Latest / Harder Than Life / She Had To Lose Everything To Find Herself w/ Bria Maletic

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She Had To Lose Everything To Find Herself w/ Bria Maletic · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
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• 0:30
  Everyone says we stay for the children. I left for my children. I saw how different my kids were when it was just me versus when he would come home. That was when I decided I needed to make a change for them. Either my mindset is going to destroy me and take me, or my mindset is going to build me. And I always was more powerful with my mind than my emotions because basically it brought my discipline.
• 0:56
  Where did you feel like the word was healed? I think I was more on edge and now I'm not. I would say healed from what it used to be. However, we should always be still learning and improving our mind no matter what.
• 1:10
  Date yourself, find happiness with yourself. Be okay with being alone. You're here to make yourself happy and to do what you wanna do. Your partner is an added bonus to that life. If they are not adding to it and they're taking from it or making things worse, then they need to go. Wherever you go, you take you with you. Exactly.
• 1:32
  My guest today built the brand, hit the numbers, and got exactly what she was told to chase. And then her body sent her the actual invoice. She came out the other side with a platform and a much harder truth than the one she used to sell. If you're tired, wired, and refuse to admit it, this one is for you.
• 1:54
  Those of you that are watching and you tune in every single week, please smash that subscribe button. We are focused on growing that for you to get bigger and better guests. I appreciate it. It means the world to me and our team breathing into you. If you're watching this on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify, subscribe on that platform.
• 2:20
  Welcome back to the show, my friends. Today's guest is a doozy in that
• 2:27
  If you've followed me at all, you know that I love the Friday movies. Today's guest sells drugs, does hair, and babysits. I'm joking. Cops don't know when to break down the door, but we have Bria here today, as we just did in the intro, and I'm going to tell you her story is wild. Before we hit record, you were telling me your story. Yes. Can you summarize it and how you ended up here today on the Heart of the Life show? Tell me your story.
• 2:56
  Let's start there. Tell me your story. Perfect. So at 19, I started life very, very fast, very young. I ended up meeting, you know, my ex-husband had two beautiful babies with him, found out very fast that that wasn't the man I wanted to be with nor needed to be with. Um,
• 3:15
  You know, he was very controlling, very narcissistic. He, if I needed diapers, it was, well, because since you asked for diapers, it's not gonna be on your time. I'm gonna make you wait two days. And that's when I started my wedding photography business at 19. I, you know, excelled at that. It was my passion. It was my drive. I did an amazing job. I went all over the world doing it.
• 3:37
  And when COVID hit, my daughter was just born. And that was my aha moment of this is not the life that I'm supposed to be living. This isn't the man I'm supposed to be living with. You know, everyone says we stay for the children. I left for my children.
• 3:54
  And I saw how different my kids were when it was just me versus when he would come home. And so that was when I decided I needed to make a change for them and get up and go. Now, that was back in Laguna Beach, California. Now, being out here in Florida, that's where the change was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to go to Tennessee with them. I had horse property online.
• 4:17
  all picked out, everything was set in stone, came to Florida, fell in love, and moved here not knowing a soul. And so I canceled my move from Tennessee, came to Florida, and we had no car, no furniture, nothing other than clothes and a double stroller to use as a car.
• 4:35
  And I was, you know, in that moment, I knew I can either make this break me or I can make this make me and be my story. And this can be my foundation. And so that was the moment where I was like, you know, either my mindset is going to destroy me and take me or my mindset is going to build me. And I always was more powerful with my mind than anything else with my emotions because my mind and it basically...
• 5:04
  Brought my discipline. So my mind drove my discipline into my actions and getting me out of my situation So the first lesson was don't get married at 19. Yes, and then but you started choosing you and you moved to to Florida. I want to help you along on this and just say You got here and is that when you started selling insurance? Yes. So guys walk through this and
• 5:27
  We're getting a 10-year journey of a young lady that she's really just getting started. That's why I wanted you on the show. Yeah. So she's in a narcissistic relationship at 19. Two babies during the pandemic. And ups everything. Moves to Florida with a blow-up mattress. Starts a brand new career.
• 5:46
  Yeah, so I started insurance and, you know, I started making enough money where I could get a car, get furniture and have that foundation for my kids and I. Luckily, my kids have never known that we've struggled. You know, we moved here when they were one in three. They saw it as a vacation. They were just happy to be here. They didn't know that.
• 6:04
  You know, some days I was choosing not to eat so they could eat. They had no clue whatsoever. And to this day, they are still the most outgoing, sweetest souls ever. And so when I chose insurance, it was because of the fact that with weddings, I was able to make a lot of money and also be present mother.
• 6:22
  Insurance, I can work remote, I can make a lot of money and I can be present, but not only that, I can also help people by protecting their family and their loved ones. So it was a win-win, you know, I get to help families, but I also get to help my own family. Now, during that process, I realized that insurance just wasn't for me.
• 6:38
  I loved it. I loved doing it, but I was slowly getting burnt out from it. And I realized that, you know, my purpose was bigger. I've always held back about posting online about my story, but yet I've always wanted to help other women. And I just didn't know how. And so once I started posting, I started realizing there's a lot of women out there that are silently, just like how I was, silently going through all the struggles and not
• 7:03
  knowing who to turn to because they either don't have family or they don't have family that and so I had to make sure that I had myself in order for me to have my children. You got you. So that's why I have you on the show. You are literally harder than life. At the end of the day, what I want to know is so you started off destination weddings. Now it was insurance and now something life took another journey.
• 7:26
  odd turn and you and the kids got sick. Yes. So let's tell the audience that, because I'm getting to a point and then we're gonna start drilling you with the fun questions. Yes, perfect. Yeah, so we ended up getting black mold toxicity. And it was due to the air conditioning system. So, you know, in Florida it's very humid, very hot.
• 7:46
  where inside, normally what we do is we crank the AC. That ends up creating the moisture. And so it was creating the black mold in the vents, and it was pushing black mold out of the vents all day long towards us. My kids were getting very sick where they were, you know, congested, coughing, sneezing. I assumed it was from school. I then started getting sick where I had extreme brain fog, fatigue, I couldn't focus to save my life. I couldn't even put sentences together. I would wake up exhausted. I had no energy whatsoever.
• 8:15
  and I started having rashes all over my face. And so after a year of going to doctors, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, no one could figure it out. They couldn't diagnose me. They were sending me from doctor to doctor, doing blood work, labs, everything, and everything was coming back normal. So they were hitting me with allergies, eczema, all this stuff. And I knew that it wasn't any of that. They were trying to put me on a bunch of steroids, ointments,
• 8:40
  And I was like, well, if I can find the root cause to this, I can heal us naturally. And that's exactly what I did. You know, my kids were diagnosed with IBS because they're having stomach issues due to it because it was attacking their liver and everything. And so they were diagnosed with IBS and dehydration. I was diagnosed with basically stress and eczema, dermatitis, anything that was skin related, they just put on me.
• 9:06
  Is this what the picture that drew me to you was with your swollen eyes? Yes. So we'll flash that up there. But there's a picture on our Instagram, Bria Miletic, is...
• 9:19
  That is awful. And that was caused by black mole. Yes. And so I would wake up and my eyes would be so extremely swollen, I couldn't even open them. And I couldn't go outside, I couldn't sweat, I couldn't go to the gym, I couldn't put makeup on, moisturizer, I couldn't even wash my face with normal face wash because anything would irritate it and make it worse. And so not only was I extremely fatigued and brain fogged and all this other stuff, now going from mental and emotional, now it's physical.
• 9:47
  And you're still working telling insurance during this time? Yes. Oh my God. And I, and then it was, you know, really destroying my mental health because I couldn't figure out why can't I focus on this call with this client? Why can't I just wake up and get what I need to get done? And so it really started to destroy me. And that's when I realized like, no, if I could fight what I've been through my entire life, I can fight this. And so I was like, first of all, like I need to get my mental health back in state. And what'd you do? What'd you do to get your, you can't, you.
• 10:17
  keep referring to that meditation journaling so i used to cold plunge however when your nervous system is not regulated you should not be cold plunging i found that out very fast because i would cold plunge and people would be like you're psycho because i would literally be in the cold plunge for like 10 15 minutes with headphones on just relaxing
• 10:38
  Then I, you know, my nervous system was so messed up. I went to cold plunge and I about screamed out of my body. Like my whole body just went in like this fight or flight survival mode. And so then I started doing saunas, saunas, Pilates, anything to just slow my brain down and, but still move my body grounding, going for a walk outside on the beach, like anything that. You didn't turn to drugs or alcohol or anything?
• 11:01
  That's pretty freaking remarkable because that's my story. Yeah. Booze was my best friend. Yeah. So. And so, well, that's what a lot of, yeah. You are literally harder than life. All right. So you did the cold plunges, the saunas. What did you do? Because everyone's sitting on the edge of their thing. Someone's driving right now and they're thinking, what did you do? What did you do? And I'm going to, is it okay if I share your age? Yes. At 29, you have a head space about you and an energy about you that is...
• 11:30
  is very good and very healed. So whatever you're doing, I want to know. So do the listeners. Because guys, I got a newsflash. She works with mostly women. This is men's stuff too because I'm going through it right now. It's not just the black mold. That's bad. But the stress. I just looked at Steve and my producer. I said, I think that if people were under as much stress as I am right now, it would break them.
• 11:55
  I mean, almost nothing is going right in my life right now. And I just, I just, I show up and show out. How are you? How did you do that? I started with simple, small steps. So the, yep. The baby steps that basically built the habits. And that was.
• 12:10
  slowing down not having to be in a rush you know being a single mom in the morning i'm always rushed it's it's get your teeth brushed get your lunch get breakfast let's get out the door they are now six and eight yes and so it's always go go go
• 12:26
  Well, I realized, okay, if I wake up 30 minutes before I have to wake them up, then I have me time. I can slow my morning down. I can actually enjoy my breakfast, be outside, read my Bible, have a moment for myself, and then wake them up and slowly do everything that I need to do. So that was step one is just slowing down. Even if, you know...
• 12:46
  Slow down and speed up. Yeah, exactly. Where were you all my life? Exactly. And even when I would eat, I would eat so fast. I would just chow it down just to get it done with and then get to the next thing. And everyone would make fun of me. They're like, wow, you eat so fast. Like how, even my daughter, she's like, wow, did you taste it? Like, it's so- Oh, so you have a boy and a girl? Yeah. For some reason I thought there were two boys. Yeah, so I have, my son is eight and my daughter is six. Nice.
• 13:08
  And so, you know, slowing down with everything. Then it came to your morning routine, and how you wake up and how you go to sleep sets the tone for the entire day. Is this my little sister? What? Seriously. And so, you know, how you wake up, if you grab your phone the second you wake up and you start hitting that dopamine hit, you're gonna be looking for that dopamine all day long.
• 13:28
  Just this morning, the opposite is true too. Just this morning, I woke up, I had 11 text messages and problems started right from the first time. It was from my IT company. And I'm looking like, oh boy, here today is going to be... And then I did a meditation and brought myself out of it, got myself in gratitude and you're here. So both ways work. Do not grab your phone. They tell you to put your phone in another room. It's actually smart. Exactly. And so even at nighttime, if you're laying in bed and you're just scrolling...
• 13:55
  on your phone for no reason and then you close your eyes well your body level of stress is up here now you didn't allow yourself to naturally come down and relax and so i'm very intentional with how my day is and how i wake up and how i go to sleep and i do the same with my kids they're very intentional with how you know they handle their stress and the food that they put in their body because our gut is our second brain so if you're eating junk food and processed food and
• 14:25
  you're going to feel basically that brain fog and that fatigue and you're going to be tired and not have that clarity. And so I'm very, you know, disciplined in that aspect as well of what I put into my body. Now at nighttime, being a mom, I'm go, go, go from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. So after they go to sleep, I turn off the TV, the phone, everything. And I go and I take a shower in the dark with a candle, no noise, nothing.
• 14:51
  Oh, it's the first I've ever heard of that one. Oh my God. Shower in the dark with a candle. Yes. Okay. It is the best thing that you could possibly do. It brings your entire body down. You feel so relaxed like you're at a spa and it's just so peaceful. Any music, anything? No. I mean, if you want to do like spa music meditation sounds, you can. Where'd you come up with this?
• 15:10
  I just tried it one night because I was so like overstimulated with everything going on. And I was like, I just need no noise, no light, nothing. And so I just lit a candle, put one in the shower, put one on the counter, turned off the lights. And I was like, oh, my God, I've been missing out.
• 15:27
  And so, but the thing is like after you come out of the shower, you have to have that same intent going to bed. So you don't go and lay in bed and then put the TV on or go on your phone. You go lay in bed and you just sit with yourself. And that's what people can't do. They can't sit with themselves, even for 30 minutes. They can't just be quiet by themselves with their own thoughts. And that allows you to naturally just calm down and go to sleep. And then you're gonna wake up and you're gonna, if you don't grab that phone and you wake up and you just slowly get out of bed,
• 15:57
  take a shower, get ready for the day, and then go to your phone, your levels of stress are going to be so much better. Did you go to any therapy? I have not. Wow. Wow. Never. I had to figure out the deep, dark demons in mind. So that's remarkable. So those are the great advice. Anything else?
• 16:14
  No, I think that's it. And my last one will be just a reminder, go work out. Oh, always move your body. You need to move your body. Even if it's just a walk on the beach, you need to move your body. And so I move my body every day. You know, my off days from working out is a walk on the beach. And so I go to the gym five days a week. I go to Pilates one day a week. And then the other day is just walking on the beach. Wow.
• 16:36
  So you just basically said my whole routine. So obviously you work out, if you guys are watching this on YouTube, somewhere in the day you find a way to exercise. What other recommendations? There was something in here about peptides. So that is the hottest thing. Everybody's talking about it. You're seeing with the advent of Ozempic and GLPs that everybody's losing a lot of weight. And I think this is the most exciting time in our world.
• 17:06
  existence because I believe AI and with peptides, it's really leveling the playing field. You have no reason to be overweight. Sorry, people. You have no reason to be overweight. You have no reason that you can't find information anymore with AI. So all that's left is your attitude and your energy. Yep. Yep.
• 17:26
  And literally, you can win in this world. Exactly. So tell me about your peptide journey because I know that was important. Yes. So after, you know, I've healed my mindset, I've healed my basically... Wait, do you think it's healed all the way? I don't think we're ever truly healed all the way. I think we're always learning and how we should always be learning. Where did you feel like the word was healed? Like it just, you weren't reacting the same way? Yes. Because people are sitting here going...
• 17:51
  I think I was more on edge and now I'm not, you know, so we're, I would say healed from what it used to be. However, we're always, we should always be still learning and improving our mind no matter what. And so with the peptides after, you know, my nervous system came back to level and everything was back to, I can breathe and I'm not on edge and I'm not overstimulated or anything like that.
• 18:17
  I started looking into the peptides and I went to the peptides, not for muscle or weight loss or anything, but for actually healing. So that was where my skin healed a hundred percent where I didn't have any of the rashes or the swollen eyes or anything. And so with my kids, obviously they can't do peptides. So I found a heavy metal black mold toxicity detox drop for them and that healed them completely. So you never went to the doctor? Nope.
• 18:46
  So you're not a peptide expert. You're not a doctor. We're not claiming to be. No. What did you take for your skin? So with the skin is GHKCU, which is the beauty peptide. It's all collagen. It's called Glow, right? Well, so Glow is going to be the blend. Oh. Yeah. And so GHKCU is... She knows more than I do. So GHKCU is just by itself. It's just the copper peptide by itself. And that's going to be collagen, hair growth. And then the KPB is for anti-inflammatory.
• 19:15
  So I did that for my scan as well. And then we have glutathione, which is the detox for all the toxins. So we stacked a bunch of different peptides for different reasons. Now I also added the NAD for mental clarity. Yeah.
• 19:32
  After I got that stack and I saw the improvements literally within about three days of NID, I saw improvements and I was like, wow, this is insane. So then I went and got, let's see, I got Tessa Moreland and BBC 157 for the gym because I do work out. I go to Pilates. I want to make sure that, you know, my muscle recovery is also there as well.
• 19:57
  Where did you obtain your peptides, even if it's from the black market? It doesn't matter. I'm no judgment. I just want to make sure that I just want to – because everybody's – it's the hottest thing right now. Everybody thinks, I just think peptides and my life's going to get better. Now, notice, Bria said she healed what was going on inside her mind first. Yes. Then grabbed the peptides. There's no magic pill, folks. It's harder than life, not easier than life. So you healed your mind, and then you said, let's get on the body. Where did you get peptides from?
• 20:25
  So I found a website that, you know, I did a lot of research for about four or five months because I wanted to make sure that it was legit and that they had all their certificates and everything. So I ended up finding a website that my girlfriend's been on for two years. Don't say it. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, perfect. So, you know, she clearly has been on it for a while. Everything's working for her. I found it myself. And then for some reason I was like, why don't I just ask the one person I know that has been on peptides forever?
• 20:53
  So I asked her and she actually ended up using that website. And so it was perfect. I haven't had any issues. Nice. I'll introduce you to we're, we're, spoiler alert. And I said this on my last solo episode we have, we're partnering with somebody to bring it here to Florida as well as nationwide. So we'll have some correct practitioners. And I will tell you, I used to get it from a website, my peptides from a website and I had really good
• 21:20
  Reaction success, I would say, and it did me well. And then I got with a functional health practitioner and got it from a compounding pharmacy where it was legit, and the results are amazing. I'm on the Tessa Moreland and GHKU, and it's GHKCU, easy enough for me to say. And hair's growing out of my ears now. I mean, and my skin. Oh, I have all these little baby hairs that are poking out like crazy, and it's driving me insane.
• 21:50
  Wait till you get my age. It gets worse. So anyways, what I would say to people is just do it the right way. I don't know when this is going to come out, but I hope my solo episode comes out before this where I talk about my protocol.
• 22:06
  It comes with, out of the leg nation, it comes with a lot of discipline. You guys know my routine. I work on my mind first, my body second, and then at 50, I need supplements. I've been taking supplements since I was 39 because you'll see soon, not even soon, and you've still got many years left, you'll see the body starts working against you. So, guys, that's why I think I'm going to live to 120 because I –
• 22:32
  literally do all of this work. I take all of these great things. So I want to dig more into what you're doing now with your program to help women. And we're going to talk a lot about women, guys.
• 22:45
  I love to say what women want. We have one here that's here in Florida. Got her stuff together, and we're going to share with you guys what she looks for when she meets people. What else we should be doing to heal. She's probably a narcissist expert. I'm sure the universe sent you several more narcissists after.
• 23:06
  Let's talk about that because people like relationships. So when did you start dating again when you got to Florida? And let's reset the time. Are we talking during the pandemic 2021? So I moved here 2022. I ended up, you know, leaving everything. My ex-husband, I ended up leaving him around 21. And so 2022 is when I moved here. Now, I didn't start.
• 23:30
  even being slightly interested in dating for two years because I was like, you know, 19 years old is when I settled down and got married to a 35 year old. So it went from high school to motherhood and marriage real fast. And for me, I was like, you know, I just spent.
• 23:50
  four or five years with a person that drained the life out of me. And now I have this beautiful moment to restart with my children and put my focus. I love that reframe by the way. Yeah. Beautiful moment. I say all the time, stillness, silence, solitude. That's the answer to life. Stillness, silence, and what you just said, solitude. Talk about slow down to speed up. You just did it. You're living. Most people can't do that. Where did you find this?
• 24:17
  With me, people ask me that same question. It's like I'm God-powered. Where are you? You're far so young to be extremely this experienced and this wise. Yeah. Where did you get this? I've always been like this ever since I was a child. So my siblings would make fun of me because they're like, oh, she doesn't talk.
• 24:37
  Because I would just sit there and I would analyze everything and be like, oh, I don't like that. I don't like that. How you said this, I don't like. And I would just analyze everything and how people moved, what they said, how their mannerisms were. And then I brought that into adulthood. And I'd be able to read people very, very easily to the point that people, like my best friend, for example,
• 24:57
  Her lovely picker is just... It's not the best, okay? Oh, boy. I don't know who this is, but... And so, like, I met one of the guys, and within five seconds of meeting him, I was like...
• 25:11
  Nope, don't like him. And she was like, you literally just asked him his name. I was like, I don't care, I don't like him. The energy. Yes, I said his energy's completely off. I'm telling you right now, he's very controlling and he's a raging narcissist. Worst relationship she's ever been in her life. Very controlling, raging narcissist. And she's like, what in the hell? How did you know without knowing anything? You know, she asked me, she's like, can you come to lunch with us? And I was like, nope, don't care too, don't wanna know him.
• 25:37
  And so quickly our understanding. So you look at our boundaries. That's the second thing. Boundaries are very important. There you go. Where did you learn this? Where? It took me till 43 to start saying, why? How am I attracting this? Men and women listen to this show right now. This girl has figured it out at a very young age. And kudos to you, Bria.
• 25:59
  I'm very, very strict on, you know, like I said, I'm very strict on what I allow in my body. I'm very strict what I allow around me because your environment is going to make or break you. If, you know, I don't know if you've ever seen the picture of the moldy strawberry next to the perfect strawberry that slowly ends up getting moldy because it's next to the moldy one. And it's that's how it is. You know, I've always been very selective on girlfriends, people in my life.
• 26:27
  The second that, you know, anyone switches to a different side that I don't want to be around, I have no problem getting rid of you because I'm protecting my peace, my happiness and my mindset and now my children. And that's the biggest thing for me. And so, you know, my children, they are the same. My daughter is six years old. She came home to me and she said, Mom, I don't want to be friends with, you know, so and so anymore. I said, no.
• 26:50
  Why? That's your best friend. She goes, well, she's very rude to people and I don't like that energy around me. I want to play with other friends and she won't let me. So I told her I can't be friends with you if you're not going to allow other people to be friends with us. Six years old because she was taught to be very extremely kind and loving, but also to not surround yourself with people that are not. And so I'm very, very particular on who I let in my life.
• 27:14
  Tell us about the ADD dust and went off the beaten path. So you started dating. Tell us about, because God's going to test you. They want to see if you're smart. And they keep sending the same person in a different outfit. Tell me about how those went. So, yeah, you know, two years I didn't date. I didn't...
• 27:35
  Dated yourself, girl. Exactly. I dated myself and I made time for my children and we had a beautiful time. After two years, you know, it was just kind of by accident. I still didn't care, but it was, you know, out and about with girlfriends and then people would come up to me and talk to me and I was like, okay, maybe, you know, it's time to start. I realized real fast.
• 27:57
  I realized real fast. I was like, Yeah, I'm good. Like this is, you know, this is terrible out here. And it's just I think Today's world because we have everything at our fingertips. It's always the next best thing. The grass is always greener on the other side. No one cares to sit down and really understand a person, the good, the bad, anything. And truly communicate like a grown adult.
• 28:26
  Where, yes, things are going to get hard. Okay, that's reality. There's going to be tough situations, tough conversations. How you handle it and how you get through it is everything. It's not us against each other. It's you and I against the problem. And no one really cares about that. They're like, oh, it's getting a little difficult. Let me just go over here to Samantha that's in Oklahoma that's DMing me.
• 28:48
  You know, like it's something that's so easy for them to run away to rather than just sitting down being a mature adult with emotional intelligence and having a tough conversation that is a little bit uncomfortable, which is totally fine. You know, like you can have tough conversations that are uncomfortable, but how you handle them is everything.
• 29:08
  Well, you have to have them from a regulated nervous system. And all that means is just being calm and being okay. And whatever comes up is usually what needs to be healed. Yes. And it's a good thing. It's a really good thing. I'm going to go first, and then I'm going to ask you right back. As I...
• 29:23
  Number one, if I were single and I was out dating, but I see this everywhere, is I think it's a travesty when people use the filters. Yes. And I see it everywhere. I have a couple of friends that I look at and I go, I don't know who that is because they've filtered themselves so much. So number one, if you're a guy or a girl and you're using filters...
• 29:45
  you need to heal. Sorry, you just need to heal because it's just the first lie that you're telling not only yourself, but the whole world. And you're gonna attract people that are also telling themselves lies. What are the three to five steps that women should take right now that are listening to this saying, they're driving their car like, girl, that's me. What are the three to five steps they should do right now? I think first is date yourself. You know, find happiness with yourself. Realize, you know, be okay with being alone.
• 30:15
  You don't need your girlfriend to go to the yoga class. You can go by yourself. And so I think, you know, just dating yourself, being okay with being alone, and really figuring out what makes you happy in life. Whether it's a career, a business, family, a hobby, it doesn't matter. I think just really figuring out what makes you happy and- Not what makes your parents happy. Correct. And not what makes everybody else happy. Correct. What makes you? Yes, exactly. And so, you know,
• 30:44
  People are going to come and go in your life. They're always going to disappoint you. Season, a reason, or a lifetime. A reason or a season. Yeah, exactly. And so it's very important to focus on you and what makes you happy. And then I think always, you know, I'm very close to God.
• 30:59
  I think that has always helped me tremendously to make sure that I don't fall and go into the darkness of my headspace when I was going through those hard times. So even if you're not close to God, maybe meditate, you know, where you can escape all the negative self-talk in yourself. And then, you know, the last thing is if you have anxiety, find something that's creative because anxiety kills creativity, but also the other way around of creativity kills anxiety. Yeah.
• 31:29
  Example. Something that's so simple. If you feel like you're always anxious and like you can't breathe, maybe start painting. I've seen women color in coloring books. Is that what you're talking about? My sister, actually. She's in her 30s and she colors in coloring books because it slows her down. So when she finds herself having anxiety or like overthinking, she'll grab her daughter's coloring book and just...
• 31:51
  start coloring because it puts your brain towards that activity rather than towards yourself. Because when you're sitting there with yourself and you have this anxiety, your brain starts attacking yourself and you have the negative thoughts and all that stuff. So right back to you, what is the thing that you're noticing in the dating space that people are doing besides the instant gratification? What can they do?
• 32:13
  So what's the first red flag if they're doing something that they should look inward and say, hey, maybe I should take a little break, work on me, and then come back into it? What do you see? I feel like, like I said earlier, no one wants to sit with themselves. No one wants to work on themselves and heal. It's always, oh, well, it didn't work out because it was that person.
• 32:32
  Well, if there's a pattern that, you know, every ex didn't work out at, you know, every two years, because that's when things start getting serious. Maybe you should look at yourself of why am I being scared to commit? Why am I being scared of this?
• 32:48
  you know if there's a pattern of every accident work out because i cheated on them like maybe you should look at yourself and and work on yourself of why do you feel the need no no my knees were yes no he wasn't he wasn't making me feel seen and hurt exactly she didn't get what she didn't get me exactly and you know
• 33:07
  I think a lot of people put a lot of power on their partner of my partner is here to make me happy. My partner is here to make my life easier, which you're always going to fail. You're always going to see something that you don't like about them and say, this isn't going to work because you didn't you didn't do this for me.
• 33:27
  You're here to make yourself happy and to do what you want to do. Your partner is an added bonus to that life. So if your partner comes to you and you're already set and you're happy within yourself and you're healed and you have a great mindset, your life is together and your partner comes to you, they are added bonus to that. If they are not adding to it and they're taking from it or making things worse, then they need to go. And people don't understand that.
• 33:53
  So that's a long answer to what she said. And I want to reiterate this because I say it all the time is if you can't be alone, I mean truly alone, not I'm meeting people of the opposite sex for cocktails here and there and I'm casually dating. If you can't say I'm taking six months and I'm not going on a single date, I'm not going to talk to somebody, I'm not going to do anything, I'm going to choose me.
• 34:17
  She's absolutely right. It's a red flag. Look inward, do the mirror moment, and it's definitely you. Wherever you go, you take you with you. Exactly. So having said that, let's talk about your program because I'm sure you've heard this before. You should write a book already. Yes, I've heard that a lot. A lot.
• 34:35
  I mean, at 29 years young, you were wise beyond your years. Yeah. I didn't even... At 30, I was on... I did my tour of Thailand and I said, this isn't healthy, what I'm doing. And it was my first inkling, like, I need to change my ways. I didn't do anything until I was 43. At 40, again, God sent me another thing and said,
• 34:59
  It's time to grow up. And I still ignored it until 43. Then I took it seriously. So besides writing a book, tell me about your program that you offer. How do people get it? What are people, what are they going to walk away from besides being healed mind, body, and probably some...
• 35:16
  their body from the peptides and soul what are they going to get yes and how do they get it so right now i'm i'm currently working on it it's not yet completed but basically within the program it's going to be a full access of like you said everything about mind body soul you know make sure you heal that first because that is your foundation that is very important that's something that you
• 35:39
  And then from that, it's, you know, I've always wanted to help women. And yes, I understand there's a lot of men out there that need the help, you know, because I do get a lot of messages from these men saying that they need the help as well. But for me, I feel so tied to women because of the fact I didn't have anyone. I was going through all my struggles very, very quietly by myself. No one knew that I was struggling because I always had a smile on my face. I was always positive. I was always happy.
• 36:06
  So with my program, you're working on yourself, but you're also learning how to build a personal brand. Because what I want to do for these women is to make sure that they have an avenue of some kind of
• 36:18
  income that they can go to, but also something to put their energy to. Yes, you can. It's a beautiful thing to be a stay at home wife and a beautiful thing to be a stay at home mother. It was my dream, what I wanted. However, when that was taken from me, my identity was taken from me. So I think it's very important for women to feel like they have their own identity outside of being a mother and a wife that no one can take from them. What is your identity right now? Ooh, that's a great question.
• 36:46
  Sorry to put you on the spot. Yeah, no, I think right now, you know, going in this transition of this new identity is very exciting, very powerful. I think that, you know, yes, I am a great mother. I always will be a great mother. No one could take that from me. But I think for myself, it's just, you know, being that strong, ambitious woman supporter right now of just helping other women get out of where they need to get out of.
• 37:13
  Guys, that goes for both men and women. Men tend to create their own drama, their crisis. I was until I looked in the mirror. Yeah. So your identity is being strong and choosing yourself. I love that. Yeah. It is so good. Personal brand. Why is that so important?
• 37:32
  For me, I used Instagram, you know, social media for my businesses. I made a lot of money with wedding photography. I ended up breeding French Bulldogs for a year and I made almost a million dollars in 11 months strictly from Instagram. So I saw the power in social media.
• 37:51
  That was no marketing, no advertising, nothing. It was just pure organic. And so when I saw that power of what you can do with social media, I was like, well, if you make yourself the brand and you actually have, you know, any anywhere you could go. My weddings and my dogs were completely different accounts that no one even knew I ran. I was not attached to it whatsoever. My name wasn't on it. My face, nothing. Nothing.
• 38:15
  Whereas a personal brand, you have your audience trusting you and you can go whatever direction you want to go and they will follow. So if you wanted to start a skincare line or a bathing suit line, you can do that because they trust you. If you wanted to have a program, whether it's about, you know, mental health or, you
• 38:31
  I've even seen programs about manifestation, you know, like whatever it may be, you can go that direction because your audience is so invested into you and who you are as a person that they trust to follow you. And so that's why I feel like building a personal brand is way stronger than building your business brand on social media.
• 38:49
  I'm going to put you on the spot again. What is holding you back from launching this program? I'm feeling resistance, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to call you out, but I'm going to call you out. Every other thing you've said, I agree with, but I'm feeling resistance. What is it that you need to do to just take that first step like you've done in everything else in your life? What do you need to do to get that? So I actually didn't get to this point until probably a month ago. Good for you. Yeah. And so now this is the first step. You know, this...
• 39:18
  I probably didn't start posting about my story and my life and my issues about a month to three months ago. And it would be little snippets. I went completely ghost on social media because of my face. I didn't show up on it. I didn't post anything, nothing. And if I did post, it was things that were old because I was embarrassed by it. When I started doing my research, I realized how many other people are struggling with not only black mold toxicity, but also with...
• 39:46
  mindset and nervous system regulation. So it wasn't a fact of, I took myself out of it. I wasn't embarrassed anymore. I realized I need to show up for the other people, not for myself, because there's other people that are struggling that need help and I have the answers.
• 40:03
  Wow, that is so good. So by the time, I'm not sure when this is going to air. It's going to be a minute. But by that time, follow her on Instagram. It's how we found her and it's as advertised. You are as advertised. And I expect you to do big things and follow this through because not only do women need it, everybody needs it. But stick with the women because you're most equipped to serve your former self. Exactly.
• 40:31
  And you are wise beyond your years, and I can feel it. But take that first step, get it launched, get it out there, and get people on a program to, you'll feel that fulfillment, that purpose. I say, I'm always doing joy, peace, and my purpose. I want joy, peace, and purpose. I'd be remiss if I didn't, I should have started with this. Your parents are back in California. They're both alive still?
• 40:56
  Do you have relationship with them? I do. Both my parents and all my siblings are all in California. We all lived about 15 minutes apart from each other. I was the only one that left. And the reason I left was not only did I realize, being born and raised in Laguna Beach, it was a great place for me at the time.
• 41:15
  Fast forward to today's world, it's not a great place for my children. So it was, you know, the fact that I didn't want my children to be raised there, I didn't want them to go into that school system, and so that's why I took them out of it. And now that I'm in Florida, they actually come out and visit a lot because it's like a nice little vacation. They get to see their grandbabies and have a great time doing it. It's funny how that works. When you put a standard and a boundary, people meet you where you are. And you said, okay, this is how I... And a boundary is...
• 41:45
  where you can love that person and yourself in the same spot. That's what people don't realize. This isn't, I'm putting a standard, if you don't mean to screw you. No, this is meant to help both sides. So now they've, I don't want to say step up, but they've realized...
• 42:01
  that this is how they can love themselves and you at the same time and they come and they have a part they're part of your life yeah and they're very against it you know my siblings were like how dare you take the babies especially my brother how dare you choose yes exactly especially my brother my brother you know he has all girls and i'm the only one that has a boy and so he's like you took the boy
• 42:23
  You know, like he was so upset, but it was what I had to do in order for my kids and I to have a better life. And I will always pick myself and my children before anyone. Man, you've...
• 42:36
  You've heard so many one-liners from even my second book, The Happier in the Life, that I talk about that it took me years to figure these things out. So you choose you and you'll be okay. Self-care is not selfish. It is absolutely mandatory. You are an absolute badass, and I'm super, super proud of you. And that's why I wanted you on the show today. So we're going to have a little fun. We took it real deep. And...
• 43:02
  Everybody follow her on Instagram because something tells me this story is just beginning. Yeah, it is. And I think that you're, I can feel where you're still feeling your way through. Different levels, you meet different devils. You learn different tactics to slay those devils and move to the next level. So you've done the wedding photography, insurance, the bulldog breeding. You're now launching a, so I could see you doing a podcast. Yeah.
• 43:32
  So that's my goal. And yeah. We have the producer extraordinaire here. Well, I look forward to that. And anything we can do to help you, we will. Because I believe this is a pay it forward. There's plenty of space for all of us. We're going to have a little fun here. We end most shows now with rapid fire. There's no right and there's no wrong. One sentence to one answer. It's been a pleasure. I absolutely...
• 43:55
  love hearing the hero's journey. And yours is just getting started. So best supplement nobody is talking about right now. Ooh. So I would say Soursop. Soursop is a cancer-fighting supplement that...
• 44:12
  The fruit itself is very expensive to get. It's like $150 for one fruit because of the fact that's a natural cancer-fighting supplement. So you can do it as a liquid or a capsule. I do it as a liquid and it is absolutely disgusting and bitter, but- Where do you get it from? You can get the actual capsules liquid from just a normal health store. Amazon sells it. Of course Amazon sells it. Yeah, but you know, the fruit itself, that's like black market.
• 44:40
  And what is other benefits? Even though it fights cancer, what else do you feel? Well, so for me, you know, I'm like, okay, if it fights cancer fighting cells, it's going to fight any negative cell in my body that's trying to attack my body. And so that's why I started taking it. Biggest waste of money in the wellness world right now? That's a hard one.
• 45:02
  I'll tell you what my answer is. Yeah. What was that big? Oh, 100%. GLP. Yeah. Any GLP. Well, it's actually, they just came back with studies showing that it's deteriorating your bones. Oh, that's been out for a while. They have new stuff out that's actually better. Because when you're seeing these better weight losses. Yeah. That would be my number one. Yeah. I would agree. If you could only keep one daily practice for the rest of your life, what is it? I would probably say my shower's in the dark.
• 45:33
  The fellas are all thinking, if they're watching us on YouTube, like, yes, please keep those. This is the lab result that scared you the most. So I guess I would say a lab result or doctor's diagnosis that would scared you the most.
• 45:47
  Um, so from all the stress and the black mold and everything, I actually got a lump in my breasts and they were saying it was cancerous and it wasn't. So I would say that. Wow. Yeah. How long did that go on before you realized it was benign or that it wasn't that? What was it? So it was like almost, you know, from breastfeeding. Like a calcium buildup? Yeah. Which was wild. Hmm. One thing every high performing woman should stop normalizing. Hmm.
• 46:17
  I think the hustle environment that everyone believes so hard in is if you go, go, go, you're going to succeed. And it's like you don't have to hustle and grind your life away to be able to have a beautiful life.
• 46:30
  Girl, that goes for guys, too. I did 555 workouts last year. I pushed myself to the brink, and I got nowhere. This year, I'm slowing down, and YouTube's growing. The podcast is growing. My IT company's growing. My body is actually responding so much about it in the best shape of my life. So, yeah, that whole Goggins...
• 46:54
  Andy Elliott, you'll grit through it. There's a happy medium there. Most definitely. But if you're lazy and you're saying, I can't do that. No, no, no, no, no. There's that happy medium. If you're lazy, maybe tell yourself hustle so you can be that happy medium. You're wise. You're smart. The food, drinker habit you will never go back to. Yeah.
• 47:17
  I mean, I have never had soda and my kids have never had soda. Get out of town. So you don't even start it or finish it. Yeah. I just don't find the reason to have soda, you know, like I just don't care. I've never been a heavy drinker. I'll have a glass of wine here and there. I get made fun of for that a lot, which is like the irony, right? Like heaven forbid, I don't want to drink this poison. Yeah. Like the irony, like, oh, you're not a drinker. I'm like.
• 47:45
  I'm sorry I can't slam 10 drinks back to back like you like Finish this sentence. Most people are not lazy. They are Most people are not lazy They just they don't have a vision. They don't know where to go I feel like people feel like they're stuck because they don't know what direction to go to
• 48:07
  And follow Bria to get her program so you can get that vision. You just said it all in one sense. This has been shockingly beautiful. There are so many little innuendos and bites that you gave that's just literally exactly what the Hotter New Life Nation hears over and over from a young, beautiful woman of all people. The life is hilarious. Guys, please rate and share this show with everybody that you...
• 48:37
  literally could use any woman that was in a narcissistic relationship, which is a bunch of them. Unfortunately, guys, we're as responsible as that as anybody. We need to heal. We do. I speak for myself because I was one of them. I was out there being a bad boy. Sadly, most men are because of how they were raised. They were raised to not have emotions, not to deal with anything and just go through life.
• 49:01
  Well, the good news is your son won't have to deal with that because he's loved. All I ever wanted was my mother to love me. So guys, until next week, be hard in life. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much.
• 49:11
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.