Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I Hate That Side of Town
Transcript
- 0:00Hey you.
- 0:13Oh hey, how's it going?
- 0:15So funny to see you here.
- 0:17Got a bad case of the half rack.
- 0:20The half rack?
- 0:22Yeah.
- 0:23Is that where you have small boobs?
- 0:25They don't know what to do.
- 0:26See, at this point, you need to go away or you need to get bigger.
- 0:30You know?
- 0:31Yeah.
- 0:32I just can't decide.
- 0:34Well, here at Very Fine Friends, we'll help you out.
- 0:38Thank you.
- 0:39You know, it's the cure for half rack.
- 0:41No.
- 0:43Bonus.
- 0:44Oh.
- 0:44Improv.
- 0:45What?
- 0:46Yeah, I know.
- 0:47Oh, my God.
- 0:48Goodbye, ladies.
- 0:49Goodbye, ladies.
- 0:50It's been.
- 0:52I hope you find your paradise.
- 0:56Joe.
- 0:56Can we please get a suggestion?
- 1:00Please.
- 1:01We've been so good.
- 1:02Real good.
- 1:04We've been so good.
- 1:06Yeah, babies be good.
- 1:08We've been so good.
- 1:13Babies be good.
- 1:18Babies pop the hood.
- 1:20Babies know they should.
- 1:23Babies.
- 1:24No firewood?
- 1:24Babies.
- 1:26uh what is your oh yeah i remember your suggestion your suggestion is loads loads yep
- 1:37that makes me think of two things let's talk about laundry yeah laundry i don't think i've
- 1:45ever had to go to a laundromat really the closest i've ever come to that is my
- 1:52apartment complex in college had a communal like like each building had like just a couple
- 2:00or in new york too it was like down in the basement but other than that i never had to
- 2:07go to a like full-on laundromat that seemed like um not fun not fun yeah i haven't either i hear
- 2:13stories though about people who like get their clothes stolen you know or like if you go there
- 2:19and like you leave.
- 2:20Some people have gone back to a laundromat
- 2:21and found that someone took all their stuff out
- 2:23and like washed their own clothes.
- 2:25Yeah.
- 2:25I'm like, that's really shitty.
- 2:27Yeah.
- 2:28Although I have to say,
- 2:29I always like it in movies and TV shows
- 2:31when there is a scene in a laundromat.
- 2:34I think it's a good setting.
- 2:35Yeah.
- 2:36It's an interesting setting.
- 2:37Yeah, it is.
- 2:38Curious place to be.
- 2:40On this fine Wednesday Eve.
- 2:42Do you think there are people
- 2:43that just go there to hang out?
- 2:44Yes.
- 2:45I think so too.
- 2:46Yeah.
- 2:47I wouldn't do that
- 2:49no if you were like
- 2:50hey you want to hang out
- 2:51with me at the laundromat
- 2:52because I have stuff to do there
- 2:53I would probably go
- 2:54yeah
- 2:55it's like different
- 2:56if you're like
- 2:57hanging out with a buddy
- 2:57it's just like
- 2:58yeah it's just
- 2:58it's like a hangout sesh
- 3:00but we're
- 3:01but yeah
- 3:04yeah
- 3:05but I have chores to do
- 3:07it's like going
- 3:08like running errands
- 3:09with somebody
- 3:09yeah
- 3:10depends on who you're with
- 3:12yeah exactly
- 3:13anything can be fun
- 3:14with the right person
- 3:15yes
- 3:15and anything can be hell with the wrong person.
- 3:19Have you ever done the thing where you wash, you accidentally wash color with like your
- 3:26whites and it makes my white shirt pink?
- 3:29Yeah, sure have.
- 3:31I wasn't meant to do my own laundry.
- 3:36I don think I ever done that But then again I think you own all black i know i do basically oh no i mix my blacks with my blacks no they all still black
- 3:46i can tell though i can see it i can see the difference
- 3:50i don't mind laundry though i hate it really you know why i hate it because it's
- 3:58I don't mind an appliance that does all the work.
- 4:03That's great.
- 4:04Yeah.
- 4:04But it's like, when I do laundry, that's when I'm in the mood to do it.
- 4:09Not an hour later when it's ready to be put away.
- 4:12I'm doing something else now.
- 4:13I don't want to fold.
- 4:15I wanted to fold an hour ago.
- 4:18That ship has sailed, dryer.
- 4:20You'll be in there for three to five business days until I'm in the mood again.
- 4:23You had your chance.
- 4:24Is it you leave your clothes in the dryer or in a laundry basket?
- 4:28occasionally I leave them in the dryer.
- 4:30I make sure they're dry, but I'm like,
- 4:31it's not happening tonight.
- 4:32I'll wet one of the underwears and throw them back in
- 4:36and re-dry it tomorrow.
- 4:37I don't know if that does anything.
- 4:39It carries a little steam,
- 4:41so it kind of releases some wrinkles, I think.
- 4:43Okay, that's why I do it.
- 4:44Yeah.
- 4:45I have a system.
- 4:47I'm very efficient with my laundry.
- 4:49All my stuff goes into a basket
- 4:51that then immediately gets carried.
- 4:54Every Sunday night I do my laundry,
- 4:56throw it all in.
- 4:57real easy the next day it could and then right before bed i put it into the dryer
- 5:03so it dries while i'm sleeping and then i fold it first thing the next day well not first thing
- 5:09right after the gym so it and fold it all and put it away is it ever wrinkly because you let it sit
- 5:13no it's okay it's fine okay cool now so none of nothing i wear is like wrinkly yeah i wear
- 5:20t-shirts and running shorts.
- 5:22Yeah. I wear yoga pants
- 5:24and t-shirts. It's fine.
- 5:26Okay. Great system. Yeah.
- 5:28Anyway, not to brag or anything.
- 5:30I don't need to brag either, but
- 5:32my clothes are the dry cleaners.
- 5:36The laundromat,
- 5:36they don't let you hang out.
- 5:40And now, improv.
- 5:48Hey, Sam. Thanks for
- 5:50agreeing to do some errands with me. I really appreciate it. There's just been things I've
- 5:55been putting off, you know what I mean? And it's just gonna be nice to have a little company.
- 5:59Therese, it is my dream to run errands with you. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, good. I'm so glad.
- 6:05Yeah. Where to first? Uh, first stop. I was supposed, I supposed to do this like three weeks
- 6:13ago and I forgot to, I just didn't, I was never in the mood. I need to, I was, I need to drop off
- 6:20this ransom, um, to the, it's supposed to be the mailbox at the corner of, uh, Cleveland and 91st
- 6:31street. Oh God. I hope that's, yeah, I was, I agreed to be a mediator for this whole thing.
- 6:38There was a kidnap kid and I was supposed to be the go between.
- 6:45I just, the family gave me the money like three weeks ago and I've just been putting it off.
- 6:50I hate that side of town.
- 6:52It'll be so nice to have company.
- 6:54It'll make it easier to go and do that.
- 6:56Yeah, I'm just, I'm a little uncomfortable.
- 6:58Is this going to be dangerous?
- 6:59I thought we were doing like normal stuff.
- 7:02I don't know.
- 7:03I hope not.
- 7:04At this point, I don't think the kidnappers are still waiting around for that money.
- 7:08but I should just do it just to be safe.
- 7:11It's just,
- 7:11just to be safe.
- 7:12Don you think like a cop should be involved Like no no no They said no cops no specifically That why they they had me as a like a neutral third party Uh yeah Oh my God This is intense
- 7:24I don't know if I'm the right person for this.
- 7:26Oh, sure you are.
- 7:26No, no.
- 7:27Are you kidding?
- 7:27For keeping me company?
- 7:29Who's, who's more, who's better suited for the job than you?
- 7:33Yeah.
- 7:34Okay.
- 7:35Well, as long as I don't have to do anything.
- 7:37Oh no.
- 7:37We'll just, you'll just take one side of the bag.
- 7:39I'll take the other side of the bag.
- 7:40Oh, I'm delivering the, I thought I could.
- 7:42you're coming yeah you're doing it with me i can't wait in the car okay um no it's just so heavy
- 7:46it's so much money how much money it's um it's three million dollars in small unmarked bills
- 7:53oh my god this is too much pressure this is too much no no you know hey it's all on me no one's
- 7:59expecting anything from you what if they're not expecting you to show up with another person and
- 8:02then it's been three weeks yeah you're right like that kid's probably dead but just to be safe and
- 8:09just to cover my ass, I need to say that I actually did it. So, all right. Um, okay. All
- 8:16right. Anyway, you've never gotten me killed before. That's true. Aaron's am I right? Yeah.
- 8:23It's going to be my day of taking care of everything. I just kind of like put off. Well,
- 8:26I mean, I'm sure this is the only, I'm sure everything else will be right up my alley. So
- 8:31All right.
- 8:33We're here.
- 8:34Cleveland and 91st.
- 8:35All right.
- 8:39It's heavy, right?
- 8:41That's a lot of money.
- 8:42All right.
- 8:44I'm looking around.
- 8:46No snipers that I can see.
- 8:48I think we're good.
- 8:49Get in the car.
- 8:50Okay.
- 8:50All right.
- 8:51Don't rush me.
- 8:52Don't rush me.
- 8:54You know, I get panicked when I drive rushed.
- 8:58Okay.
- 8:59You're my passenger.
- 9:00Safety first.
- 9:00Precious cargo.
- 9:01that's sweet.
- 9:03All right, so this is, this is done.
- 9:04Now can we get to, I'm sure the next thing is like fries, stamps, rice.
- 9:10Well, fries in a way.
- 9:11Yeah.
- 9:12What?
- 9:14There was, um, the, you know, that emu farm down the way.
- 9:21Down the way, way?
- 9:22Yeah.
- 9:22Down the way, just outside of town.
- 9:25Yeah.
- 9:25I've heard of it.
- 9:26Yeah.
- 9:26I, they, they all got rabies.
- 9:30all the emus got rabies yeah i need to go set fire to that place what yeah that's the only
- 9:36humane way to like get rid of them all in well it's humane ish you ever heard an emu screaming
- 9:42from fire yeah actually i have it's kind of a it's it's my white noise machine anyway
- 9:48i just got to do it real quick it's the only way to eradicate this disease i can't come with you
- 9:54yes you can't no that's you could stay in the car for this one i'll still hear the screams no
- 9:59No, it'll be fine.
- 10:00It'll be fine.
- 10:01Look, we're already almost there.
- 10:04I don't want to do this.
- 10:05I've got a bit of a lead foot.
- 10:06I noticed my hair's blowing in the breeze.
- 10:08Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- 10:09It's okay.
- 10:10It'll be real fast.
- 10:11No, I had emos growing up.
- 10:13This is hard for me.
- 10:14Well, then you should want them to be put out of their misery,
- 10:17their rabid, rabid misery.
- 10:18They don't look rabid.
- 10:19They look like they're frolicking.
- 10:21How do you know?
- 10:21No, no, no, no.
- 10:23No, they're not frolicking.
- 10:25They're not frolicking.
- 10:26See that one?
- 10:27He's not happy.
- 10:27he's trying to bite you.
- 10:30Well, ostriches are different than emus.
- 10:33And these emus are, that's what they do.
- 10:35They bite playfully.
- 10:36No.
- 10:37No, they bite to infect.
- 10:40Anyway, hand me that flame flower.
- 10:42Oh, God.
- 10:43Yeah, you're.
- 10:44Yeah, just real quick.
- 10:45You can close your eyes if you want.
- 10:46Okay.
- 10:46Okay.
- 10:51Oh.
- 10:52Oh my God Oh I might fall asleep Oh my It making me feel like I going to bed It hurts It hurts an emu It hurts Oh God
- 11:02That doesn't make you...
- 11:03Oh, no, it's fine.
- 11:04Hey, look, and now it's done.
- 11:06Oh, God.
- 11:07And now it's done.
- 11:07It reminds me of Emi.
- 11:11Emi?
- 11:12My childhood emu.
- 11:13Not really a creative name, but...
- 11:15I was a child!
- 11:18Why did you make me do this?
- 11:21All right.
- 11:21all right can we just move on yes yes we can and i promise that was the worst one
- 11:28thank you all right terese let's just bring it home something something easy like
- 11:33dropping off the mail well in a way we're dropping off the mail
- 11:39Well, you know, that local magicians academy.
- 11:48Yeah.
- 11:49I promised them.
- 11:53I promised them that I'd help them out with their knife throwing class.
- 11:58You know, where they you get strapped to a giant target and the magicians throw knives all around your body.
- 12:06Oh, and they they don't hit you.
- 12:08Right.
- 12:09That's the idea.
- 12:10Well, that's the idea, but it's still a class.
- 12:12So you're going to go do that?
- 12:13Well, we're going to go do that.
- 12:15What?
- 12:15No, Therese.
- 12:16No.
- 12:17I'm not going to have knives thrown at me.
- 12:19Hey, come on.
- 12:22For me.
- 12:23No, Therese.
- 12:23We'll talk the whole time.
- 12:24We'll catch up.
- 12:25What if it hits me?
- 12:26No.
- 12:28No, it won't hit you.
- 12:29They're good.
- 12:30I'm sure they're fine.
- 12:32I've done this before.
- 12:33Why us?
- 12:36I owe a guy a favor.
- 12:38I owe a magician a favor.
- 12:41Why can't you just do it?
- 12:43Take me home.
- 12:44I want to go home and look at pictures of my emu.
- 12:47Emi?
- 12:48Thank you for remembering.
- 12:49Well, it's a dumb name.
- 12:50It's hard to forget.
- 12:51You're not exactly endearing me to your cons right now.
- 12:53Okay, I'm sorry.
- 12:54Hey, hey, while we're...
- 12:56Oh, here we are.
- 12:57We're at the magician's place.
- 12:58No, you went anyway?
- 12:59Yes, we're here.
- 13:00See, it was painless.
- 13:01You didn't even know we were pulling him.
- 13:02I'm not getting out.
- 13:06I'm locking the door.
- 13:07I'm staying in the car.
- 13:08No, you're no.
- 13:09I'm sorry.
- 13:10No.
- 13:11Nope.
- 13:12Surprise.
- 13:12The doors don't lock.
- 13:13Come on.
- 13:13No, stop pulling me out.
- 13:15No, I'm strapping you to this target now.
- 13:17I don't want to be on it.
- 13:18I'm strapping you to the target.
- 13:20Don't just think of it.
- 13:21Remember, this is our time to catch up.
- 13:23That was the whole point of doing errands together.
- 13:26Okay.
- 13:28Let's catch up.
- 13:29See, it didn't hit you.
- 13:31It didn't hit you.
- 13:32Let's catch up through my fear.
- 13:34Okay.
- 13:34Tell me.
- 13:35You had a date last week.
- 13:36Tell me all about that.
- 13:38It was good.
- 13:38We had a lot of comedy.
- 13:40We had a...
- 13:41Oh, my God.
- 13:42See?
- 13:44Chiris.
- 13:46Please.
- 13:48We might see each other again.
- 13:50Oh, good.
- 13:51That's great.
- 13:52Yeah, no, chemistry was really...
- 13:53It was good.
- 13:54It looked like a...
- 13:55It looked like a picture.
- 13:58I don't know how many more chiris.
- 14:00Hey, hey, you're doing great.
- 14:01You're doing great.
- 14:02I'm blacking out.
- 14:03No, don't black out.
- 14:05No, no, no, no.
- 14:06I haven't seen you at the gym in a while
- 14:09Things going good
- 14:12Oh yeah, everything's great
- 14:13Everything's great
- 14:14Oh god, that's real good
- 14:16Oh yeah
- 14:17We're done then
- 14:19In the nuts
- 14:22It fucking messed
- 14:26Do it