Latest / Alive, I Guess Podcast / Episode 36 - Personal Rebrand Be Happenin

Transcript

Episode 36 - Personal Rebrand Be Happenin · Alive, I Guess Podcast

0:00
unknown: I live like it.
0:01
SPEAKER_00: I live like it.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna live like it.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna live like it.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna live like it.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: What's good, y'all?
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to your safe space.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, RJ, and this is the Alive I Guess Podcast.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, welcome.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you for joining.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: And if you've been here, welcome back.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you as always.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Y'all know the drill by now.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Make sure y'all are following us on social media at Alive I Guess Podcast.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Email us if you have any inquiries at alive I guesspodcast at gmail.com and hitting that tinyurl.com slash AIGP advice link for all I say this with love submissions.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Today we are going to be discussing personal rebrands.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: As I've mentioned in a couple of episodes at this point, I have been through a number of personal rebrands.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: The biggest one being this actual rebrand with this podcast and this platform.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: And I have understood that, you know, it's not always easy.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot more than what you just see on the surface.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's not received with open arms, but that's okay.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Because that's a that's not on you, that's on them.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna get into all of that today.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: But you already know we gotta do a moment of gratitude.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening today, say something out loud that you are grateful for.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: And if you are watching, drop something below in the comments.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: Today, I am grateful for humor.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: I think everything is funny.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: I will find the humor in everything, and I truly think I am funny as hell.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: You know, not to toot my own horn and not to be playing at all.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm dead ass.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think I'm hilarious.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And you know, the key to well, back when it mattered, the key to my heart was if you were funny or not.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I got me a funny one and that little wife of mine.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: So I am very grateful for my humor, for humor in general.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Speaking of humor, I am just playing with wearing these glasses because um no.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: But all right, let's get into it because personal rebrands be happening.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: So we have talked about the glow up, we've spoken about the shift, we just went over shedding and a couple of episodes ago, and I think all of those things kind of combined and can be added into what goes into a personal rebrand.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Now, a personal rebrand can be deliberate, but it's not necessarily always deliberate.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, in this case, it was something where I was like, I am going to rebrand myself, not necessarily change, but like the way in which I show up, the things that I put out into the world, the ways in which I am being perceived in the world, at least I try to have a brand with that, is very intentional.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: It's not just something that kind of happened, although there were some changes that made it possible for me to show up in this way, but it was something that I did deliberately and intentionally.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Previously, you know, back in like 2021, that's always kind of where I start my rebrand journey of sorts.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, I feel like that version I was drifting into was something that kind of happened unexpectedly and unintentionally.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: But in order to become this person in this personal rebrand, I had to go through that.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: So that was something that I didn't choose necessarily, but it was a version of me that I became.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: And with that unexpected version of myself, I intentionally chose to do this personal rebrand.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't be RJ of the Alive I Guess podcast today if I didn't go through that period, I was gonna say a phase, but it was a period of time where I was going through internal changes and like an internal rebrand.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: So one was definitely something that I kind of moved into unexpectedly, unintentionally, versus one that I chose to do intentionally.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: I touched on it before, but what kind of sparked that initial rebrand was I was living in a time where there was a lot of things stirring up internally about my identity, about my body, and just the ways in which I was moving through the world, I was a year sober and was really reevaluating my life on all levels across the spectrum.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: You know, um, now that I've removed this thing that was hindering me and holding me back from real growth and being a year in this newfound clarity and life and understanding of life, I wanted more.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to continue to develop in ways that I never had before, although I didn't understand in which ways.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was an athlete, didn't have that title anymore.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: I was a partier and a drinker and a socializer, and I took all that away.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: And so I have really had to turn inward and figure out like what's next for me.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's how I went into RJ.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: I moved into top surgery, moved into mental health and therapy, and started getting resources and different things that helped me develop and grow and mature mentally.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: And then that all kind of came to a physical fruition with my appearance, with my clothing, with my hair, um, with losing weight.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: And it really kind of took on this rebrand from an internal and external point of view.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: And then you combine that with losing my job um last year, going through this sort of downtime to figure out what I want next in my life, always having this desire to start this podcast and not necessarily having the time or the belief that I could, the belief in myself, and having the perfect opportunity to do so.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: It gave me the perfect moment to develop and create this personal literal brand, which is myself and this not personality, because who you see is who you get.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: This is who I am off camera.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm just like not as loose with what I say.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Cause in my real life, like I'll say what I want.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: I don't really care how it is landed.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you need to know the truth, you go know the truth.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: But this one's a bit more curated so that I'm more digestible to a greater population, if that makes sense.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And when I was developing the ways in which I wanted to engage online, the ways in which I wanted to discuss harder topics on this platform, I really wanted to be mindful of being sure that I gave my full self, my authentic self, but still stuck to this brand of AIGP.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of how we moved into this rebranding of sorts.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: But it was sparked years ago, over five years ago, when I'm like, you know what?
7:59
SPEAKER_00: I need to do some internal work.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: And I never thought it would turn into this larger rebrand that has become this platform.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: And yes, you know, the rebranding of myself and all the things that kind of went into it.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: I consider myself a whole personally rebranded individual with a personal brand that was inspired by my personal rebrand.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot, but basically, this is a personal rebrand with this personal brand.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: And that takes into account everything that I've dealt with with mental health, style, weight, everything.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: The ways in which I see the world, the ways in which I want to be seen in the world, like it's all kind of a part of it.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Because usually when people hear rebrand, like they think of like a company or like a business, but like rebranding is more than just like a business word.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Like you can outgrow a previous version of yourself or a previous presentation of yourself, and I have done so time and time again.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: One thing I can honestly say is true underneath every personal rebrand and new chapter in my life is that there's always a fear underneath.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's this fear of being judged, fear of being misunderstood, fear of not being accepted by the people that you love or the people that you are trying to bring into your life now.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: There's a fear of being questioned, or fear of people who know you thinking this new version of you is fake or performative.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, I don't want to be seen as like a phony or like a sellout, but this is the new version that I'm becoming.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: And because you're becoming a new version, there's a fear of losing access to people, relationships, opportunities that you had, and that was associated with the old version of you.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: I touched on it before, but when I was drinking, I had a whole different friend group than I do today, because that was the group that I was associated with.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: That life that I was living during that time is who RJ was in that time, and the people around me were the people who fit into that life.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And when I stopped living in this way, it no longer aligned with those individuals.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: And so this new version of me does not have access to those people and therefore does not have access to those places and things and opportunities that I once had.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: It means there is a part of this process that loses approval for some individuals or for some opportunities or some ways of living that give you an escape to behave in certain ways.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: Like there's just fear of change.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: Because change can be very scary.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: You don't know what's on the other side.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: But just because there's fear doesn't mean don't do it.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, if anything, that means you're on the right track.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: Because if you didn't fear it, that means you don't really believe that what you're thinking can happen.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: Because you just would just go with it if you weren't really afraid of it.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: But there's a fear of what if it does work out?
11:31
SPEAKER_00: There's a fear of what if it doesn't work out, but like on the other side of that, what if it does go well?
11:37
SPEAKER_00: What if it does wind up being something incredible?
11:41
SPEAKER_00: So here we are, 2026.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: I've gone through this rebrand, I am almost a year into this new personal rebrand, which is RJ of the Alive, I guess, podcast.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: And there are a couple things that I can say have truly changed.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: How I show up on more of a consistent basis, even when I don't want to, even on days where it's like I'd rather just lean into what's familiar, what I put out, and what is consumed by the world that has to do with me, and who I'm intentionally becoming.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: Zooming into all these areas, how I show up, my energy, my boundaries, things that I don't allow to happen, and things that I don't allow to deter me.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, this is who I am off camera.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: I promise y'all, I'm not putting on this front.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know how to act fate for the sake of nobody.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: So trust me when I tell you who you see is who I really am when these cameras are off.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: Who I allow in my presence, who I am, what I allow to happen in my presence, the energy I allow around me is very intentional.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't play about none of that.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: I don't let anything or anyone with negative energy, negative intention, hidden agendas be around me or those that I love.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: I spent a lot of time letting that shit slide, and it put me in some negative places.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: I see what's on the other side of this.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going back to that way of living.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: And so today, my peace over everything, my safety, the safety and well-being of my mental health over everything.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: I don't care what has to go, I don't care what opportunity gets passed on.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: If it's for me, it'll always be for me.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: It'll always find its way to me.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: And so if it's a no right now, and it's really mine, it'll be back later.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not gonna let you or your negative energy take advantage of me because you think I need this thing more, then I'll allow you to disrespect me or be around me with that negative shit.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: No, that ain't gonna happen.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: So that's one of the biggest things.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: What I put out, this was the newest piece of this personal rebrand.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: I was a very private person before that.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm still private, you know.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of things that I talk about on camera, but there's still a lot of shit that I keep for myself.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Not everything should be put on display.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: But even with my openness, even with my transparency, if I have a negative thought or I feel strongly about something, and I know that isn't necessarily one, the time or place to say it.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: But two, if I'm in a space where I feel very strongly about it, I'm gonna hold on saying it until I'm in a space where I can say it better in a more calm way, in a way that isn't so biased because of how I feel, you know, like I'm really intentional.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm also posting content, you know.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't someone who posted content before.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't someone who spoke on camera before, unless I absolutely had to for other reasons.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: But like I wasn't getting on the camera talking to people, I wasn't putting my business out there intentionally, no, but part of this journey, part of this rebrand, part of being literally a podcaster, especially today, is not only speaking on camera during this show, but getting on social media if you want anybody to know who the fuck you are.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: So that was one of the largest things that I had to overcome.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: I was we were just talking about it on the episode with Dr.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Cornell.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Like that was baby the hurdle.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: I said, damn, I'm really gonna have to get on this camera and just tell my business.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: But now that I'm six plus months in, I've gotten my practice with it, I'm comfortable with it, I understand it's not just divulging all this information that I don't want to tell.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Like there's a way in which you can share yourself with the world.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: And that was the biggest thing I have I've learned along the way.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: But just getting here, the putting out into the world, whoo, it was it was a climb, but we did it.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: And then who I'm becoming, my priorities, my values, my standards.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: These things were already aligned with a person who I wanted to have a high quality of life and be in alignment with the right side of history and having your morals in place with someone who actually cares about individuals, all individuals, like that's someone who I already was.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: But having this platform, committing myself to showing up every single week and putting myself out there for the sake of not only healing myself, but healing somebody out there with these messages, with these episodes that I share.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: It makes me put myself aside on those days where it's like, I really don't want to do all this today.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: I really don't want to record, I really don't want to edit, I don't want to do XYZ that has to do with the platform.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: But I've set this standard now, and this platform has become such a priority to me, and I value it so much, and I value the things that I talk about, and I value people who support the show and watch the show and listen to episodes that in moments where I don't want to do it because I'm only human, it makes me want to show up and go harder and fight through any fatigue.
18:10
SPEAKER_00: Now, I also prioritize my rest and my mental health.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I can't do it.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I gotta put it to the side.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: But because my standards have been set and my priorities are aligned, setting it to the side doesn't mean setting it down.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: It means restructuring, reorganizing, replanning my day or my agenda to make sure my timelines and my deadlines are still met.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: So all these things can be true at once.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: There's just a little bit of shuffling that might have to go in it and into it, but that's a part of holding myself to a high standard and having high values and having my priorities aligned with my goals and my standards.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: In hindsight, when I think about how I got to this point of being someone with a high character, with high values, high standards, priorities, boundaries, protecting my peace.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: It started back with that personal rebrand way back in 2021.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: If I didn't go through that internal shift of becoming this version of myself today, the external shift could never happen.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: I would still be living in the ways in which I was five years ago, six years ago, 10 years ago.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh there's no way I could be in this seat because I could have never got to the mindset that I actually could do this, because I was so tainted by fear and anxiety and just unconscious beliefs and negative talk that I was telling myself every single day.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: I was talking to myself so negatively.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: If anybody would talk to you the ways in which I was talking to myself, you would want to fight that person.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: It was so disrespectful.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: And I was telling myself this, holding myself back.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: And I was telling myself I was doing it to protect myself, but I was really just living negatively.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: And so I never thought I could strive for more, and so I never would strive for more.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: So I would never try and attempt to get a whole new platform, a whole new personal brand that is myself.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: I I would have never gotten to this place.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: So I had to go through that internal work before y'all could even see it on the outside.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: Because some rebrands are loud and visible, others are quiet and invisible, and both are valid, both hold significant weight, and both are significant in your life, in the lives of others, and the impact in which you have on those around you.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: But even though they can impact those around you and they can impact a greater amount of people, the rebranding that you do for yourself should always be solely for yourself first before they can be for anyone else.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: Because if you do anything with the intention of doing it for someone, it's never gonna stick.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Because that root and that real reason, that core, that thing you go back to at the end of the day, has to be strong and it has to hold.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when you place that in an external person or an external source, that can be fleeting.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: A person can leave, a person can change their mind, a person can decide they're not really rocking with you, but you can stick to your guns and stick to what you know and stick to what you love about yourself and commit that to yourself.
21:59
SPEAKER_00: And so.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That is what is always going to last.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, don't matter how much family around you, how many friends you got around you, how much money you got, how much access or influence you have.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, when they close that casket, it's just you.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: All you got is you.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: So you have to do it for you.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Told the story on my sobriety episode, but I've tried getting sober three times.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: This is the third attempt.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: The first one, I was doing it because everyone's saying I got this drinking problem.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let me stop drinking for a little bit.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Get y'all off my back.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: Cool.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: Lasted, what, 40 days?
22:43
SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Next one, okay, having problems at home.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: My family wants me to do it.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do this for y'all.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: So y'all could calm down.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: Everybody relax.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: I can stop drinking.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: See, look, that didn't last.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Wasn't till this last one where I'm like, you know what?
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm noticing a pattern.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm noticing when drinking is involved in my life, my life is on a downhill trajectory.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I don't want that for myself.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: I think if I keep going down this road, I'm gonna fuck around and I'm gonna find out.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want that for me.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: So I need to be a better version for me, so I can be a better version for everyone else.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I did.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And here we are, six and a half years later, still sober, with no intention on stopping.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: Because every day in this new life, I choose me.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: And that's the importance of choosing yourself and doing things for yourself, especially as it pertains to rebrands.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: Because as you're going through the rebrand, there's going to be moments where you get some pushback from people around you, the people who knew you, or just environmental pushback.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: In the rebrand, it takes a while for people to catch up to this new version of you.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: If they ever do catch up, some people want to hold on to the old version of you.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: It's comfortable, it's familiar, it makes them not have to look at themselves.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: They don't want you to change.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to see anyone do better than them, especially if that person is a hater.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, like when I see people doing better, I want to be as good as them or better.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: It makes me want to strive to be better.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: But if you are in a group of people who may not be thriving and you start to thrive, if they're already in a negative space, they're not gonna look at you as inspiration.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna look at you as competition, they're gonna look at you like you're being a fraud.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna look at you through the lens of a fucking hater.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: And they're gonna tell you they wish you well, but they really aren't.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna say little things like, Oh, I saw your little podcast, or, Yeah, I see what you're doing.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's pretty cool.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: Or they're gonna cast their doubt onto you and their fears onto you just because they're afraid to live in their truth.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Or they're afraid to go for their dreams, or they're afraid to put themselves out there, so they tell you that you can't, or maybe they don't say it outright, like, you can't do that.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Because honestly, I have not had anybody tell me, like, you can't do that, but I've noticed, I've noticed people with a little sly shit, people who showed up when shit wasn't looking great, but now that you see some motion, you see some things turning into something, where y'all at?
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Where are y'all at?
25:56
SPEAKER_00: I thought y'all was rocking, I thought y'all were supporting, I thought y'all were so excited.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Not really, and that's okay.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: Because the thing is, which we all know, when you pop, when your rebrand turns into something big, turns into something significant, and other people outside of your usual circle or usual group family-friend setting that you knew outside your normal bubble, when it goes outside of that and you start showing up on other platforms and being known at a greater scale around the world, then they act like they was down the whole time.
26:39
SPEAKER_00: Like they was along the ride the entire time.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: Like I supported you from the beginning.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Now they want to say how they knew you back in the day.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Now they want to say how oh, I remember them when we used to no, no, no, no.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: Because when we were smaller, when I was asking for support in this new personal venture, y'all couldn't see the vision.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: Y'all didn't like the change, y'all didn't like that I was trying to do something for myself.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: Whether that's losing weight, starting a new job, getting a new relationship, having a child, moving, whatever it is you doing, you're always gonna be met with some sort of resistance.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: It's very important that you keep going for you.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: Because you never know how close you are to that next level.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: And you'll never know if you quit.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: So you gotta keep going, which is why you gotta do it for you at the end of the day.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: And your real ones, the people who really love you, your family, your friends, people you didn't even think rocked with you that hard, come out the woodwork, be like, hey, I see what you're doing, I support.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: How can I support?
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Can we collaborate?
27:50
SPEAKER_00: Can I help you on this journey?
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Whatever that journey is, those will last.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: And the ones who aren't supposed to be there, they will fall by the wayside.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: They're not supposed to go with you everywhere.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Not everyone.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: And this is probably the biggest thing I've learned in my life because I am a person who used to try and hold on to everything.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm someone who likes um archiving.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, I used to hang on to like chat messages and screenshots and pictures.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: Like, I used to want to hold on to every sort of connection that I ever had.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: Not everybody can go with you where you're going.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Not everybody is meant to go with you where you're going, meant to go with you to the end, meant to go with you to the next level.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: There are some people I thought I would never ever ever lose connection with.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: And there are some people I never thought we would have connected.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Not everyone's meant to go all the way.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: And so those who aren't meant to go with you will reveal themselves in this new juncture of life, this new chapter, new chapter, this new phase, and they will see themselves out.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: That's just the way it is.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: It sucks.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: You might lose people you never thought you'd lose, but just know it's not for nothing.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Just know those are not people you need in this new phase, in this new chapter, I'm telling you.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: And just know it's gonna be alright, and the people you're gonna gain along the way are worth a dozen of the people that you lost before.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: So don't even trip.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: Now, there will be a temptation to shrink yourself back into who you were, to go back to that old version of you that was easy to put out and deal with the reaction from those around you.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: There's going to be an urge to want to give it up and just call it quits and go back to what you know.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: It's familiar.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: Change is uncomfortable, growth is uncomfortable.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: Anything that grows, anything that changes, there's an adjustment period.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: Whether that is like a bodily change, a physical change, you healing a broken bone, you adjust into a new like wall color in your house, you trying on a new style, you get a new haircut, you start taking medication, everything takes an adjustment period.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: Why do you think this new change of your life, your personal rebranding, ain't gonna have a change or a chance to alter and then have an adjustment period?
30:36
SPEAKER_00: Everything does.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: So when this happens, when you get that feeling of like, I don't know, fight through it.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: You gotta push through it because going back ain't gonna get you nowhere, but where you were.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: So you might as well push through the discomfort, show yourself what you're made of, and trust in the fact that it'll all work out, people will accept you, and you have nothing to worry about because you'll have a choice.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: You can choose the discomfort of being the old version of you and never realizing your full potential, or you can choose this temporary discomfort of growth, of change, of becoming new.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: Which one will you choose?
31:18
SPEAKER_00: I hope it's the discomfort of becoming new.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: But if you don't, you know, hey.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: But what's on the other side of this discomfort is new doors, new opportunities, new ways of living that you never thought were imaginable.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Just a whole new way in which you view life and the way in which you move through life, the things that come into your life on a positive scale, and the things that you lose in life that you no longer need, things that you thought you'd have to hold on to forever, no longer suit you, and open up space to allow in way more abundance, way more blessings, way more life, honestly.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: So we choosing this personal rebrand, and we're gonna sustain this thing all the way through to the end until there's a new one.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: But for now, we're gonna stick to this one and we're gonna keep going.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: And it's not just some like announcement of like I'm rebranding.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, no, you gotta be proven through consistency, through hard work, through showing up every single day for yourself, which will ultimately help those around you and help you show up for those around you.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: But don't do it for no one else, just keep going, don't look back.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: Nothing behind you is worth turning around and going back for.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: You was just back there.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: Why are we looking back there?
32:43
SPEAKER_00: Nothing back there can help us.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: It can help teach us like, hey, we tried this.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: Why are we gonna try this again?
32:50
SPEAKER_00: Nope, let's try something new.
32:51
SPEAKER_00: Like it can be a great tool to help us keep moving forward, but reverting, no, we ain't doing that.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: We don't care about the perspectives, we don't care about the judgment, we don't care about who don't like it because it's a thousand people who do.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: We ain't worried about those who don't.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: My question to y'all that I want to ask you, and you can answer it to yourself if you're listening or respond in the comments, but what version of you are you still performing out of habit and not truth?
33:25
SPEAKER_00: What version of you are you still performing out of habit and not truth?
33:33
SPEAKER_00: So if you on this personal rebrand journey, like I am myself, I'm proud of you.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: This shit is not easy, it's not for the weak.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: If you know, you know, because there's a lot that you lose along this process, but it's also a lot that you gain.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: And everything that you gain is so much more worth all that you lost along the way.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: So when times get tough, when you want to throw in that towel, when you want to just give up and go back and stop trying so hard.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: Remember, reinventing yourself is not betrayal to who you were, it's really like being loyal to who you're becoming.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Because most times rebrands come right after a collapse or a burnout of sorts, and that's because the old version of you couldn't sustain it.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: So why would we go back there?
34:36
SPEAKER_00: We not.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna keep moving on this personal rebrand journey, and we don't care who don't like it, because it ain't even for them, it's for you.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: So keep doing your thing.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: And with that being said, maybe I will keep the glasses.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: Maybe this is a new myth.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: I doubt it.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: My mother ain't going for this.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: So let me quit playing with her because I will get a text about it, but no, for real, keep doing it for you.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm proud of you if you're in this journey, cuz it ain't easy, but you got it.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: It is everybody's favorite part of the show.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: I say this with love.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, if you want to have your submission read, visit the tiny URL link, plug in your info there, and I will read it during one of these episodes.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: My boyfriend's roommate.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, my roommate's boyfriend is a hobosexual.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: He's only with her, so he has a place to stay.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: Damn.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: She talked to me about him being over so much, but he's basically living with us now rent-free.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: I was fine with it at first because as we discussed, it would be occasional.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: But occasional has turned into an everyday thing, and it's starting to piss me off.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: If the rent wasn't so cheap, I'd move out.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: But I didn't get male roommates for a reason, especially those who do not pay rent.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Do I talk to him first or talk to her?
36:17
SPEAKER_00: I say this with love.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: That that is sticky.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, when I was with my ex in college, I wasn't staying with her because I didn't have a place to stay.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: She lived across the street from my school and she always wanted me over.
36:33
SPEAKER_00: So I was always over there, but I very much so had a place like a mile away.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: I could have gone to one.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Two, when I was over there, I'm like, y'all want me to start paying rent, buying groceries, getting stuff around the house?
36:46
SPEAKER_00: She's like, no, don't worry about it.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, do you want me to ask your roommates?
36:51
SPEAKER_00: He's like, no, don't worry about it.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Eventually it turned into a larger conversation.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: They had a problem with it.
36:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, girl, I fucking told you.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: But um, I stopped staying with them because I'm like, I don't want no smoke, and my house is nicer.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: What are we doing?
37:06
SPEAKER_00: I got AC.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: We burning the fuck up in this little ass house.
37:08
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um, so I have been on the other side of that, but I wasn't trifling enough to try and take advantage of the situation, not pay rent, not pay for shit.
37:19
SPEAKER_00: And you already had the conversation with her about him staying occasionally.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: He know good and goddamn well he's staying over there rent-free.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: And he know he ain't helping contribute shit.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: He probably got that PS5 over there, huh?
37:36
SPEAKER_00: He really probably trying to milk the situation.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, things are expensive.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if this man has a job.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if he has other obligations that he has to pay for.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: But what I do know is that ain't your problem.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: If he is living in your house, which it sounds like he is, he needs to contribute.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: And if he cannot contribute, then there needs to be a greater conversation.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Now, if I was in this situation, I would bring it to your roommate first, since she is the roommate.
38:10
SPEAKER_00: See if she addresses it, and there needs to be immediate change.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, get your shit out today.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: And I want to see you occasionally.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: If that don't happen, then I'm bringing y'all together and letting you know, hey, this is what we're gonna do.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: Something's going to give, or this is going to be escalated.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: And then if that don't work, then it's time for you to go and leave them kind of high and dry.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you're on a lease.
38:36
SPEAKER_00: I've seen situations where people have kind of like sublet from people, but that was kind of like college.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how old you are.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, because baby, if I wasn't on that lease, I'm getting out of there tomorrow.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: Y'all gonna figure it out, you know?
38:52
SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna assume you on a lease.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: You gotta do your 30 days, blah blah blah.
38:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, hopefully it don't come to this.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: But if you need to move out, I would look for yet another cheap place to live.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, this man can just get the fuck on back to where he lived.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: If you don't live nowhere, figure it out.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: You are grown.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: But that's your home where you pay rent.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: You shouldn't be uncomfortable, especially not by no man who don't pay for shit, who ain't on the lease.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: That ain't no child.
39:23
SPEAKER_00: So I'll let her, see if she can do something.
39:27
SPEAKER_00: If she don't do nothing, let them know what the deal is.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: If nothing happens from there, remove yourself, let them figure that out.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: Since they want to live together so bad, make it make it so.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: But I hope it don't come to that.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that something gotta give, cause hell no.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: All right, y'all.
39:47
SPEAKER_00: That's it for today's episode.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, make sure y'all are following us on all platforms on social media, hitting the email for all inquiries, and you visiting the tiny URL link to submit for I Say This With Love.
40:02
SPEAKER_00: And you already know I appreciate y'all.
40:05
SPEAKER_00: And as always, I'm RJ.
40:08
SPEAKER_00: This is the Alive I Guess podcast, and I'll see y'all same time next week.