Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S2 Ep16: Laugh-Off Legends: Bubba J vs Peanut 🤣

Transcript

S2 Ep16: Laugh-Off Legends: Bubba J vs Peanut 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I heard the other day?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: I heard that some folks get something called a coffee in the I don't know what that is, I don't want to know what that is, and please don't let it ever show up on the menu at Starbucks.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: On the other hand, if you really want to pull an awesome joke when you're standing in line, secretly write it on the chalkboard menu.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: Then you get to register, point to it and say, last time I had that one frozen.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: My butt the shivers.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna open my own coffee place.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: This could be a whole new line of vessel just for me.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: The cafe boute.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: The cottage.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: The best part of licking up is coffee in your butt.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: Stop it! How long have you been like this?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes! So you're addicted to caffeine.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_03: Is there any way you can get off it?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: I tried a patch, that didn't work.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: I stuck it on my arm, took it off my arm, rolled it up, snoped it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yay! And then I tried some kind of gum, but that didn't work.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: Gum, because I got it mixed up with a condom, and that was a big bubble I blew right there.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: I found one.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I know what we're not gonna see on TV.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a professional.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, just kind of got away from me there.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, peanut.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: Stand up.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Come on, stand up.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: You're fun.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Close your mouth.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: Close your mouth.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: Apparently they can understand you and I can't.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Can you close your mouth?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: Huh?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: How uh what how?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: What the hell?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: Huh.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you don't want me to close your mouth.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: What your hair?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: What your hair?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Huh?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Hi.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: What hair?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Hell of a hair.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: He what you do, Bubba J.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing Pertie.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm glad you're here.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I was thinking to come here and I went out the front door to come here and I came here and I got here and here I am.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: So uh Bubba J, what does the J stand for?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: Uh my last name is Junior.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh it's a good thing they didn't name you Junior.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that'd be done junior junior.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's my brother's name.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh so Bubba J, what have you been doing today?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: I've been watching NASCAR and drinking beer.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's your favorite sport.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, NASCAR is too.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, NASCAR is very hot right now.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: Oh I know, everybody loves NASCAR.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, sweet daddy said it's just a bunch of guys driving in a circle.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh I know, that's my favorite part.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: They're making a left turn.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's a sport that's easy to follow when your hands are.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: I understand you got a new tattoo.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I got another one somewhere else that'll grow.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: Did you get it?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: I got it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm tired of hearing that little snatch car fans drink too much.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, because it's not true.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, it's true.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just tired of hearing it.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: Makes me thirsty for another beer.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Well, besides beer, do you ever have wine at the track?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, duh have box wine.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: Box wine.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's wine that comes in a box.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's great because if you had too much to drink, then you got something to throw up in.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: Baba Jay, don't you worry about your health?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: Huh?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: Your health.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, like what?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Your liver?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: My last abduction is the aliens took it.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: You think you got abducted by aliens?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: They took me and they stuck something in my butt.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: And not in the good way.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: Look, Baba J, when you when you go to an ASCAR race and you party a lot, who uh who is your designated driver?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck is that?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_03: Do you drive drunk?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, officer.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm practicing.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: Baba J, have you ever had an intervention?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and penicillin cleared her out.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Christmas time.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Christmas time.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: I love Christmas time in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: Well, the star always sings in his show.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, that reminds me of the song.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Jeff Fuffa Oh Jeff Fuffo, oh Jeff Fuffa.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Without me you would something pop up.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Jeff Fuffer, oh Jeff, you are my bitch.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: Milwaukee and Milwaukee, yes, I love Milwaukee and I love the Dunkin' Dunker You need to go out with me, you know why?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: You go purple, you never go back.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: Milwaukee, Milwaukee, love Milwaukee, and the walker and the walking the walking Peanut, what is wrong with you?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: Nyquel and Red Bull.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: Just hold on, take deep breaths.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: Slow it down.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: Are you okay?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think so.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: Look at me.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_03: Look at me.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, Pina, there's one more member of our family that we need to introduce.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that family?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well now oh my gosh.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_03: I like to be an Angelina Julie adopted.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: Anyone who's still nursing.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry Brad, but I'm the kid and I'm freaking nursing.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: My biggest decision of the day would be let's see uh left or right.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: Or right down the middle.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, that is the cookies here.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: We're leaving you here, Jerky.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, where that came from.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, sound the other game.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, just to make sure you know we lose.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Not you far in the parking ring, we lose.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: All right, now explain everything.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, wait, wait, okay, come back, come back.
• 14:03
  unknown: Come back.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: You're one of the guys.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: I really want to love me.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the red cape?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Is that d is that something wrong with that?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Is it did I say ham?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, your name is offensive, Dunham.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Is he coming back?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Did he have to go party?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: Did pick it up or pull it down?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: Or is there a little flap?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: I have no idea if we're offending anybody, just stop.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care, I go home in a suitcase.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: You're right, I'd better watch your ukulele going home in a box too.
• 15:21
  unknown: Oh yeah!
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: You're back!
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: I was so worried, I thought I'd said something to offend you, and you said, Oh, I know what you have, goodbye.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: I figure some fucking shoes gonna come flying up here and oh, that would be good because then I would have the other one Greetings Adult D infant! I mean folks silence!
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: I kill you What the hell?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: What I threatened to kill them, they all go, yeah!
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: I think some of them actually like you here.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know, since being here, I've been starting to rethink the whole suicide banner thing.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: How's that?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: I blew myself up to get a new place and a few virgins.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Meanwhile, eight guys in the front row here have five mansions each, a bunch of hot wives, and their own skin.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: I had no idea these options were available.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: I love you guys.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Good night.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: But I gotta do something about my gut.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: Are you gonna start working out?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm gonna get a bigger shirt.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody told me that to stay in shape I should get a trainer.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a good idea.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: I did it.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: You did, yeah.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: How's that going?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: Pretty good.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: So far I can sit and shake and roll over.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: And then I get a cookie.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: So, what else do you know about LA?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, the bad traffic here reminds me of Larry.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: How's that?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: You're stuck in it because there's an exit.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: Walter told me to tell that one.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: Here's an old Walter told me.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: You wanna hear this?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: Getting Laird is like your iTunes agree.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: How's that?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_03: You'll have no idea what you're saying yes to, but you'll agree just to it.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Shut the hell up.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_03: So you've been to Disneyland?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I love Disneyland.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Did you see it's a small world?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_03: Is that the one where you go on a date and it turns out she's your cousin, and you go, ooh, small world.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: Then they're done.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, did you know they now sell beer at Disneyland?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: I did know that.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: How old they have to uh be uh drink beer at Disneyland.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, everything goes by hype.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: She got drunk at Disneyland.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: No, I stay drunk at Disneyland.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, but Jay that's not good.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: I know that was bad.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: At the arcade, I thought we were really hunting and I shot Donald Duck.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the big one in the shoot.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: Now he walks a little goofy.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, did you know that here in LA last week some guy tried to sell me a map to the stars?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, did you get it?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm like, duh, buddy, just look up.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: So, Baba J, when we're in Southern California, are you ever worried about earthquakes?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm used to it.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: The ground is always moving when you're hammered.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: If it stops suddenly, that's gonna fall down.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, do they have Walmart in Los Angeles?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sure you like Walmart.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, it's so convenient.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Where else can you get Jesus last kid?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I screwed up the joke.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: Wait a minute, you screwed up the joke! Don't make me say what I did, you did, and then make it your fault, my fault, my brain hurt.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: What were you trying to ask?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, what were you trying to make me ask?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't screw this up, you did.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: I make the dumb, but you're helping me.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: You wanna try that joke again?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: Huh?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: You wanna wanna try the joke again?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yun yin from the start?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: Sure, just just to get it right.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.