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EP 4 Joy Will Come - Pepin Family · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:05
  After a decade of gathering women together for prayer, we are inspired to bring our words of encouragement to you. This is iRefresh. Welcome to iRefresh, where it's ordinary women doing extraordinary things through the power of prayer and encouragement.
• 0:21
  And today is a great day because I have three guests with me. I have Scarlett and Lindsay, and later on we're going to have Bethany. And we have a fun opportunity to do an icebreaker. This is a great way to do a little fun things that we know about them by my Q&A. So are you guys ready? We're ready. We like fun. We like fun. All right. All right. So I want to know, first, your favorite ice cream.
• 0:44
  Ooh, chocolate chip cookie dough all the way. I had a milkshake last night of it. Oh, okay. That's funny because mint chocolate chip and I also had that last night. Ooh, I do like that one. Ooh, that makes me hungry. Okay, favorite dessert then? Is it ice cream or? It's cookie dough. You've got to stick with the theme. I'm going to go with a brownie under the ice cream. Oh, gosh. I'm hungry now. Favorite snack? Popcorn. Movie theater popcorn. Popcorn. Really? I didn't know that. Let's go with M&M's.
• 1:09
  Not a peanut. Not a peanut? Not the peanut. Do you ever put the popcorn and the M&Ms together, though? My grandma used to do that growing up. So it's a good memory. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. Okay. And how about favorite drink? Dr. Pepper. I'm going with coffee, tons of creamer, even some sugar, maybe a little whipped cream.
• 1:27
  I'm liking this. Okay, so now we're just going to pause and go somewhere else and enjoy our snacks and coffee. Yes! I love it. Actually, I think it's fun to have you guys here today because I am excited to welcome you and the book that they just came out with was Joy Will Come. And this is really about you, Lindsay. Yeah. Can you just give us maybe a highlight of what this is about?
• 1:49
  Yeah, it's just my testimony as I grew up in a very Christian family and then I walked through a high school pregnancy. So which was very unexpected and not a part of the plan. And the book just kind of explains how do you exchange your shame for joy and how do you get redemption by going back to the cross when the unexpected happens.
• 2:09
  Wow. That's a lot. Yes. That's a powerhouse. And yet, in each one of those things, each one of you had what you were both all processing. Because obviously, it's your life. Right. And the perfect world became a little bit distracted in the perfect world. And I have to think, too, Scarlett, with being a mom. And I know we've talked before about just being the mom and lining up everything and being...
• 2:38
  Perfect. Like trying to keep all the ducks in a row. How do you handle that? I know. As far as being a perfect, like perfectionism is like strong enough. Strong. Right. So I have three daughters. So I remember praying for a women's ministry and the Lord's like, you have a women's ministry, go change those diapers. So my life was these girls. I mean, it was all about my husband's wonderful, great marriage. And we had those ducks in a row. I mean, you know, the bows and the hair and just, just a certain way. Um, and so when she came home, um, totally unexpected.
• 3:06
  when she said those words that forever changed her life, our life, it was a Saturday morning she said, Mom, I'm pregnant. And just the power of what those words held has forevermore made us a totally different family, and I'd like to say a better family. Because a lot of things were exposed as far as religion and perfectionism. It's probably one of the big things. But that's the thing is, even though the events that were going on with you, Lindsay,
• 3:33
  is knowing you had to tell your parents at some point. Yes. What would be, what was going on in your mind, knowing your perfect family, that you're going to have to, like, how did you go through a process of what,
• 3:48
  Practicing like before the mirror or something, right? Right. What would you what were you thinking? So I get a very detailed description of the book, but just a brief summary was I just kept thinking over and over I'm gonna run over my whole family with a car Like I just kept feeling like this is the people I love the most I'm gonna get in the car and I'm gonna run over every single one of them and and destroy them and I about three days after I found out I
• 4:14
  I told my family because we have a very tight-knit family, so I knew I needed help. That was the first thing is I knew I needed help. And I remember the night before just...
• 4:24
  savoring the conversation with my mom and sitting in her bathroom when she was getting ready to leave and knowing It'll never be the same things will never be the same And I just knew that it was going to be a day of destruction coming up And so it was it was very daunting There was no practicing of what I would say there was just a lot of tears at night and a lot of sweating and anxiety and nightmares and I just let me ask you then too with that the anxiety you have then but I
• 4:55
  When you were in a relationship, obviously, with the gentleman, and you talk about it in the book, and I like your honesty. I think every young person needs to see the authenticity that you have, and the ability that you had just to share, like, this is what my world was before, this is what my expectations, you had dreams, you had goals, being a senior, everything in your world...
• 5:23
  all of a sudden, like I would love to hear even before all that, you were in a friendship relationship your senior year. Did you give any thought to the possibility in that friendship?
• 5:37
  What was going on in your mind? Like, is this the guy you're going to marry? We're going to get married. We're going to go to college. What was going on even before the event? Right. I mean, I think that relationship was somebody who I had dated off and on for over five years. So it wasn't a fling by any means. But I definitely...
• 5:57
  I knew that I wasn't going to marry this person. I knew that they were going to a different college out of state. I knew where I was going to college. It was more of a, this is a high school relationship, a high school relationship where a lot of adult decisions were made.
• 6:12
  Um, yeah. So leading up to it, I mean, that would never happen to me. You're never the one who gets pregnant. I mean, that's, that's the girls who are going to parties. I was, I never drank. I never did drugs. I went on missions trip. I was student body president. Why would I get pregnant? So it was very much a, um, this can't happen to me because I mean, I have 90% of my life. I'm living for the Lord. It's just this, this big secret that I was carrying. And that was that I was sleeping with my boyfriend.
• 6:40
  How is that that, I mean, both of you, I'd love to hear your insight of thinking of, because I know, Scarlett, you know, you've raised your children in the church. Right. You've spoken the word over them. You have a women's ministry, or you have a ministry. Right, yeah. To men and women, but. Yes.
• 6:58
  What is it you were processing? Just some highlights of what you were doing and the feelings you had. Right, and as we walked through it. And that's one thing great about the book is it's my perspective, her perspective, and then Bethany's too. And so just walking through what it exposed in my heart was it's not a formula. That our children are not formulas. That if we do it just the right way, then things will turn out exactly how we saw it.
• 7:25
  Um, but that our kids have free will and they are unconditionally loved by God, just like we are. And so how to walk that through and what is really, is any of my identity as a mother in how my children react, knowing that I also am a human and don't get it right every time.
• 7:43
  But somehow I think when we become mamas, it's like, well, I can just do it just like this. And so I would say at the end of this story and who we are as a family is better than where we started. Because I think there was some religion exposed in me, rules, and here's how we do it. And I'll just say...
• 8:01
  Maybe selfishly, my dreams felt like this wasn't the plan. When I saw my kid, their senior year, and at graduation, my daughter was the one that was pregnant. Just all that stuff that we as moms sometimes can attach to our identity. And so I feel like I've come out of it being able to help other mothers
• 8:20
  To, you know, just encourage them and just know that no matter what happens with our kids, with our marriages, that God's a redeemer. I mean, the story, we've come out with this fabulous, wonderful end of the story that we don't want to give away. But it's just... You know, that's one of the things that I was thinking about. I even highlighted some things I saw that you spoke with, even Scarlett, about...
• 8:43
  The power words. I just want to highlight when it was Lindsay and you were getting ready to prepare, just to share with your parents and your family, the power words, words that we say, they have a lot behind it. You know, and you gave reference about how Gideon, when Gideon was spoken to by the angel, it said that the Lord is with you, mighty warrior. So that's a great power word. Like, yeah, you're like to be warriors. You're like to be rampant, right? But then...
• 9:13
  I think, Lindsay, when you're like, well, I have some things to say, and it's like, I am pregnant. Yeah, three words. And that's with life, though. Right. How is it that you got over the initial hurdle, but I'm curious, how is your sisters, how did they respond to you?
• 9:35
  Oh, my, so at the time, my youngest sister was 14? Eighth grade, yes. Yes. So that, watching her reaction was equally as hard as my parents because it was this feeling of, I looked up to you. I respected you. This is, you know, what about my life? You know, she still had to go to school. And what do you do when you have, you know, the sister who got pregnant? And just to watch her face of her perfect family crashing and knowing that,
• 10:04
  I was the cause of it. That one was, I mean, I didn't, I guess I just didn't think ahead of time on, I mean, I knew it would affect my parents, but I just didn't see the full ripple of what it would really be. And then my older sister was already at college and I'll never forget when she walked in the door, she saw everyone's sternness in their faces. And I remember her saying to my dad, what, am I in trouble? And my dad's like, no, Lindsay has something to tell you. And I said those,
• 10:32
  three words again, and she literally fell on the floor and started sobbing. So it was, it was shock because, um, it was so unexpected and it just was out of, out of character. So, and I think your little sister put it, the quote was, but we're the pep and girls. So there's some identity that all of us were putting stock in, but we're the pep, you know, well, wait a minute. We're all human. We're all making decisions and choices. And so I think,
• 10:59
  That's another thing. Our identity cannot be in anything but in Jesus. Right. I think that is so key. Because, you know, when you said, I remember reading that, the pep and girls, well, the pepins. And you have a very large family. We've interviewed the main pepins of 10 kids, which is where Brad, Scarlett's husband, came from. And so, you know, I think it's interesting, though, too, is some of the things I'm hearing is that the judgment...
• 11:29
  that you all either feared that people have or they actually were judgmental. And yet, my heart is too, even with I Refresh too, is that we learned that no matter what, you're right, we're all fallible. And I think we forget when it says, all have come short of the glory of God. We don't know that in real practice. That God is a God of love and mercy and grace.
• 11:54
  And then when we set ourselves up, almost as God, like, I can be perfect. I mean, he does say be holy as I am holy. Right, right. But now maybe it has a new flavor. Yes. Like, it's not what we used to think it was. Yes, right. And yet, I don't know, did you find, though, that there were some people, I think you even talked about Rachel. Like, did you feel like you could consult with some of your friends, like, to feel like, I won't be judged, I'll be loved and accepted?
• 12:17
  Yeah, so my very best friend at the time, her name is Rachel, and she was the only person who knew up until I was like six months pregnant. And I can find it in her and her parents, as well as mine, of course. We knew, but as far as your friends, yeah. Yeah, and she was my rock. I mean, I – and it's just a reminder of how we need women around us to support us. There was no judgment. There was no shame. It was –
• 12:41
  How can I help you? Oh, hey, you might want to make your shirt look more lousy at school, you know? And just to have a person. I mean, she truly was my person who helped carry me. Practical. Yes. Practical and emotional and zero, zero, zero judgment. And, you know, it's a good reminder of what kind of friend am I when my friends are struggling, you know? And she was just such there to support me and encourage me and lift me up in all the decisions I made.
• 13:07
  And with Lindsay being a senior in high school, she just begged us, please don't tell anyone yet. Yeah. And for a mom, I mean, I'm just a blabbermouth maybe. Well, let's pray about it. Let's, you know. And so that was another training for me too. That the Lord's like, your children's story is not your story. Right. To learn to respect her as a woman and keep my mouth shut. I remember you talking about that. Yeah. And I'm like, ooh, that's. It'd be hard. I get that. Yeah. Just to keep our mouths quiet.
• 13:32
  When there's a point, because it is your story, but even just learning that control. And you gave a Proverbs in the book. It's great. A couple scriptures in Proverbs and James about there's a time and a season when we are to be quiet. Right. And to honor and respect what someone else is going through. Yes. Right. And, I mean, that's as much as God speaking to us, and we have to obey that as well. Right. Very powerful. You know, one of the other things I saw was in that is...
• 13:58
  You said in the book, God gives us only one simple step at a time. And I'm wondering, I know you were needing to do that with you and Brad. Absolutely. But even Lindsay, tell me what was, because you discovered you were pregnant, but now what's a step? Because you know, there's options out there today. And it's become such a strong conversation and it's almost very polarized.
• 14:25
  What would you say, like what are some of the steps that you felt your parents were helping you and guiding you as far as
• 14:33
  What are you going to do with the baby? What's our decision making? What was going on in your family unit? Yeah, I think the most important thing was that we got help with professionals. So immediately a week after finding out that I was pregnant, my mom, who's such a great fixer, she immediately got me a counselor. So I was in therapy within a week. Yeah. But I will say there are places out there with free counseling too. It's not like you have to, and that was...
• 14:59
  who we went through. Yes. So it's not that you have to have a certain socioeconomic to go and get help. Exactly. It's like there's free help out there. Free, yep. So the place that I went to is Crisis Pregnancy Outreach and it was, I
• 15:11
  free counseling, free support groups, free sonograms, free doctors, free lawyers. They're all over the US, they're all over Oklahoma and you can get help with options and what does it look like if you decide a parent? What does it look like if you decide to place your baby for adoption? What does it look like? All your different options, they really run it through with you and then they give you the support to emotionally and physically get healthy.
• 15:38
  which I think is so important when you're going through a crisis, whether it's a pregnancy or a divorce or whatever it might be, don't fight on your own. Don't isolate yourself. Put yourself in a scenario where you can have people, you know, who are around you to come around you that you love, and then people who are professionals and people who can truly help you. That's great. Yeah. And I think it's a select few that you go to that you talk to and get that advice because as the story played out, we realized how important it was to,
• 16:06
  to not talk to everyone, because people would weigh in, you know, if you ask for that. They give opinions, don't they? Amazing. It's funny. Well, you can ask for or not. Yes. And so by the time Lindsay had made her decision, we all knew as a family, this is the direction, because there was so much prayer put in, this is what God wants us to do, and without having other people's emotions. Yeah, weighing in. Yeah. So that was important.
• 16:30
  I think there's a lot of wisdom there of knowing as a family unit that you came together. Right. And prayer was so key. Huge. In every decision you were going to make. Yeah. And I have to say, too, even with your storyline, what would you say with a young person that is contemplating, okay, just discovered. Right. That I'm pregnant. What would you say to them of you got a major decision to make? Yeah. What would you want to inspire them with?
• 16:59
  I think that there's hope. I think when you get in a situation like that, you immediately feel hopeless. You immediately feel like, I mean, your life just feels so derailed. And the first thing is there's hope and there's time. So take a deep breath. Don't make grass dishes, decisions. You know, really think about the decision that you're gonna make and make sure that other people are included in that and that there are so many options. And nowadays it's not hard to get help and it's not hard to
• 17:27
  seek out other adoption or other options like adoption, whether it's going to a clinic. I mean, there are so many families who would love to parent a baby and there are so many different directions. There's, there's, there's a lot of options. So not to make rash decisions and that there's hope. That's good. Yeah. And that's throughout the whole book. Not, it's not just about a teenage pregnancy. It's about that God is the God of the universe that will take care of whatever we encounter the, the unexpected where you're thinking,
• 17:54
  I didn't see this coming. I did not see this coming. He's like, he's got you. He so has you and knows where he's going to lead you and make you strong through it. He saw it coming. I agree. It's a shock to God. You know, it's like he knew what was going to happen. Yes, and he already had my steps ordered. So I think that's the big thing as we get in these scenarios and it's, what's next? What are we going to do? Nothing surprises God.
• 18:18
  you're in great hands, you know? And so it's just that constant encouragement of keep running back to the God of the answers, the God of the solutions, the God who's the comforter, and keep running back to him because he just wants to hold you and help you. I agree. You know, that's so true about... He is a God of hope. The one thing that's great about the book that's intertwined with each person as they share the story, each one's chapter, even when your father opens up the book. I love to hear his heart. And...
• 18:48
  he felt like his responsibility in things that happen. And even, Scarlett, you talked about that same thing of where did I go? Right. And what happened? Where was my part in it? Yes. And maybe that's part of being a parent or maybe something in a marriage where you're thinking, what did I do wrong? Right. Some reason we go right into it was all about us. And I must have said something wrong or I did something wrong. So, yeah, that was my first reaction. Shock.
• 19:16
  And then it's my fault. What did I do? And so the Lord just walked us through this step-by-step. And same thing with my husband's point of view was, I'm the protector. It was on my watch. And so just walking through that. And each one of you, the thing that's great about the storyline is each one of you in the book give the walkthrough and the journey. And like you said, it's not just about...
• 19:41
  an unplanned pregnancy. It was about when something happens, when we have major things happen in our life, struggles, unforeseen things, sometimes out of our own control, what do we do? And I'm grateful to hear of knowing this family for a long time, but grateful to hear that each one individually and then as a family union
• 20:04
  went to God, lean into God, trusted God, looked at what God says in his word. You know, that's really what iRefresh is about, is knowing, okay, when I pray for something, no matter what season I'm in, what does God's word say? Because he desires to give us hope. He has promises for us to lean into. And you're right, there's no unexpected thing happening. And for us to be able to tap in and like now all of a sudden,
• 20:28
  There's certain parts of scripture that mean so much more. And I'm like, I get this. I know of his mercies. I know that he truly does have orchestrated things in my life unexpectedly. I can see his love and his passion for me and my family.
• 20:44
  And I think that that's the great thing too is the decisions you made as a family. Right. Now, is it something you kind of like sat down together and made it? No. Okay, I want to know. Yes, the process. Okay, so I want to know. I want to say a lot of the good stuff for the book. But I want to know, what was some conflicts during just like can you tell me about some of the struggle? Yeah, I think a lot of it is everyone is dealing and trying to walk through it at their own pace. Yes. So you've got a younger sister who's mad.
• 21:14
  How could you do this to me? And now when I'm in high school, guys are going to think that I would get pregnant. You know, taking it so there was anger. Then you've got shock, probably from me, and guilt from me. And then how else would you say? What else would you say?
• 21:30
  I think like the biggest thing, and I think this is for, you know, anybody who has older children is that fine line of, was I an adult or was I not? Should I make this decision or do my parents need to swoop in and rescue me? What are the, you know, and that, I think that was a lot of our back and forth was.
• 21:48
  you know, me going back and forth in those roles of I'm a kid, I'm an adult, I'm a kid, I'm an adult. And I think, um, I think what it really came down to at the end of the day was it had to be my decision so that there would never be resentment towards my parents. That is so, that is so good. I'm like, because it truly is, is you are transitioning. Right. But internally where you're like, I really, I want them to rescue me.
• 22:15
  Or you're like, back and forth. I think when you're going through a trauma, there's just so many waves of emotions where there was days where it was complete denial weeks where it was complete denial. And then there's other times where it's like, okay, let's, let's make a game plan. Let's just get this done with. And then there were other days of, I don't, I can't make a decision. You know, it was, I mean, it was months of just back and forth emotionally. So while she was doing denial, I was doing fix it. Okay. What does she do? You know, I'm,
• 22:45
  What's going to happen? Do you have the graduation party? Do you? You know, so she's saying denial, but I'm home. Like, no denial. Yeah. Reality. Yeah. So you've got all these family members dealing with it differently. Right. And then we just shut down, you know. Okay. Brad, sometimes we'll come home and just, I don't want to talk about it.
• 23:03
  You know, it's like, well, we have to, you know, so it's just everyone here at the same time. Oh, talk, talk, talk. Let's get this all worked out. Let's, you know. External process. Yes. And then Liz is like, hello, but it's me. Exactly. Right. Yes. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. So, no, it definitely was, was a process. And, but you know, how bold of you, like, okay, I want to know who instigated the book.
• 23:24
  Because it's your God. I mean, I feel like, I mean, I can, people still ask me to say, oh, are you so proud that you wrote a book? And I'm like, I guess I just did what God asked me to do. And I just try to keep walking in steps of obedience. I, I felt like God from pretty much the day after my daughter was born, I felt like God told me to write this book. And.
• 23:47
  I mean, I still was in maternity pants trying to lose weight when I started. And she's crying, I'm supposed to write this book. And I said, I am too, because it was from the mom's point of view. Yes, and it was, I mean, it was, I mean, the book process was very hard because it's, you're pouring your soul and you're reopening up wounds and you're airing your dirty laundry and you're.
• 24:06
  Even just, you know, should I write this about how I really felt about my parents at the time now that we've reconciled and have a great relationship? What does that look like? And just, I think our story in the book and then our story writing the book is just consistently trusting that we heard from God and we know what he had said and we are acting in obedience. So one of my husband's quotes I love is he's like, during the writing of the book, he's like, oh.
• 24:32
  I don't know why I had to get all our dirty laundry out there. And then he pauses and he says, you know, I bet David didn't want the Bathsheba part in there, but it sure has helped me. So it's like walking through the thing of God. Did you really say, because I'll tell you this, this book is very vulnerable. We don't hold back on how it all played out. So.
• 24:48
  And you know, that's what's key though too, because you became the adult and made the decision. Right. That brought in another family member. Yep. Now tell me how that transpired. Yes. So through a lot of prayer and a lot of counseling at about probably what, six, seven months pregnant, I decided to place my daughter for adoption. And at the same time that that decision pretty much came out,
• 25:12
  we also decided to tell our extended family. And that is when my aunt and uncle, Jeff and Bethany, entered the story at this point. Yeah. So I think we should welcome Bethany. Yes. Because she has a part in the great story of how joy will come. All right, so, Lindsay, when you made that decision, and you said about six months pregnant. Yeah.
• 25:35
  How did it happen? You just started sharing with the whole family? Or Scarlett, maybe you were part of... Like, hey! I've got something to say! I let my parents still over the news. I had told enough people I was pregnant. So back to the parent-child thing. Yes. Mom and Dad, can you go tell me? Can you go tell... I mean, what do you say? Easter, like, hey, I know we're all here for Easter lunch. I'm pregnant. You know, like, how do you announce that? So my dad actually told all of his brothers when they were having a game night. And then Jeff told Bethany. So...
• 26:04
  It was a Saturday morning. I was nursing a nine-month-old who never slept and screamed and cried her whole nine months of life. And it was 6.30 on a Saturday morning, and I got up to nurse her. And in walks Jeff, he got home really late, so I knew something was not right. He lays on the floor next to me, and I just remember he just said, Lindsay's pregnant. And I couldn't process Lindsay who. Like, Lindsay, no, not that Lindsay. And so it was just – and then he said, she's having a girl. And something in me just –
• 26:32
  there was a switch that just flipped because I'm holding this nine-month baby girl and he's talking about this girl and it was somehow I was trying to process all of these things at one time. Yeah. Wow. What an overwhelming experience, especially sleep deprived. Yes. Everybody thought that's not a really good time to receive that kind of message. No, and that's what he usually gives it to us though. You really obey. Yeah, and so it took us an hour and
• 26:59
  An hour of sitting there, nursing a baby, talking on the floor on 6.30 on a Saturday morning. And I, as a little kid, always wanted to adopt. And Jeff and I had really never been on the same page. When you come from 10 kids, you just have kids. It's not that he was ever against adoption. It just wasn't something that was really on his heart. And God, for years, just said, you plant the seeds. I'm responsible for making them water and making them grow. He said, that's my responsibility, not yours.
• 27:27
  And so within an hour, we went, in my mind, we went from a family of three to a family of four. Even though our responsibility wasn't adopting Kinley, it was offering to adopt Kinley because we had no control beyond that point.
• 27:41
  So that transition of, I mean, God moved quickly. Very quickly. But he had been preparing us for a long time. But yeah, I mean, the moment, I mean, yeah, the preparation, which is beautiful how God works in any circumstance of our life, is he's really been doing something to prepare us to be ready for what's to be happening. But then it's a quick shift. Yes. Right.
• 28:03
  And especially when there's a timeline coming. This baby's due for arrival. Yeah, like two and a half months at that point. Yes. So I don't want to give away the book, but tell me some highlights of, like, where do you feel, like, how does it all fit in now? Because, like, to me, I'm like, okay, is that awkward? Is that right? Because, like, when you come, like, you're here, and when you're in town, like...
• 28:24
  How is that dialogue? Right. Or what is it in, I want to know, okay, Bethany, internally, what is it? Yeah. Because I've heard about people adopting, like there's always a fear of the mother ever ever want a child back. And I've dealt with friends who have dealt with that. Yes. No, I get that question a lot. And I got it especially when she was little. I got all the, are you scared that Lindsay's going to want her back? And I'm going.
• 28:44
  One, legally. No. You know. But we told her up until the day we went to the courthouse, if you still want this baby, we never want you to feel like we took this baby from you. Like that was always on the table. That was always, this is your baby until you sign those papers and then there's no going back. Right. And so we always had that on the table. But for me, it's never really been awkward. There just seems like there's peace all over it. And you just watch as it unfolds. Our little granddaughter is six now. And the joy that she brings and
• 29:13
  When we're all together, it's like she's just loved from every angle. Mimi loves her. Her birth mom loves her. Her mama loves her. And there's no way we could have come up with a solution. It was the Lord. And so it's constantly through the pregnancy going, God, we don't know, but you know. We don't know, but you know.
• 29:28
  And now we watch it unfold. It's like, okay, well, how's that going to work when she starts talking? What is she going to call Lindsay? All of that. And we just keep going back to, you know God. And he keeps giving the answers. And it's just, like I said, there's just peace and joy all over the situation. She tells everybody she has two moms.
• 29:43
  Yes. Now we go. That could be a little confusing. Right. She had the birth mom. Yeah. She's hilarious. So you had that dialogue early on. So as soon as she had an awareness, you made that decision. Oh, yeah. We wanted to be very open.
• 29:59
  I mean, we didn't want there to be any confusion. We didn't want to ever have to sit down and have that talk. So she was 18 months old, toddling around, and I saw a picture of me and Lindsay, and Lindsay was pregnant. And so I said, you know how Reese, my oldest, you know how Reese came out of mommy's belly? I said, you came out of Lala's belly. And she looked at me, and she looked at that picture, and she looked at me, and she looked at.
• 30:22
  And she ran around clapping and cheering. And I'm crying because I never wanted her. I always wanted her to be proud of where she came from. I always wanted her to be proud of where she came from. So, you know, you've had to do it in steps incrementally of going, how does that? And then you can see the wheels turning. I'm like, wait. But we've always tried to be really open with that.
• 30:41
  Because it's not a family secret. And that's what a lot of this book is about. There's not shame. You know, the enemy wants us to think there's shame and just hide things and keep it. It's like, oh, no, look what God has done. Your eyes are brown because, you know, Lindsay's eyes are brown.
• 30:56
  we remember when you were in the hospital and Mimi got to hold you. Tell me again, Mimi, about how, you know, mommy came and got me. And, you know, so there's not this stigma or quietness of, you know, it's just all out in the open and look what God's done. And everybody loves you is what we'll say. Oh yeah. The more love the better is kind of what.
• 31:14
  And she loves that. She's not a shy girl. She loves that everybody loves her. She's a little child. She is such a pepin. Yes. She's so much like it in so many ways. Okay, I would love to get highlights from each one of you. What do you want people, when they get this book, which we really want you to make sure you can get it on Amazon?
• 31:37
  Yeah, or scarletpeppen.com. Okay. All right. So we want to make sure you get a copy because this is not just about an unplanned pregnancy, but this is just you have a tough story that you may have or something you're going through. The scriptures, the way that they walk through, each one of them individually walk through.
• 31:56
  is such a powerful testimony of the way that God operates. He loves us and he's prepared us with his word, with hope, circling us around other believers, and especially this family that all know the Lord and love God.
• 32:09
  And I think that that's what I want to make sure that you all take away is this is something you want to buy multiple books so that you can give one away. You read one, give it away. And because I've started, I read it from my Kindle and I was like, oh, I didn't realize I could highlight. I'm like, well, this was a good quote. So mine is really on my Kindle version. It's getting really a lot of highlights because the truth of God's word is so powerful.
• 32:33
  in each of your dialogue. But one each of you, Lindsay, tell me, what do you want people to go away with when they read your book? I think the biggest takeaway is that
• 32:42
  you cannot outrun God's love. You cannot out-sin his grace. And no matter how many times you fall, how many times you fail, he will always be there to pick you up. So no matter what season you're in, you're just so loved, and you cannot out-sin your heavenly father. Awesome. I agree. Bethany? Mine is a little different because my part of the story is a little bit different. What is God asking you to do that might seem crazy to other people?
• 33:10
  You know, what is God asking you to do? I always say, what yes is God asking you to put on the table? So I just want people to be open to those seemingly crazy and, you know, things that he's asking you to do. And just say yes and do it. Check it against his word. Do you hear his voice? Do you have a relationship with him? Then you know him and do the things he's asking you to do. Adopt the babies. Take the job. Foster. Whatever it is, put your yes on the table. Excellent. I like that. And mine is don't live in fear. You know, it's like...
• 33:37
  Oh, what would I ever do if my child got pregnant or if this happened or this? I've now walked through a situation realizing you will come out better on the other side. Things will be exposed. You'll have a testimony on the other side. You have a beautiful grant. I mean, just what God does through us surrendering. And he said, consider it all joy when you walk through hard times. Because you are, you're being refined. And even when it's the unexpected that you feel like I didn't choose this, they chose it for me.
• 34:03
  whatever you're walking through. Maybe you feel like, okay, my husband did this or bankruptcy or this happened or that happened. Just know you will get a gift at the end of it and it will be a stronger character and you'll know Jesus better. Yeah. Amen. Extraordinary woman. Would you agree? Hey, be sure to subscribe to our podcast. We would love to share a lot more of our stories. So follow us on Facebook and get in touch with us. Let us know about what, how you've been overcoming the adversities in your life until then.
• 34:33
  Go change your world.