Latest / Sip Happens / Birth Story- Part 3 S2 Episode 10

Transcript

Birth Story- Part 3 S2 Episode 10 · Sip Happens

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I'm Alexandra, I am Lynn, I'm Rose, and this is SIP Happens.
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We wanted to just give you a heads up.
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This podcast is all for fun and entertainment.
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We are sharing our own thoughts and stories, not professional
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advice. So relax, enjoy and don't take
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us too seriously. Let's get this started.
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Welcome to SIP Happens. What's in your cup today?
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All right, Rosie, what's the new cup today?
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I have a prepaid Starbucks caramel macchiato that you gave
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me. Thank you.
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Do you like it? I do like.
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It. I'm surprisingly loving it.
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I'm going to have to add it to my shopping cart.
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Right, it's a cart. Actually, Lynn made me coffee
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Coxon using Nest Cafe because we both love the blonde Nest Cafe
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and it's very strong. So check on No Friends later.
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How about you, Lynn? It's a hazelnut latte that I
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made at home. It's the Nest Cafe blend as
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well, but it's the hazelnut kind that you only find in those
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sticks. They're really good, but I mixed
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it with the regular Nest Cafe Instant Coffee because I do like
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it a stronger as well. And they're a little bit more
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expensive, the sticks. So I kind of stretch them out a
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little bit. So it's not going to be so
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expensive, you know, those $0.20.
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All about saving efficiency. So Oh yeah, I love it.
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All right, guys, let's tackle what this is Part 3 or so.
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I'm in the hot seat and yeah, let's do it.
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So I am wearing my beautiful shirt today because it is May
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18th. It's Haitian flag days.
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So Sapas say to my people, people, happy flag days to my
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friends. All right, birth story.
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Do you want to maybe start with how you found out that you're
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pregnant? So that's still a blur.
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I so I have two babies and I remember Oliver's like
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everything from, you know, beginning to end.
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Mari. I'm still like, when did I find
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out or how? So we're going to skip that a
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little bit because I cannot remember.
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To the to the part that included me.
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So with Omari, well, we were trying, yes.
2:10
Let me paint your picture. It is COVID time, right?
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We're all masked, Nobody's going outside.
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And this was like in February time, my best friend called us,
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my husband and I and told us she was exciting.
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I remembered I was so excited like, Oh my gosh, you know,
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you're pregnant and all the things.
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And we're celebrating, right? Well, comes March and I'm kind
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of, I know the timing, but I don't remember exactly how I
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found out. But I remember taking a
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pregnancy test at some point in March and I took the first Test
2:40
and he was in the class and I took another.
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And then I think later on that day, hubby and I went to get
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something, I don't remember, maybe some food or getting out
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of the house because we're both working from home at that time.
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And I sit in the car like, babe, how would you want to find out
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if you were if we were pregnant? And I'm like, do you want to be
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surprised? Do you want to be a cutesy
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thing? And he's just like, OK.
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And I think I cornered him literally like he was taking a
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shower. And I'm like, it was nothing at
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all like he expected or he voiced.
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But did you show us the stick? For your shit store chick stick
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show. Wait a minute, but my question
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is you preface prefacing, is that the word like you were
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going to tell him or were you asking before knowing you were
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pregnant? I was asking knowing I was
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pregnant, like how to deliver this message OK.
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No dad giveaway. That was not a dad.
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Giveaway. He smelled it.
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He knows it's fine smell. Actually, that was one of the
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biggest giveaway because I remembered again, going back to
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taking a shower. He was using this stupid body
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wash and I was just like, why you keep using that?
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And he's like, you like this? No, I don't.
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It's dunk like I was like, I'm I can't wait to just throw it out.
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Like one day he's not going to know.
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I'm just going to put in the trash.
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Used it up. Yeah, it's.
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Gone. So is that a boy?
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Thing though, did you have that because you had two girls?
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The smell thing was a giveaway for me.
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You did it. I wonder if that's.
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A boy thing strong. It was so strong.
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I was like, no. And then perfumes and chicken
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and there were so many things. OK, so then I found out we're
4:09
pregnant, we're celebrating. We call my friend.
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I'm like, Oh my gosh, we're a month apart and, you know, did
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all the things and going through all the motions of being
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pregnant and I'm reading books like you're Rosie Week
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three-week 5 7, like the ultrasounds and all of the
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beautiful things. But because it was COVID, hubby
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was limited into coming into like or visits.
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So that was different for me because there was a lot of other
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ladies were just sitting there alone going through that and
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coming home or he came or was sitting in the car, go outside
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and telling, hey, you know, this is what happened, but made it
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through baby #1 going back. Well, let's get up ahead, right?
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Every time I go to my ultrasound, Omari put on a show,
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this baby put on a show. He was flipping or moving.
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They had no problem fighting him and his heart rate was so
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strong. Right.
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And I actually remember we did have baby review and I knew in
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my gut it was a boy. I've been praying.
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I'm like, Lord, if I'm having babies, I want my first to be a
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boy because I am all this or 4 and I'm the only girl.
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But I always wanted like I wanted an older brother to look
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up to. So I wish that for myself.
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And I kept saying it and my and hubby was like, no, all the
5:19
signs point to a girl bestie also.
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I thought he was a girl. So sure enough for the baby
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reveal, we waited. My friend Danielle had the cake.
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She got all the information. And when we cut the cake in and
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I saw that and started crying, you know, we're like all
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excited. And so Fast forward to 37.
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Something was right. My mom is in Haiti and my mom is
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like, I'm like 37 weeks is a great time to have your mom come
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over and take care of me. OK, I've been pregnant, it's
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stressful. COVID is better is this is 2021.
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So my mom's coming over. I get a phone and I'm like, mom,
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you're at the airport. She's like, yes, but I can't
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board the plane yet. I was like, what's wrong?
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She's like, well, they're asking me to have the shots and I
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haven't taken it. Long story short, I'm finding
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out my mom is not making it. I took the week off.
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My mom can't make it. She's stuck in Haiti and she has
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to take bull shots in order for her to come and visit.
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I was like, OK, I was going to go to Target anyway.
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I'm like accepting. I'm like, you know what?
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It's it's fine. It's fine.
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At 35 weeks, y'all, I've been telling hubby, pack a bag.
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Let's pack a bag. You just never know.
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This was a Sunday, baby. Just pack.
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We have time. You did not pack a bag.
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You delegated packing a bag to the husband?
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Yeah, but like for his stuff. My bag was ready.
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Yeah, OK, Never mind, we're back.
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Reading you need a bath. So I'm getting off the phone
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with my mom like, OK, I guess I'm going to go to Tarjay
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because again, I would have took the week off was I was supposed
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to go get pick up my mom. We're going to go shopping a
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little bit, come back to the house and finalize some last
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minute baby things. I go to sit on the bed.
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I will never forget. And then all of a sudden I feel
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wet. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm a one
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woman. Did I pee on myself?
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And then I run to the bathroom and I'm like, wow, this is mere,
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it's not stopping. So I called my friend.
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She has two kids. She should know, right?
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And I called her and I'm like, okay, something happened.
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I talked about my mom. She, you know, she's I guess so
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very empathetic. And now my mom is not coming,
7:17
but I can't cry right now. We cannot process because
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something else is happening. So she's like, honey, I'm like,
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no, seven weeks. There is no way.
7:27
My water books is like, yeah, your water broke.
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Mind you, hubby's bag is not ready.
7:32
So hubby works 30 minutes away. And we've talked about like,
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what happens? Like are you going to make it?
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Because in the movie it's immediate.
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Like water broke. You have the baby.
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You cannot miss this, right? People are stuck on the highway
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getting on the airplane. They don't make it.
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This is where my mind going. So I'm not OK.
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I call hubby and I'm like, OK, so don't panic.
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But according to my friend, my water broke.
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I'm about to call doctor, and we should probably head to the
7:58
hospital. Like, how long you gonna make?
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I know I'm talking about it, Sonic.
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How long is it going to take for you to get here?
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And he's like, I'm on my way. And then I started, like, you
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did not come back. Like, he'll tell you.
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Like I started panicking on the phone, like, you're not going to
8:11
make it. And he's like, yes, yes, we got
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this. It's fine.
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We got this. I'm going to be there in a
8:16
minute and we'll go to the hospital.
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I'm like, OK, So I'm walking around packing my husband back,
8:22
dropping droplets of whatever as I'm doing it.
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It's OK. Hey, I called my friend
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Danielle, who's 5-10 minutes away and she comes over and
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she's like, you're water broke. I'm like, Yep.
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She's like, yeah, you're you're getting everything wet.
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I'm like, I don't. It's not happy.
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Again, in the movies, it's a gush.
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It did not stop. Have you made it?
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My friend Danielle took because we have Shih Tzu, the dog.
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So, yeah, that's fine. So she takes, you know, the dog.
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She makes sure we get in the car.
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I'm sitting in the towel. We sing bye to our neighbors.
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OK, we have the baby and this is 11 AM.
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We get to the hospital and I get there, I fill out all the forms
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and they're like, Are you sure? I'm sure.
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Like I'm literally dropping droplets in your little like
9:14
service area here. And so they, they have to page
9:18
somebody from like the woman section and they came in like
9:21
with the wheelchair and had me sit.
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We're just going to check everything is okay, blah blah
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blah. So we go up there and then I get
9:29
up, they change me and they say we have to check to make sure
9:32
that no water broke. This is like this.
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Everything on the chair. Your water broke.
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Yes, I know what I've been. Calling you.
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And then the midwife came in after they checked me and
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everything is fine. They're like in pain.
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I'm like very like little cramps here and there, but I'm fine.
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So I'm going to check how dilated you are on centimeter.
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I was like, mean, that's a long way to go.
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She's like once it's a water, we have 24 hours like safely
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medically, just like we're going to the procedure.
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We have this baby in no time. Guys, this was V longer.
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I'm thinking of you and Lynn sharing off.
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I wondered. I was like, it was 11.
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AMI did not have Omari until 3:00 the next day.
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And I remembered they kept saying, do you want the
10:20
epidural? I'm like, no, I want to be
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strong women. All the people before me did
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this. I'm gonna wait till I'm at 6
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centimeters and I'll take it. I was singing, I was dancing.
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I was, I felt like I was delusional.
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I thought he was just like, can I get you anything?
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And I was like a he's like, you made it to 5 centimeters.
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You good, babe? I was like happy girl.
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And to your point, I did feel like it slipped things down
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because, yes, I was able to eat and relax and I was like baby
10:46
out spending the night here, like what is going on?
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And but I wanted the midwife. I really like to assure me like
10:54
all these different position, the pinot ball, because again,
10:57
this is COVID. All of those things were
10:59
virtual. So there was not a lot of like
11:01
learning how to breastfeed to classes and so forth.
11:03
So I appreciate like how she kind of she's like, it's on your
11:07
time. She worked with me.
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I really enjoy that. It's like, but my shift ends and
11:11
I was like, you're coming back tomorrow, right?
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She's like, yeah, but it depends on when the baby is going to be
11:16
here. I do have somebody else before
11:18
me and he's like it's great, it's fine.
11:20
So he came in the next day and checked and I was like we're not
11:23
coming out, we're coming out when the midwife this is not
11:26
ready. I'm going to hold tight.
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Here we're going to hold and so everything came back up because
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like I said, we ate the first night we got there.
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So the next day they're like coming back with lavender and
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peppermint and I'm like, I don't want anything.
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They're like ice. I don't want it.
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Finally they tried to flip me because I'm on epidural now.
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Yeah, they flipped me and I just.
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And I was like, I feel so much. I'm surprised.
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Well, it was a long stay. So I'm surprised that you eat.
11:51
I thought you couldn't eat anything while you're in labor?
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Also once in a eater, so they're probably.
11:55
She's so cute. She's so cute.
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And yeah, but I felt the baby move and he kept dropping and
12:02
dropping and the nurse comes back and she's like, we'll just
12:05
keep checking on you. If you're in more pain, just
12:07
push this button. So I stopped pressing the button
12:09
because I was like, OK, the more pain I'm feeling, the more he's
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dropping. That tells me he's ready.
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And I was like, we are having this baby on her time.
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The midwife is here, so we're ready for this baby.
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And I took a nap. It was the best nap.
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I took this nap with the pillow under me and I was just like
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gone, right? And I remember waking up.
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I'm like, Oh no, we're ready. She said no, take your time,
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you're OK. We just check.
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I'm not. No, the baby's dropping.
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She said let me check. And then I hear doctor, blah,
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blah, blah, you need to come here now.
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And I promise by the time she said that, I pushed once or
12:40
twice and he was out. They kept saying he has so much
12:45
hair. And I'm looking at my husband
12:46
like, you do not look. They're like, you have so much
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hair. Would you like to see?
12:50
I'm like, no. But I remember when they put him
12:53
on my chest, that was the other thing.
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The head shape was so different. And I'm so thankful I told hubby
13:00
because he was stuck on like, what's wrong with his head?
13:02
I'm like I read it in the books I had not read.
13:05
That in the book I thought there was a problem.
13:07
No, I knew that. Yeah, they had.
13:10
The cone. Shaped up, I thought I.
13:12
Was going to stay that way. Is it OK it makes sense to go
13:15
out like this? Yeah.
13:17
Yeah, it's very small. In hindsight, but it's like, is
13:21
it going to go back and like the position it should be?
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And they're like, yeah, it's fine.
13:25
Yeah, it's fine. That's the least thing you
13:27
should worry about. But yes, he was on me.
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And I remember, wow, I did that and I felt like I was out of it.
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Once I pushed him out, I was done.
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Like I'm exhausted. And then we did the whole pee
13:38
test. I'm like, I would give
13:39
everything. Then I've chatted with you guys.
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His bilirubin would not drop enough for them to release us.
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So I was released and they kept him at the hospital for a week.
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And let me tell you though, if you've gone through that in the
13:52
moment, it was hard. Like I couldn't see past it.
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Like OK, my baby's healthy, my baby's fine, but you're not
13:58
releasing me. And that light did not help
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because we constantly had to keep doing the light and
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dropping people like. But every day he gets older, the
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measure gets better. As long as he meets the
14:09
threshold, you can go home. And that was a whole week.
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I am grateful now because I learned a lot.
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I learned the whole football angle.
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And I thought when the baby came out like he already ate in the
14:21
belly, there's no need for him to be fed for three days because
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my milk was not ready. And no, you've been producing
14:27
milk before this baby got out. I didn't know that.
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So we did formula a little bit as I'm learning through this and
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they have some specialist that comes in and guide you through
14:35
that. So I did both and we were so
14:38
pushed on like he needs to poop. That's the best way to get out
14:41
of the bilirubin. So yeah, we finally did it.
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We came home and we were so excited.
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And I remember us being so stuck on the he poop today.
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What the color and measuring and we had to see the pediatrician
14:53
and the pranking and all of the things.
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But they're like he's not going to remember.
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He has no idea. He is 4 1/2 now.
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No idea. But it's like engraved in my
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mind because at that moment, I remember the I'm stuck here,
15:06
something's wrong, I'm not going home.
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So when we got home, I talked with my mom and she's like, you
15:10
know, take him outside. The son is his best friend.
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I'm like, yeah, but did my Bircham.
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He's a baby and all of the things.
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So I don't know, honestly, I'm just thankful we passed that
15:21
phase to be able to enjoy the process.
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OK, He's home, he's safe, we're OK.
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We're parents and all of that. And yeah, that that was a moral
15:31
story. That's it.
15:33
Yeah. It was like I said, some pieces,
15:36
I forget what meant. The highlight of your first, I
15:38
guess you'll never forget. And you don't.
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Forget this feeling. No, the feeling when you just
15:45
talk about it and you're just right there.
15:47
The joy, anxiety feeling going through that very, very
15:54
impressive time. Yes, and there's a lot, I mean,
15:58
that we didn't talk about when I asked people like you experience
16:02
or can you share it? A lot of people about C-section.
16:05
So every story is so different. Yeah, that it's one of those you
16:09
have to go through the moment and feel it.
16:11
Because my second was the opposite.
16:14
I thought I was having a girl with Omari my first trimester.
16:17
I couldn't have meat. The smell, I couldn't I only
16:20
protein and then your iron level is a little low.
16:22
But with Oliver, yes, my smell came back again.
16:26
So that was a good reminder. But let me back up on that
16:29
because that's How I Met Lynn. Oh yes, I forgot.
16:32
So for anniversary hubby and I, we usually travel around or
16:36
anniversary, which is in September, we went to Puerto
16:38
Rico with Omari. That's another story because he
16:41
was sick, he had handful bounds, okay.
16:44
And that was awful. So we traveled, we came back, we
16:48
survived. And I remember I'm enjoying my
16:50
pina coladas and Omar kept wanting some.
16:53
So toward the end of the trip, I'm not going to drink because
16:56
he's sipping my drink. I'm not going to drink.
16:58
It's fine. I'll have virgin.
16:59
They were still good. OK.
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I come back, I'm exhausted from the trip.
17:03
I did a lot, but I'm tired, hubby.
17:06
I just say 30 minutes. I slept for an hour and a half
17:08
and finally was maybe you caught something and your body's
17:11
fighting it, maybe because it's going to weaken.
17:13
I'm still not OK. And that's around the same time
17:16
you and I were having lunch. That was the first official
17:19
watch, right? She just moved to the
17:20
neighborhood, you know, land by now.
17:22
Very friendly. You know, she's getting to know
17:24
the neighbors. I'm like, sure, I work from
17:26
home. Let's go for lunch.
17:28
So we're sitting there and I really wanted this bok choy.
17:31
Till this date. She knows I love her dog.
17:32
You remember what she said? Go on.
17:34
You're not pregnant. People around me tend to be
17:37
pregnant and I get. Pregnant.
17:38
You know me. You sure you're not pregnant?
17:40
Because I bless people. But yes, and I remember the
17:43
first day who says things like that to a friend and I got home
17:48
and I was like, I need to take a pregnancy test and I did.
17:51
And I was like Lynn, like she did this.
17:54
This already happened. That means in Puerto Rico I was
17:57
already pregnant. And that's how I found out with
17:59
Oliver. But it was so different because
18:00
he was so chill. Remember, Omari was just all
18:03
over the place all the time. I was just exhausted.
18:06
Oliver was the apple so chill. My I was able to eat things.
18:09
He loved fruits just like his brother and just was like
18:13
hanging out. Very kind of shy.
18:15
I don't want you to see me on the ultrasound, but I'm OK.
18:18
My heart is very mellow and I'm like, this is a girl, this is a
18:21
girl. So for my birthday, hubby took
18:23
me down to amateur. There's a restaurant there.
18:27
I can't think of it right now. And I remember we're sitting at
18:30
the bar because I don't want a cake.
18:31
I cannot have a cake to celebrate.
18:33
But we'll go out to dinner and all I wanted was a salad.
18:36
We'll go to the steakhouse and that's all I wanted and I barely
18:39
made it eating and it's OK, we're going to find out because
18:43
I didn't want to do a whole thing by then.
18:45
I don't want to do which is second baby, I guess right.
18:48
But he was sold. No, we've done things for the
18:51
first baby was celebrating all the things right after that for
18:54
dessert. I would like for us to share
18:56
that moment right. So we go.
18:58
I cannot read the darn thing. I don't know if this is just say
19:01
boy or girl. You have to read all the labs.
19:03
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's not ready.
19:05
I didn't realize that to scroll to the right, so I opened it
19:09
again and I'm scrolling all through an boy and he was.
19:12
Are you sure? Yes, it's the feelings are all
19:14
different. But according to the labs, it's
19:16
a boy and I just knew I was looking to name him Oliver and
19:19
he was. Did you think about it?
19:21
Yeah, I that's the name. We have Omari and Oliver because
19:24
he named Omari. And I remember when he told me
19:26
the name he love it. I couldn't stop talking about
19:29
when did you get this name? That's how we named Oliver that
19:32
night, December 10th. That was my birthday.
19:35
Then we walked through and doing all the things and just.
19:37
It was just the perfect moment and we have the best ice cream.
19:40
I, I wanted this ice cream that's again, I had a salad for
19:44
dinner, but I wanted this Jenny's ice cream place.
19:46
It was so good, so good. Are you sure you don't want to
19:49
drive 45 minutes away to go get me that ice cream?
19:51
Well, Target has it, so I'm just saying.
19:54
Did you not have it? Again, while you were pregnant.
19:56
We would make a trip for it. OK, yeah.
19:58
But yeah, that was. I've tried so many different
20:01
flavors, like a birthday cake. So good.
20:03
I want to try this ice cream. But he was very chilled.
20:07
And let's see, I was scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks for
20:11
Oliver because yes, I was 35, OK, 35 December, by January they
20:18
were like your classifieds, I geriatric and all the things
20:22
they need to check and I was like, I have never felt so.
20:25
Old and didn't they think you were diabetic as.
20:27
Well, yes, because I sat down and ate a whole Haitian king the
20:31
night before, the night before my testing.
20:34
I should have probably rescheduled, but I was like, I
20:36
can't see. It's fine.
20:37
No, they were like, no, your sugar is very spiked.
20:42
We need to watch it. But yes, thankfully everybody's
20:45
fine. I knew it was false, but I get
20:47
it. The doctors had to make sure and
20:49
baby's fine. So when I was scheduled to be
20:51
induced and it was nice right Hubby's bag was ready.
20:55
We've learned from the first one. mother-in-law came and
20:58
stayed with the boys, meaning olive bar and food and hubby and
21:02
I went and went to the hospital. It's 7:00 PM when we checked in
21:06
got a suitcase ready to go. I wanted my pillow, same thing.
21:10
And I will never forget the pain started coming through right And
21:13
then I'll be they're like, Are you sure you don't want the
21:15
hubby's like you remember what happened you're ready now.
21:19
OK, fine. You're already strong baby, you
21:22
got this. I took the epidural.
21:25
I don't remember probably 3 or 4 centimeters.
21:27
Same thing happened. They came in they're like only 1
21:30
centimeter down. Great.
21:32
And they did all the thing. They had to pop my water because
21:35
I was just not ready. Like I said, he was just
21:37
chilled. They had to do all the things.
21:39
And again, labor was very, very long and I had him the next day.
21:43
It was shorter than Omari, but same thing.
21:46
I make sure I did not eat. I did my epidural and when I
21:50
went and that could be flipped me, it was another midwife.
21:53
All of the beautiful things. And then it was, I guess magical
21:56
in its own way. The best part was in three days
21:59
you couldn't go home and it was Mother's Day.
22:02
I got to take him home. He was healthy and strong.
22:06
And of course, both of my babies or eggs and my babies, that was
22:09
another thing. I was so adamant going to be
22:11
better, but it's out of my control.
22:13
But you know what? I have two beautiful babies
22:15
right now that are healthy and strong and yeah, it's motherhood
22:21
in terms of even that whole neighbor and pregnancy.
22:23
There's a lot that goes into that that don't talk about stop
22:27
watching movies. Look like the movie.
22:29
Look like the movies at all. I expected it and man was I
22:34
surprised. And even with the second, there
22:36
were a lot of things I anticipated, but that was very
22:38
different. I did not tear, thankfully, so
22:41
my healing was different. But I remembered sitting there.
22:43
Oh, we're going to bring lavender so you can pee until
22:47
you pee and make sure you know it measures to this level.
22:50
You can't be released to go into recovery.
22:53
And I remember sitting there, little way to pee.
22:55
It's going to burn and hurt, but we got to do it.
22:57
Parts of blur for me, I really don't even remember.
23:00
I didn't remember that was a requirement until you guys
23:02
talked. About it and the hardest part
23:04
was having a baby home because Omari didn't understand that we
23:07
were gone. So hubby had to come back home
23:10
and be like, see daddy's home, right?
23:12
And then he had to leave. So I was at the hospital, I got
23:15
this. So we started this whole 5050.
23:18
That makes sense in terms of you handle this baby.
23:21
I got this baby and yes, the hospital coming and checking
23:24
every 15 seconds was no joke. The day I had Omari, I told
23:29
hubby that's the day I stopped sleeping.
23:31
Everything was just gone. There was no napping.
23:33
So yes, it was it was hard because Omari was home.
23:37
It was over the weekend. I went on a Friday and I was
23:40
home on a Sunday, but it was a long weekend where he didn't
23:43
understand that grandma was here and you were not.
23:45
Even though we said, oh, you know, we're having the baby.
23:48
One thing I remembered though, coming home, OK, I haven't seen
23:50
him for three days. We FaceTime, Mommy's OK coming
23:53
home, we took pooch out outside. So we took the little beanie
23:57
that they give out the hospital. And with Omari, we did that,
24:00
too. We had the dog sniff.
24:01
So he sniffed it to know, oh, you know, that's that's your
24:04
baby brother. He had his own moment to sniff
24:07
the little beanie. So when we bought Omari home, we
24:10
had Omari in the car seat on the floor.
24:12
And we just let Pooch come in, like sniff him a little bit and
24:15
be like, this is baby brother. Yeah.
24:18
So we did the same thing with Oliver once Pooch did that
24:20
outside, then I came in, Hubby stayed outside with grandma.
24:24
I came in with Oliver and I had Omari.
24:27
Hold it. This is your baby brother.
24:28
See, mommy has another baby and he was just you OK, mommy, I'm
24:33
OK baby's OK. That's what we did.
24:35
And I don't know where I read that, but I feel that was an
24:38
important step that I got to do. We got to have a little bonding
24:42
time and then that came and then grandma came and everybody came.
24:46
This is part of, you know, this is the family.
24:48
And Puch was excited until the baby start crying.
24:51
But Omari was we did a lot of things prepping him for the
24:54
baby. Did you give him a gift?
24:56
I can't remember if you got him a Big Brother.
24:57
Gift we did. We did get him a gift and I
25:01
totally remember it was one things he was into it.
25:03
Right now he's so into dinosaurs.
25:05
I don't remember when that started, but we did get him a
25:07
gift, like a gift exchange. Oh, look what baby brother got
25:10
you. Yeah, I remember baby brother
25:12
got you. And he was so excited.
25:13
Hadn't heard of that, so that's why I like that's new to me.
25:16
I didn't know that was a thing. But planning I'm taking notes
25:20
for baby #2. It's important.
25:24
Yes, it's important that bonding because it is going to change
25:27
having another baby, the attention and stuff.
25:29
And that's one of the things we also did is divide and conquer,
25:32
especially at the beginning because I'm breastfeeding and
25:34
doing all the things and he's still growing minimum Mari,
25:37
right? So and he still has needs and
25:39
wants to be part of the whole thing.
25:41
Well, we still have a baby and we're catering to.
25:43
So hubby did a great job of you're in charge of Omari.
25:47
I got the baby. So anything Omari needs and I
25:50
can't get to that is your responsibility.
25:52
And that worked well, especially in the beginning with all the
25:55
things we did. But I did get a doula.
25:57
Did I talk about that? I don't think so.
26:00
I learned about postpartum doula and that is a game changer.
26:04
OK, Postpartum doula is beautiful.
26:07
It's somebody that comes to your house.
26:09
You said some hours. I'm very thankful that it was
26:11
provided to me through my work. They paid for it.
26:14
Oh, nice. And they paid it for I believe I
26:16
did it for six, which was nice. So that person came to the house
26:19
doing that night shift. You can choose the time, but we
26:22
chose night shift because hubby was also taking classes online
26:26
and I need the help and I also need sleep and we have a
26:29
toddler. So she came 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM
26:32
and it was beautiful. Yes.
26:33
And I breastfed, so I would pump, put it in the fridge.
26:36
You know, she fed it was, I know I'm like, this is the way to go.
26:41
So those first six weeks are so rough, yes.
26:45
Another note, yes, do that. OK, cool budget for that you.
26:49
Hear about doulas and a lot of people do it during the
26:51
pregnancy and so it's its own, but I knew about doulas at the
26:55
beginning and I wanted to experience it myself and I'm
26:58
thankful I did because I learned so much.
27:00
But if I knew that with Omari, I would have tapped into that too,
27:03
because those first six weeks are brutal.
27:05
Even thinking now about babies and yeah, those first six weeks
27:08
are there are no. Jokes that anything that you
27:10
from your experience that you have made want to pass on to new
27:14
mothers or expecting mothers or mothers that are trying.
27:19
I would say embrace it, embrace the process because I remembered
27:24
with my first anticipating what comes next because I wanted to
27:28
be ahead of it, if that makes sense.
27:29
I wanted I wanted to be ready. But it comes with its own
27:32
challenges and you just learn. There is this instinct that
27:35
kicks in once you're pregnant and become a mom.
27:38
I can't describe it. You just survive all the fungus.
27:41
It's beautiful, it's sweet, it's bitter and sour and all the
27:44
emotions. You just go through that whole
27:46
wave and you just brought life into this world.
27:50
That's just a beautiful thing. And you just, it's OK to step
27:53
back and enjoy that moment. My second thing would be don't
27:56
lose yourself so hard on trying to be the perfect mom.
28:00
There is no such thing as perfection.
28:02
It's OK to take a step, lean on your villages.
28:05
You know your people, lean on to them because you will need them.
28:08
And I'm thinking back in like my mom's time, we grew up in that
28:11
community is like everybody helped in and nowadays with this
28:15
beautiful digital world and stuff, like I don't have any
28:17
family nearby, so I had to rely on friends or hobby a lot
28:21
because we wanted to do our own thing in different ways.
28:23
But when we think about it, my mother-in-law had to help.
28:26
So lean into your families, those people that are willing to
28:29
help, accept those helps because it's great for you mentally as
28:33
well. Don't get caught up into the
28:34
whole drainage of things of perfections or social medias
28:37
doing this and that. Just do our works for you.
28:40
Take care of you now. We want to hear from you.
28:44
Please share any feedback and favorite moments.
28:46
From this episode, follow us on Spotify and Apple, head over to
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28:53
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28:55
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