Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #149 Never Say This To A Parent

Transcript

#149 Never Say This To A Parent · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like, what's up? What's up? Just as a way, yeah,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like we can just be a bit more
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: candid with each other in all way, we're both in
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: our mid thirties, i'd say mid thirty still thirty seven, right,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: so eight soon? Yeah, but not yet. But we're both
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: mid mid thirties. Thank you, But you still haven't wet dreams.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: It's been a weird coming out of my mouth. It's
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I'm Maddie J And I'm Ash And this is a
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: podcast all about parenting.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: It is the good, it is the bad, and the relentless,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: and that's not right and relatable, relatable, relentless. I was like, sure, relentless. Actually,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not wrong.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: We're just gone past two years. Oh we have it
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: is relentless. Wet dreams. Yeah, no advice given, no advice,
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: wet dreams. It has been a while. I think I
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: had a sneaky one, I want to say last year.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I thought I'd grown out of this. I suspected
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: that I had one last night.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Wow, I don't recall what the what the dream was?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I hope my wife was she definitely was. I you
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: seem unsure if you did or you didn't have broke
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: up going And I remember and I said it out loud.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, that's it over that? And then you
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: say that I don't know. Was it to April? We
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: like stop that. No, it was enough of that, Like
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: it was like, okay, well I reckon maybe a bit
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: pre come. I was like, enough of that, and then
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I went back to It was definitely early morning and
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I woke up and I was like.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Do you think it was It's not summer. It's winter
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: at the moment in Australia, it wouldn't have been. Sometimes
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: you can confuse sweat to be with semen happens?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Am I right? Well? I tasted it and the consistency
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: was similar to sweat. Yea, it was. Look, I was
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: definitely a little bit like uncomfortable. Yeah, look, if.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: It's been a while between you know, treating myself, if
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: you will I then will I reckon if Actually my
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: biggest fear of going into the jungle was that if
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I don't relieve myself that I would say normally after
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: a week, definitely two weeks, I am then due for
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: a wet dream. Yeah right, yeah, yeah. I thought we're
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: all grown out of there. So it's like it's like
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: a damn wall. The dam is full, going to release
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: some pressure.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: What do you do with morning wood in the jungle?
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't really get it. I'm not talking about the trees.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't really get it. I get it. Body is
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: just yes, not in an arousing environment anyway. Let's move on.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: So talking about actually talking about being confused by things
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: that happened during the night time. Okay, go ahead, gonna
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: be cameras because Jess is away on holiday.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: It must be nice in Japan. Jealous is in Japan.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: She sent me a picture of a big mountain, Mount Fuji.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. Mount Fuji?
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Is it?
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I mean enough to fujifilm. Go on, yeah, Jess, we
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: hope you have be a good time.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: We do. You've left bit of a time.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I passion myself here to offend for ourselves like the
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: good old days. When we first started, it was just
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: the two of us. It's taken us about six hours
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to record this episode. I got here at sunrise.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Well we'll get we hit the ground running six hours later.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: It's now he stayed the night. He's still here. Jess
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: is actually bad, She's.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Right, yes, last night, in the middle of the night,
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Ash Marley comes in to the room.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, no sticker on the chart.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: No sticker on the chart, and she starts off. She
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: prefaces the chat before she jumps into bed, and she goes, look, okay,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I've had an accident. And I was like, what do
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: you mean, and she goes, spilt my water bottle. She's
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: found a loophole to the system. She's like, I've spilt
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: my water bottle. Okay, So my bed is saturated right now.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: It's very damp up there. I'm unable to sleep in
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: the bed due to the level of moisture that currently
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: resides in the mattress, mold will start to generate. And
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, damn it, she's got me. And I
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: was like, all right, well, hop into bed. Then here
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: and I was like, holy shit. She's like what.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't wear any pants and she.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Goes yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes, don't worry about that
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: to sleep, and I was like, why are you wearing
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: any pants? And she goes, ah, yes, yes, the pants question.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I knew this would come and she goes the water
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: bottle spilt onto my pants and then onto the bed,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: which is why I removed the pants. Now I'm here,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go to sleep in your bed. Can
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: we please put this the rest.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I could just picture her going just dousing herself with water.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: In the shower, and I was like, okay, that all
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: adds up. Fair excuse, yeah, I think so hop into bed,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: go to sleep, and we'll deal with this in the morning.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Smart And I did have a thought as she hopped
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: into bed. I was like, legs are a bit sticky.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I was like, well, but you know, at
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: the same time, I was very tired as I've been working.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, I was like Ellie at one visitor.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I was you know, I was like half
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: awake and I was like whatever, shore fight, hop into
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: bed and then I woke up, and I was like,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna double check. Not that I don't trust Marley,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I'm going to just double check that she you know,
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: she did have an accident.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: She didn't lie to me in the middle of the
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: night when I was most vulnerable.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: And so I feel her bed, the bed is wet. Okay,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I'll give her that and I pop my nose to
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: the mattress and I go.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Piss. It's yourn. It's yourn. Poor lol is underneath that too. Okay,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: we started with loophole. Do you think she's done it
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: on purpose? Yes?
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Wow, I believe she has voluntarily weired herself. That's diabolical
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: as a loophole to a get into my bed and
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: b still receive a sticker in the morning.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: She's very good, she's very clever. She's got ya. They're
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: getting clever. And speaking of loophole's, Oscar has also found
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: one too. He's figured out sick bay. Yes, he's figured
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: out sick bay, but also he's figured out how to
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: convince them to skip calling me and call who so
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: first call mum. He's always going to be first. I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: feel like April would. She'd crumble quickly. Yes, she's missed
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: the call because she had Macy and she was doing something.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I get a call from April saying, hey, have you
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: got a call from the school. I'm nah, skipped me,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: gone straight to Popper, rubber arm. Popper, is your name
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: on the list. That's a good question too. It should
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: be buddy, he's mine, isn't he? So he has gone
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: to sick bay, sick for those listening and can't see
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: my speed fingers fingers like the peace sign, little rabbits
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: um and he's sick. Call Popo, who's rubber arm?
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: What's Papa done here? Because this is very important. Poppa's
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: going to pick him up.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Fuck, there you go. That's that's That's what I'm saying.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Rub round Pop. Yeah, you got you've got to take
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You've got to take it for face value, right like it?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Pop is like oscars sick. Okay, I'll come, I'll come
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: get it. Poppa's retired. Whatever, it's Friday, You're going to
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: cam something else. Now, I would never use that word,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: would never use that word. It's terrible. Ward uh. And
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: then April, I've had work to do, so I'm off
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: doing things.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: But how did you know that he was collected? Was
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: in the group chat and the family chat.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: It was April told me. April said, Pop is going
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: to pick him up. Skip me because I'm the hard ass.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: You are the hard Okay, skipped me, Stone cold ash Wicks.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I refer to you, Yes, everyone does.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I could break an arm and I think the bone
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: could pierce the skin. And you wouldn't give me any sympathy.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Correct, that's right. I've said, have you laid eyes on
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: this kid yet? And she's like, yeah, I've been touched shortly.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, great, so let me show you
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: please what she has sent me of a poor sick Yes,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: young boy.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Can you tell me what the illness was? So apparently
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: the symptoms was he facing? It was sw tummy, it wasummy.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: It's always them. Yeah, yeah, this is the day. Definitely.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: The poor boy can barely stand. Gosh? Is he still unwell?
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Has he made a recovery this morning? He was unwell apparently,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: but he's gone to school today. Fine, nothing wrong with him.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: He gets home he's like can we play? And I'm home,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: can we play footy in the front yard? I was like, nah,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: you're sick.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: They keep forget, they forget, they go get and they're like,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, sorry, I got to load down.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I'm not feeling hundred percent. But I always used to
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: chuck the sticky as a primary school kid. Always I
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: hated school. I was not built for school. Okay, this
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: cannot be schooled. Can I tell you something? Can I
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: tell you what you need to do here? Yeah?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Because Ash Friday last week, I had a call from
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: the school. Marley May unwell same day and same illness.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Also had a sick tummy. They're in hurts, these kids.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: They're like Friday, Friday the seventeenth, and it's like a
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: prisoner escape on Friday. We do it, we go, we
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: don't look back. I can just picture them being like,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: you ready.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Let's do it.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I get a call Marley's in sick Bay,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: saw tummy. I know that children who are unwell deserve
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: our attention, but at the same time, I'm like, my
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: knee jerk reaction was, is she actually sick?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I get I reckon, they get that all the time
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: on that phone call.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said, and I was working from home,
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: but I said, I'm in the city. I'll come as
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: quick as I can, but it'll be a couple of hours.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: It'll be at three o'clock with.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: So I was like, I'll finish doing my work for
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: two hours and then I'll get her. And I also
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: just thought to myself, like a sick by a primary
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: school was shit. Was just like next to the reception
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: it was like a fucking mattress, which was like concrete.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: And that's what it should be should be prisonf Yeah,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: thank you. Lock them in there. Yeah. She would be
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: like a little pen. What can I give that they
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: can't give? Like, just just lay down, here's a bucket, Yeah,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: give us a spewbag. That's it. Perfect. If it was
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: on a flight, that's what they do, that's what you get. Yeah.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: So yeah, So when I picked up Marley, she was like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: you're a long time and I was like, yeah, damn right.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I was because I want her to know that sick
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: on a sick base sucks smart and you're gonna hate
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: sitting there and it's going to be boring. But she
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: was the same dude. She was like hello, and I
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: was like, what's wrong, Bubba? You have to use my
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: baby voice and she was like I gotta sound tummy.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: She's like I'm not feeling well, and.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, come here, come to daddy.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: The second we walk out of those school brow past
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: the front gate.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: She's like, whoa ge yes, I can imagine. It's like
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: you took forever and it's like she's like, also just
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: prefaces with our kids can't tell the time yet that
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: you're late, and you're like yeah, it's like, how are
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: you feeling bubble. I'm fucking fine now, bitch mate.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I tried to explain to my I was like, well,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: if you're unwill you can't go to the birthday party tomorrow.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: I am And she was like what yeah, And she
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: was like, I think I'm feeling better.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I can go home to it. She was like Oscar.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: She was bouncing off the walls. She was coloring much energy,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: too much energy.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: But like I used to do that and then I
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: would be like, I want to go sock training tonight. No,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: you're fucking not.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: One time, one time, I didn't want to go to
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: school and I hated sick base, so I knew that
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: if I had to fake being sick, I had to
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: be in the morning. And I got a cloth and
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I rubbed it on my forehead and I went to
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: my mum and I was like, just.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Feel how hot I am.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: She was like quite a temperature, and I was like, gotcha.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Got her Speaking of injuries and stuff like that, firstly,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: it just gave me a little memory of when I
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: was in When I was in year seven, I was
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: playing touch football with the bigger kids and them fell
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: on me, okay and have my head hit the ground.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Between my legs, so quite like an over extension. You
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: tried to suck yourself off in that moment, I could
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: have got a quick leg. And then I did go home.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Literally my dad had to pick me up because at
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: that moment I was in pain. But what's the problem about.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I used it to get more time off school, and
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I was fine because also it was the same year
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: that Joey John's heard his neck playing footy and he
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: was in the neck brains, and I thought that was
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: pretty cool. So you had a neck brain. So I
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: neck braced it for like a week to get a
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: week off school. But I was completely fine. Hang on
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: a second, your neck is moving fine today? Yeah, I'm good.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I'm back down. You were in a neck brace last week? Yeah,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: it was like a week and that was I was
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: like ten days ago. Oh yeah, fine, that's my leg now.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Somehow the pain moved for my neck right down to
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: my leg. He's still thinking bon Jovi in the car. Yeah, No,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: what was I doing. I was singing Iris it's practicing. Yeah. Anyway,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Also on injuries, I never thought having kids I would
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: get so injured. Remember I was back nearly like two
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: years ago now when we started this, and I had
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: a moment of pure anger when I was picking up
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: toys and hit my head on a door knob on
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: the way back up. I think I did it twice
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: in the same very frustrating and it's like I'm cleaning
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: up after these fucks and I'm hurting myself. That's what
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I recall from that situation. Well, let me tell you
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: right now, I've had another running with the door handle.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: What door handles. I'm going to tell you what exactly
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: what happened. Okay, so when April goes to the toilet,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: it shuts the door. The kid's always going there, that's
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: a mom thing. I like to lock the door.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, if April's not locking the door, that's on
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: her exactly.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: But she has a dig at me about if they're
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: going to come in to see me, they should be
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: allowed to go in and see you. And I'm like,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: we all got the bar here, lock it so we're
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: up here together.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: But also like, fucking dad shits are a lot worse
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: than mumshit's lies.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, they store them up and then they do one
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: horrendous shit and Aeopl's like, where are the kids coming here?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I drag them in I don't mind dragging him in
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: as a joke. It's funny, but I also like my privacy,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: like you know, as any person, as any man or
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: woman would exactly right now, I am a stand and wiper.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah amen, yeah, okay, so few of us stand and wipe.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And it just so happens that the door knob is
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: that the exact height as my dick and balls. And
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: guess who comes barging in while I'm wiping oscar oscar
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: wicks at full velocity. A silver metal door handle has
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: hit me directly in a combination of the head of
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: my penis which is massive and sorry sorry, and my
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: testicles with my shitty aarsehole and a handful of shitty
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: toilet paper. Can I tell you right now I had
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I fell into the corn so it's a picture this.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: It's a separate toilet to the bathroom, so it's quite skinny.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I've fallen into the crack between the toilet and the
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: jip rock wall. Okay, saw nuts, saw penile head, now
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: the toilet paper. I've tried to brace myself. I've fallen,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: put the shitty toilet paper up against the jip rock
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: wall and slid down it like so so I'm jammed
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: between the toilet and the wall that has now ship
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: on it. What's Oscar saying? At this point? He was
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: just like, what are you doing? What you need to
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: be sick? You mean to be sick. I'm on the ground,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: stuck between the toilet with a sore set of nads
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and a shitty asshole. God what a sight. And I
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: had to somehow backward slither out of there. Did you
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: call for help? Did April? No One wanted to help me.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: She's like, you're on your own hands. She's like, you
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: in there. It's like, for God's sake, could this get
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: any worse? It does? The roof is are back next door?
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Shut up your fate. No, God, they're back.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm surprised when you're like a show chavenist.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: No, hang on. But also it was a Sunday and
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: they were working on the roof next door. You're an exhibitionist.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: It's the word I'm looking exhibition. But also it was
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Sunday and I was like, what the fuck are they doing?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: But I've worked out because it's been raining so much,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: they haven't been able to finish the roots. They just
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: got at the window of good weather. And now we've
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: got a little thing going where if I see them
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: in the morning and I'm like, I don't want to
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: see my asshole today.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, wow's joke. How's your penis now?
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Oh? I recovered? Yeah, thank heavens. Yeah. I just had
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: to bring this up with my therapist.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I don't want to sound like being a hero at
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: the moment, but Ash, I'm doing it tough. I'm doing
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: it solo. Oh yeah, Laura's way by myself. When isn't
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Laura away?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Mate? Fuck, she's over and by right now. Yes, she
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: is working. It look like she was doing you know,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: when you to take your kids to like a sensory thing.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: She was doing the jewelry, That's what it looked like
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: she was doing. Was it was fun?
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Actually, mate, you know how much he's had to go
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: at me about the business class flight blah blah blah
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah blah blah. We've all heard enough
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: of it by multiple people media outlets for attacking I
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: was being defained publicly, and so I was with the
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: kids on Sunday. Laura, where was she in the lounge?
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Champagne in hand? She's flown over busy class with her sister,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: and she had the nerve to message me from the lounge, going, oh,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: just send me a photo of the kids.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I missed them. Shut you do not. She needs to
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: leave it a day or two before saying I start
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to miss people, you can't be like you've been gone
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: for two hours. I'm like, oh, I missed the kids.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I can go.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I can take him to the airport and you can
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: spend another hour with him if you want.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Your flight doesn't take off for another hour. Sneaking into
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: the quants, I couldn't do another goodbye. They're serving alcoholic. Yeah,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: some one's messaging my feet. It's like, for FAC's sake,
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: at least get to like.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I know, whenever I go way and leave the family.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: It's like, you don't want to message April, not straight away.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: But if I've like, for example, you don't want to
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: give off how much fun you're having. I get that,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: But also that's too premature. If it was a couple
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: of days and she's like, look, I'm actually I missed
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: the kids. I must have a little bit of balleibilly.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I haven't been sleeping well like I've been, you know,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: like make up something for God's sake, yeah, and then go, oh,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: just you know, because in those moments of vulnerability, you
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: can miss your kids totally. It's like me saying I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: had a fucking huge night last night, babes, and god
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I missed it and I missed the kids. It's like, well,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: how about you don't have it. You've got a.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Schooner in hand, and I'm like, enjoy enjoyed at the moment. So, yeah,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Laura has flown over. She's currently just her sister and herself.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: They're working hard. Please and mate, I didn't realize it.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: She told me many times, but I've been unable to
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: retain the information. And Nana was packing the bags and
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, where.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: The fuck do they you're going?
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: And she's like, I'm going to Brisbane for your brother's
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: birthday and I was like what, So she's gone too,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: She's left me.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: She left this morning. I was gonna sask sorry yesterday, didn't.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I Yeah, she was yesterday, she's gone now she's gone
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: five am.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: These girls out here, I'm after Brisbane to.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm currently you know I'm doing it tough. Do
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: you also just shout out to all the single parents
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: out there.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I know it's hard. Oh absolutely, it's tough. Just going
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: to preface that and say that we best preface that.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: We should conduct a little experiment. Go on my wife. Yes,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: what I may do because I'm after Brisbane tomorrow for
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: a couple of days. It's like a day two days
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: cause for a state of origin, it's the hat working work.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I am working. I've got content to do. But also
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: it just so happens to be a sport that I
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: love and we people I like, not that I don't
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: like my kids. You're a lucky guy. You found your passion.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thinking about going to the airport tomorrow, yes,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: which I have to be there at midday. Love it.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: And as soon as I get there, I'm going to
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: send a message to April saying I missed the kids.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: And then but also i'll film it. Can you do
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: an airport beer? Oh yeah? On your stories? Oh yeah,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: she was going to see that. And then I'm going
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: to tager and good this is a good gear airport beer.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going I'm taking a mate with me.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Can you as a videographer, can you just can you actually?
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Can you call April and then be like, god, I
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: miss the kids. I'll get my mate to film in it. Yeah,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I'm taking a videographer with me. That's the best thing
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: that I'm taking a videography, videos everything, and yeah, I'll
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: have it and we'll do a lit all up.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Do you know what we'll do. I'll ring her, I'll
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: put on a loud speaker and I'll be like, I'll
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: do it. We'll do it cheers and then I'd be like, oh,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: really miss the kids, babe, and just see what she is.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: And we sit and we wait and can I be
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: on like on the phone call as well? No, I
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: don't do that's too much. I will film it in
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: real time, send it over to you. I get you
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: what you think I did?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I did try. I try.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I put forward the case to not bring the kids
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: to Bali.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Economy, yea economy, economy yeah, yep.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going to Bali without the kids. Must be real.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: And she was like, no, I just I want to
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: see the kids so badly. Don't go then ship anyway,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: so I know, it's like it's a long way to
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: go to kids. Thank you. Okay, hang on one question
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: while we're on the subject. We talked about seating arrangement
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: for two parents, two kids. What about seating arrangement for
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: two kids, one parent. I'm going to do a video
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: on this.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to a video on this because I'm
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: flying grud Air. Shout out to Grout and Not sponsored.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Their seating configuration very interesting. They have four in the
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: middle and then the windows are two and two.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: You pretty much have to go the four otherwise one
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: gets left alone unless you buy four seat. Do I?
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Could I go on?
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Could I go window next one across right and then
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: do the aisle?
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: So the middle row aisle? Is that a possibility? Is that?
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: So I get the two kids by themselves, try and
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: get a seat in front two trying in front of
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: the person behind you was like and then you just
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: take your around and go. They didn't have anything that
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: lined up, but I'm just here about that one behind
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: so you can see them but they can't see you.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: So that was an idea. I'm yet to lock in
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the seating plant. You're going in like two days, don't you? Yeah? Brilliant, brilliant,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Ida, thank you. Do you know what else
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: is brilliant? This? You don't mostly progression, you don't want,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: so just tell me what your parent do you want?
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: My crand parking at the shirt.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: You don't want advice from frangers, Go and tell me
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: what is your part?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Well played, sir, and I would say that that is
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: one of the greatest segment songs ever to be produced
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: by anybody ever. Thank you? Okay, would you like to
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: go first?
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've actually got I've got a parant myself. Oh,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: because I have one last week. I'm just gonna get
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: the last off my chest.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Go far away. You know I love daycares. Just be
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: careful how you finished that sentence.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: You know I love daycare. I love day care staff.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: I think they work incredibly hard. You know that I've
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: always been very vocal about my support for the daycare industry.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Most of them. Yeah right right, those of you don't
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I have a roundabout. I'm reluctant to attack the daycares.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Attack away. We attacked him months before. I want them
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: just pick up my sword. So Lola has been she's
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: been up up to like nine pm, and she loves
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: to sleep. Lately, she's been great in that she has
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: a story, goes to bed, falls asleep pretty quickly. But
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: now she's up to like nine o'clock. I'm downstairs and
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I can hear her walking around upstairs. I'm like, what
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: the fuck are you up to? And I was like,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: are you you having no at daycare? And she's like
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: and I was like, you you're fucking having naps at daycare?
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And she's like, I just had a little lay down.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: She's four, and I've said like, no, no nap, she's
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: no nap, and we're out of the naps, and they're
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: letting her have a nap.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, someone's and so.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: But now we're back in the cycle. So she's like
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: staying up so late, so she's tired because she's she's
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: going to sleep at like nine nine thirty. Dude, why
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: time she wake up like six thirty. It's not enough
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: to slick? Yeah, fuck man, you need a nap.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I love a n app And maybe I'll go to
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: that daycare, can I if you get in the bed?
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: So now, so now she's in the routine. She's in
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: the routine of napping during the day. They're going to
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: try and break the cycle, which they're not. They're letting
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: a nap.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. If you're listening, think of the parents,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Think oh of us poor parents, and I've started to
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: do this thing at night when kids go to bed
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: that I make them feel guilty about making any more
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: noises after that? What do you mean? I'm like, this
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: is Mummy and Daddy's time now, Like you know how
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: we give you everything you've ever wanted and all the
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: time you need ever And they're like, yeah, we love that,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Like why don't you just give me this moment now?
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: And do they get it? Some nights? Some nights I'm
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: like do you I'm like, I'm like, do you know
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: how sad I feel when I've got to come back
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: in here to tell you off? Do you know how
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: sad I am? What about me? And like sometimes it works?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: And then when they don't, I'm like, we spoke last
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: week about yelling at your kids. I'm like, well, it's
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: time to go to work and like shu whack slam
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: the door anyway. They hate the door being shut, so
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: that's now my current threat. But I'm like, oh, shut
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: this fucking door. You're like, anyway, that's my rant. Please.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I have a rand from someone hither. This one is
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: from Maddie, and Maddie says, no trolley bay near the
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: parent parks getting a good park, but hiking the Nullah
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: boarder return it. Yeah, I think there's whoever's designing these
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: car parks, and this is thing might flow onto a
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: little ran I have really quickly. Okay. On top of that,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: whoever's designing these car parks, I think it should go
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: disabled parking, parent parking with a trolley bay in between them. Okay,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: so it's equal because we just say this, right, you've
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: got one kid, there's one of you. You put that
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: kid and they say don't leave your kids alone in
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: the car, and then you've got to walk to drop
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: the length of the a nuther boar. Yes, thank you
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Maddie for that. To put a trolley bag. It's dangerous,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: it's disgusting. That's a lot can happen in that thirty seconds.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: A child could go missing. Not to scare anyone out there,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: but that's the reality. It's the reality, okay. It's the
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: life we live, especially in dangerous areas where does may
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: live and the dangerous area could take your baby. Very true,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah. But also I've got a ramp with
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: car parks in general, okay, And it's not the people
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: who've designed it, it's the people in it. Okay. People
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: think you pull into a car park, rules don't apply anymore.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: What rules are you talking about, rules, pedestrian rules, anything
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: like that. Okay, this is what annoys me the fucking most.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: There's two things that annoy me the most. The first
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: one is when someone tries to cross the street in
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: a car park across the where you're driving. Okay, there's
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: a crossing to cross, but they crossed like ten meters
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: due south of it. Walk up and use the crossing.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: People think that that's like, I'm just gonna walk, not
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: even look. Yesterday I had Mum in the car right
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: and I went to reverse out of a car park.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Reverse lights are on, they are blaring, they are fucking bright,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: and some old bloke not old, I'm saying, like fifty yeah,
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: didn't even stop to be like, oh is he reversing?
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Didn't even stop. He just walked from across first of all,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: walked in front of a car that was driving directly
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: towards my rear camera. Death wish. And it's like, bro,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: the arrogance rules apply. If I hit you, I'm in trouble, right,
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: but doesn't mean you just start walking out like infuriating. Also,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: when someone goes up the wrong way. Guilty car park design. Right,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: there's obviously someone who's logistically designed this so that the
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: flow of the traffic goes in one way, but then
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: there's some entitled jerk that wants to go the wrong
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: way and fuck everyone's day up. I feel so much better.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize you were such a stickler for the
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: rules and car parks.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I just thought you just you're a man who is.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Very fluid and all of a sudden, once you get
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: the car park, let the car park nazi.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't know what's coming this way all
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: across the roll. I don't know what accent that is.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Just the blatant disregard. That's what I don't like. I think,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: if you're in a car park as a pedestrian and
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: a driver, yeah, you still have to follow the rules.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Did the first time you're about to get run over?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, like the bredestrian crosses
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: right there.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Just anyway, this one ash is one that I haven't
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: come across too frequently. In fact, I would say it's
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: the only time I've seen this pear rant.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: It's a niche. I like niche. It's a niche rant
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: was it as niche as the car pike one.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: We get a lot of car I would say ninety
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: percent of rants from parents about car parks.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I reckon they need like a lollipop lady in a
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: car in every shop, full time attendant, a full time attendant,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: not to like, but to usher people through and be
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: like if there's someone like struggling across the street and
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: they're like, okay, it's just stop for sect something like that.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Do lollipop ladies or the people who did the crossings
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: at school do they get paid? Yes, they do by
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: who counsel? Do they?
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: How much you get paid? Well, little bit, you can
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: look that up on Fair Work. There's an award for
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: that too hard depending on your years, on your hour.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: But next election, throw that car park attendees. Do you
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: know what? It's generating jobs the economy, reducing the unemployment rate.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: And this one is from Frankie Hall Photography. Also do
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: want to mention Frankie Hall had to look at their
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Instagram account, very beautiful photos of kids and families, but
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: she says, I feel like you would sympathize with this situation.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: No hot chooks in the Bain Marie at Cole's at
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: five pm.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: That's peat chicken time. What are they doing? So this
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: is what they should do. Okay, supermarkets, if you're listening,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I'm just solving all the world frobms today. Make them
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: for chip pro chicken times, don't. I don't want to
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: walk into a Woollies at seven am and there's a
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: fucking hot chook. I want to walk in at eleven
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: am and there's a hot chook. I've never experienced that myself.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: There's always been a steady flow of chucks available.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Depends of the need of the protein for the suburb,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I guess, but yeah, I would fully agree, because there's
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: been times where it's like, fuck, I'm running late. My
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: days just got away from me. April me to organize
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: dinner today, and it's like, oh, I'm at the shops.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to nip in and get a hot chook,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: hot chook dinner for dinner at a reasonable time to
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: pick one up for dinner. And it's like, we don't
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: have any hot chooks. We sold them all for breakfast. Bullshit.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Fuck. Imagine imagine you in the car park experiencing that
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: dilemma that Malakey going going going into Kohls no chick,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: No chick, no chicken, and then going back to the
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: car park far out. Geez, Heaven forbid your poor family. Anyway,
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: your round, I.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Reckon that would be the worst day of my life.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: And there's been some bad days. You've had a few,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: We've had a few bad days. Okay, my last one
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: for this segment today, and I'm going to leave this
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: is a little bit up to interpretation for both of
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: us because Kay, if that's your real name, has written
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: in and said three words very simply fucking car seats.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, annoying, the older the clip, the clippers, the clips.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: So there's a multitude of clips when it comes to
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: car seats. There's the ISO fixed clips. What the fuck
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: is that?
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: So, you know, is the way it fits into the Yeah,
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: that's hard to put in easy job.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: There's also yes, the clips where that it's tightened to
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: keep your child safe. And I would say that putting
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: a car seat into a vehicle is would be up
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: there with one of the most outraged I get when
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: something goes wrong. So it's like normal day to day task.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: If I stub my toast slightly, or bump something slightly,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: or do something wrong slow it's going wrong with your
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: car seat. It's not that, I think, it's more like
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: it's just can be fiddly sometimes. Yeah.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: And also then the kids are always like it's too yeah,
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: and listen. I'm like the seatbelt, it's meant.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: To be tired. I was putting the car seat into
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: this loan car that I have right now, right and
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, you can't. It's not new, it's not mine.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just borrowing it. Money bags over here, So I'm
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: just borrowing it. And how does that make me money? Bag?
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I would like to borrow some money that I don't
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: have to pay bag, that'd be great gon. And I
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: was just, you know, I was in no rush. I
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: was just putting it in casually because I know that
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: if you do it in a rush, things go wrong.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: I've fucking turned around and bumped my head on the
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: grip that you hold on to as a passenger, and
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: I fucking saw laying into the car, and I was
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: like punching the shit out of it. People are like,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: oh God, should I step in and stuff that?
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Dad?
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: And then I've gone to pull the seat belt tightened
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: and slipped a bammed funny bone into the corner of
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: the door. Oh my god, I'm going to return that
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: loan car. And they were like, is this car been
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: in an accident? Ship out of the car. But it's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: like the most smallest thing. They're just infuriating devices, if
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: you ask me, so, that's what I think K means.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: And if you have any pair rants parents, pair rents, sorry,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: pair rand, pair rant, send it to us, get it
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: off your chest, make sure it doesn't stay in and
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: you get all I feel frustrated, and you know, at
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: an in opportune moment, it all comes out. Let it
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: come out to us. We'll clean up the mess. Yeah,
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: I feel so much better. Actually, you look more relaxed.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Ash. A couple of questions before we.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Go fire away, Ash.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, this is a question that was submitted on the
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Facebook group. They would like to know, what are any
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: traditions that you have created with your kids besides yelling
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: at them every night?
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Oh kens, you know what time it is.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: They're beautiful traditions that they'll remember as core memories for
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: the rest of their lives.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Gotcha, got one? Have you ever heard of these things
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: called fighter gummies? Oh? What are they like? Little multi
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: dam and in gummy form? It look like a lolli.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: So the tradition is every day obviously it's a vita gummy,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: not just feed my kid's lollies. If they're ready, like
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: if they're dressed themselves, get ready to go on time
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: in the mornings, then they get what we call a lolli. Ah,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: it's medicine. It's Medicineidamin's suckers, idiots, and they don't know that.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: They just think it's a low thing. I've got a
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: lovely bag of lollies. When do you think you'll tell
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: them the truth when they move out.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: We haven't got any traditions really like nothing that I'm like,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: that's a beautiful memory.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know if mine's a beautiful memory. No, I
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: love it. Yours is manipulative, thank you. That's my whole deal.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I'm a manipulative parent. It's the kind of parenting that
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I want to hear about. Good.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: No, we haven't got anything like fuck other than yochi
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: on a Friday.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: That's that's something, is that you do it together. We
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: used to have we on a Friday. It was called
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: the little Shop.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: A little shop is a little convenience store down the
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: road for my school, and I remember it's weird, like
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: core memory, going in every Friday to go in.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I think back then we had fifty pants buy Auffle store.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: How much I got to go with this as a kid,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: but we got to pick what we wanted, the little treats. Yeah,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I just want to think for me as a kid,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: we didn't really have anything, just the regular beatings. But
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: my parents never hit me.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you're a parent out there right now and
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: you have a great tradition, something that you do with
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: your kids more than just like you know, obviously I
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: read to the kids every night before they go to bed.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: People do that.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: But if there is a tradition that you have that
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: you think is a nice touch other parents can implement, do.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: You actually do you know what I used to.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I've got it from doctor Phil. Of all people, I
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: would say, not every night. Tradition is very important to
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: be consistent. But I would do it like would pepper
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: it in. But I would say to each girl individually,
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: I would say, that's all we have time for.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I would say, of all.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: The girls in all the world, how do you think
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: it ended up that I got the best one?
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: Oh? Very good? Giving them a complex early. That's what April
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: said to Oscar. She's like, you're the most handsome boy
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: in the world. I'm like, don't give this boy a
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Complex's like, what do you mean? And I was like,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: let me tell you a story, young lady. Go on,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: we go to the archives here. We used to have
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: a girl at our school in primary school. I recall
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: this that she got her mum used to tell her
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: that she was the most beautiful girl in the world
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: and she believed it, which is fine. Belief is fine.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: But then she started to tell people at school that no, no, no, no,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I'm the most beautiful person in the world.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you want to say like you're the bravest
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: or you're the funniest store.
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then I said, do you know that my
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: mummy tells me that too, And she was heartbroken. Did
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: you mean to kick off or were you just like,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: oh no, I capte that my was having a dig
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: and I remember she was heart I got in a
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: lot of trouble. Actually I got in tuble for bullying.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Dare I tell the truth and get called bullying? I
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: remember it broke her heart. So I said to Apel, look,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: you're allowed to say to your kid that you're the
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: most handsome boy in all the world. To me, you're
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: my most handsomeboy. Something like that. Very particular because I
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: imagine him being going to his friends at school, I'm
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: the most handsome boy, and then I had to break
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: it to you. Yeah, but I'm the fucking hottest here. Yeah.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure every mum tells him that, heartbreak. I'll
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: tell you just a quick tradition we did have for
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: a while there. It was like a funny one Before
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: the kids would get into the shower, we do a
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: neody rudy and let the kids want to run up
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: the hallway naked and then run back and the shower.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And they thought it was fucking so funny. You're an exhibitionist.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: We don't have any clothes in our house. All the
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: roofers are like welcome back by welcome back. I have
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: a question for you, please. Now, we've been doing a
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: lot of top threes. I love them. I love a
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: top three. Why my question to you is, what is
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: the top three worst things you can say to a parent? Oh,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: let's start with your number three. Okay, number three.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: I have asked this question before and probably not needed
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: to say this vocally because people will just realize that
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: it's not a great question, not a great statement to
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: make to any parents. But I think I now know,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I now know that you should not ask can you
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: get on with it?
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: What position did you conceive it? Well, I did not
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: expect that. Tell me standard missionary sidesaddle go on, yeah,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: it was your number three. My number three is starting
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: any sentence with Look, I don't want to tell you
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: how to parent. Ah trigged You're like, well, then don't
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: you fuck me? Two for you? I don't know if
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: maybe this is just me being sensitive you mean sensitive? No,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: go on, I know, right.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: But I don't like it when people would look at
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: particularly Lola, and then they look at me and they go, gosh,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: she looks nothing like you.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, sure, DNA didn't get a look into it.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to really have a distab
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: at something I said once, which was like she's got
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: a big head. It was just as bad.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I think you should you know as well. And to
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: top that would be saying, gosh, it looks like neither one.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Of you adopted will We had that rant that it
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: was like a redhead and neither of their kids were
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: sounds like the Milkman's got some explaining say it, don't
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: say it? No too. What have you got for me?
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I've got this sentence that you say to your parents, Wow,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: your kid's got a lot of energy. Do they always
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: act like that? That's the nicest way to say your
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: kids are fucking shihead? Yeah, here we go. This is
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: your number one? Is it number one? Go on?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: And I have copt this a few times, and and
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: like to anyone out there who has said this.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Shame on you, shame.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: But number one thing you should not say to any
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: parent is gosh, you look tired.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I knew you were going to say something
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: like that, so I left it out of my But
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: that is bad.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: That is like the biggest kick. You might as well
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: say you look like shit. Just lie and say you
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: look great. You're glowing bags on your eyes really yeah?
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: And that that stains on your shirt really make your
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: eyes pop like that.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Shiit sandwich these kids? Yeah yeah, yeah, mine is similar.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: It's a cheeky jab. I do. Yeah, sentences that are
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: a cheeky jab, So read it out to you. Okay,
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: So someone says to you, oh, we did sleep training,
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: and it totally worked for us. What am I doing wrong?
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: So we've you know what I mean, Like it's like
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: a bit of a backhander. Don't yeah, don't try and
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: one up another parent. I think anything backhanded to a
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: parent your borderline.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: You should be locked up for it. I'm almost tempted.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: Almost tempted.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Now look back when Marley are first was a great sleeper,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: and there were timers, and I would be proud of
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: the fact that she's a great sleeper. That's so bad
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: just say your child sucks at sleeping.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: So we have a mother's group, okay, but we have
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: edged some of these parents out because they just don't
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: forget them old did you say edge? I did. And
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: this was one reason we edged one of them is
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: because one of the mums was early doors, very braggy
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: about their kids sleeping through. Whether she was bragging or not,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: she did after the confrontation I had with her because
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: it was going through a time when Oscar didn't sleep.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: We're having troubles. You know, we were in and out
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: of hospitals, and you know, professionals were involved. It was
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: really really bad, and I've spoken about it on a podcast.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: Go back, listen to all of them. Actually, while you're.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: At it, I don't know what episode it is, so
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: just listen to all of them figure it out and
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: we you know.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: One of the best things to do as parents is
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: collectively winge about your kids. Yes, it's a bonding moment,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: it is bonding, but there's nothing more unbonding than one
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: of the parents being like, oh my timmy sleeps right
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: through slip, right through since twelve weeks and that's what happened.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: And I was like, hey, you know, some of us
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: are in the thick of it, right And she was like,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: I don't understand. You mean, I'm like, well, how do
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: you think? How do you think we feel with no sleep?
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: And then you do you want to butt in and
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: tell us that everyone in your house is sleeping? How
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: would you feel about that? And they're like, oh, I
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: was just saying. I was like, well, don't fucking say
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: don't fucking say it, because we're all on the edge.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: You're content, be content somewhere else. Deleted from the group chat.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Love the passion from you today. Well, that's what It's
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: a horrible thing to say. There is one of the
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: worst things you can say, and it should be on
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: the top of the list is when, especially when someone says, oh,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: how you know? You know our kids were struggling with
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: sleep and we're in the trenches. There's nothing worse than
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: you saying we're fine. You might just lie, just spit
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: in my face. Why I don't you just lie and
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: say it's fucking hard hey, because that is going to
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: give that parents some sort of right he is there
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: is Ashwicks coming good. Thank you.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: We started on semen. We're about to end on seamen,
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: then are we we're talking about edging. Okay, we better
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: get out of here.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Better. You have to have some lunch. I have to
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: eat some food.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: But if you enjoyed this episode, please we would love
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: it if you would give us a subscribe, a review,
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: a couple of comments. Ash Working may follow us on
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: social media.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Instagram das TikTok, two grants, two doting grams, two doting
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: dance and then also on Facebook we have Facebook grips driving.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: We got a lot of good questions, had full requests
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: come through just before we started recording.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's what yours sprite hope there we go. Sounds
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: at the door. Let's get out of here. Excuse me,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: many you want my own storage. Can I ask you boy,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I'm better? We consider here and make each other.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: In the day two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land,
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: see and community.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and horstride on
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: the peoples today