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start with yourself · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete "mental health champ": Welcome into Pete First Anxiety. Guys, before we get started today, let's give a shout out to my partners over at PsychPal. Link will be in the bio as always. like I say, always, you guys can get 20% off your first month. You enter Pete at checkout. With that being said, let me welcome in a very special guest today. He's the host of the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. The one, the only Nick McGowan is here with us. Nick, what's up, man? NIck McGowan: Hey man, how's d how's it going, Pete? Appreciate you having Pete "mental health champ": So so Nick was on Voice of the Voices with us. I loved him so much and had to invite him to come hang out with me here again, man. So Nick, why don't you give everybody a quick rundown of a little bit of what you do, man? NIck McGowan: Sure. So I'm the host of the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. Had the show for about five years now. I do the show, episodes come out every other week. So just actually hit the 200th episode that came out. Pete "mental health champ": yeah. NIck McGowan: And the first hundred that I did, I did a recap. And I was like, here's some little clips and like little like mystery science theater 3000 sort of style in a sense. and by the time I did the 200 one, I was like, this would be like a nine hour long episode. I can't do that. So there's a lot that I get into. Primarily mental health, self-mastery, discipline, really the crazy shit that we go through and how we get through it, like anxiety and mental health, et cetera. and also because of the work that I've done through the podcast and how I've grown it, I now help people. So I work specifically with thought leaders and podcasters to be able to figure out who their ideal listener is and then get their message out there to those right people in an authentic way that's for them without burning themselves out. And that ties into mental health. Ties into self-mastery. All of this ties in together. It's funny because I was saying to a client recently, I was like, we were talking about some mental health stuff that was going on. And she was like, I know this isn't really what I've hired you for. I was like, yes, but essentially it is, because this is also what I do. And it all ties together. no matter what we do, we can't separate our mental health from ourselves. We can bypass it, we can run away from it, we can work on it and go through it and all of that, but we can't actually separate ourselves from it. And I think that's part of the reason why we're here to talk, you know, talk about the stuff that Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, definitely. NIck McGowan: we do with anxiety, but also how we work through our lives and what we do. I oftentimes work with not only thought leaders, but people that have some sort of mission or something that's driving them and they're creatives in some sort of way. And I've found that working with creatives, and as a creative myself, we can look at things in many different angles and avenues and sometimes get lost in just, I want to create. instead of just saying, Well, I want to do this with an actual purpose, when there's always a deeper purpose purpose to it. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, no. See, this is why I invited Nick to come over here with us. Cause when we talked to him on Voice of the Voiceless, I loved him. I thought he was great. Maddie enjoyed him too. We had a great time. And I was like, you know, Nick, let me invite you to the main show and let's talk about mental health. You know, like you were saying, you're helping people in their mindsets. And the mindset's a really big thing for a lot of people, you know, because you always meet those people. They always say, Woe is me, but it's like you They don't ask themselves what it is that's putting them in that situation or hey, what can you change about your situation? You know what I mean? Because you run into that a lot of times. There's a lot of people I know that are like that. They just like, whoa is me. Okay, so well, hold up. Think about what's going on. What can you change and do differently? You know, and it's that state of mind that we all get into because we feel like the world's against us, but is it really against us? It's really not. NIck McGowan: Well, it depends. It depends on what our what our outlook is. Because there are stories that are underneath all of it. You know, it can be really Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: easy to say, like, even with somebody who's, let's say, not working or something like that, it's really easy to go, those people are just lazy. Sure, maybe, but they may also just be dealing with different things. I think context is so important. And this is something I've learned Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, one hundred percent. NIck McGowan: over the course of time. Cause as I learn things, it's hard to not just Kind of get burnt out by yourself of the curse of knowledge because you know a thing. Somebody doesn't. You're like, how the fuck don't you know a thing? And then you realize, I didn't know that thing until I knew it. So let me help you understand. And then you can actually make different decisions and choices, et cetera. It's like self-awareness. Like, how can you be aware of something if you are not aware of it? Like, if you don't, if you don't know there's a wall coming up, you you're gonna learn when you hit it, but you won't know because you can't see it, because you're unaware of it. So I think all this stuff ties together, but context is super important. And it's Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: not just mental health, it's not just mindset. Like I've legitimately heard from different people over the years that are like, hey man, you can't mind just out your way through things. I'm like, I get that. Listen to the show. It's a lot deeper than that. But also you Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: gotta you gotta take these pieces too. So if we think of like the mental piece, spiritual, and then our physical body. I'm not trying to get woo-woo with it. In fact, one of the things I think you and I riffed about this before is like I get really practical and try to get to the basics of it. So we as humans can go, cool, I see it. I get it. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: Now what do I do from here? So it's it's like if somebody were to say to you, you know, it's got to be tougher with your mind, you gotta be able to be resilient, you gotta do this and do that, blah, blah, blah. Cool. For the most part, fuck off. Cause a lot of it is just words. And none of it matters to that person if the context for them is based on a story that's inside telling them something that's vastly different that's actually holding them back from it. Like, yeah, I get your words. I hear them phonetically, I can understand them. And also there's something a lot deeper. So something like I've said I work with creatives a lot. I've realized that creatives, and as a musician myself, sometimes it's hard to put things into words. Like I can put things into music that Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: I don't know the words for. But I can feel them. I understand it. It does something deep in my nervous system. And it's like, what would be the word for that? You know? So trying to f figure out how do you put these things into words to say to other people if they go, well, hey, just get your mind right. Like, how do I tell them there's other stuff that's going on and there's more pieces to it? And also, I don't know. And I'm processing through it. So they might just come up with like, shut up, you know, and like walk away. Or or nothing at all, because people often have a hard time within themselves to figure out. What is this? just like you and I are both men, and there's a lot of men that have a hard time actually saying what is actually going on with them. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: It's the emotion. Like every guy knows I'm angry, sure, but really that anger might actually be you're really disappointed and you're hurt and you feel betrayed, or you feel something that ties into that, and it's a lot deeper than that. So I I think from the perspective of just mental health or mindset. It has to always be incorporated into our context and what we've done and how life has shaped us to that point. Like we might go into something, because really when I think of mindset, I think it's the mind in action. And it's based on a bias bias and interpretations from things that have happened in the past. So you might go into something with a mindset of like, I'm gonna fucking do this thing and we're gonna do it right. Or you're gonna go in with, yo, last time I walked through this door, I got punched in the mouth. So my mindset is on the defense or something like that. It's a piece to be able to change that. Like, Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: yes, you want to be able to adjust that so that it fits better for the situation, but it's not just that thing that needs to be adjusted. It's almost like there are valves and things inside that need to be turned and pressure that needs to be let out and stuff that needs to be processed through. Just like for the most part, a lot of people talk about narcissism or trauma. Like they're Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. NIck McGowan: just buzzwords at this point. And it sucks that they're buzzwords because not everybody's a narcissist. That's like legitimately 1% of humans. Pete "mental health champ": Right. NIck McGowan: but they may have tendencies toward it. And we as people will go, well, that makes sense. I know a word for that, so let me put a word to it. Trauma is similar in that sense, where I think a lot of people just go, this thing was traumatic. And they may be 100% truthful in what they're saying and the definition of it, but people will interpret it in some sort of way. I'm calling that out because I think we need to stop interpreting it. Like if somebody Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: says this was traumatic to me, just shut the fuck up and take it at their word. Because it's whatever it was to them. That small T may be a big T for them. It might be something different, but again, back to the context of it. Like having a podcast. This is where we get to have these conversations and go, what's deeper? What's actually Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: going on? How did you work through this stuff? How did you tie these things together? cool. And then I can see how it works in my own life or other people's, etc. So The people that are listening, the the situations that we go through, it's not just a mental thing that we go through, but that is a good barometer of being able to say there's pressure here. There's stuff to look at and things to work through. Like if you're constantly irritated, it's probably not your natural state. Like you didn't come out of the Pete "mental health champ": Right. Yeah. NIck McGowan: womb just like, geez, what the fuck am I here for? maybe some people did. Pete "mental health champ": Exactly, 'cause I was the same way for a while. NIck McGowan: Yeah, but like, but once you are able to unpack those things. And then figure out what the pieces are, that's where the real work happens. 'Cause you know, it's real easy to go, well, you'd unpack this stuff and then just get your mindset right and th put dirt on it and you'll be all right. It's like, no, you have to figure out what those things are. Pete "mental health champ": Got it. Yeah, yeah. See, listen, the bit the dirt thing came up. Actually, it's funny you say that, Nick. The dirt thing came up earlier in a conversation I was having with somebody. I was on TikTok hanging out with a friend. This guy came in and said his dad's mentality was always just put a little dirt on it, it'll be okay. I Yeah, but that doesn't apply to everything though. Sometimes you gotta really NIck McGowan: Sure. Pete "mental health champ": worry about what it is, you know. And I was like, I respect his opinion, obviously. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying, you know Fuck is a thought process, but you know, at the same time, that's the thought process that gets us in a lot of trouble now is men. You it's like, well, put a little dirt on it, don't say nothing. It's okay. That's what's killing half of us. We're not saying shit to each other, and we just need to start talking. You know, whether it's talking to your own friends or talking to somebody, talk to someone. Shit, call Nick or me. We'll answer and talk to you because fuck we're losing guys way too quick. Like the suicide numbers are just right there, you know, and it's just and then this whole thing about men's mental health, my dick, it pissed me off. Is these pe Somebody else tried the same thing the last person did. well, fuck men's mother. I'm like, you couldn't see the outcome of this going any worse than what is about to happen. she's on here, you know, and then she got demonized by everybody. Think about the woman that was throwing a party in her video. That woman got kicked off the internet so fast, and it's like, why? Why do you feel like you want that you want that smoke because you don't? Because once you start that shit, you open the floodgates to people coming in your lives to start doxing you. Everything else, man, they start putting all your information out there because they take that shit serious. And it's like. Well, you know, it's you know why they put it in Pride Month because and like no one is saying any of that shit. And you know, the funny part was what is it? Somebody told me was the statistic was that most gay most people in the gay community are mostly men. It's like, okay, so now they're men too. So technically it goes hand in hand, like shit, now you're just double dipping now at this point. It's like it's like a raise NIck McGowan: And a lot of Pete "mental health champ": bait video, but now you're getting more rage than you can handle. It's like, well, you asked for this smoke. NIck McGowan: Sure. Yeah. And a lot of this is just activity and kind of noise. Because at Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: the bottom of it, like if we get back to that person saying, Well, my dad used to say put dirt on it. One, cool. Do you have anything else you want to add to the actual conversation? Cause if that Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: was it and just a statement, it's like somebody walking in the room yelling and leaving. Like, all right, cool. Thanks. Which a lot Pete "mental health champ": Right. Yeah. NIck McGowan: of social media is. People just come in and they just bark about things and then just disappear. It's like, okay, cool. So I think about that in any sort of situation. If you're going to give me a fucking problem, at least offer up some sort of solution or just shut the fuck up and go away. Because if you have some sort of idea of this is what we can do or this is what I do with it, my dad used to say the same shit, put some dirt on it. He would say different things and whatever, but I would hear that every once in a while. And basically what I took it as was, dude, just get up, brush yourself off, add a little on to it if you want to, and then just get back at it. And having a deeper conversation with my pop, and especially later on to like break things down. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: he would actually tell me, like, look, I understood that you were a kid that didn't fully understand these things. So I would say it in such a way to package it nicely so your feeble little mind would fucking get it and be Thanks, Dad. Got it. It was like, cool. Well, then from there, we were able to understand, like, look, once you get back in and you do these things, you'll learn something. So what do you do differently that time, etc.? But think about about where people just stop, put some dirt on it. And then they just shut up. Really? Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: We can't stop there. And also we have to go further back. Why did your Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: dad say just put dirt on it? What did that mean to him? So everybody starts to interpret these different things and starts to yell at each other and say that this is that and this is this thing and whatever. And it's like, in all reality, what actually happened and what's actually going Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: on here instead of just yelling nonsense and let's get to the core of it. So that's my challenge to people is like, look, there's a lot of bullshit. You're gonna hear a lot of bullshit. You probably talk a lot of bullshit. I mean, everybody does, and there's all the stuff out there. Even if it's not just post it on social media, you read something and go, well, that was the dumbest thing I've heard in the past 20 minutes, or whatever you thought. We interpret so many things and then spit those interpretations out instead of going, okay, well, what can I do with it? Think about how much information we actually ingest. And most of it we're not consciously aware we're ingesting. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: That amount of information that gets into us changes the way that we handle things, changes the way that we react and respond, on top of all the other trauma and everything else that we've been through, weird situations, back to like third grade where you showed somebody some picture you drew and they went, that's stupid. You go, well, my feelings hurt and I'm seven or whatever. Like that now translates into your late 30s or whatever. All of this stuff adds up and we still just interpret things. So my challenge is to be aware of it. And go, I feel this thing, or I want to say this thing back and do a little bit of digging inside to go, well, what is it? What do I get from somebody saying, just put a little dirt on it? What does that actually mean? Like Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: most people just say shit and they don't, well, I don't know what that means, but here I'm just gonna put it out there. So I I challenge us to look for receipts within ourselves of where that stuff had come from, but also what it means to us. Because I could say to you, just put dirt on it and you could you could understand it and interpret it in one sort sort of way or another. And none of that is up to me to be able to say anything or do anything or what have you, but it's on us. Like we are accountable to ourselves. And that's a thing that I think as we get older, we can only just be accountable to ourselves. If you have a partner, you have kids, you have a business, you have all these things, great. Like you first and foremost need to be accountable to yourself. And if there's stuff that's being said that that just doesn't sit well with you, then ask questions. So you had said Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: we need as men need to talk to people. I agree. I really, really, really do. And I think we also need to talk to healthy people. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Good point. Okay, good point. Very good point. All right. NIck McGowan: But we need to talk to ourselves first. So having these conversations with ourselves to go, well, that thing just didn't feel right, or somebody said this thing, or this thing happened. If there's something that feels a little strange to us, do something with it. I think there's like two different sides here, because there's like, and I know we're going down just the path of men, but there's like the shitty, real toxic men that still really believe that the world should be hateful and people who are different are that don't deserve to be here. Like, Those people don't deserve to be here. So let's get those out of here. They're not part of this conversation. The people that have something that come up and the men that go, you know, somebody at work said this thing, and that just felt odd to me. Don't just let it go. You don't have to bring it up to your wife or your partner or your friends or anybody yet. Just fucking think on it a bit and go, well, what was it? What was it that stood out? Was it something like homophobic they said? That you were like, you know, we've been saying this since we were kids. And I really don't feel good saying it, or Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: whatever the situation is. But it takes self-awareness to be able to actually do something with that. And that's a thing that I I think really gets calcified in a sense. Like you hang out with these people, keep doing these shitty things, then you feel like, you know, maybe I should step outside of this group. And you don't. And it just gets hardened and more hardened and more calcified, where it's harder to then be able to hear your intuition of like, hey, there's a problem here. it's like I I everybody's context is different. So I can't say there's like this one moment that happens, but I Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: think self awareness is the most important part. Like if we're not aware of it and we don't start acting on that and like growing that muscle, then we're not gonna change anything. And if we're good without changing, then great. But I suspect those people don't listen to this. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, true. Very true. I think I think you covered a lot of really good points though, because looking at yourself first is always the first thing. And then, you know, it's always hard for people to change that circle of friends. Like I did that. I started removing certain people out of my life, and then they were all dramatic, and then it came for to fruition. That's why I removed them. It had nothing to do with anything else. I do the fact that that what they're doing, the minute they were removed, they got so toxic they started trying trashing my name and saying these things. And it's like, okay, cool. You just made the reason why you're no longer. NIck McGowan: Ha ha. Pete "mental health champ": in the inner circle anymore. You're just proving it to everybody now. Everybody's seeing what I'm seeing, you know? And a lot of people are asking me about it. well what happened? I'm like, you'll see. Just wait. I'll just see. And I sat back and watched and literally tell you, it sh literally just showed up. Like you could see it. The person was very toxic, very manipulative. And then everybody started watching what they're doing. And till this day now, now the name comes up again. yeah, you can't wanna watch out for that one. I try to tell y'all, y'all listen to me. Like I try to tell all of them. I'm like, y'all need to be careful this person. That's why I removed them. That's the only reason I removed There's, you know, it was this. No, it was because look what they're doing. They're acting so toxic. They're acting childish. I don't have time for that. Like what I'm doing now, I just don't I don't need it anymore. I don't need the drama. I don't need the energy draining. I don't need to hear it. Anybody like negative people, and people that are constantly negative. Okay, cool. Like I gotta go and I'll call you later. And then ever call them back because I don't want to hear all that. Like I get that if you have a problem, you want to come talk to me, that's cool. But If it's constant just negativity, I just can't do it anymore, man. I just it just drags me down and I'm just not that type of person anymore. So removing those people out of my circle has made it better. And I did a lot of self-discovery that like I said when we met, when we met the first time I was telling you about that, I did a lot of self-discovery and I realized, you know, a lot of things I was doing, you know, that were my fault, and I accepted the fault of all those things. And and things have changed a hundred percent. Now I have an actual relationship with my daughters. I actually saw them on Fourth of July. Had a conversation. I would never have had it had I not started doing these inner self changes, you know. And NIck McGowan: Hmm. Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": another thing I did in season two when I met somebody, he was telling me about, you know, like when I was abandoned when I was a kid, apparently it it really affected me a lot more than I realized. So he was like, you know what, you could talk to your inner child, which I know a lot of people listening are right were like, What the fuck? I'm like, it worked though. It I I see changes. People are telling me they're seeing changes, you know. I mean, it's just not me. I feel it, I'm seeing it because Other people are telling me the same thing, like, whoa, you're not the same person I knew like X amount of years ago. You're a whole NIck McGowan: Mm-hmm. Pete "mental health champ": different, you know, and the mindset changed too, because I met somebody that we were we're learning about mindfulness, and now I can't look at things the same way because now I look at it from a different perspective, you know, and it's and it's all right. Like I said. And then when I met you, I was like, shit, I'm like, I love this guy. Like the way you're the way you just address things and things you say, you know, things like I was just like, I loved it. So that's why I invited you to come to this show because I was like, man, these guys got to hear this guy, trust me. And I love what Nick does. Nick's great. He's straight to the point. Doesn't sugarcoat it for you. And that's that's good for NIck McGowan: Mm-hmm. Pete "mental health champ": me. But you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta find those people that it works best for with you with whatever person's your best approach. Nick may not be your approach, but that's for me. I loved him. I fair I want to share him with everybody in case anybody out there likes that rough edge because I like it. I don't mind it. I like the way he speaks about things because it fucking makes me laugh the whole time. He's great, like I said. Nick and I have a fucking blast. NIck McGowan: I know. Yeah. There's a lot of it is for comic value in certain wa ways, even just for myself. It's funny, Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: I'll go I'll say some shit or like go back through a clip or put something up and I'm like, that was pretty funny. Pete "mental health champ": I just love how unfiltered you are because it's like it's just real and some people just can't handle that. And I tell people like I love unreal people. I like people are just real raw and everything and that's the way the show has always been. It's just raw, man. Like I just tell people lit rip, they're like, Can we swear in here? I'm like, Yeah, we can. What the fuck not? Like, let's fucking say whatever we want. NIck McGowan: Yeah. Fuck it. Well, I I think there's there's a an understanding within yourself to be that way. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: Like so I I do a lot of networking and speaking and all that sort of stuff. And there are certain people that don't enjoy the mouth, you know. Like this just like every once in a while I feel like something needs a good old fuck. You're like, fucking thing, you know, like that. you can't Pete "mental health champ": Right? Yeah. No, I agree. NIck McGowan: be like that fragan or that that just doesn't has the same oomph, you know. I also don't direct it at people. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, exactly. NIck McGowan: And I think that's like back to the noise where people are like, you fucking asshole, you this thing, you that, blah, blah, blah. And they're just throwing things because they don't actually understand how to have a deeper conversation. Where if we use this, it's just language, it's adding dynamics and influence of things. And you know, you're just adding little pieces and like flavor to it. I think there's importance to flavor and food and spice. So same deal. Like it's not like every word is a a curse word, but Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah. yeah, no, no. See, that's the thing about you, man. NIck McGowan: I Pete "mental health champ": It's just the way you approach it is just just straightforward. You know what I mean? But that works for me, though. I liked it. I I saw that. I was like, damn, I like this. I want to have a deeper conversation, just the two of us, me and him. You know, NIck McGowan: Sure. Pete "mental health champ": now Maddie may not like that whole thing. I don't know. You know, she she had a great time, but you know, she may I like things the way I like it, because I don't mind these kind of conversations. I love it. I love the fact that you're just honest. You should have met this guy I met the other day, Jeremy. Man, he was fucking hilarious, dude. He had Code words for everything, calling people dumbasses, and then had his own explanation for what how he calls them dumb asses. I'm like, this dude was great, NIck McGowan: Mm. Pete "mental health champ": man. You'd love dude. He was coming with these things, and it's the first time I thought it was you, man. I'm like, damn, this has gotta be Nick. This is gotta be the this is the this is the Nick version of neuroscience over here, man. But he was he was NIck McGowan: Code words are funny. I get that. I got I got a couple of those. Pete "mental health champ": great though. Like he was very knowledgeable, he was straightforward, he had his own system of things he was saying. I love the way, like it's just the way he approached things. He made neuroscience like digestible for people, which is great because when you beat some of them. I don't think I've ever met a neuroscientist yet though, so far that hasn't made it palatable for people to understand things. But this guy was fucking cracking me up. He kept making me think of you, Nick, a little bit, because I'm like, and I'm Yeah, Nick would love dude a hundred percent. This dude is funny as hell, you know? Because like I like I said, man, I NIck McGowan: That's funny. Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": just like the bro I like the bro the approach, though, man. You're like, Well, fuck it, you know, just you don't like it, get him the fuck out of there. And it's the same way I tell people the same thing. I'm like, it's gonna be a little sound a little gonna be a little round edge for you, but just tell them to go fuck off. I mean, that's what I mean. When people start picking on you, NIck McGowan: Sure. Pete "mental health champ": say shit, just tell them go fuck off somewhere. I'm like. You know, it's it's not that hard, you NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": know. Don't let these people ruin your day, especially when you're on the social media sites, especially the social media site. God, dude, there's so much fucking drama that goes on. This that's why I said NIck McGowan: Just get off. Get off of them. Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": I took a month off and people were like, are you okay? I just need to regroup. That's all I told them. I wouldn't NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": say much, I just said I just gotta regroup. I gotta re-look at things. I can't I can't it's just it was too much, man. It's like y'all are doing way too dramatic. And now you come back and NIck McGowan: Dude, I get it. Pete "mental health champ": it's like drama. It's like, fuck it, I'm out. See you later, I'm gone. Yup y'all keep that shit, keep me away. So but you know, it's NIck McGowan: Yeah. Well, Pete "mental health champ": It's been great though. NIck McGowan: these are also the circles through not only just social media, but everything else that's going on that we can change those things. And I want to touch on this too because so I do appreciate you you like the honesty and the raw and all that. I I'm just me. Like we have conversations before we're hit record, it's the same fucking thing. Like this is just how I am. And Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Nick is one hundred percent the realest person you're gonna meet, I'm telling you, right now. NIck McGowan: Well, I that's part of what my calling is, is to just be me. Because the more Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: me that I can be, the better I am at being able to serve how I best fit on this fucking planet. And I think that ties directly into purpose and our calling. So figuring Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: out what that is, it's not just one thing. It's where the timing kicks in. Like I'm a podcaster now. A hundred years ago, maybe I was a dude standing on a peach box yelling at people Pete "mental health champ": Right. NIck McGowan: from the corner. Fuck if I know. Like that would have been then. But we have technology now, and the podcast is what I do, which has led me Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. yeah. NIck McGowan: into working with other people that talk specifically from their authentic side. And I don't say that from like a, I teach people how to be themselves. And we get to the depth of this stuff because this is like the whole point of the conversation Pete "mental health champ": Okay. NIck McGowan: we're having. How do you actually understand yourself? And what are the things that are holding you back? So, like you touched Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: on childhood or your inner child. People think that's woo-woo. That's fine because they just don't understand that scientifically that's Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: there. just like people thought what we're doing now with technology was woo-woo, and science showed us years and decades later, here we are. So there's a lot of stuff that we just don't understand. But for somebody to understand, I was a kid at one point. Got it, right? Like you're cool with that? Cool. All right. So you were a child at one point, and then you were a little older. And you went, you know what? I fucked around and found out a little bit ago and I found some things that I didn't like. So you made some changes, right? So you basically learned from the shit you did as your little kid. So let's say your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, now you're looking back, you can actually go into your mind and into your subconscious Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: back to that time and essentially just have a conversation as well as rework Pete "mental health champ": Yes, you can. NIck McGowan: what happened. So I do a lot of subconscious processing, which is literally that, where they're deep. Deep sessions for like a few hours at a time. And I've had conversations with little Nick, little seven and nine-year-old Nick, hanging out with him and working that stuff. So I know that that works. But there are also people that don't believe trauma actually lives in your cells. And I know that that is the case as well. And all this stuff needs to be processed through. So the things that we might think are woo-woo, or we just don't understand, I'm going to call you out because if you don't understand it, don't shit on it. Just look into Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: it. Go what is this? And if you have an understanding of it, like think about it. You were a kid at one point, and then you were a little older, and you learn from things. Like, we're all on the same page with that. Like, all of us get that. So once you understand that concept and you walk into what is it like with your inner child, etc., that's where we get into the subconscious realm. And there's a lot of shit that we do subconsciously that we just don't know that we're doing that keep Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: irritating us. And that's why I I That's why just lean deeper into who I am because, like, dude, honestly, the more that I learn and that I go through, the more that I see the patterns in things, and the more that it's kind of hard to not see patterns in other people or other Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: situations. But I've had to learn what it's like to not be that guy that's like, I see this, I see this. Like, shut the fuck up. Like, let me just live, let me do my thing. Like you might hear me at different times ask, like, can can I offer something? It's me basically saying, Can I smack you in the face real quick? But like, can you give me permission? As long as you give me permission, we're good, you know? but in a in a nice way. And that's what I'm wrapping this back up to is being able to understand it's it's having grace within ourselves, but look, it's just us. Like we're walking this planet. We might have other people around us. You're gonna have people that are part of a journey for a little bit and then not any longer. It's still Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: just you. So being able to figure out what feels right for you can feel weird and awkward, but what the fuck else are we doing? Like people that are in jobs or in different companies or whatever they're doing that they just don't feel right doing and they don't want to do it, start just asking yourself what's going on to be able to figure out what actually Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: feels more right to do and just have grace with ourselves. Like I think about it this way. I tried to kill myself a handful of different times. I've tried to legitimately take myself off the planet. I've now taken that off the table. So if that's off the table, I can't take myself. Out of the game anymore, why not just play the fucking game? And why not play Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: our own game and not play the systems that the world tells us about? But we have to be aware of that. So I'm not trying to get all convoluted with it, but there are so many different parts and pieces that I think, like if we understand there are systems and things that are actually fucking with us. Like a lot of us have different things that we do that we don't want to do. Like, look at even capitalism. Yes, it's great to have money and spend money and all of that, but all reality, like fuck. If I could just play music and just work with people on their podcasts all day long and I didn't have to charge them anything, I would love to do that. Unfortunately or fortunately, whichever way you want to look at it, I make money off these things because capitalism. But if we got Pete "mental health champ": Yep. NIck McGowan: away from that, and look, we can't take ourselves out of reality, but you can actually pause for a minute and go, well, what would that look like if money wasn't a problem? What would that look like if I had time to do things? I've actually seen people before that were like, Well, I'm a lawyer and I want to work at a music store or I want to be an artist. Like, cool. How do you just do that this weekend? Not leave your job, but why not go to Michael's and get some get a canvas and like a couple Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: paintbrushes and fuck around to find out? Like worst case, you go, I'm terrible at this. I don't want to do this anymore. Great. Then you move on to something else. Or you go, Yeah, this is really awful, but I think I'd get better at it. And I'm having fun, because whatever. Pete "mental health champ": You know, the that's the same thing I told people when they asked me about podcasting. I a girl this morning who's like, we're gonna start a podcast and like go for it. Like the same thing, like go for it. What do you have to lose at this point? Try it. If it's something you like, okay. If you don't, all right, it happens. Because a lot of podcasters don't make it past a few episodes. I'm like, you know, if you have any questions, NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": just ask. Like I'll tell you what I'm using and you know, things and it's like y you know, it's hard. People real realize how much work goes into some of these, you know. Like we were talking about the one girl you said was trying to do her thing weekly. I'm like, I don't know how people do that, man. I'm sorry. Me to me, it doesn't work. But whatever systems work for you, though. I have a system now where it makes sense. Before when I first started this thing, fuck, it was chaotic, dude. Like I was trying to schedule people every week and get things done and then people wouldn't show up and shit would just happen. I'm like, you know, it was just too stressful. Then then I found, you NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": know, count these extra calendars I could use, other things like that. Other things help me post on all the social medias. Cause at one point I was trying to post everything myself. Now I have these little systems in place where it's so much easier for me. I just load them in and let them go. You know, and things like that too. And a lot of people are like, Well, you know, that looks like a lot of work. To me, it's not. It's not work. I enjoy what I do, enjoy talking to people. I had Kimberly Lou on this season. She was really cool too. She's been on ESPN, HBO, all these other big names. But when she got in the studio, the coolest person you've ever met, because she it she didn't let the fame go with her head. She was really cool, gave great advice, you know, things like that NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": too. And then that's that's that's the great thing about this. And I love it, you know, but I tell everybody, like, go for it. Why not? It's the same thing, no matter what it is, like you were saying, you don't have to quit your job. Just go for it. I didn't quit my job. I moved, but I still do it anyways. You know what I'm saying? I love it. It's I did this on top of a full-time job. And I still NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": love it because people, people love what I'm doing, you know, and the fact that, you know, I get to give people that space and that place to say things and meet people like yourself, you know, and connect other people too. And the great thing is all the networking, all the new friends I've made podcasting, all the different people that are different hosts and invite me to come on shows NIck McGowan: yeah. Pete "mental health champ": all the time. You know, they're like, do you want to come on my NIck McGowan: All over. Pete "mental health champ": show? And I I only have X amount of fall. I don't care. I'm coming. Let's go. When do I gotta be there? You know? I in fact I met somebody the other day. She was like, she was helping the other woman with her tech side of things. And it was the truth lies in Alzheimer's show. I was on the show, but I didn't do the podcast for it because we were waiting for other group of people that were supposed to be there. But the girl was like, Hey, can I can I say something? Like she's like, Yeah, and then she starts pitching me, like, hey Pete. I think we line and everything. I'm like, yeah, let's go for it. She Well, I invite you to my show and I a lot of followers. I don't give a fuck. Let's go. I'm ready. Let's go. Hey, I don't gotta do any work. Hey, sign me up. I'm down. I I say yes to everybody. Anybody, even with the smallest podcast, you know, because it's like we've all been there. We know what it was like in the beginning. You know, asking people to do this thing, you know, hearing all the no's, and then you finally get those yeses, and then the yeses roll in. And then it's like, you know, people ask how I get certain people. I'm like, dude, I just ask. I'm gonna be honest with you. I just shot my shot and I I NIck McGowan: Shoot your shot. Pete "mental health champ": I do. That's how I got Kimberly Lou to come on. I was fucking NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": shocked when she said yes. I was like, Is she talking to me? And it was her. It was her directly talking to me in the messenger. yeah, that was me messaging you. I'm like, Okay. You know, and it was just like, you know, just like that. And that's why I tell people, I'm like the same thing you're like, just go, why not go for it? See what it is. Give it a taste. If you like it. NIck McGowan: Yeah. I do have a little bit of a caveat with that. I think it's important Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: to understand the direction you want to go. I've never Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: been one of those people that it's like, I need to know my five, ten, fifteen year plan is. I tried that at different times, like especially in my early twenties, Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Can't do that. NIck McGowan: but I was like, fuck, I don't fucking know. And then the way life Pete "mental health champ": Ha ha. NIck McGowan: has worked out, life just lifed and life Pete "mental health champ": Right. NIck McGowan: has worked out incredibly well. But it's important to understand the direction that you want to go. And I've Pete "mental health champ": Exactly. NIck McGowan: understood that because of what has happened with me. So in a shortened version of this. I'm a musician, I'm actively working on an album. I've been playing music Pete "mental health champ": Hell yeah. NIck McGowan: for a long, long, long time, played in bands, did tours at different times, all that sort of stuff. At one point realized, well, maybe I should go start making lots of money and get married, maybe have kids at some point, like dove headfirst into the the whole system of all of that. And took a lot of time out of it. And maybe 2017, 18, after like five, six years of like really being out of music, Started to get back into it, started messing around, doing my just home demo stuff, just having fun, which was totally different Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, of course. NIck McGowan: than how I did it back in the day where I pushed and like we were gonna be fucking rock stars. Like slip knot, they're gonna open for us, sort of thing. And like, okay. but I pushed and did all these things, took some time away from it. And when I started to come back to it, I was like, you know what? Like deep in the back of my mind, I was like, I really want to do this. I love production. And not only just the editing of wiggling sound. But actually helping people create and working through things and stacking and layering. I love the process of it, all of that. And over the course of the next handful of years, let's say from like 18 to 21, I was just messing around doing my own stuff. I was like, this would be really cool if maybe I could do something. I hired somebody in the musical realm to teach me how to do mastering. I basically paid this guy like thousands of dollars, learned some things from him, and went, cool, I'm gonna start a podcast and headed that direction. Here we are just to jump five years later. The studio I'm in right now is actively a part of a recording studio, which is actively where I'm recording my album. So my studio and office is now part of a multi-million dollar recording studio. 2,000 miles away from where I was back in 2020 or 21 when I was thinking about all of this. But having the idea and the direction that I at least want to go in that direction, I'm not a full-time musician, but It has all opened up the doors to all the people I work with, thought leaders, authors, practitioners through the podcast, and specifically working with them in the realm of what I do when it comes to figuring out a thought leadership strategy, which is that direction that you take. This is the conversation we have and being able to resonate Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: with our ideal listener. But a few years ago, like this was just kind of an idea of it would be cool. So heading in that direction, I think starts with us asking, what do I want? What feels off? 2021, I was married. Handful of months later, I was no longer married. And asking, what do I want to do differently? And like, how do I want to go with these things? So to kind of wrap this stuff up, I think it's important for us to understand that if there are things that feel a little off or feel a little weird to us mentally, physically, all that, just take note of it and go, all right, well, what feels a little off or what is it that I what would feel more on? Like, what do I want to do? You're in a job doing a thing, but you want to be a painter, you want to be an artist, or you want to be whatever. Maybe that'll turn into a business at some point. Maybe it'll turn into a shift. Like my business became me working with thought leaders and specifically in the medium of podcasting. I headed down the direction of I want to do editing for audio and sound and video. And it opened up all these doors just by going, cool. Well, I'm going to head down this direction. Here's an opportunity. Well, that was weird. Don't ever go down that path again. All right, let me try this one. Yeah, like all that stuff. But we have to fuck around and find out. Pete "mental health champ": huh. NIck McGowan: At least I've had to. That's the way that it's worked for me. My challenge is for us to be able to look at the things that feel off and just ask ourselves what feels off. If you want to bring it up to a partner, spouse, friend, whatever, great. But at least talk to yourself and go, you know, this thing happened today and I no longer want to be at this job anymore. Well, I have to pay my bills, so I'm not just gonna leave tomorrow. But what can I do? What feels right for me to do? Where I I've seen a lot of people get into coaching or they get into some sort of thing where they're like, they just don't know what to do. So they jump at something else and then go, well, that didn't work. I guess I'm a failure. It's like, no, you're still trying to figure it out. But let's stop just jumping and go, Well, time out. What do I actually want here? All right, cool. Let me start walking in that direction. Like I want to do more audio and video and work with creatives. Now I do. And I'm actively going in the studio, like this evening, going back into put lead over a couple tracks and like awesome, you know, but this took the direction from a few years ago. So we'll look at stuff because social media tells us everything should happen right now and it's bullshit. Take the time Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: it's going to take. If you're going to fucking be here on the planet, just keep walking. Just keep going. But pick the direction you feel like this feels right to go and walk down that way and figure out what you need to do as you go through it. But not everything has to happen all at once. And you don't have to be angry and upset. You do need to be more self aware though. I think that's my big thing that I would leave everybody with. Pete "mental health champ": Yep. Well, Nick, we're at that part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you two questions. Okay. So the first one you're gonna like because you're a musician, all right? So if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? And you can pick anything you want, man. You're a musician here, so I'm interested to hear what you're picking. NIck McGowan: Well, I don't think it's appropriate to say what my intuition immediately popped out. but I feel like I need to. Fuck. Well, I brought up Slipknot and immediately people equal shit popped up. Pete "mental health champ": it's gotta be good. You gotta. Mm-hmm. Yeah. NIck McGowan: And I was like, no, but that is pretty anthemic. And I'm not a huge slipknot guy. I mean, I remember back in the day, like two thousand, two thousand one when they came out, and I was like, legitimately, Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: who the fuck are these clowns? Huh. Pete "mental health champ": That was a going trend back then though. Think about it, 'cause you had mushroom head as well, had the mask on. NIck McGowan: Mushroom head yeah, but mushroom head was easily like we see what they did. K. Stop guys, knock it off. You two Pete "mental health champ": Right. They're like, we're gonna go copy that. NIck McGowan: dope, whatever you think you're doing, knock that off. man. There are a lot Pete "mental health champ": та без NIck McGowan: of different well, there are a lot of different songs that come up. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: and it's more so when I think like there are songs that lyrics mean things to me and all, but there are like little clips of Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: things that have different moments and stuff. The big thing that I think of, if there was like really a song that is for the most part what my mental health journey is, it would most likely be a periphery song from like some of their later stuff, like periphery Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: four or five, something like that, that gets really crazy heavy. And then also atmospheric and there's just a lot of stuff that goes into it. but there's definitely swings, like shit, even just driving. Like yesterday I was driving and at one moment I was listening to Sinatra. And moments later I'm listening to Broken Cog by Meshoga. And I'm Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. NIck McGowan: just literally rolling down the street in three, four right after Sinatra. so yeah, that doesn't directly answer it, but that's close. Pete "mental health champ": Yep. That's that's how my play is about. Mine jumps all over the place. My newest song now for my mental health is How Do You Sleep by Hooby Stink. I know if you ever heard that one yet, dude. That it just fits it right NIck McGowan: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": in with how it is for me, man. It's just like that constant strumming going, man. I drove my f I'm talking my girlfriend crazy with it. She's Can you singing that song? Or I'm like, I can't get it sound of my head, dude. This song is so goddamn good. So it just kept going and she's like, I swear to God, if you don't stop singing this fucking song, I'm gonna I'm gonna muzzle you, I promise you. All right, Nick. So we're to the final question. And the reason I started this podcast is that if you could break the stigma about mental health, what would that one thing be? Look, he's really thinking about this. By the way, Nick, the best answer so far to the music question was grandma got ran over by a reindeer. I damn near fell out of this fucking chair with a guy who said that. NIck McGowan: Interesting because that's almost got like a happy vibe to it, like my got run over by Pete "mental health champ": That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean? Like I the minute he said that shit, dude, I almost fell out of this chair laughing so hard. It's like, Are you serious? He goes, Yeah, you know. I was like, no. NIck McGowan: shit. And I didn't even think about that, but you what's kind of fucked up. And I don't mean to bring this like way down, but I'm going to, I guess. My grandmom died a couple years ago on Christmas Eve. She didn't get run over by a reindeer. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. jeez. NIck McGowan: I believe her heart gave up, but all right. So I I think real realistically, and I'm trying to like get it into one sentence, but we don't have to do all this stuff alone, but we do need to start there. That's really I think the biggest thing. Like the stigma is we can't talk about it. Wait, we can talk about it. Wait, you don't want to bitch about it too much. I said something to somebody, now they're just blank staring at me. Forget it. If they were born in like 2001, that's just what they're gonna do anyway. But I mean, the people that you just say things to and you're like, I feel weird saying this, we have to start with ourselves. And I think for the most part, breaking the stigma of you're broken because you're not. There's just things that are holding you back or things that you need to go through. We got to start with ourselves. And then it does take other people to be able to help us because sometimes we just can't we can't do this stuff on our own. And even if you can, it's nothing like having accountability of like saying something to somebody else and then just holding you accountable, even just with their eyes. You're like, I can't get out of this. So I guess I need to work through it. and that the work, I guess an a stigma to this as well is like the work is ongoing and it's hard. it's not really stigma, that's more of a fact, like it is. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. NIck McGowan: It's ongoing and it's hard, but 'tis life. So have fun with it. You know, like it doesn't have to be crazy. life doesn't have to be crazy, but I think we can make it what we want it to be. so real stigma-wise it would be you don't have to do it alone, but you need to start. Pete "mental health champ": Love it, man. Well, Nick, thank you so much for coming and hang out with me, man. It was great seeing you again. Before we start wrapping up, let everybody know where they can find you. Obviously, I'll have all these in the bio for everybody in the description of this episode for y'all to check them out and everything. Definitely go check out Nick's podcast for sure. But Nick, lay it on them. Where do you want them to come find you if they want to talk to you? NIck McGowan: The only two places, my two websites. So the mindset and self mastery show dot com. That's the podcast. And you can see what I do with the thought leaders that I work with from Nick McGowan dot com. Those are the best two places. Pete "mental health champ": Awesome. Well, Nick, thank you again for coming to hang out with again, man. It's a pleasure seeing you as always. I was excited NIck McGowan: Thank you. Pete "mental health champ": when I saw you come on the schedule and everything else. And if you think I'm gonna miss a goddamn date with you, no, we're not, man. Okay. Guys, with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete for Sinxiety. You don't want to find me at Pete for Singsidia and X all way down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify all the way down Pandorato Radio. And for you in the Pennsylvania area, I am on the Pep Radio Network Thursdays, 5 p.m. Guys, check me out. You can download the Live 360 app if you want to listen to it there, guys. And as always, say it costs nothing. Absolutely be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do can save life. Or hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete vs. Anxiety sign off saying don't ask how your day is today. Say, hey, how's your mental health?