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Andy Stanley - Guardrails, Part 5 The Heart of the Matter · Andy Stanley Sermons

0:01
Speaker 1: I was a little boy, and I mean like little boy.
0:03
Speaker 1: I lived in Miami, and my dad bought me a
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Speaker 1: bow and arrow with those little rubber tip suction cup
0:09
Speaker 1: tips on the ends of the arrows, you know? Some
0:11
Speaker 1: of you remember those. I don't think they even sell
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Speaker 1: those anymore. And so I immediately went out in the
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Speaker 1: backyard and shot my sister. And... The arrow did not stick,
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Speaker 1: and I was so disappointed. And she was disappointed, too,
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Speaker 1: but for an entirely different reason. And so she began
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Speaker 1: to cry, and my dad came out in the backyard.
0:27
Speaker 1: You know, you have pictures that stay with you forever.
0:30
Speaker 1: And he came out, and he took the arrow, and
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Speaker 1: he said he was going to spank me with the arrow.
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Speaker 1: Not stab me with the arrow. No emails. He was
0:35
Speaker 1: going to spank me with the arrow. Because back in
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Speaker 1: the day, that's what you did. That's why I turned
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Speaker 1: out to be such a fine, responsible citizen. So anyway...
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Speaker 1: He began literally to chase me with this arrow, and
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Speaker 1: I thought, well, my mom's in the house. Surely there's
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Speaker 1: mercy in the house. I ran in the house, no
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Speaker 1: mercy for mom, through the living room, into their bedroom,
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Speaker 1: into their bathroom, dead end, nowhere to go. The only
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Speaker 1: way to literally cover my rear was to sit down.
1:01
Speaker 1: And I did, but the lid was up. And immediately,
1:05
Speaker 1: my knees were to my chin, and I was folded
1:07
Speaker 1: up in the toilet, stuck. I'm not making this up,
1:10
Speaker 1: I'm in church, okay? And church is, a lot of church.
1:12
Speaker 1: So anyway, so I'm stuck, and I still, I can see,
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Speaker 1: I'm low, towering over me is my dad with the arrow,
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Speaker 1: and he burst out laughing uncontrollable laughter, and I escaped the...
1:24
Speaker 1: that particular spanking with the arrow, but I learned something.
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Speaker 1: My behavior was forever modified. Do not shoot your sister
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Speaker 1: with the bow and arrow. I learned that very important lesson.
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Speaker 1: And then throughout my childhood, this will be surprising, throughout
1:39
Speaker 1: my childhood, I had other behavioral modification lessons. They went
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Speaker 1: through middle school and high school and all the way
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Speaker 1: through college. And this is something we've all experienced. In fact,
1:49
Speaker 1: we are all really, really good at monitoring and modifying
1:52
Speaker 1: our behavior, aren't we? Because, I mean, when you went
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Speaker 1: to that new job, they said, this is how we
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Speaker 1: do it here. When you went to college and joined
1:58
Speaker 1: a fraternity, they said, this is how we do it here. Sorority,
2:00
Speaker 1: this is how we do it here. We don't do that.
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Speaker 1: We don't dress this way. We don't use that language.
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Speaker 1: So throughout life, we've learned that in order to be successful,
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Speaker 1: we monitor and we modify our behavior. And we're pretty
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Speaker 1: good at it. But then every once in a while,
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Speaker 1: from out of who knows where, and I don't know
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Speaker 1: where this, we don't know where this comes from, do we?
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Speaker 1: Out of nowhere, it seems, or out of somewhere for sure,
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Speaker 1: we say and we do the dumbest things. And we
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Speaker 1: even say sometimes, I don't know where that came from.
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Speaker 1: And the people around us are going, we know where
2:30
Speaker 1: it came from. Write that thing in your book that
2:32
Speaker 1: does this. We know where it came from. And what
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Speaker 1: we're saying when we say, I don't know where it
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Speaker 1: came from is, That's not me. I don't think that way.
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Speaker 1: I don't feel that way. Where did that come from?
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Speaker 1: So where does all that stuff come from? That's what
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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about. today we're in part five
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Speaker 1: the final episode of our series guardrails if you've been
2:52
Speaker 1: with us for a while you know why we call
2:54
Speaker 1: the series guardrails but if not a guardrail as you
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Speaker 1: already know is a system designed to keep vehicles from
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Speaker 1: straying into dangerous or off limits area off limit areas
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Speaker 1: guardrails are never placed in the danger zone guardrails are
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Speaker 1: always placed in the what The safety zone, that's right,
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Speaker 1: and that's why we get in trouble sometimes when we
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Speaker 1: talk about the kind of guardrails we're going to talk about.
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Speaker 1: Guardrails are designed on the highway to do two things,
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Speaker 1: primarily to direct us and protect us. But as we've
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Speaker 1: said throughout this series, the highway is not the only
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Speaker 1: place we need guardrails in our lives. We need some
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Speaker 1: financial guardrails. We need some moral guardrails. We need relational guardrails.
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Speaker 1: We need guardrails in our marriage. Some of you need
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Speaker 1: guardrails in terms of how you parent your children because
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Speaker 1: you were parented in such a way that you don't
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Speaker 1: ever want to do what your parents did, but you
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Speaker 1: have a tendency to veer off in the very same
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Speaker 1: direction that your father, how your father disciplined you or
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Speaker 1: your mother disciplined or didn't discipline you. So sometimes even
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Speaker 1: as parents, we need guardrails. And specifically when we talk
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Speaker 1: about a guardrail outside the context of the highway or
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Speaker 1: curves or bridges, a guardrail is actually a personal standard
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Speaker 1: of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience. It's a
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Speaker 1: personal standard of behavior. That is, I've decided for me,
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Speaker 1: not for you and you not for me, I've decided
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Speaker 1: for me there are certain things that once I begin
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Speaker 1: veering in these directions, something's going to go off in
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Speaker 1: my conscience and say, uh-uh, you're getting a little bit
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Speaker 1: too close to the side of the road. Not when
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Speaker 1: I'm in the danger zone because guardrails aren't in the
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Speaker 1: danger zone. When I'm in the safety zone, but moving
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Speaker 1: in a direction that may be dangerous for me personally
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Speaker 1: or the people that I love. So the point of
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Speaker 1: a guardrail is to light up our conscience before we
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Speaker 1: hurt ourselves, to light up our conscience before we hurt
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Speaker 1: other people, to begin feeling uneasy early before it's too late.
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Speaker 1: So today, as we wrap up this series, I want
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Speaker 1: to talk about what I think is the most important
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Speaker 1: guardrail of all for all of us to establish. I
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Speaker 1: want to talk about how to guard your heart. Solomon,
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Speaker 1: who was considered in the ancient times to be the
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Speaker 1: wisest person that ever lived, some people still think he's
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Speaker 1: the wisest person that ever lived. He wrote the Book
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Speaker 1: of Proverbs. He wrote Song of Solomon. He wrote Ecclesiastes
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Speaker 1: that were included in the Jewish, the Hebrew Bible that
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Speaker 1: then just got wrapped around and strapped onto our New
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Speaker 1: Testament documents. And Solomon wrote about a lot of things.
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Speaker 1: He wrote about money, relationships, marriage, all kinds of relationships, work,
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Speaker 1: what happens after a person dies and what we can
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Speaker 1: expect in the future, the meaninglessness of life, the hope
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Speaker 1: in life. He wrote about everything. But in the book
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Speaker 1: of Proverbs, he says essentially, hey, all that stuff I
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Speaker 1: wrote about, it's really important, but there's one thing I
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Speaker 1: don't want you to miss. If you forget everything else
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Speaker 1: I said, if you've ever had that conversation with one
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Speaker 1: of your parents or maybe with one of your kids,
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Speaker 1: if you forget everything else I said, here's what Solomon says.
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Speaker 1: If you forget everything else I said, above all else,
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Speaker 1: guard your heart. Guard your heart. I've said a lot
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Speaker 1: of important things, but above everything I've said, guard your heart. Well, Solomon,
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Speaker 1: why is that such a big deal? And he says this,
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Speaker 1: because or for everything, Everything, everything, everything you do flows
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Speaker 1: from it. Now, what if that's true? And this isn't
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Speaker 1: even like a religious thought. I mean, what if that's true?
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Speaker 1: What if everything we do erupts from or flows from
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Speaker 1: something that's on the inside of us? What if everything
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Speaker 1: we do originates within? Well, if that's the case, then
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Speaker 1: whatever within is, and obviously it's not our physical heart,
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Speaker 1: but it comes from within us somewhere. If that's the case,
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Speaker 1: then learning to guard that within part because it impacts
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Speaker 1: the without part would be super important. So the question is,
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Speaker 1: what does it look like? What does it look like
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Speaker 1: to begin to guard Your heart. So one day, a
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Speaker 1: thousand years after Solomon wrote that, a thousand years later,
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Speaker 1: Jesus is with his guys and they're doing their Jesus
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Speaker 1: and their disciples thing, healing people and teaching and preaching.
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Speaker 1: And wherever Jesus went, perhaps you know this, wherever Jesus went,
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Speaker 1: there was a cloud that followed him of religious leaders, Pharisees,
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Speaker 1: teachers of the law, scribes, priests, high priests, all kinds
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Speaker 1: of people. And they would be on the outside of
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Speaker 1: the crowd because their goal was to trick Jesus and
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Speaker 1: to drive a wedge between he and the crowd so
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Speaker 1: that once they could isolate him, they could arrest him.
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Speaker 1: Because as long as there was a crowd, the religious
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Speaker 1: leaders weren't allowed. But every once in a while, they
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Speaker 1: would work their way to the front of the line
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Speaker 1: and say, Jesus, we have a question for you. And
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Speaker 1: their questions were always trick questions, which makes reading the
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Speaker 1: Gospels fascinating. So on one of these particular days, a
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Speaker 1: couple of guys messaged. made their way to the front
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Speaker 1: of the crowd and they said, Jesus, we have a
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Speaker 1: question for you. Why do your disciples, the folks that
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Speaker 1: follow you most closely, why do your disciples break the
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Speaker 1: tradition of the elders? I'll explain what that is in
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Speaker 1: just a minute. Why don't they wash their hands before
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Speaker 1: they eat? To which we read that and go, certainly Jesus,
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Speaker 1: your parents taught you to wash your hands before that
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Speaker 1: you eat. And certainly your disciples' parents taught them to
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Speaker 1: wash their hands before they eat. So what's up with
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Speaker 1: this wash your hands before you eat? So what they
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Speaker 1: were referring to is this. In the Old Testament law,
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Speaker 1: the high priest and the priest and anybody that was
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Speaker 1: to do sacred work before God had to do certain
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Speaker 1: ceremonial washings to make sure they were always ready to
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Speaker 1: do God's work. Because you did not want to touch
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Speaker 1: something unclean and then do God's work. So your hands
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Speaker 1: had to constantly be clean. Well, over time, and so
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Speaker 1: this was a tradition they had. Well, actually, it was
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Speaker 1: a law they had for the religious leaders, but then
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Speaker 1: they turned it into a tradition for everybody, and they
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Speaker 1: imposed on everybody else this sort of guardrail rule that said,
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Speaker 1: everybody needs to do these ceremonial washings so they don't
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Speaker 1: accidentally touch something unclean, like something dead or blood or
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Speaker 1: something that was off limits to ancient Jewish people. Touch that,
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Speaker 1: and then touch food, and put the food in their mouth.
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Speaker 1: So they said... Everybody needs to do these washings. Well,
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Speaker 1: the law didn't teach that. The law said that, which
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Speaker 1: is for the priest, the high priest, and certain folks
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Speaker 1: that worked at the temple. The priest and high priest
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Speaker 1: came along and said, no, all the Jews had to
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Speaker 1: do it. So this was a tradition, not actually a law.
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Speaker 1: So over time, over time, the temple leaders elevated the
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Speaker 1: importance of this tradition to that of a law. So
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Speaker 1: Jesus wasn't breaking one of the Ten Commandments or one
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Speaker 1: of the laws. He just wasn't paying attention to one
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Speaker 1: of their traditions because they made it up. And Jesus
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Speaker 1: chuckled and thought to himself, are you crazy to bring
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Speaker 1: this up? And he said to them, Jesus replied, okay,
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Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. Why do you actually
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Speaker 1: break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?
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Speaker 1: You're accusing me of breaking a tradition that's not even
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Speaker 1: a command of God. You actually break a command of
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Speaker 1: God in order to protect one of your man-made traditions. Traditions.
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Speaker 1: One example of this, and basically these would be sort
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Speaker 1: of their own guardrails they had established, but in establishing
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Speaker 1: a guardrail, they're actually violating the command of God. I
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Speaker 1: can illustrate it this way. Imagine a father saying to
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Speaker 1: his teenage daughter, do not speak to your mom disrespectfully.
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Speaker 1: Do not speak to your mom disrespectfully. And the teenage
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Speaker 1: daughter goes, okay. In fact, I heard that guardrail series.
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Speaker 1: I think I'm going to set up a guardrail that
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Speaker 1: will keep me from speaking to mom disrespectfully. Oh good,
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Speaker 1: what's that? I'm not going to speak to her at all.
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Speaker 1: That way I won't accidentally speak to her disrespectfully. To
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Speaker 1: which the dad says, but that is being disrespectful. You
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Speaker 1: set up a rule to keep from breaking a rule.
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Speaker 1: It's actually a violation of the rule. Did you follow that?
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Speaker 1: All the dads follow that, I know. Okay, of teenage daughters.
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Speaker 1: so this is what they had done they had come
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Speaker 1: up with a rule because the teenage daughter doesn't even
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Speaker 1: really want to talk to her mom okay so i'm
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Speaker 1: going to set up a rule to keep me from
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Speaker 1: breaking a rule to get to do what i want
10:08
Speaker 1: to anyway so that's what this group had done there
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Speaker 1: were some things in the law that moses had given
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Speaker 1: that they didn't want to keep they didn't want to
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Speaker 1: do that part of the law So they came up
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Speaker 1: with their own rules that would keep them from having
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Speaker 1: to obey God's law. So basically they were breaking the
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Speaker 1: actual law to preserve their traditions. And so Jesus tells
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Speaker 1: them exactly what he's talking about. He said, And then
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Speaker 1: he names one of the top ten. This is like
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Speaker 1: the table of contents for the entire law. And God said,
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Speaker 1: honor your father and your mother, which they all knew
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Speaker 1: that law. But you say that if anyone declares that
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Speaker 1: what might have been used to help their father or
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Speaker 1: mother is devoted to God, they are not to honor
10:51
Speaker 1: their father and their mother with it. Now, his audience
10:54
Speaker 1: knew exactly what he was talking about. We read that
10:57
Speaker 1: and think, we have no idea what you're talking about.
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Speaker 1: So here's what he was talking about. That these religious
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Speaker 1: leaders had come up with a tradition that allowed them
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Speaker 1: to violate the law to honor your father and your mother.
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Speaker 1: Here's what their tradition was. It's pretty crafty. They had
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Speaker 1: this rule that you could just verbally dedicate or give
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Speaker 1: away everything you own. So a moderately wealthy person, very
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Speaker 1: wealthy person, could just say, I dedicate all my belongings
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Speaker 1: to the temple. Everything I own, I now give to
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Speaker 1: the temple. But according to this tradition, you could use
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Speaker 1: what you own to support you and your immediate family
11:28
Speaker 1: as long as you lived. So what they did is
11:31
Speaker 1: they came up with a rule that kept them from
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Speaker 1: being generous because anytime somebody asked them to do something,
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Speaker 1: they could say, uh-uh, no giving while I'm living. There's
11:39
Speaker 1: no giving while I'm living. There's no giving while I'm
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Speaker 1: living because I've already given everything to the temple. Now
11:45
Speaker 1: God allows me to use all this wealth to support
11:47
Speaker 1: me and my immediate family. And so what would happen
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Speaker 1: is their aging parents would would come to them needing help.
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Speaker 1: Imagine in that culture. Imagine, I mean, you think about
11:55
Speaker 1: how quickly we lose our eyesight. I told Sandra years ago,
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Speaker 1: you know, I have terrible, terrible eyesight. And I said,
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Speaker 1: you know, I would have starved by now. I could
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Speaker 1: be neither a hunter or a gatherer. I would not
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Speaker 1: know who the enemy is and who the friends are.
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Speaker 1: And I have to get so close to the fruit
12:10
Speaker 1: to finally pick because my eyes are... So imagine living
12:13
Speaker 1: in a world where, you know, after a certain age,
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Speaker 1: you can barely see. So parents needed the support of
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Speaker 1: their children just like they do now. And so these...
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Speaker 1: religious leaders, their parents would come to them asking for support,
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Speaker 1: get this, and they would say to their parents, oh mom,
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Speaker 1: oh dad, I would love to help you out, but
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Speaker 1: I can't give you anything because I've already dedicated it
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Speaker 1: to God. Jesus, he is having none of that. He says,
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Speaker 1: thus you nullify the word of God for the sake
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Speaker 1: of your stupid, I added that word, your stupid tradition.
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Speaker 1: You hypocrites, you've come up with a rule to keep
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Speaker 1: that allows you to get by with not obeying the
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Speaker 1: overt will of God. Honor your father and your mother. Now,
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Speaker 1: whenever Jesus would end his conversation with you hypocrites, that
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Speaker 1: meant this conversation is over. And all the people in
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Speaker 1: the crowd would cheer because Jesus just made the religious
13:06
Speaker 1: leaders look kind of crazy and there wasn't a whole
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Speaker 1: lot of mercy and a grace coming from them toward
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Speaker 1: the people anyway. So the religious leaders shrink back into
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Speaker 1: the crowd and they shrink back into the crowd kind
13:15
Speaker 1: of going, who came up with that stupid question? I
13:16
Speaker 1: don't know what my, you said it was a good
13:18
Speaker 1: question because they would just humiliate themselves constantly in front
13:21
Speaker 1: of the crowd. So then Jesus, you should read the Gospels.
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Speaker 1: It's fascinating. So then Jesus turns to the crowd because
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Speaker 1: all the religious leaders have walked off for the time being.
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Speaker 1: He says to the crowd, listen to me. I want
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Speaker 1: to make sure you understand what just happened between me
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Speaker 1: and the religious leaders. I want to make sure you're clear.
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Speaker 1: Jesus called the crowd to him and said, listen and understand.
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Speaker 1: And then they're all leaning in. He says, okay, I
13:44
Speaker 1: just want to make this clear. What goes into someone's
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Speaker 1: mouth does not defile them. Because the issue was touching
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Speaker 1: unclean things, touching food, and putting it in your mouth,
13:53
Speaker 1: and they didn't understand germs, obviously, but they had all
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Speaker 1: these cleanliness rules, and it was a big deal what
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Speaker 1: you put in your mouth. And of course, you know,
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Speaker 1: Jewish people even today, there are just certain things they
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Speaker 1: don't eat, and that was the case back then. So
14:04
Speaker 1: Jesus says, I want you to understand something. When you
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Speaker 1: put the wrong thing in your mouth, it does not
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Speaker 1: defile you, and defile you has to do with a
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Speaker 1: person's relationship with God. In other words, what you put
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Speaker 1: in your mouth does not make you unworthy to God.
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Speaker 1: What you put in your mouth does not put you
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Speaker 1: at odds with God. Now this was a brand new idea,
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Speaker 1: brand new idea. But here's the thing to remember when
14:26
Speaker 1: you read the Gospels. Jesus was a hinge between the
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Speaker 1: Old Covenant and the New Covenant, between the Old Testament
14:32
Speaker 1: and the New Testament. Jesus had come to unleash something
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Speaker 1: completely new in the world, but he was born, as
14:38
Speaker 1: Paul says, under the law. So he is a law-abiding
14:42
Speaker 1: Jew who is about to introduce something better than the
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Speaker 1: law that supersedes the law that makes the law of
14:49
Speaker 1: Moses obsolete, like your iPhone 5. It was awesome during
14:52
Speaker 1: the day, but hey, it's obsolete. There's nothing wrong with
14:55
Speaker 1: it then, but something better has come along. Jesus had
14:57
Speaker 1: come along to introduce something better in the world. So
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Speaker 1: throughout his ministry, this is so important, throughout his ministry,
15:02
Speaker 1: he would drop breadcrumbs to let people know something new
15:04
Speaker 1: is coming, something new is coming, something new is coming,
15:07
Speaker 1: something new is coming. So this was a shift. The law,
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Speaker 1: the ancient law of Moses, God's contract with Israel, was
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Speaker 1: all about staying clean. It was all vertical. Is God happy?
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Speaker 1: Is God happy? Is God happy? Let's keep God happy.
15:19
Speaker 1: It was all eye to the sky. And Jesus says
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Speaker 1: that day is coming to an end. What you put
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Speaker 1: in your mouth is no longer going to defile you
15:27
Speaker 1: in the presence of God, but what comes out of
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Speaker 1: your mouth is what defiles you. It's like, okay, wait, wait, wait.
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Speaker 1: So it's what's in here that comes out of here
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Speaker 1: that's the problem. It's not what I put in here
15:39
Speaker 1: is the problem. It's what's already in there that comes
15:41
Speaker 1: out of here that's the problem to which they're thinking,
15:43
Speaker 1: but wait a minute, what comes out of here are words,
15:45
Speaker 1: and that affects people. So you're telling me that God
15:49
Speaker 1: is more bothered, that God is more bothered by how
15:52
Speaker 1: my words impact people than how my actions or my
15:55
Speaker 1: words might directly impact God? That God is more bothered
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Speaker 1: by what we say than what we eat? Now this
16:03
Speaker 1: is new territory. And the conversation ends. So they walk off.
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Speaker 1: So Jesus started with a big crowd and the Pharisees
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Speaker 1: and leaders. Now he's down to the crowd. Now it's
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Speaker 1: down to him and his guys. They're walking off. And
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Speaker 1: Peter comes up to Jesus. He says, hey, um... Of course,
16:16
Speaker 1: I understood exactly what you were saying. But some of
16:19
Speaker 1: the other guys are a little confused. So could you
16:21
Speaker 1: go over that one more time and maybe just go
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Speaker 1: a little slow? I got it, Jesus, I got it.
16:25
Speaker 1: But for the other guys, would you? Because this is
16:29
Speaker 1: so new. I mean, if we understand you correctly, I mean,
16:34
Speaker 1: this is big news. And Jesus turns to his guys,
16:37
Speaker 1: and I think he was having fun with them, honestly.
16:40
Speaker 1: He said this, he said, are you still so dull?
16:43
Speaker 1: Are you still so dumb? Are you not able to
16:45
Speaker 1: follow me? And they're like, follow me. So Jesus gathers
16:49
Speaker 1: his 12. Now he's got the small group. And he says, okay.
16:52
Speaker 1: And he says, I'm going to go slow. I want
16:53
Speaker 1: to make sure you understand this. I'm going to go slow.
16:55
Speaker 1: You tell me if I'm going too fast for you guys. Okay.
16:58
Speaker 1: Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into
17:02
Speaker 1: the stomach? Everybody following me? Like, yeah. And then out
17:07
Speaker 1: of the body. Everybody following me? That's like Jesus, we
17:10
Speaker 1: know that, duh. He's like, I just wanted to make sure,
17:12
Speaker 1: you know, I was not going too fast for you, okay?
17:14
Speaker 1: Into the mouth, into the stomach, out of the body.
17:16
Speaker 1: And they kind of chuckle. And then Jesus gets serious.
17:19
Speaker 1: And he says, but the things that come out of
17:23
Speaker 1: a person's mouth come from the heart. The things that
17:27
Speaker 1: come out of a person's mouth come from inside the person.
17:30
Speaker 1: And he uses the heart as sort of this figure
17:32
Speaker 1: of speech. The things that come out of a person's mouth,
17:35
Speaker 1: they come from the heart. And now he gets real serious.
17:38
Speaker 1: And that's what defiles them. And it's these things, these
17:43
Speaker 1: that defile a person. The thing that puts a person
17:45
Speaker 1: at odds with God is not what goes in. It's
17:48
Speaker 1: what comes out. The thing that puts a person at
17:50
Speaker 1: odds with God is not what they eat, but how
17:53
Speaker 1: their words affect the people that God loves, that words
17:57
Speaker 1: that offend others offend God. I'm telling you, as obvious
18:02
Speaker 1: as that may be to some of us, this was
18:04
Speaker 1: brand new territory. This was a complete reversal of everything
18:08
Speaker 1: they had been brought up to believe, because they had
18:10
Speaker 1: been brought up to believe that priority number one is
18:12
Speaker 1: keep God happy, and you keep God happy by doing
18:15
Speaker 1: certain things, not doing certain things. I mean, if other
18:16
Speaker 1: people aren't happy, too bad. Gotta keep God happy. And
18:20
Speaker 1: then Jesus says this. You ready? If you've been daydreaming
18:23
Speaker 1: or doing something else at home, okay, don't miss this part.
18:25
Speaker 1: This is super important. For, says Jesus, for out of
18:30
Speaker 1: the heart, for out of the heart come evil thoughts. Murder,
18:34
Speaker 1: that's an activity. Adultery, that's an activity. Sexual immorality, that's
18:37
Speaker 1: an activity. Theft, false testimony. Slander. He says from the
18:41
Speaker 1: heart comes all these things that defile a person. Why
18:44
Speaker 1: do these defile people? Because they hurt people. And when
18:46
Speaker 1: you hurt people God loves, you hurt God. And when
18:49
Speaker 1: you offend people that God loves, you offend God. And
18:52
Speaker 1: when you do things that harms other people, it offends God.
18:54
Speaker 1: That's what defiles a person in God's presence. It's not
18:57
Speaker 1: what goes in. It's what comes out and how it
18:59
Speaker 1: affects other people. These, he said, these, these behaviors, these
19:06
Speaker 1: behaviors that impact other people, these horizontal behaviors, these are
19:10
Speaker 1: what defile a person. This is what makes God a
19:15
Speaker 1: little bit upset. So they're going, wait, so what? mistreating
19:21
Speaker 1: other people puts us at odds with God? Not breaking
19:27
Speaker 1: dietary laws and cleanliness laws? Jesus says, no. I want
19:32
Speaker 1: to make sure you know. But eating with unwashed hands
19:35
Speaker 1: does not defile them. Now again, maybe this is the
19:40
Speaker 1: first time you've heard this or maybe you wish you'd
19:42
Speaker 1: grown up in a church that believed this because this
19:44
Speaker 1: is what Jesus taught and it was at odds with
19:46
Speaker 1: the Old Testament and it was at odds with the
19:48
Speaker 1: Jewish leaders who were doing their best to follow the
19:52
Speaker 1: law of Moses. If what harms people offends God and
19:56
Speaker 1: the behavior that harms people that is sourced in our hearts,
20:01
Speaker 1: so if what offends God is what offends people and
20:03
Speaker 1: what offends people comes from our hearts, then we need
20:07
Speaker 1: to guard our hearts. In other words, according to Jesus,
20:12
Speaker 1: our behavior will eventually mirror our hearts. And our hearts
20:15
Speaker 1: will eventually show up in our behavior. But our behavior
20:19
Speaker 1: eventually mirrors our hearts. And what's in our hearts eventually
20:22
Speaker 1: flows out into our behavior. Now, the interesting thing is,
20:25
Speaker 1: you already know this. You may not have thought of
20:27
Speaker 1: it in these terms. But you've seen this. You've seen
20:30
Speaker 1: this in your life. You've seen this in the lives
20:32
Speaker 1: of other people, right? I mean, do you know anybody
20:34
Speaker 1: that blew up a career because of what came out
20:36
Speaker 1: of here? Do you know anybody that burned down a
20:39
Speaker 1: marriage with their tongue? Do you know anybody that alienated
20:42
Speaker 1: their children because of how they behaved in the home?
20:47
Speaker 1: Do you know anybody that destroyed a marriage because of
20:50
Speaker 1: how they behaved outside the home? And some of these
20:54
Speaker 1: very people, in fact, some of us are some of
20:56
Speaker 1: those very people, aren't we? And we look back and think,
20:58
Speaker 1: what was that? Who was I? Where in the world
21:01
Speaker 1: did that come from? So, as we kind of wrap
21:07
Speaker 1: up this series, I want to spend our last few
21:09
Speaker 1: minutes talking about four emotions that should ding your conscience.
21:14
Speaker 1: That when you think these thoughts or feel these feelings,
21:17
Speaker 1: when you think these thoughts or feel these feelings, when
21:19
Speaker 1: your mind starts to go down this trail, it should
21:23
Speaker 1: bother you. It should light up your conscience. It should
21:27
Speaker 1: remind you or it should inform you that you have
21:30
Speaker 1: some work to do. Because if you do not deal
21:35
Speaker 1: with what's on the inside, it eventually makes its way
21:37
Speaker 1: to the outside. And not only do you hurt you,
21:40
Speaker 1: and not only do you hurt perhaps the people you
21:42
Speaker 1: love the most, it's offensive to God. And it's not
21:44
Speaker 1: offensive to God because he's so sensitive and so emotional.
21:48
Speaker 1: It's offensive to God because God loves the people you hurt.
21:51
Speaker 1: And God loves you. And when you love someone, you
21:54
Speaker 1: don't want to see them hurt themselves. And when you
21:55
Speaker 1: love someone, you don't want them to be hurt by
21:57
Speaker 1: someone else. Someone else. So these should tip you off.
22:00
Speaker 1: These are, you can think of it this way. These
22:02
Speaker 1: are like internal tensions that deserve, in fact, I think
22:06
Speaker 1: they demand our attention. So here they are. Four emotions.
22:11
Speaker 1: Guardrails for the heart. Guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. Guilt, anger, greed,
22:15
Speaker 1: and jealousy. Guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. and jealousy. When
22:19
Speaker 1: you identify these, because greed you don't even feel, but
22:23
Speaker 1: you may identify it. When you feel it or identify it,
22:26
Speaker 1: you have work to do. There is something in you
22:29
Speaker 1: that has the potential to create chaos outside of you.
22:34
Speaker 1: Our tendency is to wait until we've said something, to
22:38
Speaker 1: wait until we've done something. That's like putting the guardrail
22:42
Speaker 1: in the danger zone. We want to put the guardrail
22:44
Speaker 1: in the safety zone, which means we start paying attention
22:47
Speaker 1: as soon as there is an internal tension. Guilt says,
22:53
Speaker 1: I owe you. I owe you an apology. I owe
22:56
Speaker 1: you something because I took something from you and you
22:58
Speaker 1: don't know about it. Or maybe you do, but I'm
23:00
Speaker 1: too proud to admit it. Guilt says, I owe you.
23:02
Speaker 1: It leads to walls, inauthenticity, dishonesty. Guilt leads to secret keeping.
23:09
Speaker 1: It leads to creating distance. What's wrong? Nothing. What's wrong? Nothing.
23:11
Speaker 1: What's wrong? Nothing. What's wrong? Nothing. How long are we
23:13
Speaker 1: going to do this? The rest of our marriage. What's wrong? Nothing.
23:15
Speaker 1: What's wrong? Nothing. What's wrong? Nothing. Well, there's something wrong.
23:17
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you because... I'm carrying something
23:20
Speaker 1: and it seeps into our words and it makes its
23:23
Speaker 1: way into our relationships. Anger says, you owe me because
23:27
Speaker 1: you hurt me. You took something from me. You either
23:29
Speaker 1: pay me back or I pay you back. Now, the
23:32
Speaker 1: problem with anger, and we all know this, is that
23:34
Speaker 1: anger leaks inside. Anger is not stationary. Anger is mobile.
23:40
Speaker 1: Anger leaks into our other relationships. Another way of saying
23:44
Speaker 1: it is that anger is never isolated to the relation
23:46
Speaker 1: of origin. That anger is never isolated to the relationship
23:50
Speaker 1: of origin. In other words, you were hurt as a kid.
23:53
Speaker 1: You were hurt in that last job. You were hurt
23:54
Speaker 1: by that last girl. You were hurt when he broke
23:56
Speaker 1: up and the way he broke up and the way
23:58
Speaker 1: you found out. And you're carrying that anger, as Don
24:01
Speaker 1: Henley says, and it'll eat you up inside. Because it's true.
24:05
Speaker 1: But anger says that you owe me. And until you
24:09
Speaker 1: pay me back, I'm going to hold this over you.
24:13
Speaker 1: And I'm going to hold it over anyone who reminds
24:15
Speaker 1: me of you. And long after you're out of my life,
24:20
Speaker 1: I'm still going to hold other people hostage to what
24:22
Speaker 1: you took from me. Greed says I owe me. It's
24:29
Speaker 1: what we talked about last week. So what is greed?
24:30
Speaker 1: Greed is the assumption that it's all for my sake.
24:34
Speaker 1: That's right. Greed is the assumption. It's all from my consumption.
24:38
Speaker 1: So greed is I owe me and I know you're
24:40
Speaker 1: in need and I know there's these people that are
24:41
Speaker 1: struggling and I know that the church has asked and
24:43
Speaker 1: I know that the folks at work are raising money
24:45
Speaker 1: for and as much as my heart goes out to them,
24:49
Speaker 1: my money does not. And as much as I feel
24:52
Speaker 1: sorry for what they're going through, I don't feel so
24:55
Speaker 1: sorry that I'm going to write a check because I
24:59
Speaker 1: owe me. And oh yeah, it's heartbreaking, but when it
25:02
Speaker 1: comes to actually writing that check, when it comes to
25:04
Speaker 1: actually giving that money, there's something, I just, I can't
25:07
Speaker 1: justify it. I hope no one ever discovers how much
25:10
Speaker 1: I have and what I did with what I had
25:11
Speaker 1: as opposed to helping someone else. But it's like, I just,
25:14
Speaker 1: I just, I can't do that. It becomes a filter
25:18
Speaker 1: for all of our decisions. You know what else happens
25:19
Speaker 1: with greed? And this is mainly a guy thing, I think,
25:23
Speaker 1: and maybe it's just because I have heard stories that
25:26
Speaker 1: relate primarily to men when it comes to this. Men,
25:28
Speaker 1: if we're not careful because we like stuff, men, the
25:31
Speaker 1: people in our families, the people closest to us will
25:33
Speaker 1: feel like they're competing with our stuff. They'll feel like
25:38
Speaker 1: the car is actually more important than her or him.
25:42
Speaker 1: That making sure that stays buttoned up and tightened up
25:46
Speaker 1: and locked up and insured. Don't go in there. I'm
25:49
Speaker 1: going to let you look, but kids don't touch. After
25:51
Speaker 1: a while, listen, when your children feel like they're competing
25:54
Speaker 1: with your stuff, you have a greed problem. You do.
25:57
Speaker 1: You say, no, I just like nice stuff. No, you
25:58
Speaker 1: like nice stuff. When you like nice stuff more than
26:00
Speaker 1: you like your children or you like other people, that's
26:02
Speaker 1: an issue. That should bother you. That's like you bumped
26:05
Speaker 1: up against a guardrail. Uh-oh, something needs to be done
26:07
Speaker 1: about that. Come on. We don't want the people we
26:10
Speaker 1: love feeling like they're competing with something we own that
26:14
Speaker 1: eventually we're going to leave behind and they're going to
26:18
Speaker 1: sell it and they're not going to get a good
26:22
Speaker 1: price for it because they don't care because it's just
26:25
Speaker 1: a bad memory, right? Jealousy, life owes me. Somebody got
26:32
Speaker 1: what I deserve. She got who I deserve. He got
26:36
Speaker 1: what I deserve. I was in line for the promotion.
26:38
Speaker 1: They didn't even talk to me. Boom, put her right in.
26:41
Speaker 1: You got somebody else who got what I deserve. Life
26:45
Speaker 1: owes me. And now you don't like them. And now
26:46
Speaker 1: it's almost impossible to be nice to them. You know
26:50
Speaker 1: what else happens with jealousy? This is the ickiest, ickiest,
26:53
Speaker 1: ickiest thing. And when this rises up in me, I mean,
26:56
Speaker 1: I just speak it out loud because I think it
26:58
Speaker 1: is the worst, grossest, I don't know another word I
27:01
Speaker 1: can use in public. This is the best stuff I
27:04
Speaker 1: can think of is when I find myself secretly celebrating
27:09
Speaker 1: someone else's loss or failure. Is there anything worse than that?
27:14
Speaker 1: Is there anything lower than that? If that is in
27:17
Speaker 1: you and if that is in me, that should set
27:19
Speaker 1: off alarm bells in our conscience because it will eventually. leak.
27:26
Speaker 1: So when you feel it, when you see it, you
27:29
Speaker 1: got to address it. When you feel it, when you
27:33
Speaker 1: see it, when you notice it, when somebody else notices
27:35
Speaker 1: it in you, and of course you say, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:38
Speaker 1: But then you walk away going, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
27:40
Speaker 1: I think, yes. In fact, I can't even admit it.
27:43
Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed by it. You got to address it. Now.
27:47
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some suggestions over here in
27:48
Speaker 1: this third column, but before I do, let me just
27:50
Speaker 1: say this real quick. If you're not a Christian, I have,
27:53
Speaker 1: and you already know this, but I just want to
27:54
Speaker 1: make sure you know that I know. I have no
27:57
Speaker 1: right in the world to tell you what to do.
27:58
Speaker 1: And just because Jesus said something doesn't mean you're obligated
28:00
Speaker 1: to do it. You've never signed on as a Jesus follower,
28:02
Speaker 1: so I get that. So if in the midst of
28:04
Speaker 1: this you feel like I'm shaking my fingers saying you
28:06
Speaker 1: need to, I'm really not. For those of us who
28:09
Speaker 1: signed on as Jesus followers, this isn't optional. This is
28:13
Speaker 1: what it means to follow Jesus. I mean, this is 101,
28:17
Speaker 1: but let me just say one more thing if you're
28:19
Speaker 1: not a Christian or you're coming back or you're considering it.
28:22
Speaker 1: What we're about to talk about in the next five
28:24
Speaker 1: and a half minutes is why following Jesus will make
28:28
Speaker 1: your life better and it will make you better at life.
28:31
Speaker 1: Even if you haven't come to the point and never
28:33
Speaker 1: come to the point that you can acknowledge that Jesus
28:35
Speaker 1: is who Jesus claimed he was, following Jesus, the way
28:38
Speaker 1: we're about to talk about, about to talk about. This
28:41
Speaker 1: is why we say following Jesus makes your life better
28:44
Speaker 1: and will make you better at life. It'll make you
28:47
Speaker 1: a better husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend or
28:49
Speaker 1: just friend or employee or employer. It'll just make you
28:52
Speaker 1: a better person. That's why Jesus' invitation was follow me,
28:56
Speaker 1: follow me, follow me. And I'm gonna ask you to
28:58
Speaker 1: do things that don't necessarily make any sense emotionally, but
29:01
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, at the end of
29:03
Speaker 1: the decision, you will experience a freedom and a peace
29:07
Speaker 1: that perhaps you've never ever experienced. So these are four preventative,
29:12
Speaker 1: in a way, heart exercises to keep you out of
29:15
Speaker 1: a ditch, to keep you from going outside the rails.
29:19
Speaker 1: And as I said, they are precisely the opposite of
29:22
Speaker 1: what we feel like doing or want to do. So
29:25
Speaker 1: what do we do with our guilt? These are just
29:28
Speaker 1: four words, is we confess. And not to God. Look
29:31
Speaker 1: up here. He already knows. When you confess to God,
29:36
Speaker 1: God doesn't go, what? Hey! hey, hey, somebody come here.
29:41
Speaker 1: You're not keeping me up to date on what's going on.
29:43
Speaker 1: I had no idea. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Let
29:45
Speaker 1: me write that down. Okay, you do what? Now go slow,
29:47
Speaker 1: because I wasn't paying attention. But this is what you
29:49
Speaker 1: were raised to do. You were raised, come on, you
29:52
Speaker 1: were either raised to tell someone you barely know and
29:54
Speaker 1: never see in your real life or you were told
29:57
Speaker 1: to tell God. The confession that heals and the confession
30:00
Speaker 1: that deals with guilt has to do with confession to
30:03
Speaker 1: somebody who is in your life and ultimately to confess
30:07
Speaker 1: to the person that you hurt and that you stole
30:10
Speaker 1: something from. And it will damage your reputation. That's what
30:14
Speaker 1: guardrails do, minimal damage. It will hopefully temporarily maybe damage
30:18
Speaker 1: your marriage or your relationship with your fiance or your boyfriend.
30:22
Speaker 1: But if it's temporary, then it's minimal damage. That's the
30:24
Speaker 1: nature of a guardrail. It's minimal damage. But the longer
30:28
Speaker 1: you carry that guilt, the longer it eats you up
30:31
Speaker 1: inside and is going to drive you to other behaviors
30:33
Speaker 1: that eventually you're going to either have to confess or
30:35
Speaker 1: somebody's going to find out. Come on, secrets suck the
30:40
Speaker 1: life out of you. And secrets suck the passion and
30:43
Speaker 1: the life out of a relationship. So if you were
30:46
Speaker 1: God and you loved you the way God loves you,
30:49
Speaker 1: what do you think you would say? You would say,
30:51
Speaker 1: come on, let's get rid of that. I want you
30:54
Speaker 1: to confess. And yeah, you're going to have to swallow
30:56
Speaker 1: your pride, but come on, your pride is why you
30:58
Speaker 1: did what you did to begin with. Confess it. And
31:01
Speaker 1: if you don't think you're ready to confess to the
31:02
Speaker 1: person you actually hurt because that's too big of a step,
31:05
Speaker 1: then I would beg you, confess it to someone who
31:09
Speaker 1: is in your life, a trusted friend, somebody in your group,
31:12
Speaker 1: somebody at work, somebody that, they're not a counselor, they're
31:15
Speaker 1: not gonna try to fix it for you, but you
31:17
Speaker 1: need to get it out. And when you get it
31:19
Speaker 1: out and can look at it, chances are you'll take
31:21
Speaker 1: that next step. And eventually you will confess to the
31:24
Speaker 1: person that you hurt. And when you do, look up here,
31:27
Speaker 1: this is important. There will be a measure of chaos
31:31
Speaker 1: out here. But there will be a level and a
31:35
Speaker 1: measure of peace in here. And this will eventually dissipate.
31:40
Speaker 1: And this will eventually be something you work through. But
31:43
Speaker 1: you will have set yourself up for future success by
31:46
Speaker 1: simply doing the difficult work of confessing. Anger, we already
31:51
Speaker 1: know the answer to this. It's forgive. Do you know
31:54
Speaker 1: what forgiveness is? Forgiveness is identifying specifically what was taken
31:58
Speaker 1: from me and deciding you don't owe me anymore. It's
32:01
Speaker 1: not enough to say I had a terrible dad or
32:03
Speaker 1: I had a terrible mom or my boss. Okay, they
32:05
Speaker 1: were terrible, granted. But what did they take from you?
32:08
Speaker 1: What specifically was taken from you? You've got to identify
32:11
Speaker 1: specifically what was taken from you, and then you have
32:13
Speaker 1: to look at it and say, I'm making a decision.
32:15
Speaker 1: You don't owe me this anymore. I'm canceling the debt.
32:19
Speaker 1: That's what forgiveness is. It's canceling a debt, to which
32:20
Speaker 1: we say, I feel like I'm letting them off. You are.
32:25
Speaker 1: That's why I feel so bad. But you're letting somebody
32:28
Speaker 1: else off as well. You. You. Because you're digging up
32:33
Speaker 1: all of this out of your heart and you're saying,
32:35
Speaker 1: I will not be ruled by this anymore. It's not
32:38
Speaker 1: gonna follow me into my next relationship. It's not gonna
32:40
Speaker 1: follow me into my next marriage. It's not gonna impact
32:42
Speaker 1: the way I discipline my kids. I'm done. I am
32:46
Speaker 1: deciding you don't owe me. You are forgiven. And what
32:52
Speaker 1: do we do about greed? We give. We give. We give.
32:56
Speaker 1: We write some big to you checks. You know what
32:59
Speaker 1: a big to you check is? It's a check that's
33:01
Speaker 1: big to you. It may not be big to me.
33:02
Speaker 1: It may not be big to the person behind you.
33:04
Speaker 1: But to you, it's a big check. It may be
33:06
Speaker 1: a huge check compared to me. But to you, it's
33:08
Speaker 1: just a big check. You write some big to you checks.
33:10
Speaker 1: You decide. You don't agree. You're not controlling me anymore.
33:12
Speaker 1: Watch this. I'm writing a check and I'm giving it
33:14
Speaker 1: to this non-profit. And they didn't even ask. Ha, ha, ha.
33:16
Speaker 1: You don't control me anymore. If you want to get serious,
33:20
Speaker 1: find something precious. An object, not a child, okay? Find some,
33:24
Speaker 1: not someone, not someone, a something. Not a someone, a something.
33:28
Speaker 1: You find something precious, like don't touch that, don't go
33:31
Speaker 1: in there, don't get your hands on that. You know,
33:33
Speaker 1: we keep it behind glass, and you sell it, and
33:36
Speaker 1: you give the money away. You go, aha, these objects
33:39
Speaker 1: will not control me anymore. I'm not about stuff that
33:43
Speaker 1: somebody else is going to have to sell. And I'm
33:46
Speaker 1: not against having stuff and I'm not against collecting stuff.
33:49
Speaker 1: But when it becomes the priority over people, you have
33:52
Speaker 1: a greed problem. And you can't continue to be consumed
33:57
Speaker 1: by what isn't even yours to consume. Christians don't trust
34:02
Speaker 1: in riches. We trust in him who richly provides. Now jealousy,
34:09
Speaker 1: we said that life owes me. But if you want
34:11
Speaker 1: to deal with jealousy... You've got to be willing to
34:15
Speaker 1: admit what the real problem is, and it's not that
34:17
Speaker 1: life owes you. At the end of the day, if
34:19
Speaker 1: you're honest, you believe God owes you. This is an
34:25
Speaker 1: issue not between you and your sister-in-law because she married
34:28
Speaker 1: well or because she has something or because she, you know,
34:31
Speaker 1: whatever it was you wanted, now she has it, or
34:33
Speaker 1: your brother-in-law or your roommate because she's kind of moving
34:36
Speaker 1: on with her life and you feel like you're in
34:37
Speaker 1: a cul-de-sac. It really has nothing to do with him.
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Speaker 1: It has to do with what you think God owes
34:42
Speaker 1: you that God didn't give you. Because the truth is, see,
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Speaker 1: life happens, but God takes what happens and makes things
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Speaker 1: happen when we receive what comes our way from his
34:53
Speaker 1: hands and ask him to do with it whatever he pleases.
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Speaker 1: I'll tell you where I've learned that lesson. I've learned
34:58
Speaker 1: that lesson watching Christians suffer. I have watched as many
35:03
Speaker 1: of you as well have watched Christians go through things
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Speaker 1: with family or children or illness or any kind of thing,
35:09
Speaker 1: financial thing, that they really didn't deserve or just because of,
35:12
Speaker 1: just life happens. I mean, there's no explanation. Just stuff happens.
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Speaker 1: And instead of becoming bitter and instead of spending the
35:19
Speaker 1: rest of their life comparing their bad fortune to everybody
35:22
Speaker 1: else's good fortune, somehow they just offer it to God
35:25
Speaker 1: and they are the people I have the most respect
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Speaker 1: for and they are probably the people you have the
35:30
Speaker 1: most respect for. Why? Because they just don't compare. They
35:36
Speaker 1: just receive life from God and say, God, this is
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Speaker 1: what happened. Now what can you do with what happened?
35:43
Speaker 1: The way you respond to jealousy is you begin to celebrate.
35:46
Speaker 1: You begin to celebrate what God has given you. And
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Speaker 1: you begin to celebrate what God has given others. You
35:53
Speaker 1: begin to celebrate what God has given you and you
35:55
Speaker 1: begin to celebrate out loud. Dear Frank, congratulations on the promotion.
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Speaker 1: As you know, I was really hoping to get it,
36:04
Speaker 1: but I am... Happy for you. Love, and then you
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Speaker 1: put it in an envelope, and you say, jealousy, you
36:17
Speaker 1: do not live in my heart any longer. I am
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Speaker 1: genuinely happy for you. You say, well, I don't feel it.
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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if you feel it. You are going
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Speaker 1: to behave your way past these things that have the potential,
36:29
Speaker 1: come on, to pollute our heart and pollute our soul.
36:33
Speaker 1: Who has what you think you deserve? You need to
36:36
Speaker 1: figure out a way to celebrate them out loud. Now,
36:39
Speaker 1: for some of you, you need to do a little
36:41
Speaker 1: bit of some mirror work. You know what I mean?
36:43
Speaker 1: Mirror work is when you look in the mirror and
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Speaker 1: you start talking to these things. Guilt, guilt. You're not
36:48
Speaker 1: living in my heart anymore. I'm confessing. Anger, you're not
36:51
Speaker 1: going to live in my heart anymore. I'm forgiving. Watch this.
36:53
Speaker 1: I'm going to forgive. In fact, I'm going to write
36:55
Speaker 1: a list of all the things that were taken from me.
36:56
Speaker 1: I'm going to put an envelope and decide they don't
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Speaker 1: owe me anymore. Because anger, you're not going to live
36:59
Speaker 1: in my heart anymore. I'm not carting you around from
37:02
Speaker 1: relationship to relationship to relationship to relationship. And greed, I'm
37:05
Speaker 1: going to write some big checks. Greed, I'm going to
37:08
Speaker 1: be almost unhealthily generous until I can become a cheerful giver.
37:12
Speaker 1: Because see, some of you think you've got to be
37:14
Speaker 1: cheerful before you give. That's not true. You give until
37:16
Speaker 1: you become cheerful. If you have to wait until you're cheerful,
37:19
Speaker 1: come on, you're never going to give. Because the cheerfulness
37:22
Speaker 1: of giving is the response to what happens when God
37:25
Speaker 1: opens your hands and your heart. You realize, you know what,
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Speaker 1: I'm actually happier and I have more peace without it
37:33
Speaker 1: than I did clinging to it, protecting it, cleaning it,
37:36
Speaker 1: and insuring it. So there's going to be so much
37:40
Speaker 1: cheer that follows. And then jealousy, you just look in
37:42
Speaker 1: the mirror and say, you know what? She or he
37:44
Speaker 1: or whoever they are, you're not living in my heart anymore.
37:47
Speaker 1: I'm going to celebrate them. I'm going to look for
37:48
Speaker 1: opportunities all day long to celebrate their success. You are
37:51
Speaker 1: not my master. When my kids were a little bitty,
37:57
Speaker 1: you know, last week I told you about the jars.
38:00
Speaker 1: You know, I gave them the three jars. And I
38:03
Speaker 1: just have always wanted, you know, to set my kids
38:06
Speaker 1: up for success. And because of what I do, because
38:08
Speaker 1: being a preacher's kid, I just see things sometimes. a
38:12
Speaker 1: little bit differently. So early on, I wanted my kids,
38:15
Speaker 1: when they were little, to be able to learn to
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Speaker 1: pay attention to what's going on on the inside. Because
38:19
Speaker 1: when we raise kids, I mean, this is true for
38:21
Speaker 1: all of us when we were raised, you know, it's
38:22
Speaker 1: always behavior modification. Stand up, sit up, stand up straight,
38:25
Speaker 1: tell your mom, thank you, do this, do, do, do, do, do, do.
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Speaker 1: It's behavior, behavior, behavior, behavior. And we did a lot
38:30
Speaker 1: of that, of course. But I wanted them to learn
38:32
Speaker 1: to identify what was going on on the inside. So
38:34
Speaker 1: when I would put them to bed at night, I
38:35
Speaker 1: would just place my hand on their chest and I'd say, hey, Andrew,
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Speaker 1: is everything okay in your heart? Anybody hurt your feelings today?
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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with that. Did anybody
38:45
Speaker 1: lie to you today? Andrew, do you feel guilty about anything?
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Speaker 1: did I break a promise? Sometimes parents break promises. Have
38:54
Speaker 1: I broken a promise? I'm just asking them all these questions.
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Speaker 1: I just want to know what's going on on the inside.
38:59
Speaker 1: I want them to learn to process this. So this
39:01
Speaker 1: goes on for year after year after year. Anybody hurt
39:04
Speaker 1: your feelings? Are you mad at anybody? All that stuff.
39:06
Speaker 1: So after years, one night I go to put Allie
39:09
Speaker 1: to bed and I say, Allie, is everything okay in
39:12
Speaker 1: your heart? Yes, Dad. I'm not mad at anybody. Nobody
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Speaker 1: hurt my feelings. You didn't break a promise. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm good.
39:18
Speaker 1: I'm like, good, just... Just checking. And you know what
39:23
Speaker 1: I thought? That's good. She knows the answer. She knows
39:26
Speaker 1: what to look for. She knows what to listen for.
39:27
Speaker 1: She knows what to feel. for. So let me ask
39:30
Speaker 1: you this and we're done. Okay, come on. Is everything
39:33
Speaker 1: okay in your heart? Is everything okay in your heart?
39:39
Speaker 1: Is everything okay in your heart? Is everything okay in
39:42
Speaker 1: your heart? Are you mad at anybody? You've been having
39:45
Speaker 1: the same imaginary conversation with him or her for weeks.
39:49
Speaker 1: Is everything okay in your heart? Are you obsessed? If
39:51
Speaker 1: there's something, every time, in fact, it's hard to even
39:53
Speaker 1: listen today because there's something that just comes front and
39:55
Speaker 1: center and it just churns in your gut. Is everything
39:59
Speaker 1: okay in your heart? Clinging to anything that you know
40:03
Speaker 1: you have hurt some people's feelings over, stuff. Have you recently,
40:08
Speaker 1: even in your heart, celebrated somebody else's failure? Celebrated the
40:12
Speaker 1: fact that life didn't work out for them the way
40:15
Speaker 1: you know they hoped it would work out for them?
40:19
Speaker 1: If so, that's dangerous. Because if it's in there, it's
40:24
Speaker 1: going to come out of there. And it will defile
40:27
Speaker 1: you with God. Not because God is squeamish. Because God
40:32
Speaker 1: loves you and loves the people that your words and
40:35
Speaker 1: actions have the potential to hurt. So, above all else,
40:42
Speaker 1: above all else, above all else, guard your heart. For
40:48
Speaker 1: everything you do flows from it.