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Matt Kahn - All for Love · Destination Unlimited with Victor Fuhrman

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My name is Victor Furman. Some call me the Voice. I've always been
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fascinated with human nature, spirituality, science, and the crossroads at which they
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meet. Join me now and we will explore these topics and so much more
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with fascinating guests, authors and experts who will guide us to destination unlimited.
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As a child, Matt Khan dreamed of being an author someday. After an
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out of body experience at age eight and several profound spiritual awakenings, Matt developed
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an other worldly connection to his intuition that allowed him to become a profoundly powerful
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empathic healer. But then a back injury not only changed his path from personal
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trainer to healer, it also his abilities as he solidified his mission to become
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a spiritual teacher. Matt wrote the highly acclaimed books Whatever Arisses Love, That
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Everything is here to help you, and the Universe Always has a Plan,
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which has been translated into more than a dozen languages. His website is mattcon
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dot org, and he joins me this week to share his amazing path and
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his own time's only award winning book, All for Love, The Transformative Power
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of Holding Space. Please join me in welcoming to Destination Unlimited, Matt Cohn.
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Welcome, Matt. Thanks for having me. It's such an honor to
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be here. Matt. Please share with us your early life and how it
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contributed to the work and wisdom that you share with our world. Well,
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from my earliest memory, I remember feeling confused about my emotions and my experiences
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with others because I would start to become aware at a very young age,
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and of course, when you're aware at a young age, takes many years
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to kind of become aware of what you're aware of. But I would notice
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that when my friends were feeling sad, I could feel the sadness inside my
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body, and more prominently, I wouldn't know how to separate my experiences from
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theirs, and so most commonly, when other people were sad, I thought
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they were mad at me, because I made everything about myself when I was
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a young kid, like we all do, and so I spent most of
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my earlier years. If I think back to my childhood, every time I
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was around someone that was sad, I wanted to cheer them up, or
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I wanted to help uplift their experience, of course, because I wanted them
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to experience happiness, but I misinterpreted their experience, which could have been from
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their family, could have been from an argue with the sibling, and I
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misperceived it as their opinion of me. So I thought that only when people
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were happy do they like me. And so I spent many many years in
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my earlier development in a stage of what I call vibrational codependency, where I
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don't know where my emotions begin and their's end, and I interpret everyone's experience
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about me. And these were the earlier experiences that helped me to really,
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over many many years, discover that I'm once called an impath and for many
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of the listeners who are also in paths. In fact, I would say
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that everyone in the world is EmPATH, just at various stages of awareness,
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realization, and consciousness. And so as I started to come into the truth
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of my empathic nature, that you know, for me, it wasn't a
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matter and for many listeners and maybe the same way, it's not a matter
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of I choose to feel not feel feelings. I'm in a space where I
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can't help but feel, and whether it's me feeling my own emotions or me
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feeling the emotions of the world being processed, I'm always in a state of
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feeling. And as I started to get to know this experience, which took
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many, many years and curiosity and a lot of big experiences, I started
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to realize that my emotions were like a psychic superpower, and that as I
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started to make peace with my feelings, and as I started to learn that
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it wasn't bad for me to be sensitive as a man, and that it's
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okay for me to feel, and that feeling emotions doesn't make me too much
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for people, or that I'm not going to lose people in my life by
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feeling too deeply, my emotions started to give me information and became this intuitive
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ability where through my feelings I get such specific information. And then that helped
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me over again many many years to develop the ability to work with people as
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an intuitive healer, where I can use my emotional body as an imprint of
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their emotional body, so I can feel where people are out emotionally, I
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can tune into brain chemistry, and it helped me to be able to assist
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people healing in a very compelling and radical way. And it's a beautiful full
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circle moment to know that what in the beginning of my life felt like I
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was being inundated by emotions, or I felt like I was plagued with an
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ability to only feel and to always be overwhelmed. What started as something that
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was very intense, I'm grateful has been developed into a skill set that I
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have been humbled and grateful to use to help so many people around the world.
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So it's truly a full circle moment if I think back all the way
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to when I was younger and how confused I was about my feelings, not
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realizing, of course, that my life was this journey that would help me
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hone these feelings as a tool to support so many in their healing journey.
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Beautiful, I can share with you, and I must say that, even
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though I came into this existence a few decades before you, I had the
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same sensations when I was growing up. So thank you for sharing that me.
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It sort of reemphasizes for me that there are many of us who go
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through this process, and it's for those who have children who are reflecting those
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processes. Now, what would you say, what advice would you give them?
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It's an interesting question because I've seen it on two different sides. I've
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seen parents who unintentionally shut down their children, because an adult might come from
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the egoic mindset of if someone has emotions that come up, they must have
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a problem that I need to fix, and if I can't fix it in
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ten seconds or less, an adult can get frustrated and feel incapable and actually
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take that out on a child, and that develops this inner belief that we
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are too much for people, And of course we become people pleasers because we
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want to be loved and accepted by people, not the most difficult one to
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deal with at all times. Then there's the other side of the coin,
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which is a parent might have had spiritual experiences and be very interested in spirituality,
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and the parent might think, if I could only teach my child what
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I wish I knew back then, And sometimes parents have a tendency to teach
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a child too much about spirituality when they haven't taken that the child hasn't taken
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the time to really develop an ego before they're going to wake up out of
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it. So I think there's really two incredible extremes that if we take the
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middle path, I think the best approach is always giving children outlets and options
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for how to express their feelings. First, of course, is to know
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that feeling is not wrong and that what we learn through wisdom is that feelings
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always have a purpose, and we have to be wise enough to say,
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what does this feeling need? Is it telling me something? Does it want
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to be expressed? And then of course giving children opportunities and options to express
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their feelings. Like if I was talking to a child, I would say,
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does your anger or your sadness want to be danced out? Does it
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want to be colored out? Does it want to be depicted as art?
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Does it want to be screamed out or stomped out? Is it telling you
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a message that is important to listen to? So I think the middle path
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of all of this as we prepare children for their evolutionary journeys is not to
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give them too much spirituality unless they're asking very compelling questions, and not to
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of course shut down a child whose emotional process might last more than ten to
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thirty seconds. But I think it's helping children learn that emotions are normal.
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They have messages for us, and as long as we have options as to
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how we can cope and harmonize with our emotions, it then becomes a part
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of a higher skill set instead of a source of insecurity that we might carry
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with us into other stages of development. Thank you for that sage advice for
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the parents that are listening out there who have kids that are manifesting these abilities,
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So thank you. An out of body experience when you were eight years
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old led to profound spiritual awakenings. Please describe the event and the understandings that
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ensued. My goodness, I was that age. It was during a time
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in the nineteen eighties, during what was known as the Adam Walsh case,
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which was a child who was kidnapped. And it was during that time that
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as a kid, you know, the big message was don't talk to strangers.
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And I remember being so afraid of being displaced from my parents or being
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kidnapped that I literally never left my parents' side when I was very, very
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young, and so I always felt safe being around my parents. And I
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say that because one night I went to sleep and I thought I was having
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a dream, and I found myself in this garden. That it was like
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a garden with colors that were of the highest human vibrance that I could describe
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or I've ever seen in my life. It was like hd multiplied by infinity,
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and the colors were so bright, and as I looked at this garden
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with this incredible spectrum of brilliance, the brilliance of these colors were vibrating or
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emanating this feeling of love, and it felt to me immediately like a love
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beyond anything I'd known from my parents, which was surprising because that was,
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at that time of my age, my highest knowing of love. And I
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remember saying to myself and what I thought was a dream, I'm not afraid.
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I don't know where I am, but I'm safe. And that was
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such a big deal for me, because I only knew safety as being,
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you know, glued to my parents' hip, and so here I was in
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some location I didn't know where I was. My parents were nowhere in sight,
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and I felt completely safe and all in myself, these bright colors of
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the garden bringing forth this vibration of love. And I started to move through
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this garden and walk around, and I remember walking through a field of wasist
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high flowers, and from that young perspective, it was like the flowers were
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almost like to the height of my hips. I was really having to move
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my legs through this field of waist high flowers, and as I was moving
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through them, I also then realized I was simultaneously hovering above them watching myself.
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So I could feel myself moving through the field of flowers, and I
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was floating above myself watching it at the same time. I didn't know how
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I was having two different experiences at the same time, but the love was
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so intense it really didn't matter. It was just kind of, oh,
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well, this is happening. And in front of me, about twenty feet
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was a being, also floating above the flowers, who had a white robe,
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a dark beard, and shoulder length hair dark hair, and he motioned
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me towards him, and I froze, and then I started to move towards
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him naturally. And as soon as I got about five feet from this being,
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it looked like their eyes were glowing pure white light. And at that
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age when I was having that experience, for some reason, what I thought
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of the association that came up was thinking about like scary movies, when people
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like roll their eyes up into their head. And as I had that thought
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about this experience, it almost like the state and I fell through the garden.
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I fell through the sky, and then I fell back in my body,
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and only until I fell back in my body did I realize I left
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it. And as I'm in my body again, try to process this,
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I'm freezing cold, I'm drenched in sweat, and I'm shaking, and out
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of the corner of my eye in the doorway of my bedroom, I saw
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the same figure motion me towards him, but he was kind of made out
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of this chalky white energy material, and as I looked directly at him,
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he disappeared. The next morning, I talked to my parents, who are
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very much into spirituality, and I told him about this experience, and my
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dad then goes on to tell me how he had nearly identical experience, you
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know, thirty years before I did, when he was meditating in boot camp
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one day, and I didn't know what the significance was, but I knew
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that sharing such a vivid experience and then my dad relying nearly the same experience,
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there was some sort of connection. And it started to help me realize
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that things in life have connections to other bigger things. And I, of
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course, at that age, I didn't know what it was, but it
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was something I tucked in the back of my mind as you'll remember this.
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And then I remember going to my next door neighbor's house who had a son
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my age, and I would you spend time with them, and in their
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living room they had this framed picture of this person who was exactly the person
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I met in my autobod experience, and I said, who's that and they
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said, Matt, that's Jesus. Everyone knows that's Jesus. And I was
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raised Jewish, so I didn't know he was. I said, well,
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that's the guy I met in my dream. And my friend laughed and said,
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Matt, you didn't meet Jesus and I said, well, I don't
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know who he is, but that's who I met. And from that experience
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I started to have in my peripheral vision. I'd walk and see angels with
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me and I didn't even know what an angel was, but I intuitively just
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knew it was an angel. And I would start to have these experience instance
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of spontaneously knowing things without knowing how I know it, but it would just
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strike me as the most obvious truth of yeah, these are angels, and
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someone would say, what's an angel? I don't know, but I knew
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enough of just this is what it is, and this was the moment that
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started to really open me up psychically. And what's interesting is that it wasn't
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until my late twenties where those experiences started to expand even further, but that
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became the moment of activation. That was an initial experience that really started to
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move me in that direction. It's interesting that you share that because there's a
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Buddhist concept called readiness in time, meaning we have to have a series of
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experiences before we're ready to embrace something that's new or something that's been there before
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but that is now ready to come to its fulfillment in our lives. And
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I said, so experienced my childhood and then my mid to late thirties when
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my readiness and time ebove. Thank you for sharing that. While a lease
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tell us how these events shaped your path as an empathic healer and spiritual teacher,
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I think that from an early age. What's interesting about my path because
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I think that I straddled the you know, I seem to straddle the line
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between one foot in the esoteric and I have esoteric experiences every day and one
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foot in the path of awakening or the path of dharma and wisdom and sometimes
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spirituality you have all dharma and no esoteric, and sometimes you have all esoteric
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and no dharma. And so what's interesting is my first life experience of spirituality
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that I just described gave me a very esoteric opening to there's something much bigger
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in life than what we see with our normal senses, something much bigger.
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But then I went off and developed an ego and went into middle school and
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discovered you know, social status, and you know all these things and achievement
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and seeking and all these things. And so I think that the order in
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which I've had experiences has helped me to really have a very unique view of
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the spiritual journey, where for me, it's not all esoteric and it's not
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all dharma. They are actually two sides of the same coin. They're two
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sides of the same reality. And I think what's interesting about that is that
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there are stages of our spiritual development that are going to be esoteric in nature,
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there are some that are going to be more dharmic in nature. And
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for me, my whole life journey has allowed me kind of to look at
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wisdom and healing as many you know, as many levels and many layers and
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many different frequencies and so when I'm working with someone, what frequency does this
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require? Is it more of an esoteric in nature? Is this more of
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a dharmic in nature? And so I think for me, it's helped me
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to, even as a human being, integrate very big cosmic spiritual experiences and
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then ground it in very mature, meaningful action and embodiment. And I think
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that's really the direction humanity is going, so that it's not like we're going
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to one extreme side over here and then another extreme side, but really,
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how do we bring these two sides together? How do we bring big esoteric
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experiences, and how do we ground it into the most mature and insightful and
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mindful decision making that's going to really evolve our lives forward and allow us to
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support the expansion of all. And so I look back in my life and
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I look back at what seems like a lot of very different experiences, and
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I look back and I go, gosh, what a plan was created for
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me and unfolded perfectly. And it was until you know, thirty some odd
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years into my life journey that I could turn and back and look at things
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and go, wow, what a perfect plan was created? And I'm truly
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grateful to have taken this journey and to continue the journey. But what a
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perfect plan was created? For sure, I had the blessing of a wonderful
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spiritual teacher when I attended interfaith seminary in the mid nineteen nineties. He would
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share that and I quote, everything is unfolding in divine order that we may
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not understand or like what is transpiring, but in retrospect and with spiritual eyes,
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we will see that there is a higher purpose. Do you resonate with
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that sentiment? I absolutely do resonate with that sentence. I think that where
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the confusion comes from is that in people's egos, they think, if things
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are not in divine order, then I have to take action to do something
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about it. Conversely, if everything is divine order, then there's nothing for
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me to do. And I think the middle ground, which I'm I'm always
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promoting in the middle way, is yes, everything's in divine order. Yes
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everything is created as a catalyst that's going to expand consciousness. Yes everything is
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making us better. Everything is evolving the world. But that's not without our
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participation. That's with our participation. So I like to look at the world
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as like a multi dimensional training program. I often called the world the angel
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academy where we incarnate and no matter where we are incarnation cycle, we are
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here in like a school or a field trip, learning how to be spirit
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guides and angels in training. And we're doing that by the journeys we take
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as each incarnational version of ourself. And so we look at the state of
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the world right now. Yes, this, what we're seeing in the world
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is divinely appointed, but it's also divinely appointed for all of us to play
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very specific roles so that we participate in experiencing the evolution of an entire species
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and play planet, which is part of the training program for all the souls
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that we will guide in future incarnations as spirit guides and angels and training.
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Absolutely, thank you for sharing that this beautifully said. You've gifted our world
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with a series of wonderful books, in many ways, fulfilling your childhood aspiration
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of becoming an author. Let's discuss a couple of these, starting with whatever
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arises love that, what inspired that book, and what did you share with
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your readers. When I started doing healing work, and I only know what
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I've learned from the universe and my direct conversations with my angels and this ended
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masters and I started delivering messages to people, and I started to work with
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people in healing, and I didn't understand all the other spiritual paths. I
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learned them by doing intuitive sessions, and I would sit out or stand outside
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of myself. I'd listened to what they would say. I would listen to
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what I would intuitively say, and I would like mentally take notes. And
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over the years, I kind of figured out a lot of the other paths
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just by observation. And what I couldn't understand was that I always experienced the
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universe source energy, whatever you want to call that, God, consciousness,
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the one, whatever you want to refer to source as I knew that to
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be a source of infinite wisdom and infinite love. And there was nothing but
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infinite wisdom and love that made up source energy. And I would watch so
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many people in their spiritual path, whether it's healing, awakening, manifestation,
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whatever the goal was attracting their soulmate, and they would go about these goals
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or go towards these experiences in ways that weren't always embodying the love that I
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experienced when tapping into source and so my inspiration became, if we are all
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moving back into the living remembrance of Source versus infinite wisdom and love, then
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perhaps the paths we take to reconnect with Source must be equally as wise and
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loving. And I started to realize that a lot of the spiritual goals people
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had were trying to move away from their experiences, and their experiences and the
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symptoms where the parts of them begging for the love that they didn't receive in
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earlier years. So I started to realize that I think there needs to be
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a fundamental focus put on unconditional love and loving ourselves, and that if we're
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going to take a journey towards the remembrance of Spirit and Spirit is infinite love,
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then every step of that journey back to Spirit must be just as loving.
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And so it became my mission, my life purpose, to teach the
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world how every stage of spiritual development, awakening, healing, integration, manifestation,
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whatever it is, can be done and can only really occur when we
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are aligned with love. Kind of like if we were to go to school
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during the summer when no one was there, and then we think we should
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get credits when school was in in session. We don't really get credit for
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the work we do unless we are aligned with love. And so it became
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this really incredible download and realization that I started having. And again it became
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this mission of I'm going to be the person who reminds the world that every
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step step forward must be taken in the most loving way. And how do
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we love ourselves versus just loving the ideas of ourselves or pretending or imagining understanding
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how powerful loving ourselves can be, versus actually what it means to love ourselves.
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And this excited me in every fiber of my being, and it became
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something fresh and new that I began bringing to the spiritual communities and to this
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industry. And in the very beginning it was like I was speaking a different
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language. And over time this message of love and how it affects our nervous
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system and how it really is such a central part of our spiritual development is
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awakening and more and more beings. But this was the initial insight that led
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to the passion I have for the work I do, and to do it
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only in the name of love. My guest is Matt con We're going to
25:42
be talking about his award winning book all for love the transformative power of holding
25:48
space. Matt, please share with our listeners. Let me get your books,
25:52
your website and find out more about you. Sure to learn more about
25:56
my books, to check out my schedule of coming events, and a sign
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up for my free Sunday newsletter, and to get a free link to my
26:04
free documentary, you can go to Matt Con dot org. That's m A.
26:11
T. T. Kahn dot org. And we'll be back with more
26:15
of Matt after these words. On the Old Times Radio Network, The cutting
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research and innovations from new thought teachers, speakers, and researchers pushing back
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Times Radio back on Destination Unlimited. My guest this week is Matt Cohn.
28:18
We're going to be talking about his new book, All for Love. I'm
28:21
sorry we're going to be talking about his best selling book, All for Love,
28:23
The Transformative Power of Holding Space. Matt. We have talked about your
28:27
first book, Whatever Arises, loved that. Let's talk about one more before
28:32
we discuss All for Love. You wrote a book called The Universe Always Has
28:36
a Plan, The Tent and Golden Rules of letting Go, and you offer
28:40
readers ten golden rules to help unlock emotional freedom. What was the foundation of
28:45
these rules and please share one or two with our listeners. The foundation of
28:52
this book was that it has been known for many years and taught for lifetimes
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that everything happens for a reason. And I began to see how people would
29:08
say that statement from a place of resignation. They would kind of say it,
29:14
and this half defeated, Oh, everything happens for a reason. And
29:18
then I began to be inspired by the idea of what if I could in
29:27
detail explain the reasons why things happen? And it became an inspiration. You
29:41
know, and we also hear about the phrase of letting go and what does
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that mean? To let go? And is what is you know? Because
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letting go, for many people is about pushing things away, and it's about
29:56
avoiding and bypassing. So what does it really mean to surrender to the universe
30:00
without being defeated by the universe? What does it mean that everything happens for
30:03
a reason and actually we can know the reasons why things happen, And really,
30:08
what are the prime insights that the universe is giving us to help us
30:15
merge back into the remembrance of spirit and really live as embodiments of spirit.
30:19
I mean, you know, I'm saying a lot of things, but there's
30:22
so much that inspires everything that I do. And I just wanted to bring
30:29
ten doses of wisdom from spirit. And I think if we you know,
30:34
if I think back to the first book, Whatever Has Love, that it
30:37
was always about how do we help the world realize we have to you know,
30:41
if we're going to return to love, we have to take a loving
30:44
path to do so. I think the next book was about, well,
30:47
if the universe is infinitely wise, let's bring ten golden rules of infinite wisdom
30:52
to the awareness of awakening beings. And it's funny, I think back to
31:00
the ten Golden rules. I think I can remember the first one. I
31:04
think the first one is you've done nothing wrong, And that was the first
31:08
chapter, You've done nothing wrong. And I think another one I remember is
31:15
anyone who is angry is unhappy. And I when I think back to these
31:21
golden rules, and I can't remember either eight. But it helps people to
31:26
have perspective. It helps people to understand and separate the difference between their experience
31:32
and other people's experiences. It helps us to have the wisdom to be able
31:40
to be true to our experience, not needing everyone to agree with our experience.
31:45
And really, when we understand the infinite wisdom and love of the universe,
31:49
we're all souls on a journey. We're all on different journeys, we're
31:55
all learning things in different order, we're all a different semesters of the same
31:59
care curriculum. And so how do we coexist as spiritually evolved beings? How
32:04
do we exist in a way where we live our lives, make decisions,
32:07
not afraid of making risks, and without taking life out on ourselves. So
32:13
when I wrote the second book, it was just a platform for me to
32:17
be able to take all of the misunderstandings and all of the contradictions that I
32:24
had seen throughout the spiritual journey as I started entering it, and I wanted
32:29
to bring the world just a clear view of here's a clear way to help
32:34
you navigate your life forward. First book is how do you Love Yourself?
32:38
And how loving yourself is a cornerstone of your healing journey. And the second
32:43
book was how do we start moving forward? And how do we start navigating
32:50
a life of wisdom by making wise choices and having respect for other people's experiences,
32:57
even if they're not always respectful of our experience. And so there was
33:00
so much that goes into every book that I write, and it seems as
33:06
if the world is really resonated with both for different reasons. And whenever I
33:10
write a book, I always write it from the perspective of I think about
33:15
if this is the last book I'm ever going to write. If at the
33:17
moment I'm done with this book, I literally leave this planet and this might
33:22
leave behind for the world. What can I write that lets me feel like
33:25
I am leaving the world everything that's within me. So every time I write
33:29
a book, I come from that place, and when I wrote these two
33:31
books, it's a place I came from. Wonderful congratulations on your award winning
33:38
and best selling latest book, All for Love, The Transformative Power of Holding
33:45
Space. It won both the Old Times Only Award for Winner of World Vision
33:49
Books and the Independent Publisher's Book Awards Gold Medal for Inspiration and Spiritual Books.
33:55
So did you have that in mind when you wrote that book? Then this
33:58
might be the last book? Right? You know? I? Well,
34:00
I always do. I always I write every book from that place because that's
34:05
how I get into my that's my edge. The way I write is when
34:08
it's time for me to write a book, Okay, this is the last
34:10
book I'm going to write. So I always play that game with myself.
34:14
I always do. And when I wrote this book, it was during the
34:16
time of the George Floyd incident, and when we were the world was experiencing
34:22
a greater awareness of things like systemic racism and how are we going to move
34:28
through all these differences? And how are we going to really bring the world
34:31
together? And how are we going to bring the world together without needing every
34:36
person to think and believe the same thing? Like how are what are we
34:39
going to do here? In this? You know, we always hear in
34:43
spirituality, right, the intention is manifesting heaven on Earth, global piece for
34:47
all. Well, how are we going to do this in a tangible way
34:52
in a world of individuality, And what's the way, what's the thing the
35:00
world really could benefit right now? And during that time in history. A
35:05
few years ago, what I started to realize is that when I think back
35:09
to the most compelling dialogues I've had with people over my eighteen year career,
35:14
whether in healing sessions or at retreats, the biggest conflicts people have are in
35:21
communication. So I wanted to write a book of how does the world learn
35:25
to communicate with themselves and others from a place of compassion? How do we
35:31
speak to others from the awareness that I'm on a healing journey. Everyone's on
35:37
a healing journey, whether they're aware of it or not. And how do
35:40
we learn to be true and authentic to ourselves and our communication? And how
35:45
do we do it in a way that respects our healing journey and everyone's healing
35:49
journey? And how do we actually learn how to communicate in a compassionate and
35:53
authentic way, aware that we're all doing the best we can, We're all
35:58
on a healing journey, And how do we move through this field of infinite
36:04
perspective, How do we communicate in a way that manifests the love of spirit
36:12
in every interaction and that those kinds of questions are ideas We're satisfied. In
36:17
this book I wrote all for Love the transformative power of holding space. We're
36:22
holding space is I'm not just listening to people for content. I'm not just
36:28
waiting for my chance to speak. That every interaction I have with a human
36:32
being, I'm a part of their healing journey and they're a part of mine.
36:37
And how can I begin to communicate from that space of awareness? And
36:40
that's like the ultimate basic golden rule that's found in an iteration and virtually everything
36:45
and doing to others as you have them do with to you, the lovelike
36:47
neighbor as thyself. Really, if everyone did that, what a world we
36:51
would have, wouldn't they? Yes? Indeed. And the first attribute you
36:54
shared is compassionate space holding. And you talk about levels of listening and dynamic
37:00
listening. What are those? So listening for most people is just when you're
37:07
letting someone else speak and you're hearing them, but you're waiting for a space
37:13
for them to stop, for you to say the things that you want to
37:15
share. Dynamic listening is when you are fully engaged in the act of listening,
37:23
where you we're hearing someone and taking the journey with them, that everything
37:30
they're saying is important to the development of their evolutionary path, and that when
37:38
we are dynamic listeners, we are listening to people as intently as when we're
37:45
listening to our favorite song or watching a compelling movie or television show, that
37:51
we're really with people. We're hearing every aspect of the plot line that they're
37:57
describing, and we're taking the journey with them, and we're not just hearing
38:00
them. We're not just letting people speak. We're asking follow up questions.
38:05
We're asking questions of interest. Oh, okay, when that happened, how
38:08
did that make you feel? What was that like for you? What was
38:14
what were you thinking when that happened? And what happens is when we really
38:19
start to listen on a dynamic level, not just let people be heard,
38:23
because that's kind of like letting someone talk and maybe taking a nap and waking
38:30
up when it's your turn to speak, But when we really listen in a
38:32
dynamic way, that's when people feel seen that's when people feel heard, and
38:37
that's when people feel safe to then open up and invite you to share from
38:44
the same standpoint, because a lot of us have this experience where we want
38:47
to share and we listen to others, but other people don't take the same
38:52
interest we've taken them. But when we really listen from a dynamic level,
38:57
and we really see and hear people as extensions of ourselves, it's amazing how
39:04
much more interested people become in us. And I think that when we start
39:08
to think about communication as an exchange of consciousness. And I say this as
39:15
someone who grew up walking around life when I was much younger, looking for
39:22
someone who's interested in all the fantastic things I needed to share, and from
39:28
that I've grown into this being who is so interested and excited to listen to
39:35
other people first, wanting other people to be seen and heard first, because
39:39
my value is I want to live in a world where people feel safe within
39:45
themselves. So what can I do to create safety for someone else? I
39:50
allow them to be seen and heard. And so it's amazing what happens when
39:54
we start to live from this place, when you start to see and hear
39:59
some one from a dynamic space of listening, you actually feel seen and heard
40:05
when you're truly seeing and hearing someone, because in the laws of unity consciousness,
40:09
the way you engage another person is the way you feel engaged, even
40:15
if their ego can't meet you there. So I began to discover in my
40:19
younger years, when I really meet someone, I'm actually feeling met, and
40:24
I'm feeling met more than if they were just engage with me from their ego.
40:30
So again, when we listen from a dynamic place, when we really
40:35
take interest, when we become more selfless in taking a little bit more attention
40:43
off of our agendas and put that much more attention on seeing and hearing someone
40:47
else, it's amazing how seen and heard and worthy we feel just when hearing
40:55
others from that deep standpointful. The second attribute is validation and embraces encouragement.
41:06
How may we encourage ourselves and one another? You know, earlier we were
41:13
talking about the quote I think from Rabbi Gelberman that you said about everything is
41:17
of divine appointment. I think I'm paraphrasing that, and that everything is is
41:24
a divine occurrence, Everything is happening for a divine reason, and when we
41:30
are encouraging ourselves or others, we are coming from that wisdom, because to
41:37
encourage is to come from the place that everything is happening for a reason.
41:43
This is supposed to be happening. Because we can either encourage, which is
41:49
to move with the current of reality, or we can doubt in question,
41:52
which is to kind of turn, you know, in the other direction.
41:57
And again, there are times in life where questioning and doubting are you very
42:01
fundamental, and we should always question and really find what's true for ourselves.
42:06
But when we encourage other people's experiences, we're helping people remember that their experiences
42:13
are not happening by accident. And instead of telling someone their experience is not
42:16
happening by accident, we just come from that same wisdom and we encourage,
42:22
and what happens is what I've discovered in my journey of helping so many people,
42:27
and what I've discovered in my own personal life is when I encourage someone
42:32
from a place of support, and I've actually had this happen where I have
42:38
given no spiritual insight to someone in my life and my family. It's kind
42:43
of a rule in my life where when I'm not on stage doing the work
42:45
that I do. Someone asks me a direct question, I'll answer it.
42:50
But if you don't ask me a direct spiritual question. In my personal life,
42:52
I don't give spiritual wisdom because there's no consent. So what I challenge
42:57
myself to do is I give no wisdom unless it's asked of me, and
43:00
I just support through encouragement. And I've had people who have had conversations with
43:07
me who have said, thank you for all that wonderful advice you gave me.
43:10
Gave them no advice. I just encouraged them. But what happens is
43:15
is that what we really need as human beings is to be encouraged so that
43:20
we can learn to trust our instincts. We can realize everything's happening for a
43:23
higher reason, and we can start participating in the flow of evolution and start
43:28
returning to spirit. And we can do all of that, and we can
43:31
help everyone move in that direction by just being an encouraging force that helps people
43:40
to embrace their lives instead of turning away from their lives. The third attribute
43:49
is reverence. Reverence implies deep respect. How may we embody this? Reverence
43:55
for me is the recognition that everything is an extension of spirit. So reverence
44:02
as a form of respect. Reverence for me is universal respect that I may
44:07
not like the package life has come decorated in, but it doesn't take away
44:13
from the fact that this is a manifestation of spirit. And if a manifestation
44:17
of spirit has arrived at my doorstep, then there must be a higher reason
44:22
for its existence. It must be here to balance me out. It must
44:27
be here to help me transform one of my weaknesses into a greater strength.
44:30
And so when we come from a place of reverence, we're respecting that I
44:34
may not like how things are packaged, and it certainly is never going to
44:38
be an excuse to justify abuse of behavior. But there's some reason why this
44:45
is happening, and it's occurring for my participation and for my evolutionary benefit.
44:52
And I think when we respect things from a place of reverence, we're able
44:55
to see the invitation of what life is asking of us, and we're able
45:00
to see it much clearer. And again, respecting everything as an expression of
45:05
spirit doesn't mean we allow people to take advantage of us. It means if
45:09
I'm in a position where I need to speak a truth, I need to
45:15
change my life and that might be difficult. Can I also see that Spirit
45:20
has put me in this position to help me move through this difficulty and to
45:24
make it more of a strength instead of something I'm afraid to face or avoid.
45:29
So, no matter what circumstance life brings to us, can we respect
45:37
it as an extension of divine will? Can we respected as a manifestation of
45:43
spirit? And again, never to justify being mistreated? Can we say yes
45:50
to allowing life to transform us for the better, to saying yes to doing
45:54
things that aren't always convenient, but that they're always created to help take a
46:00
weakness, turn it more into a strength, and move us along into the
46:06
next level of our spiritual expansion. The wisdom of my guest Matt Con will
46:12
be back with more of Matt after these words on the Own Times Radio network.
46:16
Humanity Healing International is a small nonprofit with a big dream. Since two
46:22
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someone cares to learn more. Please visit humanityhealing dot org. Humanity healing is
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where your heart is, Matt. We've talked about the Pirs three attributes.
46:50
The fourth attribute is mercy, perhaps the ultimate form of compassion. The fifth
46:53
is worthiness, something that I personally had to struggle with for many years.
46:59
And in this world of twenty four to seven spontaneous information where answers are being
47:02
sought and demanded at light speed. The next one you share is patients.
47:07
What are the attributes of patients and how may we embody these in a seemingly
47:13
impatient world. When we think about patients, patience is really a matter of
47:20
making peace with time. If we have a world that is run by such
47:23
advanced technology, and you know, technology can be very helpful in many ways,
47:30
but I think technology and when used unconsciously, is done to, you
47:37
know, with the positive intention of saving people time. But if you're always
47:40
using technology to save yourself time, you it's easy to forget that time is
47:46
also a very important way in which we learn and surrender to spirit. And
47:53
I think that when we live in a world of such fast paced information gathering,
48:00
the more information we gather and it's such a fast rate, the more
48:05
out of sync with time we become and when we develop the attribute of patients,
48:10
it's about being in sync with time. It's about being aligned with time.
48:15
It's not about trying to fast forward through the world and our journey in
48:20
a race against time. And that when we feel like we're running out of
48:22
time, we're the most lost in the identification with our ego. When we
48:28
are the most in harmony with time, experiencing synchronicities, aware of miracles,
48:34
and experiencing spontaneous manifestations of things. When we're in harmony with time, it
48:42
shows us how integrated our egos are becoming. And so I think that patience
48:46
is such an incredible attribute in the surrendering of our egos as our egos go
48:52
through the rebirth to become the reborn soul of who we are in our awakening.
49:00
Patience is not something we can fake. Patience is not something we can
49:06
pretend because time as a dimension simply is. And so patience is when we
49:15
start to develop an interest in becoming in harmony with time instead of thinking we're
49:20
losing time, we're running out of time, and again it pulls us out
49:24
of fight or flight. It helps us not to be ruled by the whims
49:30
of our desires, and it helps us to develop an attraction to our own
49:36
spirit and to move in the directions that are useful in the expansion of our
49:40
spirit, even if that means certain experiences will take more time instead of less.
49:45
So I really think in a mutchell patience is what helps us come into
49:50
harmony with time, which is a way in which we help to surrender the
49:54
unconscious aspects of our ego and start to go further into the sol render that
50:00
allows our spirit to truly awaken and shine at full capacity. Of all the
50:06
attributes you share in All for Love, I think the last three echo what
50:12
humanity is calling for today. Let's start with gratitude. Gratitude being grateful for
50:20
what is happening, makes what's happening not a circumstance or a mistake. You
50:27
know. Being grateful is the way of saying, not just I accept that
50:32
this is happening by divine appointment. The gratitude says I will celebrate that divine
50:38
appointment through this moment of thankfulness. Bravery is the next one you write about.
50:45
How may we embody this in a world that seems to demand it.
50:50
I think the bravery is not being afraid to make a mistake, not being
50:53
afraid to move in a direction that isn't familiar. I think bravery is being
50:59
willing to be present with life and allowing ourselves to know that we're going to
51:04
learn from life, and we never know what the setup is. Meaning I
51:08
might think that if I do this, something's going to happen, and it
51:12
might create the opposite to happen, and maybe that's the most meaningful thing that
51:15
I need versus what I want. So bravery is a willingness to move in
51:22
the direction that life is guiding us, the willingness to fully show up and
51:27
be ourselves, to risk failing, to risk falling down, knowing that sometimes
51:36
you know, oftentimes we only fall down because of the meaningful journey of getting
51:43
back up. And so bravery at its core is our ability to live at
51:51
full capacity, and it begins by healing our fear of life, healing our
51:59
fear of the day vine, and most importantly, healing our fear of change.
52:04
And so bravery is the acceptance that changes the only inevitability, and being
52:09
willing to move in the direction of change so that I can overcome any fear
52:15
of change as a way of stepping further into the light of my spirits.
52:20
And the last attribute and all for love. The transformative power of holding space
52:24
is forgiveness. Is it possible to find and offer forgiveness for everything and anything?
52:32
And does forgiveness like charity begin at home? Well, that everything can
52:38
be forgiven and forgiveness does arrive at everyone's doorstep. I think the confusing thing
52:45
is that people try to use their egos to be the one who's forgiving,
52:50
like I'm going to be the bigger person and forgive, and that's how I
52:53
start to cope with feeling better about experiences because I'm going to be the superior
52:58
person where people really wrestle with. I can't forgive this experience because if I
53:05
forgive it, that means it's okay that it happened. And the way I
53:07
teach forgiveness is that forgiveness is actually something that washes over you. Forgiveness is
53:14
something that actually comes to you. It's not something that you quote unquote do
53:20
with your ego. And when I experienced forgiveness, and in the book,
53:24
I talk about my experiences with my family, in particular my mom, and
53:30
when I saw when my mom was struggling at the end of her life.
53:34
When I saw that the same pain that I endured from my mom was the
53:39
same pain she carried from her journey and her father. When I saw that
53:45
we were actually in the same pain from different experiences. Just seeing that the
53:52
pain that I felt from my mom was the same pain she carried and hid
53:57
from. Just seeing that created a spontaneous moment of forgiveness. So in the
54:02
book, it's not necessarily about step one through five of how your ego can
54:07
learn to be a forgiving ego. It's actually more of something that we hand
54:12
over to the divine and we say, I know I will forgive, forgiveness
54:16
will occur, and let it wash over me. Let it wash, Let
54:22
it come to me by divine appointment. Let it be a miracle that I
54:25
receive instead of something I'm trying to prove to myself. So I think,
54:30
really the beauty of how I write about forgiveness in the book is it makes
54:36
it less of a tool or an agenda the ego tries to use, and
54:42
it's really a spontaneous miracle that washes over us. All of us will forgive,
54:49
but not because we learn to do it right. There's just a moment
54:52
in every lifetime where we see the pain we carry from someone's behavior or some
54:59
certain ccumstance is the same pain that other people who may have hurt us are
55:05
also in, and just starting to see that the pain we're in is the
55:08
pain other people are in in that moment where our pain may be from different
55:14
circumstances, but our pain is universal. Somehow that shifts our awareness to being
55:20
able to receive the beauty and the gift of forgiveness instead of trying to force
55:25
our egos to be more forgiving. So I think again, the beauty of
55:30
it is allowing forgiveness to be a gift we receive from the divine and not
55:36
something that we're trying to manipulate or get right in any way. Beautiful the
55:42
wisdom of my guest Matt Con we've been talking about his book All for Love
55:46
The Transformative Power of Holding Space. Matt one more time, please share with
55:52
our listeners where they can get your books and find out more about you and
55:53
your amazing work. Absolutely, to check out my upcoming events schedule, to
55:59
check out books, and even to sign up for our free newsletter, please
56:04
go to Matt Coon dot org. That's m A t t K A h
56:07
N dot org. When you sign up for the newsletter, we send you
56:12
a link to our documentary that we're so excited to share with the world.
56:16
Matt, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your amazing wisdom and
56:21
all of this wonderful word, all these wonderful words that you've shared with us
56:23
today. Thank you so much for having me, and thank you for joining
56:28
us on Destination Unlimited. I'm Victor la voice Erman. Have a wonderful week.