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13. Tapas: The Transformative Fire of Discipline · Lately with Lexi

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welcome back to through the veil this week we're continuing our
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journey through
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patanjali's yoga sutras and the eight limbs of yoga today we're
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diving into the
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niyama tapas which is the practice of discipline dedication and
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devotion ultimately
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this is the personal transformation that comes from consistent
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commitment to the
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SPEAKER_00: spiritual path
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So tapas invites us to apply more disciplined effort towards
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our own personal
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SPEAKER_00: growth and evolution.
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SPEAKER_00: So the root word top means to burn or to create heat.
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SPEAKER_00: So tapas is literally the fire of practice,
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SPEAKER_00: the heat generated through sustained and dedicated effort that burns away
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SPEAKER_00: impurities and transforms us.
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SPEAKER_00: And in the yoga sutras,
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SPEAKER_00: Patanjali teaches us that through sustained practice and discipline,
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SPEAKER_00: impurities are destroyed.
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SPEAKER_00: And this allows the light of knowledge to illuminate the path
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SPEAKER_00: to self-realization.
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SPEAKER_00: Now, when most people hear the word discipline, they think restriction.
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SPEAKER_00: That's pretty normal, right?
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SPEAKER_00: We think restriction,
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SPEAKER_00: deprivation,
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SPEAKER_00: maybe even punishment,
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SPEAKER_00: but that's not what tapas is all about.
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SPEAKER_00: Tapas is about devotion, right?
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SPEAKER_00: It's about showing up for what matters,
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SPEAKER_00: even when it's hard,
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SPEAKER_00: even when the mind is trying to convince us otherwise.
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This is about choosing the long-term transformation that we
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desire over maybe the
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SPEAKER_00: short-term comfort.
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SPEAKER_00: It's about building the fire within us that fuels us.
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SPEAKER_00: So for me, my parents instilled discipline from a very young age.
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I was holding a tennis racket before,
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honestly,
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I could walk or even talk.
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My grandpa taught me tennis and I played travel volleyball and
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tennis all the way
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SPEAKER_00: through high school.
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SPEAKER_00: And here's what I learned through all of those years of training,
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SPEAKER_00: really early morning practices and
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SPEAKER_00: traveling around throughout the Midwest and being in a lot of different
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SPEAKER_00: tournaments,
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SPEAKER_00: what I learned was that discipline develops self-esteem.
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SPEAKER_00: Every time you show up when you don't feel like it,
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SPEAKER_00: you're building deeper trust within yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: And every time you follow through on a commitment that you've made,
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SPEAKER_00: you're proving to yourself that you're reliable,
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SPEAKER_00: that you can trust you.
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SPEAKER_00: Every time you choose the harder path,
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SPEAKER_00: because it aligns with your values,
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SPEAKER_00: you're strengthening your sense of who you are.
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SPEAKER_00: And that foundation of discipline,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: I personally built it first through sports,
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SPEAKER_00: but that's carried me into every area of my life.
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You know,
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nowadays I find tapas and,
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you know,
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that commitment of discipline in my commitment to
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Well,
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my daily meditation and spiritual practice,
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my daily French practice,
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my writing habit.
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And these aren't things that I do because they're easy or
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always enjoyable.
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SPEAKER_00: They're things that I do because I'm devoted to my growth.
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SPEAKER_00: There's a quote that I love by Jim Rohn,
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and he says that discipline is the bridge between goals and
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accomplishment.
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SPEAKER_00: And it's really true if you think about it.
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SPEAKER_00: You know,
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SPEAKER_00: we can have all of the intentions,
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SPEAKER_00: all of the dreams,
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SPEAKER_00: all of the vision in the world,
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SPEAKER_00: but without discipline,
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SPEAKER_00: without that effort,
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SPEAKER_00: they're kind of just fantasies,
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SPEAKER_00: right?
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SPEAKER_00: Tapas teaches us that transformation requires heat.
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It requires that internal fuel,
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that burn,
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just like gold is,
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you know,
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purified in fire.
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SPEAKER_00: We are refined through consistent application of our disciplined effort.
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SPEAKER_00: So the heat of practice burns away what's not essential,
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SPEAKER_00: what's not serving us,
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SPEAKER_00: what's maybe keeping us small.
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SPEAKER_00: And so the real question is,
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SPEAKER_00: what in your life are you feeling called to cultivate discipline around?
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SPEAKER_00: It might be different now than it was a year ago, and that's okay too.
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The practice of disciplined effort feels almost like
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counter-cultural when you
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SPEAKER_00: think about our modern world today.
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But the truth is nothing meaningful is built without action,
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without discipline,
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right?
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SPEAKER_00: It's needed in this 3D reality that we live in.
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So without discipline,
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we're unlikely to experience depth in relationship,
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right?
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SPEAKER_00: We have to meet it and put effort into it.
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You know,
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we're not going to experience mastery of a skill unless we're
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putting in effort.
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SPEAKER_00: Same thing with our spiritual practices.
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SPEAKER_00: You know,
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SPEAKER_00: if we're not meditating regularly,
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SPEAKER_00: if we're not doing contemplative exercises,
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we're not going to maybe experience deeper calm and contentment
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and spiritual
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SPEAKER_00: awakening,
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SPEAKER_00: right?
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SPEAKER_00: And certainly when it comes to business,
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there's no successful business that's built without some level
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of discipline.
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And it doesn't mean that it's constant and that it's taking
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away from other areas
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SPEAKER_00: of our lives,
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SPEAKER_00: but it's something we have to be mindful of,
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SPEAKER_00: especially as yogis and on this path,
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because it almost feels like a conflict when we think about
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contentment and being
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SPEAKER_00: okay with what is.
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So it's finding this balance and we want to be mindful that
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we're not swinging too
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SPEAKER_00: far in one direction on this totem pole.
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SPEAKER_00: If you imagine,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: like this perfect scale where we have discipline on one side and we have,
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SPEAKER_00: um,
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SPEAKER_00: maybe ease rest on the other side,
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like both are needed and equally nourishing and we don't want
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to be in one for too
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SPEAKER_00: long.
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SPEAKER_00: So we have to find the sustainable disciplined effort.
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SPEAKER_00: So tapas asks us, what are we willing to commit to?
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SPEAKER_00: Even when it's hard, what practice are you devoted to?
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SPEAKER_00: Even when maybe you don't see immediate results,
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SPEAKER_00: most things in life,
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SPEAKER_00: like we're not going to see immediate results.
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SPEAKER_00: What fire are you willing to tend day after day?
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SPEAKER_00: Because you trust the transformation that it's creating.
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SPEAKER_00: There's another quote from Rumi that I love on this topic.
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SPEAKER_00: And Rumi says that the cure for the pain is in the pain.
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So the discomfort that you feel when you're stretching beyond
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your comfort zone,
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SPEAKER_00: that's the heat of tapas.
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SPEAKER_00: That's the fire doing its work.
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SPEAKER_00: Tapas is all about your daily habits and rituals.
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SPEAKER_00: It's in waking up early to meditate.
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SPEAKER_00: It's keeping your commitment to writing,
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SPEAKER_00: to whatever your practice is,
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SPEAKER_00: whatever you're studying,
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SPEAKER_00: even on the days when inspiration doesn't show up.
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SPEAKER_00: It's saying no to things that distract you from your path.
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SPEAKER_00: even when everyone else is maybe saying yes.
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SPEAKER_00: And if we think about this from a more yogic perspective,
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SPEAKER_00: tapas,
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it's not about suffering or forcing yourself to do things that
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you dislike.
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It's about aligning your actions with your highest values and
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then having the
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SPEAKER_00: discipline to follow through.
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SPEAKER_00: It's about keeping and honoring your word.
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SPEAKER_00: It's about recognizing that the discomfort of discipline,
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it's far less painful than the regret of maybe not showing up
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fully for yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: So the days when you least feel like showing up,
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SPEAKER_00: those are often the days when showing up matters the most.
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SPEAKER_00: We hear a
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just before we want to give up right it's not about punishing
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yourself to burn out
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it's about the small daily acts of devotion that compound over
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time so a couple
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reflective prompts you can journal on this week or meditate on
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are these so number
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SPEAKER_00: one where in your life are you lacking discipline
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SPEAKER_00: Where are you choosing short-term comfort over long-term growth?
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SPEAKER_00: Now,
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SPEAKER_00: listen,
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if you might have a really long list here when it comes to
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lacking discipline,
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but remember the key is we're looking at discipline from the
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perspective of what
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SPEAKER_00: are my values?
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SPEAKER_00: Am I living in coherence with the things that I say that I value?
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SPEAKER_00: If not, why not?
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SPEAKER_00: What can we shift so that we are?
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SPEAKER_00: What are things maybe that we think we should be disciplined with,
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SPEAKER_00: but they're not actually aligned with our values or those
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: longer goals that we're working towards,
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SPEAKER_00: uh,
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SPEAKER_00: to what practice or commitment would transform your life.
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If you showed up for it consistently,
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like for me off the bat,
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I know that that's French,
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right?
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Like at a minimum,
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I'm doing 30 minutes of speaking French every single day on my
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best days.
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SPEAKER_00: I'll do an hour, maybe two, but at a minimum,
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I know that that daily consistent commitment is going to help
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me the next time I am
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SPEAKER_00: in France,
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SPEAKER_00: which will be September.
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SPEAKER_00: Three,
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what's one area where you've been waiting to feel motivated
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instead of building the
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SPEAKER_00: discipline to begin?
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SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are waiting for next Monday or the new year or next month.
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SPEAKER_00: Um,
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what is that thing where you are waiting for motivation and how
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can you start to
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SPEAKER_00: generate that fuel,
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SPEAKER_00: that burning desire within yourself now,
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SPEAKER_00: instead of waiting for some time in the future?
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And then lastly,
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four,
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what fire within you needs to be tended,
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even when it's uncomfortable?
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SPEAKER_00: Take your time on these prompts, really sit with them.
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SPEAKER_00: Notice throughout your week when you're avoiding discomfort,
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SPEAKER_00: when maybe you're seeking the easy path,
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SPEAKER_00: when you're choosing distraction over dedication.
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And I want us to explore three different ways that you can
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start to develop a
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consistent practice of discipline and ultimately a deliberate
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commitment to
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SPEAKER_00: yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: So these are three really simple practices.
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SPEAKER_00: The first is
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SPEAKER_00: is creating one non-negotiable daily practice.
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SPEAKER_00: And for me,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: if you hit this non-negotiable 80% of the time,
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SPEAKER_00: like you are hitting that goal,
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SPEAKER_00: right?
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SPEAKER_00: We want to leave room, give ourselves grace, like life happens.
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SPEAKER_00: And if we fall off of a daily habit or non-negotiable,
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SPEAKER_00: we really want to reduce the time in between that we fall off.
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SPEAKER_00: And then when we get back on, right, because life is going to happen.
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SPEAKER_00: And so we want to almost plan for that to happen.
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So a couple ideas for a daily practice,
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maybe it is morning meditation for five minutes.
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If you aren't meditating at all right now,
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start there,
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you know,
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make this
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SPEAKER_00: non-negotiable, so easy to do.
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SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's writing one page in your journal, just free writing.
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Maybe it's 20 minutes of movement,
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yoga,
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a walk,
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or studying something meaningful.
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SPEAKER_00: Next week,
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we're going to talk about self-study and maybe it's something
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outside of your
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SPEAKER_00: spiritual practice,
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SPEAKER_00: like French,
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SPEAKER_00: for example,
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SPEAKER_00: if you're learning a language.
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SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's reading for 15 minutes before bed.
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SPEAKER_00: The key is making this a non-negotiable,
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SPEAKER_00: something that isn't like it's a nice to have,
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SPEAKER_00: you'll do it if you have time or when you feel like it,
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SPEAKER_00: you want to make the sacred commitment to yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: Do it every single day this week,
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SPEAKER_00: even if you don't feel motivated,
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SPEAKER_00: even if it's inconvenient,
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SPEAKER_00: even if it's hard.
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SPEAKER_00: A great example of this is like working out, for example.
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SPEAKER_00: It's rare, right?
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SPEAKER_00: That like we regret a workout or we regret going to a yoga class, right?
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SPEAKER_00: Like typically you always feel better after.
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So it's going to be the same thing with whatever your daily
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non-negotiable is.
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SPEAKER_00: And as you practice, notice any resistance that comes up.
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Notice those inner workings of the mind that's maybe trying to
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talk yourself out of
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SPEAKER_00: it and just witness that and
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SPEAKER_00: And then can you do the thing anyway?
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And that's going to build this greater self-esteem and
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confidence within yourself.
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SPEAKER_00: And you'll build this muscle of integrity and of keeping your word.
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SPEAKER_00: The second practice is embracing discomfort as transformation.
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So we want to really flip our thought process and maybe
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perspective around this
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SPEAKER_00: idea of discipline.
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SPEAKER_00: We want to see it as something supportive, not something that is
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SPEAKER_00: restrictive or like super masculinely driven.
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SPEAKER_00: And whether it's,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: a discomfort that's like physical,
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SPEAKER_00: mental,
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SPEAKER_00: emotional,
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SPEAKER_00: we want to pause before we react.
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And instead of immediately like seeking relief or avoiding the
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thing that we said
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SPEAKER_00: we were going to do,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: ask yourself,
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SPEAKER_00: what is this discomfort teaching me?
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SPEAKER_00: What is being refined in this fire?
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For example,
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maybe it's having a difficult conversation you've been
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avoiding.
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SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: holding a challenging yoga pose for five more breaths when you normally,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: get out of the pose faster than you got into it.
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Maybe it's sitting with an uncomfortable emotion instead of
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numbing it with
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SPEAKER_00: scrolling or with food or with,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: any other distraction of your choosing.
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SPEAKER_00: The heat of tapas burns away what's not serving you,
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but we have to be willing to stay in the fire long enough for
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the transformation to
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SPEAKER_00: occur.
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And then three,
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the last one,
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this is one of my favorites,
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track your consistency.
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SPEAKER_00: You know,
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SPEAKER_00: it feels so good when you can check something off your to-do list,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: get a calendar,
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SPEAKER_00: get a journal.
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SPEAKER_00: Um, I use like a great,
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Uh,
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it's a notepad that I got on Amazon and I've probably bought
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like 10 of them at this point.
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It's a week at a glance calendar and there's a small section
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for habits and I can
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SPEAKER_00: track and I just put an X,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: anytime I accomplish one of my
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And I'll also set a goal for myself for the week of how many
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days I want to do
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SPEAKER_00: something,
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whether it's meditating or hitting a certain step count or
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practicing French,
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any new habit that maybe isn't yet like something you are super
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consistent with,
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SPEAKER_00: but that you want to be.
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SPEAKER_00: Just start to track it.
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SPEAKER_00: You know,
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remember something that the yogis understood through sustained
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practice and
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SPEAKER_00: discipline,
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impurities are destroyed and the light of knowledge can then
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enter and illuminate
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SPEAKER_00: our path.
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SPEAKER_00: So the fire you're tending now through your daily commitments,
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SPEAKER_00: through consistently showing up,
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SPEAKER_00: it is refining you into who you're meant to be.
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SPEAKER_00: And if you think you don't have discipline, listen, you do, right?
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SPEAKER_00: You might not be conscious of what you are disciplined with,
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SPEAKER_00: but I promise you,
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SPEAKER_00: we are all disciplined.
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And when we start bringing more consciousness to the things
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that we have discipline
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SPEAKER_00: around,
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SPEAKER_00: maybe our daily thoughts,
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SPEAKER_00: habits,
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SPEAKER_00: and actions,
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and we can shift them into something that's more supportive of
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the life we're
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SPEAKER_00: creating,
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SPEAKER_00: our entire external reality is
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SPEAKER_00: is going to start to shift around us.
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SPEAKER_00: So it's really,
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really important that we just open up this channel of
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communication with ourselves
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SPEAKER_00: to be honest,
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SPEAKER_00: to see what are we currently disciplined with,
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SPEAKER_00: which of those are serving us,
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SPEAKER_00: which are not.
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And then what are we wanting to create more space to have more
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discipline with?
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SPEAKER_00: And then also maybe most importantly, why?
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why why why why why do we desire discipline in these areas of
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our lives that we say
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are important to us you might find that some of those things
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you don't actually
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really care about and that's okay too i'm a huge fan of setting
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like one new goal a
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quarter or a month so that you're not overloading yourself with
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over committing to
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SPEAKER_00: too many things at once right you want to set yourself up to win
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SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, James clear has a great book on habits.
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SPEAKER_00: Uh, habit stacking is another really quick, easy read.
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SPEAKER_00: And I think it's really related to this concept of discipline.
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SPEAKER_00: You know,
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SPEAKER_00: I'm,
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SPEAKER_00: I also,
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SPEAKER_00: when I lived in Nashville,
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SPEAKER_00: I started taking,
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SPEAKER_00: uh,
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SPEAKER_00: once a week boxing one-on-one,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: private boxing lessons.
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SPEAKER_00: And I remember I was about like two years into this.
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SPEAKER_00: And, uh, one of the other guys in the gym said like, man, you are here.
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SPEAKER_00: every week, like good on you.
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SPEAKER_00: And I remember telling him like, well, I don't know.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm only, I only come in once a week.
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SPEAKER_00: And he was like,
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SPEAKER_00: no,
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SPEAKER_00: but there's people who will come,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: five,
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SPEAKER_00: six days a week for one or two weeks.
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SPEAKER_00: And then we never see them again.
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SPEAKER_00: And he's like,
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SPEAKER_00: but you sure you're all,
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SPEAKER_00: you think you're only coming once a week,
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SPEAKER_00: but like,
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think about where you were when you started versus now and just
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the agility and
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SPEAKER_00: strength and the form that I have developed over a sustainable life.
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SPEAKER_00: Extended practice.
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SPEAKER_00: So in closing,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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just remember there's a profound strength that comes from
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knowing you can rely on
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SPEAKER_00: yourself from knowing that when you make a commitment,
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you follow through from knowing that you have the inner fire to
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keep going,
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SPEAKER_00: even when it's hard.
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SPEAKER_00: That's what discipline builds,
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SPEAKER_00: not just skills or accomplishments,
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SPEAKER_00: but more importantly,
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SPEAKER_00: we're building self-trust.
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SPEAKER_00: We're building self-respect and self-esteem.
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And every time you show up for yourself,
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you're sending a message to your subconscious mind.
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SPEAKER_00: You are saying, I am worthy of my own devotion.
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SPEAKER_00: My growth matters.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: My transformation matters.
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SPEAKER_00: So as you move through this week,
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SPEAKER_00: tend to this inner fire,
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SPEAKER_00: feed it with consistent practice,
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SPEAKER_00: strengthen it with disciplined effort,
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SPEAKER_00: trust,
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SPEAKER_00: trust yourself and trust that the heat is doing its work.
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SPEAKER_00: Even if you can't see the results right now,
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we want to fall in love with the process of discipline and with
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that journey.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: Remember, transformation doesn't happen in comfort.
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SPEAKER_00: It happens in the fire.
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You have everything you need internally within your mind to
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keep that fire burning.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, Aristotle even said, you know, we are what we repeatedly do.
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SPEAKER_00: Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
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SPEAKER_00: This is the gift of tapas.
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SPEAKER_00: This is the transformative power of discipline.
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SPEAKER_00: This is how we refine ourselves into who we're meant to be.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to Through the Veil.
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Next week,
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we are going to explore the practice of self-study,
19:04
one of my favorite topics.
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SPEAKER_00: Make sure you subscribe on Substack, drop any comments over there.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget winter solstice is December 21st.
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SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be leading an in-person workshop in Sarasota, Florida.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Message me or email me for the details.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: And as always,
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SPEAKER_00: if you want to book an energy healing session or a consult,
19:25
SPEAKER_00: all of the links to work with me are below in the show notes.
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SPEAKER_00: Have a beautiful week.
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SPEAKER_00: Practice falling in love with the art, the devotion of discipline.
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SPEAKER_00: You deserve it.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Om, peace.
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SPEAKER_00: Amen.