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Is Your Daughter Growing Up On Schedule? · Raising Daughters

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, friends, such a Jim Jordan. Back here the brand
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: new podcast in a brand new year, and I have
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: three guests here in my studio, I e basement. I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: feel like Wayne's world where they were down in their basement.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: You guys don't even know what Wayne's world is to you.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. So two of them, my guests, are young,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and also my wife who is also sort of young,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and today I had them come these These are two
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: women who are in college. Because we were having a
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: conversation recently about growing up and how the markers for
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I think for adulthood have shifted. Used to be you
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: adulthood met, you would finish your education, you'd get a job,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you'd move out of your house, you'd get married, you'd
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: have kids, and then you were an adult. A lot
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: that happened in your back in the day. I think
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: we're a little bit older than that we went through
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: all that part because my education and years was longer.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: But I think it shifted a lot. I think it's
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: a little bit more hazy, a little bit more confusing today.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: And one of the things we talked about when we
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: were talking recently was how you were talking about how
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: you said you could feel sometimes you said, I feel
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: like my prefunal cortex is growing and I can actually
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: kind of sense it or feel it. Is that true?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: So?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Can I use your names? Or should I make it anonymous?
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: So Lucy is a sophomore halfway through her sophomore year
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: in college, and Chandler is halfway through her freshman year
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: in college, different places, one a state school, one to
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: school in another country as a matter of fact, And
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: my wife is is, it's fifty years out of high
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: school in counting, So tell me what it's like today.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: What do you guys consider to be grown up? Like
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a marker of it, Like if you're an adult, then
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: you would be what.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I think that adulthood. I don't know technically, I know
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: it starts like when you're eighteen, like you become an
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: adult and you're emerging into this like young adulthood. But
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like for me, whenever I think of like
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: when I will be an adult, because I don't feel
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: like an adult right now. I feel like I will
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: be like even beyond college of like married with kids,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: like whenever I start settling down and like, I don't know,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: expanding my life beyond school is when true adulthood like
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: really poems and when I feel like you're still an
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: adult in college. It's it's just a different type of
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: adulthood because I feel like, at least for me, like
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I don't live that far away from home, and like
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I don't I can't see myself growing older every day
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: because it's just how I'm living. So it's like sometimes
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I'll look back on pictures and be like, wow, I
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: do look older, but I I feel old, Like I
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm just in high school, still like trying
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: to figure out the world. And so it's like it's
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: hard because sometimes the argument will be thrown at you
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: of like, well you're an adult, and I'm like, I
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: don't feel like an adult. But then other times like,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: well you're still young. So it's like I don't know
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: where I lie, of like on the adulthood scale. But
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: for me, reaching like true adult, when I'm fully and
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: convinced that I'm an adult, will be when I'm like
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: settling down in my life and being comfortable in like
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: a job and a house or I.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Like future not necessarily family kids, just settled as an adult.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: It's a job and living on your own. Yes, Okay,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: how about you.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I see like adulthood as more like self sufficient self sufficiency.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Like right now, like I don't really feel.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Like an adult because like even when I'm living like
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: far away and like on my own, like I still
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: call up my mom and dad when I have like
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: a convenience, So it's like I'm still like very like
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: dependent on them, and like they're sending me to college
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: and like all these things. So it's I'm half I'm independent,
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: but I'm also still dependent on them. And I think
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: there is a part about like being in like an
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: education system that makes you not not part of adulthood
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: yet because.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: You're not in the workforce, you're not doing that.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Doesn't mean that you're not like ma, sure, but I
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: just feel like adulthood is when you're working and you're settled,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: like she was saying so stated, I feel like I'll
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: feel like an adult when I start filing my own taxes.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when I know how to do money.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not an adults to well. I also, well
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: that's confusing for me though, because I think I see
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: a lot of young adults who are who face their
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: education and they're still living at home and they don't
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: have like a real quote unquote a real job, like
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: they're lifetime job. I mean, your lifetime job can change
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of times. But it's like like they're a
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: barista or something. This is like it's like a holdover
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: job until I grow up, until I get serious a hard.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Time, and they're not quite self sufficient.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: So MU sure if that delays people feel like they're
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: adults because they they're not really really self sufficient yet
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: because they might still be live with their parents, they're
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: relying on their parents a lot, and or they don't
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: really have a job yet and a real life direction.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I think you can like feel grown and still feel dependent.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: So it's like where does the line of adult book
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: fall within that length balance?
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: I would say, like you said, but a lot of
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: young people, my guess is as soon as their parents say, okay,
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: you're on your own, not paying your cell phone, not
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: paying your gas, being your insurance, this is it, and
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: then you're like wake up, like, whoa, I'm adulting. Yeah,
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: you know, that's what I've heard a lot of young
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: people say.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: For me, I think back in the day, it was
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: when I became a nurse, big job because I was
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: responsible for other people, you know, and so that was
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: kind of like WHOA. And I also got a pay check,
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: and I also got married at the same time, so
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I had a lot of all those things made me
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: feel like, Okay, I'm an adun't know, yes, I still
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: feel like twenty yeah, but I feel I think I'm
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: an adult now.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I also think maybe I know you guys through camps,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: so you guys are maybe perhaps more self aware than
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: most people your age. But I don't think i'd ever
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: sat down thought when I was twenty or twenty six
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I'm an adult now. I don't know if it was
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: just too busy in medical school and residence and all that.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I never really, I don't know, never really thought about it.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm not sure if your generation
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: is more thoughtful in that way.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: I've never I wouldn't say I've ever sat down in like,
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: oh I'm an adult. I think the moments that I've
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: had it would be oh, I can make my own
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: choices now. But it was never a feeling of like
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: the word adult. I don't know if that's just because
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: that's not what came to mind. Yeah, but there was
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: definitely a sensation of like freedom, especially with like going
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: out to college.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel like I felt more like old
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: and mature and adultish when I was like getting my
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: license for the first time, which I know is like
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: even before you become an adult. But like between like
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: my eighteenth birthday when I actually became an adult, versus
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: when I got my license for the first time and
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: was able to just do something on my own, it
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: feels so like different because I feel like when you
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: are making your own decisions in your life, and like
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: it's decisions that will affect the way that you live,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: it's like it's like that's the moment where it's like, okay, wait,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I'm adulting, Like I don't know when I have to
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: do something for school or do something for like work.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Now I'm like, okay, I'm adulting, Like I can do
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: this for a little But I just still don't resonate
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  Speaker 2: with the title that I am an adult, Like I'm
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: not there yet.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Also, like essentially, like growing up throughout life, everything that
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: you do is training you for adulthood, and so I
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: feel like you're constantly grasping new markers of adulthood, but
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: you're not fully labeled an adult until like society tells
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: you you're an adult.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Could feel like one earlier, or you could not feel
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: like you're when society.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Tells you you.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I wondered too as I was thinking about this, when
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: you look at the adults around you, how does that
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: affect your vision of becoming an adult? Does it make
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: you like I can't wait? Does it make you afraid?
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Does it make you just curious? When you look at
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: the adults in the adult world around you, how does
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that affect your vision of becoming an adult?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I think it's terrifying, because, like, I look at the
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: adults around me who have worked a job since the
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: day they got out of college and have had the
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: same job for forty fifty years, Like it's crazy to me.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: How Like I feel like there's so much pressure to
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: choose correctly. You got to choose your major correctly, and
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: choose your life packed correctly, and choose where you want
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: to end up for life so early. And I'm like,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: it always seems like that. But then you look a
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: little deeper and you realize that your parents have changed
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: jobs like a few times, and it hasn't always been
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: like this, and they've gotten promoted and moved like areas,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: so it's not always a straightforward of like, when you
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: get out of college, you get a job and that
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: is going to be your job for the rest of
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: your life, which I feel like a lot of times
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: is what I'm thinking, just because it's so easy to
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, well, my dad's been working in basically
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: like construction for like forty years straight with like no
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: other job. I'm like, that's terrifying to think that I'm
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: going to have to end up somewhere like for the
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: rest of my life. So I feel like there's a
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: lot of pressure to choose correctly. So I don't I
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: want to be having a life that I enjoy and
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: not being somewhere that makes me miserable. I'm like, I
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: really gotta figure out what I want to do and
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: like figure out how to get there. Yeah, I feel
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: like that's the thing that.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: A lot of people tell you, Like even when you're
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: picking out your major and they're like, oh, well, what
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: do you want to do with that?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: After it's like, well, maybe I just want to learn.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: You just want to learn.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Think for me, like, in terms of like wanting to
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: become an adult, I've always wanted to stay a kid
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: because I think there's a lot of freedom that comes
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: with being a kid, and a lot of peace of mind,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: knowing that you can always fall back on someone and
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: that like people are there inherently to take care of you,
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: versus as an adult, you sort of have to build
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: that for yourself, versus having that system.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Sort of innately set up.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: And so I'm having to like build that system and
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: like actually put in the effort to be quite scary.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, that's kind of how I see it. Well.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I also, I guess I was thinking as you were talking,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like your generation, your whole life has been
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: lined up for you, Like you're you're thinking, these kids
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: we see in the kids, can't you guys have heard it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: They're already thinking about college. They're worried about college, and
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: they're like in fifth grade. So I think if there's
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: just been this pressure about where you going to school,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: where you going to high school, where you going to college,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: where are you going to major in, even when you're
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: early in high school, so it's always been it seems
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: like for a lot of girls, they feel that pressure
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: all along the way. Then all of a sudden, if
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: you go to college and then you graduate, you're plopped
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: out and it's like, now what it's all been lined
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: up for me and I've had to make these decisions.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Now it's like now I've got a thousand opportunities. I've
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: never really had to make those choices. I think I
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: see a lot of people yours get get overwhelmed.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, it is kind of overwhelming when people are like, oh,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: you can do whatever you want, like the world is
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: like sometimes I feel like I need like somebody to
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: tell me what you knew, because too many options can
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: be stressful. But it's also kind of like bream knowing that,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: like you can choose like whatever, like your heart to
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: die is. But that's again I'm also like depending on
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: your situation, that everybody has that opportunity.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Ever look at your parents, grandparents and cucles, people you know,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: people who you are close to you ever, does that
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: ever make you worry because maybe you've judged some of
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: them as having settled or you see adults sometimes who
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: struggle and you start to wonder, I wonder if that's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: going to be my path as well.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I think what I've noticed about people that I'm like
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: not scared of becoming, but it's like people that I
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: kind of look at and I'm like, oh wow, Like
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: for me personally, I don't want my life to end
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: up there is like people who have kind of like
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: lost the like fun. I don't know, like the youthfulness
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: of that you can play around and be fun and
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: joke and be not serious all the time and just
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: like have fun. I feel like I don't see that
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: in a lot of adults nowadays. And I've talked to
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: my like mom about this because i feel like my
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: parents do a very good job of like they're very
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: silly and they're very fun and we laugh a lot
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: and we like have a fun time together. But then
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I see other adults who just I feel like they
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: take life so seriously, and I'm like, I am, I
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: don't want to end up with my life being so serious,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: and like I know that adulthood is like I don't know,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: it feels very serious to me, since like you've got
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: to get everything done on time and choose correctly and
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: do all these things to line you up for the
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: perfect life. But like it's it seems very stressful, and
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I feel like I want to just like surround myself
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: and like with even people my age, I've noticed like
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm a little bit more silly than
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: they are, Like I don't want to lose like my
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: youthful just fun, yeah, like a fun spirit. So I'm like,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I just really hope that whenever I'm growing up, I
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: can still just like take a step back and be
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: like this is this is life. We're supposed to enjoy
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: living life and have fun and like be who we
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: want to be. So I don't I don't want to
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: lose kind of like the heart of a child. I
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: know you kind of mentioned that, Yeah, I kind of
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: see it like the same way.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: There's something that like Tim said to me before that
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: like kind of stuck with me. That was like it's
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: your parents' first time living too, and I think that's
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: like always something like important to remember and especially like
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: as a parent, remember that too. It's like you're still
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: like learning through life and growing, Like no matter how
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: old you are, you're always growing and like not losing
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: that sense of play and that sense of like wonderful
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: life is something that like I really hope that I
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: can lean on to, yeah, because I think that's like
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: what it's all about, you know, like what is life
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: if you don't try and find the joy? And I
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: think that like play is something often associated with childhood
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: when it shouldn't be.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's good to be thinking about now.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: It's good to make cert intentions now, Like that's great.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: When I graduate from high school, I think we had
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: to have a quote for your book rind or something.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Remember I went to all boys school too, so but
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: my quote was great as a man who never loses
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: the heart of a child. I'm not sure why that
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: was so important to me back when I was eighteen,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: but for some reason, I think I had the same sense.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I guess I don't even remember why or how, but
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to lose that as well. So I
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: think having the intention is important. Do you ever worry
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: that your family's stories are going to be repeated? But
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: you'll be you know you're going to repeat I'm talking
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: about anybody in the family, and it's uncle's grandparents, whatever.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: I think so, because I think there's always like that
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: debate of nature versus nurture, Like, oh am I going
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: to turn out like them just because like they are me?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Is that really? Yeah? I think there's like a strange.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Balance between what you believe is inherently a part of
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: you and what you choose to do. So I just
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: think if you like approach every day and you like
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: make the choices to be different or just to be
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: how you want to be, that's like how you break that.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't say that I'm like necessarily worried or
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: scared to turn out like anyone in my family, Like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I feel like I all for all them. I see
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: kind of what the building blocks that led up to
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: where they are in good ways and in bad ways,
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: and like I feel like I've seen that and unconsciously
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: learned from it of like, oh, like grades do matter
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: because if you don't get good grades, then there is
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: possibility you can plunk out and that will change the
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: trajectory of your life. So I'm like, yeah, there are like,
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: you know, specific things that I don't want to happen
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: to me, but I feel like just seeing my other
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: family members go through them, it's kind of like I
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: don't know, I feel like since I'm the youngest, I
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: kind of get like a I don't know, like a
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: better sense of what to do because it's like I've
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: got two older siblings and my mom's one of nine,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: so it's like I've got so many stories that like
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: just explain like so many different CEOs and circumstances whatever,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: and they're all doing good in life right now. So
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, So you can go through rough patches,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: you can go through areas where you don't know what
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: to do or all that, and it all ends up okay,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Like there's been I'm very lucky to have no one
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: in my family that's like been completely off de rail. Yeah,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: like you off the rails, like I don't know, just
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: ended up with a life that I was like, wow,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: like I don't know how you got there. And so
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I'm very fortunate enough to be like I could look
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: at any of my family members and see their ups
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: and downs and see how it's all turned out. Okay.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: I think for me, my mom wanted to go to college,
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: but it wasn't encouraged in her time, and so she
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: ended up going to like this Hickey's Secretary of school
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: or something for.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: A long time ago.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: And so when my brother and I came along, I
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: think going to college was not even a question.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: It was talked about early.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: We saved early all of that because she was bound
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: to determined that we were going to go and so
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: interesting enough.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I go to college and.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: I take two years goofing around trying to figure out
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: what to do. You know, I just could not find
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: the thing until I decided to be a nurse. And
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: interesting she wanted to be a nurse. Might think there
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: was a lot of psychological stuff involved in my decisions
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: because I only did it for three years and then
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is not really that fun. You know,
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: I just.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Don't really love the hospital scene. So anyway, that's my story.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And I started at missus Hicky's secretary school, so it
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: came full circle. I'm curious about you. Guys are so mature,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: you always have been. I know you've been coming to
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: camp for a long time. I'm wondering as you look
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: and feel free to be a little judgmental just for
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: a moment, as you look around the people on campus,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: the people you hang out with, people in your dorms
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: and all that, I'm curious about what your perceived level
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: of maturity is for them. How introspective they are, how
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know, just how self aware they are is
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: probably a better way of saying it.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: I think there is a.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Sense of like I wouldn't say if it's necessarily elevated
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: maturity more as everybody knows that they're independent now and
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: like thinking for themselves and our freedom and their own choices.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: So I think there is more of a sense, at
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: least within the people that like I've interacted with, of
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: like we are making our own choices, but we have
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: no idea what we're doing, and we still feel.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Like we need somebody to walk us through it.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: And I think that like having a good group of
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: like friends like that to be like we all don't
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: know what we're doing, and like helping each other walk
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: through that together is very important.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I think that I agree with that, Like coming into college,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: everyone is kind of like on their own for the
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: first time, whether that be in the different ways are
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: not because I call my parents all the time, but
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I'd still say all I own. I just think that
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: a lot of people like are growing up right now,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: like they're maturing right now, when I feel like I
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: kind of matured just two three years ago, like not
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: that much before then, not like whatever. I just feel
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: like they've a lot of people I've met have never
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: gone through like a tragedy in their life. Like there's
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: a lot of people who I don't know what other
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: word to use other than normal, Like they've never fought
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: with their parents, they've never been grounded, they've never had
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: a death in the family, they've never had a bad friendship,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: they've never had a bad relationship. And it's just I've
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: met so many people who have like which is great,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Like I'm glad that they haven't had to go through
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: any eat struggles. But it's like from my end of
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: like I kind of had have gone through some things
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: and I'm still working through it because it's like it
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: follows you for a while, and so I'm like they
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: really don't understand like how I'm feeling at all, like emotionally,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Like I feel like physically the adulthood is like very
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: achievable in college and that's what everyone's kind of working towards.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: But like emotional maturity, I feel like it's not a
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: lot of things, Like not a lot of people know
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: about it, Like not a lot of people are thinking
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: about their emotions in this deep way and how they're
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: so important and like powerful, and they're more kind of
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: just thinking like day to day life whatever, because they
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: don't that's that's not crossing their mind. Yeah, So I
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: think that's What I found kind of the most interesting
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: maturity level wise, is like the emotional maturity is just
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: kind of lacking.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's a lot of people who are
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: labeled adults that don't have that emotional maturity. So it's like, well,
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: they could be in their forties and they're technically an adult,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: but like I feel like I have a wider perspective. Yeah,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: then because we've experienced different things in life. So then
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: it's like where it is mental mature you fit into
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: the conversation of adulthood when somebody like as young as
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: us could see the world very differently from somebody and.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: James, because some of your friends have not had adversities,
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: you're talking about life adversities, do they do you see
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: them having less coping skills when they do hit a bump?
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: For sure. Although every single one of my roommates is
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: so non confront confrontational, it it physically fails me, like
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: it's crazy because it just results in petty high school
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: drama of talking about whatever our other roommates behind your
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: back because she forgots the dishes one time, or she
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: leaves her she left her coat out on the couch
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: for two days and didn't take it in. It's like
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: whenever I say, have you asked her to do herditions?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Have you asked her to take her Well no, not yet.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I just I'm gonna give her one more day, and
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I just haven They don't want to say that her
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: feelings are gonna get hurt and blah blah blah. It's like, wow,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: like you can't tell your friend who you've known since
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: high school, who you've been with for two years, to
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: take her coat and put it in her room, like
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: and then I feel like I'm okay with doing that.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I'm better than them, So I'm like, hey, w you
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: do this? We do that? Oh, like not in like
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: a nagging way, but then it comes off as like
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I'm the one that's like kind of nickpicking, like, oh
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: you will you take your coat to your room? Oh?
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Like I saw your dishes, Like are you gonna get
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: to those anytime soon? So it's like not that it's
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: making me like the villain or anything, but when nobody's
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: confrontational because they're so frightened on how it's gonna make
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: other people feel and how it's gonna come across, when
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: it's like I feel like my feelings would get more
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: hurt you talking about me, why I went back to
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: someone else? Then you just outright saying, hey, when you
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: clean up this mess. Like, I don't know. I think
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: that it's very interesting how people can be so mature
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: but not at the same time, and it just feels
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: very high school.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: I wonder if you were saying that people haven't gone
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: through things. I wonder if it's more more of they
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: don't have the skills to talk about it or to
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: open up about it. Number one, because most people by
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the time you guys, they just have had some bumps
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: in their road and are Number Two, their parents so
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: protected them. I think a lot of parents are overprotective
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: and as soon as their kids start to falter a
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: little bit, they jump in and rescue and all that.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I wonder if it's one of those two things. I'm
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: supposed that they haven't been to adversities.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't think so. It's like
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I have like one of my films from junior year
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: of high school, like I was going to camp. I
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: was like, I love talking about deep stuff and emotions
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: and everything that you've ever been through in life, and
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: like we would have sleepovers and we'd be laying there
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: and I'd steal my guts to her and tell her
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: all of this stuff, and then I'd be like, you're done.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: And then she feel like I don't have anything, And
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you mean you don't have anything?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: And she's like, I've never experienced anything even close to that,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Like even the emotions that you're feeling, I've never had
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: to experience. Like genuinely, I'm like, okay, well, I'm like,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: are you trying to figure out what's wrong? Then I'm like, so,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: like were you bullied in school? Were you whatever? Like
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: I'm genuinely like, okay, Like what do you mean you
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: don't have anything that's like a formative moment of where
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: you were confronted with something that had to either grow
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: or fall down or whatever. It's like they she never
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: like not all her grandparents are still alive. Like it's
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: it's just so bizarre to me how like different life
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: goes for everyone, Like no two people have lived the
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: same life, and it's like the way that, yeah, the
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: people you're surrounded with and everything like that. It's like
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: it's just it's crazy how nature versus nurture, like where
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: you end up versus where you're kind of taught to
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: end up and like just choosing your own path for
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: the first time. I think it's all very interesting.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I worry about people like that because if you're twenty
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: years old and haven't really had to face much adversity,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: and I think I think based on what I noticed
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: is I think a lot of parents have overprotected their
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: kids to prevent them from having to face you know,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: if there's a problem, a little problem in schools, the teachers,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: the parents are calling that, you know, the teaching, not
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: the kid and all that. I think they're not prepared
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: because when stuff hits the fan when you're twenty, you're
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: twenty three, and you haven't had the chance to overcome things,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: and they don't have the skills. I think it's and
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: it's bigger stuff then, as opposed to like, you know,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: fifth grade stuff. I worry about them not being prepared
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: for life becoming an adult quote unquote to yeah.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: I think like a lot of people see like the
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: role as a parent is to like shield shield their
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: children from things like that.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: When I think of it more as like their role.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: Is to help walk them through when they face it
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: instead of like deterring these things.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Any this is a loaded question. Any difference in maturity
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: and emotional intelligence between the boys and girls that you
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: bump into in college.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think that it's very It's just obvious of
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: like I feel like, no matter what age, I've never
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: met a very mature boy, Like even like going you know,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: in the party scene or going out, like I will
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: meet men who are older than me and I'm still like,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: why are you talking like you're I'm like, you are
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: literally older than me, you are out of college, and
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: you still like I would never, like even slightly behave
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: how you are, and like, I know, I just I
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: think it's it's crazy because I feel it doesn't matter
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: to them, Like they can just do whatever forever and
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: like just keep living life. There's no repercussions to not
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: being mature.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I feel like there are definitely some mature like boys,
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: but I feel like it's easier for them to flit.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Like I think they have like a sort of like
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: duality within them where they can like be focused in
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: a moment and like have a nice conversation, but then
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: their friends like let's go on, and they're like, yeah,
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: let's go, and then it's it's so easy for them
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: to like switch and become part of that like bro
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: group mentality. And I think that that's just something that
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: I've noticed within my boys, which I think is why
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I've gravitated towards like more female friend groups, because I
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: feel like females in this situation you can be like, oh,
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: I'm actually not feeling this vibe right now, instead of
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: having to like either pretend or like separate it into
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: like party mode hangout mode versus like life mode. I
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: feel like that boys tend to separate it and girls
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: tend to like have it more cohesive.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: So has it been hard and you can you can
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: answer too, Has it been hard to find your tribe?
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: I mean really like minded people who met your level
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: of growth, maturity, whatever you want to call it. It
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: has been hard to find those people in college?
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think at least for me personally in a
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: husband because I felt like I went in with the
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: mentality of, like everyone was telling me you're going to
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: a big state state school, like you're gonna make so
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: many friends, it's so easy. There's people literally everywhere. And
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: then I got there and I was like, yeah, there
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: are people literally everywhere, but like that doesn't mean that
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: any of them have came up and talked to me.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: That doesn't mean that I came up and talked to
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: any of them. It's not like in high school. In
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: middle school where you're forced to be with the same
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: amount of people for seven hours straight. It's like you
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: are all on different schedules. There's upwards of like four
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: hundred people in some of my classes, so it's like
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: it's not like, oh, make friends in your classes, oh whatever,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: because people switch spots every day. It's not like you
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: can have one consistent relationship with people. And like, I
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: kind of struggled with that of like freshman year, I
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: went knocking on other people's dorms and like just being like, hey,
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: do you want to make friends? Because we were all freshmen,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: we all want friends, so I think there really couldn't
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: be anything wrong with that. But even coming into my
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: sophware a year where I feel like I so haven't
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: found the group that I fit in with, I'm still
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I'm now like, but the heck, we're not a freshman anymore.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: I can't like I'm living off campus, I don't know
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: where to meet people, and everyone that I've talked to
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: about that I've met like the best people. It's like
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: they meet them in the craziest like coincidence of a
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: way of they were they bumped into each other the food,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: like whatever, and they just ended up talking and becoming
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: best friends, and then they introduced them to their group
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: and it's like it just fits perfectly. And I just
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: feel like I haven't had that moment yet. So how
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: about you, I think I so far.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: I mean I've only been at college one semester, but
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: I think I managed to find a good group of friends.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: But it was pretty easy because we all were like that,
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: They're like, we know nobody, so we kind of like
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: clams onto each other.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: I think I have kind of like a fear that,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: like I need to hang on to these friends.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: I mean, like I want to, like, I think they're
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: great people, but I also have a fear that, like
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: I need to hang on to them because the opportunity
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: will present itself in the future to like meet people
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: in the same way, because.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Now we're not all in that mentality of.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, like we're fresher, we have to find people otherwise
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: will be alone. Yeah, so I think it's gone well
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: for now, and I think I have found some good
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: like minded people. I'm just scared that like they might
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: be the only ones that I'm able to find because
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: people's mentalities and like openness is going to be closed
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: off later in the future and like later down the
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: road in college because they already have people and they
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: don't necessarily need another one or are like scared to
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: put themselves out there now because that's not part of
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: the culture anymore.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Well for me, I went to college in nineteen seventy
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: five seventy six my freshman year, and I did join
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: a sorority right away because it was a school about
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: twelve thousand students, and I thought that's pretty big, not
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: compared to Miszoo or other places, but it was a
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: state school, and I joined it because I thought, you know,
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: you're gonna if.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: I liked rush, which I did.
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: Find a group of girls that I connected with, and
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: they were great for me.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: They were like minded.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: I felt like I found a tribe of people and
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: they immediately are your friends because you do a lot together.
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: We even studied together, we had to do meetings together.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: So it was very easy back then for me personally
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: and all the girls that I knew in freshman year
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: to make friends because we all ended up in that system,
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: and then they introduced you to their friends and their
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: fraternity friends and the big sisters and the little All
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: that stuff was created, I think to help you get
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: through that transition. So for me, it was a very positive,
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: easy thing. And it kills me when I hear what
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: it's like for you, Lucy.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like, oh, my gosh, shouldn't this hard
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: to have? So it's like the.
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: Funnest time of my life was my first years of college.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: But we didn't have these aet phones that kids are Burian,
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: and I think that makes it, you know, fifty times harder.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Actually brought my phone over now because I wanted to
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: look at it because I was wondering what has the effect
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: of that been on people connecting at school at college.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I'm pulling up my phone.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: Yet I found it was way more of a problem
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: than high school. I don't know why I haven't found
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: it as much of the problem in college. I think
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: it might be people's mindset or like different culture or something.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: But I thought that was a way bigger problem in
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: high school.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Or most you go to school in Canada, most are
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: the most of your fellows in Canada where do you
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: girls for Scotland, I meant Scottish, Sorry, Scotland are most
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: people are most people from all over the world, so
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: it's not like everybody's from the same state or anything.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Did I go to a school where it's very international
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: and people go there are pool everyone who goes there
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: like minded and like, oh, I want to meet people
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: from all around the world, and like that's part of
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: the reason why.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: You go to the school was because like forty of the.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Student body is international, and like you meet people from
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: all over the world, Like I have friends now from
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: like Pakistan, Slovenia, Mexico, Scotland, like Luke. So I think
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: that's part of the mindset probably why it's different there,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: And like I'll walk down the street and I'll here
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: people speaking in French and like German and stuff. So
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I do think that creates a separate culture, which is
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: not a typical for the college experience. So maybe that
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: is also part of why loans are less of the thing,
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: because people are more in tune to like experiencing what's
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: in front of them.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And I guess that's it's self selective too, because people
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: who have the courage to go international, like that, and
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you know, it's going to a whole different culture. I
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: think there's probably there's probably a difference in their mindset
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that if you just go whereabo else is going to
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: your state, not not saying just you know what I'm saying,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: everybody just goes down. It's like and some people end
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: up going to state school and they did recreating high school.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: They don't really expand themselves like you're expanding yourself consciously.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it like inherently attracts a group of
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: people who are already somewhat like minded, so it makes
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: it easier for that. But I do respect that that's
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: not an average experience and that I'm very fortunate to
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: have that.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: And Lucy, do you feel like people are on their
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: phone's constant? Oh yeah, it's not. It's not like the
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: walking class because everyone just has like earbuds and then
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: they're walking class. So it's not like the people who
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: are walking on their phone. You'll know because they walked
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: ten miles slower than everyone else. But like it's the
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: when you get into class, Like I had a class
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: with like maybe twenty twenty five girls or not girls.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: It was just people. But I would sit by all
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: these girls, and like every class, I would just I
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: really try to be very intentional and not go on
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: my phone and like just embrace awkward silence of that.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I really don't think that our generation can stand awkward silences.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Like I get to class like maybe five ten minute before,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: and every single person is at their desk not even
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: looking up, which is I mean, I don't necessarily think
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: it's a bad thing. I just think that everyone's been
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: trained to when you are bored for one second, when
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: you don't have anything to do for one second, when
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: you don't have anything to talk about for one second,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: it's so easy to pick up your phone and talk
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: to everyone, you know, see everything you like to like
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: just completely be engulfed in your phone when you've got
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: twenty four other people sitting around you. And then the
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: professor walks in and everyone puts their stuff down and
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: then you just all listen. And then as soon as
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: the professor's done, everyone whips back out their phone, puts
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: in the rebots immediately and before they even out the doors,
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: like just in another world. So it's not like because
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I don't think that phones are necessarily bad, but I
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: do think that the way that our society relies on
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: them during every single moment and can't stand in awkward
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: silence is crazy. Like when I've gone to like club
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: meetings with just a few of my friends, like every
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: single person is on their phone until the second like
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: whatever they're doing these starts, and then the second is over,
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: they put back out their phones again. It's like clockwork,
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Like it's just it's habit. Like even when I'm hanging
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: out with my friends in like we're all just hanging
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: out in a group. If we're not talking, every single
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: person's on their phone, or maybe we're not talking because
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: every single persons call their path and so then it's
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: like you got to this stupid life hang out, hang out,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: like stop being screenagers. And then it's like I just
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: feel like, just don't go out on the perspect even
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: if there is an awkward silence, like just sit in it,
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Like we don't have to constantly be stimulating our brains
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent of the time every single day until
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: the second we fall asleep. I think it's crazy.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Generation My favorite memories of college were sitting in the
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: dorm that was I was just small college. It's only
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: like five is thousand people and I was in a
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: dorm my freshman year, in the second floor, and after
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: the first mission, my roommate and I moved down the
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: same hallway to a different room. I was in that
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: same room for three and a half years. All my
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: best friends were on my floor are on the floor
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: below us, and so we would just hang out. We'd
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: be throwing balls at each other and talking and laughing
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: and joking around. I mean that we weren't obviously, there
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: weren't cell phones back then, obviously, but that was to me,
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: like the fun was just hanging out and talking and
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: joking around and all that stuff. I guess you guys
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: are missing on some of that. Maybe no, I agree.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I think so. I just I think that because phones
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: are such a prominent like thing in our lives now,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: like we will never go back to that way of
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: like just organic fun. Like it just feels like every time.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: And maybe it's just my friends who are into side sive,
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: but whenever we're all not on our phones and we're
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: looking for something to do, it's like, what do you
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: want to do?
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: What do you want to do?
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: I don't well, do.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: You want to go outside? I don't know? It's like
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: there's like the creativity of just a natural hangout is
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: completely gone when all you have is your phone, you're
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: I just think that like we aren't forced to come
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: up with like a stupid game to play where we're
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: running around and like hanging out and like it doesn't
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: even have to be that. I just feel like there
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: is no creative solution. It's like when we can't go
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: on our phone or something like it said, it sounds
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: like in lack of how to connect also just like
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: knowing what to do.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I find that like especially like when I'm
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: just like in my dorm by myself, like I'm just
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: like on my phone. That yeah, for me, it's not
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: necessarily when I'm out with people. Is when I'm by myself,
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I guess I'll just scroll for you. I
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: don't know, because it's like what do you do to
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: occupy your time when.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: You're so, what's what? What's what's your plan? What do
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: we talked about this? I don't know, I can't remember
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: recently for coffee or something, you're talking about what are
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: you going to do different dis semester? Because you were
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: like game, I'm determined to find my tribe.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I just I
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: need to start putting myself It's just it's so hard
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: to put yourself in uncomfortable situations knowingly, Like I do
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: want to go to more clubs that like promote things
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: that I'm passionate about and hopefully I can meet people there,
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: but there's always like I feel like an expectation that
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have and if it isn't meant then
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: it's just it's really scary. So I'm like, I just
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: feel like I need to get out of my comfort
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: zone in like every way this semester. And I know
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: it's it's hard, but I feel like when you're out
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: of your comfort zone the most is when you see
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: it was change in your life. And I feel like
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: I've talked to a lot of people that were like, yeah,
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I kind of just said yes to hang out with
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: this one person one time, even though I knew it
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: was gonna be awkward, and now we've been best friends
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: twenty years. So it's like, I just feel like I
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: need to start putting myself out there more, which is
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: like so much harder. It's not said, but like I
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: just I feel like I really need to push myself
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: to do that because if not, then I'm just gonna
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: keep complaining and being like i'll white people. So it's
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: like yeah, yeah.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: But I think that's also part of like the reason
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: why people do defaults of their phone is because they
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: don't like that uncomfortability even of like going outside of
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: their comfort zone. And it's like that's what makes you
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: have these fun experiences. But that's like so much easier
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: said than done. Like even for me, like doing something new,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: I want somebody I know to come with me because
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: like doing something alone for the first time, it's like
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know what to do, Like I don't want
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: to look stupid.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all your doubts come up exactly.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: Even if I'm not tied to like my phone or something,
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I want to tie myself to somebody who, like I know,
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: is going to be like oh no, like it was okay,
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: like it was all good and like help walk me through.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: And I wonder if you guys just missed out on
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: that developmental step, not you guys, but your generation because
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: you didn't have to because you can always default to
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: looking at your phone or all that kind of things,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: So maybe didn't have to put yourself out so much.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: There's there's that thing you can always hide, you know,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: in your phone and amuse yourself, entertain yourself.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: You don't know you have friends in there right that
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: you're already are connected with.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an availing tactic. Yeah, crazy, so different.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: What's what's been your favorite age so far? And why
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: if you could go back in time and say, I
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: really like to.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Allude lucy, Wow, I'm twenty, I'm twenty, tailor I'm eighteen,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I'm nineteen.
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: Seen okay, all right, Honestly, I don't know why I
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: always say if I could go.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Back to age seven, I could.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: I think I had a last age seven if that's okay?
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Free, like you know, like when you're a kid, you
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: just have that like.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: You don't have as much anxiety and you can just
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: say like random things and like people will be like, oh,
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: that's so funny. And now if I say something stupid
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: there like what are you?
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: So?
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: I think like seven was a really good age. Also,
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: like my sister was still living at home with me,
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: so like I had that. Yeah, I think it was
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: just a great age to be carefree and but to
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: still be like exploring and also to like act and
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: not having any judgment.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: How about you.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know, that's a hard question because I think
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: about like when I was in elementary school and just
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: the pure bliss of life and how special everything felt
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: all the time, and how like almost like enchanting life felt.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: And now it's like as you get older, it's like
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: the Christmas kind of loses its spark and everything kind
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: of just becomes more real. And so I feel like
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: living in a time where it was just pure wonder
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: and pure play and bliss and just hanging out with
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: my siblings and going and running around the neighborhood. And
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: I just I feel like our generation was like one
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: of the last generations who will like consistently play outside,
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: Like I have so many memories playing out side as
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: a kid, Like I just can't get a phone until
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: eighth grade. So it's like I feel like pre phone
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: and pre like almost angsty teen face. It's just like
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: when you just get along with everyone, doesn't matter who
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: they put kids are, you're all in one big group together,
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: just running around doing stuff without your parents knowing. I
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: just feel like it's so I don't know, it's so
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: it's literating. Yeah, it's just like, I feel like that's
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: the only time in my life that I've been so
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: like emotionally and physically like free of like just living
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: day to day, hanging up with everyone, and just like
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: like playing with my siblings and just being cute and
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: like saying weird stuff and nobody's like, why are you
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: saying that you're twenty year olds old? And it's like
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: cute and endearing. I just I feel like the youth,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: like childhood is just so amazing.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: And unique and yours since you were married, so obvious.
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: Hostly say, I had a very lovely life and good parents.
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: So I loved grade school. I didn't like middle school.
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: That would be the one I'd skipped of all. I
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: loved high school. I had a lot of different friends,
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: it was fun. College was a blast. And then the
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: marriage and children, I mean it's all been and then
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: grant now grandparenting. So for me, it's I look at
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: all of them really fondly. I don't have just one
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: that sticks out. But I did like my freshman year.
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: Just the freedom and the fun and the connections.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: It was great. What about you tell me, I would
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: say college. The first couple of years in college before
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I got into pre med and they got really intense
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: and stressful just all that because the sciences were hard
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: for me. But the first two years just hanging out.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I did every inter real sport. I was in a
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: couple of plays. I was a cheerleader. I did everything.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: I just decided, you know, this is things I never
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: had time for in high school because I was always
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: playing a once, you know, like a sport a season
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: and all that. So just being able to try all
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: kinds of things and meeting people adore. My brothers weren't
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: there beating the crap out of me. It was just
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: it was freeing just to be able to sort of,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: you know, I be myself.
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: And all I do remember feeling those first two years
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: of college, how this is a really nice time and
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: because your parents are still supporting you, you have all
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: the freedom you want. You can do what you want. Basically,
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: it's never gonna be just have to graduate.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: You have to be stepping up and doing real taxes
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: and real things, you know, And so I remember feeling
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: really grateful and liberated, like for those couple of years
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: before it got hard to getting to nursing school and
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: all the hard parts of that.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I think that's how I've been feeling for
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: like the past two years. It's like, oh, like this
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: is great right now, but I don't want to keep going.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: Be's uncomfortable wearing that, But then like the next year
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: to be like, oh, okay, actually quite about let's keep it.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: So I think that, like my answer to that question
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: will definitely change, yeah, because I think also like part
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: of life is like reminiscing for like what you had.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: One more question, one more question for you guys. And
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: we've we've talked about this with our kids because they
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: came obviously to our camps ever since you know, they
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: were little kids, not little kids like seven or eight
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: years of age. I'm wondering because you guys have had
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of personal growth because you've been to our camps,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: you've been to our little circles, and you've talked and shared,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: and you're I think you're very self aware, more so
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: than I think most people your age and our kids
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: used to talk about being a blessing and a curse.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious about that for you guys, what your
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: experience is about. I mean, like they're like with our sons,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: like they're talking about the bimbos, you know, the girls
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: being so airheaded and well just airhead like that. No,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: they weren't very prounded and they were looking for something
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: a little deeper, and because they were used to that
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: with all their camp friends and it was hard to
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: find that at college is all those that kind of thing,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: so that they felt like, I don't know, my standards
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: are so high, it's hard sometimes to to find. I'm
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: just curious if if you ever thought about that.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: I think it does.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: Pose that challenge, but I wouldn't have it any other
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: way because I think there's like deeper connections you can find,
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: the more fulfilledy you'll be in them. So I wouldn't
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: want to trade like a deeper connection that I may
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: have that might take me longer to find for something
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: that i'd be like half as deep, but I could
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: get it now. So I think it it does pose
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: like challenges and moments where it will like maybe feeling
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: a bit low leand but I wouldn't trade that out.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I agree. I think that as much as
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: it's like difficult being around, just like people of different
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: emotional intelligence levels, it's like I know, like I found
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: my thing that works for me and it's like it's hard.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like the hardest part is that they don't understand.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: They don't understand the emotion that comes behind it. They
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: don't understand the coping mechanism. They don't understand why I
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: react in certain situations because of things that I've been through,
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: like especially just with my friends who have never had
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: to experience a lot of that stuff, Like they genuinely
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: don't like understand it. So I feel like that's the
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: hardest part of like, I know what I'm doing is
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: good for me and taking a step back and you know,
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: just sometimes taking a few hours or a day just
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: to like fully process something because I'm not in the
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: emotional state of mind to say it to someone else,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: and to them it's like, oh, she's been in her
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: room all day, like I'm ending out with us. So
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: it's like for me when I take a step and
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: be like doing this for me, I know that they
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: will never understand how that works and why any of
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: that is necessary because they've never had to experience something
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: like that. So I mean it is I feel like
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: it's way more of a blessing than a curse. But
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I do think that in like time, like we find
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: people who match our like energy. I don't. I don't
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: know how to say another way, but just.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Like we've done that exercise, it can't make especially with
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: the younger kids, I guess where they make a list
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: of all the qualities of a good friend, all the
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: things that they would want, and then they once safe
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: list that these are the things that are important to
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: me and a friend, and they look at the list.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've seen you've done when they and they
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: compare that list to the people that are hanging out with,
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: and for many of them, it's like, oh God, my
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: friends don't don't live up to what I think is
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: important in their friend And then they also look at themselves.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Am I living these out? And then it's like, now
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: who could I start looking for? I must, I'm gonna
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: start looking around my world for people who match the
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: list to be more intentional, and I think, I think
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: all the personal growth and I did what we used to.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: We ran these weeks and retreats one hundred years ago
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: for adults, and some of our best friends came out
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: of that best friends. Now now we've known none for
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: thirty years or plus, and you know, it's kind of
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: like the people that you meet who are deep and
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: you know they get it and they're very self aware.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: It makes a difference, I think in the depth of friendship.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: And yeah, we can talk about things. We don't have
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: to beat around the bush and all that kind of stuff.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: We were with some of them during the holidays. It's
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: just different.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: We'll find them. Yeah, I will say that coming home
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: and hanging out with my camp friends is always just
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: like the most precious spring.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Water and.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: Ever like ever, oh my, it's so refreshing because it's
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: like I feel like I almost like regressed whenever I'm
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: like living with people who like just truly it takes
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: so much effort for them to understand. And so it's
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: like when I come back and I'm driving around with
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: like someone from care when we talk for like three
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: hours straight about everything that's been going on and are
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: like the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, like everything,
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: and it just comes off so naturally and there's not
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: like if there is an opera moment. It's comfortable. It's
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: not like awkward silence. It's comfortable silence. It's like it's
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: just so refreshing to also like not to be like
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: praise or anything, but like my camp friends are very
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: good at being like you are a really good person,
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: You're really nice, like you, I see you for who
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: you are when like I feel like me and my
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: other friends we never compliment each other, Like we never
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: say really kind things about each other, so casually when
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: I do that all the time with my camtfriends, like
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: every time I see them, I'm like, you're amazing, Like
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: this has been a blessing. But with my non camp
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: friends kind of just like oh yeah, they're like I
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you guys for everything, for sharing so much today.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I hope for the parents, the adults who are listening
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: in or end or if there's some some teens who
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: are listening in, because a lot of parents will listen
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: to some of these podcasts with their kids just stir conversations.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: I hope it's been helpful just to get a sense
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: of what is going on for young people today high school,
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: especially college. Some of the young adults that that are
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: living in your homes, what might be go on for them.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: This would be maybe a good conversation start also to
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: talk about what kind of friends do you have, in
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: the depth of your friendships and what's important to you
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: and friends and all that kind of thing. Also, maybe
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: it's impetus to cent your doughters to camp so they
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: can end up like these two incredible young women. Yeah,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: so thank you so much, as always for stopping by.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: I will put in my show notes some links to
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: some things that might be important, links to summer camp,
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: and maybe also some other resources might be helpful in
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: this regard. I'll go back. I'll be back again next
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: week with the brand new podcast, as I always am.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: I think this is podcast number three hundred and sixty
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: six that I have done. I think that's very So
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: that's a I think that that's what it is. So
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: there's a bunch of them. You go on our website,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: there's there's Are they all on there?
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: No?
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: They all?
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Who? Will you say?
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: So? They are all?
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: Yes, they're easy to find on the website on the
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: podcast tab, really easy.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: You can see all three hundred and sixty three or listen.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: To them all kinds of different topics. I really like
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: these times when we're talking to people like you guys.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: I think they're interesting and I think these are good
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: ones to listen to with your kids. So again I'll
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: be back with you all next week with the brand
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: new podcast. Thanks so much, as always for stopping by