Latest / High Five Hot Mess Podcast / We Said We Were Fine… But We Weren’t | Recalibrate, Don’t Restart

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We Said We Were Fine… But We Weren’t | Recalibrate, Don’t Restart · High Five Hot Mess Podcast

• High Five Hot Mess Podcast: So I've been hearing the same sentence a lot, like, I'm OK, I'm fine, it's OK, everything's going to be OK. And you guys, I don't think we are OK. I think we've just gotten really good at telling people we're fine when we are 100 % not. I think a lot of key people are caring way more than they want to admit, and they're smiling through it, they're working through it, they're functioning through it. And it's just, you guys, it's a lot. It's a lot that's going on. And I think that sometimes we just It's not about starting over. It's about recalibrating and it's about just being honest about how life has quietly piled on, right? Like how sometimes we carry the weight and it becomes so normal. We stop noticing it and how maybe dragging it around like a secret is its own poison, right? Like maybe the strongest thing we can do right now is tell the truth about how we're actually doing, right? I mean, that's... That's the hard part. It takes strength to do that. So welcome back to the High Five Hot Mess podcast. I'm Lisa and this is... Lisa? I'm back. So glad that you are back, girl. I missed you so much. I talked to you earlier this week and I was just emotional. I was so excited that you were back. Well, I've been emotional wanting to come back and can't wait counting the days until things felt a little bit more normal to do so. It was a big pivot. Today we're talking about stress, the weird stuff it does to our body. We've been talking about that. but like product betrayals, right? Things that we know are supposed to do stuff that we paid a lot of money to get it to do that stuff and it doesn't, right? And then like, you know, when our plans go sideways, how to kind of like reset, right? And how we can say, okay, so this is no longer working for me. And it's harder for me to carry this around than I thought it would be. And this week, I've been thinking a lot about like, Like, we all know that I'm trying to figure out my calling. I just feel like for the first time in my life, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm like, what am I supposed to be doing? What is my calling? And I don't know. So I've been thinking about a lot when I was a little kid, what I thought I wanted to do when I grew up. So what did you want to do when you were a little kid? You're like, when I grew up, I want to. So I have. always wanted to do something like in fashion or ⁓ whatever that looked like. I don't know if I ever really wanted to be like a fashion designer, but wanted to be in that world ⁓ when I was younger. Then it changed into me wanting to be a wedding planner. And I still actually have a book that ⁓ a mentor had given me a long, long, long, long, long time ago. That said if you could do anything in your life, what would it be? It doesn't have to be in this company. Like what would it be and I wrote in that book I want to be a wedding planner and I remember in the book she Like we all had to like pass it around or whatever. It was like one of those like think tank type Yeah environments. We were just kind of trying to get into like what really drives us. What's our passion and I remember when she handed our books back she had written a little thing in there, like, someday, you when you become a wedding planner, call me, you know? I loved that. So anyway, that's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to be in a creative. think, like, going back, it's just I wanted to be in something, do something creative. Yeah. I just... And what about you? So one, you are doing something creative. It just doesn't look like that right now. Like, you have to come up, you have to use that. creative part of your brain to solve weird problems that people who don't have that creative side of their brain are not going to be able to do it. ⁓ that. you are, you may not, I mean, you do have your own business, but it's also your, your side hustle, your main hustle. I don't want you to feel like you're not living your dream because I think in some weird way you kind of are. But so for me, I'm just going to be honest. So I wanted to be a call girl. Stop Lisa. I swear to God it's true story. like listen, so it was literally I have really been thinking and I was talking to my brother and I was like I just when I was a little kid I never had a goal like I never and he was like yes you did and I'm like what and he was like you wanted to be a call girl. ⁓ my And I was like I did so like you have to remember. Like what kind and like how old were you? was like, it was in the early 70s. It was like the time of Fantasy Island. OK. And like Starsky and Hutch. And there was a lot of call girls on TV and Love Boat. True. And so I was like 10, I think. And I know it does. I know it sound like it's not, I'm not being authentic, but I swear to God I am. Because remember, like the call girls were all glowy and like really pretty feathered hair. They were always in like fur coats. Yeah, they were pretty glamorous. They were very glamorous. I mean, I just thought they were the coolest thing ever. And I wanted to be a call girl. So it's Christmas morning. And I got something that I didn't know what I was supposed to do with it, some toy or something my mom and dad had gotten me. And my grandparents would come every Christmas from Ohio. They're very conservative Ohio farm people. they came. to glamorous Las Vegas, one to here to see their son and see all their grandkids. And I was like kind of perplexed as why Santa, because I think I was still old enough to live in Santa. Like why Santa would bring me this weird thing I didn't know what to do with it. And my grandmother and I have like the faintest outline of her face when I said it, because she was like, well, what did you want? What did you want to be like? What do you want to be when you grow up, Lisa? And I'm like, I want to be a call girl, and I want a fur coat. So really, you wanted the fur coat. I wanted the fur You wanted the fur coat. I think it was really more about the glamorous nice of it. I thought it was very fancy. But speaking of grandparents, I never figured out what I wanted to do. I'm still. trying to figure, I'm reading all these books, I'm like, what do want to do with your life? nothing is ringing a bell, but it did make me, it transitions nicely into this weird story that I have this week. So I have been under a lot of self-imposed pressure, I think speaks to our topic this week of why do we keep doing this to ourselves? I'm my worst critic. I am harder on myself than anybody else. sit there and fantasize about all these horrible things that people are going to say if they don't get exactly what they want from me. And it's dumb. It's all self-imposed. But I was sitting on the couch, and Doug comes up behind me, and he starts to rub my traps because my shoulders are up to my tears. he was like, Lisa, you've got to relax. Roll your shoulders back. And he goes to do the massage. and he gets up to the bottom of my neck and he's like, whoa! And he literally jumps back and he's like, what is that? And I knew immediately it was my little lady hump. I have a lady hump in my lower back and I know that it's a lady hump because my grandmother had a huge Notre Dame, like that guy, a huge hump. It was bigger than her chest. She had such, so I saw that when I was a kid. It was like, that's not gonna be me. So I've spent a lifetime keeping my shoulders back, making sure I stand up straight. But I I still have it. So I start researching on the internet. As we do. Just be like, what is this? What can I do? And I'm thinking, I literally find this thing that it will strap you to a chair and pull you back. Like it literally pulls your shoulders back so as you're working, you're not like doing Yeah, that's the tech neck is what they call it. And the phone neck. And the phone. Yeah. That's not what they call it because it gets even better. So I'm Googling like, what can I do to fix this? What causes this? I hit a gold mine of all of these searches of people looking up and naming it. It's called a buffalo hump. Oh my God. I was like. Okay, like I really needed to feel better about myself, right? But then. I don't know if a buffalo hump did it though. So, it's called a buffalo hump. is a technical name for it. Like your doctors will know what it is if you call it a buffalo hump. And so I start looking up like what causes it? Right. Guess what causes it? What? Stress. ⁓ no. It literally. unresolved stress and drama and tension, like most people get tight shoulders. Me, I get a buffalo hump. Because I'm not resolving what's stressing me out and I'm carrying around all this shit that I'm talking to people about and I'm not just letting it go so it's manifesting in a hump. I know that you have things that are going on with your body through stress. Yeah. So let's talk about that a little bit. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've had to take a few months off ⁓ to take care of some personal things. Yeah. And I think at the beginning of kind of things unraveling, I think I kept trying to stay on top of things. Right. I kept trying to do all the things and and just spreading myself really, really thin. And I think what ended up happening was me having to have, be realistic and sit down and have a conversation with you and say, like, something's got to give. Like I have to figure out, like I couldn't spread my, there was no more of me to give. I wasn't giving anything to anybody. ⁓ Like productive, maybe. And of course I didn't want to let you down. We had just really started this, adventure together. And so I hit the pause button ⁓ on something that I really was excited about. I really was looking forward to. I really wanted to do. And put other people first. Right. Also, ⁓ kind of not really like a certain part ⁓ of my life still felt short. You know, ⁓ and I think that's something that we should probably be really kind to ourself about because I think there's been so many ups and downs. I mean, I think it hasn't all been gloom and doom. There's been some really positive things that have come out of this experience because when things get really rough, you know who shows up for you. Yeah, man. Right. Yep. And you know also who probably has been an imposter in your life. Right. They suck. And I think you can maybe move on to the next step in your life and know that what you're willing to accept in the future and what you're not and who you can count on and who you can't, right? Yeah. So I do think that I've pulled, you know, I've taken that away, but it's taken a toll on me. It's taken a toll on me personally, health-wise. ⁓ And I think at that point, I had to say, OK, stop, like pause. Now I'm falling apart, right? Like why other people are getting better, feeling better, moving on, doing whatever. Yeah. I was then left with feeling awful and ⁓ like I still don't feel great. However, I have to take some time back. I've got I've got to take some. You know, I have got to really reprioritize maybe. You know, because I said such good intention on this year going into this year with such emphasis and excitement and like just vigor, right? Like I was so excited. Pumped, pumped. And now I look back and go, it's almost halfway over. Yeah, it's almost halfway over. And ⁓ again, this is also just a lesson that you can have the best well laid out plan for your life. and have it all mapped out and something can kick you in the teeth. Yeah, man. Right? And it's kind of how we deal with it, react to it, you know, that will be different for everyone. Well, and I think that the conversation that you and I had this week really kind of helped me. when you came to me, so and I think that I want to talk a little bit about the process of when we put things on hold because I had kind of seen that you were how to ⁓ in over your head with commitment. And I was like, are you sure you want to do this? And you're like, no, I want to do this. It's the only thing that brings me joy. I want to do this. It's like, OK, flash forward two weeks. And it's 2 AM, my time, 3 AM your time. And I text you thinking you're not going to be up. You're going to be asleep, even though we both start very early in the morning. And you responded right away. I immediately was like, red flag, like what is going on? And so we are talking just about the sheer weight of like trying to do the podcast and trying to take care of your kid and trying to help your family. And you just buckled. And it was you like letting go of that and talking to me about it. And I was like, okay, this is my chance to help you, like legitimately help you, right? And I was like, okay, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, we're gonna figure it out. We took a break, we took a week where I was trying to figure out all this stuff, talking to my circle. You were free from doing any of this stuff, you could focus on what you needed to. And it was a hard thing because it was the one thing that brought you joy. and you had to fucking let it go. I did. That is not easy. But I want to point out how it freed you. Yeah. Being honest about how what was really going on freed you to go focus on what you needed to focus Yeah, because I wouldn't have made that decision on my own. Yeah. Right? I would have just kept trying to be a little bit to you and a little bit here and a little bit here and a little bit here because I was trying to keep all of the balls. spinning in the air, or the plates spinning in the air. And again, was being honest with, hey, look, I am not sleeping. I am trying to not fall into a place where I can't do anything. You know when they say, when you're on an airplane, they say put your mask on before your child. And I always thought, that is so dumb. Of course I'm to put my oxygen mask on my child first. Of course I'm going to do that. And I never really understood it until like kind of right now. I think I've been putting my oxygen mask on everyone else. Yes. And you're not alone. Yes, I mean, everyone I'm talking to right now is like, well, this horrible catastrophic event happened, but I'm going to go to work. And I'm like, you know, it's one of those things. I just kind of like had a moment this week where I was like, why are we all continuing to do this? This is crazy. We just need to like tell everyone like, hey, I need fucking help. Like I need help, right? you. knew you had a tissue. Yeah, I I got tissues. But then I think that it's not only like. Does it emotionally help you to release it and give that, how someone help you? It's not the weight of the load, it's how you carry it. So I learned that from a fitness instructor, because I was hurting myself working out, but I applied it to life like I always do. And I was like, so what are other ways? So for me, my buffalo hump was like my wake up call. But I'm like, OK, I am not carrying the load. Like pushing down, pushing down, pushing down, and trying to laugh about it and make light of the situation. And you and I had some very specific goals at the beginning of this year that we really like. We went all in on our goals. this podcast was one of them to help us achieve our goals and to leave the world a better place than we found it. I don't think that you have found peace, which is your Not at all. I am, I mean, I don't think I'm happy, but am I blissfully happy like on a yacht in the Mediterranean with all my friends happy? Like, no. Yeah. So I don't, I wanted to be like, do we just do what we do at New Year's and just chuck our goals? And I don't think we chuck our goals. I think we recalibrate, right? Yeah. And I think there was a moment too where I was like, okay, I have to do something to change this loop, right? Because it became a loop of This is my new routine. This is my new normal. I'm just going to be. ⁓ There was a lot of things that were out of my control too. And I want to be honest, I had a choice. Yeah. OK, everybody has a choice of how they show up. And I had a choice. And it's nobody's fault. But I burn at both ends. Somebody told me that one time. Yeah. Like I will burn at both ends, meaning that I will go so all in, so hardcore, so. I have the tiger. That's what Doug says about me all the time. And then all of sudden I'm like, Whoa, I'm flat. can't, like I flat lined, right? Yeah. And so there's a balancing that I need to learn. But I think, you know, it took me more hair falling out, right? No sleep, not eating well. And when I get stressed, I actually gain weight. A lot of people, when they get stressed, they lose weight. I could not eat and I'll gain weight. So it's just, it's super. all over the place, right? It makes me not want to, ⁓ like I'm just not happy with where I was at, right? And I needed to change things. So anyway, we all have our ways to find peace or to find that solace. Some people go for a hike, some people go for a walk, some people get massages, some people go to church. Like there's so many things, like whatever your outlet is. ⁓ And mine is aligning my chakras. And I know that. And I know that when I'm able to do that and make sure that I can get back into that centered space. But it's when you're in that loop, you're not thinking about that every day. You're like, why am I feeling like this? I was in fight or flight for so many days and weeks that you just kind of, you forget. You forget. You forget the things that make you feel whole. And does it last forever? No, you have to keep working on it. That's part of life, right? There's no magic pill. No. Well, mean, if there was, I'd buy it. I mean, me too. And I'd have it Amazon overnighted. But you know, I I spent, I just spent a lot of time like that I honestly didn't have to feeling out of sorts out of, that's what helps me feel at peace and kind of get into a better direction. What do you do when you are feeling that way? So I think that, I mean, we talked a little bit about this, but I try to distract myself. OK. And I usually do that. again, the universe has been very loud and very clear that this is not what I should be doing. But I tried to distract myself. I had a series. went after the board because I don't have a job, really. we haven't really talked about that, but we're working on it. what do I do? This is a huge stress. ⁓ Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, not to TED Talk this, but on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, having a job, having a support system, having a safe place to live, those are all foundational basics to live a happy life, right? So you can't be blissfully happy when you don't have any money and you don't, you know, like you don't have value and you know, it got super dark. And I think rather than sit there and address why. this was all happening and admit and give in to the inability to control any of it. I went after the board like it was my full-time job. I had all these treatments. But listen, the universe was like, nope, nope, nope, stop it, nope. And I went and I had a tie. You had this wonderful reflexology experience. if you guys don't remember, so you had your feet in a ceramic bowl, And was beautiful. And it scrubbed. experience. I'm not exaggerating. My experience is I go to a reflexology place, and they put my feet in a Home Depot bucket. And they put a hose in it. I'm not. Like, I'm not joking. Like, that was my experience. And I paid more for that than you paid for yours. And I was like, OK. And then I went and got a massage. And I hadn't been to this person before. my person, rather than me do what I normally do and book with my person, I was like, I need a massage right now. Like, this is the only thing that, like, kind of like overeating, but over wellness. Yeah. OK. that checks. Yeah. And I go get a massage because I'm just trying to distract myself from my pain and my stress. And it's a guy, which again, I don't care. I keep saying this. don't care. Yeah. But you guys, when I tell you, he was like, we're going to stretch. And I'm like, I don't want to stretch. Because remember, I'm naked. I'm under a sheet and a blanket. Like, when you stretch it, it shows your business a little bit. And ⁓ my god, I don't want to stretch, bro. And he was like, ⁓ I can't. Your hip is locked. which it was, and he's like, we have to stretch it just to try to unlock it. And I was like, okay. The next thing you know, my foot is touching his face. What is happening right now? So uncomfortable. I go try to get a cranial sacral, like again. Which is a beautiful experience. Okay, so not for me, because I booked a 90 minute cranial sacral, which was probably too much, but I didn't know. just was like, I'm gonna remember. It's a means of like, medicating myself, food, wellness stuff. So I was like, So I go, and it's this woman that I expected, like, don't know, butterflies and like sparkle. Because it's very like new agey to me. Or like a doctor. Because in Canada, when you go, a physician does it. So I was like, not what I was expecting from the technician that I had. She was very matter of fact and was there to like, either lift heavy equipment or do a massage. know what I'm saying? And I have not a normal experience. So but then she goes, OK, disrobe and go face down. Like why? OK, but that's they're not working on that part. You can imagine my surprise. Well, like, because I've never had one done right. I'm like, you just need to come. What's more, I live. Come where you need to come. So she did not. do any cranial. She literally was touching my head, patting it. She didn't know what to do with it. So literally, so I had all of these experiences. And then I had this aha moment for me that I was like, OK, wellness burnout. Because not really wellness burnout, but I was trying to like. Well, you were trying to fill the gap. I was trying to fill the emotional gap that I was feeling from losing you, losing my job, struggling with. trying to learn all this new technology and failing wildly with the broadcast. a great job. Well, I was grateful that I was able to have the distraction, my aha moment where I was like, this needs to stop. You are not accomplishing anything, but you're wasting money you don't have, and this is not the path that you're supposed to be going down. And I knew this because I was walking. I was walking in a strip mall going to Athleta, hey, again, to spend money I don't have to try and like medicate myself. And I know lots of us do that, so there's no shame there. And I see that there is this new studio that I was telling you I wanted us to go to when you come to town and we have time because it's like a whole red light therapy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cold plunge and like all this cool Yeah, I want to do that. That's on our board. I was like, And then it said in like a big picture and like a sidewalk banner. and visit our massage robot. And I was like, no. What? So they've included just a robot to do your massages for you? is literally a Or is it a machine? It's a robot with like arms. No. You're just not like laying down like when we, it's not like one of those like massage chairs. No, it is a robot. It is a robot with little like hands and it's like, and I'm like, okay. No. Like what the fuck? What happened to human connection? I'm all about AI. Shout out. I love it to death. for me, that was my like, stop the shenanigans. Because it sounds like they kept getting worse and worse. It just kept getting worse. So that was Megan Perverse literally telling you, take a pause and let's do something different. So without doing that though, how will things look better or different for you ⁓ not trying to throw yourself into wellness? Well, because I think number one, I was honest with everyone around me. How fucked up things are for me right now. I was talking to one of my friends during interviewing her for the pod, Hillary, what the hell? And I was just kind of like going on and on about all this stuff that I'm just fighting with and struggling with and like how I don't understand anything. And she was like, Lisa, she was, do you ever think that maybe the reason the whole lesson here is not that you need to learn how to do a podcast, but that the lesson is that you're learning more in the past two weeks than I've seen you learn in two years? Yeah, I think that was pretty profound. Great job, Hillary. Right. And it was kind of, again, I was like, OK, like, I was honest about how things were really going for me. I let that load go. I was like, okay, I'm not carrying this around with me anymore. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to figure this out overnight. then... And that's actually not like you. Not at all. Because things need to be done yesterday. Yes. An hour ago. Yep. And you want it done right. Yep. Right. And you don't want to be the tech person. Yeah. and you had to just surrender maybe. I kind of just said it is what it is. But I think that the thing that I did differently was I said, okay, so back to our goal setting, right? I was like, I am not unhappy. Like, because I'm very lucky. Yes, I don't really have a job, but I have people trying to get me a job, which is great. And I have a husband who has a job. And as long as I don't go... as long as I don't go blowing a bunch of money on bad spa treatments and massage robots. I think that probably a good idea. I think that, you know, that will be okay, right? And I think that I was able to kind of work through it, but I did something a little differently. One, besides being honest with everybody about my drama, which I think is important, because everyone has it right now, you guys. Like, again, It's one thing, like I know people, especially women, my sister-in-law does it, you do it, Hillary does it, they don't wanna bother you. I don't wanna bother you, I don't wanna make this so negative because you're afraid they're gonna call you, they're gonna just stop calling you. But if you don't find a way to talk about it in a productive way, it's just gonna poison your system and your hair will fall out, right? Your Buffalo Hump will show more and more. You put on 5, 10 pounds and you're not even eating. And you stop looking for solutions. Which I think is important. this week I was like, I'm not throwing my goals out the window because I think they're really good goals. Yeah. But I am good at recalibrate. So I took a note card from our friend Lisa Ryan. I have subliminal messages. I loved your episode. I loved her episodes. I've loved all of them. You guys did such a great job. Everyone is super jealous. wasn't there. Yeah, I mean, but we might bring it back. Right. that was jealous. I already have people that are like, you didn't answer all Hillary's questions. That episode is already out. I hear you. I get it. We're talking about a trilogy for her. Yeah. But I took a no card and I wrote blissfully happy on the front. And then I Lisa Wilson it because I turned it over and was like, how do I get there? And I wrote very specific things. that I needed in order to accomplish those goals. So one is I need to have money. Like, I'm just not somebody who can live small and live without funds. And that's not how you envision your happiness to look, right? So, and- I feel like it cheapens my happiness, but you need the money. But there's a lot of people that their happiness is to go off grid and have less and more simple. yeah, but to you, is not your happiness. I needed to do that. And then the other thing was I needed to accomplish things. Like I am not a happy person unless I'm accomplishing- something that I'm doing. And then I need external validation. That's where it gets real icky. Nobody likes to admit that. But if I win the lottery and can't tell anybody, what good is it? So I needed that external validation. And then I was like, and I just need to be more honest with people about how I'm doing and be more open to hearing about how they're actually doing. Right, so I mean, that's how I recalibrated. So with your goals of being blissfully happy in the middle of what really is an apocalypse, a familial apocalypse, what would you say you Well, my goal was to have peace. Yeah. And I haven't really had that. And I think, again, ⁓ being able to do some just more spiritual treatments over the last few weeks. and kind of getting back into a place of understanding, I know all this stuff. I know what makes me feel better. And so I just need to prioritize that. Yeah, well, and you're doing it already because you're back. And one of the things when we talked, was very, I didn't want you to come back. because I was struggling. I wanted you to come back because you wanted this happiness in your life. Yeah. And you were ready to make room for it. But I think that we both want to say the quiet part out loud that sometimes if you need to take another break because something's going on or I need to take a break, that it's OK. We just need to talk about that. Yeah. I mean, and I agree with that. I think that it's really important that we ⁓ continue to be honest with not only each other, but ourselves, right? The people that are closest around us. Yeah. Because I think we can also get into a place where we're trying to lift others up and we forget again to put on our oxygen mask. So. Yeah, man. But I want to say thank you. mean, I have so much gratitude for all that you have done and and you giving me that space. And I know it was hard on you. I know it didn't help your lady hump. My lady hump is huge. I know it didn't help. I'm have to be strapped to the chair this week when we do Zoom call. ⁓ I know it didn't help. ⁓ But you took one for the team and it helped me. And so I really appreciate that. And I know we're gonna take it day by day, right? So we're gonna. One of the things I learned in my foray with other guest hosts was that the conversation doesn't always fit into the format, right? And so I'm really, you and I had some really solid conversations this week where you gave me permission to be like, okay, well then we'll fix it. We'll figure it out. So I wanna create a place that everything is. consistent for people. I don't want people to live who, because there are people that love our podcast. And I'm so grateful for them. And I want to keep delivering for them, because I think that it's a place they can go. It's part of their letting their weight go. But I don't want to do like, is this the same podcast? Why are they in space? Yeah. So we're going to. We're going to have to ebb and flow and figure it out and find out what our anchors are and keep things as consistent as possible when it fits. maybe every week we don't talk about the board unless we had a great experience. One of the things I do definitely want to talk about is our high five haunt. This week, my high five, I learned how to adjust our color in Riverside FM. What do you mean? So that if you're washed out and I'm super bright. ⁓ because I'm always washed out. it. Really? can move the colors and the, yes. So you can put lighting on. I can put lighting in. can Even though I have a light. It's not as good as your light. yeah, we need to figure that out. That's exciting. It is exciting. High five. High five. That was awesome. That's awesome. This week. So what was your high five this week? Well, you know what this this last week I actually I actually watched some TV I actually took a few days off of my like nice family commitment ⁓ To focus on some other things. Yeah I Started my hair treatments. Yeah, I was a high five. I had a lot of high fives like honestly, I'm so grateful I am so grateful. We'll talk more about the hair treatment next week, because I wanted to do a whole little segment on that, because people have been asking about it. They want to know how it's going. So we'll do a segment on that next week. I just started to get back into life, maybe. That was my high five. I'm so proud of you, dear. Because it's so. Lisa is, for me, if a family member upsets me, I just never talk to them again and move on with my life. Like a limb that's no longer there. And Lisa is very much the opposite. She digs in to make it work. And I know many people out there do that. As I get older, though, I'm kind of like... It's getting harder for me to be that person. It's like, peace out, bitch. See you later, grandma. It's a true story. I'm not making that up It's going be a really hard time. Yeah, but I think it's good. And I'm glad that you had that high five. And I'm so, so glad you're back. Yeah, I'm glad to be back. Some other changes real quick before we close out our episode. So we're going to drop the bonus episode. So you guys, I. I had this vision when we started and part of like letting go and recalibrating is acknowledging that like one, nobody's listening to the bonus episodes because I think us twice a week might be too much. It's too much right now. And I think that it's just, you got to acknowledge it. It doesn't mean we won't come back with like a series or. Like people have asked about a behind the scenes for the podcast series. Doesn't mean we won't come back with that. Yeah. It just means that for right now that we're just going to come out on Thursdays. We're going to be on YouTube at 2 PM Pacific Standard, 5 PM East Coast. on Apple and Spotify in the mornings at 5 AM on Thursday. So if you listen to us, you can listen to us on your commute in. If you watch us, you can watch us in the afternoon. when we come out, but please you guys make sure you comment, you subscribe, because we're learning more and more about what you guys like or don't like through those comments. So it's really important. Other than that, you guys make sure that you drink your water, make sure that you roll the shoulders back so you don't have a lady hulk up to the chair, and high five someone this week. Thanks. Bye.