Latest / CelinaSpookyBoo / These AITAH Stories Took a DARK Turn... (I_m Speechless)

Transcript

These AITAH Stories Took a DARK Turn... (I_m Speechless) · CelinaSpookyBoo

0:00
Speaker 1: Will I be the a-hole if I take over planning
0:03
Speaker 1: my own funeral from my very religious parents? What did
0:06
Speaker 1: he say? Alright, that and a lot of other drama
0:09
Speaker 1: on today's Am I the Asshole Reddit video. This one's
0:12
Speaker 1: gonna be a doozy. Before we jump into this video,
0:14
Speaker 1: I just want to put this little phone number right
0:15
Speaker 1: here in case you're in crisis and if you need help.
0:18
Speaker 1: Feels like my responsibility and hey, take charge of your life. Ooh, okay.
0:22
Speaker 1: Will I be the a-hole if I take over planning
0:24
Speaker 1: my funeral from my very religious parents? Ooh. Hello, all! Well,
0:28
Speaker 1: if it isn't already obvious from the title, I am dying. Ugh.
0:33
Speaker 1: How long ago? This was six years ago. Ugh. Rip,
0:36
Speaker 1: I'm guessing. I don't feel the details are super relevant
0:39
Speaker 1: to the issue at hand, but for those who are
0:40
Speaker 1: curious about my ultimate demise, I have cystic fibrosis, and
0:43
Speaker 1: after two rejected lung transplants, I've been told there isn't
0:46
Speaker 1: anything else they can do but keep me comfortable in
0:48
Speaker 1: my last few weeks. I've begun my preparations for my funeral,
0:51
Speaker 1: and such as well, thinking about it would be a
0:53
Speaker 1: breath of fresh air from this whirlwind of death. I
0:56
Speaker 1: could not have been more wrong. Now, on to the title.
0:59
Speaker 1: My parents are both strict Southern Baptists and want a
1:01
Speaker 1: very traditional funeral. This includes hymns to be sung during
1:05
Speaker 1: the memorial, casket and graveside service, a viewing, countless prayers
1:08
Speaker 1: during the memorial, scripture to be read. My issue with
1:11
Speaker 1: this as well, everything, is that I'm the complete opposite
1:14
Speaker 1: of my parents. Not religious, I curse like a sailor,
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Speaker 1: I drink like the Irish, you name it. You have
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Speaker 1: lived your life, and I am so happy for you,
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Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry that you're probably dead. Everything they
1:25
Speaker 1: are wanting and attempting to plan is not me as
1:27
Speaker 1: a person. I've somehow made it to 25 and managed
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Speaker 1: to meet the man of my dreams and marry him
1:32
Speaker 1: last year and he is torn. He wants me to
1:34
Speaker 1: have exactly what I want. He doesn't just want me
1:36
Speaker 1: to have to deal with my parents after the fact
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Speaker 1: that when he's actively grieving. I want my service to
1:41
Speaker 1: be one full of laughter, funny stories and pictures, upbeat music, cats.
1:45
Speaker 1: My husband and I are avid cat lovers. I want
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Speaker 1: confetti and sh- But more importantly, I want to be
1:50
Speaker 1: cremated and put in a cat-shaped urn. I told my
1:53
Speaker 1: husband I wanted my ashes to be handed out like
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Speaker 1: party favors so my family and friends can take me
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Speaker 1: with them because I love to travel. And he looked horrified.
2:00
Speaker 1: I love this. I collect ashes, right? I know that's
2:02
Speaker 1: really weird, but like if ashes don't have a place
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Speaker 1: to go, they end up here sometimes. So I love that.
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Speaker 1: My parents are absolutely not on board and are essentially
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Speaker 1: planning everything how they want. Attempting to take me shopping
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Speaker 1: for a casket, flowers, picking out hymns and verses, the
2:15
Speaker 1: whole deal. I am obviously... Not very pleased. So I
2:20
Speaker 1: guess my question would be, will I be the asshole
2:22
Speaker 1: if I take control of my own funeral and wrote
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Speaker 1: a will to be followed exactly how I want it?
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Speaker 1: I understand my parents are grieving and I've tried to
2:29
Speaker 1: compromise with a mixture of both my views and theirs,
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Speaker 1: but they aren't having it. I never thought dying would
2:35
Speaker 1: be so stressful and I want to enjoy what time
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Speaker 1: I have left. Please help. Okay, so the comments on
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Speaker 1: this first before we go to the update. Not the a-hole,
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Speaker 1: it's literally your funeral and you sound like an awesome
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Speaker 1: person worth celebrating. I love that. Definitely double check that
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Speaker 1: a will is actually binding in this regard. I specialize
2:49
Speaker 1: in estate management in New Zealand and funeral instructions are
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Speaker 1: not legally binding. Also, you're married. So I feel like
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Speaker 1: your husband now has more of a choice. Her husband
2:58
Speaker 1: next of kin though, he should have legal planning authority.
3:00
Speaker 1: I agree, but there is an update. Okay. I'm excited.
3:05
Speaker 1: I'm like really invested. I want to go to this
3:06
Speaker 1: person after and see if, oh, they're dead. Updates. Hello, everyone.
3:11
Speaker 1: First of all, thank you for the kind words, support,
3:14
Speaker 1: and love that everyone has offered to Gibbon. These weeks
3:17
Speaker 1: have been the most difficult I have ever experienced, and
3:19
Speaker 1: it is with great sadness. Oh, damn! It's not her writing! Damn!
3:24
Speaker 1: And it's with great sadness that I tell you that
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Speaker 1: my beautiful and cat-crazy wife has I've had to cut
3:30
Speaker 1: this short due to character limits. Sorry all, but I
3:33
Speaker 1: did leave you all a note. Reddit, I have copied
3:36
Speaker 1: everything verbatim below. She truly loved everyone and was smiling
3:39
Speaker 1: so much after her first post that I will take
3:42
Speaker 1: my leave here. Much love. I'm gonna cry. Oh, it
3:46
Speaker 1: starts funny. Hold on. Hold on. I'm gonna do that
3:48
Speaker 1: thing that girls do. I'm gonna wake up. Scott is
3:51
Speaker 1: here for the tears. You know, at least it's not
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Speaker 1: toilet paper. Reddit, if you're reading this, I am dead.
3:56
Speaker 1: Pretty crazy to be talking to a dead person, eh?
3:58
Speaker 1: But it feels strange to be writing this. My husband
4:00
Speaker 1: has offered to write these words. Such a sweet ham,
4:03
Speaker 1: I know. Be nice to him, okay? But I wanted
4:07
Speaker 1: my last words to be written by me. Long story short,
4:09
Speaker 1: we talked to my parents. A lot of people asked
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Speaker 1: why my husband isn't planning the funeral and my parents
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Speaker 1: were taking control. Honestly, my parents didn't take the news
4:16
Speaker 1: of my passing to come well and I suppose it's
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Speaker 1: their closure. And to put it plain and simple, it
4:20
Speaker 1: was a hand that they were dealt. So we talked
4:23
Speaker 1: to them. I laid it all out for them and
4:24
Speaker 1: somehow we reached a compromise. Lots of tears, lots of hugs.
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Speaker 1: and surprisingly lots of laughs. They admitted that they had
4:31
Speaker 1: been losing their faith with everything that had been happening,
4:33
Speaker 1: and it was their attempt to find it again, was
4:35
Speaker 1: to take control and guide me into the afterlife. Not
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Speaker 1: my thing, though, and I explained to them I am
4:40
Speaker 1: not them, but their daughter who wanted to live the
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Speaker 1: last weeks of her life in peace, not the turmoil
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Speaker 1: that they were putting me through. While a lot of
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Speaker 1: people stated that funerals are for the living, true true,
4:49
Speaker 1: I firmly believe that the funeral is for the living
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Speaker 1: to remember the person as who they were, not what
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Speaker 1: everyone else wanted it to My parents seemed to understand
4:56
Speaker 1: when I told them that. They were not on board
4:58
Speaker 1: with the party favor aspect, though. Kind of a bummer.
5:00
Speaker 1: Pretty lucky to plan my own funeral, honestly. But now
5:03
Speaker 1: that all is said and done, thank you guys. I
5:06
Speaker 1: was blown away by their response and I was moved
5:07
Speaker 1: to tears. I wish I had a chance to meet
5:10
Speaker 1: every single one of you. You'll all be good now, right?
5:13
Speaker 1: Take it one day at a time and enjoy yourself.
5:16
Speaker 1: You only get one life unless you're someone who has
5:17
Speaker 1: survived death. Then you're just a hero and probably a
5:20
Speaker 1: cat with a few lives to spare. I love you all.
5:22
Speaker 1: I'm resting now. This disease sucks and I'm happy to
5:25
Speaker 1: be rid of it and laugh and love and cry
5:28
Speaker 1: and be sad. Shit happens. I've got to go now.
5:30
Speaker 1: I've got to go snuggle my husband and my cats.
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Speaker 1: Keep it real Reddit. Love you all. What a person.
5:35
Speaker 1: What a wonderful person. I get so mad. Like, I
5:38
Speaker 1: have such a weird relationship with death. I'm so scared
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Speaker 1: of leaving what I have because I love what I have.
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Speaker 1: But I'm excited for what's next. But I don't want
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Speaker 1: to do it alone. I don't want to go alone.
5:45
Speaker 1: And I freak out about death because I have a
5:46
Speaker 1: lot of health things that are always going on. Sorry.
5:48
Speaker 1: I'm bawling now thinking about this person making it about myself.
5:51
Speaker 1: My god. I just like the person this person writes.
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Speaker 1: She just doesn't seem scared. I just wish I could
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Speaker 1: be that. I want to make a YouTube video with
5:57
Speaker 1: a letter to Remy in case something happens to me,
5:58
Speaker 1: because I have problems with my heart and my diabetes,
6:01
Speaker 1: and I'm just so scared. People in my family have
6:03
Speaker 1: a tendency to just drop dead young, and I just don't,
6:06
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave. I'm having a good time,
6:08
Speaker 1: and that's why I'm on my health journey. If you
6:09
Speaker 1: guys haven't heard, I'm on a health journey. I made
6:11
Speaker 1: an Instagram page called Selena's Cub. I'm going to do
6:14
Speaker 1: a little bit of an update over there. It's been
6:15
Speaker 1: a really, really rough start to making healthier choices. Food
6:18
Speaker 1: addiction is absolutely insane, but I really loved this one.
6:21
Speaker 1: I really loved this one, so thank you so much
6:23
Speaker 1: to Dying is Stressful. Am I the a-hole for wanting
6:27
Speaker 1: to go to the funeral of a girl that I
6:28
Speaker 1: helped get addicted to substances? I am 26 and clean
6:32
Speaker 1: from H for three years. Clap for being off. I
6:37
Speaker 1: used to be a piece of shiza and I used
6:39
Speaker 1: to deal it for a while. I managed to get
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Speaker 1: with a beautiful girl named Marcy when I first started
6:44
Speaker 1: getting into the thick of things. She knew who I was,
6:47
Speaker 1: but she loved me. I will regret this for the
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Speaker 1: rest of my life, but I was the first person
6:52
Speaker 1: who gave that to Marcy for the first time. After that,
6:56
Speaker 1: there was no stopping her. She stuck around with me,
6:59
Speaker 1: probably because I was her dealer more than anything, but
7:02
Speaker 1: then I got clean and I never saw her again
7:04
Speaker 1: for a long time. A year ago, she reached out
7:07
Speaker 1: to me on Facebook and told me that she had
7:09
Speaker 1: been clean forever. for a few months and she said
7:11
Speaker 1: that she didn't hate me for what happened and hoped
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Speaker 1: that I was still clean. Last week I got a
7:16
Speaker 1: call from my sister who told me she saw on
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Speaker 1: Facebook that Marcy had passed away and there was a
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Speaker 1: funeral service this upcoming Thursday. Immediately I burst into tears
7:25
Speaker 1: because I hoped that this would never happen and I
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Speaker 1: feel so much guilt over it. I want to go
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Speaker 1: to the funeral service for her but I'm afraid that
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Speaker 1: my presence would be unwanted. At the most, I could
7:35
Speaker 1: just slip in the back, pay my respects, and leave.
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Speaker 1: I need to do this for myself. Am I the
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Speaker 1: a-hole for wanting to go? I'm just gonna go with
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Speaker 1: first initial response right here. Yeah. This funeral's not about you.
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Speaker 1: You played a unfortunate small role of the beginning of
7:48
Speaker 1: the downfall of this person's life, and this is gonna
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Speaker 1: be the people who were with her for her whole life.
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Speaker 1: You guys were only together for a part time, and
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Speaker 1: they don't want you there. They don't want you there.
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Speaker 1: I'm curious what people have said. You're not an asshole
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Speaker 1: for wanting to go, but you will be one if
8:01
Speaker 1: you did go. Your presence would not be welcomed. Go
8:04
Speaker 1: mourn privately somewhere else. Also, edited to add, it's a
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Speaker 1: move to use this opportunity to do it for yourself,
8:10
Speaker 1: as you put it. Her family is not putting on
8:12
Speaker 1: a funeral to lessen the guilt for the person who
8:14
Speaker 1: got their child addicted to H. Visit her grave after.
8:17
Speaker 1: After she's been interred, go visit and have a conversation
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Speaker 1: with her there. I agree. OP did enough. I would
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Speaker 1: be irate if my brother's dealer had the audacity to
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Speaker 1: show up at my brother's funeral. More than elsewhere. My
8:30
Speaker 1: daughter OD'd three months ago, and if anyone who sold
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Speaker 1: her the stuff she was doing, especially the one who
8:35
Speaker 1: got her into it, it would not have been a
8:37
Speaker 1: good situation. Yeah, no, don't, don't. I scrolled up to
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Speaker 1: the top and I realized that this actually was raided
8:43
Speaker 1: the a-hole, but there is also an update. We love
8:46
Speaker 1: updates in this house. Update. I want to sincerely thank
8:49
Speaker 1: everyone who commented. Everyone's comments were appreciated, including those that
8:53
Speaker 1: were less than pleasant. Since I received such great advice
8:56
Speaker 1: in my original post, I feel an obligation to update
8:58
Speaker 1: and I am trying to follow through on all aspects
9:00
Speaker 1: of my life, even internet ones. The funeral service was
9:03
Speaker 1: held this past Thursday. I'm so scared to see if
9:06
Speaker 1: they went or not. Before then, I brought all the
9:08
Speaker 1: advice that I received online and brought it to the
9:11
Speaker 1: real world and talked to both my therapist and my
9:13
Speaker 1: sponsor about how I was feeling and what I should do.
9:16
Speaker 1: My sponsor was straight and told me that I would
9:19
Speaker 1: be putting myself in danger by going and that I
9:21
Speaker 1: should do something else that day to grieve. That's kind
9:24
Speaker 1: of a weird way to put it. Then Thursday rolled around.
9:26
Speaker 1: I was a mess. I seriously considered both just going
9:30
Speaker 1: to the funeral or using again, but instead I grabbed
9:32
Speaker 1: my dog and I went on a road trip. We
9:34
Speaker 1: went to the beach and we just hung out, the
9:36
Speaker 1: two of us. I'm doing okay this week, but obviously
9:39
Speaker 1: I'm still not doing great. That's it. Take care of it.
9:42
Speaker 1: I'm glad on the decision that you made, but I
9:44
Speaker 1: do want to say a couple things. Yes, you got
9:47
Speaker 1: her addicted to this stuff, but at the same time,
9:50
Speaker 1: she is an adult probably, I'm guessing. So at the
9:53
Speaker 1: end of the day, it is her choice. You shouldn't
9:54
Speaker 1: have been there, but like you're not fully responsible for
9:57
Speaker 1: what happened. Did you play a role? Yes. but you
10:00
Speaker 1: are not fully responsible. Again, if you are dealing with
10:02
Speaker 1: a crisis, I want to throw a number up right here.
10:04
Speaker 1: Crisis hotline, call it. Drop some messages down below. Talk
10:07
Speaker 1: with some people in the comments. You would be amazed
10:09
Speaker 1: how many people have had the same struggle as you.
10:11
Speaker 1: Let's drive on to something more juicy, less sad, okay?
10:14
Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for pretending to get fired when
10:17
Speaker 1: customers get a temper with me? Oh my god, I'm
10:19
Speaker 1: gonna like this. I already know I'm gonna like this.
10:22
Speaker 1: I am a high schooler with a job at a
10:23
Speaker 1: coffee shop. My co-workers who work weekends are James, the
10:28
Speaker 1: owner's son. He goes to my school. He's a shift manager.
10:31
Speaker 1: He's a friendly guy. And then we have Danielle, a
10:33
Speaker 1: college student who sometimes works weekends too. Hmm. so sometimes
10:36
Speaker 1: customers will come in and just be angry about such
10:39
Speaker 1: little stuff literally blow up about nothing i don't know
10:42
Speaker 1: if they're in a bad mood already and looking for
10:43
Speaker 1: someone to take it out on or what but it
10:45
Speaker 1: is a lot like how sad do you have to
10:48
Speaker 1: be to be a grown man taking your anger out
10:50
Speaker 1: on some high school and college kids so james and
10:52
Speaker 1: i were joking about having a little fun and then
10:54
Speaker 1: hopefully getting them off our backs oh i love this
10:57
Speaker 1: oh you know i love this improv class So one
11:01
Speaker 1: day I was at work and some guy was having
11:03
Speaker 1: a temper about how we don't make the coffee hot enough,
11:05
Speaker 1: which I couldn't do a thing about because I gave
11:07
Speaker 1: it to him right out of the machine. So James
11:09
Speaker 1: came from the back and said, sir, is there a
11:11
Speaker 1: problem here? And when the guy started ranting at him too,
11:13
Speaker 1: he was just like, this is unacceptable. You're fired. I
11:18
Speaker 1: started acting really sad. Like, no, please don't fire me.
11:21
Speaker 1: My family needs money. I need this job, please. And
11:23
Speaker 1: he played up being a hard ass, telling me to
11:25
Speaker 1: take my apron off and leave. The angry guy started
11:28
Speaker 1: to backtrack. Like, it isn't that big of a problem.
11:31
Speaker 1: You don't need to fire her over it. I didn't
11:32
Speaker 1: mean it. And James was like, no, we pride ourselves
11:35
Speaker 1: on the best customer service. And of course, after all
11:38
Speaker 1: that drama, I still have my job. We were just
11:40
Speaker 1: acting and we would have done it a couple of
11:42
Speaker 1: times whenever a customer would lose their temper at Dan
11:45
Speaker 1: Yeller Eye. It's kind of satisfying making people realize their
11:48
Speaker 1: actions might actually have consequences. Anyway, I was telling my
11:51
Speaker 1: friend from school about this and a few of them
11:53
Speaker 1: thought it was a mean prank to let someone go
11:55
Speaker 1: away thinking they got someone who desperately needed money fired.
11:58
Speaker 1: Am I for this joke? No! I think it's hilarious.
12:01
Speaker 1: I think it shows people how their actions affect others.
12:04
Speaker 1: I think that it puts people in their fucking lane
12:05
Speaker 1: because everybody takes life too seriously. Literally just be kind.
12:08
Speaker 1: Like literally just be kind. Like the power that you
12:11
Speaker 1: hold when you just decide to be happy and you
12:13
Speaker 1: let someone react in whatever crazy they want to react
12:15
Speaker 1: and you just go on with your life, living your life.
12:17
Speaker 1: The power you have in that The power to not
12:19
Speaker 1: react is the dirtiest, juiciest, sexiest power you will ever have. Comments.
12:24
Speaker 1: Not the a-hole does a perfect way of dealing with
12:26
Speaker 1: hostile customers. I literally love that. When hostile customers try
12:29
Speaker 1: to backtrack, they say that it makes it worth it.
12:32
Speaker 1: OP's tactic hopefully teaches them to stop complaining to service
12:35
Speaker 1: workers about things out of their control. Figure something else out, Dave.
12:38
Speaker 1: My god. Next one, next one. My eyes are so blurry.
12:42
Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for telling my extended family how
12:44
Speaker 1: many men, roughly, my sister has slept with? After she
12:48
Speaker 1: outed my youngest brother as a virgin. Oh, family tea.
12:52
Speaker 1: Family tea. We had a family dinner this evening. My
12:56
Speaker 1: family has four kids in total. Me, my elder sister, 29,
13:00
Speaker 1: my younger sister, 24 female, and our youngest brother, 22 male.
13:04
Speaker 1: Extended family attended our family dinner, so all of our
13:07
Speaker 1: significant others, our cousins, our aunts, our uncles, etc. During
13:11
Speaker 1: the dinner, my eldest sister and youngest brother got into
13:14
Speaker 1: a mid-disagreement. My sister seemed, at least to me... to
13:18
Speaker 1: be coming across as very aggressive out of frustration and
13:22
Speaker 1: said losing the argument. The two of them were too
13:26
Speaker 1: absorbed in their argument to realize the rest of us
13:29
Speaker 1: were getting a bit fed up. Eventually, my sister got
13:31
Speaker 1: really fed up and said, Shut up. I'm not going
13:33
Speaker 1: to argue with a 22-year-old virgin. Nothing's wrong. You can
13:37
Speaker 1: be a virgin your whole life. That's fine. My brother
13:39
Speaker 1: hadn't done any personal attacks up to that point. It
13:42
Speaker 1: was completely unprovoked. I think it might have been the
13:45
Speaker 1: alcohol as my sister... is a mean drunk. Anyway, I
13:49
Speaker 1: immediately told my sister to grow up and that she
13:51
Speaker 1: was making an embarrassment of herself. She replied by saying
13:55
Speaker 1: everyone knows he's a virgin and she didn't say anything wrong.
13:58
Speaker 1: This annoyed me as my bro definitely has confidence issues
14:01
Speaker 1: and doesn't need to be made fun of like this.
14:04
Speaker 1: So I responded by saying how she slept with well
14:07
Speaker 1: over a 100 men while she was in college. No
14:10
Speaker 1: shaming here. If I could go back before I was married,
14:12
Speaker 1: like not married, oh my gosh, before I was in
14:14
Speaker 1: a relationship, like if I could look back at my
14:16
Speaker 1: teenage self, I would have been crazy. I would have
14:17
Speaker 1: been crazy and I was already crazy, okay? And since
14:20
Speaker 1: everyone in the family knows that it's not a big deal, right?
14:23
Speaker 1: Turns out her husband didn't know this amazingly. I genuinely
14:27
Speaker 1: assumed that he must have known. He left the party
14:30
Speaker 1: angrily saying that my sister mid-led him about her past.
14:34
Speaker 1: Family is blaming me for their marital problems now, and
14:37
Speaker 1: I refuse to accept that I did anything wrong. My
14:40
Speaker 1: sister bullied my brother in front of everyone, and all
14:42
Speaker 1: I did was give her a taste of her own medicine.
14:44
Speaker 1: This is just sibling drama, and I love it. Are
14:47
Speaker 1: you the... Oh, no. Okay, I'm bad, though. I would fight.
14:50
Speaker 1: You come for my brother? I'm coming after you. Okay,
14:53
Speaker 1: everyone said, one person making personal attacks doesn't mean someone
14:56
Speaker 1: else should, especially since you weren't in the argument to
14:58
Speaker 1: begin with. But she loves the drama! Yes, seems right.
15:01
Speaker 1: Not cool of her for going after her brother like that,
15:04
Speaker 1: but there were much better ways for diffusing the argument
15:06
Speaker 1: than stooping to her level of a personal attack, regardless
15:10
Speaker 1: of the aftermath. Oh my gosh. 100%, it's the thought.
15:14
Speaker 1: Me mentioning my virginity as low as possible. Mentioning sex
15:17
Speaker 1: with a hundred guy, though, is way past the line.
15:19
Speaker 1: Nobody would def want to bring something that personal up.
15:21
Speaker 1: At the top it says it's rated that everyone sucks,
15:23
Speaker 1: which I kind of agree with, but like, I wish
15:25
Speaker 1: I was that fly on the wall. Next up, am
15:27
Speaker 1: I the a-hole for punishing my son after he said
15:30
Speaker 1: something racist? Oh shit. The tea be hot. About a
15:34
Speaker 1: week ago, my 39 female family ordered Chinese food for delivery.
15:38
Speaker 1: When the delivery driver came to the door, my daughter,
15:41
Speaker 1: 16 female, was taking the cat upstairs to put in
15:44
Speaker 1: her room because he always tries to eat the food.
15:46
Speaker 1: My son, 13 male, what a terrible age for boys,
15:49
Speaker 1: loudly says, make sure to hide the cat from the
15:53
Speaker 1: Chinese guy. As I'm at the door getting the food
15:57
Speaker 1: from the Chinese delivery diver, he obviously heard what my
16:00
Speaker 1: son said and was upset by it and quickly apologized. Wait,
16:03
Speaker 1: what's wrong? Make sure to hide the ca- See how
16:06
Speaker 1: simple I am and kind? Took me a minute to
16:09
Speaker 1: even understand what the comment was there. I told my
16:12
Speaker 1: son that racist jokes were completely unacceptable and very wrong
16:16
Speaker 1: and he refused to admit that he was in the wrong.
16:18
Speaker 1: So later that night, I forced my son to write
16:20
Speaker 1: a sincere apology to the delivery driver his name was
16:24
Speaker 1: on the receipt as well as a one-page paper on
16:26
Speaker 1: chinese culture a one-page paper on racism perpetuated by racist
16:30
Speaker 1: jokes and stereotypes and then the next day i took
16:32
Speaker 1: him to the restaurant and had him read his apology
16:36
Speaker 1: to the delivery driver as well as give him the
16:38
Speaker 1: papers he wrote the driver was very appreciative of the
16:40
Speaker 1: apology and thanked me for making my son do it
16:43
Speaker 1: he then told my son about multiple instances where he
16:46
Speaker 1: had faced racist comments and attacks from people while he
16:50
Speaker 1: was a delivery driver. That's horrible. And I'm not done yet,
16:52
Speaker 1: but I'm really glad you held your kid accountable. That night,
16:55
Speaker 1: my husband, 43, male, and I got into an argument
16:58
Speaker 1: about me making my son do this. He told me
17:00
Speaker 1: that it was embarrassing for our son to have to
17:01
Speaker 1: do the apology and that the punishment didn't fit the crime. Cough. Yes,
17:05
Speaker 1: it did. I told him that it was so much
17:07
Speaker 1: more embarrassing for the driver to have to face that
17:09
Speaker 1: kind of racism and racist stereotypes and that our son
17:12
Speaker 1: will get over the embarrassment. I do not condone any
17:15
Speaker 1: kind of hateful thinking in my house and the fact
17:17
Speaker 1: that my son said it embarrassed me as well. My
17:19
Speaker 1: husband told me that it was just a joke and
17:21
Speaker 1: that it wasn't that big of a deal. I feel
17:23
Speaker 1: like I might have overreacted some, but I think it's
17:25
Speaker 1: important to help my son understand what he did and
17:27
Speaker 1: how it was wrong and hurtful. I like mama moment.
17:33
Speaker 1: I would do that like there's such a fine line
17:35
Speaker 1: because there's comedians and clubs like there's a place not
17:38
Speaker 1: even for racing like it's hard but I'll tell you
17:40
Speaker 1: I hear a lot of that in jokes but you're
17:41
Speaker 1: going there expecting that you don't want to hear that
17:42
Speaker 1: when you're at work you don't want to deal with
17:44
Speaker 1: anything like that I commend them up this is not
17:45
Speaker 1: the asshole sounds like your husband could learn the lesson
17:48
Speaker 1: too honestly maybe maybe you get him to write a
17:50
Speaker 1: paper no more coochie till you write me a five
17:52
Speaker 1: page paper hoochie I hate that I'm sorry my first
17:55
Speaker 1: thought after hearing the dog's reaction was guess why the
17:58
Speaker 1: son thinks it's okay I think that's a good mummy moment. Oh,
18:00
Speaker 1: I want to do a mummy moment Reddit-esque thing. Do
18:02
Speaker 1: you want a mummy moment from me? I think we
18:04
Speaker 1: should do a mummy moment. Am I the a-hole from
18:07
Speaker 1: getting up from my chair in the middle of Christmas
18:09
Speaker 1: dinner and shouting, shut the F up about my body
18:14
Speaker 1: in response to my husband's observation? Let's get into it.
18:18
Speaker 1: So ever since I had my son months ago, oh God,
18:21
Speaker 1: just months. God damn, here we go. I'm still trying
18:23
Speaker 1: to get rid of the baby weight and I didn't
18:25
Speaker 1: even have a baby. I just don't want to die.
18:29
Speaker 1: Emotional damage. My husband has started making indirect comments about
18:34
Speaker 1: my body. Go. He never says any hurtful words, but
18:37
Speaker 1: I find his observations, as he calls it, hurtful. For example,
18:41
Speaker 1: he'd see me wearing an old top and say, oh,
18:44
Speaker 1: that top used to look good on you. but not anymore. Oh,
18:48
Speaker 1: do you hear me gag while I was reading that?
18:50
Speaker 1: Or when he looks at my waist and he says, wow,
18:52
Speaker 1: I didn't know your waist could get this wide. Basically
18:55
Speaker 1: passive stuff that I tried to ignore until it extended
18:57
Speaker 1: to his friends and family. FYI, this went on for
19:00
Speaker 1: months and months and months. You know what? I think
19:02
Speaker 1: about this sometimes because like my body was commented on
19:04
Speaker 1: so absolutely violently growing up by family members. It never
19:08
Speaker 1: really was in school. It never was really by bullies.
19:11
Speaker 1: Like it never really was, but it was really talked
19:13
Speaker 1: about in my family. And I It's never talked about
19:17
Speaker 1: by Adam. And like, I'll literally say something and I'll
19:19
Speaker 1: be like, is that right? He's like, I don't care
19:21
Speaker 1: for the size of it. Football field, I love you.
19:24
Speaker 1: But it's just like, it's crazy when you live in
19:27
Speaker 1: a place where you think that that's okay. And then
19:29
Speaker 1: you go into the world where you have someone who
19:30
Speaker 1: loves you, who doesn't say shit about your body. And
19:32
Speaker 1: then you go on the internet and people say a
19:34
Speaker 1: lot of things about you. Moving on. Not my problem.
19:36
Speaker 1: We're reading about her problem. We went to a Christmas
19:38
Speaker 1: celebration at his family's home. My sister-in-law complimented my floral
19:42
Speaker 1: maxi dress. And my husband said, I agree. It looks
19:46
Speaker 1: nice on you. Though I have to admit, your waist
19:49
Speaker 1: could get smaller. than this. Awkward silence took over. I
19:52
Speaker 1: was absolutely fuming. This was my last straw. I got
19:55
Speaker 1: up from my chair in the middle of dinner and
19:57
Speaker 1: I shouted at the top of my lungs, shut the
20:00
Speaker 1: F up about my body. He was absolutely speechless as
20:04
Speaker 1: his family stared at while some others tried to get
20:07
Speaker 1: me to calm down. But this situation got more tense,
20:10
Speaker 1: and dinner ended up being cut short, with my husband
20:12
Speaker 1: storming off to his friend's place to spend the night,
20:15
Speaker 1: upon leaving a very nasty text, saying that I embarrassed
20:19
Speaker 1: him and made a scene over an observation he made.
20:21
Speaker 1: He called me childish and told me to go to
20:24
Speaker 1: therapy for my insecurities, instead of verbally abusing him and
20:27
Speaker 1: scarring his family. Now, I feel like an absolute idiot absolutely,
20:30
Speaker 1: told like i ruined christmas for him and everybody over
20:33
Speaker 1: my sensitivity am i the a-hole babe you took it
20:36
Speaker 1: all you took it as long as you could and
20:37
Speaker 1: the pressure of christmas it broke the camel's back camel
20:40
Speaker 1: broken dead that's what happened that's what happened i'm so
20:43
Speaker 1: sorry he did this to you i think you should
20:44
Speaker 1: be spanked i think you should start making observations what
20:47
Speaker 1: is the hairline my baby has stuck him on both
20:49
Speaker 1: Maybe he's a tiny little wiener boy. I got really
20:52
Speaker 1: into that anyways. Oh, this thread got locked due to violations.
20:55
Speaker 1: So let's read the juicy comments. I think the last
20:57
Speaker 1: thing your husband really wants for you to do is
20:59
Speaker 1: get therapy. If you do, you'll discover that he is
21:02
Speaker 1: emotionally abusive bully and stop feeling guilty for refusing to
21:05
Speaker 1: put up with his BS. Not the a-hole, but your
21:07
Speaker 1: husband is. Do as he recommended. Go to therapy so
21:10
Speaker 1: you can regain self-confidence that he is eroded with his
21:14
Speaker 1: cruel observations. OP should, in fact, text this back to him.
21:19
Speaker 1: Stop gaslighting me. You've been abusive and a bully. You
21:22
Speaker 1: need to go to therapy to get this out because
21:23
Speaker 1: if not, our marriage might be over. Man, don't stay
21:26
Speaker 1: with someone who makes you feel small. Do you know
21:27
Speaker 1: how many guys out there would love to just f
21:29
Speaker 1: * * * your sweet little a * *? You're
21:31
Speaker 1: gonna need to bleep a * *. You might need
21:32
Speaker 1: to bleep that whole sentence. Oh, danger. Am I the
21:35
Speaker 1: a-hole for switching to regular milk to prove my lactose
21:38
Speaker 1: intolerant roommate keeps stealing from me? This sounds diabolical. This
21:43
Speaker 1: sounds perfect magic. Grace, it's beautiful, I love it! Me
21:47
Speaker 1: and two other guys share an apartment together and we
21:49
Speaker 1: split the bills. The only thing we don't split costs
21:52
Speaker 1: on is groceries. Everyone is in charge of buying their
21:54
Speaker 1: own food and we don't touch whatever doesn't belong to
21:57
Speaker 1: us in the fridge. We put our names on everything
21:59
Speaker 1: so nobody gets mixed up. This issue has been going
22:02
Speaker 1: on for about a year and I am sick of it.
22:04
Speaker 1: One of my roommates keeps stealing my food. I get
22:07
Speaker 1: home from work and my containers and my leftovers are
22:10
Speaker 1: sometimes missing and they have my name written on them
22:12
Speaker 1: or my stuff finishes too quickly. My gallon of milk,
22:15
Speaker 1: for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste,
22:17
Speaker 1: but it seems to finish after a week, even though
22:19
Speaker 1: I've only drank it once or twice. I confronted R
22:22
Speaker 1: about this lots of times and it has caused a
22:24
Speaker 1: lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me
22:26
Speaker 1: I'm crazy, even though it's so obvious. My other roommate
22:31
Speaker 1: and I carpool together because we both work at the
22:34
Speaker 1: same early morning shift around the same area, so I
22:37
Speaker 1: know it's not him. Anyways, after we get back home
22:39
Speaker 1: and R's already left for work, I notice my food
22:41
Speaker 1: is gone. My roommate also had a similar problem, but
22:43
Speaker 1: not as often as I do. So I'm guessing R
22:46
Speaker 1: does it because he doesn't like what he buys. The
22:48
Speaker 1: funny thing is, R buy lots of food for himself
22:50
Speaker 1: and he's even more stingy about his food. He will
22:52
Speaker 1: literally point out what is his when he comes back
22:55
Speaker 1: from the grocery store and tell us not to touch it.
22:57
Speaker 1: Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I
22:59
Speaker 1: got so fed up. I went to the liquor store
23:01
Speaker 1: and I bought regular dairy milk. Why are you buying
23:04
Speaker 1: regular dairy milk at the liquor store? That sounds gross.
23:07
Speaker 1: I drank what was left of my almond milk and
23:08
Speaker 1: refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was
23:11
Speaker 1: to catch and prove R that he was the one
23:13
Speaker 1: stealing since he's lactose intolerant. The next Saturday, I get
23:16
Speaker 1: back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at
23:19
Speaker 1: me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40
23:21
Speaker 1: minutes with diarrhea because of my milk he was using
23:25
Speaker 1: to make a shake. I only responded with, so then
23:27
Speaker 1: you are the one that has been stealing. He freaking exploded. Yeah,
23:32
Speaker 1: he admitted that he was sometimes drinking my milk and
23:34
Speaker 1: eating my food, but he was more mad that I
23:36
Speaker 1: switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I
23:38
Speaker 1: told him I wouldn't have done that if he just
23:40
Speaker 1: would have stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or
23:43
Speaker 1: at least told the truth instead of trying to make
23:45
Speaker 1: it seem like I was making it up. My roommate
23:47
Speaker 1: backed me up and thought that it was kind of
23:49
Speaker 1: funny he got payback from stealing from us. It's a
23:51
Speaker 1: little tense right now and my roommate told me that
23:53
Speaker 1: R is trying to convince him to agree to kick
23:56
Speaker 1: me out. Little does he know that we are both
23:58
Speaker 1: looking to move somewhere else together as we're sick of
24:00
Speaker 1: his shit. I told my buddies what happened and a
24:03
Speaker 1: few think I'm an asshole for that, but I feel
24:05
Speaker 1: like I'm not on the wrong here. Not the asshole.
24:07
Speaker 1: I think you're funny. I think you're diabolical. I think
24:08
Speaker 1: it's juicy. I think I love it. I think you're
24:10
Speaker 1: not the dick. You got payback. It's the best way.
24:12
Speaker 1: You told him 10 times and he said it wasn't him,
24:14
Speaker 1: but it was him. Not the a-hole. R wasn't stealing
24:16
Speaker 1: your food. He wouldn't have had a problem. How dare
24:19
Speaker 1: you make the face of consequence in my own actions?
24:21
Speaker 1: You can do whatever you want with your milk. Like
24:23
Speaker 1: put it in another container. Massive not the asshole. I
24:26
Speaker 1: wish I was as creative as you as I had
24:27
Speaker 1: a roommate taking my food. You made my day. Juicy.
24:30
Speaker 1: I love it. I think that's magic. I'm so proud
24:33
Speaker 1: of you. Am I a bad person? Can you guys
24:36
Speaker 1: be honest with me? Am I the a-hole for giving
24:39
Speaker 1: away my gifts because they had the wrong name? What?
24:42
Speaker 1: My husband, 30, and I, 30, have a three-year-old son together.
24:45
Speaker 1: My in-laws have a tradition where they take their dad's
24:48
Speaker 1: middle name as their first name, and then they go
24:50
Speaker 1: by their middle name. For example, my husband's name is
24:53
Speaker 1: West Allen, but he goes by Allen, and our son
24:56
Speaker 1: is Allen Dean. and he would go by Dean. I
24:59
Speaker 1: was happy to be a part of the tradition, as
25:02
Speaker 1: I knew it meant a lot to my husband and
25:03
Speaker 1: the in-laws. His middle name came from my grandpa, and
25:06
Speaker 1: I was happy, but also felt like his name wasn't
25:09
Speaker 1: his own. We didn't tell anyone until my son was born, though,
25:12
Speaker 1: that his legal name was still Alan Dean. He would
25:14
Speaker 1: go by A. Dean. I can't express how happy I
25:17
Speaker 1: am to call him AD, and luckily, most people were
25:20
Speaker 1: happy too, except one. Before he was born, my mom
25:24
Speaker 1: was so excited she got a custom-made everything with the
25:27
Speaker 1: name Dean on it. I accepted them, not knowing until
25:30
Speaker 1: later that we would be calling him AD. My mom
25:32
Speaker 1: was clearly upset when we told her, but I assured
25:35
Speaker 1: her that I would still use the item since it
25:38
Speaker 1: was so last minute. I did not realize at the
25:39
Speaker 1: time that this would be a continued issue with my mom.
25:42
Speaker 1: She called him Dean whenever he was near her, and
25:45
Speaker 1: in turn had our family who communicated through her call
25:49
Speaker 1: him Dean as well. After a few months of this,
25:51
Speaker 1: I finally asked why she won't call him AD, and
25:54
Speaker 1: she said it was because she had a resident where
25:56
Speaker 1: she worked in a nursing home named AD, and he
25:58
Speaker 1: was so mean and ugly, and her and she can
26:01
Speaker 1: only think of that old man when she hears the name.
26:04
Speaker 1: She hadn't worked in that nursing home in years, and
26:06
Speaker 1: only worked for three years there. I told her that
26:08
Speaker 1: it was crazy that she refused to budge. Years later,
26:11
Speaker 1: and not only does she still call him Dean, but
26:14
Speaker 1: she still gets custom things with his name, and even
26:16
Speaker 1: though I made it clear that it's AD, she still
26:18
Speaker 1: gets some shirts with Dean on them. I told her
26:21
Speaker 1: to her face that he won't wear them at my house,
26:23
Speaker 1: and she just gets upset and says that he can
26:25
Speaker 1: use them as play clothes. And if I hate them
26:27
Speaker 1: so much, I can end up throwing them all in
26:29
Speaker 1: a pile in the closet. Last week, I was cleaning
26:31
Speaker 1: out the closet and finally decided to toss out all
26:33
Speaker 1: the items. I put them all together and posted them
26:35
Speaker 1: on a mom Facebook group if anybody had a little
26:37
Speaker 1: dean and wanted the items. Someone in the group was
26:40
Speaker 1: friends with my mom and apparently asked her about the items.
26:42
Speaker 1: My mom was furious and messaged me about why I
26:44
Speaker 1: was getting rid of all her stuff. I told her
26:47
Speaker 1: that I had explained plenty of times that I wasn't
26:49
Speaker 1: going to use this stuff and she refused to keep
26:51
Speaker 1: it so I'm giving it to someone who would. She
26:53
Speaker 1: argued with me for a long time and then I
26:55
Speaker 1: eventually gave up replying. Later I got a call from
26:57
Speaker 1: my grandpa saying that I upset her and that I
27:00
Speaker 1: should be grateful for the custom items. I told him
27:02
Speaker 1: that my mother-in-law got him custom items too and they
27:04
Speaker 1: have a D on them without an issue I said
27:07
Speaker 1: it's not grateful. It is selfish He tried to convince
27:10
Speaker 1: me to apologize to her and I refused my sister
27:13
Speaker 1: and one of my brothers also agreed with my mom
27:15
Speaker 1: But I tell them all the same thing hmm I
27:18
Speaker 1: don't think you're an asshole. I think this is one
27:20
Speaker 1: of those things where it's like we grew up in
27:21
Speaker 1: different generations, but you need to set your boundaries and
27:23
Speaker 1: you did that. And if she really cared, she could
27:26
Speaker 1: just buy you fricking AD things. So the tradition is
27:29
Speaker 1: in your husband's family to call him Dean. You're thrilled
27:31
Speaker 1: about this tradition. The tradition is very important to your
27:33
Speaker 1: husband and in-laws. The name is your grandparents, but you
27:35
Speaker 1: still choose to call your son by a nickname and
27:38
Speaker 1: are acting weird with your mother because he calls your
27:40
Speaker 1: son the name you actually gave him. What was this rated?
27:43
Speaker 1: This was rated asshole. I don't agree. I don't. You
27:45
Speaker 1: know what? I feel neutral because yes, your kid has
27:48
Speaker 1: a name, but people give people nicknames. People have different
27:50
Speaker 1: nicknames for different people. Like there are these people I
27:52
Speaker 1: hated and all growing up, they call me Selene. Like,
27:54
Speaker 1: what do you nickname Selena though? Lena? They call me
27:56
Speaker 1: Selene or Selener. I hated it. Selener. Keep an eye
27:59
Speaker 1: out for Selina. Sorry. Pop culture reference. I can't believe
28:03
Speaker 1: they're reading this, although I feel like that was a
28:04
Speaker 1: little deep. Am I the a-hole for buying my daughter
28:07
Speaker 1: an Apple Watch and AirPods? How can that be an a-hole?
28:10
Speaker 1: That sounds great. Mommy buying a present. Mommy buying a present.
28:13
Speaker 1: My daughter, 16 female, had her birthday a few days ago.
28:16
Speaker 1: She does really well at school and deserves a gift,
28:19
Speaker 1: so I wanted to buy her a gift to celebrate
28:20
Speaker 1: the occasion. Around a month ago, I asked her what
28:23
Speaker 1: she wanted, and she said she didn't want anything. What
28:25
Speaker 1: do you need, you doll? Do you want my list?
28:28
Speaker 1: My daughter is very old technology. Her computer is missing
28:30
Speaker 1: several keys and she still uses earbuds with wires. So
28:34
Speaker 1: for her birthday, I figured I should get her something
28:36
Speaker 1: related to technology that she will use. I bought her
28:39
Speaker 1: an Apple watch and AirPods so she can be more
28:42
Speaker 1: up to date. I love that. I want to clarify
28:44
Speaker 1: that before buying anything, I asked her to try on
28:46
Speaker 1: my AirPods. She did and said they were okay, but
28:48
Speaker 1: that she preferred her ear pods. However, she has issues
28:51
Speaker 1: with change. So I thought that she would settle in
28:53
Speaker 1: and prefer AirPods eventually. Me and my wife gave her
28:56
Speaker 1: our gifts. My wife got her a cat-themed blanket and
28:59
Speaker 1: some cans of soup she likes. So random, I love it.
29:02
Speaker 1: In my opinion, this is a ridiculous gift to get
29:04
Speaker 1: a teenager who's almost an adult, but my daughter liked it.
29:07
Speaker 1: If she liked it, it's all better. She knows her vibe. However,
29:10
Speaker 1: when I gave my gift to her, my daughter started
29:12
Speaker 1: crying and told me that she hated my gift and
29:14
Speaker 1: that I should return it to the store. She was
29:16
Speaker 1: mad at me because she thinks an Apple Watch is
29:19
Speaker 1: too expensive and that she doesn't like spending money. She
29:22
Speaker 1: also says she doesn't like jewelry and although an Apple
29:25
Speaker 1: Watch isn't even jewelry and that she doesn't want AirPods
29:29
Speaker 1: because she'll probably lose them. I told them she was
29:32
Speaker 1: being ridiculous and that she needed to be grateful. She
29:35
Speaker 1: told me I obviously didn't know anything about her, and
29:38
Speaker 1: if I thought she wanted AirPods... then she left me
29:40
Speaker 1: on silent treatment and is not talking to me my
29:43
Speaker 1: wife agrees that she is being ungrateful but also said
29:46
Speaker 1: that i should not have gotten her apple watch because
29:49
Speaker 1: she has texture issues so reddit am i the a-hole
29:52
Speaker 1: This is another one where I think we're talking about
29:54
Speaker 1: a specific kind of person, obviously, who has sensory issues,
29:57
Speaker 1: who has a really hard time with change. So help
29:59
Speaker 1: me in the comments. Does this sound like autism? Does
30:01
Speaker 1: this sound like Asperger's or something like that? I don't
30:03
Speaker 1: feel like he did wrong at all. I think his
30:05
Speaker 1: intentions were good, but maybe he just doesn't understand her
30:08
Speaker 1: the same way that her mom does. That's like clearly
30:10
Speaker 1: what's going on also. This was rated an asshole, but
30:13
Speaker 1: I don't think it is. I think he did the best.
30:15
Speaker 1: I think they could return it and choose something together,
30:18
Speaker 1: maybe an iPad, maybe something like that. I don't think
30:21
Speaker 1: he's an asshole, though. Let's see what people said. This
30:22
Speaker 1: reminds me of when I was 10 or so years old,
30:24
Speaker 1: and I loved Nintendo 64. I mentioned this to my
30:27
Speaker 1: dad that I would like a GameCube so I could
30:28
Speaker 1: play the upcoming Mario and Sonic games. My dad insisted
30:31
Speaker 1: that the Xbox had better games and better specs. Argued
30:34
Speaker 1: with me at length. A year later, my dad got
30:36
Speaker 1: me an Xbox with several games. I rarely played it.
30:38
Speaker 1: He got pissed and told me, that he wouldn't buy
30:40
Speaker 1: me a gamecube because i had a perfectly good xbox
30:42
Speaker 1: i'm seeing the light she tried on your paws and
30:45
Speaker 1: said she didn't like them but you still got them
30:46
Speaker 1: even though she said she didn't want them the watch
30:48
Speaker 1: i don't understand because i feel like that was cool
30:50
Speaker 1: but you also thought that maybe she would get you
30:52
Speaker 1: it's i feel like you can't even comment on it
30:54
Speaker 1: without knowing the family but i do understand this and
30:57
Speaker 1: my parents and people have done that to me before
30:59
Speaker 1: where you want something but they're like well this is
31:00
Speaker 1: what i think you should have so they get you
31:02
Speaker 1: what you would they think you should have instead okay
31:04
Speaker 1: i'm getting it You're the asshole. I suppose you might
31:06
Speaker 1: get a few random internet strangers to call your child
31:09
Speaker 1: an asshole for you, but it's not going to be me. Yes,
31:11
Speaker 1: her negative reaction was unusually strong. I think that's where
31:14
Speaker 1: I'm getting held up to. But she's 16 and maybe neurodivergent.
31:17
Speaker 1: And after all, she did specifically tell you in advance
31:19
Speaker 1: she didn't want AirPods. What's also a-hole-ish is the irrelevant
31:23
Speaker 1: and gratuitous shot at the gift your wife gave her. Yeah,
31:26
Speaker 1: that was Dickie. She liked it. She knew her. Damn,
31:29
Speaker 1: I'm seeing some lights in my own self today. Ugh.
31:32
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this one's gonna upset people. Am I
31:33
Speaker 1: the a-hole for selling my son's Pokemon binder? I have
31:37
Speaker 1: a 19-year-old son, and when he was little, he was
31:39
Speaker 1: obsessed with Pokemon. I bought him the stuffed animals, the
31:41
Speaker 1: games on Nintendo, the cards. Him and his father would
31:44
Speaker 1: put every card they pulled into a binder. When he
31:47
Speaker 1: got into late middle school or like high school, his
31:49
Speaker 1: interest in things completely disappeared. I was deep cleaning the house,
31:52
Speaker 1: and I found the binder in the back of our
31:53
Speaker 1: storage closet. I remember asking him if he was still
31:56
Speaker 1: into Pokemon, and he said no. So I sold it
31:58
Speaker 1: on Facebook Marketplace. I didn't think he'd mind since he
32:01
Speaker 1: hadn't even mentioned Pokemon for a long time. there from
32:04
Speaker 1: when he was a kid too recently he has decided
32:07
Speaker 1: to start collecting pokemon again today i watched him tear
32:10
Speaker 1: up the house trying to look for his binder so
32:11
Speaker 1: i told him i sold it he lost his mind
32:14
Speaker 1: completely flipping out on me he said that i'm a
32:16
Speaker 1: horrible mother for going behind his back and selling his
32:18
Speaker 1: cards he started asking me who bought them and that
32:20
Speaker 1: he wanted to ask them for the cards back i
32:22
Speaker 1: explained him it happened nearly six years ago and they
32:24
Speaker 1: were probably gone my husband came home from work about
32:27
Speaker 1: an hour ago and he told me that what i
32:29
Speaker 1: did to our son was horrible just put it in
32:31
Speaker 1: box put it in a box you didn't ask him
32:33
Speaker 1: if he wanted it still that's like an airman's bag
32:36
Speaker 1: okay that was an investment there is a decent chance
32:39
Speaker 1: that collection was worth thousands if not more some of
32:41
Speaker 1: those cards are rare and worth a lot someone said
32:43
Speaker 1: i was looking for this one you're the on the
32:45
Speaker 1: principle of this but holy heck op might have sold
32:47
Speaker 1: a ten thousand dollar card for 20 bucks just because
32:50
Speaker 1: he might no longer be into a hobby doesn't give
32:52
Speaker 1: you the right to sell his property not only that
32:54
Speaker 1: he made memories with his dad putting them in there
32:55
Speaker 1: this is right i fully agree i think you're an
32:59
Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for lying to my girlfriend? Lies
33:02
Speaker 1: are never good, unless they're white and they're protecting someone
33:04
Speaker 1: and it'll never affect them. There's some reasons. Context, my lady,
33:08
Speaker 1: 20 female, recently invited me, 20 male, we are in
33:11
Speaker 1: college together. We got extra days off from our university
33:14
Speaker 1: each year for a little Easter break. My girlfriend invited
33:16
Speaker 1: me to go home with her and to her church
33:18
Speaker 1: with her family. I've been to her house several times
33:20
Speaker 1: throughout the course of our two-year relationship, but this time, however,
33:23
Speaker 1: we would be traveling deep into her home state to
33:26
Speaker 1: a small country town where her grandfather preaches. I'd be
33:29
Speaker 1: meeting a lot of her extended family for the first time.
33:32
Speaker 1: When she initially asked me to go, I knew that
33:34
Speaker 1: I wasn't really in the mood to go on this
33:35
Speaker 1: trip with her and be around her family. Nothing wrong
33:38
Speaker 1: with her family. I just want to stay at school, relax,
33:40
Speaker 1: catch up on some work. Her love language is quality
33:43
Speaker 1: time though. So I just bit the bullet and I
33:45
Speaker 1: said yes when she asked me if I wanted to
33:47
Speaker 1: go with her. The lie. Two weeks pass and it
33:49
Speaker 1: is two days before the trip and I let her
33:51
Speaker 1: know I don't really want to go. When she asked why,
33:53
Speaker 1: I let her know I was just going to make
33:55
Speaker 1: her happy. She was extremely offended by this. She's not
33:58
Speaker 1: too concerned with the fact that I don't want to go. However,
34:00
Speaker 1: she's extremely pissed that I lied when she asked me initially.
34:03
Speaker 1: This led to a longer conversation where I ended up
34:06
Speaker 1: admitting that I do this semi-frequently. I can be a
34:09
Speaker 1: bit of a homebody at times, and when she asks
34:11
Speaker 1: me if I want to go out and do something
34:12
Speaker 1: with her, I'll often just say yes, even if I
34:14
Speaker 1: don't want to. This information served to infuriate her even more.
34:19
Speaker 1: She hates liars with a passion, and in her mind,
34:21
Speaker 1: there's no exceptions. she compares me to one of her
34:24
Speaker 1: previous boyfriends who had lied about wanting to be with
34:27
Speaker 1: her after a break and ultimately ended up cheating on
34:30
Speaker 1: her she isn't speaking to me right now and saying
34:32
Speaker 1: that she needs space this is as mad as she's
34:34
Speaker 1: ever been at me my whole thing is i don't
34:35
Speaker 1: feel like this is as bad as she thinks it
34:37
Speaker 1: is sometimes when i tell her i want to hang
34:40
Speaker 1: out when i don't i actually end up having a
34:42
Speaker 1: genuinely good time with her whenever i'm honest and say
34:45
Speaker 1: i don't want to go but i'm willing to she
34:47
Speaker 1: drops the idea of going at all and won't budge
34:49
Speaker 1: on it I just don't feel like these lies hold
34:51
Speaker 1: the same weight as her cheating acts. So I ask you,
34:54
Speaker 1: am I the a-hole? I don't feel like these are lies.
34:56
Speaker 1: I feel that you're one way and you're bending who
34:59
Speaker 1: you are to make her happy. You're compromising with yourself.
35:02
Speaker 1: It feels like a compromise, not a lie. You're the asshole.
35:04
Speaker 1: Why lie in the first place? Why is it a lie?
35:06
Speaker 1: I guess that's a lie or it's just feelings. I'm
35:09
Speaker 1: curious of your thoughts on this. Why lie in the
35:11
Speaker 1: first place? Seems your reason was to keep her happy.
35:13
Speaker 1: If that's the case, why tell her the truth right
35:15
Speaker 1: before the trip? Did you think you'd be grateful and
35:16
Speaker 1: you're gonna put up with her family although you didn't
35:18
Speaker 1: wanna go? I don't understand all of a sudden. Two
35:20
Speaker 1: days before your trip, you decide that she should know
35:22
Speaker 1: the truth like a truth you just are like you
35:25
Speaker 1: probably felt two weeks ago where you're like yeah okay
35:27
Speaker 1: i'll go but then it gets closer like ah damn
35:29
Speaker 1: feelings change i really don't want to go this also
35:30
Speaker 1: was rated asshole you guys are mean you guys are
35:33
Speaker 1: really mean i'm excited i saved the best for last
35:35
Speaker 1: you know i'm at the a-hole for laughing at my
35:37
Speaker 1: friend farting I'm a child. Please sue me. My friend,
35:40
Speaker 1: 16 female, was occupied with one of her other friends.
35:42
Speaker 1: We were sitting down in the hallway near the windows
35:44
Speaker 1: to get some sunlight while I screwed through reels of TikTok.
35:47
Speaker 1: I nudged her gently, trying to show her a funny
35:49
Speaker 1: TikTok that came up on my For You page, but
35:51
Speaker 1: instead I got nudged harshly against my waist by her elbow.
35:54
Speaker 1: She was listening to her friend and I wasn't aware
35:56
Speaker 1: that she was speaking to her friend. I was left agitated,
35:59
Speaker 1: but I didn't utter a word, distracting myself with the
36:01
Speaker 1: other countless TikToks. That's when she accidentally let one rip
36:04
Speaker 1: and I turned my face to her and in complete
36:06
Speaker 1: annoyance said, can't you stop? I turned my attention back
36:09
Speaker 1: to my iPad and that's when she yelled, I have
36:11
Speaker 1: a medical condition and stormed off and cursing F U
36:14
Speaker 1: F U. Meanwhile, I am in the corner. I burst
36:17
Speaker 1: into tears by laughter. I know it wasn't nice to laugh,
36:20
Speaker 1: but I genuinely could not control my tears. background information
36:22
Speaker 1: she has extreme constipation and struggles passing bowel movements she
36:25
Speaker 1: mentioned to me that she has to take extreme laxatives
36:28
Speaker 1: and sometimes they don't work she'll have to go to
36:30
Speaker 1: the doctor or her large intestines will burst as many
36:32
Speaker 1: times as when gas passed in front of me i've
36:35
Speaker 1: never uttered a word until today do you guys think
36:37
Speaker 1: i'm in the wrong i think you're in the wrong
36:38
Speaker 1: but i also think it's kind of funny i feel
36:40
Speaker 1: like that's what friends do to each other uh you're
36:41
Speaker 1: the asshole don't laugh at people's medical problems and don't
36:43
Speaker 1: be rude regardless of how agitated you feel You're the asshole.
36:46
Speaker 1: You don't laugh at your friend for farting. Okay, I
36:48
Speaker 1: don't care who you are. I'm gonna laugh at you
36:50
Speaker 1: for farting. I feel like I can't be- I can't
36:51
Speaker 1: judge this one because I don't care if you're a
36:53
Speaker 1: dead body on the table of my mother. I already farted.
36:55
Speaker 1: I'm gonna laugh. Okay, that's too much. Guys, I need
36:58
Speaker 1: to go. If you have any M.I. The Assholes you
36:59
Speaker 1: want me to react to, drop them in the comments.
37:01
Speaker 1: I love you guys. Have a beautiful day. Make the
37:03
Speaker 1: world a better place, okay? I love you. Bye.