Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season Two, Episode Four: Owl-Coholics Anonymous

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Season Two, Episode Four: Owl-Coholics Anonymous · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:00
Greeting scum, and welcome to Flail Face.
0:01
I am your Holmeister, Kevin. Actually, I guys, I've been
0:05
thinking about it. I think I'm going to change that
0:07
up again. I know I called myself
0:08
Holmeister a couple episodes ago.
0:11
Yeah, I'm thinking Flailmeister. I like.
0:16
Flailmeister, What about? I'm still doing it, So what
0:19
about the? Sex thing.
0:21
What about the could be? If you play your cards right,
0:23
huh? What about a hole keeper or the
0:26
holy? No.
0:28
No. Does it sound like another sex
0:31
thing? It does sound like an I think
0:33
the hole keeper sounds more like a sex thing than the other one.
0:35
Do meisters keep mice? I don't have any.
0:38
Mesters keep maces. So holes.
0:43
OK, who the fuck are you guys? Hi.
0:45
I'm Thomas. I'm playing Dalton Walls, who
0:47
happens to be in the body of the Ghoul.
0:51
Hi, I am Tom and I'm playing Colette who is in the body of a
0:54
zombie. I'm Mr. Paschke and I'm playing
0:57
Donnie, who's in the body of a ghost.
1:00
With that all being said, I guess there's only one thing we
1:03
can do now is is fly out. Fly out.
1:31
The last time we left you guys, you found yourselves in these
1:34
bodies, and you had met up with Zayla in some places.
1:38
She called nowhere, and you were in a room that had a bunch of
1:42
doors. You picked one of the doors,
1:44
which turned out to be like a fishing hamlet, and you're on
1:47
your quest to find this necromancer to bring it back to
1:49
hole. You go through.
1:51
You find yourself in front of a huge black puddle, which would
1:54
have been really good for you if you would have handled it right,
1:57
but you didn't. But it's OK.
1:58
You, a little girl named Elizabeth who is strangely OK
2:01
with you guys being who you are. Terrible.
2:03
Human being. Terrible human being, this this
2:06
small child. And then you end up running into
2:08
a bunch of hunters. Most children are, that is true.
2:12
You did end up running into a group of monster hunters and
2:15
dispatched with them fairly all right.
2:17
And after all the said and done there, said necromancer rose
2:21
from the marshes, confronted to you, and then subsequently
2:25
dipped out. I tried my darndest to to
2:27
confuse them. Yes, you did.
2:29
And trying to entice them with black Jelly beans, as Mr.
2:32
Patchkey was. Trying to disgust a human being
2:34
you normally are. Point of order, our devices that
2:39
were given to us to get the Necromancer, but what were they
2:41
called again? The waste it's.
2:43
Waste it's. There's basically just like a
2:45
Peep, you know, a little pudding filled marshmallow little gooey
2:48
thing. It's a Muppet pop tart filled
2:50
with pudding. Yes, that is the best way to put
2:53
it. So not the Jelly beans that I
2:55
imagined the last time. My bad.
2:57
No wonder I I didn't sell any of them.
3:00
No, obviously not. I mean, but if you're looking to
3:02
push some black Jelly beans, we can talk later.
3:03
It's me and about it. Hey, baby.
3:05
You want some Jelly beans? I got you.
3:08
You. Know the street value of those
3:09
beans is. That a windowless van that says
3:12
free black Jelly beans and then just.
3:14
A dime bag black Jelly beans you want to have good get.
3:17
Abducted. Again.
3:18
Yo, you want them good Jelly Bellies?
3:20
But I bet you could fit eight of those up my nose.
3:24
So right now you're in the middle of a cross hallway.
3:26
Ahead of you is the beach that the necromancer had walked up.
3:29
Behind you is the area where guys fought the monsters.
3:33
There's a locked gate to one side and there's another hallway
3:37
leading to your E Looking towards the east, you see a bit
3:41
of a glow coming from the down that hallway.
3:43
OK, Colette goes well. OK, So don't you still with me
3:50
bud? I'm hungry.
3:51
I'll take it as a no. Donnie, how are you doing?
3:54
I'm all ready to go. All right, OK, good.
3:58
I might need your help again. The corral, our bloodthirsty
4:01
murder hobo. But other than that I think,
4:04
well, we either go in the direction where our target
4:08
necromancer came from or this glowy door which gives me the
4:11
heebie Jeep. Well you can't go into work safe
4:14
in general, so I might as well follow the heebie jeebies.
4:19
Yeah, we're we're going to encounter heebie jeebies either
4:21
way. So, so glow you in for the glow.
4:24
All right, to the glow. So as you guys make your way
4:27
down the hallway, you do in fact see a door that you can see
4:30
light coming through all the way around it.
4:33
It's not like a piercing blinding light like you'd seen
4:35
earlier, it's just kind of a faint shine through.
4:38
OK, hey Donnie, how about you give your give your head a
4:42
little look, see his face through it?
4:44
I'm on it. So Donnie just kind of, you
4:46
know, floats on over there and turns a little invisible just in
4:49
case, you know, from the neck up, and then puts this invisible
4:52
head through the door. OK, as you put your head through
4:54
the door, it is in fact the same chamber that you guys initially
4:57
came in through where Zalia is meandering around.
4:59
Oh, yeah. Well, Oh yeah, she's trapped
5:01
there. She can't leave until we do
5:02
something about the necromancer, OK?
5:04
Well, we already learned that, that he's aware of us here.
5:08
We want to just try a different universe, place, planet, thing,
5:13
doorway. Well, I don't think we could go
5:14
back. I don't think we could come back
5:16
until we get this guy first, right?
5:18
Those are our orders. Follow me on this here.
5:21
We we showed up and hallway with a bunch of doors and that led us
5:24
to the fish people cannibal island thing where we killed a
5:29
bunch of dudes. I'm under the understanding that
5:32
the Lich isn't just here. No, it's well, it's either back
5:37
through this way. Well, no, actually, no, that's
5:39
wrong. It would have to be where they
5:40
came from, right through the I. Feel like the lich is a
5:43
transdimensional being that we used for doorways to control
5:46
different people. Well, it's not a liches
5:49
necromancer. Liches are a whole.
5:51
Necromancer, my bad, I'm saying the wrong thing.
5:53
It's all good. Well, all we know is not a
5:55
Dalton pooped it and he disappeared.
5:57
Where to? Who knows?
5:58
I'm thinking blaming me. I'm not blaming you.
6:01
You did great, buddy. I'm giving you a pat on the
6:02
back. And I give Dalton a pat on the
6:04
back. I briefly snapped at the ham.
6:09
You took the pinky, but that's OK.
6:11
I like I like enthusiasm. Keep that up.
6:13
So that way is a no go. I say we go into the spooky
6:17
woods. Marsh, right?
6:18
You said a Marsh, Kevin. It is basically just a beach
6:22
that leads off into dark water that just goes beyond.
6:25
And the necromancer came out from the.
6:27
Water. Yes, He rose from the water, out
6:29
from the dark, all right into so.
6:32
I go towards the water's edge and like a Colette just starts
6:35
looking out into the water, like looking to see if she could see
6:38
anything. It's pitch black.
6:39
Any light that you're bringing to it is basically just deadened
6:42
by the time you get towards the water.
6:44
I'm going to find a rock and I'm just going to skip the rock
6:48
along the water. OK, Do you feel a breeze coming
6:51
up from the water? This sand is wet underneath your
6:54
feet. It's eerily silent on this beach
6:56
area. If you go to skip a rock, it
6:58
bounces a couple times off the surface of the water and then
7:01
just disappears into the darkness.
7:04
And there's no sound. No, it's eerily silent in this
7:07
area. Like, not like that.
7:09
And there's nothing along the shoreline that like resembles
7:12
like a boat. Nope, there's really nothing
7:14
there. It's just sparing from that
7:15
point on. OK, so this necromance is
7:17
probably going to be like a fish person or something.
7:19
What the hell? I'll take a few steps into the
7:22
water and just start like splashing it.
7:24
Punching the water. Actively punching the water.
7:27
OK, punch all you like that. All you're doing is just making
7:29
ripples and splashes. There's really nothing.
7:32
Even the sound of the splashing seems deadened by the darkness
7:35
that is just beyond your guys's being.
7:37
Thomas, how far into the water do you go?
7:39
Just up to like my knees. OK, actually I join you in the
7:43
water too, but I go a little bit farther.
7:45
Am I? Am I getting a sense of how if
7:47
the water gets deeper and deeper?
7:49
It's progressively getting deeper the further you get into
7:51
it. It doesn't have like a sharp
7:53
drop off or anything, it's just gradually descends into an
7:56
abyss. OK, I stop at the waist and I'm
8:00
just going, OK, I'm getting bad vibe from this, so I'm just
8:03
going to get out. Dalton, I think, I think you got
8:07
to come out too. But there's nothing good in this
8:09
water. It's a freaking satellite.
8:11
I'm going to come get us. Where's his necromancer?
8:14
Let's just find them so I could just RIP them apart.
8:16
Easy as saying they're done, big boy.
8:18
What are our other options? The other options were to the
8:21
east was the hallway that led to the door where the light was
8:24
coming through, to the West is a rusted gate and to the north is
8:28
where you guys dispatched at the monster hunters all.
8:30
Right, well I say then we picked those guys clean.
8:34
So I say we the only other option is that gate and I can I
8:37
go walking towards the gate? What is the gate look like?
8:40
It's just looks like it's been corroded by the just sea water.
8:43
The salt is just broken down the metal on it it.
8:46
Looks like if you were like no lock.
8:47
There's no lock. If you were to give it a swift
8:49
kick, it'd probably just fall apart.
8:51
Look at Dalton and I go Dalton smash.
8:54
With pleasure and goes up and just flails at it.
8:58
Then this thing just crumbles at the mere touch of you punching
9:02
at it and beyond it. It leads to a turn that looks
9:05
like it's heading north. Right.
9:07
Well, now we're getting some ways and I lead the way.
9:11
Is there like an indication of light up ahead?
9:14
Actual like light. Not really, no.
9:16
It seems pretty dark and dank in here.
9:19
As you guys round the corner you get to an area where there's
9:22
just piles of rotting flesh and partially eaten bodies with
9:26
bones laying everywhere. It's basically the same room
9:29
that you guys initially came into when you first came.
9:32
Well, walk through the door. You guys have made a full loop
9:34
back to the beginning of the. What the hell Back where we
9:37
started from? Damn it, they're just punching.
9:40
Corpses. Again, the corpses.
9:42
You wrote that time I I I brought up that it may in fact
9:46
be much of its pocket dimension. I'm, I'm getting what you're
9:51
putting down, Don. So logically, if we went through
9:54
this room again, we would basically go back to to see a
9:59
girl. Yeah.
10:00
And I imagine right now like off in the distance while they're
10:03
discussing you just here in the background just.
10:10
Bones crunching and wet meat slapping.
10:13
If you were to head north, it does take a 90° turn, which
10:16
would lead you back to that big black puddle we.
10:19
Already did the big black puddle.
10:20
I don't think we want to do that.
10:22
Again. And then beyond that, it was the
10:24
room that the little girl Elizabeth was swatting in.
10:27
And then to the South of the black puddle is where you
10:29
dispatched of the monster hunters as well.
10:31
It's basically just a big loop there.
10:33
Just South of where the monster hunters are is the beach.
10:36
And then there's the the doorway to the to the east from there,
10:39
so. In the east, indoor, the east
10:41
brings us back to brings us back to.
10:43
Mainly, you guys are right here. OK?
10:46
This is the beach down here. This is where the doorway is
10:50
down that way. Monster hunters were dispatched
10:52
there. That's a black puddle.
10:53
This is where Elizabeth was. OK, so gentlemen, we're at.
10:57
We got a conundrum on our hands. So Donna, you think maybe the
11:01
our ghost friend might give us some hints?
11:04
Ghost friend I'm the ghost friend.
11:06
I mean like like search for subconscious of what my ghost
11:09
me. Remembers the the zela or
11:13
whatever. Zalia.
11:15
Zalia Yeah, that that damn it. I mean, we can go find out.
11:19
Yeah, 'cause I don't remember any glow.
11:28
Let's use our inside voices now. It's really hard to keep this
11:33
person's temper and lying. But you're doing a good job.
11:38
You're doing a good job so far, boss.
11:39
I got to say I do like this new attitude.
11:42
It it's it takes no shits and gives no fucks.
11:45
I enjoy that. Believe me, I do much better
11:47
than the then the douchebag professor that you normally.
11:52
I'm going to choose to remember that.
11:56
I say out of love and respect. Of course Dalton remembers this.
12:01
Tagline. But you know, I'm just, I'm just
12:03
kidding with you and I just give him a play punch in like the
12:06
shoulder. There's a a tense scene as I
12:09
have to restrain myself from latching back out.
12:13
So aside from the lady out the glowy door, like she wasn't
12:16
really like, right hostile to ours.
12:18
So she was just more indifferent, like why are you
12:20
here? Basically.
12:21
Yeah, we know that the necromancer has been like, oh
12:24
fuck you guys and left us alone in here.
12:27
Like, why don't we just go pick a different door?
12:28
Yeah, we we found him here. We explored the room world
12:32
thing. It's a giant loop, unless it's
12:35
some kind of puzzle we have to solve.
12:37
I'm just saying try door #2 see if there's a donkey in that one.
12:41
I mean that's stem like good logic to see if there's anything
12:44
different on the second pass around.
12:47
Wait, whatever happens with the little girl?
12:49
Elizabeth, she should still be there.
12:51
She should still be there, yeah. We didn't kill her.
12:54
No, we didn't. Water.
12:56
Cute. Yes, Dalton, we know.
13:01
So what do we want to do guys? Go possess the little girl, have
13:04
her go through the door just to mix things up.
13:06
Oh. OK.
13:08
I like this idea. You guys head back to the room
13:11
where Elizabeth's at. Sure.
13:12
OK, You open the door. She is in there.
13:15
She is reading through a book by candlelight.
13:17
What are you are? You guys still here?
13:19
No, no, we're not possess. OK.
13:22
What is it for? How many rounds is that?
13:25
It's like D4 rounds. I think it is D4.
13:27
OK, go ahead and roll me AD 4, then two.
13:30
OK, you've possessed the body of a small girl and what would you
13:35
like to do for the next two rounds?
13:37
Make a beeline for the glowing door.
13:40
OK, you guys make your way past the black puddle, past the
13:44
corpses of the monsters. You hang left and go towards the
13:48
door. You open the door and as you
13:50
open the door you feel this, this huge vacuum pull you
13:54
through the door. Oh fuck.
13:56
Holy. Shit, as you guys are pulled
14:00
through the door, you are back in the main chamber where Zalia
14:03
is standing there staring at you guys.
14:06
It might steal the little girl. Though you are not the little
14:08
girl anymore. What?
14:09
Did we learn here? Can't take people from door to
14:12
door. Apparently not.
14:13
Can I poke my head back through and to see if she's standing
14:16
there confused as heck? Sure, I poke my head back
14:18
through. She's standing there looking
14:21
confused, your head poking beyond the door, and then just
14:24
turns around and walks off. She doesn't say anything.
14:26
No, she doesn't say a damn thing.
14:28
She doesn't have much to say. She was just possessed by a
14:30
ghost. She's got a lot to process.
14:32
So I guess turn to Zayla and I go hello again.
14:36
Welcome back. Did you find Nabetha?
14:38
Oh, yeah, we, we, we found them. We found them.
14:42
But unfortunately they they they left just as soon as they can.
14:48
That does sound about right. She does not like to stay in one
14:51
place for very long. Yeah.
14:53
Does she got like a little like hangout?
14:55
Does she go to any like a she have a little like bod that she
14:58
likes to go to after doing what necromancers do?
15:01
No. Her necromancer gig is a full
15:03
time gig. She sort of passes between these
15:07
doorways whenever she feels like it.
15:09
I have not seen her if you were going to ask.
15:12
How long has it been since you saw this?
15:15
The Nabetha. Time is irrelevant here.
15:18
It could be minutes, it could have been years.
15:20
I I truly don't even know how long I've been here.
15:26
So what's your favorite? Door.
15:27
Oh, I don't go through the doors.
15:28
I'm literally stuck in this area.
15:31
There's quite a few folks that if they find their way here,
15:34
they go through whichever door piques their interest, but I
15:37
don't have any sort of personal preference which.
15:40
Door Have you heard good things? About, I mean, they all lead to
15:43
everyone's demise. So anybody goes through, doesn't
15:45
come out. I'm surprised to see you guys
15:47
here. Well, we are better than your
15:49
average adventurers when you agree.
15:52
I mean come on, look at all this here.
15:54
And I shake my zombie body and my hand falls off like.
15:58
Shit, you may want to pick that. Up.
16:00
Yeah, I have to come like snap it back on.
16:03
There we go. It's you sitting the Beth that
16:05
just travels between these doorways.
16:07
Yeah, I mean, beyond these doorways are different areas
16:10
that she has taken over. So she comes and goes as she
16:14
bleeds. But it's just one big circle.
16:17
In here, in this area, yeah, it's a big circle.
16:19
But beyond those doorways are, who knows, could be open fields.
16:23
It could be. So what you're saying is?
16:25
We need to just go through 1 and I'm just going to go towards the
16:29
closest door and just kick it open and go through.
16:31
OK, I get to yell. Surprise.
16:33
As you open the door, you feel again that vacuum pull the three
16:38
of you through. All of us, All three of you.
16:41
Here we go again and see is a lot.
16:46
And as you guys are pulled through, you are at the top of a
16:49
spiral staircase going down. Oh shit, OK, there's my Vertigo.
16:58
And here we go. And then I'm like half on all
17:02
fours. Just start.
17:04
Like running down the stair. Yeah, as you're going down, the
17:07
staircase just keeps going and going.
17:10
Donnie, we need to look for a leash for the.
17:13
I'm trying to help but you know waves hand through your.
17:16
No, I got. No, you are.
17:18
You're you're a good now. You're good.
17:20
You're good. Well, let's follow our beastly
17:22
boy now. Ronstone stairs alone or in
17:25
pairs. I do not know the song, but if I
17:30
would know, I would contribute. As you get to the bottom of the
17:33
staircase, Dalton, you find yourself in front of a huge,
17:36
heavy stone door. I'm going to start raging at it
17:39
and just like flinging, clouding my fist on it, clawing it.
17:43
OK, yes. Is there any light coming from
17:45
the door or like from the crack or is it just like so heavy that
17:49
it's like sealed off? It's pretty much sealed off.
17:51
You do see that there are torches that are, you know,
17:54
distributed throughout the staircase.
17:57
Throughout the staircase. Yeah, as you're going down the
17:59
spiral staircase, there's like torches lighting the way down.
18:02
I get to the door, well, I think Donnie would beat me to it, and
18:05
then I follow closely behind. Is there anything like else on
18:09
this door? Like any apart from Dalton's
18:11
hands? Like any markings, any etchings,
18:15
any semblance of how to open this thing.
18:17
No, unfortunately there's nothing there.
18:19
It's just a big solid stone door that as Dalton is pounding on
18:24
this thing, it's starting to slightly move inward.
18:27
OK, I I take notice of this and I just like brace myself and I
18:32
go well coming through and I just run at it and I shoulder
18:36
charge it. OK, as the both of you guys are
18:39
kicking the shit out of this door, it does slowly slide open
18:44
enough so that you guys have room to slide through.
18:46
Cool. As you guys get into the room
18:48
proper, you see a hallway with a a small desk off to your right
18:54
and a gated area in front of you with a long hallway beyond that
18:58
and a doorway to your left. This area appears to be like a
19:03
guards room, but there's no guards here and it's now empty
19:06
and silent except for a huge drunk owl.
19:10
It's wearing a leather jacket and has a sharpened iron beak.
19:13
It's over on the side on its perch, just swearing and
19:17
vomiting as it sees you guys coming through the doorway.
19:20
It lies up to you, chewing you back the way you came.
19:27
Well, who do we have here? Look at you, Mr. Mr. Owl.
19:31
Who who, who, who the fuck are you?
19:33
Get out of here. Well, come on now, let's not be
19:36
too lazy here. Fuck off.
19:39
Get out of here, OK? There's nothing in here.
19:41
For you. Whoa.
19:42
Well, well, there's something in.
19:43
Well, you are here. You're something.
19:46
What? What?
19:46
Who are you? What do you want?
19:48
Well, more importantly, who? Are you?
19:51
Where's Nebetha? Oh, oh, Nebetha, what do you
19:54
want with Nebetha? I want you to tell me where she
19:58
is before I start throwing these and I bring my fist up.
20:03
I mean adult less, not like too hasty at me.
20:05
Surely an owl of this smart looking nose where everything is
20:09
pissing me off. Yes, now that was made
20:12
abundantly clear. The fuck No no no, fuck this and
20:16
it starts to fly away. No, OK, I'm gonna try to grab
20:19
him and try to tackle him as he's trying to fly away.
20:21
OK, go ahead and make a make an agility test.
20:24
Agility. OK, sure.
20:26
That's the 13th. OK, you've grabbed this piss
20:30
drunk stale liquor stenched out and it's flapping and it's
20:34
pecking at you. I.
20:35
I am going to slam him on the ground, like since I grabbed him
20:38
by his feet, I'm just going to be like, I'm just trying to like
20:42
slam his face into the ground. I am going to do my best and
20:46
hold it down by the head and I yell at Donnie.
20:48
Donnie do I can Magic Bunny. All right, done.
20:52
It's time to shot. I possessed the owl for four
20:56
hours. OK, point of order.
20:59
Dalton has slammed the bird against the ground.
21:02
Go ahead and roll damage. OK, yeah, it'd be probably my
21:05
claw attack then. Probably.
21:07
That's five you. Killed the owl.
21:09
Tell me how you killed this drunken, vomiting, cursing owl.
21:13
So basically as he's like trying to fly away and everything, I
21:16
grab him by his feet and I follow through with like
21:19
dragging him to the ground and then just repeatedly like a club
21:22
which then turns into like a sack of organs just repeatedly
21:27
face slamming it into the ground.
21:29
And as you're turning this once majestic avian into a pile of
21:34
goo, you notice that a ring of keys falls out of the leather
21:39
clothing that it was wearing and lands just beyond the puddle of
21:43
dead owl. I'm just, well, I think the
21:45
owl's still alive and I'm still trying to hold.
21:47
It's like it's fighting back. Am I still possessing?
21:50
It you had not got a chance to possess it yet as the.
21:53
Attack was very fun, we got a four.
21:58
Maybe we'll let you. Make one good one I.
22:00
Imagine that you managed to like possess it for like that half
22:03
second before the head hit the ground and it just kind of
22:06
ejected you ghostly form out of the corpse.
22:09
In that one instant you saw it's whole life flash before your
22:13
eyes and then. How many tops do I have to die?
22:19
And I like I realized like, wait, what do you mean die?
22:21
And I look down and I see the owls not moving anymore and I
22:24
see just blood and viscera. I'm like, oh, you killed it a
22:28
while ago didn't you, dog? Just like, just pounded him.
22:32
I'm still holding on to it. I'm like OK, OK, EW, gross.
22:38
Just beyond the puddle and where the key ring had lie, there's
22:41
another doorway that seems to be closed and then back behind you
22:45
is a hallway to the east and then a hallway to the South that
22:49
has a gate that you can see through that the hallway
22:51
stretches beyond. OK.
22:53
Where did the owl hide his booze?
22:55
I can't drink it being a ghost but.
22:57
I mean, that would have been a question for the owl, but he's
22:59
dead now. How did the owl open the
23:02
bottles? He has an iron beak.
23:04
He just popped the top of like a beer.
23:07
That tracks. OK, no more OWL related
23:09
questions for me. So I pick up the keys and you
23:14
said there was a desk. Yes, it looks like there's a
23:16
small desk. There doesn't seem to be much of
23:19
anything on it. It looks like this area was once
23:21
like a a guards station. It's been long abandoned.
23:24
I. Don't know.
23:26
I think we just killed the guard, and I think so.
23:28
What do you mean we Dalton killed the guy?
23:30
Dalton went ham on that owl. You had to come in.
23:33
It wasn't so wise. Can I inspect the desk?
23:36
Yeah, I mean, inspecting the desk, you see scattered papers
23:40
that have information that doesn't mean anything to
23:42
anybody. Schedule for his AA meetings.
23:45
Yeah, and they're all littered with owl pellets all about.
23:49
Just like piles of little bones exactly mushed into.
23:52
Circles. The big one used to be a
23:54
squirrel. Several squirrels.
23:58
So I take the keys. You said there was a door.
24:01
Yes. It could just be a doorway you.
24:03
This whole area smells like old piss and vomit and it just reeks
24:06
in. Here I thought you're making a
24:07
Cinnabon. It could smell like a Cinnabon
24:10
if the Cinnabon smell like piss and shit vomit.
24:12
Well, I mean. It depends on what mall.
24:14
You're in just smell. Like or which airport?
24:18
So I go to the door and I check to see if it's locked.
24:21
The door is not locked, it opens up to it appears to be a small
24:24
storage room and as you open the door, yet more piss and vomit
24:27
just attacks the sense. Oh my God, it smells like a
24:30
crazy cat lady's house. You do see that off to the side
24:33
there's a small chest and it looks like it's somebody was
24:36
sleeping in the storeroom. Was the owl sleeping there?
24:39
Like is it like feathers or any other like shit to indicate that
24:42
this is the thing that was that's been living here?
24:44
Yes, yeah. You can see more pellets in here
24:46
and it it basically of the owl. Pellets and yeah, I would like
24:51
to look at what's inside the chest.
24:53
Fantastic opening the chest. I don't have to open it.
24:56
OK, well, he can't open it. I can't open it.
24:59
I can still look at what's inside.
25:01
OK, roll me AD 20. Oh.
25:03
That's the 13. Looking in the chest, you see a
25:06
bouquet of flowers, and as you poke your head in there, the
25:09
flowers seem to be communicating with you.
25:13
You like you're hearing voices coming from the flowers
25:16
themselves. Oh.
25:17
Shit. They're not saying anything
25:19
intelligible, it's just random gibberish and muddled letters
25:23
together. Calm down that little one at a
25:25
time. Can't make it out what you're
25:26
starting to tell to hear flowers.
25:28
Even when you try to calm them down, it it's an intelligible
25:31
language that they're they're speaking in.
25:34
Or pull my head out of the chest and it's like, yeah, there's
25:38
talking bouquet in here, but I can't make sense of it.
25:40
What do you guys want to open this up?
25:42
I don't know if it's really worth it.
25:44
I go bouquet. Yeah, stranger things have
25:47
happened. And I go, and I open the chest.
25:50
As you open the chest, ear piercing screams come from the
25:54
chest the the flowers just start screaming.
25:58
So they're screaming meanies. Yeah.
26:01
I punch the bouquet. As you punch the bouquet, the
26:04
pedals scatter about, the ear piercing scream dies off and it
26:09
is silent once again. Thank.
26:11
You Don. Other than that, there's really
26:13
nothing else in this room all. Right.
26:14
I'm really beginning to hate this place.
26:17
I agree with that. What do you say we get the fuck
26:20
out of this place? Sucks.
26:23
This seems pointless. Well, apart from the owl seemed
26:25
really nice. Owl was an asshole.
26:27
I mean, he told us we should just leave and there was nothing
26:29
for us here. If anything, we could have just
26:32
listened to him. It saved a lot of time.
26:33
You're trying my patience too now.
26:35
As you guys leave the room, you get back into the hallway proper
26:38
and there's a hallway beyond gates of going to the South, and
26:41
then there's a doorway that's open with a hallway going to the
26:46
east. And that's the only way to go.
26:49
That's the only two ways you got.
26:50
South or east? Aside from the staircase behind
26:53
you that you guys walk out so. South or east?
26:56
Let's go E just I start start heading that way.
26:59
OK, as you guys walk down the hallway, you come up to a door
27:02
just as you're getting 20 pieces in and the store is locked.
27:05
I take the key ring, actually wait, wait.
27:08
Hey Donnie, want to give a little Pixie doodle butt that's.
27:10
What I'm good at? Hell yeah.
27:13
And I give them a pat on the back and my hand falls through
27:15
it. All right.
27:17
Damn, all right, I do the whole invisible first, head second.
27:21
OK, as you peek through, you do see that is just more hallway
27:24
leading down that leads to an open room.
27:28
Actually as you're poking your head through.
27:29
Donnie, go ahead and make me a presence test one, OK?
27:36
It just appears that there is a hallway going down.
27:39
The Room. Explodes.
27:41
All right, it's just the hallway.
27:43
Nothing to be concerned about. It's just a straight shot.
27:46
Donnie, I trust you with my life and I check the door to see if
27:50
it's locked. The door is locked.
27:52
All right, I take my key ring my my brand new key ring and I
27:56
Jingle the keys and I just start trying.
27:59
I try the first key on the the key ring OK.
28:01
Do you hear the lock open and the door?
28:04
Actually, point of order. How many keys are on this key
28:06
ring? Oh.
28:06
Fuck, I don't know. Roll AD 13.
28:09
There's two. Cool.
28:11
So you pick the right one, so as you turn the lock, the lock
28:14
opens and the door is free to open.
28:16
And I just walk in. As you walk in and step down you
28:20
hear a click fuck and this is a good time.
28:23
Take a break I. Did not see that
28:34
coming. Bad news, scum.
28:38
News scum. You died.
28:40
You died. Sorry.
28:41
Sorry. Even worse news.
28:42
Worse. You've been resurrected by a mad
28:44
necromancer. Necromancer.
28:46
Why? Why does it matter?
28:47
Doesn't matter. What's dead should stay dead.
28:50
Stay dead, especially considering the fact that your
28:53
grade was warm, calm and bleak more than anybody could ever
28:57
wish for these days these. Days and kill your necromancer.
29:00
Play as one of four undead to regain your peace.
29:04
Take it back and the only way to do it is to find her and kill
29:07
her and break the spell. With 32 pages of rotten vowel
29:11
content, 6 dark locations to roam, you can fight other
29:15
undead, thieves who seek to rob the graves, scholars and seek of
29:19
forbidden knowledge, or adventurers trying to cleanse
29:22
the dungeon for glory and gold. Follow the link below to get
29:25
your copy. Fight, die, repeat.
29:40
Hell is real is real. Hell is not fire and flame.
29:45
Flame is forms, forms and architecture of obligation.
29:50
Hell Spawn is a stand alone tabletop role-playing game of
29:54
multiversal hunts, dance songs and the tools forged to bring
29:58
them back. You are that tool.
30:02
You walk the dying worlds with the chain in one hand and
30:07
torments in the other. Based on the Merkport Engine.
30:10
Compatible with cyborgs, pirate board, Frontier scum and more.
30:14
But it stands on its own. Over 100 pages, full colored
30:19
hardcover hardcover, built to burn to burn.
30:23
Hell is coming, is coming. The Kickstarter pre launch is
30:27
live now. Live now.
30:29
Follow the link below and below the wheel.
30:32
Turns, turns. You are sent sent.
30:49
Come one, come all, join us as we dive into the dying world of
30:54
more Ford and the Board universe.
30:57
Whispers of the Dying Lands is a podcast with 1 mission to spread
31:02
the word of Mecker Bell. As third party content creators
31:05
share the prophecies of Verhoe I.
31:09
Your host Oloskos teams up with everyone's favorite scum, Iron
31:13
Tusk Tevin. From Flail to the Face, we sit
31:16
down with content creators to help promote and try to give
31:20
maximum exposure and efforts to support their crowdfunding
31:24
campaigns. Welcome back to Flail the Face.
31:41
These guys have gotten themselves in a situation going
31:44
down a hallway and stepping on the stone plate and you hear a
31:47
click. Colette, go ahead and roll an
31:50
agility test. DR10-O here.
31:53
We go, come on baby 01010 on the dot.
31:57
Actually wait, let me see if I have anything.
32:00
It was a what role? Agility.
32:02
Agility, obviously there's any modifiers to that?
32:05
Well, would that be like I had a meat mouth?
32:07
You'd use the zombie one. Oh, a zombie one, right?
32:10
That's -2 fuck. No.
32:13
Do you have an omen? Do you have an omen?
32:15
I have oh God do I use it. It's my last one.
32:19
I. Mean it's this a use it or lose
32:21
it situation where if you don't use it, you're completely aft.
32:24
I mean, well, if any damage would happen, fuck it, you know
32:28
what? I'm going to use it.
32:29
No. Cast omen.
32:30
Last omen. Here we go.
32:31
Come on. Fuck.
32:32
That was an 8. Even worse.
32:35
As you step down and you hear the click, the floor falls out
32:39
from underneath you and it opens up to a shallow pit.
32:43
As you look into the shallow pit, a series of spikes shoot up
32:46
from the floor. Go ahead and roll me AD 4.
32:48
Well, this is on brands for me out of the three.
32:52
You take 3 damage. Ouch.
32:54
All right, so I am down. Let's see to 4.
32:58
OK, fuck. Oh, your personal pain seems to
33:01
have lessened this body's rage. Do more of that.
33:05
And there is the Dalton I know and hate.
33:08
This sucks. And I just see like a spike
33:11
through like my thigh, one sticking out of my shoulder and
33:15
one sticking out of like my kidney.
33:17
And I'm thinking, you know, this is how I always thought
33:19
acupuncture would know. But at least it doesn't hurt.
33:23
This is 1 benefit to being a fleshy meat bag.
33:26
And hang on one second. And I just sort of just like
33:28
slowly pull myself out of the spikes and shake myself off.
33:33
How far down am I from my compatriots?
33:36
You didn't actually fall down into the pit, the spikes shot up
33:40
from it. Oh, so I'm just oh, oh.
33:43
You're still on the same level as you are, pulling yourself
33:46
from the spikes. The spikes themselves help you
33:48
by retracting the plates and the floor reengage, and that trap
33:52
has already reset as you are composing yourself afterwards.
33:56
Note to self watch where you step.
33:59
As you say that, you hear fucking he.
34:03
Walked back onto another trap and reset the trap again.
34:07
You hear shifting on the ground and you hear like a flickering
34:11
noise, flickering. As you're standing there,
34:14
confused by what you're hearing, you see a huge imposing black
34:19
snake making its way down down the hallway towards you.
34:23
Oh. Shit.
34:24
This thing is probably 5 gallon barrel size around oh fuck at
34:30
the head and gets bigger from there.
34:32
Well. This is a big boy.
34:34
It is, and it is making its way down the hallway towards your
34:38
direction. Well, we know where the switch
34:40
is to make the spikes come out, so if we time this just right,
34:44
we might get stabbed too. I suggest we do something
34:47
because I feel in a very, very strong urge to just go punch it.
34:51
I could become a spiritual weapon for D4 rounds stealing
34:54
Ted damage. I bring this up because it's on
34:57
my character sheet and I haven't done it yet.
34:59
OK. I mean, there's options that we
35:01
could do. And as you guys are discussing
35:03
this, the snake is growing closer and closer.
35:06
OK, well we don't know how many other triggers there are, just
35:08
in case there are other ones like litter around.
35:10
Is there debris or anything on the floor?
35:13
Yeah, there's random stones and old burnt porches on the ground.
35:17
I am going to like because I don't really have a lot of
35:20
manual dexterity in my hands. I'm just going to like grab a
35:23
decent sized rock and like two hand over throw it.
35:27
OK, go ahead. Make.
35:29
I guess I'd be a presence test, wouldn't it?
35:31
Yep, I miss with a 3. It's like, yeah, and I go to
35:35
throw it and it like actually slips out of my hands behind me
35:38
and just falls on the ground behind.
35:41
Me. As you do that, the snake stops
35:43
and rears up and slithers back into the room that was in.
35:47
That motherfucker. It just.
35:50
OK. It backtracked into the room
35:52
that it was in. I go running after it OK.
35:55
The dog. Go ahead and make an agility
35:57
test to see if you can avoid the trap.
36:00
That's an 8. That is an 8.
36:01
As you step down, you hear the click.
36:03
The doors open up and the spikes shoot back up through the floor.
36:06
2 -1 so one point of damage. All right, so as you are stabbed
36:14
through the foot, it is just enraging you even more.
36:17
This is the most infuriating situation that you could
36:20
possibly be in right now. Fuck this and I'm just continue
36:24
running. OK, you make it past there.
36:26
You get into a room where this large snake is basically stuffed
36:30
into this room with its head underneath its body.
36:33
It's coiled up to the point where its body is basically on
36:36
top of its head. Oh, I go running, charging right
36:39
at it. I'm going to try to dig my claws
36:41
right into its face. OK, go for it.
36:43
It has no armor. The more you look at it, it
36:46
doesn't look as imposing as as. It just looks pathetic.
36:49
That makes me even more angry. So it's.
36:51
Just a scared little guy. And that's a 12 to hit.
36:56
He's scared. Scared little guy?
36:57
Well. Now he's dead.
36:58
That will hit it. Four damage.
37:01
All right, you hear it just hiss in pain as you slice at it.
37:05
It's still up, but it is not looking good.
37:07
Just blood and goo just dripping out of where you've slashed at
37:12
it. I would assume we go to
37:14
initiative at this point. That would be correct.
37:18
D6 That's a one. All right, so out of fear, this
37:21
snake lacklusterly goes and snaps at you.
37:26
What is A7? OK.
37:28
And it makes purchase. The bite is as pathetic as the
37:32
snake looks itself. So it's AD 2 damage.
37:36
That's. 2. An armor of two.
37:39
Yeah, I forgot I had armor too. So.
37:42
OK, what was your armor? D2.
37:44
OK, so go ahead and roll the armor and take off the damage.
37:47
That is A1 all right, so 3, so 3 damage.
37:51
OK, perfect. So no, actually.
37:53
Oh no, two damage, I'm sorry. So I'm down to 5.
37:55
So that was the snake's turn. I could heal people if anyone's
37:58
really that bad. As long as I eat brains I'm fine
38:01
because according to the zombie I can't die.
38:03
I just I just get negative modifiers to my stats.
38:06
As long as I eat brains I gain back 1H.
38:08
Pit I can just okay, I'm just I feel like I can do more than
38:12
just possess things through. Balls if anything Dalton.
38:17
Like you can heal Dalton. Hey, buddy, you want some heal
38:21
there? I'll take that as a yes.
38:27
Yeah, that's a four on my D4 for D4 HP to heal damage from living
38:33
thing. Oh, from a living thing. 00.
38:36
Yeah, fine. Print there.
38:37
Shoot. You took damage from the spike
38:40
and two from the snake, right? Snakes are alive if I'm cracked.
38:45
I blocked the. I blocked the damage from the
38:47
snake. Oh well then I can't heal you.
38:51
I've just wasted our time. Now hang on unnecessarily, I
38:58
guess I'll I'll take a swipe at this bad boy.
39:01
You're still on the other side of the spikes.
39:02
Oh shit. Dalton's the only one that
39:04
rushed. To drop just taking another
39:06
swing. Make it happen.
39:07
That is a 14. OK, we're all your demise.
39:12
Five damage. Tell me how you do it.
39:14
Yeah, so I basically like claws down through the top and I hit
39:18
that soft spot on the on the top of the head and just kind of go
39:21
right down the fontanelle through and my fist goes
39:25
through. And now my like forearm is stuck
39:27
in the skull of this snake as my hands out the bottom and I'm
39:31
just OK waving around and the body's just kind of flopping.
39:34
OK, as you're doing this you see that beyond the snake there is a
39:38
gate and the gate opens and you see shadowy type hands grabbing
39:43
the snake and pulling it into beyond pitch black darkness.
39:47
The Colette tries to get past the spikes to try to get some
39:52
brain matter that might have fallen out of the snake's head.
39:55
I will allow it. Wait wait and I guess I will
39:58
roll see if I see any chunks of brain matter.
40:01
You know what, with all the what Dalton's done, there's bits of
40:05
brain chunks around. The finesse of Dalton.
40:08
Yes, and as you're picking it up that you can see these shadowy
40:11
hands are pulling this huge snake body Into Darkness.
40:15
And as the head gets pulled into this weird dark pitch blackness,
40:20
the gate closes back behind it. Oh shit, I'm just making
40:24
horrible slurping noises, slurping up brain matter and I
40:27
look at my buddies and I go well that's weird.
40:31
I investigate. I'm just like flinging my arm
40:35
and the few chunks and stuff are just.
40:37
I grab your hand and I just start licking your fingers for
40:40
any more brain matter. Get off of me and just like,
40:45
chug away. What?
40:47
Come on, what? What are you investigating
40:49
there, Miss Basking the door closing, yes.
40:51
I do the the third time today I move my head through invisibly.
40:56
OK, you push your head through the gate and it is pitch black.
41:00
There's just darkness. There is the darkest darkness
41:03
you've ever seen. What'd you see, Donnie?
41:05
I looked into the abyss. There was nothing but darkness.
41:09
Cold. Sounds like my first marriage.
41:12
I hear that that beyond that, there's nothing else in this
41:15
room. Is the door heavy?
41:17
Into the darkness. Oh, I thought it was closed.
41:19
I wouldn't know lose hand through door just.
41:24
All right. Well, I guess my question is, is
41:26
it like the wooden door? Is it a stone door?
41:28
It's like a metal gating. Oh.
41:30
It's a metal gate, OK. Yeah, All right.
41:32
That's just a big wall of darkness.
41:34
Beyond that. Oh.
41:35
It's just a big wall of darkness.
41:36
Yeah. Holy shit.
41:38
OK. And there was no other door
41:39
through the spike room. No, it was just a long haul
41:42
hallway going east to West. Well, once more into the breach,
41:46
gentlemen. And I just fuck it.
41:49
I just go through. Into the darkness.
41:51
Into the darkness. I will follow suit the only way.
41:55
It's the only way to go. Yeah, all the cool kids are
41:57
doing it, Peer. Pressure.
41:58
OK, as you guys jump into the darkness, you feel this
42:03
deafening silence completely encompassing you.
42:06
You can't see anything. You can't feel anything.
42:08
You don't know where any of you are in relation to each other.
42:11
Oh shit. Doesn't feel like you're
42:12
falling. It doesn't feel like you're on
42:14
stable ground. You're just existing.
42:17
And then the next thing you know, you find yourself at the
42:20
top of a spiral staircase. Does it look like the spiral
42:24
staircase we were at before? Yes it does.
42:27
Motherfucker. And then just start scrambling
42:30
down the steps again. OK, scramble down the steps.
42:33
You find the hallway that you guys were initially in.
42:36
Where or Dalton dispatched that drunken owl To the east is the
42:40
hallway where the spice and the make was, and a straight ahead
42:44
of you is a hallway that's blocked off.
42:46
It has a series of gates blocking this hallway off that.
42:49
In the hallway itself, it's illuminated by green torches
42:52
staggered through to the hallway beyond these gates.
42:57
It's just screams necromance and now it, doesn't it?
42:59
Let's look at the gates. Yeah, let's go the way we
43:02
haven't been yet. OK, the gates do appear to be a
43:07
lot more solid than the ones you've seen before.
43:10
OK, I I go up to the middle one and test it to see if it's like
43:16
locked. It is locked and it is solid.
43:19
Oh. You know Keyhole to speak of.
43:22
There's a keyhole. All right, right.
43:24
One more key left. Video game logic says it has to
43:27
work. Well, I take one key and I just
43:29
put it in the hole and try to see if it works.
43:32
Go ahead and make a presence test.
43:38
That is A7. The key goes in, but it doesn't
43:41
seem to activate the tumblers. All right, so I got one more
43:45
key. I'll try the other one.
43:46
OK, I can use that die. This time I'm going to use
43:49
another one and that is a 16. You hear the tumblers click and
43:53
this big solid, heavy gate is free and open.
43:56
Cool. As you walk through the gate,
43:59
you see to either side large empty cells with strange
44:03
mushrooms growing on one of the walls.
44:07
I walk over to it and I just actually wait.
44:09
I go to the South. There's nothing else in the cell
44:11
other than these mushrooms. There's cells on either side on
44:14
the West and the east. Appears to be hay beds in there
44:17
for whoever was here being held in there.
44:19
Both of the cells are open and you notice that to the east that
44:24
the mushrooms seem to be growing more predominant and just a huge
44:29
bushel of them on the southeast wall.
44:31
I'm going to take a couple of. Them OK as you pick up the
44:34
mushrooms they have a weird fragrance to them, almost a
44:38
sweet smell to them OK? Smells like a Cinnabon.
44:41
It does smell like a Cinnabon but they have a weird texture to
44:45
them, almost like if a layer of like a spore like dust kind of
44:49
on them. OK.
44:51
I pluck a couple and like I feel like the moisture like on the
44:55
tips of my fingers like. Go ahead, lick it.
44:59
I would if I could put it in your.
45:01
Mouth. Well, Dalton, since I licked
45:03
your fingers already, how about I give you the courtesy of you
45:06
lick in my fingers? I will bite them if you put them
45:08
near me. Well noted.
45:10
All right, Yeah, I'm bite the tips of his fingers.
45:13
Do that, big guy. OK.
45:15
How many licks does it take to get to the center of me one?
45:20
You've just bit off the fingers of Colette, but you can also
45:23
taste the sweet powder that's on there as it touches your tongue.
45:27
You can feel that it's got the burning sensation like a poison,
45:30
but being as you're already dead, it can't kill you.
45:33
So you can feel that it's, it's burning and kind of foaming up
45:37
in your mouth. It's.
45:38
Trying to kill you. But it's not like affecting you,
45:41
if that. Save those for later.
45:44
Way ahead of you, big guy. I assume that Dalton bit off my
45:48
index and my middle finger, so I'm just holding some mushrooms
45:52
in between my ring and my pinky and my thumb and I'm just
45:55
putting them in my pocket. Perfect.
45:57
As you were pulling these mushrooms off the wall, you'd
46:00
notice that back behind where the mushrooms are appears to be
46:03
like a small tunnel like dug into the wall.
46:06
Hey now. Does this look like something we
46:08
could possibly crawl through? It does.
46:11
It looks like somebody has already crawled through it and
46:15
burrowed from the cell to who knows where.
46:17
Wasn't Elizabeth, was it? No, now she doesn't go in this
46:20
area. All right.
46:22
I guess I will just start leading the way now.
46:25
OK, squeeze through. You would probably have to get
46:29
on all fours and kind of army crawl through.
46:31
This seems like forever, roughly, you know, 30 to 45
46:35
feet. As you get to the end of the
46:37
tunnel, you see that it leads into yet another cell.
46:40
You basically fall from the tunnel onto a hay bed.
46:44
And this cell is small and cramped and it's reeks of rotten
46:48
bodies and littered with bones. Colette, you're the 1st this
46:52
went through. Yes, go ahead and roll me a
46:55
presence test as you get in there.
46:57
Roll. Presence that is actually, let
47:01
me see presence if there's anything more to that.
47:03
Hang on, I don't believe I do. No, it's just a flat 10.
47:06
A10 OK, it's just reeks in here and you don't see anything of
47:12
worth or note. Just the just the hay bed and
47:15
just the cell. I'm just littered with
47:18
desiccated bodies and a bloody mess.
47:21
Well, room surface hasn't been here.
47:23
Apart from that, you're all clear, boys.
47:25
Let's go. I follow my way, my actions as I
47:30
go. Is there any way out of the
47:32
cell? The cell door is closed As you
47:37
guys get into the room proper, it is fairly cramped.
47:40
You can see the cell door is closed.
47:41
You're kind of walking amongst the bones and the bodies in this
47:45
room, but you know you're not alone.
47:47
On the other side of the gate you see again a cloaked figure
47:51
with a skull mask holding a staff.
47:55
Well, this is more like. It now maybe you'll answer my
47:57
questions. Who are you, who are you?
47:59
Where are you from and why are you here?
48:02
We're but Lola, Pop Tarts salesman.
48:05
You care for a first sample. And as you hold out the waste it
48:10
in your hand, the being freezes are you less.
48:14
From Hold No, it's a bit of a complicated back story.
48:18
What? I'm a ghost?
48:20
Why are you here? To find you for.
48:23
What? At this point is he close enough
48:26
to the bars and if I throw myself against the bars I can
48:28
reach through and grab him? I would assume no.
48:31
She has got a safe distance but the bars could be broken through
48:35
I'm. Going to throw myself at him.
48:37
OK, go ahead and make a strength check.
48:39
That is a 12. As you hit the bars, the door
48:43
comes off the hinges and lays open at the Bethas feet.
48:49
Ohh shit guitar OK. Is it worth to try and possess
48:56
her? I mean if it'll immobilize her
48:59
for like a second they could just take a waste it and then
49:02
just like just slap it on her. If I eat a waste of water that's
49:06
seen her, does that send me back to hole or does that send me and
49:12
her back to hole? Well, you can't really eat
49:15
anything. So then once I stop possessing
49:18
her, I can then eat my wasted. Oh, oh, wait, yes.
49:21
So if you possessed her, you can get her to eat?
49:24
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, you could always try.
49:28
I would like to possess her for four rounds.
49:33
OK, as she's standing there in shock, focused on the gate
49:38
that's at her feet, you enter her body and you enter through
49:43
her body and out the other way. Shit, that's only one round.
49:48
As she realizes what has happened, she looks back at you
49:52
and says I created these and dead.
49:54
They have no effect on the effect role initiative.
49:57
OK, I got, I got it this time 5. OK, let's do what I'll.
50:04
Go first. Fuck it.
50:05
I'm just going to say. So you know what we're all
50:09
about, right? I'm pretty hungry, so you know
50:11
what I want, bitch? And I just go at her, OK,
50:16
Strength +2, right? So that's 11.
50:18
Both my strength it's 2, so that's at 13.
50:21
OK, that would be a hit, yes. And it says D4 weapon of choice.
50:26
Whatever D4 weapon you would have, but it's going to do D4
50:29
damage. OK, I don't have a weapon.
50:32
I think I just have No, no, I remember now I had like a bone
50:35
that I like made into like a dagger.
50:37
So I'm just going to attack with my dagger.
50:40
OK, bone. And that is a four.
50:43
OK, you take a swipe at her with this dagger and it catches her
50:48
cloak. There's quite a bit more
50:50
resistance than you're expecting.
50:51
It's a D4 armor, so go in real D4 and see what gets through. 1.
50:58
OK, so was that three points? Yeah.
51:01
OK, so it catches the cloak and it tears and you feel that it's
51:06
caught something beyond that cloak.
51:07
And she winces ever so slightly. Who's next?
51:10
I would like to become a spectral weapon before her Oz
51:14
Guilt and damage. OK, hell.
51:16
Yes. When you've been hot, you've
51:18
been hot. That's a three.
51:19
I'll take it. All right, who is going to be
51:21
wielding the spectral weapon? Dalton.
51:22
That's got to be Dalton. What type of weapon would this
51:25
be? It is explained Owl.
51:29
I transform into the ghost of a drunk owl wearing a leather
51:32
vest. Dalton grabs the special owl by
51:35
the legs. Sounds.
51:39
Allow it. That is an 18.
51:42
That is a solid hit. So it's AD 10 damage.
51:44
Yes. That is A9.
51:48
Right. As you swing this spectral
51:52
leather vested iron beaked owl you catch Nabetha square in the
52:00
chest and she is thrown back off of balance and not looking good.
52:06
Now as she's doing this, you see that she taps her staff against
52:10
the ground and a large long blade comes out of the top and
52:14
now it resembles A scythe. Oh shit.
52:17
And she is going to swing at, well, actually being as Donnie
52:22
as a spectral owl. Odds will be Colette even will
52:25
be Dalton swings at Colette. Oh goody.
52:30
So go ahead and make a defense role.
52:31
Bring it you. Undead whore.
52:34
That is a 17 -, 2. That's a 15.
52:37
OK, so as she's off balance swinging wildly with the site,
52:42
she does miss so initiative. As she's misses, I just hold up
52:45
the middle. Well, I try to hold up my middle
52:48
fingers, but I forgot that Dalton ate one of them, so it's
52:51
just the one finger. Got it A.
52:53
Little stub A. Little stub it.
52:57
All right, I'll roll initiative at this time.
52:59
I'll do it again. That is a. 4.
53:01
All right. Us again.
53:02
All right, I'll continue swinging my my buddy Donnie
53:07
here. That is a 12. 12 is a hit.
53:13
Probably 4 damage. And D4 armor that cloak.
53:17
That is 2SO2 damage. All right, still reeling from
53:22
the last Owl attack, you catch her again, and she's seems to be
53:27
staggering as she stands. I'm, I'm swinging at her now.
53:31
Fuck it. I don't need to do anything
53:32
fancy. I'm just, I'm just swinging,
53:33
swinging. OK. 5th fucking Teen +2.
53:37
That's a hit. Fuck yes, I take a hint out of
53:40
Dalton's playbook and I run at her and I pounce and I just
53:43
like, take my dagger and I stab her in the shoulder.
53:46
OK for one different one damage and it's not even worth it.
53:51
One that completely negates it. OK shit, you jump on here and go
53:56
to stab her. Yeah, like God, yeah.
53:58
Like OK, I'm hoping like my body weight will help topple her too.
54:03
OK, so as you jump on here and you go to stab her in the
54:06
shoulder, the cloak is deflecting this.
54:08
Yeah, and as she's got a hold of you, she takes the tip of the
54:13
site and taps you with it. Go and roll me AD 4.
54:16
Oh shit. That are the four.
54:18
Nothing seems to happen, you just merely feel the touch of
54:22
the scythe on you, but you don't feel different.
54:24
It's not like she's attacking you with it or stabbing you with
54:27
it, just merely tapping you with it.
54:30
I don't feel anything else. You don't feel anything else
54:32
yet? Yeah.
54:34
Yeah, OK. Role Initiative.
54:38
OK, anybody else want to do it this time?
54:41
Sure. D6 Razor that's 5.
54:45
Another round house with the Owl Club.
54:47
OK, now know that she is holding Colette's still swinging zombie
54:53
body. OK.
54:54
That is a 12. That is a hit.
54:56
I am dazed at like the fact. Like what the fuck was that for
55:00
you stupid? Oh my fucking God, that's ten
55:03
shit. D4 armor. 3 so 7.
55:06
OK, as you hit her with this, she lets Colette go and she
55:12
drops the scythe and she drops to her knees and you just hear
55:15
her muttering I can't go back. I can't go back.
55:18
I can't go back. I cannot go back.
55:20
You can and you will, and I'm going to jam a waste it into her
55:23
mouth, OK? Hell yeah.
55:25
As you jam the waste it into the mouth, you see the body start
55:30
melting in front of you into a pile of goo, and then that goo
55:36
forms into a ball and then that ball blips with a flash of light
55:40
and is gone. OK that was the coolest shit I
55:43
have ever seen I guess. That's mission A comp.
55:47
My turn next. I I go to inspect the scythe,
55:50
I'm like Gimme, Gimme the nice shiny.
55:53
Pointy thing. As you go to look at the scythe,
55:55
the blade itself starts to instantaneously rust and crumble
55:59
into dust. Wow.
56:00
In your hand. That was just a fucking stick.
56:02
Yeah, well, that's fucking boring.
56:04
Well, I guess all's well that ends well, gentlemen.
56:07
So call the doc. Yeah, let's go back to Hot Mom.
56:10
She she said we were just supposed to eat the wasted when
56:12
we accomplished the mission, right?
56:14
Yeah, that is correct. Now it's.
56:15
Yeah. All right.
56:17
Bottoms up. I attempted to eat mine, Kevin.
56:21
OK, as all three of you eat the wasted, your bodies melt,
56:25
including yours Donnie into like some sort of ectoplasmic goo.
56:29
They all form into a ball and then within a flash of light you
56:33
guys are gone and you wake up back in the chairs that you were
56:36
strapped to. Fingers.
56:38
Back on hole in front of Doctor Brock Martin.
56:42
Feels good to be myself again. I just count all the fingers on
56:45
my hands. Me, for such a dark vision of
56:52
reality, I was under the impression that when you died,
56:58
you went to either a beautiful Meadow full of Cyborg grass and
57:05
Cyborg trees, Cyborg flowers, or you went to the other place that
57:10
was full of alpacas. And as you guys start to regain
57:16
your vision and get back to consciousness, you see Doctor
57:19
Throckmorton standing in front of you, just slow clapping.
57:22
Well done. Well done everybody.
57:25
Harold, please take Nabetha. And as you look over, you see
57:29
Harold, the big hulking mask has what appears to be the
57:33
necromancer Nabetha, but it pulls off the skull mask and
57:37
pulls down the cloak. And the person in front of you
57:39
seems very familiar. It looks like Zalia, the lady
57:42
that was in the hallway. Oh motherfucker.
57:46
And she's screaming and. I can't the health spawn will
57:53
they'll have my head for. This.
57:54
And as she says that, Harold puts his hand over her mouth and
57:58
carts her off into a different room.
57:59
Well done everybody. This that was that was great.
58:03
You guys worked terrible as a team, but you got the job done.
58:07
Thank you so much. How many years off do we get?
58:12
Good points. Yes, you guys did earn this.
58:15
Everybody roll AD 10, D 10. 10 You know what, Doc, forgive
58:21
forgive me for being a little nosy busy body, but what are you
58:25
going to do with with Nabetha at there's Alia?
58:28
What's she going to do now? That's none of your concerned
58:32
guys. We're going to.
58:34
We'll take care of that. OK, I rolled A5 by the way.
58:37
I rolled A10 and all I'm hearing from you is that this means
58:42
she's going to come back at a later arc as our unlikely ally.
58:46
Everybody gets 10 years off of your sentence.
58:49
Only 86 more to go. 41 I have. Oh, I have 30 more years.
58:55
Wonderful. Well with that guys, I will will
58:58
let you get back as you guys work on we set up some
59:00
accommodations here for you. There's no reason for you guys.
59:03
So but go back into general population.
59:05
You guys are you're doing amazing.
59:06
So you're going to be staying here with us and we'll call upon
59:09
you once we get more information to send you back out again.
59:13
But I had a good thing going, then Gen.
59:14
Pop, I got a good side business now is finally getting to be a
59:17
reputable saleswoman. Yeah, but do you really want to
59:20
spend time with your ex-husband out there?
59:24
Money ex. Husband Money ex.
59:27
Are the booze here better than gasoline?
59:29
Well, I guess suppose you'll have to check with that.
59:32
Guys, rest up. This is the first of many
59:34
missions that we'll have you on. And keep an eye on yourselves
59:38
because being in this state can can cause some oh gosh, how do I
59:43
want to put this? I could fuck with your head.
59:46
Yeah, point of matter. When I was a zombie, Dalton bit
59:50
me. And is this going to get
59:51
infected? Yes, it is.
1:00:34
This episode of Flail the Face features the game's human
1:00:37
occupied landfill by Todd shaughnessy, Daniel Thrawn and
1:00:40
Chris Elliott. Kill Your Necromancer by Paul
1:00:42
Kickman and Hellspawn by Richard Marker and Lee Iovis with Thomas
1:00:46
Gino Stummy playing Dalton Walls, Tom Gambino playing
1:00:49
Colette Stellano, Charles Patchkey playing Donnie and
1:00:51
Kevin Welch as the Holmeister. Season 2 theme music is void
1:00:54
construct by out scroll editing by Kevin Welch, episode art by
1:00:58
Tom Gambino and video editing by Dan Finey.
1:01:01
And on behalf of the cast and crew of Flail the Face, we want
1:01:04
to thank all the listeners for sticking with us.
1:01:06
Without you, season 2 wouldn't be a thing.
1:01:08
So if you could do us a favor, like subscribe, follow on
1:01:11
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blue sky and YouTube.
1:01:14
Yeah, we're on there too and share with all your friends so
1:01:16
we can get out there to more people.
1:01:17
With that being said, thanks for listening and we'll catch you
1:01:19
guys next time. Escape from reality.
1:01:29
Open your eyes. Look to the skies and.
1:01:37
She. This is where I say hate Queen.
1:01:39
Kevin's a poor. Boy I hate this.
1:02:10
We. Won't get sued for that, right?
1:02:18
Who? Listens to the show anyways.
1:02:20
I feel like. Lawyers would listen to this and
1:02:21
be like, there they tried. Yeah, fuck.
1:02:27
Why? Because we like you.
1:02:30
Yeah, do you? That was awesome.
1:02:34
Oh, those. I certainly like you more than I
1:02:37
like myself, so yeah. I like you all more than I like
1:02:43
myself. Me and me and a Boo Boo stick
1:02:45
your head and Doo Doo I. Was going to say sing but.
1:02:55
Oh no, no more. No more fucking singing.
1:02:57
No, Queen, not, not on my watch. OK, so we're not Queen, but.
1:03:03
But. I don't know pretty much
1:03:05
anything else I suppose, until I find it.
1:03:07
Tornado. Results.
1:03:08
Thomas was going to take that one and run with it.
1:03:12
No, not today. OK.
1:03:18
The disgusting human being you normally are.
1:03:20
What the hell is wrong with black Jelly beans?
1:03:21
They're the fucking delicious. Amazing.
1:03:24
They're you talking about? They're amazing, yeah.
1:03:26
They're amazing as punishment. I don't care for this attitude.
1:03:31
I feel personally attacked. I am offended.
1:03:35
Under siege? That's OK, You can wash the sand
1:03:38
out later. And that was.
1:03:39
Like I can tolerate people gutting others, I can tolerate
1:03:43
cannibalism, and I can tolerate lots of things, but black
1:03:47
licorice and anything in these flavored is generally delicious.
1:03:51
I 100% agree, but I also know we can agree to disagree.
1:03:54
I will eat anything, no? That's how he got on the watch.
1:04:01
List. There he is, there it is.
1:04:07
That'll be fun. You're welcome.
1:04:09
Good luck. You can work on your Foley by
1:04:11
just getting some chicken breast and just oh me, I'm.
1:04:17
Not doing that chicken. Thighs are the better one.
1:04:22
Writes down donkey behind and. Ogre mourns the dead donkey.
1:04:30
So the owl's vest, I'm just trying to think about this from
1:04:34
like how many pockets did it have?
1:04:36
You said it was leather, did it didn't the way of his wings?
1:04:39
Well, obviously not because it could fly.
1:04:41
I'm just trying to visualize an owl wearing a leather vest.
1:04:45
It's not that strange. I mean, it's not beyond the
1:04:48
realm of possibility. I mean, owls could wear vests.
1:04:51
I've never seen it before. If an owl can eat lollipops, it
1:04:54
can wear a leather. Vest, it's true.
1:04:56
Yeah, that is, that is science. In fact, that's true.
1:05:02
I was going to say I was going to go to Dalton, and they're
1:05:06
like, hey, Dalton. You'd think he was a member of
1:05:08
Alcoholics Anonymous. Ouch, Ouch.
1:05:14
We never learned his name. That's the joke there, right?
1:05:18
Because he's anonymous. There we go.
1:05:23
That's another layer to the joke.
1:05:27
All right, take two and you look at you look at an owl and what
1:05:31
do you think first? How do you feel when you see
1:05:34
these birds is. That an egg man up there, Why
1:05:37
can't I? Wow, I can get to the center of
1:05:39
my, I'll tell you that much. My head is egg shaped.
1:05:45
My head is egg shaped. Sit on me, Mommy.
1:05:51
Oh God. Chloe.
1:05:57
That is Donnie's catch phrase. Perfect.
1:06:01
Sit on me, Mommy. Sit on me.
1:06:05
Mommy, I got a face right here. It's seat shaped.
1:06:09
It's seat. Shaped.
1:06:09
Try it out. Oh my God.
1:06:13
It does look like a saddle. Mommy, you're a car and I have
1:06:16
an empty space. Come park it on me.
1:06:20
You guys defeated my necromance or take.
1:06:25
That bitch. Necromance or nothing?