Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / The Best of Episodes 31-40

Transcript

The Best of Episodes 31-40 · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Hey friends, Matt here.
• 0:02
  Matt: Welcome to You Didn't Ask For This.
• 0:05
  Matt: The Best.
• 0:06
  Matt: Of You Didn't Ask For This, Volume 3, That's Right, You've already seen the title.
• 0:11
  Matt: You know what that means.
• 0:14
  Matt: Eric and I's schedules were fucked.
• 0:17
  Matt: So instead of the brand new episode 45, this week you get to relive the best bits of episodes 31 through 40.
• 0:28
  Matt: The best laughs only, only the top tier bits for you today.
• 0:33
  Matt: But don't you worry, we'll be back with episode 45 in two weeks' time as we begin the march towards the landmark.
• 0:41
  Matt: 50th episode of Ya Daft.
• 0:44
  Matt: Until then, you just sit back and enjoy reliving the magic.
• 1:12
  Eric: On average, a moment corresponded to, I'm sorry, ninety seconds.
• 1:21
  Eric: Ninety seconds.
• 1:23
  Eric: Ninety seconds?
• 1:25
  Eric: A minute and a half.
• 1:26
  Eric: A moment is a minute and a half?
• 1:30
  Matt: No, science is wrong.
• 1:32
  Eric: I'm sorry, can I just take a minute and a half of your time?
• 1:35
  Eric: Eric?
• 1:35
  Eric: To talk about how this is bullshit?
• 1:37
  Matt: Yeah, let me, let me, let me you want to know how I know it's bullshit?
• 1:41
  Matt: How do you know it's bullshit?
• 1:42
  Matt: In how I know instantly in my bones that it's bullshit.
• 1:46
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:46
  Matt: Let me just imagine for a second.
• 1:48
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:48
  Eric: You know, uh God forbid a moment.
• 1:50
  Matt: Yeah, just a second.
• 1:52
  Matt: So to say, you know, hey, I just got back from this date, you know, and I felt like it went okay, you know.
• 1:58
  Matt: And so, but then at the end of it, there was this weird moment where she looked at me, and then for 90 seconds, we stared at each other.
• 2:11
  Matt: There's no way that that is a moment.
• 2:15
  Matt: Jesus Christ, like, like hold on, I hold on.
• 2:17
  Matt: I just need a moment, and by that I mean 90 seconds.
• 2:23
  Eric: Matt, we're we're in the movie.
• 2:25
  Eric: We're diffusing a fucking bomb.
• 2:27
  Eric: We're McGrubering the bomb.
• 2:28
  Eric: We're diffusing the fucking bomb.
• 2:29
  Eric: I'm in the shit.
• 2:30
  Eric: I'm like, all right, Matt, Matt, Matt, hand me a spanner.
• 2:32
  Eric: And you're just like, one moment.
• 2:33
  Eric: Here you go.
• 2:34
  Eric: Yeah, one moment.
• 2:36
  Eric: And then we're dead.
• 2:37
  Eric: Because the bomb is gonna go off in like 15 seconds.
• 2:40
  Eric: I don't have like six of those to just fuck around with.
• 2:44
  Eric: Absolutely not.
• 2:45
  Eric: Well, now that we have defined technically I reject it.
• 2:52
  Matt: I reject it.
• 2:52
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:53
  Matt: Where's the source on that?
• 2:55
  Matt: Where did Wikipedia get that source?
• 2:57
  Matt: Let me let me check source ancient Rome.
• 3:01
  Matt: That's not even a real place.
• 3:03
  Matt: No.
• 3:04
  Matt: You know what?
• 3:05
  Eric: Caesar was stabbed for a reason.
• 3:07
  Eric: Fucking fucking six momentum.
• 3:10
  Eric: E2 secundus?
• 3:13
  Eric: Um, so yeah.
• 3:16
  Eric: Like what I'm trying to think of an even remotely appropriate.
• 3:20
  Eric: Wait, hold on.
• 3:21
  Eric: Is that the footnote?
• 3:22
  Matt: The footnote led you to ancient Rome?
• 3:24
  Matt: Hold on.
• 3:24
  Matt: Is that real?
• 3:25
  Eric: No, but like it said it said that it was all based off measurement on a sundial.
• 3:31
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:32
  Matt: Why are we trying to take exact measurements from a shadow?
• 3:36
  Eric: And can I ask Why are we taking advice from a civilization that collapsed?
• 3:42
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:43
  Matt: That's a great question, okay?
• 3:45
  Matt: Again, I have to say, you know what?
• 3:47
  Matt: Forget the Romans, it falls to us.
• 3:50
  Eric: It falls to us.
• 3:51
  Eric: It falls to us.
• 3:52
  Eric: Rome, thanks for the fonts, but stay dead.
• 3:57
  Matt: Hey, Rome, thanks for playing.
• 4:00
  Matt: Okay.
• 4:00
  Eric: Hey, Rome, thank you for Russell Crowe, but be gone.
• 4:04
  Eric: Hey, Rome, thanks for columns.
• 4:08
  Matt: Hey, Rome, thanks.
• 4:11
  Eric: You know, thanks, but no thanks.
• 4:14
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:15
  Matt: How about you, as you put it, you stay dead.
• 4:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 4:19
  Eric: Uh Rome, you can't see it because this is a podcast, but I'm doing that thing where I'm holding my hand out and then I'm turning my thumb down.
• 4:25
  Matt: Now, Eric, this might fascinate you to know this.
• 4:28
  Matt: Rome is actually still alive.
• 4:29
  Matt: Thriving city, as it turns out.
• 4:30
  Eric: Oh, good for them.
• 4:33
  Eric: Fucking great.
• 4:35
  Matt: But their empire is dead.
• 4:36
  Eric: Their empire is fucking dogs.
• 4:38
  Matt: Remember shit.
• 4:39
  Matt: What I know is you lost at risk, Rome.
• 4:42
  Matt: I know that.
• 4:43
  Matt: The downward dog.
• 4:44
  Matt: We're downward dog.
• 4:45
  Matt: Of course, to the uh popular yoga pose.
• 4:48
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:49
  Eric: Of which, of which I know for a fact we have both done.
• 4:52
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 4:53
  Eric: We have both done.
• 4:54
  Eric: Oh, we did the oh, we done down some dogs.
• 4:57
  Eric: Wait, okay.
• 4:58
  Eric: I we've done downward dog.
• 5:00
  Eric: The last one implied that I have gone down on dogs.
• 5:04
  Matt: Oh shit, I went much darker.
• 5:06
  unknown: Matt!
• 5:08
  Eric: All right.
• 5:10
  Matt: Oops.
• 5:11
  Matt: Uh I guess I'm just saying, you said uh, you know what?
• 5:16
  Eric: Matt's over here like, this is our comedy question asking podcast.
• 5:20
  Eric: You'll never guess which one of us is a fucking furry.
• 5:23
  Eric: I'll tell you who would make a shitty therapist.
• 5:26
  Eric: Who?
• 5:27
  Eric: Superman.
• 5:28
  Eric: Oh.
• 5:29
  Matt: I don't know if we've talked about this before on the podcast or if we've just talked about it.
• 5:33
  Matt: Can we can we say it?
• 5:34
  Matt: We've talked about this.
• 5:36
  Matt: Let I I hope I know what you mean when you say can we say it?
• 5:41
  Matt: Because I'm gonna say it right now once and for all.
• 5:44
  Eric: Fuck Superman.
• 5:45
  Eric: Fuck Superman.
• 5:46
  Eric: No, don't fuck Superman.
• 5:48
  Eric: Fuck that guy.
• 5:50
  Eric: Fucking hate Superman.
• 5:52
  Eric: How in the world?
• 5:53
  Eric: I hate Superman.
• 5:54
  Eric: Yeah.
• 5:54
  Eric: How in the world is he gonna be a therapist to fucking anybody?
• 5:57
  Eric: How like how is how is he Yeah, yeah, sure, Clark.
• 6:01
  Eric: Sure, Clark, with your fucking impenetrable bones and your chiseled jaw that could kill me, like, and your perfect everything.
• 6:10
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, Clark.
• 6:11
  Eric: Tell me, tell relate to me on a person-to-person level, Clark.
• 6:16
  Matt: Well, wait a minute.
• 6:17
  Matt: I I have vulnerabilities too.
• 6:19
  Matt: I'm deeply allergic to a rare mineral that has fallen from the sky.
• 6:25
  Matt: From my fucking home planet.
• 6:28
  Matt: Man, fuck you.
• 6:29
  Matt: Man, Clark, go fuck yourself.
• 6:31
  Matt: And you think you're fooling anyone with those glasses and that little twirl?
• 6:35
  Matt: Get your shit together.
• 6:37
  Matt: God damn.
• 6:38
  Eric: It's like you're like Jeff Bezos trying to tell me how to budget.
• 6:42
  Eric: Like, get the fuck out of my face.
• 6:44
  Matt: Why'd you even go into the goddamn phone booth?
• 6:47
  Matt: Someone needs to use the phone, Clark.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_07: Fuck!
• 6:51
  Matt: But yeah, I hate him as a superhero because he's he a simple fact.
• 6:56
  Matt: He's got too much.
• 6:57
  Matt: He's got too like it's too much.
• 6:59
  Matt: He can do anything and everything.
• 7:00
  Matt: He's got laser eyes.
• 7:02
  Eric: I hate it so much.
• 7:03
  Matt: I hate it so much.
• 7:05
  Matt: I wish he would just stay in that fortress of solitude.
• 7:09
  Matt: I don't want to talk to him about my issues, that's for sure.
• 7:14
  Eric: On the other hand, and I see this as someone who fucking loves the Cape Crusader.
• 7:20
  Eric: I feel like Batman would also be a pretty shitty therapist.
• 7:24
  Matt: I also don't want to talk to Batman about my issues, because for one thing, I I think I'd just be intimidated.
• 7:30
  Eric: I'd just be intimidated.
• 7:32
  Eric: Also, his his solution would be to just stomp it all way down inside.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_10: Put it in a box.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_10: Crush the box.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_10: Visualize the box.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_10: Are you visualizing?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_10: It should be gone.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_10: Crush it, sir.
• 7:47
  Eric: Hide it.
• 7:48
  Eric: Mr.
• 7:48
  Eric: Mr.
• 7:49
  Eric: Mr.
• 7:50
  Eric: Man, I can't Dr.
• 7:53
  Matt: Dr.
• 7:53
  Matt: Wayne.
• 7:53
  Matt: Are you Doctor Wayne?
• 7:55
  Matt: Are you feeling alright?
• 7:56
  Matt: I am the knight.
• 7:58
  Matt: Okay.
• 8:00
  Matt: No, he'd be right.
• 8:02
  Matt: He'd be bad.
• 8:03
  Matt: I feel like the Joker could be a real fun thing.
• 8:06
  Eric: I feel like the Joker would almost be too good at it.
• 8:09
  Eric: He'd be real good at it.
• 8:10
  Eric: He'd be because like his entire thing is knowing what upsets people.
• 8:15
  Eric: The problem is like he would be able to diagnose what's fucked up about you, like what's hurting you, but then he would immediately try to use it against you.
• 8:23
  Matt: He'd exploit it, absolutely.
• 8:24
  Matt: I mean, he's a villain's gonna villain.
• 8:27
  Matt: Villain's gonna villain.
• 8:28
  Matt: I think that the for the similar reasons, I think the riddler.
• 8:33
  Matt: The Riddler would never give you a straight answer.
• 8:37
  Matt: Exactly.
• 8:38
  Matt: I think Mr.
• 8:39
  Matt: Edward Nigma would love, would love being a therapist.
• 8:45
  Matt: But on the other hand, all of his all of his questions to you are just gonna be fucking puzzles.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_07: There's gonna be fucking puzzles, and it's like at the end of it, he's like, on at the beginning of the day, I walk on three legs.
• 8:59
  Eric: I'm like, yeah, but do I have like, are you gonna give me Adderall?
• 9:03
  Matt: Or Eddie, I'm here because of puzzles.
• 9:06
  Eric: I don't want anymore.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_07: I don't need any more.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: Walk gets winter as it dries.
• 9:13
  Eric: I'm like, oh fucking Christ.
• 9:16
  Eric: My copay, I guess.
• 9:17
  Eric: I don't know.
• 9:18
  Eric: Toby McGuire looks like he's 30 in the first Spider-Man.
• 9:24
  Eric: He looks like an old, old, old man.
• 9:28
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 9:29
  Matt: Yes.
• 9:30
  Matt: Absolutely that's true.
• 9:31
  Matt: Um, also, I you know, especially from that era on from like two when whatever that came out, like 2002 on backwards, the the the actors playing teenagers just get more and more ridiculous.
• 9:46
  Matt: Like, when was the last time you took a hard look at the Power Rangers?
• 9:49
  Eric: Oh they was they are like Tommy over here with five o'clock shadow.
• 9:53
  Matt: Billy's like 45.
• 9:55
  Matt: Got gross feet in math class.
• 10:00
  Matt: I mean, am I crazy here?
• 10:01
  Eric: No, you're not crazy.
• 10:03
  Eric: You've just got a you've just got a bunch of listeners nodding and going, yep, theater kid.
• 10:10
  Matt: No, you know what?
• 10:11
  Matt: You know, it's not a theater kid.
• 10:13
  Matt: It's not just a theater kid, because you know what?
• 10:14
  Matt: There's gonna be comedy people out there that's like, fuck you, I'm not in theater.
• 10:18
  Matt: I'm in comedy and I write sketches.
• 10:21
  Matt: You're right.
• 10:22
  Matt: They have a craft too, Eric, is what I'm trying to say.
• 10:25
  Matt: They have an art as well.
• 10:27
  Matt: They do.
• 10:27
  Matt: And it is diminishing to for I think it's diminishing to use the term that I use.
• 10:34
  Matt: Mentimeaning.
• 10:36
  Matt: Eric.
• 10:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_10: Don't don't push me.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_07: Sorry, I'm sorry.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_07: Red in the face.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_07: You are Jesus.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_07: I am red in the face with righteous rage.
• 10:48
  Matt: But perhaps I'm out of line, you know?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_07: Who can say?
• 10:54
  Eric: I dare not speak for fear of retribution.
• 10:58
  Eric: But no, I agree with you.
• 10:59
  Matt: I don't, I don't, I don't fear retribution because I think this is a fact.
• 11:03
  Matt: And we read it on Wikipedia that a skit is referred to a singular joke, or, or I think it's fair to say that parts of a sketch are skits.
• 11:15
  Eric: Yes, skits can comprise a sketch.
• 11:19
  Matt: But they they they are not the same as a full-fledged written, uh directed, conceived concept piece that is uh a comedy sketch.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: A comedy sketch.
• 11:35
  Matt: A comedy sketch.
• 11:37
  Eric: Sketch is also like sexier.
• 11:40
  Eric: Like when you just say it a sketch.
• 11:43
  Matt: Yeah.
• 11:44
  Eric: You know, you know, sketch me like one of your French girls.
• 11:46
  Matt: I was just gonna make a Titanic joke.
• 11:49
  Matt: I was just gonna say, I was just gonna say, Jack didn't do a skit.
• 11:54
  Matt: Oh yeah, skit me like one of your French girls.
• 11:57
  Matt: No, no, no one, no one wants, no one wants a nude skit done.
• 12:04
  Eric: Oh, now let's play this game.
• 12:05
  Eric: All the inappropriate context for the word skit.
• 12:08
  Eric: Um so uh uh based on a description, we've made this skit of the murder.
• 12:14
  Eric: I was I was just gonna do this based on your description.
• 12:18
  Eric: Here's a here's a skit.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_06: Here's a skit.
• 12:21
  Eric: Now we know this might be might be upsetting, but we need you to is the skit accurate?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_07: Is this the man who killed your father?
• 12:29
  Eric: Nobody played with the it's a skit when they were a kid.
• 12:35
  Eric: You mean the the etch a skit?
• 12:38
  Eric: No, it's an etch a skit.
• 12:39
  Eric: It's it's a skit.
• 12:40
  Eric: It's a skit.
• 12:42
  Eric: It was just a it was just like a piece of fiberglass and a ch piece of chalk.
• 12:48
  Matt: And you know, Lindsay's just gonna have to deal with yet another Amazon package I bought on a whim arriving.
• 12:55
  Matt: I just bought Guess Who, you know, the children's game.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: You bought Guess Who?
• 13:00
  Matt: I bought Guess Who because I've been seeing this trend on TikTok of people playing uh subjective guess who.
• 13:07
  Matt: Love it.
• 13:07
  Matt: And I want to I wanna play it.
• 13:09
  Eric: Like I also want to come over and thrash you at Guess Who.
• 13:12
  Matt: I want we should play Subjective Guess Who.
• 13:15
  Eric: We should play Subjective Guess Who.
• 13:16
  Eric: You know what?
• 13:16
  Matt: Have you seen this on TikTok?
• 13:18
  Matt: Like people saying like I've heard of the concept, but I have not played it.
• 13:21
  Matt: All right, picture picture.
• 13:22
  Matt: Well, here, I'll give you a practice round.
• 13:24
  Matt: Picture yourself playing Guess Who or playing Guess Who right now, okay?
• 13:27
  Matt: And and you know, normally the questions are like, is your person in green?
• 13:31
  Matt: Does your person have a hat on or whatever?
• 13:33
  Matt: Okay.
• 13:34
  Matt: This would be questions like Eric?
• 13:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 13:38
  Matt: Uh was your person in DC on January 6th, 2021?
• 13:42
  Eric: Oh, if I can fucking want.
• 13:44
  Eric: Uh how?
• 13:50
  Eric: Oh man.
• 13:51
  Eric: Uh, would you describe your person as broke or woke?
• 13:55
  Eric: It's a really good one.
• 13:57
  Eric: I'm gonna use that.
• 13:59
  Eric: Please do.
• 13:59
  Matt: Is your person the kind of person that makes up a name at Starbucks?
• 14:04
  Matt: Ooh.
• 14:05
  Eric: How many MLMs has your person fallen for?
• 14:10
  Eric: Rough number.
• 14:11
  Matt: In reference to the song by DJ Snake and Lil John, turned down for what?
• 14:18
  Matt: In what situation am I justified in turning down?
• 14:24
  Matt: Or I think, Aaron, if I may uh simplify, uh obfuscate your question just a little bit.
• 14:29
  Matt: I think what you're really asking is, what are we turning down for?
• 14:34
  Matt: Or even simpler, turn down for what?
• 14:38
  Matt: What?
• 14:39
  Eric: Did you yeah, yeah, you gotta put the italics on it.
• 14:41
  Matt: Turned down for what?
• 14:44
  Eric: Also, and Matt, I think this is really interesting.
• 14:46
  Matt: I I pulled up the lyrics.
• 14:48
  Matt: Oh, yeah, I I also have those open as a reference.
• 14:52
  Matt: Yes, because perhaps we can mine them.
• 14:54
  Matt: Eric, maybe we can dive into these words from from DJ Snake and Lil John to find their meeting.
• 15:01
  Matt: Eric, please, yeah, please, if you would.
• 15:03
  Eric: Okay, well, I'll give I'll give you I I don't want to take up too much time, but I'll just give you like the first, the first.
• 15:10
  Eric: Uh fire up that loud another round of shots.
• 15:15
  Eric: Yes.
• 15:16
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:18
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:20
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:21
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:22
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:24
  Eric: For what?
• 15:25
  Eric: Turn down for what?
• 15:26
  Eric: For what?
• 15:27
  Matt: Now, Eric, if I I I I don't want you to get exhausted.
• 15:30
  Matt: So can I take the next one?
• 15:31
  Matt: Take the next one.
• 15:31
  Matt: Take the next one.
• 15:32
  Matt: Yeah it's a bit of a callback, too.
• 15:33
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 15:34
  Matt: Fire up that loud.
• 15:36
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 15:37
  Matt: I see the callback.
• 15:38
  Matt: That's good.
• 15:38
  Matt: Another round of shots.
• 15:40
  Matt: Yep.
• 15:41
  Matt: Turn down for what?
• 15:43
  Matt: Okay.
• 15:43
  Matt: Turn down for what?
• 15:45
  Matt: Turn down for what?
• 15:46
  Matt: Turn down for what?
• 15:47
  Matt: Turn down for what?
• 15:49
  Eric: And then like it it like it sets it up.
• 15:53
  Eric: Like it sets up this kind of subversion of expectations.
• 15:58
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 15:58
  Eric: Yes.
• 15:58
  Eric: Like because my expectation is that it's any point that we're gonna get like a different, like a new A new set of words.
• 16:07
  Eric: A new set of words.
• 16:09
  Eric: But then it just hits you with fire up that loud, another round of shots.
• 16:15
  Eric: Fire up that loud, another round of shots, fire up that loud, another round of shots, fire up that loud, another round of shots.
• 16:25
  Matt: And then to bring us home, to really hammer the point home, six times, they ask, turn down for what?
• 16:36
  Matt: Wow.
• 16:37
  Eric: I mean I mean, like, there's so much to fucking unpack there.
• 16:41
  Matt: First of all, I I actually had to check that that was by DJ Snake and Lil John and not a Shakespearean sonnet.
• 16:48
  unknown: Yes.
• 16:51
  Matt: So okay, so what we've learned, I think, is that the lyrics are useless to us in decoding what they what what one would turn down for.
• 17:01
  Eric: Well, we gotta look down what they they can help us.
• 17:05
  Eric: There's a little guidance we got here.
• 17:06
  Eric: It's two sentences.
• 17:07
  Eric: Or sorry, that's generous.
• 17:09
  Eric: It's two lines, one sentence.
• 17:11
  Eric: So fire up that loud.
• 17:13
  Eric: It's one stanza.
• 17:14
  Eric: Another round of shots.
• 17:15
  Eric: So fire up that loud, mean you know, turn up, turn up the music.
• 17:18
  Eric: Another round of shots.
• 17:20
  Eric: Please give us more alcoholic beverages.
• 17:22
  Eric: And then turn over what I'm getting the feeling this is in response to someone saying, Hey, you need could you like you need to turn that that down.
• 17:32
  Matt: And then they are saying, turn turn it down for what?
• 17:35
  Matt: For what?
• 17:36
  Matt: For what purpose?
• 17:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:37
  Matt: Eric, I don't, I don't, I don't want to be too judgmental, all right?
• 17:41
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:43
  Matt: But maybe you're looking at this a little too surface level.
• 17:45
  Matt: Perhaps your analysis is, dare I say, pedestrian.
• 17:49
  Matt: What okay.
• 17:50
  Matt: Perhaps we need to take it a little deeper.
• 17:53
  Matt: All right, fellow white man, explain it to me.
• 17:56
  Matt: I shall.
• 17:57
  Matt: So another round of shots, of course, could mean on a surface level, you know, another round of fireball in the shot glasses.
• 18:10
  Matt: Of course it could mean that.
• 18:11
  Matt: But maybe what they're really intending is another round of shots at life.
• 18:18
  Matt: Another round of attempts to strive forward in this world.
• 18:22
  Eric: God, for like half a second, I thought you were gonna suggest uh another round of shots.
• 18:28
  Eric: Shots here, meaning the song shots.
• 18:34
  Eric: Play shots again.
• 18:37
  Eric: Oh my god, how fucking meta would that be though?
• 18:40
  Eric: Fucking Lil Way, just going like, yeah, no, a song another round of shots.
• 18:44
  Matt: A song requesting another song.
• 18:49
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 18:50
  Matt: No, I'm saying they're saying to fire yourself up loud and strive to to the next station.
• 19:00
  Matt: You know what I'm saying?
• 19:01
  Matt: Shots meaning pure ambition error.
• 19:04
  Eric: Oh, so so so to borrow to borrow a lyric from a from a another a song of its contemporaries, yes, when it's saying fire up that loud, another round of shots, what they're saying is tonight we are young.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: So let's set the world on fire.
• 19:27
  Matt: Are you looking up the lyrics too?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Turn down for what?
• 19:32
  Matt: I can see your eyes moving.
• 19:36
  Matt: Uh no, okay.
• 19:38
  Eric: So, so or maybe maybe Eric, you're right.
• 19:41
  Matt: Maybe I'm being too intellectual about it.
• 19:42
  Matt: Maybe I'm going too deep.
• 19:44
  Eric: No, no, I I like this thread.
• 19:46
  Eric: Um, because then turn down for what becomes like, no, we will not lower our bar, we will not set our sights lower, we will not put the we'll not give up this fire within us.
• 19:57
  Eric: They're like, you're gonna have to give me a reason to stop dreaming.
• 20:01
  Eric: And I think that's fucking beautiful, little John.
• 20:03
  Matt: You have to give me a reason to stop dreaming, Eric.
• 20:08
  Matt: You because why yeah, that I I'm really getting sorry, I my heart is getting so warm right now, yeah, that I was distracted by this inner peace I'm receiving by little john asking me, why would you settle?
• 20:27
  Matt: Why the fuck would you settle?
• 20:28
  Matt: Why would you give up?
• 20:30
  Matt: Why would you ever when he when he says to us, when he asks us, when little john asks us, not once, not twice, but 16 times, turned down for what?
• 20:48
  Matt: What he I think what they're trying to hammer home is like, why would you give up now?
• 20:54
  Matt: Why?
• 20:56
  Matt: Why?
• 20:57
  Matt: You've come this far.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_07: We draw the line here.
• 21:00
  Matt: This so apparently the feet are the weakest points in the elephants.
• 21:06
  Matt: Really?
• 21:06
  Matt: They are their quote Achilles heel.
• 21:09
  Eric: Damn, they got four of them.
• 21:11
  Matt: So if we go, Eric, with your hiding beneath the bloody feathers routine, make him think that it's over.
• 21:18
  Matt: He cuts him at the Achilles heel.
• 21:20
  Matt: Damn.
• 21:22
  Matt: Damn.
• 21:23
  Matt: Or stabs him in the feet.
• 21:24
  Matt: Then, then he rides them.
• 21:26
  Matt: He forces him to to to get the the whatever the knife.
• 21:30
  Matt: Let's let's just give him a knife.
• 21:32
  Matt: The just gets a knife.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_10: We don't know where he we don't know where this chicken comes up from the one.
• 21:38
  Eric: He he could fashion one from a chicken bone.
• 21:40
  Eric: He straight out of ivory that he snapped off.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_10: Oh, yeah.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_10: He does.
• 21:46
  Eric: That's it.
• 21:46
  Eric: That's what he uses.
• 21:47
  Eric: Oh, now we've gotten dark.
• 21:49
  Eric: We here at You Didn't Ask for This would like to issue a live apology.
• 21:56
  Eric: We believe the elephant is a beautiful and noble creature.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_05: Unless you are a giant human-like chicken, we don't condone the removal or poaching of elephant ivory tusks in any way.
• 22:09
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 22:10
  Matt: But if you are a giant family guy esque chicken, then by in a battle to the death.
• 22:16
  Eric: By all means, at that point you've earned it.
• 22:18
  Eric: Then by all means, do what you need to do.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_07: Claim your prize.
• 22:22
  Matt: I thought you were going into Foghorn Lakehorn for a second.
• 22:26
  Matt: By all means.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_07: By all means.
• 22:30
  Eric: Get up on there and take that tusk and do what you got to do.
• 22:33
  Eric: Matt.
• 22:34
  Eric: And most certainly not for the last time in our journey, this podcast together.
• 22:39
  Matt: Okay.
• 22:39
  Eric: Are you willing to open your mind with me?
• 22:42
  Matt: Am I not always, Aaron?
• 22:43
  Matt: Okay.
• 22:44
  Matt: I am nothing but open-minded.
• 22:47
  Eric: Let's let's let's let's go down the rabbit hole a little bit.
• 22:49
  Eric: So obviously windows.
• 22:51
  Eric: Car windows, house windows, school windows.
• 22:54
  Eric: All kinds of windows.
• 22:56
  Matt: Windows within the home.
• 22:58
  Matt: Browser windows.
• 23:00
  Matt: No, come on.
• 23:01
  Eric: They are they are rectangular shape.
• 23:03
  Eric: They are they information and light comes through them.
• 23:07
  Eric: Eric.
• 23:08
  Eric: It does.
• 23:10
  Eric: Are you counting cheese wheels for wheels?
• 23:14
  Eric: That's that's see now you see.
• 23:17
  Matt: Okay.
• 23:18
  Eric: And though and they who were dancing, Matt, were thought mad by those who could not hear the music.
• 23:23
  Matt: But here's the difference though.
• 23:25
  Matt: A a uh a cheese wheel, if we're counting it as a wheel, is a physical thing.
• 23:32
  Matt: A window on your computer screen is not I could I could maybe Frisbee a wheel if you I could maybe give you the screen if you want.
• 23:44
  Matt: Well, let me but individual windows.
• 23:46
  Eric: Oh, if you give me the screen, you gotta give me the window.
• 23:49
  Eric: So then I'm not giving you the screen.
• 23:51
  Eric: Then there's other possibilities.
• 23:53
  Eric: It's not all, it's not it's not just about, you know, fucking hedge my bets for windows.
• 23:57
  Eric: I see wheels.
• 23:58
  Eric: What about this what about a little iPhone scroll like loading wheel?
• 24:04
  Eric: Is that a wheel?
• 24:06
  Matt: I don't think that's a wheel.
• 24:07
  Matt: Don't think that's a wheel.
• 24:09
  Matt: That's a graphic, Eric.
• 24:10
  Matt: Which is also, by the way, what the windows are.
• 24:14
  Matt: And we're only calling them windows because that's what Bill Gates called them.
• 24:19
  Eric: Well, why did Bill Gates call them Windows?
• 24:22
  Eric: Hold on.
• 24:23
  Eric: Now I'm gonna Google.
• 24:25
  Eric: Why did I I forgot the B, so I just started writing ill Gates, and I think that'd be a bitch in DJ name.
• 24:32
  Eric: Uh why did Bill Gates call them Windows?
• 24:38
  Eric: Oh, well, Bill Gates wanted to call Windows interface managers.
• 24:43
  Matt: Okay, so someone in marketing came up with the better name.
• 24:46
  Matt: Because of course.
• 24:47
  Eric: The Windows name prevailed because it best describes, but note the words best describes um the boxes or computing windows that were fundamental to the new operating system.
• 24:59
  Matt: Eric, I see what you're trying to do here, okay?
• 25:02
  Matt: What?
• 25:02
  Matt: You're trying to say if we agree.
• 25:05
  Matt: I'm trying to expand the conversation.
• 25:07
  Matt: Sure.
• 25:08
  Matt: What you're trying to say, Eric, is if you count a computer window, an artificial thing that only exists because of code, ones and zeros, if you count that as a zero as a window, you can make infinite browser windows and therefore infinite windows.
• 25:21
  Matt: That's what you're trying to say, right?
• 25:23
  Eric: I would look up the the average number of browser windows open at any given time.
• 25:27
  Matt: I don't think we need to do that.
• 25:30
  Matt: Do you I I'm I I have to say, Eric, I have to break the bit.
• 25:34
  Matt: Do you really want to count a computer window as a window?
• 25:36
  Matt: Really?
• 25:37
  Eric: I feel like, like for real, I feel like that's the only way Windows gets a chance.
• 25:41
  Matt: Yeah, I also agree with you that that's the only way Windows gets a chance, but that I think you're giving it too big of a handicap.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, because like wheels, it's just Because wheels are everywhere, right?
• 25:50
  Matt: Each drawer has like four wheels in your house.
• 25:53
  Matt: You know, the a car has like a bazillion wheels.
• 25:56
  Matt: Bazillion wheels.
• 25:58
  Matt: Because a gear, that is a wheel.
• 26:00
  Eric: That's a wheel.
• 26:00
  Eric: That's like I'm trying to give the same amount of flexibility that we're just assuming with wheels to Windows.
• 26:08
  Eric: Okay, sure.
• 26:09
  Eric: Windows is in the ring fucking hand tied behind their back, like both hands tied behind their back, and wheels is out here like, oh, bop, bop, bop.
• 26:18
  Eric: Look at all the different ways I can be defined, dog.
• 26:20
  Eric: Bam.
• 26:21
  Eric: And Windows is out here like, I can be so much more, but you're in the corner, like, no, I'm the referee, and you have to keep your hands behind your back because I want you to lose.
• 26:29
  Eric: Like, that's what I'm seeing happening.
• 26:32
  Matt: Eric, I just don't think I can get behind calling the the zoom window that I'm looking at right now.
• 26:41
  Matt: You had to use the word window to tell me what it was.
• 26:43
  Matt: I'm not that's because that's the name given to it.
• 26:48
  Matt: Because it's a window.
• 26:49
  Matt: Okay, but we also call the spinning wheel of death a spinning wheel of death, but that's not really a wheel.
• 26:54
  Matt: It's an image.
• 26:55
  Matt: It's an image of a wheel.
• 26:57
  Matt: It is but the shadows on the wall.
• 27:01
  Matt: Once again, we find ourselves in Plato's cave.
• 27:04
  Eric: Fucking god damn, we're always here.
• 27:06
  Matt: We can always come in.
• 27:08
  Matt: Do we have a timeshare?
• 27:10
  Matt: You know, but you do you see what I'm saying here?
• 27:13
  Matt: Do you really want to equate the bringer of light into your home, the the the glass door on your patio?
• 27:22
  Matt: You really want to equate that with what you use to look at Reddit?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 27:32
  Matt: Alright.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, take us down the path, Eric.
• 27:36
  Matt: Paint me the picture, baby.
• 27:38
  Eric: Okay.
• 27:38
  Eric: Okay, so you you're willing to seed this to me.
• 27:41
  Eric: I'm willing to give you a chance.
• 27:44
  Eric: Well, I I just like just just so I can go into a full confidence.
• 27:47
  Eric: Can you just like can you just be like I Matt seed that like you know, what like here how like I'll even soften it for you?
• 27:54
  Eric: I'll even soften it for you.
• 27:56
  Eric: Just just before I like I I I slam this conclusion down, could just be like, I seed that that internet windows could be windows.
• 28:06
  Eric: But you give me that.
• 28:08
  Eric: But that's not what I'm saying, Eric.
• 28:09
  Matt: But but like you're what I'm saying is I'm willing to communicate a chance to make the argument to me that they are windows.
• 28:17
  Eric: Well, no, that's that's that's like that's when you when I say the word could, that's me like voicing your I'm open to be proven like like could be, you're not just completely shutting it down.
• 28:28
  Eric: Fine, fine, okay.
• 28:29
  Matt: Fine, Eric.
• 28:29
  Matt: Yes.
• 28:30
  Matt: Okay, I am willing to listen to you to see if you can show me that the the boxes on the screen could be considered legitimate, authentic windows.
• 28:46
  Eric: So the much shorter and efficient way to say that would be that you see that Windows could be Windows.
• 28:52
  Eric: Maybe.
• 28:53
  Matt: I'm giving you a maybe, I could maybe give me a maybe on a could?
• 28:59
  Matt: What do you want from me?
• 29:00
  Matt: What do you want from me?
• 29:01
  Matt: Just say your bit.
• 29:02
  Matt: You've got a bit.
• 29:03
  Matt: No, no, no, no.
• 29:05
  Eric: Just just I just want to hear, like, internet windows could be windows.
• 29:08
  Matt: Internet windows could potentially be windows if you bring the goods.
• 29:13
  Matt: So you got them or not.
• 29:15
  Eric: Dope.
• 29:15
  Eric: Definitely more wheels.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_06: Are you are you kidding me?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_06: Are you kidding me?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_06: Are you kidding me right now?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_06: Is this real life?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_06: Hold on.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_06: Hold on.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_06: I can't I can't possibly believe what I've just been put through.
• 29:40
  Matt: I have to clutch my pearls.
• 29:42
  Matt: Oh.
• 29:44
  Matt: Fuck.
• 29:44
  Matt: What?
• 29:45
  Matt: Wait a minute.
• 29:46
  Matt: You're not even gonna make an argument here?
• 29:48
  Matt: You don't even believe the thing you had me all fired up about?
• 29:52
  Matt: Have you just been leading?
• 29:53
  Eric: I just needed you to take that one step to open your mind.
• 29:56
  Eric: You'll think.
• 29:57
  Eric: This is why we don't compromise, Matt.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_10: This is why.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_10: This is why we hold our opinions close to the chest.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_10: And we never waver.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_10: We never waver because you let someone in, and this is what they do to you.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_04: They do it every time.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_04: 32 years.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_04: You haven't learned this lesson yet.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, definitely.
• 30:16
  Matt: That was a great time.
• 30:18
  Matt: That was cool.
• 30:18
  Matt: I was blessed.
• 30:19
  Matt: I can feel my blood pressure boiling.
• 30:24
  Matt: Once upon a time, I went to a pharmacy.
• 30:26
  Matt: Uh, this was many years ago, to get a flu shot.
• 30:29
  Matt: And I was like, oh, I um I I I I've already do I need I I asked the question, because you know, hold on.
• 30:37
  Matt: That was a whole lot of word vomit.
• 30:39
  unknown: Okay.
• 30:40
  Matt: So I asked the farm, I go to this pharmacy to get a flu shot, right?
• 30:48
  Matt: There I am, middle of the fucking pharmacy.
• 30:51
  Matt: I'm gonna get this shit together.
• 30:52
  Matt: Picture it.
• 30:53
  Matt: I'm at a pharmacy.
• 30:54
  Eric: Pharmacy.
• 30:54
  Eric: Bam!
• 30:55
  Matt: I can smell it.
• 30:57
  Matt: Alright.
• 30:58
  Matt: So so, you know, drugs.
• 31:00
  Matt: So, okay.
• 31:01
  Matt: We're doing drugs at a pharmacy, right?
• 31:03
  Eric: I done So there we were, back in the CBS.
• 31:08
  Eric: Fucking free basin Werthers originals.
• 31:12
  Eric: What's the CBS?
• 31:13
  Matt: I hear you on the douchebags being like, kiss me, I'm Irish.
• 31:17
  Matt: Of course.
• 31:18
  Matt: But like, what is the problem with the parades?
• 31:20
  Matt: What is the problem with wearing green and throwing some shamrocks around?
• 31:23
  Eric: Well, the problem with wearing green, I was pinched mercilessly as a child.
• 31:27
  Eric: What?
• 31:28
  Eric: I was pinched mercilessly as a child.
• 31:31
  Eric: Wearing green?
• 31:32
  Eric: On the day of St.
• 31:33
  Eric: Patrick for not wearing green, Matthew.
• 31:35
  Eric: Oh, well then what the fuck is wrong with you?
• 31:38
  Eric: I'd forget.
• 31:39
  Matt: Didn't your mother force you to wear green?
• 31:42
  Matt: Didn't she reserve a green shirt?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: When she could remember when she was sober.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they mercilessly pinched me, Matthew.
• 31:57
  Matt: When the glorious latter day was between her eyes.
• 32:00
  Matt: I became a little bit of quint from uh from Jars there.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'd get home from I'd get home from my school day in the fourth grade, and me old man would say, Oh, look at you all high and mighty, high educated lad.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wait till you get to real work, why don't you?
• 32:15
  Eric: Join your part under the ducks.
• 32:18
  Eric: Owner the ducks.
• 32:19
  Eric: So no, it's just like it's so hard to pin it.
• 32:23
  Eric: Like, it's that combo, I'm like, I have zero issue with people like going, yo, let's all get shit faced.
• 32:29
  Eric: It's when they're like, let's get shit-faced, and everything we're doing today, this is Irish.
• 32:36
  Eric: Okay, all right, but hold.
• 32:38
  Matt: But hold on, hold the fucking phone here for a second.
• 32:40
  Matt: Okay.
• 32:41
  Matt: Is there any is there a huge difference?
• 32:43
  Matt: And I I I mean this sincerely, with with not the uh not the parades, not the you know, the actual celebrations.
• 32:50
  Matt: Let's let's put those aside.
• 32:51
  Matt: Yeah.
• 32:52
  Matt: But like the level of like, we're gonna go out and party is like the preliminary.
• 32:57
  Eric: Oh, the difference between like that in the US.
• 32:59
  Matt: Yeah, no, no, no, no.
• 33:00
  Matt: I'm saying I think first of all, I do think there are authentic celebrations of what St.
• 33:06
  Matt: Patrick's Day is meant to be in the United States.
• 33:08
  Eric: Agreed.
• 33:09
  Eric: Agreed.
• 33:10
  Matt: I think by and large, when it's St.
• 33:12
  Matt: Patrick's Day, what you see on the news, what you go out and do is like, oh, it's St.
• 33:16
  Matt: Patrick's Day, we're gonna hit the bars.
• 33:18
  Matt: Oh, it's St.
• 33:19
  Matt: Patrick's Day.
• 33:19
  Matt: Why don't we have people over?
• 33:21
  Matt: We'll order food, whatever.
• 33:22
  Matt: Is this so different than the fucking Super Bowl?
• 33:27
  Matt: Do you give a shit about the Super Bowl?
• 33:29
  Matt: No.
• 33:30
  Matt: But do you go to the party?
• 33:31
  Matt: Sure.
• 33:32
  Matt: Are there people who give a shit about are there people who give a shit about the Super Bowl and actually watch the dumb game and not the commercials?
• 33:39
  Matt: Yeah, those people exist.
• 33:41
  Matt: But like, yeah, I think a lot of people are just like, oh fuck, it's the Super Bowl.
• 33:46
  Matt: Let's go watch it at B dubs, you know, like whatever.
• 33:50
  Matt: And what we have here is a holiday that's sure.
• 33:54
  Matt: It's lost the plot.
• 33:56
  Matt: We've lost, we've lost the plot of the holiday.
• 34:00
  Matt: We've gone a little bit pear-shaped, but we go out there, we put on some green, we go have a fucking green Guinness, and we get the shamrock shake from McD Mickey D's.
• 34:12
  Matt: While supplies last.
• 34:14
  Matt: While supplies last, and and we watch our weathermen make a fool of themselves on our local news, as is our right as Americans, given to us by George Washington himself.
• 34:29
  Matt: Matthew, that was a very impassioned speech.
• 34:31
  Matt: Thank you.
• 34:32
  Matt: I didn't even know I felt it.
• 34:34
  Matt: Because is ending a sentence in a text without punctuation passive aggressive?
• 34:40
  Matt: If I were to be so bold, if I were to write this question, my assumption is you meant writing a text with punctuation.
• 34:48
  Matt: Okay, we're of one mind on this.
• 34:50
  Matt: If I receive a text from my wife that ends in a period, you're fucked.
• 34:56
  Matt: I am in trouble.
• 34:58
  Eric: If I get a text from someone, if they're like, hey, are we gonna do something?
• 35:04
  Eric: And I like, I'm like, oop, nope, sorry, I forgot.
• 35:07
  Eric: I actually can't do it today.
• 35:08
  Eric: And the response is okay, period.
• 35:11
  Matt: Oh, and is I and I assume what came to mind in the horror show that I just pictured in this circumstance is it didn't say okay, period.
• 35:21
  Matt: It said okay, capitalized, period.
• 35:25
  Eric: Okay, capitalized, period.
• 35:27
  Matt: Or a capital O, capital K, period, is a death sentence.
• 35:31
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:32
  Eric: Or God help you, K.
• 35:35
  Eric: Ooh, K peri.
• 35:36
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 35:36
  Eric: K period.
• 35:37
  Eric: Did you see it?
• 35:38
  Eric: It just pierced it.
• 35:39
  Eric: I know.
• 35:39
  Matt: You had a physical, you like a physical reaction.
• 35:42
  Matt: I retracted from it.
• 35:43
  Matt: I retracted as if a Matt this here was a safe.
• 35:47
  Eric: This is a safe space.
• 35:48
  Matt: Do you do have you received a K period?
• 35:53
  Matt: I have received a K.
• 35:54
  Matt: Now a K a K without a period, that's mysterious.
• 35:58
  Eric: That's that's mysterious.
• 35:59
  Eric: That leaves a little could go either way.
• 36:01
  Eric: With a period, that is there is a finality to it that it just I almost as a rule, except for question marks or exclamation part points, I use I never use you never use anything?
• 36:16
  Eric: No, I never use periods.
• 36:17
  Matt: I never use periods.
• 36:19
  Matt: I like specifically don't use periods unless I'm writing ellipses.
• 36:23
  Eric: It is critical to me.
• 36:24
  Eric: I think it's because we both write.
• 36:26
  Eric: Uh I think it's because like we it's crucial to us that tone is conveyed and that we know everything is okay.
• 36:32
  Eric: Yeah, getting getting an okay period is like it's like getting a we need to talk.
• 36:39
  Matt: Yeah, that is what it feels like.
• 36:41
  Matt: And and if there are multiple sentences, I mean, I guess if I were writing a text that was multiple sentences, the middle sentence can have a period.
• 36:52
  Matt: Yes, yes, that's acceptable because you need to you need to know where the thought ends.
• 36:56
  Eric: If I have three sentences, first sentence exclamation, second sentence uh period, third sentence exclamation again.
• 37:02
  Matt: Sure.
• 37:02
  Matt: Yeah, but like, and so the question is is ending a sentence in a text without punctuation passive aggressive?
• 37:09
  Matt: Again, I I don't think ending a text without punctuation is ever passive aggressive.
• 37:14
  Matt: No.
• 37:15
  Matt: I think if you want to be passive aggressive, you need to do it with punctuation.
• 37:20
  Matt: Specifically a period.
• 37:21
  Eric: Specifically, never I never feel weird about a question or an ellipses.
• 37:26
  Eric: I well, see, that's what I said.
• 37:28
  Eric: I'll I'll use it.
• 37:29
  Eric: That one's a little more contextual.
• 37:30
  Matt: It's a contextual because I do I will end um I will end a text with ellipses to either convey like, oh, this is an awkward thing, you know.
• 37:42
  Matt: Well, I already told him that.
• 37:45
  Matt: You know, something like that.
• 37:46
  Matt: Or if I'm saying like I actively want a response from you, you know, say like uh like you send me ellipses often.
• 37:55
  Matt: I'm starting a thought and I'm giving the ellipses to you.
• 38:00
  Matt: I'm passing the baton to you to complete the thought.
• 38:03
  Matt: And your thoughts are and the and your thoughts are.
• 38:07
  Matt: I'm trying to see one last if if and when.
• 38:10
  Matt: Are you looking through our text?
• 38:11
  Matt: I'm looking through our text to see if a period has been deployed.
• 38:15
  Eric: Oh, 100% it has.
• 38:18
  Eric: I feel them in my soul.
• 38:20
  Matt: Well, here's one from a while ago, but it's the end of a really big thing, and then I immediately sent another text.
• 38:26
  Matt: So I feel like that I don't think I intended that as like a passive aggressive period.
• 38:31
  Matt: I don't see any.
• 38:32
  Eric: I guarantee it's one of like the half dozen times or more I've been like, I'm sorry, I forgot we were doing this today, I'd be rescheduled, something came up.
• 38:40
  Matt: Okay, the last one I saw is from you on a while ago.
• 38:44
  Matt: What's the date?
• 38:45
  Matt: On March 20th.
• 38:46
  Matt: No preference.
• 38:47
  Matt: I'm home from work by five, period.
• 38:51
  Matt: But this almost feels like a rare, you just put it down.
• 38:55
  Matt: I didn't get a passive aggression because I just responded to how about seven, then we moved out.
• 38:58
  Eric: Oh, did I?
• 38:59
  Eric: Oh, I used the period.
• 39:00
  Eric: You did.
• 39:00
  Eric: Oh, too, yeah.
• 39:01
  Eric: Oh, no, no, no, no, yeah.
• 39:03
  Matt: Interesting that you just assumed it was me.
• 39:05
  Matt: Fascinating.
• 39:06
  Eric: Yeah.
• 39:06
  Eric: Interesting.
• 39:07
  Eric: What are you trying to say?
• 39:08
  Eric: I'm trying to say we both majored in acting.
• 39:12
  Eric: You minored in passive aggression.
• 39:17
  Eric: Oh my God.
• 39:18
  Eric: You're much, you're much better at at you're so much better at it than I am.
• 39:23
  Matt: On the contrary, I went to graduate school for passive aggression.
• 39:28
  Eric: Scenario, like, because I know I know the chaise, you always have to have coffee after dinner.
• 39:32
  Eric: Of course.
• 39:34
  Eric: A very good, subtle one, because it's one they won't even realize until like they're like, oh, and they might even be impressed.
• 39:41
  Eric: Is dessert has been served, dessert has been eaten, coffee has been drank.
• 39:44
  Eric: You go around with the pot.
• 39:46
  Eric: Hey, anyone want uh one more cup of coffee before you all hit the road?
• 39:49
  Matt: Oh, Eric, you've made a misstep here.
• 39:50
  Matt: Uh I I I understand you come from uh a place that a family that doesn't have coffee as like a standard after dinner dessert accompaniment.
• 40:03
  Matt: Yeah.
• 40:03
  Matt: But because you did this, you did not grow up with Baba, my grandmother.
• 40:10
  Matt: If you offered Baba more coffee, she will take it.
• 40:16
  Eric: Every time.
• 40:16
  Matt: And then if you do it again at 10 p.m., she will take it.
• 40:21
  Matt: Fuck.
• 40:22
  Matt: So that is not, in fact, that is not a closer.
• 40:25
  Matt: That is, in fact, a reopener.
• 40:30
  Eric: Damn.
• 40:31
  Matt: All right, they can't all be winners.
• 40:33
  Matt: I mean, at least in this specific uh in this specific window that I come from, that wouldn't work.
• 40:40
  Matt: That would not work.
• 40:41
  Eric: I did not anticipate the Baba factor.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_06: No one ever does.
• 40:44
  Eric: No one ever does.
• 40:46
  Eric: Though I will say babas, ya's and gim gams and Grammys, they all have the same.
• 40:53
  Eric: I feel like they all have the same diplomatic immunity when it comes to getting guests to leave your house, in that if my grandma's over, she leaves whenever the fuck she wants.
• 41:01
  Matt: You're not the host anymore.
• 41:02
  Matt: You're the host.
• 41:03
  Matt: I'm not the host, but you're not in charge.
• 41:05
  Eric: No, yeah.
• 41:06
  Eric: I am, I am her next slide guy.
• 41:10
  Eric: The next slide.
• 41:12
  Eric: I'm the next slide guy.
• 41:13
  Matt: Yeah, no, the grandmother's the, you know, the yeah, like you said, the whatever you call them, the yaas, the abuelas, they're all they're all the same group of I'm in, I'm running this show here.
• 41:26
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:27
  Eric: They don't even have to like exude it.
• 41:29
  Eric: They're they're not they don't have to be controlled.
• 41:31
  Eric: They're just like, it's your grandma.
• 41:32
  Eric: It's your gim game.
• 41:33
  Eric: It's your gizmo.
• 41:34
  Eric: It's like you can't you've making some of these up, right?
• 41:37
  Eric: What's a gizmo?
• 41:38
  Eric: Isn't that a isn't that a gremlin?
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_06: I'm talking about I'm talking about gim games.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_06: I'm talking about Oh yeah, I'm talking about taters.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_07: I'm talking about gram grams.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_07: I'm talking, man, you know.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm talking about those bangers and mash.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_06: You know what I'm talking about.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_06: You know what I'm saying?
• 41:58
  Matt: Oh man.
• 41:59
  Matt: Um, okay, so so all that was is to establish that everything we've come up with so far will not work against you are powerless in in the face of a boy line.
• 42:12
  Matt: And that's you are just fucked then.
• 42:14
  Eric: Yeah, you're just fucked, and that's fine.
• 42:16
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:17
  Matt: So settle in, pour yourself another coffee, because we got another tale of the 1940s.
• 42:24
  Eric: Yes.
• 42:24
  Matt: On to on tech.
• 42:25
  Eric: She she had the the original Worthers.
• 42:28
  Eric: You can't beat that.
• 42:30
  Eric: She is the Worthers original.
• 42:32
  Eric: She she is the original Werthers.
• 42:36
  Matt: Okay.
• 42:37
  Matt: Did we have this question?
• 42:38
  Eric: Oh, we did.
• 42:39
  Eric: We I think we were, I think we were thorough about something.
• 42:43
  Matt: So, in short, or are you summing up?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, I think Eric is going for it here.
• 42:49
  Matt: Not not our attorney.
• 42:52
  Matt: I'll let our counsel speak.
• 42:53
  Matt: Yes, please.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 42:56
  Eric: My counsel has advised me to shut the fuck up on the advice of my advice of my counsel.
• 43:00
  Eric: Uh I I we turn it over to you.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Your Honor, I I would wish to advise the court regarding this contract.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, since one of the parties is the daughter of King Triton, though typically this would be what we would deem a sovereign citizen's land.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: I believe the contract should be null and void as to the child of the sovereign king of our sovereign lands.
• 43:29
  Eric: Hell yeah, Your Honor.
• 43:30
  Eric: Hell yeah.
• 43:31
  Eric: Defense rests.
• 43:32
  Eric: The defense, the defense.
• 43:34
  Eric: That's all Matt wants to do.
• 43:35
  Eric: Matt just wants to be the guy that like at you just deliver that calmly, but he'll be suddenly out of breath of the defense rest.
• 43:45
  Matt: Yeah, I just I just come in for the dramatics only.
• 43:48
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:49
  Eric: And then I slap a table.
• 43:51
  Matt: Yeah, for you you're the objection uh counsel.
• 43:56
  Matt: Yeah, you're only you only stand up to say objection.
• 44:00
  Eric: Like if Chris is over here doing like the hand across the neck, shut the fuck up.
• 44:05
  Matt: Shut up, shut up right now.
• 44:07
  Matt: And from time to time, I from the other side of the table go, Your Honor.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean, I have been that person in a courtroom before who's like, Your honor, are you serious?
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or like, your honor, like very loudly declare it, like, you know, this is inappropriate.
• 44:23
  Eric: Oh, hell yeah, Carissa.
• 44:25
  Eric: Hell yes.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: But also, Eric, I can also grant you the privilege of being the one who says nothing further, Your Honor.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, oh god, juicy!
• 44:37
  Eric: Yes, hold on, let me give it a try.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing further to add, Your Honor.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_06: Why?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_06: Why that accent?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Where did we go?
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Why why are you southern now?
• 44:53
  Eric: I am but a a humble southern sea witch.
• 45:00
  Eric: I said sea witch.
• 45:02
  Eric: I said sea witch.
• 45:04
  Eric: Nothing further, y'all.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, I moved to Maryland, so I wouldn't have to hear that every time I was in a courtroom.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: All right, come on.
• 45:12
  Matt: Oh man.
• 45:13
  Matt: Oh man.
• 45:14
  Matt: I think the wise words of Dr.
• 45:17
  Matt: Ian Malcolm once went, Your scientists were so preoccupied trying to figure out if they could.
• 45:25
  Matt: They didn't stop to ask if they should.
• 45:28
  Eric: And uh just to add on that, another uh uh line from from Dr.
• 45:33
  Eric: Ian Malcolm.
• 45:46
  Matt: Thank you, Eric.
• 45:48
  Eric: I feel like we're we both contributed equally to that point.
• 45:52
  Eric: Okay, thank yeah.
• 45:55
  Eric: Thank you so much.