. So, of course, I made it tough. Yeah.
• 40:05
  Write the name. Harder than life. Yeah. Like it's not, life is not as hard as we make it out to be. So I find myself literally shattering my identity. Everything that I've known that got me here. Yeah. Because what got me here will keep me here. Yep. Yes. You have rebuilt your identity more than once. Yeah. How do you actually let an old version of yourself die? How have you been able to do it?
• 40:30
  I mean, for me, it's through the shadow work. It's all the, I mean, I've done over 100 different holistic modalities to, you know, heal my mind, my body, my energy. And so I would say it's the modalities. I mean, people would tell me back in the day,
• 40:45
  Like, just stop being so upset. Just stop being so stressed. I'm like, okay, I would. Like, okay, yeah, I'm just going to walk and be happy. No, it didn't work like that because somatically our trauma lives there in our bodies. So until we can integrate the entire experience, body, mind, energy, then we will always be carrying that. Integrate. Mm-hmm. That word is big now. Mm-hmm.
• 41:06
  You've heard me just say it two seconds. You don't heal it. You integrate it. Yeah. Yeah. And that isn't done. Acceptance of all the parts of yourself. So it's not pushing away, you know, the bad person that did the bad act. It's not pushing away the abused little baby. You know, you're accepting those parts of yourself because those parts of yourself were there to protect you in those moments. So instead of pushing them away, you hug them.
• 41:31
  integrate those parts integration that has been going over and over and over again in my life if you're not doing something if you're not talking to a therapist or doing something that literally is saying the word integration there's a dead giveaway that you need you need to up level um this is so good guys you're getting a freaking master class shadow work talk about that for a second i i know what i think i know what it is but could you just enlighten the audience
• 41:56
  Yeah. So in my mind, shadow work is kind of reaching into the dark parts of yourself and shedding light where, you know, there's darkness. So, I mean, how do you do that? Well, I mean, grounding would be a way. Neural feedback would be a way. Flotation therapy. Why are these things? Because they're all kind of creating more space in your consciousness to become self-aware.
• 42:18
  So you can address yourself. Like, for instance, when you're in sensory deprivation, flotation therapy, you're literally laying in a thousand pounds of Epsom salt mixed into a foot of water. So your body is like laying there buoyantly on this water. There's no light, no sound.
• 42:34
  So your brain finally gets an opportunity to kind of relax and just be, right? So it'll push your brainwaves from beta into alpha, theta, where you can actually reprogram your subconscious, which is your identity. Because 95% of our thought patterns and actions and behaviors are subconscious. That's your identity. Only 5% is subconscious.
• 42:55
  is conscious, right? So that's why the people that are like, oh, I want to be a millionaire. I deserve to be a millionaire. Sometimes don't get that because they're 95% of themselves. It's really like, oh, you're not worthy of that million dollars. Okay, so until you can get into the 95%, your identity,
• 43:10
  You have to be able to do that through the work, the shadow work. So being able to drop your brainwave states into theta alpha, being able to meditate, become self-aware, being able to get in touch with your body again. Because when you've had tons of physical violating trauma done to your body, you leave your body. You're not even connected to this, which is your intuition. Because these feelings will give you hits of...
• 43:35
  Whoa, like this isn't a good place for you to be. Whoa, that's a bad person. Stay away. You know what I'm saying? We disconnect. We leave our bodies because it's not safe here anymore. So the shadow work creates safety within the body. It creates alignment with the energy, with your thoughts. And when you're all aligned, right, when your body is being triggered, but yet your mind is...
• 43:56
  is still strong and you're very self-aware, you can observe the trigger without allowing the feelings of the emotions to spin you out into a negative story. Like I said earlier, we as humans put the negative or positive connotation on everything. Things just are, you know, until we tell the story about what they are. Things just are. A dear friend of mine just said that to me literally last week and he reminded me. It's a good reminder. I want to remind you guys.
• 44:23
  Everything in this world is neutral. It's not positive. We assign the meaning. So why not assign a positive meaning? Something bad happens to you. Someone cuts you off. They had to get somewhere in a hurry. Maybe they're going to the hospital. Everything is neutral. She just said it. This keeps being said to me, guys, and I want to share it with you. You're remarkable of everything that you've come through. Single mother, surviving betrayal, abuse. Where did you find the strength to keep going?
• 44:53
  Well, I mean, I would have to say God, you know?
• 44:56
  I mean, I kind of got away with my connection from God and I felt a low level anxiety within me for the whole entire time that I kind of disconnected from God. And I mean, it's just living in alignment with God, creation, source, universe, whatever you want to call it. I mean, it's, I'm not leading my life anymore. I'm being led. Like everything is just, I'm literally so in alignment and on purpose, on purpose every single day.
• 45:26
  That it's like, I don't have to ask questions. I don't have to fear. I don't have to think. It's just, I'm being guided, you know? Just show up. Yeah. And I think that if people can really live like that and allow God to lead, instead of trying to take their bootstraps up and lead their lives themselves, I mean- I did that, by the way. Yeah. It doesn't work. It doesn't. It doesn't. And it's exhausting. It's exhausting. And you'll get sick, you know? You just got to live in for love. I'm surprised I made it this far.
• 45:55
  Looking back at what I did, we'll tell stories when you come to Michigan. For someone stuck in survival mode and that exact thing right now, what's the first thing they should do today? I think that people need to get out in nature and walk, to be honest. I mean, literally, it's the easiest thing to do. You just get out in nature. You let the sun bathe your skin. You look at the trees, the beautiful flowers. You look at the sky. You appreciate nature. Nature is God. Nature is perfect. We are not.
• 46:20
  So the minute that we can literally just go into nature, align with it. I mean, even through studies, they've shown that being in nature, connecting with nature and meditating, like doing a walking meditation actually grows white matter, gray matter in the brain. So, I mean, you're literally like healing yourself as you're taking a walk without your phone. I was just going to say, I couldn't get it fast enough. Don't walk like that. Like look up. One more thing. Mm-hmm.
• 46:45
  Take your shoes off. Yeah. Yeah. You can get the grounding, the nature. Yes. This last week, I had a metamorphosis. I'm finishing up IFS therapy. Beautiful. And I found this victim-exiled shame that he protected me. Yeah. Yeah. Everything was him. The world was unjust. And when I released him, I started noticing that the sky was bluer. Yeah. Trees were greener. Yeah. I was lighter.
• 47:14
  My dog was cuter. Yeah. And guys, I asked her several times and we really haven't got to it. But doing going into this darkest part, the shadow work and healing, heal yourself, heal the world. And it is so worth it. I've had some really rough moments over the last couple of months, breakdowns.
• 47:35
  And I wouldn't trade it for the world because I'm better and I'm on the other side of it. And you're here for a reason and we're just paying this forward. And it's freaking awesome. Yeah. You say you can burn it all down and still rise higher. How does someone do that without falling apart?
• 47:52
  I mean, you have to shift your perspective, right? So you have to kind of disconnect from the negative thought pattern. So when you have emotion or when you're triggered, that emotion, that feeling, it lives in your body for 90 seconds. And if it lives in your body any further than that, it's your mind telling your body a story about it to keep the feeling there. Oh, that's so good.
• 48:11
  So you break that pattern, right? You break the pattern by literally not allowing yourself to spin out negatively and knowing that it's not a story. Stop telling yourself the story. Allow the feeling, but don't tell yourself the story. So what I would do when I would feel myself like going down that negative road, I would literally stop myself. I would crash out for a moment and then I would run outside and I would literally ground myself. I would let the sun bathe me because what you're doing is you're re-presenting
• 48:38
  programming your reticular activating system, which filters your reality. So there's a bundle of nerves at our brainstem called the reticular activating system. And it filters our reality down from millions of bits of information that hit us every second to 50 to 100 bits of information. So those 50 to 100 bits are determined upon how you think you are and how you think life to be. So if you think that life is hard, then you're going to walk around filtering down your reality into obstacles everywhere. You're never going to see opportunity.
• 49:06
  So it's like you have to learn how to rewire the hardware in your brain to be able to align with the software, right? With the feelings, the emotions, the meditations, the connection with nature. It's like you have to physically do the hard thing, which is catching yourselves in the moments of negativity when you don't want to be positive, when all you want to do is crash out, keep breaking those patterns, because the more you break those patterns, that's going to create that neuroplasticity, that new neural connection.
• 49:35
  And that will then become your norm over time. But you have to train yourself like over and over. I mean, you have to do the hard work to kind of spin yourself out of these negative spirals. It's hard, but it's worth it. Why does the mind want to keep us stuck?
• 49:49
  Because the brain and the body, right? So the brain and the body, the only job for it is to protect us, right? So it's always searching for fear, searching for the negative thing because it's like, oh, how can I protect, protect, protect? So your brain is always looking to predict and protect you, not to look for the shiny things, not to feel happy. It's literally making sure that you don't get ate by a lion all the time. So it's always scanning for danger. So that's why when you get trolled online from a few little troll comments, you know, your brain...
• 50:18
  Oh, you'll see that. And it's like, oof, you know, instead of seeing the hundreds of positive comments. Because our brain is always scanning for danger. For the person who has done all the personal development work and still feels stuck, what are they missing?
• 50:31
  I mean, I think it's just maybe the breakthrough of knowing how to do the work. You know, I mean, a lot of there's so many different things out here like, oh, we'll just meditate and do affirmations. And like it goes deeper than that. You know, so I teach people like you can't.
• 50:49
  meditate on top of a dysregulated nervous system. You can't visualize and expect results off of a dysregulated nervous system. There is a way, a step-by-step process to be able to rework and reprogram your identity. And so a lot of people do it wrong. They think, oh, let me just listen to two hours of affirmations in the morning. My whole life is going to change.
• 51:08
  Honey, no, it's not. Like, you have to mix in all of the things. You have to get stuff into your body. You have to be able to go into your subconscious. You have to be able to get into that 95% of identity. And you can't do that with, you know, some of the things that people are teaching these days, I feel like. Yeah.
• 51:25
  You have to go deeper is what she said. I just said it in my head. I was like, well, because when I asked you the question, I started thinking, how would I answer it? And that's literally what you, and you know you're going deep when it hurts. Like holy hell. And you're like, what? And things actually get worse. They feel worse because you're,
• 51:43
  you're you're you're carving a new neural pathway yeah and and saying we're not doing this for me i had to wage war by myself yeah i said i am going to interrupt and stop this this is i'm sick of it yeah and thank god i did it before i hit rock bottom but um all right we're that's the end of the regular questions let's get to the rapid fire one word to one sentence simple and easy first thing you do every morning
• 52:09
  Thank God. Really? One biohack you cannot live without. If you say pulling your tongue, I'm going to laugh. Yeah, I mean, maybe. I would say grounding. Yeah, you say that a lot. Guys, if you haven't been following her, you watch her with the tongue pulling. See, this girl has tried. She might be the only person who's done more modalities of therapy and healing than I have done. So one most overrated word in personal development.
• 52:36
  oh um manifestation trigger manifestation you're right manifestation without action is a dream one word your younger self needed to hear one word i think three words it'll be okay it'll be okay it's more than okay you're awesome thank you burn it all down or build it slow
• 53:02
  I think all of it. Do it all. Snap. Burn it all down. Build it slow. Build it fast. Whatever the energy is, follow what feels good to you. Yeah, I said this earlier. I don't know if I said this. Let go, let God. The book that changed you the most. A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle. A New Earth. Eckhart Tolle is great. Oh, my God. He's amazing. I'm reading The Four Agreements for about the 50th time. I love that. I love that book. Every time I read it, I get something new. Yeah. I didn't know about this victim exile, and the first...
• 53:34
  Pet chapter talks about being a victim. I'm like, oh. What does rising higher actually feel like? Power, love, peace. That's what it feels like. Peace. This has been great. Elizabeth Carson, you are the real deal. You are harder than life. I loved every minute of this. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for making the trek. And I look forward to what we do next. And how can they reach you the best? What's the best...
• 54:01
  method of reach here? I would say either, you know, connect at ElizabethUnlimited.com or, you know, my website, ElizabethUnlimited.com. You're doing some great, crazy things going to the Himalayas in October. I'm like, what? Yes. You live life. So I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm happy that you're here. And thank you for being here. I appreciate it so much, Kelly. Thank you.
• 54:23
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.