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What If Productivity Is The Problem · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everybody, this is Mark.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the podcast called Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us today.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If this is your first time here, well, this podcast is about how we can fiercely encourage ourselves instead of get good at beating ourselves up.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think we're all kind of experts at uh talking negatively to ourselves.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this is kind of my uh project on noticing that in myself and in the people I get to connect with, and then just encouraging us to be good leaders from the inside out, to live better from the inside out, and in a sense, just encourage ourselves with a fierce determination and a lot of love and caring.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: So today I wanted to talk about something that um, well, it's it's a complex thing, and I tried not to make too many notes up here and kind of just speak from the heart today, but it started with a quote from one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the quote from Kurt Vonnegut.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Unquote.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that's from Kurt Vonnegut.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why did this resonate today?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um the passing of time, getting older, and even seeing it in myself, tending to put things off, having uh had a few coaching calls and connections this week, uh, and this kind of echoing through uh some of the themes of that.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it is towards the end of the summer season where I live.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So uh there's some vacations coming up, and that's good to hear.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh a lot of schedules, you know, varying um and jumping around.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a great thing to embrace and to celebrate and to appreciate those flowers in our garden this time of year.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's right around that harvest season.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So um savoring the harvest, savoring uh the fruits of the good work and the time we have with people.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of us, whether it is on our work or in our personal lives or maybe in our career, trying to push our, you know, entrepreneurial dreams ahead, or even just maybe in a habit that we want to build, we get really focused on the performance and the outcomes and where you want to be.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I had a great conversation with a leader this week, and we were talking about the younger generation that's in their 20s that's coming up into work and career and building their career.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And while I don't know every one of them, I do know a few of them, and I actually have a couple clients that I've worked with that are in the beginning of their career.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing I've noticed is just kind of this holding back.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: They want things to happen quickly, almost like an immediate gratification.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And gosh, you know, I'm familiar with that in my life.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I can rewind and look at all the things where I expected quick outcomes, where I almost defeated my progress because I stayed in that fixed mindset of why am I not there yet?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why doesn't it feel right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Where are the things that come with that uh job or that status or that relationship?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so craving.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to get kind of caught in a downward spiral of ruminating or uh just pausing, in a sense, too much and thinking about why it's not happening, happening.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I would label it like a fixed mindset, or even you could think about it being that victim mindset, or waiting for somebody to come save you, or just chewing your mental uh gum and staying in that same place, right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not moving, not making progress, even if it was something around a habit.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's three things I kind of outlined from this.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of putting off our living, instead of wishing for those flowers in the garden five years from now, how do we learn to enjoy where we're at?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do we learn to enjoy the flowers blooming in our garden today?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe how do we learn to enjoy and accept the cold, quiet winter when the flowers aren't blooming, when things are tough?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's three things that popped up for me and the teachings I've had over the years that I wanted to share with you.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the first is this instead of feeling unloved or unrecognized or you know, not tapping into our potential, we could do some of these things, take these mindsets on, take these ideas on to kind of refine our viewpoint on where we're at, to smell the flowers outside of our window today, instead of always wishing.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So the first is this when you find yourself reaching out and wanting those outcomes and you know, feeling like you're limited, try this.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Know that your son is already sinking.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you are in your 20s, even if you are a younger person in your career, I just want to say this it isn't a dress rehearsal.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's a preciousness to the time and opportunity before you.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, in a sense, maybe just checking that negative mindset or that closed mindset that says, I can't do it, it's too hard, why am I not there?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Let go of that energy and just appreciate the preciousness and the timeliness of what's with you right today.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And consider like the fruit of the opportunity before you.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a painful thing, but what will you learn?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: How will you grow from what is right in front of you?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: In this same way, we can also kind of zoom out of our own heads and zoom out of the energy and the kind of this is hard and it can come with prayer and meditation practice, but just taking a couple breaths and thinking about zooming out from your neighborhood or where you're at.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Think of all the people in your neighborhood or your community or even in your region of the world that might be hurt, that might be in the hospital or suffering today.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: People that are really struggling and they have no resources, or they don't even take time to investigate resources.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of people near you that are doing poorly today, even if it is just around not having a good mindset.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're here listening to this, you've run into this.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: How will you use that today?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: How will you use just a little bit different, a little bit of time in a different mind state today?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's worth it.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's loving ourselves.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the first point.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that time is short.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: The sun is already going down, it's precious, but that doesn't mean to beat ourselves up.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just ask what you can do a little bit better today.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And consider those people around you that don't have that opportunity, aren't making that opportunity, aren't afforded that.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Use your time well.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing I wanted to share that I kind of sketched out here was um to maybe go to the other extreme.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's a toxic culture of hyperproductivity going on here, too.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So again, this is maybe where we frighten ourselves.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't have much time.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's very precious.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking inwardly of myself, when I've heard that teaching before, I'm like, you're right.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It is precious.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that really ticks me off.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've been wasting so much of it.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Look at all the stuff I've wasted.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then wanting to make this week, you know, hyper-productive, just like all-star week, you know, hit it, hit every hit every hit out of the park.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone's a home run.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's toxic.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's not helpful.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a good mindset.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: That is actually a closed mindset and the conditional mindset.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you could even say one that um is gonna beat is is is is a resentment and training, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're never gonna measure up to the standards you're setting for yourself with that ultra-productivity mindset.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: To kind of counter that with an antidote, try this instead.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Think of your icky guy.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you've never heard that term before, it just simply means think of your deeper purpose.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: What gets you up out of bed every day?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Truly, what do you stand up for?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: What's behind the money, behind the role, or even behind the goal?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: What behind that do you really, really stand up for and defend?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And think about this.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: If today was your last day on this earth, truly, how would you want to be remembered by your family and your friends?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: How would you want to be remembered?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what would you do with that precious day?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we can move away from just toxic uh productivity, conditional outputs, and instead come behind the things, even behind the roles and the money and the status behind the material to those intrinsic, those internal qualities that you stand up for.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Reminding yourself and using the tool, if today was the last day, how would you want to feel?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: How would you want to walk?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where would you put your time?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, how do you want your friends and family and the dear ones near you to be to be remembering you?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh how do you want them to remember you?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of the second point.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And our last one is kind of our taps into that unknown potential.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, or to go back to the quote from Vonnegut: the tragedy isn't um that we have difficulties, but we tend to put it off, the struggle or the projects.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, where is your purpose or your inner vision um battling against your actions and your habits?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really powerful question.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you have these kind of um things that you want to get done?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it's conflicting against your habits that you have.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe it's, hey, I want to be in really good shape, and I want to feel stronger in my body, and I want to get up for those bike rides.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want to play with the kids in the yard.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: But behind it, you might have this.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I need to squat 400 pounds, or I need to be perfect in my uh attendance.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: I need to do five days a week at the gym.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: We can see where that kind of vision or that purpose, you know, we want to be in shape and strong, is battling against that view we have of ourselves.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want it to be perfect.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: It needs to be great.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can't just take one little step.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's not going to make a difference.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: So oftentimes what I find with myself and my clients, our purpose or our vision can really fight against our habits and our actions.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't a personal flaw.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is simply something where you can come back to and say, what actions or small little habits, 15-minute chunks can I do every day that would reinforce that purpose or vision instead of being all or nothing?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe even checking, why are you ambivalent about it?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you tend to put it off, as Kurt Vonnegut said?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the tragedy behind your passivity today?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Alan Watts shared this quote No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Unquote.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Again, that's Alan Watts.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where we really come to the crucial painful thing that we need to work on, and that's the pause that changes everything.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by that?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the pause is this calm presence, and it isn't a luxury we get to uh play with.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, I think it's a priority, I think it's a leadership skill, it's a parenting skill that needs to come online, needs to be trained.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Pausing and using our calm presence is something we can train and build up.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is a relaxed, present awareness beats productivity hacks nine out of ten times.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Truly.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, this past uh month, I've worked with two or three people where I have literal proof from our sessions when I help leaders just relax, letting things settle in a sense.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need to be always on and responding to every email or every Slack message.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, by being less available sometimes, we actually show up better as leaders in so many ways.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's just giving people a chance to empower themselves by taking actions without needing to rely on always being helped.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that doesn't mean we throw it all out.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're not always in a relaxed awareness.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: We do need to be on and fight fires, and so to speak.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: But nine out of ten times, we can let things settle, and the power of saying no in the moment actually gives us a leadership pause that matters because this constant emotional leadership availability, it really is a passive tax on our work and life productivity.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Being constantly on taxes us in ways that maybe we don't recognize, and especially we don't recognize in our uh always-on hustle work culture.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And really the key here is, and the thing that I work on all the time with people is just dropping in for 30 seconds, a 30-second pause practice.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Try including that into your day.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I'll invite you right now, take in three or four breaths with me.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're driving or moving about, it's okay.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to come into kind of some altered state, but just slow down and feel that breath go deeper into your belly and slow down that outbreath.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Even letting the mind relax a little bit.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you're constricting in your mind or ultra-constricting in your body.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just see with the next outbreath if you can let that settle.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Almost like letting that sand and mud that's been stirred up in a small pond, just relaxing and in a sense being calm.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: When we do that, that sediment in the pond settles to the bottom, a calm pond of a mind, in a sense.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I do this all the time.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, five-minute chunks of this are really good at centering reset exercises.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the pause that changes everything.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: That is kind of what I work on and what I coach on and what I practice with.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll leave you with this as we kind of log off for the session.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if your presence, your calm presence, is the most powerful thing you can bring into any room?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not talking inflated ego, um, somebody who holds the room with their big chest.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: No, not at all.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about an aware and mindful and somebody who's kind of at home in their body and maybe seeing things that's going on.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: If they're agitated or sad or a little withdrawn, they feel that in their body and they work with it in the moment.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: But most of all, what if their presence is the most powerful thing they bring into a room?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: How would you like to have that in your life?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: If that's interesting to you, or please let me know.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's some links in the show notes.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to connect with you, fill out an application, and I'll reach back out if I feel like there's a connection.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I want to really thank you for listening to Fierce Encouragement.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Share this with somebody who matters.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And thanks for taking your time.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: And last but not least, put these things into action.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you maybe re-listen to this, but take these uh prompts and these questions and these ideas and get them into your life.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only way we'll change.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: So focus on the positive, keep driving forward and take a little bit of action today.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, wherever you're at, have a great day, a great evening, and thank you for listening again.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.